


it comes and goes in waves, and carries us away

by endofdaysforme



Series: has a nice ring to it [2]
Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: F/F, F/M, I hope you guys enjoy it!, aka i'm rewriting season 3 from now to include more choni, because i know we're gonna get fucking nothing tbh, but also a sequel to my first fic in this series to YEET
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-08-02 13:05:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 212,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16305749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endofdaysforme/pseuds/endofdaysforme
Summary: cheryl blossom has always believed in the idea of having multiple soulmates.since she was a young girl, cheryl had been told over and over again by her incredibly depraved and psychotic mother that there was no one out there for her that would love her, that blossoms were made to suffer and suffer alone. and ever since she was a little girl, cheryl fought hard to rid those words from her mind, forcing herself to repeat the mantra over and over again:"there’s someone out there for everyone. even you, cheryl."--aka, the sequel to 'i was gonna die young, now i gotta wait for you honey'.--aka a rewrite of season three before it's even begun because we know there won't be enough choni.





	1. there's someone out there for everyone

**Author's Note:**

> WOW, I'M REALLY DOING THIS. 
> 
> okay, hiiii! here's the sequel to 'i was gonna die young, now i gotta wait for you honey'. i'm not saying i hated the premiere episode, but there was a lack of choni and i'm sad, so i'm rewriting it from now. also, before anyone gets up me, in this timeline, the summer hasn't rolled around yet, so choni haven't gone on their three months of cross country motorbike riding fun yet! that's one thing in canon i refuse to change because PURE. 
> 
> anyway, if you haven't read the first part of this series, i highly reccomend it, as it was a complete rewrite of season two and this will be a sequel to it! hope you guys enjoy it and please sound of in the comments below! i was going to include a certain talk that you'll find out more about once you finished the chapter in this one, but this chapter is already ridiculously long, so we're gonna save it for the next one.
> 
> okay, enough rambling. read on!

cheryl blossom has always believed in the idea of having multiple soulmates.

 

since she was a young girl, cheryl had been told over and over again by her incredibly depraved and psychotic mother that there was no one out there for her that would love her, that blossoms were made to suffer and suffer alone. and ever since she was a little girl, cheryl fought hard to rid those words from her mind, forcing herself to repeat the mantra over and over again:

 

_there’s someone out there for everyone. even you, cheryl._

 

because cheryl blossom has always believed in having multiple soulmates. not all of them needed to be romantic or intimate…for example, her twin brother, jason. cheryl is one hundred percent convinced that jason was one of her soulmates, someone who understood the ins and outs of her better than anyone else did way back when. jason felt her pain as if it was his own, would cry when she cried, would laugh when she laughed, and would smile with the brightness of a thousand suns whenever he saw his sister basking in genuine, pure happiness. not that it happened often. clifford and penelope blossom made sure of that during the first sixteen years of her life. 

 

but jason had always been there for her, and so, cheryl marked him down in her journal that she kept secret from her parents as a soulmate. a platonic one, a familial one, regardless of what the rest of the town of riverdale wanted to believe. to this day, cheryl still hears whispers about hers and jason’s relationship, if it was something ‘more’ than just a brother and sister relationship, and those rumors used to gnaw at her skin like a bad itch, making her teeth gnash together in anger every time she heard them. but now? no…now those rumors mean nothing to cheryl blossom. let them believe what they wanted.

 

because cheryl had _found_ her one true soulmate. 

 

cheryl would be lying if she didn’t admit that for a brief moment in junior high, she believed she had found that in heather hathaway, her best friend and the only girl who didn’t sneer at her, or shy away from her bitchy personality, brought on from years of abuse and neglect at the hands of her parents. no, heather hathaway saw right through her, and cheryl didn’t hesitate in marking heather down in her journal as well at the age of fifteen, her lips still tingling from the kiss heather had given her just moments before. 

 

cheryl still remembers gushing to jason about heather later on that evening, her cheeks red and her words coming out jumbled in her excitement as jason had smiled widely and told her that he was happy for her. the look in his eyes, however, indicated differently, but cheryl knew jason was only worried about what would happen if her parents found out.

 

what would happen, incidentally, is exactly what cheryl feared. 

 

when penelope blossom discovered heather and cheryl kissing in her room that fateful day, weeks before christmas, a time meant for joy and celebration, penelope had destroyed everything cheryl held dear, threatening heather’s parents and ultimately forcing them to leave riverdale, and cheryl, behind. jason had tried to reason with their mother to no avail, and cheryl had spent weeks crying in jason’s room, unable to even walk into her own room to face the empty bed that was awaiting her. 

 

heather had been ripped away from her, and cheryl’s journal stayed hidden in the loose floorboards of the pantry in thistlehouse far away from her parents prying eyes, the two marks indicating her soulmates beginning to fade on the pages that she at first, no longer wrote in out of fear of her mother finding it, but eventually simply lay forgotten, collecting dust until this very moment.

 

cheryl’s fingers brush over the weathered out leather of her journal, a sad smile forming on her face as she blinks back her tears and bites down on her bottom lip. 

 

jason and heather…two marks. and she was about to add a third…

 

they were both gone now, heather was probably far, far away, in another town completely with cheryl remaining a long lost memory that she’s likely long forgotten about…and jason.

 

god, jason…

 

the tears fall before she can stop them, and cheryl licks her lips and opens her journal, skips through the pages until she’s brushing her fingers over the single line that was meant to mark her dead twin brother as her soulmate.

 

jason is gone. has been for almost a year now…gone more than seven months after heather had been ripped away from her as well…

 

cheryl has to be strong now. not only for herself, but for jason, who defended her at every turn, who loved her so purely…he’s gone, and cheryl has to defend herself. 

 

and defend herself, she has. 

 

cheryl closes her eyes, one hand curled around her journal and the other clutching the legal papers granting her access to the money her father had left her in his will before he selfishly left this world, a smile instantly curling up her lips as she stares at it triumphantly.

 

it was over now. cheryl blossom had successfully ripped herself out of penelope blossom’s claws, emancipating herself from her mother’s care and demanding her eviction from thistlehouse to live with her slightly more sane, but nonetheless still insane grandmother in peace. 

 

she’d done what jason had always told her to do. be strong, defiant, brave…be everything their mother didn’t want her to be.

 

cheryl has no doubt that word has reached penelope’s ears about what cheryl has done…her mother more than likely knows that a certain ‘southside scum’ has officially moved into the house she once called home, and cheryl would’ve given everything she had to have witnessed the look on her mother’s face when the knowledge that a southside serpent was currently residing within her home had been dealt to her.

 

as for what penelope blossom’s reaction to discovering her only daughter had actually _joined_ the southside serpents and was officially marking herself as one in less than twenty four hours? oh, cheryl would give every spare limb she had on her body to witness that.

 

but right now…right now cheryl has a lot of other things to worry about…

 

she sighs as she places her journal and the legal papers down onto her bed and pushes herself off it, sliding her cold, but perfectly manicured feet into her slippers before making her way to the window of her bedroom. she pricks her ears for the familiar sound of a motorcycle, but instead, there’s silence, and she sighs and checks the time on her phone before licking her lips and looking outside of the window once more.

 

_she said she might be late tonight, cheryl, the speakeasy is so close to being done, don’t be selfish…_

 

staring out of the window of the beautiful home of thistlehouse, cheryl finds the streets of riverdale to be peaceful and quiet, a deep contrast to the current chaos that’s gripping the town tightly and refusing to let go.

 

a month ago, it was a full blown gang war between the southside serpents and the ghoulies, the southside becoming victim to hiram lodge and the gang currently under his payroll as the serpents were forced to relocate to the northside lake. now…

 

cheryl’s still trying to wrap her mind around the events of yesterday at riverdale high, tears welling in her eyes every time she thinks about it.

 

archie andrews. arrested for murder.

 

it seems so impossible, so improbable, that someone like archie, someone so pure and filled with love and kindness, could be capable of such a thing. it was clear that archie believed the same thing, the look of surprise and horror on his face evident as sheriff minetta had arrested him in front of the entire student body during an assembly at the school…

 

cheryl wants to help, but no one’s talking. archie had been arrested for the murder of some greendale resident, but that’s all cheryl and anybody else knew. she knows veronica lodge, betty cooper and jughead jones know something more, the three of them barely present for the last two days since archie’s arrest but the three members of the core four refused to talk until they were allowed to see archie…

 

_there’s nothing you can do, cheryl. if they need help…they’ll ask you._

 

she feels inclined to help archie. the boy had saved her from the icy depths of sweet water river all those months ago, had broken his hand doing so…she can’t simply stand by and watch him go down for something if he wasn’t guilty…

 

but the truth is…she doesn’t know if he’s innocent, either. it was no secret that archie had been working for hiram lodge before everything with the serpents went down…when archie had learned that cheryl and toni had been kidnapped and used at collateral for the serpents to give up the southside, he had denounced himself as hiram’s second hand man. but what if hiram _had_ asked archie to do something involving murder beforehand? what if archie wasn’t as innocent as she thought he was?

 

she sighs and decides she may as well take a shower to try and relax. she steps away from the window and makes her way to the en suite, quickly stripping her clothes before turning the hot water on. the heat is soothing against her still sore muscles, her fingers massaging the soap into her skin tiredly.

 

veronica and the rest of the serpents had been working hard to renovate the small basement beneath pop’s diner into a speakeasy for the serpents to occupy now that the whyte wyrm was no longer theirs. cheryl’s never done a day of labor work in her life, but she finds it somewhat rewarding. the speakeasy was looking better and better every day, thanks to their hard work…

 

it’s a short shower, just long enough for her to feel refreshed as she steps out and dries herself off before slipping into her robe. she contemplates putting on fresh underwear, but grins and decides against it.

 

she loves surprises. and she knows _she_ does, too.

 

funny then, that she has a surprise waiting for her just outside the door.

 

as soon as she opens it, the sparking sound of a lighter echoes out in her room, and the smell of cigarette smoke immediately hits her nose as she throws the door open fully, her head snapping up in confusion to land on the slightly blurred vision of a small figure seated by the window, the cloudy grey billows of smoke that leave the cigarette held between two fingers resting on a smooth, tanned thigh. 

 

cheryl’s heart immediately _soars._

 

god, they spend every waking moment together, but every second that she isn’t here, cheryl _misses her._

 

“toni?” she whispers, voice hoarse and cracking slightly from surprise more than anything, and at the sound of her name, antoinette topaz turns her head, a lazy smile lighting up her features as she looks to the woman who holds every ounce of her affection with as much softness as she can muster. 

 

“hey. uh...” toni’s voice is rough, most likely from the tobacco currently invading her lungs as she gazes down at the cigarette held limply between her fingers sheepishly before she smiles up at her girlfriend. 

 

“i stole one from sweet pea. i swear i don’t smoke often…just kind of needed one.” cheryl frowns at that, watches as the smile leaves toni’s face all too quickly, her eyes turning back to gaze outside the window, and cheryl takes a second to appreciate the beauty before her.

 

the moonlight is particularly bright tonight, a full moon shining above them as it enters cheryl’s room and lights toni topaz’s features in such an extravagant way that cheryl finds herself committing the images to memory obsessively. her tanned skin looks lighter underneath the moon’s white light, her full, but chapped lips caught between her teeth. she raises the cigarette to them, sucking in the toxic fumes and causing the end of the cigarette to light up cherry red, illuminating her brown eyes for a bare second before it’s gone, replaced with nothing but a cloud of smoke as she exhales deeply. there’s a scatter of paint on her hands and arms, some of it even marking her forehead and cheryl finds herself smiling as she notices the blobs of paint also on her white button up shirt and denim shorts. her pink hair is getting lighter, and cheryl had offered to dye it properly for her, years of a bad dye job evident in the pink strands mixed with her natural light brown hair, but toni tells her it gives her more personality.

 

cheryl can’t help but agree. she can’t imagine seeing toni with full bright pink hair. 

 

cheryl moves stealthily, almost like a cat as she shrugs her robe around her body tightly and practically glides her way over to where toni is seated at the window, and she pauses for just a moment, watches as toni smiles up at her before she sighs and sits opposite her, scooting in as close as possible until their legs are intertwined. toni’s skin is warm against her own, like it always is, and she reaches out, her fingers brushing across toni’s shin lightly.

 

“i don’t mind, t.t. it’s okay…” she whispers, and she truly doesn’t. jason used to smoke, unbeknownst to their parents, and cheryl would be lying if she said she hadn’t pinched a few from him here and there in times of stress or rebellion to spite her parents. 

 

_”cigarettes are for the poor and dirty, cheryl.”_

 

cheryl remembers hearing those words echo in her mind every time she saw jason light a cigarette up, and staring at toni now, she can’t help but come to the conclusion that her mother was once again wrong. 

 

there was nothing poor about her brother and there was certainly nothing dirty about the girl she loved. 

 

well, except for her clothes currently covering her body.

 

toni purses her lips and doesn’t respond, simply brings the cigarette to her lips once more. 

 

“was veronica there?” cheryl asks. toni simply shakes her head, and cheryl licks her lips before she nods. veronica hasn’t been there for the last two days, not that cheryl expected her to be…it was her speakeasy, sure, but she had enough to deal with, seeing as her boyfriend was currently under arrest for murder…

 

“how’d it go?” cheryl asks softly. toni itches at her brow with a sigh.

 

“we’re getting closer. it’s still at least a month or two away from being done, but we’re making progress at least.” toni murmurs, and it should be good news, but the frown on her face is evident. cheryl hesitates before she holds her hand out, her index and middle fingers extended as toni looks down at them in surprise. 

 

“penny for your thoughts, t.t?” cheryl says, her voice quiet, but full of care as toni frowns, contemplates for a brief second before she hands the cigarette over to cheryl. 

 

“I guess i’m just thinking about everything that’s happened in the last few months…thinking about you…” toni’s eyes move up to meet cheryl’s at that last word, her voice breaking slightly. cheryl pauses with the cigarette halfway up to her lips, her tongue darting out slightly to wet them before she places it between her teeth and sucks in. 

 

a flood of memories hit her as soon as the lightheadedness hits, and the scent is comforting. at first she thinks of jason, of the way he used to come home smelling of cigarette smoke…how he’d disappear into his room and cover himself in cologne to keep the scent hidden. but those memories fade and are replaced by a stoic face and a mop of unruly black hair, the sound of loud laughter echoing in her mind. 

 

sweet pea…her brother not by blood, but by choice.

 

“and what’s your conclusion?” cheryl asks, pulling herself back into the conversation before handing the cigarette back to toni, who bites down on her lower lip to hide a smile before she scoffs and shakes her head. she turns her gaze back to the window with a shrug. 

 

“my conclusion is…riverdale is a really fucked up town. and even though i love the serpents…i can’t wait to get out of it. maybe during summer…just spend three months away from this place in peace.” 

 

cheryl says nothing.

 

because of course, her cherie, her beautiful antoinette, would have the same hopes and dreams as her.

 

to get in a car, to drive as far away from riverdale as possible and never look back. 

 

“where would you go?” cheryl asks, and toni frowns at that, takes a drag from the cigarette in her fingers before she tilts her head questioningly.

 

“you’re not coming with me?” she asks, like it’s the simplest thing in the world, and cheryl finds the corners of her lips lifting in a smile as she bows her head.

 

“i didn’t want to assume…” 

 

“that i’d drag my girlfriend out of this fucked up town with me? come on, cher…” toni scoffs again, takes another drag of the cigarette before holding it out to cheryl, who shakes her head simply, but doesn’t even attempt to hide the gigantic grin that lights up her features.

 

there’s that word that cheryl loves hearing. ‘girlfriend’. it rolls off toni’s tongue so easily, as if it was made to be said by her in regards to cheryl. 

 

“no, cheryl…if there’s one thing in my life i’m sure of, it’s that if i ever left this place, i’d take you with me…to keep you safe from harm.” 

 

and it’s the roughness in her voice, the tone laced with doubt and worry that has cheryl stiffening in her seat before she plucks the cigarette from between her love’s fingers and takes a drag. she contemplates it for a moment before handing it back to toni, and the pink haired serpent licks her lips before taking the last drag and throwing it out of the open window. she looks at cheryl with a certain sadness heavy in her brown eyes, and cheryl blows the last of the smoke still sitting in her lungs out before she grips toni’s hands in her own.

 

she knows why toni’s saying this, she just _knows…_

 

“toni, you said you were okay with me being a southside serpent.” cheryl says firmly, and if it was anyone else, absolutely anyone else, her voice would be laced with venom, filled with anger at such a treacherous thought that she, cheryl blossom, couldn’t handle being a southside serpent. 

 

but if there is one person cheryl can never be angry with, it’s the small, pink haired beauty sitting opposite her.

 

“no, it’s not that, cheryl, you know i _love_ the fact that you’re a serpent. it’s been a month, baby, if i was upset about that i would’ve said something way sooner.” toni says with a small chuckle before she’s pulling one hand out of cheryl’s grip and scratching at her cheek absentmindedly with a shake of her head.

 

“no, i love you being a serpent i just…that jacket puts a target on your back now, an even bigger one than before, and the ghoulies already attacked you when you weren’t a serpent…now? god only knows what they’ll do to you, i just…” toni trails off, a darkness settling deep in her eyes, and cheryl can practically see the horrible thoughts that lie behind them, the horrors of what the ghoulies could do to the girl she loves, the same fear that grips cheryl every time she thinks of the fact that toni could be attacked at any moment as well… 

 

the ghoulies have been quiet for the last month, not a single one in sight on the northside, but the cheers and echoes that the serpents could hear on the lakeside coming from the southside was torture to them. to know that their home now played host to their enemies…

 

it hurts, but cheryl knows this isn’t the last they’ve heard of the ghoulies, and she’s just as scared as toni is. scared to be a target, scared for toni to be a target, scared for any of the serpents to fall victim to a ghoulie attack.

 

enough pain has been felt by the serpents at the hands of the ghoulies. 

 

“i just don’t want you to get hurt, cheryl. the last month has been nothing but stressful.” toni whispers. 

 

jason.

 

oh, how toni reminds her of jason. always so protective of her, ready to do absolutely anything to ensure her safety…

 

cheryl’s always believed in multiple soulmates. 

 

“as amazing and absolutely heartwarming i think it is that you wish for me to remain safe at all times, toni, i have to ask…what brought all this on? is it because i’m getting my tattoo tomorrow?” cheryl asks softly. 

 

cheryl had been initiated a month ago now, had been given her red southside serpent jacket that rested so proudly on her shoulders every day, but she hasn’t been able to get her tattoo, the serpents busy with renovating the speakeasy on top of recovering from the attack from the ghoulies that saw them lose the southside. but the fact remains, she’s been a serpent for over a month…so, why was toni thinking about all of this now?

 

cheryl knows there’s still many things about her girlfriend that she doesn’t know…yes, she knows that being a serpent is in toni’s blood, that toni’s parents were serpents and that they died when she was ten, leaving her with no choice but to live with her awful, abusive uncle, knows that toni served a sentence in a juvenile correctional facility after getting caught with drugs on a serpent mission, but she doesn’t know the full details of what toni’s had to do as a serpent…

 

she’s been waiting for toni to tell her in her own time.

 

she knows some of the jobs are dangerous, knows some of the jobs have been ones toni has disagreed with, but still…

 

“i guess the tattoo makes it real, cher…once that ink is on your skin, that’s it. you’re a serpent for life.” she whispers, and she’s scratching at cheryl’s wrist, something she only does when she’s agitated…

 

“toni…” cheryl has no idea what to say to that. it’s what she wants, more than anything, but something she wants _more_ is for toni to be happy…

 

toni hesitates for a brief moment, regret shining in her eyes before she licks her lips and powers through her doubt.

 

“cheryl, is it so much for me to want to keep you safe after everything you’ve been through?” toni says in exasperation, her fingers wrapping around cheryl’s wrist now in a tight grip as she avoids cheryl’s gaze, her eyes dropping down to cheryl’s fingers. she begins playing with them, and cheryl lets her, because right now, she’s overwhelmed. she has no idea what to say…

 

so instead cheryl leans forward, her fingers intertwining with toni’s own, and the contrast is astounding.

 

perfectly manicured bright red nails, gripping the hands of calloused skin and black painted nails that are chipping by the second. 

 

“of course it isn’t, toni. i worry about you, too…but you’d do anything for your family, and that’s one of the many qualities about you that makes me more and more infatuated by you. you know i’ve never had a family, t.t. i had jason, but…he’s gone now. and you…” the words build in her throat, but stop there, not moving past her voice box as her grip on toni’s hands tighten, and when she looks up into toni’s chocolate brown eyes, she sees the doubt within them.

 

and the words push past at the sight of it.

 

“you’re my family, toni. you have been from the moment you held me close and agreed to be my girlfriend. we’re always going to worry about each other, it’s just…part of being a family.” she whispers hoarsely. toni pauses for a brief moment before she’s scooting impossibly closer to the redhead, a hand reaching out to cradle cheryl’s cheek lovingly before she brushes her thumb across cheryl’s pillowy bottom lip affectionately. 

 

“you’re my family, too, cheryl…” she hesitates, her teeth biting down on her bottom lip before she sighs. 

 

two girls from two very different backgrounds…but both of them with broken families that left them scrambling to pick up the pieces. toni, with no parents and an uncle who hurt her, physically and emotionally, every chance he got and a grandfather who was wasting away just as nana rose was…cheryl, with a dead father and a dead twin brother, stuck with a mother who threw her into a gay conversion therapy camp and a grandmother who was as crazy as she was old. 

 

all they had was each other.

 

“can you promise me something?” toni breathes. 

 

cheryl doesn’t hesitate.

 

“anything.” she whispers back. toni takes a deep breath in before she talks.

 

“promise me that if jughead or f.p or any of the other serpents give you a job to do, you demand i go with you. no matter how small or stupid that job is, we’re a team in this now. i can’t…the idea of you doing a job without me, and that job going south, or you getting hurt and i’m not there…” toni trails off, the words almost too harsh to bear as she swallows thickly, and cheryl once again doesn’t hesitate.

 

because she can’t think of a reason not to agree with those terms.

 

“of course, t.t. promise you’ll do the same for me?” 

 

toni doesn’t hesitate, either.

 

“i promise, baby.” toni cradles cheryl’s hands in her face, her thumbs brushing over cheryl’s cheeks so lovingly that cheryl finds herself whimpering before she can stop herself, and she leans in closer to her pink haired beauty.

 

they’re serpents together now, that’s what matters…

 

“we’re in this together now, toni, and i…i don’t want you to be worried about me…i’ve weathered worse storms than being a southside serpent, trust me.” she whispers. she suffered sixteen years of abuse at the hands of penelope blossom, had lost the only two people she ever loved within less than seven months, had been tortured at the hands of insane nuns and ghoulies…

 

cheryl can do this. 

 

toni’s teeth worry her bottom lip before she’s leaning in as well, coming to a stop with her forehead resting against cheryl’s. 

 

“i know you have, but i’m still gonna be worried, cheryl. like you said, it’s part of being a family…so it comes with the territory of being my girlfriend.” 

 

god, that word again…

 

“i love when you call me that.” cheryl says softly, and toni smiles, finally bridges the gap between their lips in a soft, loving kiss. 

 

cheryl’s kissed plenty of people in her life, but god…nothing will ever compare to the feeling of toni topaz’s lips against her own. 

 

it’s like puzzle pieces slotting together to form a final picture, a masterpiece of love and devotion that cheryl has never seen the likes of before. 

 

for despite their many differences, despite the fact that they are from two completely different worlds…they understand and respect each other.

 

toni topaz understands the ins and outs of cheryl blossom better than she thinks even jason did. she understands that when cheryl is lashing out, there’s a deep seated pain resting on her chest that’s causing her to do so. that when cheryl is being unnecessarily mean, it’s because there’s sixteen years of her mother’s whispers in her ear echoing within her mind, making her believe that she’s worthless, a monster, incapable of love or being loved. 

 

and cheryl blossom, bless her, is making the effort to understand the ins and outs of toni topaz as well. she knows now, that toni is the kind of person who refuses to talk to others about how she’s feeling, chooses not to burden others with her problems and instead, lends an ear for someone to talk to. she knows small things, too. like when toni begins to chew on the inside of her cheek, she’s worried about something, or when she cracks her knuckles or clenches her fist, she’s containing anger within her five foot tall frame. 

 

this is a relationship built on respect and love, a strong foundation to build a relationship on, cheryl thinks.

 

for right now, she doesn’t want to even fathom the possibility of going through life without antoinette topaz by her side. 

 

toni pulls away first, sucking in a deep breath as she does, and cheryl’s the first to open her eyes, a smile forming on her full lips that are slightly swollen now. toni brushes her thumb over them once again, eyes flicking back and forth between cheryl’s lips and eyes before she swallows once and nods.

 

“so have you decided yet? if you want your tattoo on your shoulder or your hip?” she breathes. cheryl’s smile grows impossibly wider, and she reaches out, brushes her fingers across toni’s exposed collarbone, her thumb moving down to tug on the first button that’s undone before she licks her swollen lips and shakes her head. 

 

“no, not yet. i know you said shoulder but…” she trails off, her mind suddenly filling with the image of where toni has her own tattoo…on the right side of her body beside her breast, just above her ribcage…

 

her mind drifts, thoughts of toni’s body flooding her mind and causing her heart to beat erratically at the thought. the heat that pools within her stomach is undeniable as toni suddenly bites down on her bottom lip, deep in thought. 

 

“the hip hurts a lot...” she mumbles as she leans in to press a kiss to the corner of cheryl’s mouth.

 

“oh? and how would you know that, t.t? there’s no ink on your hip…unless it’s invisible.” is all cheryl says, a smirk lighting up her face. toni chokes on her own laughter.

 

“because birdie wouldn’t shut up about it when i got mine. she told me she didn’t care if i got it on my ass, as long as it wasn’t my hipbone.” toni says with a grin. cheryl licks her lips to hide a smile, those thoughts still invading her mind as she tugs on the bottom of toni’s shirt eagerly.

 

“i like where your tattoo is…” she murmurs, leaning forward to press her lips to toni’s lightly. the pink haired serpent chuckles against her, and she takes the hint, reaches for the buttons of her shirt, pulling them out slowly before she slides the shirt off her body with ease.

 

her pink hair falls around her shoulders as soon as the shirt is removed.

 

there it is. the two headed snake, curled into the shape of an ‘s’, dark black in contrast with her already brown skin, glinting slightly in the moonlight and just peeking out above the hemline of her bra. 

 

the tattoo that will find itself on cheryl’s flesh in less than a day, marking her forever as a southside serpent. 

 

she finds her fingers moving out to touch it, and the second her cold fingers make contact with the warm skin of toni’s, goosebumps immediately form over her side, her body jolting slightly in surprise from the contact as cheryl caresses the tattoo with slightly trembling fingers. 

 

“shoulder?” cheryl croaks out. toni licks her lips and reaches down to cradle her cheek with a nod.

 

“shoulder.” she says back firmly. cheryl gives her a simple nod and a smile, and she leans in, pressing her lips to the tattoo in the softest kiss she can muster. 

 

_this is deviant behavior, cheryl! disgusting!_

 

cheryl sucks in a deep breath and closes her eyes, her nails digging into toni’s skin harshly as her mother’s words echo in her mind.

 

god…her mother may be out of her life now, but the impact she’s had on her will never fade. cheryl’s _still_ having those thoughts, still hearing her mother’s words of disapproval…

 

she wishes more than anything that she could erase it all. could erase penelope blossom and her years of abuse from her mind so she could live happily with toni by her side, but god, it’s hard. there’s still days where cheryl feels guilty for loving the pink haired serpent, still days where her mother’s words eat at her mind like a cancer, where the memories of pain and torture at _that god awful place_ cause her to twitch beneath toni’s fingers-

 

“i’ve lost you. where’d you go?” a hand on her cheek pulls her out of her thoughts, and she looks up, eyes boring into toni’s, a look of concern shining in her eyes despite the smile that lights her features, and cheryl returns it, takes a deep breath in and leans in to press a kiss to the tattoo that adorns her love’s skin once again, lips a little more insistent this time as if she’s spiting her mother with her actions. 

 

she was happy. for the first time in her life she was happy…she can’t let penelope or _anyone else_ ruin it…

 

a light gasp escapes toni at her touch, her fingers subconsciously scratching through cheryl’s red hair as her lips trail upwards in open mouthed kisses to latch onto toni’s neck. the bruises caused by her uncle over a month ago have finally faded completely after so long, and cheryl’s almost eager to suck a different kind of bruise onto her skin now. toni moans softly as cheryl sucks the skin between her teeth, her nails scratching the back of cheryl’s neck and causing a shiver to run up the red head’s spine-

 

“which shoulder?” toni breathes suddenly. cheryl detaches her lips with a loud pop and looks up at her with a raised eyebrow, and toni chuckles before she raises her index finger and motions for cheryl to turn around. she smiles, turning in toni’s arms until she’s practically sitting in the pink haired serpent’s lap. toni settles her legs on either side of her girlfriend and smooths her hands down cheryl’s robe before she pinches the fabric between her fingers and slides it down cheryl’s body until it’s wrapped around her elbows. cheryl shivers slightly from the cold air coming in from the window as it touches her bare skin, hears toni gasp softly as she realizes that cheryl’s not wearing anything underneath…

 

nails scratch down the exposed skin of her back affectionately, and she turns to look over her left shoulder and reaches back to tap her left shoulder blade. 

 

“right there.” she whispers hoarsely. she looks at her girlfriend now, who is staring at her exposed skin with nothing but lust shining in her eyes. 

 

toni is quiet for a long moment, eyes simply roaming over cheryl’s pale skin with slightly parted lips before she looks to cheryl with a warm smile and leans forward.

 

her hands grip cheryl’s waist, pulling her in close as her lips touch her shoulder blade, the spot where her serpent tattoo will shine, and cheryl hums, her eyes closing subconsciously at the feeling of toni’s lips against her skin.

 

“i think it’s a perfect spot. i’ll get to kiss it every morning.” toni murmurs, and she moves her head up, resting her chin on cheryl’s shoulder as her arms wrap around the red head from behind. 

 

cheryl could cry. 

 

how did she get so lucky? 

 

_kismet, cheryl. you’re meant to be together…it’s fate._

 

“i love you, toni.” cheryl whispers. she can’t see the pink haired serpent, but she knows she’s smiling as she presses a kiss to the skin between cheryl’s shoulder and neck.

 

“i love you too, cher. and like you said, we’re in this together now. whatever comes next…we do it together.” toni murmurs. cheryl squeezes the hands around her waist and leans back into toni, shivering slightly from the cold air that continues to come in through the window. toni must feel it too, because she reaches out and closes the window before pressing a kiss to cheryl’s hair.

 

“thank you, t.t.” she says simply. toni nods against her, begins trailing kisses over her skin as she slides the robe further down cheryl’s body slowly…

 

“mmm…” cheryl hums softly in content, and toni stops the robe before it passes her breasts while pressing a kiss behind her ear.

 

“there’s a book on the bed. i was gonna read it, but i thought it might be something private, so i left it just in case.” she whispers. cheryl’s eyes snap open, blinking in surprise as she squeezes toni’s hands around her waist tightly.

 

she thought it might be something private…where the hell did this girl come from? her whole life, she’s had to keep things to herself, hide things like the journal itself from her mother and father, and yet here toni was, with something private to cheryl right in front of her…and she barely even touched it… 

 

“i…thank you, toni. for not reading it…it is private. an old journal of mine.” she whispers back, still in shock over toni’s ability to stop herself from reading the leather bound journal. toni chuckles and wraps her arms around her tightly.

 

“ooooh, the words of a young cheryl blossom? color me intrigued.” she teases. cheryl laughs lightly, and she hesitates, licking her lips before she turns her body to face toni properly, causing the robe to drop completely now, but toni keeps eye contact with the red haired girl, only making her fall more in love with the pink haired serpent. 

 

she’ll show toni…she’ll show her the things she wrote about jason…and even heather. but for now, she wants to keep those words to herself.

 

“one day. i promise.” she says softly. toni grips her knees and leans in to kiss her cheek.

 

“i’ll hold you to that, bombshell. whenever you’re ready.” cheryl smiles, and toni sighs tiredly against her before she’s running the tips of her fingers over cheryl’s collarbones, her teeth biting down on her bottom lip as if she’s fighting a battle inside her mind as her eyes roam over cheryl’s body.

 

cheryl takes in the look on her face and knows exactly what battle it is she’s fighting. 

 

she knows that look _very well._

 

cheryl raises an eyebrow at her, and toni finally meets her eyes after a few moments and smirks back.

 

“hey, you started it. don’t think i didn’t notice you looking at me like i’m a full course meal, cher.” she teases. 

 

cheryl simply grins.

 

“glad you noticed. because frankly, t.t…. _i’m starving._ ”

 

\-------------------------

 

toni’s never exactly been fond of needles. 

 

it’s the reason why her tattoo is so small, compared to the gigantic one sweet pea has on his neck. she didn’t want that tattoo gun on her skin for longer than twenty minutes, and the entire time she had squeezed fangs’s hand until the boy was wincing, tears building in his eyes with each second that toni held onto his fingers. 

 

she hated getting shots as a kid, and when she had cut her leg open at the age of eight on a rusted piece of metal at the trailer she shared with her parents, she had screamed and cried and kicked at the doctor so much that her mother had to distract her for half an hour straight before the doctor could jab her with a tetanus shot. 

 

so no, she’s not the biggest fan of needles.

 

and watching sweet pea turn the tattoo gun on and hearing the familiar whirling sound of the many miniature needles, she finds bile rising in the back of her throat that she quickly swallows down.

 

because she has to be strong right now. 

 

they’re in f.p’s trailer, which is a less than sterile environment to be getting a tattoo in, but if toni and the rest of the serpents were able to get their ones at the whyte wyrm without consequences, she’s pretty sure cheryl will be fine. sweet pea’s not bad at giving tattoos, he had given toni and fangs their tattoos, but toni still wishes they could’ve gotten their actual tattoo artist, danny, to do cheryl’s.

 

unfortunately, he was one of the ones who had betrayed them and joined the ghoulies. 

 

he was a damn good tattoo artist, but now that she thinks about it, toni doesn’t want him touching cheryl with a ten foot fucking pole. 

 

cheryl looks paler than normal, but she pushes the front of her body closer to the back of her chair, her fingers curling around the hard back of it tightly while the other hand holds her shirt up. the fact that she’s allowing sweet pea to tattoo her is itself a miracle. she’s spent the last week gazing at toni’s tattoo to look for imperfections in sweet pea’s work, but when she could find none, she had finally agreed to let the serpent boy ink her up. cheryl squeezes her eyes shut, and toni exhales shakily and scoots her chair closer to her girlfriend. 

 

“are you sure about this, baby?” toni whispers. cheryl’s eyes flutter open, and she stares at toni with the softest smile before she nods. 

 

“i’m sure. i just…don’t like needles. not after the sisters…” she croaks out. toni ignores the pain that stabs at her heart, ignores the tears that well in her eyes and instead focuses all her attention on the red haired girl in front of her.

 

_your mom could do it, so can you, toni. distract her, you can do this._

 

toni tries to remember what her mother had done to distract her, but she’s not exactly sure stuffed animals and toys will work on her sixteen year old girlfriend. so instead, she leans forward and rests her lips on the crown of cheryl’s head, pressing gentle kisses to the skin. she feels cheryl immediately relax, and toni smiles and curls her fingers around the back of cheryl’s neck, giving it a gentle squeeze. 

 

sweet pea frowns and looks down at the purple ink of the stencil on cheryl’s shoulder with concentration. he gives it a quick wipe with a cloth before sighing.

 

“you ready?” he asks gruffly. cheryl looks over her shoulder and gives him a curt nod. sweet pea looks up at toni with a small smile before he turns the tattoo gun on and leans forward. 

 

the erratic buzzing from the tattoo gun that’s seconds away from marking cheryl’s flesh fills toni’s ears, and cheryl jumps slightly before she closes her eyes and grips toni’s hands tighter. toni simply leans in and rests her lips on cheryl’s forehead, a promise that she’s not leaving until the ink on cheryl’s skin has dried and marked her as a southside serpent for life. 

 

the second the tattoo gun makes contact, cheryl bites down on her lower lip and lets out a soft groan. toni says nothing, simply curls a hand around the back of her neck in support. cheryl rests her forehead against toni’s collarbone, breathing in her scent as her other hand curls around the back of the stool her chest is resting on.

 

“you okay?” sweet pea asks, frowning as soon as he draws a single line. cheryl nods against toni, who purses her lips and looks up at sweet pea with a nod as well.

 

“she’s strong, sweets.” she says with a smile. she feels cheryl smile against her, her lips pressing a kiss to her skin before sweet pea sighs and continues his work. 

 

toni leans in closer and presses her lips to cheryl’s ear to whisper softly. 

 

“i’m thinking…after this, we can go to the bijou, watch that new lady gaga movie. then we can go to pop’s, have some dinner and milkshakes before we head home and cuddle up in bed for the night. sound good?” toni whispers. cheryl doesn’t respond, her nails digging into the chair, and toni presses a kiss to her hair with a sigh.

 

“cher, focus on the sound of my voice, okay, baby?” cheryl curls her right hand around toni’s forearm as she exhales shakily. 

 

toni knows it’s not the pain that’s making cheryl not respond right now. she knows it’s the memories…the sisters of quiet mercy had been anything but merciful in their attack on cheryl, her red haired girlfriend telling her every little detail of her five days stuck in that hellhole while toni had done everything possible to find her. toni remembers the nights cheryl had spent divulging that information to toni, who had simply held her close and pressed kisses to every inch of her skin. 

 

penelope blossom’s request had been that any thoughts of deviancy, any thoughts of girls in a sexual way were erased from cheryl’s mind…and cheryl had admitted to toni that they’d gotten close many, many times.

 

toni’s pretty sure that guilt still rears its ugly head every time she and cheryl get intimate, knows the redhead is hearing her mother’s and those sadistic nun’s words when she inhales sharply or winces at toni pressing kisses to her skin no matter how hard she tried to be in the moment…

 

her stay at the sisters of quiet mercy had been relatively short, but the week that cheryl had been held captive had stretched on for what felt like lifetimes for both girls. every day felt like an eternity, for cheryl, every second a nightmare as her mere existence was chastised and called ‘depraved’, and ‘sickening’, and for toni, every second a nightmare not knowing where the girl she loved was being held, or if she was okay or even alive at all…

 

“cher…” toni whispers. cheryl buries her head into the crook of toni’s shoulder and gives her a simple nod.

 

“s-sounds good, t.t.” she breathes out. toni smiles and runs her fingers through cheryl’s hair, keeping it clear from the area sweet pea is tattooing. 

 

it’s quick, surprisingly. the tattoo is done within twenty five minutes, and toni watches as cheryl straightens up and looks toni in the eyes. sweet pea wipes down the tattoo and quickly tapes down wrapping to protect it. 

 

“don’t itch the skin, don’t go out into the sun-.”

 

“i’ll make sure she looks after it, don’t worry, sweets.” toni says with a roll of her eyes, but she returns cheryl’s smile with nothing but pride. 

 

she’s marked herself as a serpent for life now. all for toni…all for her family.

 

“in that case…” sweet pea pulls his phone out and takes a quick photo before showing it to cheryl.

 

“welcome to the southside serpents, red.” he says with a grin. cheryl takes sweet pea’s phone and zooms in on the tattoo with a smile and wide eyes that take in the ink that has now forever marked her flesh. 

 

“wow…you’ve surprised me, sweet pea. it looks amazing.” she says breathlessly. 

 

“jeez, thanks.” he grumbles, standing up with a roll of his eyes. toni chuckles as cheryl looks up at her with a grin.

 

“how does it look?” she asks. toni stands from her chair, her hand never leaving cheryl’s as she gives it a squeeze and walks around to look at the tattoo.

 

it’s such a stark contrast to cheryl’s pale skin, the black ink flowing and ebbing against the white canvas to form the two headed snake that adorns the skin of every southside serpent currently outside gathered around the fire at the lakeside. 

 

“it looks perfect, cheryl.” and it does, like it was always made to mark the skin of one cheryl blossom…

 

toni hesitates before she brushes her fingers over the clear wrapping around it. cheryl shivers at her touch, but she’s smiling as she closes her eyes and leans back on her chair into toni’s touch, her hands holding up her shirt to stop her breasts from being exposed. 

 

“i’ll leave you two alone for a second, but please don’t have sex in my trailer.” sweet pea says, waggling his eyebrows. toni punches him in the chest.

 

“god, get out.” sweet pea rubs his chest with a laugh, but exits the trailer all the same, and toni passes cheryl her bra and first helps her put it on, avoiding her tattoo carefully. as soon as it’s on, she helps cheryl shrug her shirt back on as well, her fingers trailing over the skin of cheryl’s stomach before she tugs it down to cover her up. 

 

“how do you feel?” toni asks softly, looking up at her girlfriend with a smile. cheryl doesn’t answer. she simply cradles toni’s face and kisses her deeply, toni responding enthusiastically by gripping the red head by the waist and pulling her in closer. 

 

these are the moments toni lives for, the moments where she and cheryl can be alone and simply bask in each other’s presence, and god, the warmth of cheryl’s body against her own, the feeling of her lips brushing over toni’s over and over again, breathing her in, nothing but love and affection pouring from each of them…

 

they don’t pull away from each other for at least a few minutes, lips moving languidly as cheryl runs her fingers through toni’s pink hair lovingly.

 

“sweet pea said not to have sex in the trailer.” toni finally breathes out when she manages to pull herself away from cheryl, who laughs and rests her forehead against toni’s as she hums softly. 

 

“to answer your question, t.t, i feel…complete.” cheryl whispers. toni smiles and tucks a lock of hair behind cheryl’s ear affectionately before looking her girlfriend in the eyes. 

 

“you were a serpent without the tattoo, cheryl.” she tells her. cheryl smiles.

 

“i know. but still…now it’s official. i’m a serpent forever now…it’s right there on my shoulder.” 

 

“mmm, now we have matching tattoos.” toni teases, leaning up to press a kiss to the skin of cheryl’s pulse. 

 

“we do!” cheryl giggles. toni smiles at the sound, her heart aching with happiness because cheryl’s laughter is something that’s hard to come by…the girl has been through so much, in just sixteen years…it pains toni even to think about it.

 

_she’s happy now, toni. **you** make her happy. _

 

toni interlaces her fingers with cheryl’s, dragging her out toward the door of sweet pea’s trailer. they blink in the sunlight as soon as they step outside into the slightly chilly air, toni making her way straight to the fire where jughead, fangs, f.p and sweet pea are gathered. they all look up at their approach, and fangs grins and reaches out to squeeze cheryl’s bicep tightly.

 

“heard it’s all done! you’re officially a serpent now, cheryl.” he cheers, the grin on his face only growing wider as jughead rolls his eyes.

 

“eh, she’s been a serpent for a month now. the tattoo just solidifies her status.” jughead says with a smile, and cheryl’s attention turns to her beanie wearing serpent brother, his eyes crinkling as he walks forward with his arms outstretched.

 

“wow, it’s the end of times if jughead’s hugging cheryl bombshell.” toni teases, grinning widely at him.

 

“shut up.” they both say at the same time with a roll of their eyes, and toni simply raises an eyebrow as jughead chuckles and pulls cheryl in for a light hug.

 

“sorry it took so long for you to get your tattoo, and this doesn’t really need to be said, but…welcome to the southside serpents, cheryl blossom.” jughead says softly, and sweet pea and fangs cheer loudly, both of them whooping as cheryl pulls away from jughead and gives his hand a gentle squeeze.

 

“thank you.” she whispers. jughead nods curtly, and f.p smiles as he reaches out to grip cheryl’s shoulder. 

 

“like jughead said, you’ve been a serpent since we gave you that jacket, kid. that tattoo just makes it official. i’m glad you got through the pain.” he says firmly. cheryl smiles sadly.

 

“i’ve been through much worse.” she murmurs. f.p sighs and nods, and toni can see the guilt in his eyes as he squeezes cheryl’s shoulder once more before turning back to the fire, avoiding the redhead’s eyes as he does. 

 

toni knows deep down that f.p still feels responsible for what happened with jason, and she knows that part of cheryl will never forget what the former leader of the serpents had done, the role he had played in her twin brother’s murder… 

 

but toni’s thankful that cheryl’s found it in her heart to forgive f.p. they’d spoken about it in length the day after cheryl had become a serpent, her girlfriend telling her that at the end of the day, it was her father who murdered her beautiful brother, her father who selfishly killed himself before the authorities could punish him for his crimes, and f.p jones was doing what he needed to do in order to keep his own family safe, something cheryl herself knew she had to do now that she was a serpent as well…

 

toni had pressed a kiss to her brow and told her that f.p jones was a hundred times the man clifford blossom ever was, and cheryl had been quick to agree.

 

“here, you left this out here.” sweet pea says, holding up cheryl’s red serpent jacket with a grin. cheryl takes it from him with a smile and carefully shrugs it on as he grins and wraps a gentle arm around cheryl’s shoulders. 

 

“you’re branded as southside scum now!” he crows, and cheryl rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest as fangs roars with laughter and pokes her cheek playfully.

 

“you’re never living it down, blossom.” he says simply, wincing slightly as he moves forward to hug her. he’s still suffering from the gunshot wound that almost killed him a month ago, still recovering slowly, but the fact that he’s alive is all that matters as far as toni is concerned.

 

almost losing fangs had been scary. fangs was more than just a brother to her, he was her confidant, the person she could talk to about _anything_ other than cheryl…sweet pea and fangs were two people she simply couldn’t lose in her life no matter what. life without them wouldn’t have much meaning…

 

cheryl reaches down to grip toni’s hand, fingers interlacing as f.p and jughead hold out bottles of beer to each of them. 

 

“a celebratory drink! to cheryl blossom!” f.p says, smiling at their interlaced hands before he raises his bottle. the boys do the same with a grin.

 

“to cheryl blossom!” they cheer, taking a sip of their beers. toni looks at cheryl affectionately and raises her bottle to the love of her life.

 

“to cheryl blossom.” she whispers, taking a sip and allowing the cool liquid to soothe her throat. cheryl smiles and leans in to press a kiss to her cheek before she looks down at her beer bottle apprehensively. toni bites back a grin. she knows cheryl’s tastes are more refined, that a beer bottle has likely never touched the lips of cheryl bombshell, yet here she was, enjoying one with a bunch of southside serpents…

 

god, just a year ago, this is something that toni would have scoffed at the mere idea of, yet here it was, happening right before them…

 

toni’s never been happier to be wrong.

 

cheryl takes a sip, her face instantly contorting in disgust before she swallows it and frowns.

 

“not used to cheap beer, eh?” f.p says with a laugh. cheryl shrugs.

 

“it’s not the worst thing i’ve tasted. i still haven’t washed out the taste of escargot from three years ago.” she says with a shiver. toni chuckles as f.p shakes his head in amusement.

 

“welcome to the family, kid.” f.p says roughly, taking another sip of his beer and nodding with a smile.

 

“you make it sound like we’re the mafia.” fangs grumbles. f.p laughs, and cheryl simply smiles.

 

“thank you, f.p. the serpents are my family now, and…i may not have done well with my last family, but this time…this time i’ll do it right. i promise.” cheryl says, head held high as f.p frowns.

 

“cheryl, you’re already doing an amazing job. you’re helping us build the speakeasy to make a new home for the serpents, you’ve helped us settle down here at the lakeside…you’re a serpent, kid, you have been for a long time now. so don’t worry about ‘doing it right’...the only monsters in the blossom family was your mother and father. don’t let what they did to you drag you down. you’re a good kid.” he says with a frown. cheryl is blinking back tears as she looks at toni, who leans up and presses a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

 

toni knows cheryl isn’t used to hearing praise, to having someone tell her she was a good person, or worthy of good things, and every time those tears brim in her girlfriend’s eyes, she wants nothing more than to hunt penelope blossom down and stab her eyes out. for her to put so much doubt into her daughter’s mind about her worth…what fucked up parent did that?

 

“he’s right, baby, you know he is.” she whispers encouragingly. cheryl purses her lips and nods once, squeezing toni’s hand as she exhales shakily. toni simply presses a kiss to her temple as jughead’s phone suddenly goes off. he pulls it out of his pocket and looks down at the message with a frown, his eyes scanning over the screen before he sighs.

 

“it’s veronica, archie’s bail money has been announced.” 

 

“how much?” f.p asks immediately. jughead swallows thickly. 

 

“two hundred thousand.” he murmurs. toni’s heart drops.

 

two hundred thousand dollars? fuck…archie’s poor father was probably freaking out right now…

 

“shit…” f.p runs his fingers through his hair, and jughead clenches his jaw and shakes his head.

 

“apparently fred only needs to pay ten percent to get him out, mayor mccoy is doing everything she can.” 

 

“yeah, that’s still a lot of money for fred to handle…” f.p says in a low voice. toni can tell the former serpent king wants to do something to help his best friend, but there’s nothing the serpents can do. they have their own problems right now, no permanent home and no money for themselves…

 

“there’s gotta be something we can do to prove archie’s innocent. if i can get some serpents to-.” jughead starts, but sweet pea raises his hand with an immediate scoff.

 

“do what, jones? we don’t owe archie andrews anything.” sweet pea says firmly, raising his bottle to his lips to take a drink. toni feels cheryl squeeze her hand as jughead looks at the boy with wide eyes, surprised by his outburst. 

 

“w-what? sweet pea, archie’s never done anything against the serpents-.”

 

“he’s never done anything to help us, either! or are you forgetting he used to work for hiram lodge, the man who has us in the current predicament we’re in?” sweet pea hisses, his fingers tightening on the beer bottle in his hand. jughead glares at him and takes a step forward. 

 

“he stood up for us when he learned that hiram was trying to take us down! you saw how he reacted when he learned that hiram was working with the ghoulies! you saw how mad he got when he found out cheryl and toni were kidnapped at his request!” he growls, his face turning red with rage, but sweet pea simply roll his eyes and drinks the rest of his beer with a shrug.

 

“do whatever you want, jughead. but count this serpent out. i’m not putting myself at risk by helping archie andrews.” he says stiffly, throwing the beer bottle into the fire and watching as it rises. jughead steps forward angrily, his fists clenched tightly but f.p grips his shoulder and pulls him back easily.

 

“calm down, jug.” he murmurs, avoiding his son’s eyes as he looks into the fire with a wince. jughead turns his glare to his father before he looks to fangs pleadingly.

 

“fangs-.”

 

“hey, no way, i’m not getting involved in anything that might get me shot at again, jughead.” he says, raising his hands and shaking his head furiously. toni knows she’s next, and sure enough, jughead looks at her now.

 

“toni, come on…” he whispers, his voice filled with desperation. toni bites down on her bottom lip in hesitation.

 

she’s never been close with archie andrews, it’s true, and truthfully, she had no idea if the guy was innocent or not. he _had_ been working for hiram lodge, someone who had tasked the ghoulies with kidnapping both her and cheryl just a month ago, so maybe part of her isn’t exactly down to help archie despite the fact that he was jughead’s friend…

 

it’s not only that, but it could be dangerous. toni didn’t want to get involved in anything that could put herself or cheryl in harm’s way, not again…

 

she simply bows her head and avoids jughead’s gaze, nothing but guilt rearing it’s ugly head inside her as she grips cheryl’s hand tightly, and jughead doesn’t say anything, his expression sour before he scoffs in disbelief and shakes his head.

 

“so much for the first law. ‘no serpent stands alone’, right? guess that doesn’t mean shit.” he hisses, and before toni can call him back, he turns on his heel and makes his way over to his bike.

 

“jug, come on!” f.p yells out, trying to get his son to come back, but jughead jones rips his beanie off his head and shoves his helmet on, his leg slamming down to kick the bike to life. he takes off in a fury, dirt kicking up off the ground from the tires before he’s disappearing from the lakeside in haste. toni swallows thickly and looks to sweet pea, who looks equally pissed off as he rolls his eyes and scratches the back of his head.

 

“whatever.” he grumbles, making his way to the lake, fangs following behind him with a sigh. f.p watches them go in defeat before he makes his way over to his trailer, leaving toni and cheryl alone by the fire.

 

toni looks up at her girlfriend, and is surprised to see cheryl is crying, tears falling down her cheeks as she looks down at toni in despair.

 

“why doesn’t sweet pea want to help archie, toni?” she croaks out. toni licks her lips before she takes cheryl’s hands in her own and presses a kiss to her knuckles.

 

“because sweet pea doesn’t like helping people he doesn’t consider his own…archie’s never done anything for us, cheryl. you can’t blame him for not wanting to stick his neck out for a guy who worked with our worst enemy…” she mumbles. cheryl purses her lips, but says nothing more as she pulls her hands out of toni’s hold gently. toni frowns, but before she can say anything, cheryl’s making her way to the lakeside after fangs and sweet pea, leaving toni to watch her go in confusion. 

 

_what the hell was that about?_

 

\----------------------

 

it’s a quiet night in thistlehouse. the only sound that echoes throughout the entire, almost completely bare house is the sound of the wind howling outside, the trees swaying with the strong force of air as cheryl leans down to press a kiss to her grandmother’s forehead.

 

“goodnight, nana rose.” 

 

“goodnight, dear.” nana rose’s voice is quiet, weak, and cheryl finds herself frowning as she stands tall and lets out a sigh before making her way out of the room, closing the light and the door behind her gently. 

 

she knows her nana rose isn’t getting any better. her sundowner’s syndrome was slowly beginning to take control now, and it won’t be long before she’s gone just like jason and her father are gone. the thought has her heart clenching and her chest seizing as she takes in a shuddering breath. without nana rose, cheryl would no longer have a legal guardian. what would happen to her? she’d have to enter the foster system, wouldn’t she? she can’t…she can’t leave thistlehouse behind, not when she has a life here with toni…

 

toni…who she was currently avoiding. 

 

cheryl sighs and twists her fingers together as she makes her way down to the kitchen. she knows toni is upstairs in her room, probably waiting for her to finish putting nana rose to bed. ever since this afternoon at the lakeside, cheryl’s been avoiding her girlfriend. not out of spite, but…out of fear. 

 

because she knows that in order to get toni and the serpents on jughead’s side, to get them to help archie…she needs to tell toni what happened at sweet water river the day before they met. she needs to tell toni that she tried to kill herself…that archie andrews saved her life and without him, toni wouldn’t have a girlfriend right now. 

 

and it terrifies her. she has no idea how toni will react, whether she’ll be mad that cheryl ever even thought of taking her own life, whether she’d cry and hold cheryl close, or worst of all…begin to doubt if cheryl was all there in the mind, would watch her every move obsessively in fear that she might attempt to take her own life once again…

 

it’s not something cheryl’s thought about since that day. not even when she was with held captive at the sisters of quiet mercy…thoughts of toni and of her friends are what pulled her through even her darkest days now. she just had a moment of _weakness_ , couldn’t handle the pain of not only losing jason, but discovering her father had brutally murdered her beautiful brother, had taken his own life to avoid being punished for his drug ring crimes. it was all _just too much…_

 

but she’s better now. she’s better at coping with her pain, better at dealing with her dark and difficult thoughts, because she _had toni._ she can’t lose that, but what if coming clean does cost her _everything_?

 

she pulls a tub of ice cream out of the freezer, a delicacy she was never allowed while her mother lived here. when toni had learned that her freezer was bare of anything sweet, she had grabbed cheryl’s hand and dragged her to the nearest grocery store, had bought four tubs of ice cream and demanded they spend the night eating at least one while they watched movies. 

 

she smiles down at the strawberry flavored tub as she grabs a spoon from the drawer and digs in. she hears the sound of soft feet padding onto the tiles, and she feels warm arms wrap around her from behind before toni’s voice echoes in her right ear.

 

“stealing ice cream without me, bombshell?” she whispers. cheryl bites back a smile, and tries to put on a brave face as she spins in the serpent’s arms and ignores her thundering heart. 

 

“i was going to bring it up.” she says, scooping some onto the spoon and holding it up to toni’s lips. the pink haired girl smiles and wraps her lips around the spoon, her eyes closing as a soft hum of appreciation escapes her.

 

“god, that shit’s good.” she muffles out around the cold cream in her mouth. cheryl smiles and turns around again to avoid her girlfriend’s gaze, her eyes dropping to the mass of pink in the tub in front of her. toni squeezes her waist before she lets her go and moves around the island counter they’re leaning against, her eyes boring into cheryl’s temple as the red haired girl refuses to look at her. 

 

“is nana rose okay?” toni asks in a low voice. cheryl sighs and begins scraping the ice cream with the spoon to distract herself.

 

“i think i need to hire lisa as a full time carer for her. we spoke about it the other day, but it needs to become a reality sooner rather than later. now that i have access to the money daddy left me...she’s getting worse, and there’s nothing i can do to help her. if she’s not looked after properly, i’m afraid she’ll leave us quicker than we’d like…the pain of losing her would hurt enough, but being thrown into the foster system…i’d like to avoid that for as long as possible.” cheryl mumbles, still not looking toni in the eyes.

 

“then you should do it.” toni says simply. cheryl nods once, still playing with the ice cream with the tip of her spoon before toni’s fingers suddenly close around her wrist.

 

“you wanna tell me why you’ve been avoiding me since this afternoon?” cheryl takes in a shuddering breath, but she still can’t bring herself to look up as she shakes her head.

 

“i’m not avoiding you.” she grumbles guiltily. toni scoffs, her grip on cheryl’s wrist tightening slightly until her nails are digging into the flesh.

 

“i beg to differ. you won’t even look me in the eyes right now. what’s going on, cheryl?” she asks, her voice soft, but also filled with sincere despair over what’s causing her girlfriend’s pain. she wants to know what she’s done wrong, cheryl can tell, and she wants nothing more than for there _to be nothing wrong_ , but…

 

archie andrews saved her life. and if the serpents can do something to help him, cheryl _wants_ to be part of that…

 

“t.t…maybe we can save this discussion for tomorrow?” she whispers breathlessly, blinking back tears as toni looks at her sadly. she can’t do it today, not on top of everything else…today was a day of celebration. she was officially a serpent, had received the mark that made her one forever…

 

the pink haired girl watches her carefully before she finally sighs and gives her a simple nod.

 

“i’ll hold you to that, bombshell…” she mutters. cheryl lets out a sigh of relief and bites down on her bottom lip before she steps forward and grips toni’s hips, pulling her closer until they’re flush against each other. toni’s breath hitches at the action before she smiles up at cheryl adoringly. 

 

“i’m officially a serpent for life now.” cheryl whispers. toni smiles, but the worry in her eyes is plain to see as she licks her lips and nods slowly.

 

“you’re officially a serpent for life now.” she repeats with a deep sigh. cheryl leans closer, their faces inches apart as she wraps her arms around toni’s neck gently. 

 

“are you upset?” she murmurs. toni sighs against her lightly. 

 

“no. scared more than anything. i don’t want you to get hurt.” cheryl pulls back and tucks a finger under her chin at her words, forcing her to look up as a soft sigh escapes her.

 

“i worry about you getting hurt, too. i have from the moment we became friends to something more. at least now we’re in this together. you fall, i fall.” toni bites down on her bottom lip before she leans up and presses a kiss to the corner of cheryl’s mouth.

 

“i better avoid all the cracks in the pavement, then. i’m not going down, not if it brings you down with me.” cheryl can’t help but smile at that.

 

“ditto, t.t.” 

 

they fall into a comfortable silence, simply wrapped up in each other’s embrace, the both of them alternating between playing with each other’s hands and hair for a few moments before toni looks into cheryl’s eyes and inhales deeply.

 

“are you sure you don’t want to talk about what’s on your mind, cheryl?” she whispers. cheryl licks her lips and simply shakes her head.

 

“tomorrow, toni. i promise…today has been heavy enough without adding more chaos and despair on top of it…” she whispers back. toni frowns, but she nods and gives her girlfriend a small smile, and cheryl's so, so thankful that toni is so understanding...god, she never pushes, is always so patient with cheryl despite the many outbursts, despite the impulsive decisions and actions she's made...

 

“do we have to go to school tomorrow?” toni grumbles, pulling cheryl out of her thoughts, the red haired girl chuckles and presses a kiss to her girlfriend's brow.

 

“i have a 4.0 grade point average, toni. i may be a serpent, but i’m not losing that.” 

 

“i know, i just…hate all the staring. everyone thinks i corrupted you or something.” toni murmurs, the frown on her face only increasing, and cheryl raises an eyebrow.

 

“corrupted me? if anyone’s done any corrupting, it’s me. you’ve become ten times sassier since you and i started this blossoming romance.” she teases, her fingers brushing up toni’s sides gently, and toni chuckles and shrugs once.

 

“we kind of corrupted each other, didn’t we? but sass isn’t something you notice much compared to a red leather serpent jacket.”

 

“mmm, they’re just jealous they can’t pull off red leather, cha cha.” cheryl says with a flip of her hair, and toni bursts out in laughter, the look in her eyes filled with love as she looks up at cheryl with a raised eyebrow.

 

“now there’s a nickname i haven’t heard in a while.” she teases, but her expression softens, and she reaches out a hand to brush her fingers over cheryl’s cheekbone lightly before she leans in and kisses her ever so softly, cheryl melting into her touch before she grips toni’s waist and pulls her in closer.

 

tomorrow…tomorrow can be the day for tears and confessions that will probably leave both girls heartbroken, but for now…

 

god for now, she just wants _this._

 

toni in her arms, kissing her so beautifully, so tenderly, so _lovingly…_

 

archie andrews saved her life, but toni topaz gave her _a reason to keep on living._

 

she can wait. the heartbreaking stuff can wait. for now…for she simply wants to be.

 

“i think we should take this upstairs, t.t.” she breathes against her girlfriend’s lips, and toni grins against her before she nips at her bottom lip playfully.

 

“i dunno, i like the idea of fucking you on the kitchen counter-.”

 

“god, t.t. hush. so vulgar...”


	2. we're two halves of one whole now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow this chapter is fucking looooooong. that's why it's taken so long to come out, lol. this is super angsty in the beginning, but super fluffy at the end! trigger warning for suicide mentions, so please read at your own risk! also, there's smut at the end cause i can't help myself, so if you don't like it, skip the ending of the chapter!
> 
> i hope you guys enjoy this, like i said...it's long, lmao. i think just a little over twelve thousand words? yikes. please leave comments letting me know what you think. i've got some fucking AMAZING storylines set up for this, because unlike the writers, i like things making sense in my stories, so a lot of shit from the previous story is gonna pop up in this again! i'm so excited to keep writing for this fic!
> 
> okay, enough rambling, read on! peace!

the sound of birds chirping loudly outside the window of cheryl’s bedroom is what wakes toni in the morning. she groans and blinks rapidly with a wince, looking around as the birds only get louder as she finally opens her eyes properly. she looks outside to see the sun hasn’t fully risen yet, is just below the horizon with the sky turning lighter with each passing minute. the breeze that comes in through the window is cool to her bare skin, goosebumps immediately rising as she turns over onto her side and comes face to face with the most beautiful sight she’s ever seen. 

 

cheryl’s eyes are fluttering slightly as they always do when she’s in a deep sleep, the light from the rising sun lighting her face enough for toni to see the slight frown furrowing her brow, her lips parted slightly as she sleeps soundly with her red hair falling around her face in soft curls. 

 

god, toni’s pretty sure she’ll never be able to get used to waking up next to cheryl blossom. how beautiful she was in the early hours of morning, her skin slightly marked and her nose wrinkling in her sleep as she hugged her pillow or toni, whichever one she was holding, closer to her body before she woke…

 

she could spend hours watching her, and she feels slightly creepy doing so, but she can’t help it. she’s so in love with the girl before her, any chance she gets just to look at her is a chance toni savors and takes without hesitation, especially when it’s moments where she’s peaceful, just like this.

 

toni eases herself out of the bed and makes her way to the bathroom, yawning tiredly as she does. she knows cheryl has something important to tell her, and toni had spent half the night awake wondering about it despite how exhausted she was. she couldn’t stop worrying about what it was that was bothering cheryl, but she didn’t want to pressure her or force her to tell her. she wanted cheryl to tell her in her own time…

 

but what was on her girlfriend’s mind? toni has no idea. 

 

she finishes off in the bathroom and makes her way back into the bedroom, curling up under the covers and yawning once again.

 

it doesn’t hit her that something’s wrong until she hears a soft whine from beside her. 

 

she turns onto her side to see the red haired girl’s brow furrow, another whine escaping her, and toni finds herself frowning in concern as she inches closer and brushes her fingers over cheryl’s cheek.

 

“cher?” she croaks out tiredly. cheryl whimpers a little more loudly this time, and it’s only now that toni notices the sweat on her brow and her chest, notices how much she’s shaking, notices how much she’s fidgeting against the sheets, and it’s all signs toni has seen a hundred times before-

 

shit.

 

she’s having a nightmare-

 

“cheryl, baby, come on, wake up!” toni grips her shoulder and shakes it gently, concern ripping through her as she sits up quickly, and cheryl chokes on a sob loudly and tries to push toni away, her eyes still closed, her body still thrashing-

 

“cheryl!” toni shakes her harder as her heart pounds in her ears, pulling her into her lap with a grunt, and cheryl’s eyes snap open before she lets out a blood curdling scream, eyes wide and filled with fear.

 

“shh, shh! it’s me, cher, it’s me!” toni wraps her arms around her girlfriend and pulls her close, brushing her hair away from her sweat soaked forehead as cheryl begins crying loudly. her whole body is trembling against toni as her hands fly up to grip toni’s arms around her chest, nails digging into her forearms harshly. 

 

“t-toni-.”

 

“shh, shh, breathe…” toni whispers into her ear softly, her fingers raking through cheryl’s sweat matted hair. 

 

this has happened a number of times since toni had all but moved in to thistlehouse almost two months ago. it's gotten to a point now where lisa, nana rose's caretaker, has long stopped running up the stairs in a panic to check on them, knows by now that the sound of cheryl's screams are because of the dreams that haunt her. she knows cheryl’s nightmares consist of the horrible, tragic things that have happened to her. if it wasn’t dreams about jason’s death and his body resting in the morgue, blue and cold and unmoving, it was dreams about nick st. clair and his attack on her, his hands on her unwilling body, and if it wasn’t that, it was the torture she endured at the sisters of quiet mercy, the cold bite of an ice bath and the electric shock of conversion therapy…

 

“shh…” toni blinks back her own tears and presses kiss after kiss to cheryl’s sweaty forehead, the taste of salt hitting her tongue, but she doesn’t care. cheryl’s breathing hard against her, soft whimpers escaping her as tears fall down her cheeks in thick streams. 

 

toni’s no stranger to her own nightmares…ones of her parents mangled bodies after their accident, or ones of her uncle’s enraged face as his fingers had closed around her throat and had almost choked the life out of her…but she’s managed to rise from those nightmares in a gasping, sweaty fit quietly, able to blink away her tears without waking her girlfriend who had her own troubles, her own nightmares to battle…

 

she knows what to do to bring cheryl back. for cheryl, it’s touch, fingers brushing her hair back or toni’s lips pressing against her skin, the warmth of her body reminding cheryl that she wasn’t alone. for toni, it’s the simple sight of cheryl right beside her that brings her out of her nightmares. 

 

a good twenty minutes pass before cheryl finally relaxes in her arms, her breathing even and her tears drying as she leans into toni in exhaustion and closes her eyes, inhaling deeply. toni kisses her temple and sinks back against the pillows, pulling cheryl down against her as she does.

 

“are you okay?” toni croaks out. cheryl suddenly shifts her hands under toni’s shirt, her nails digging into the skin of toni’s stomach and causing the pink haired girl to wince slightly at the pain. she purses her lips and nods before looking up at toni sadly.

 

“i’m sorry, toni-.”

 

“no, it’s okay, baby. i’m just worried about you.” toni whispers. cheryl’s bottom lip trembles as she shakes her head.

 

“it was just a nightmare, t.t. i’m okay.” she gives her a weak smile, and toni sighs before she leans down and kisses cheryl’s lips as softly as possible. 

 

cheryl’s being distant, has been since yesterday afternoon when sweet pea had told jughead he wasn’t willing to help archie, and toni doesn’t understand why. she has a feeling that whatever cheryl has to tell her has to do with the red haired boy, but she has no idea what connection archie would have with cheryl. the boy had been absent when toni and the others had rescued cheryl from the sisters of quiet mercy, and yes, he had been upset when he had discovered hiram was responsible for her and cheryl’s kidnapping at the hands of the ghoulies, but other than that…archie had nothing to do with cheryl…

 

did he? 

 

“cheryl, what’s going on? you’ve been distant since yesterday afternoon, and now you’re having a nightmare…talk to me, please? let me help you.” toni says softly, brushing her fingers through cheryl’s hair with an encouraging smile lifting her lips. tears fill cheryl’s eyes once more, and she chews on her bottom lip in hesitation before she leans in to kiss toni’s lips, her own hard and eager against the pink haired serpent’s. toni returns the kiss just as passionately, winces as cheryl’s nails dig into her stomach once more before she pulls away and rests her forehead against toni’s with a harsh pant.

 

“what time is it?” she breathes. toni swallows thickly and reaches for her phone on the bedside table, hitting the button on the side to light it up.

 

“almost six thirty.” toni mumbles, smiling at her phone’s wallpaper, which is a photo of cheryl hugging toni from behind, the both of them grinning widely in mid laughter, before she turns to look at cheryl with a smile. cheryl still has her eyes on toni, and she purses her lips before she swallows loudly and leans in to brush her lips against toni’s ever so lightly.

 

“can we go somewhere?” she whispers against her lips. toni frowns, her fingers reaching up to brush up and down cheryl’s sides before she finally nods.

 

“yeah…but we have to be back before eight so we can get ready for school.” toni mumbles. cheryl nods slowly, but toni smiles and slides out from under her girlfriend, holding her hand out for cheryl to take.

 

they have plenty of time, toni’s not worried, and as far as she’s concerned, she’s not exactly excited to be going to school, so whatever cheryl needs, toni’s happy to do. this is what being in a relationship is about: compromise and support, two things toni’s more than happy to give to the girl she loves.

 

“where to, bombshell?” she asks. cheryl sits up on her knees and takes toni’s hand before she wraps her arms around toni’s waist and pulls her in close, her lips pressing against toni’s pulse point in a gentle kiss.

 

“sweetwater river.” she whispers against her skin. 

 

toni freezes against her.

 

sweetwater river? toni’s pretty sure cheryl hasn’t been there since the day she rode out on the boat with jason, the day he disappeared…the day he was kidnapped by mustang and thrown into the basement of the whyte wyrm, only to be murdered by his father days later…

 

what on earth would compel her to want to go the place where her worst nightmare came true?

 

“cher, are you sure you wanna go there?” toni asks firmly. cheryl simply nods against her, nuzzling her nose into toni’s neck and hugging her closer, and toni hesitates before she swallows the lump in her throat and nods.

 

“okay. let’s go then.” toni pulls away from her girlfriend, walking over to the closet to grab both their serpent jackets for warmth. she hands cheryl her bright red one, watches as the red head shrugs it on before she does the same with her own, and even though toni’s in sweat pants and a tank top, and cheryl’s in a nightgown, they grip each other’s hands and make their way to the entrance of thistlehouse. 

 

toni grabs the keys to her bike off the table next to the door and grabs a helmet, passing it to cheryl before grabbing the other one beside it. cheryl opens the door as they step out into the cool spring air, the both of them making their way to toni’s bike still hand in hand. 

 

toni swings a leg over her bike, waits for cheryl to do the same as she wraps her arms around toni’s waist and rests her cheek on toni’s back. toni shoves her helmet on and kickstarts the bike to life before she peels out of the driveway loudly, making her way to sweetwater river with cheryl’s grip on her tightening with each passing minute. 

 

toni doesn’t know why cheryl wants to go there, but she’s not about to question her girlfriend’s decisions. if cheryl wants to go to sweetwater river, then that’s where toni will take her, it’s as simple as that.

 

compromise and support.

 

toni would give cheryl the world if she could, and even though she can’t, she’ll try her goddamn hardest to give her something as close to it as possible. 

 

she’s pretty sure sweetwater river doesn’t hold any good memories for cheryl. it’s the spot where she last saw jason, the place where he disappeared, the place where his body washed up with a bullet hole in his forehead…it seems strange that that’s where cheryl wants to go right now, but maybe it will help her, maybe it’ll be good for her to go to the place where she last saw her twin brother alive…

 

_she must’ve dreamt of jason. that’s why she wants to do this._

 

the drive is short, the sun truly beginning to rise now, it’s orange rays peeking over the horizon as they pull up to the banks of sweetwater river. the sight before her is breathtaking. toni’s always appreciated the beauty of sweetwater river, the way the water flowed through the riverbanks almost seamlessly, the forest surrounding the river filled with green trees and beautiful chirping birds. there’s over a dozen photos of the place on her instagram, photos she’s taken with her phone, and some she’s taken with her actual camera, the photos still not developed because toni hasn’t had the time or money to do so. she’s only been here a handful of times herself, came here once with her parents as a kid…

 

this was her parent’s last location before their death as well, an anniversary picnic planned by her father, just the two of them celebrating the love they had for each other, not knowing that they would never reach their destination and that they were leaving their ten year old daughter behind.

 

_focus, toni. this is about cheryl…_

 

toni swallows down the lump in her throat and slows her bike down, dirt flying up from the tires pushing through as she hits the brakes and comes to a stop. she kicks the stand down and turns the engine off, and she feels cheryl’s weight leave the bike before she removes her helmet and swings her leg off it as well. cheryl takes her helmet off and rests it on the bike, her eyes frozen on the river in front of her that's at a quiet still, the sound of the water barely splashing on the rocks echoing around them. there’s tears in her eyes, toni can see it from here, and she sighs and rests her helmet on the handle and makes her way over to her girlfriend.

 

“cher…” she makes her way forward and reaches out to grip her girlfriend’s hand tightly. cheryl jumps slightly at the contact before she turns to face toni, her tears falling as she closes her eyes and faces the river once more. 

 

“toni, there’s something i have to tell you.” cheryl breathes, her fingers squeezing toni’s for comfort. toni waits patiently, moves in closer, and cheryl drags her closer to the rocks on the river bank, toni following her blindly in confusion, but without question. 

 

cheryl eventually settles down on top of one of the rocks, sitting down and dragging toni down beside her, and the pink haired serpent obeys and sits as close to her girlfriend as possible, their thighs touching and one arm wrapping around cheryl’s waist as soon as they’re both settled.

 

a few minutes pass, cheryl crying silently with her hand clasped in toni’s before she exhales shakily and looks out at the flowing water of the river once more. 

 

“this is the rock i sat upon when dilton doiley found me after jason left.” cheryl croaks out. toni inhales sharply, her arm around cheryl’s waist squeezing in her surprise at cheryl’s statement.

 

toni can almost picture cheryl curled up and trembling on the rock they sit upon, mascara running down her cheeks as she looked out over the river, playing the perfect part of panicked daughter despite the fact that she knew jason was safe on the other side of sweet water river…

 

except he wasn’t. not that cheryl had known that…

 

god, how guilty must cheryl have felt? to have played the part of worried sister so perfectly when truthfully, she had every reason to _truly_ be worried when jason’s plan to leave riverdale with polly had fallen apart? when he had been kidnapped by mustang, thrown into the basement of the whyte wyrm and murdered by his father mere days after his attempted escape?

 

why does cheryl want to come back to the place that caused her so much pain? 

 

“cher…why are we here?” toni asks, more in wonder than exasperation, and she’s glad that cheryl picks up on it when she smiles and turns to face toni. 

 

“because there’s something i have to tell you.” she whispers again. toni purses her lips and looks at her girlfriend, sees the pain and anguish in her eyes, and it’s heartbreaking to witness. she hates seeing cheryl like this, has seen it too many times already in the five or so months she’s known her…

 

“what is it, cheryl?” toni breathes. cheryl takes in a few shuddering breaths, more tears falling before she looks out to the river and forces herself to say the words she clearly doesn’t want to say.

 

“toni, the day before we met, about a month after my father killed himself, i…i lost hope. and i did something stupid.” cheryl whispers, her eyes wide and her bottom lip trembling. toni frowns, not sure how to interpret those words, what to think of them, so she waits patiently for cheryl to continue talking, which she does a few minutes later, her grip on toni’s hand tightening once more. 

 

“losing jason, finding out my father was responsible, watching mother walk around like a ghost of her former self…i felt useless, toni. i felt like there was nothing…nothing here for me anymore. nothing to live for. and the pain of that was agonizing. even worse than the pain of losing jason. i thought about it for days, it was all i could think about, it took over my mind like a cancer, and i…i was so _tired._ after days of battling the worst thoughts, i…succumbed. i made a decision, one that haunts me to this day. i…i came out to sweetwater river, when the lake was frozen over…and all i could think about was getting to jason. i wanted to see him again so badly, t.t. i m-missed him so much, i just wanted to see him…” cheryl’s crying now, her words slightly slurred as she swallows down her tears and closes her eyes to allow the tears clinging to her eyelashes to fall. 

 

toni’s still not quite sure what cheryl is trying to say-

 

“i beat the ice with my fists as hard as i could…god, i begged for it to give so it could take me down into it’s frozen depths to join jason, to put me where i belonged…with him. and i could hear veronica and betty and jughead and archie yelling at me from the riverbank to stop, to come to the shore, begging me not to do what i wanted to do more than anything, but i just wanted to see jason so badly, toni…” 

 

toni’s heart drops as a realization slowly sweeps through her mind.

 

no…no, no, no, no, cheryl’s not saying that, she’s not saying what toni thinks she’s saying, no, it can’t be true, it _can’t be-_

 

“cheryl…are you saying you tried…tried to k-kill yourself?” toni manages to choke out, unable to even get the words out, the thought itself eating at her mind and making her heart ache and her chest pound painfully-

 

cheryl doesn’t answer, but the look in her eyes is enough confirmation. it’s pure devastation and grief, and a million other emotions…guilt and regret and despair…

 

cheryl tried to kill herself. cheryl…cheryl tried to kill herself, she came to this river and tried to drown herself, to end her life, and if she had succeeded, toni wouldn’t have her right now, would never have met her, wouldn’t have cheryl blossom in her life right now-

 

no, no, no, _no, no-_

 

it repeats in her head like a mantra, taking over her brain utterly as the word cycles through like an incantation.

 

it hurts. it hurts to think about, and panic is beginning to rise in her despite the fact that cheryl is right here beside her, the proof that her suicide attempt didn’t succeed-

 

_but she tried it, she tried it, she tried to kill herself-_

 

the day before they met. toni could’ve lost her just _a day_ before they fucking met-

 

toni’s distraught. she’s crying before she can stop herself, sobbing loudly as she grips cheryl and pulls her as close as possible, and cheryl lets her, her own tears falling and her own cries escaping her chest and echoing around sweetwater river as she grips toni like a lifeline, nails digging into the pink haired serpent’s jacket. 

 

_she tried to kill herself, she tried to take her own life-_

 

what…what drove cheryl to do something like this? 

 

_don’t be stupid, you know the answer…_

 

toni buries her nose into cheryl’s hair and breathes in her scent, trying to anchor herself to the fact that she’s here, she’s right here and she’s breathing and she’s okay, she’s _alive…_

 

losing jason, losing her father…discovering her father is the one who murdered jason…oh god, oh god, why wasn’t toni there for her, why wasn’t toni a part of her life yet, _one fucking day’s difference_ -

 

_hey, you can’t be mad at yourself for something you can’t control…_

 

but she can’t help it. she fucking feels guilty for not being there, for not helping pull cheryl out of that dark place, a dark place where she considered fucking _killing herself_ , ending her life-

 

_the day before they met._

 

she could’ve died. toni could’ve never met her, she could’ve lost her soulmate, her other half, the love of her life-

 

“toni, p-please listen to me.” cheryl breathes, pulling away from her girlfriend and cradling toni’s face in her hands. toni isn’t sure if she can hear anymore, isn’t sure if she’s capable of taking in anymore pain.

 

cheryl could’ve died.

 

cheryl is looking at her in a desperation to get her to listen, doe eyes wide and panicked, so toni forces herself to swallow the lump in her throat, forces herself to breathe in deeply and sniffs away her tears, focuses her bloodshot eyes on the red haired girl in front of her.

 

“there’s a reason i’m telling you this, toni…b-because the ice broke and i fell through-.” toni whimpers, nails digging into cheryl’s wrists, but cheryl keeps talking, unable to stop herself now that she’s started. 

 

“and all i could feel was fire. because the water filled my lungs and the cold of the water hit my skin like daggers, and for the briefest moment…i thought i saw jason reaching for me.” cheryl’s expression turns to one of panic, her throat bobbing as she swallows down her tears, and toni bites back a whine as cheryl leans in and rests her forehead against toni’s softly.

 

“but then someone grabbed me…someone grabbed me and pulled me out of the water. and before i knew it…” cheryl’s voice is so soft, and the smallest of smiles lights up her face as she brushes her thumbs over toni’s cheeks. 

 

“before i knew it, i was looking up into archie andrews’s face as he smiled down at me in relief.” cheryl breathes, her eyes glazing over with the memory.

 

the air whistles down toni’s throat painfully as she sucks in a sharp breath.

 

_archie…archie andrews-_

 

“he lifted me into his arms and carried me to the riverbank with betty and jughead and veronica by his side…he saved my life, toni. he pulled me out of the water and resuscitated me, breathed new life into me. if it wasn’t for him and the others…i would’ve succumbed to the darkness. jason would’ve taken me down to the frozen depths of sweet water river with him…” cheryl whispers, her nails digging into the back of toni’s neck as she cups the skin and kneads it in her palm affectionately. 

 

toni’s finding it very difficult to breathe right now.

 

archie…archie saved cheryl’s life. he’s the reason she’s sitting beside her, the reason she’s alive…

 

fuck-

 

“remind me to kiss his feet when i see him next.” toni manages to gasp out. cheryl chuckles under her breath and bumps her forehead against toni’s again, who grips cheryl’s elbows and pulls her in closer. 

 

“there’s something else you can do for him instead, t.t…” she says softly. toni frowns, her fingers reaching up to brush across cheryl’s jawline before it hits her what cheryl’s asking for.

 

she’s been weird since yesterday afternoon, when sweet pea had told jughead that he wasn’t going to help archie…

 

since _toni_ said she wasn’t going to help archie…

 

“god…god, cheryl, this is why you’ve been acting weird? because we said we wouldn’t help archie?” she asks through her hiccups of tears, trying to focus on the topic at hand right now and not her girlfriend's suicide attempt... 

 

_cheryl tried to kill herself..._

 

cheryl purses her lips and nods against her.

 

“he needs our help, toni, and god, he deserves it, he saved my life-.”

 

“i know, i…fuck, of course we’ll help him, of course, he…he saved your life, cheryl, if it wasn’t for him…” toni trails off, closing her eyes and willing the thought of a life where archie andrews didn’t save cheryl blossom at sweetwater river away…

 

there’s no question in her mind right now, no hesitation.

 

“i’ll help him. whatever jughead needs to prove he’s innocent, i’ll help. and i’ll get fangs and sweet pea on it, too. we’re gonna help him, cheryl, i promise.” toni whispers, fingers brushing over pale skin lightly. cheryl lets out a groan of relief and smashes her lips against toni’s, a whine escaping the pink haired girl as the tears clinging to her eyelashes fall down her cheeks. 

 

she can’t think of doing anything else but helping him now. how could she not know that archie essentially saved the love of her life? how could she not know…

 

“thank you, t.t.” cheryl breathes against her lips, pulling away from the kiss and smiling at her girlfriend in adoration.

 

_you need to talk about this, you need to-_

 

“cheryl, i…fuck, i don’t know what to say…” toni says truthfully, her fingers still biting into cheryl’s skin to prove to herself that her girlfriend is still in front of her, still breathing, still _living…_

 

cheryl tried to kill herself…

 

“i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner, t.t…i was so scared of how you’d react…i still am. i don’t want you to think i’m capable of doing something like that again because i’m not, toni. i swear to you, i…i had a moment of weakness, of hopelessness, and i felt like there was nothing else i could do. i just missed jason so much…and i felt so alone. but i don’t feel that way anymore, not in the slightest.” cheryl tells her in a rush, her eyes filled with worry as they roam over toni’s face. 

 

_she tried to kill herself-_

 

“i understand, i d-do, but cheryl…my heart is so fucking broken right now, the fact that you f-felt like that…god, i’m so sorry i wasn’t there for you-.” toni’s crying again, her chest aching and her head pounding from all the tears she’s shed as cheryl looks at her in surprise before shaking her head vigorously.

 

“what? t.t, no, you didn’t even know me back then! none of this is your fault-.”

 

“i k-know, but i just c-can’t stop thinking that i wasn’t there! fuck, it was one day, cheryl! one fucking day’s difference, i…cheryl, i love you so much, please, please know that, i love you more than i’ve ever loved anything in my life. you’re everything to me, cher, i…fuck, i never want you to feel like that again.” toni begs, hands gripping cheryl’s hair to pull her closer, legs moving to rest on either side of her girlfriend until chery’s all but sitting in her lap.

 

she needs her to know, she needs her to _know-_

 

cheryl’s eyes widen, and she cups toni’s face in her hands and kisses her, lips insistent and eager against toni’s own, and toni’s hands move to cheryl’s back to pull her closer until she’s straddling the pink haired serpent, a gasp of surprise escaping her as toni deepens the kiss desperately.

 

 _she needs her to know-_

 

“toni, stop.” cheryl breathes, pulling away from her and forcing toni’s head up to look her in the eyes. toni whines, scrabbling to kiss her once more, but cheryl grips her chin tightly and shakes her head.

 

“i know, toni. god, i know, i feel the exact same way about you. i’m in a better place, i promise, and i will never, _ever_ do what i did that day ever again. i’m…i’m not alone anymore, and i know that.” 

 

cheryl tried to kill herself-

 

“ch-cher…” 

 

“shh…i’m here, toni…” cheryl pulls her girlfriend against her chest, fingers massaging her scalp as toni digs her nails into cheryl’s back and just…cries. 

 

she hates herself for reacting like this, because _fuck_ , she should be comforting cheryl right now, the girl just fucking told her something so dark, so important, so emotionally baring, and all toni can think about is the fact that _cheryl tried to kill herself._

 

if she had succeeded…

 

the world could of lost its brightest fucking light, and toni could’ve lost…

 

“i’m s-sorry, i j-just…the thought of l-losing you, the thought of never h-having m-met you, cheryl-.”

 

“shh, i know…it’s okay.” cheryl murmurs into her ear, soft kisses pressed to the skin beneath it before she’s resting her chin on top of toni’s head once more, fingers still scratching her scalp reassuringly. 

 

what if she tried to do it again?

 

toni’s heart palpitates, a shiver running up her spine as she pulls away and looks up into cheryl’s eyes to see them filled with sadness.

 

_what if she tried to do it again?_

 

“p-please, cheryl, if you _ever_ feel like that again-.”

 

“toni-.”

 

“no, listen to me, please!” toni interrupts desperately, hands reaching to grip cheryl’s and intertwine them, squeezing them almost painfully as she looks into cheryl’s eyes.

 

“if you ever feel like that again, _talk to me._ don’t bottle it up, don’t…just talk to me, cheryl, please. let me do everything i can to help you get out of that dark place, let me be here for you, because this…what we have, it’s more than a relationship. you’re…you’re my soulmate, cheryl, you need to know that. we’re two halves of one whole now, and as much as we’re independent, as much as we can survive on our own two feet after all the fucking shit we’ve been through, we can’t _operate_ without the other. we’re cogs in a machine, we work _together_ because that’s what we were _made for._ so please, cheryl…promise me right here, right now, that if you ever go to that dark place again, you’ll let me reach in and drag you out, even if it risks pulling me down with you. you fall, i fall, remember?” toni echoes from last night through gritted teeth with passion and determination. cheryl takes in her words with wide eyes, her thumbs brushing the apples of toni’s cheekbones before she smiles so, so softly…

 

“i’m not going down, not if it brings you down with me.” cheryl repeats toni’s words from last night breathlessly, her eyes closing as she nods to herself once. toni’s grip on her waist tightens. 

 

“promise me…” she says firmly. cheryl’s eyes snap open, boring into toni’s for almost a full minute before she leans in and kisses her gently.

 

“i promise, babe.” she whispers against her lips. 

 

toni pulls her in until their chests meet, lips feverish against cheryl’s as she tries to pour every ounce of love, of affection, of adoration she feels for the red head into this one action.

 

cheryl tried to kill herself.

 

archie andrews saved her life.

 

_that boy isn’t touching a jail cell, not if i can fucking help it._

 

\---------------------

 

“jughead!”

 

cheryl watches with a smile as jughead jones spins around at the sound of his name, a frown furrowing his brow as his grip on betty cooper’s hand loosens.

 

soft feet padding onto the ground a little harder, a little faster beside her echoes for the briefest moment before pink hair flies past her to come to a stop in front of jughead, who watches toni topaz apprehensively with a clench of his jaw.

 

“yeah?” he grunts out, clearing still harboring anger towards the serpent before him over her refusal to help him yesterday. toni crosses her arms over her chest and huffs as cheryl comes to a stop beside her sheepishly.

 

“whatever you’re doing to help archie, i’m in.” toni says firmly.

 

jughead’s eyes widen, and he exchanges a glance with betty, who looks equally surprised before she looks to cheryl as if waiting for an explanation.

 

“why the change of heart, topaz?” jughead asks with a raised eyebrow despite the hopeful look in his eyes. 

 

betty’s eyes haven’t left cheryl, and she can practically see nancy drew connecting the dots right before her eyes as betty looks back and forth between the two lovers with narrowed eyes that quickly turn soft as realization dawns on her.

 

she looks to cheryl sympathetically, and cheryl simply shrugs.

 

an unspoken confession between the two of them that doesn’t need words. they are cousins, after all…

 

toni clenches her jaw before she shakes her head.

 

“doesn’t matter. i’ll get sweet pea and fangs on board as well, and if the three of us are on it, then everyone else will fall in line. consider the serpents at archie’s beck and call. whatever it takes to prove he’s innocent and keep him out of a jail cell, we’ll do it.” toni says with determination, and cheryl finds herself staring at her girlfriend in awe.

 

god, how utterly and devastatingly _beautiful_ it was to be in love with toni topaz…

 

cheryl hadn’t anticipated the reaction she got this morning, and frankly, she hadn’t seen toni that hysterical since they had been kidnapped by the ghoulies. it’s something that cheryl had vowed would never happen again, and yet it had, and it breaks her heart to remember the look on toni’s face as cheryl had uttered those words, had confessed the sinful act she had done all those months ago that still cuts a deep scar in her heart…

 

a moment of weakness that led to so much tragedy…if she had died, toni would be left all alone in the world right now…god, it hurts cheryl to even think about it.

 

_if there’s one thing, god, one thing that makes me happy i survived, it’s **her…**_

 

jughead purses his lips, but nods once and reaches out to grip toni’s shoulder.

 

“archie’s getting out today, his dad paid the bail money. he’s meeting us at pop’s after school to go over everything, meet us there, alright? hopefully we can come up with something…if you can talk with sweet pea and fangs now, try to get them to help us so they can meet us there as well, i’d appreciate it, toni.” he says resolutely. 

 

toni hesitates, worry immediately flooding her eyes as she looks at cheryl, who grips her hand and brings it to her lips to press a kiss to her knuckles with a smile.

 

“toni, we talked about this…” she murmurs.

 

this…this was part of the reason why cheryl didn’t want to tell toni. she knew the pink haired serpent would be afraid to leave cheryl alone for even a moment, would stick to her side like glue, and even though cheryl wouldn’t exactly mind spending every waking and sleeping moment with her girlfriend by her side, she doesn’t want toni to do that out of _fear._ she can’t have toni spending sleepless nights watching cheryl to make sure she was breathing…she can’t have toni watching her out of the corner of her eye at every twitch of her hand or shaky exhale out of fear that she would grab the nearest sharp object and jab it into her neck to end it all…toni didn’t deserve to live a life in fear of losing the person she loved. cheryl had divulged this to her as they held each other close at sweetwater river this morning, but she knows it’s going to take a while for toni to truly take those words in…

 

“i know…i know, i’m sorry.” toni squeezes her hand, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath in before she licks her lips and looks at cheryl once more.

 

“i’ll be back.” 

 

“if you don’t make it back before class, then i’ll see you at lunch.” cheryl says with a smile. toni visibly winces, and cheryl sighs and leans in to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

 

“go, t.t. those knucklehead brothers of yours are going to take a while to get through to, and class starts in ten minutes.” she murmurs, pulling back and brushing her thumb across toni’s cheek gently. the pink haired serpent purses her lips, but nods and leans up to kiss cheryl properly before she’s walking away, glancing back at her girlfriend every few steps anxiously as she does.

 

_she’s the purest form of kindness and good, cheryl…you lucky, lucky girl…_

 

“you told her about archie saving your life, didn’t you?” cheryl jumps in surprise and turns to see betty and jughead still standing in front of her, both of them looking at her with sympathetic eyes that cheryl, quite frankly, hates the sight of.

 

_it’s because they care, cheryl…_

 

god, she’s so not _used_ to this…to people caring about her so much…

 

“yes, i did. as you can probably imagine, she didn’t take the news too well. we spent the entire morning crying in each other’s arms at sweetwater river. it’s a miracle we got here on time, but at least now she’s willing to help archie.” cheryl says airily, crossing her arms over her chest and raising her head high nonchalantly as she wills away the burning itch in her eyes from a morning spent with tears running down them.

 

and to her complete and utter surprise, betty goddamn cooper’s eyes fill with tears, her bottom lip trembling before she walks forward and wraps her arms around cheryl in a warm embrace.

 

cheryl blinks in surprise for a second before she finally uncrosses her arms from her chest and returns the hug, patting her back somewhat awkwardly as betty sighs loudly in her ear.

 

“that was really brave of you to do, cheryl. you didn’t have to do that-.”

 

“i did, cousin betty. i don’t like keeping secrets from toni, and archiekins needs as much help as he can get.” cheryl croaks out, her body finally relaxing in her cousin’s arms. it’s true, she did it for archie, to recruit toni in the crusade to prove his innocence, but the former was also true as well. cheryl knew that she’d have to tell toni eventually, she didn’t like keeping things from her girlfriend, and her suicide attempt was a pretty _huge fucking thing_ to keep secret from her. it would’ve come out eventually…toni didn't deserve to be lied to, especially not by the person she loves...

 

betty rubs her back warmly before she pulls away and gives her a soft smile, reaching up to brush her thumb across cheryl’s cheekbone just as she did to toni mere minutes ago.

 

“i’m glad you two are in a good enough place that you feel comfortable telling her about it. she’s good for you, cheryl, she really is.” betty says in that annoyingly beautiful soft voice of hers, and jughead sighs beside her and leans against the lockers with a nod.

 

“and you’re good for her, too. you compliment each other, like puzzle pieces fitting together. it’s weird…i don’t think i’ve ever seen a dynamic like it before.” he murmurs with a frown.

 

_“you’re my soulmate, cheryl.”_

 

“we’re cogs in a machine, serpent king. two halves of one whole.” she whispers echoing toni’s words with a smile. betty smiles, her hand reaching out to grip cheryl’s bicep and give it a squeeze.

 

“i’m so happy you’ve found someone you share that connection with…you deserve happiness, cheryl. granted, you haven’t always been the nicest person, but after everything you did to help me with my father…you’ve changed. i can see it, and i know it’s because of toni. don’t let her go, alright?” betty says with a smile that cheryl easily returns.

 

“oh i don’t plan to, cousin betty.” 

 

_she’s my goddamn soulmate._

 

the bell rings loudly above them, and betty lets her go and looks to jughead, who gives cheryl a curt nod and a smile.

 

“thanks, cheryl. we’ll see you at pop’s, alright?” cheryl nods and watches as they walk away before she lets out a sigh and drags her feet to biology, already missing the warmth of her girlfriend by her side. 

 

the school day drags on, and when lunch time rolls around, cheryl is seated in the cafeteria with jughead, betty, veronica, kevin and josie when toni, sweet pea and fangs rock up and join them, sweet pea looking a little disgruntled and fangs with a resigned look on his face.

 

“we’re in on helping andrews.” sweet pea grunts out to jughead, who grins at toni before telling both boys to meet them at pop’s in the afternoon as well. 

 

“don’t worry, i didn’t tell them anything.” toni whispers into cheryl’s ear, and when her girlfriend raises her eyebrow, toni grins.

 

“staring competition. sweet pea always loses.” 

 

three o’clock surprisingly rolls around quite quickly, and cheryl leaves english class and makes her way to the entrance of the school to meet toni before she hears her name being called.

 

“cheryl! wait!” she turns in confusion to see josie rushing toward her with a smile, a hand reaching out to grip her elbow as she comes to a stop in front of the red head.

 

“hey! i gotta ask you something.” she pants out with a grin. cheryl raises an eyebrow.

 

“ask away, dearest josie.” 

 

“that sweet pea…he single?” josie asks, raising an eyebrow as a smile plays on her lips. cheryl blinks once in shock, tries to process what exactly josie has just said before she stammers out a reply.

 

“uh-he…i m-mean, yes, but-.”

 

“great! sounds good, thanks girl!” and with that, she skips off, leaving cheryl watching her go in complete and utter surprise and confusion.

 

josie…and sweet pea?

 

but josie’s never exactly been a fan of the southside serpents, and there’s no way her mother would approve of-

 

oh.

 

_oh…_

 

cheryl frowns, prays that josie isn’t doing what she thinks she’s doing before she sighs and makes her way to the entrance of the school. she’ll talk to josie about it later, right now, she needs to focus on getting to pop’s, on helping archie…

 

she bursts through the entrance and is immediately met with the sight of toni on her bike, straddling the seat as she holds a helmet out for cheryl to take with a smile. cheryl skips forward and happily takes it, ignores the usual stares and whispers, shoving it onto her head before she straddles the bike behind toni and wraps her arms around her girlfriend’s waist.

 

the drive to pop’s is short, sweet pea and fangs trailing behind them as well with their bikes roaring loudly around them, and when they arrive, cheryl sees that jughead, veronica and betty are already there, the three members of the core four anxiously awaiting the arrival of their fourth member. 

 

cheryl and toni head into pop’s hand in hand, fangs and sweet pea right behind them as they make their way to the booth that the others are seated at. veronica smiles at their approach, and even with the expensive makeup that covers her face in a standard of beauty that cheryl has always envied, she can easily spot the bags under her eyes.

 

veronica lodge has much to grieve over. a hideous father and a boyfriend on trial for murder. 

 

she’s about to greet them when the door to pop’s opens, causing all of their attention to turn to the door as archie andrews walks through, looking a little worse for wear. his red hair is a mess, the bags under his eyes matching his girlfriend’s as he spots his friends and gives them a weak smile.

 

“hey…” he croaks out. veronica cries out and jumps up from the booth, running straight for her boyfriend and leaping into his arms to hug him tightly. archie wraps his arms around veronica and buries his face into her shoulder, the both of them holding each other close before she pulls away and kisses him deeply with tears running down her cheeks. 

 

“are you okay, archiekins?” she whispers, pulling back and looking into his eyes. archie clenches his jaw, but smiles and nods once.

 

“i’m fine, ronnie. just glad to be out of that jail cell.” he says, looking up at the others as he speaks. 

 

betty’s the next to stand and hug him, arms enveloping her childhood best friend tearfully as he hugs her close with a smile. jughead is next, clapping his back and telling him he’s glad he’s alright, and when archie pulls away, his eyes land on cheryl, a soft smile lighting up his face as he holds his arms open for her.

 

cheryl bites down on her trembling bottom lip and hugs him close, nails scratching at the back of his neck tenderly as archie sighs against her. 

 

god, he doesn’t deserve this…he doesn’t deserve any of this at all. archie andrews was the epitome of everything good in riverdale, and yet here was, accused of murder? it didn’t make sense, none of it made sense…

 

archie andrews saved her life…he wasn't capable of taking one.

 

“hey…it’s okay.” archie whispers, rubbing her back consolingly, and cheryl doesn’t even realize she’s crying until a choked out sob escapes her, her hold on archie tightening for just a moment before she pulls away and cradles his cheek with a smile.

 

“are you sure you’re okay, archie?” she whispers hoarsely. archie swallows thickly and curls his fingers around her wrist, giving it a gentle squeeze as he nods.

 

“yeah, i’m fine.” his eyes land on the other three serpents present, and cheryl’s eyes land on her girlfriend as she looks at archie with tear filled eyes that she quickly blinks away with a clear of her throat, her eyes falling down to her feet as she does. 

 

“it’s good to see you guys. but i know why you’re here, and the answer is no.” archie says firmly.

 

cheryl’s heart stops.

 

jughead’s eyes widen as he grips archie’s shoulder tightly.

 

“archie, we-.”

 

“no, jughead. i know what you’re gonna say, you’re gonna get the serpents to help you find evidence that proves i’m innocent, and i’m telling you, no. i’m not going to give hiram lodge another reason to destroy the serpents more than he already has. he’s taken your home and if he finds out you’re helping me, he’ll only work harder to make your lives hell.” archie says with complete and utter finality in his tone. 

 

cheryl looks to veronica pleadingly, watches as the raven haired girl steps in front of archie and wraps her arms around his neck to get him to look at her.

 

“archie, we have to do _something-_.”

 

“you can. you can help me feel like everything’s normal in the moments that i’m with you. the trial starts in three weeks, until then, i have to stay in riverdale and i have to be home by curfew every night. mom’s flying down tonight, and attorney mccoy’s agreed to help my case as well. i just…i want to spend as much time as i have left with my friends and family. your father’s done everything he can to make sure i go down for this and i’m not gonna spend what little time i have left worrying about finding evidence that doesn’t exist to prove my innocence. please guys, for once, don’t be my saviors…just be my friends.” archie pleads, looking to each and every single one of them, even the serpents, with a look of utter defeat in his eyes. 

 

“but archie-.” jughead starts, eyes wide and wild, but archie shakes his head furiously and raises a hand to silence him.

 

“but nothing, jug. attorney mccoy is the best at what she does and so is my mom. let them handle my case. i’m not putting you guys or the serpents at risk, no way. what’s done is done. now…can we sit down and eat? i’m starving.” archie says, smiling as he slides down into the booth and holds his hand out for veronica to take.

 

everyone is staring at him in complete shock, and cheryl’s heart is pounding against her chest painfully as she stares at the boy who saved her life without any idea on how to help save his. 

 

he doesn’t want help. _he doesn’t want help-_

 

“archie…” veronica’s voice is shaking as she sits down beside him and grips his hands, and the red haired boy’s smile falters before he sighs and leans in to press a kiss to his girlfriend’s forehead.

 

“shh, ronnie. it’s okay…come on, let’s all get some food and just…hang out. have fun.” he says softly. his eyes meet cheryl’s, a look of understanding as he gives her nod…

 

and cheryl gives in.

 

she sits down opposite him with a sad smile and reaches for his hand, squeezing it in her own as she does.

 

“whatever you want, archie.” she whispers. veronica looks at her in disbelief, jughead equally in shock as sweet pea, fangs and toni all collapse down beside cheryl, toni’s hand resting on her thigh lightly as sweet pea grabs a chair and pulls it up to sit beside the table. 

 

if archie andrews wants to spend what might be his last weeks of freedom with his friends by his side, then that’s exactly what cheryl is going to give him. 

 

betty’s the first to sigh and sit down at the booth as well next to veronica, tears falling down her cheeks as she nods at her best friend.

 

“okay, arch. if that’s what you want…but i’m going to help your mom and attorney mccoy. you can’t expect me not to do anything.” she whispers. archie sighs, but purses his lips and nods as veronica begins trembling beside them.

 

“archie…we can’t let my father win-”

 

“ronnie, please. this is what i want, okay? i love you so much, but i need you to have faith that my mom and attorney mccoy can fix this. we can’t go up against hiram, the man doesn’t play fair. so let’s do this legally…let’s do this the right way, alright?” archie’s eyes move up to jughead, who still looks shocked as well as angry, his jaw clenching and his nostrils flaring as he looks back at his best friend.

 

“jug…please let it go. seriously, if he gives you guys any kind of mission that involves helping me, tell me so i can kick his ass. i’m not putting you guys at risk.” archie says, looking to the serpents in front of him. sweet pea scoffs and looks up at jughead with a raised eyebrow.

 

“maybe he should be serpent king, seeing as he thinks of us before himself.” he grumbles. cheryl inhales sharply as jughead’s fists clench and toni slaps sweet pea up the head.

 

“shut up, you idiot.” she growls. sweet pea simply shrugs, and betty stands and grips jughead’s elbow, steering him away from the booth with a soft whisper of his name. they both go outside, and archie watches them go with a sigh before he looks to veronica pleadingly.

 

“ronnie…go help betty calm him down, please. help him see that this is what i want.” he whispers. veronica swallows thickly and scoffs.

 

“i’m having trouble seeing it myself, archiekins.” she says hoarsely. archie smiles sadly and leans in to kiss her gently. 

 

“go. i’m gonna be right here, i promise. i’m not going anywhere.” he reiterates. she sighs, but presses another kiss to his lips before she stands and heads outside of pop’s to talk to betty and jughead. archie watches her go fondly before his eyes land on cheryl and toni, and cheryl can see a look in his eyes that tells her he wants to speak to them and them alone.

 

and she’s not the only one to notice.

 

“uh…fangs, sweet pea, go order for us.” toni says with a clear of her throat. sweet pea shoves her thigh with his boot harshly. 

 

“you go order for us.” he grumbles. toni glares at him and flicks his ear with her middle finger.

 

“want to lose another staring competiton?” she growls. he gives her the middle finger before he stands with a sigh and makes his way to pop tate at the counter, fangs laughing loudly as he jumps up and over the booth to join him. archie smiles before he locks eyes with toni, but before he can say anything, toni’s leaning over the booth and grabbing archie’s hand tightly.

 

“archie, cheryl told me what happened at sweetwater river. i…fuck, i don’t even know how to begin to thank you for saving her life, if you hadn’t been there-.” toni’s voice begins shaking the longer she talks, and archie leans in closer as well, squeezing toni’s hand in both of his own.

 

“hey, you have nothing to thank me for, toni. i’m just glad cheryl found someone who makes her happy, who takes her out of that dark place she was in. you deserve to be happy, both of you.” he says softly. cheryl feels her heart break, and she’s placing her hands on top of archie’s and toni’s, blinking back tears as she looks at archie in despair.

 

“archie, are you _sure_ there’s nothing we can do-.”

 

“i’m sure, cheryl. you know, everything that happened with my dad getting shot and working with hiram, i…i think i lost sight of the boy that saved your life that day at sweetwater river. but i see him very clearly now, and the archie back then would never let his friends put their lives at risk to help him, which is exactly why i’m begging you guys to drop it. whether things work out or not…i wanna spend what time i might have left being _normal._ ” archie says hoarsely, a sad smile playing on his lips. 

 

toni sighs and looks to her girlfriend in resignation, cheryl returning the same look. there’s nothing they can do. if this is what archie wants…

 

_god, he doesn’t deserve this…_

 

“okay.” toni whispers. archie smiles, but it quickly fades as he spares a glance outside to make sure betty, jughead and veronica aren’t coming in. when he determines they aren’t, he clenches his jaw and looks to toni before clearing his throat and leaning in even closer.

 

“just in case things don’t work out…i remember mayor mccoy saying you spent time in juvie…” he says in a low voice, looking to toni with worry. cheryl immediately feels her girlfriend tense up beside her, and when she turns to look at her, toni’s expression is hard as she swallows loudly and nods once.

 

“you want my advice if you do end up there?” she says roughly. archie purses his lips and nods, and toni runs her fingers through her hair before she sighs.

 

“keep your head down and don’t do anything stupid. don’t go anywhere alone, but don’t make any friends. there are no good people in juvie, archie. it’s everyone for themselves. make sure the guards always have an eye on you, and just…keep to yourself. don’t give anyone a reason to hurt you and they won’t. and the ones that target you anyway...give them a reason not to.” 

 

archie takes in her words like gospel, eyes wide and mouth slightly slack jawed before he pulls back and nods slowly with a frown.

 

“that bad, huh?” he says simply with a shaky smile, trying to lighten the mood, but his hand is squeezing both of theirs tightly in what cheryl can only assume is fear, and toni sighs and shakes her head sadly.

 

“let’s just pray it doesn’t come to that, andrews.” 

 

\---------------

 

“god, today’s been a long day…”

 

toni collapses on top of the queen sized bed before her with a loud sigh, her body aching from the roller coaster of emotions that the last twenty four hours have been. 

 

her eyes are burning still from this morning, and she hasn’t been able to stop thinking about cheryl’s confession all day, the thought bringing tears to her eyes once more. she grabs the pillow a few inches from her face and buries her head into it to hide her tears from her girlfriend, but a weight quickly falls on her backside before gentle hands scratch down her back soothingly, causing a soft groan to escape her.

 

“it has…” cheryl murmurs, her hands kneading into the muscles in toni’s back now. toni shifts her head to the side as cheryl’s hands move up to her shoulders, a sigh of content leaving her before she reaches a hand up to grip cheryl’s wrist and tug her down until she’s laying flat against toni’s back, a grunt followed quickly by a chuckle echoing in her ear.

 

“i’m sorry about archie, cher. you know i’d do anything to help him-.” toni starts, but cheryl raises a finger to silence her with a soft coo.

 

“shh, t.t. you’re amazing, and you have nothing to apologize for. if this is what archie wants, to spend what could potentially be his last moments of freedom with his friends, then that’s what we’re going to do. we’re going to give him the best three weeks of his life.” cheryl murmurs. toni hums softly and nods with a smile before she looks at her girlfriend out of the corner of her eye.

 

“it could take longer too, cher. the trial starts in three weeks, it doesn’t mean they’ll reach a verdict, especially if there’s a jury. it could take months, i think that’s why jughead’s so upset. he thinks we should be spending it looking for evidence…” toni frowns at the memory of jughead’s scowling face that hadn’t disappeared throughout the entire time they’d spent having dinner with archie. she’s scared that jughead is going to do something stupid that could involve getting himself or the other serpents hurt…

 

“this isn’t about him, and if this is what archie wants, then jughead should respect that. hopefully cousin betty can help him see reason.” cheryl says with a sigh. toni simply nods in agreement before cheryl presses a kiss to her ear gently. 

 

“are you okay, t.t? today has been…a lot.” cheryl says, pursing her lips with a frown. toni hesitates before she taps her thigh to get her to lift her hips off toni, which she does, and toni simply spins around until her back is on the mattress, her hands reaching out to grip cheryl’s thighs and bring her weight down onto her hips once more. 

 

“it has been. and i’m still…struggling.” toni says truthfully, swallowing thickly before she looks up at cheryl with a soft smile.

 

“but you’re here. and you’re safe. and you’re happy…that’s all that matters to me. and i know we’re gonna get through this, because we’re stronger than we’ve ever been before, cheryl. i can feel it. we’re gonna be okay, and _you’re_ gonna be okay. and god, i just pray that archie is gonna be okay as well.” toni says softly, her heart aching for the red haired boy. cheryl chews on her bottom lip before she leans down to kiss toni softly, her hands resting on either side of toni’s head as toni’s own hands move up and down her thighs gently, scratching at the denim of her shorts as she does. 

 

“i love you.” cheryl whispers against her lips. toni hums softly before kissing her once more.

 

“i love you, too.” she whispers back. cheryl smiles before her lips trail down toni’s jaw, gentle kisses that turn a little more insistent and harsh once she reaches the skin of toni’s neck. toni bites back a groan and digs her fingers into cheryl’s thighs, causing the red head to grunt before she grips toni’s wrists and moves her hands up above her head, pinning them to the pillow.

 

“can i?” she whispers, catching toni’s earlobe between her teeth and tugging on it playfully. toni whines, her back arching off the bed, causing their chests to press together.

 

“you don’t need to ask permission.” she breathes, chuckling slightly as cheryl hums and reaches a hand up to palm one of toni’s breasts, kneading the flesh as she sucks the skin of toni’s neck between her teeth. 

 

“consent is sexy.” she murmurs, kissing the dark spot quickly forming on toni’s neck as her hands move under toni’s shirt to scratch down the skin of her stomach. 

 

“you’re sexy.” toni bites back with a grin. cheryl rolls her eyes, but smiles all the same and kisses her lips before she’s tugging on the hem of toni’s shirt. toni arches her back up and allows cheryl to pull it up and over her head, laughs as cheryl throws it over the side of the bed easily. she pulls the left strap of toni’s bra up and lets it smack back against her skin with a playful grin.

 

“ow.” toni deadpans. 

 

“i want it off.” cheryl says with a pout. toni sits up and cups a hand around the back of her neck to pull her down for a kiss, teeth nipping at her bottom lip before she grabs one of cheryl’s hands and moves it around to her back where the clasp of her bra is.

 

“go on then.” toni mumbles, pressing a kiss to cheryl’s throat. cheryl lets out a shaky breath as she quickly unclasps it and pulls it off toni’s body, also throwing it carelessly over the side of the bed before she places her hands on toni’s collarbones and pushes her back down onto the bed roughly. toni raises an eyebrow at cheryl with a smirk, but she doesn’t even pay attention as she bends down and immediately begins kissing her way from toni’s throat down to her breasts, kissing the space between them before she moves to the left and wraps her lips around a nipple. 

 

“fuck, cher…” toni’s fingers immediately rake through cheryl’s red hair, a hum of appreciation leaving her as cheryl’s tongue swirls expertly around the hardened nub. she spends _minutes_ switching between both breasts until toni’s a sweating, gasping mess beneath her, the space between her thighs _throbbing_ with need as she digs her nails into cheryl’s shoulder and attempts to push her down to where she needs her. cheryl once again grips her wrists and pins them above her head with a playful tut.

 

“patience, t.t. keep doing that, and i’ll have to tie your hands up.” 

 

toni can’t help the loud groan that escapes her at the thought, the throbbing between her legs only intensifying, and cheryl looks up at her with a raised eyebrow in amusement.

 

“wow. it appears i’ve discovered a lovely little kink of yours, toni topaz.” she says with a grin. toni tries to laugh it off, but it just comes out sounding like a painful whine as cheryl’s grin widens to cheshire levels of wickedness.

 

“you know, i do have a tie in my drawer from an old halloween party where i dressed up as a hogwarts student…” cheryl murmurs. toni’s head snaps up in shock.

 

“i’m sorry, you dressed up as a what now?” she exclaims with a wicked grin. cheryl rolls her eyes before she’s resting her hands on toni’s ribs and pushing herself up off her girlfriend. 

 

“hush, t.t. we’ve all been there…” she says nonchalantly, walking over to her dresser and opening the third one. she rummages around it for a few moments before a triumphant sound escapes her and she holds up a green and silver tie with a grin.

 

“of course you’re a slytherin.” toni says with a roll of her eyes. cheryl’s mouth drops open.

 

“of course i am, t.t! cunning, ambitious, resourceful, intelligent…” 

 

“i love when you talk nerdy to me.” toni chuckles. cheryl rolls her eyes again and makes her way over to her, stopping short beside the bed and grinning when toni makes grabby hands at her to get her back on the bed. she slaps toni’s hands away before she reaches for the hem of her shirt and pulls it up and over her head, giving toni a full view of the red lace bra she’s wearing.

 

_jesus christ, toni, she’s a fucking angel…_

 

“i think, t.t…that you…would be a ravenclaw.” cheryl says slowly as she unbuttons her shorts and peels them down her legs to reveal matching lace panties.

 

toni swallows dryly and reaches for her girlfriend once more, but once again, cheryl’s gripping her wrists and pushing her down onto the bed before she straddles her once more with a smirk on her face.

 

“a ravenclaw, huh?” toni says hoarsely, looking up at her girlfriend’s _perfect fucking body_ in awe as cheryl leans down and presses a kiss to her lips.

 

“mmm…wise, intelligent, creative, clever…” she murmurs against her lips, and toni’s breath hitches as she wraps the tie around one of her wrists gently, moving her hands up toward the headboard as she does. 

 

“well, as much as i agree with you…i took the test and got gryffindor, baby.” she says with a sly grin.

 

cheryl pauses and looks down at her in shock before she slaps toni’s cheek lightly and playfully.

 

“ow!” toni says with a laugh despite not feeling any pain at all as cheryl shakes her head and squeezes her wrist in reprimand with a playful growl. 

 

“and you call me a nerd!” she huffs, quickly yanking the tie through the poles of the headboard and gripping toni’s free wrist to tie it. toni laughs loudly. 

 

“like you said, we’ve all been there.” she says with a shrug. cheryl leans down to nip at her bottom lip before she kisses the bruised skin and tugs on the tie around toni’s wrists.

 

“is it okay?” she asks softly. toni wraps her fingers around the fabric and tugs on it. it doesn’t budge, leaving her arms up and suspended on either side of her head, and she grins up at cheryl and nods.

 

“yeah, baby, it’s fine.” she reassures her. cheryl smiles and leans down to kiss her once more before she’s moving back down toni’s body slowly. 

 

“you know…now that i think about it…you would be a gryffindor, toni. brave…loyal…courageous…adventurous…” cheryl says between kisses to toni’s ribs, trailing down to her stomach and causing her back to arch up of the bed and her hands to tug on the restraints in anticipation. 

 

“cheryl, please…” toni breathes, tongue darting out to wet her dry lips as cheryl slowly unbuttons her jeans before gripping the zipper between her teeth and tugging it down.

 

“fuck me…” toni whines at the sight before her, her hips bucking up off the bed and her hands pulling on the tie once again because all she wants to do is run her fingers through cheryl’s hair-

 

cheryl takes the opportunity to pull toni’s jeans down, her body sliding down the bed with the movement until she removes toni’s jeans completely, and she repeats the process with toni’s underwear, her lips leaving open mouthed kisses on her thighs until toni’s naked and writhing on the bed in front of her, arms tied to the headboard helplessly. 

 

cheryl’s looking at her with nothing but complete and utter _awe._

 

“god, toni…you’re nothing short of a masterpiece worthy of the finest painters in old venetian times…” she breathes, crawling onto the bed until she’s hovering above toni once more. toni’s about to make another nerd comment when cheryl’s lips cut her off with a kiss, her tongue moving languidly against toni’s before she pulls away and makes her way down toni’s body slowly. 

 

she hooks toni’s legs over her shoulders, and toni stares fondly at the serpent tattoo on her shoulder that’s visible beneath her bra, a hand moving up to smooth over toni’s stomach as she sucks a bruise into toni’s left thigh. 

 

toni’s nimble fingers wrap around the poles of the headboard as she closes her eyes and licks her lips, a whine escaping her when cheryl’s lips leave her thigh and move to her center-

 

a hot, wet tongue drags up her folds, causing a cry of pleasure to tear from her lips as her hands yank on the restraints subconsciously, heels digging into cheryl’s lower back unintentionally.

 

“cheryl, _god…_ ” she manages to croak out, her gaze moving down to witness cheryl smiling up at her before she repeats the process once more, maintaining eye contact the entire time. 

 

“you’re fucking perfect, cheryl blossom, i hope you k-know that, _ugh…_ ” toni’s head falls back against the pillow with a breathless pant, and cheryl chuckles as she presses a kiss to toni’s stomach, but says nothing. she moves back down, lips closing around toni’s clit and sucking softly, causing the pink haired serpent to cry out once again, a filthy moan leaving her lips that has cheryl biting down on her thigh in reprimand.

 

“lisa and nana rose are asleep downstairs, t.t.” she chastises. 

 

“ugh, they always are, they’re used to it by now, don’t stop, please!” toni whines, and cheryl rolls her eyes, but smirks as she moves her tongue against toni once more. 

 

toni finds herself incoherent with minutes, nothing but gasps and groans escaping her every time cheryl presses her tongue just a little harder, her nails scratching down toni’s hips, and she just needs a little _more-_

 

but of course, it needs no verbal confirmation. cheryl’s learned to read toni’s body during intimate moments like this, they both have. just like toni knows that cheryl doesn’t get off from any penetration of any kind or that the vibration from toni humming against her clit drives cheryl crazy, cheryl knows that when toni’s thighs begin to shake, she’s getting close, that when toni’s making the noises she’s making right now, she needs her fingers to take her just that little further-

 

cheryl presses a finger to her opening before she slides it in slowly, tongue still dragging up and down her folds, and the added sensation of cheryl’s finger moving in and out of her has toni writhing beneath her, a wild gasp escaping her when cheryl quickly adds a second finger, curling them both up inside her in perfect rhythm with her tongue. 

 

she’s incapable of speech, her hands clenching into fists as cheryl shakes her hand faster and grins against her when toni’s thighs heat up next to her ears and begin to shake-

 

“come on, t.t., come for me.” cheryl whispers huskily, and toni turns her head to muffle her screams into the pillow as her thighs almost close around cheryl’s head, the redhead spreading her open to stop her from squeezing her head off. toni’s hips buck up as she climaxes harder than she ever has before, and cheryl _keeps going,_ determined to get a second one out of her-

 

“ch-cheryl, i c-can’t-.” 

 

“shh, yes you can, toni, one more, babe…” cheryl breathes, moving up her body and gripping her thighs to wrap them around her waist. her fingers slide back into toni before she’s even come down from her first orgasm, a choked out sob escaping the serpent as cheryl bites down on her neck playfully. 

 

“one more, t.t. one more for me…” she whispers against her skin, fingers thrusting at a pace that has toni’s eyes rolling into the back of her head. her thighs squeeze around cheryl’s waist, body jolting with each thrust of cheryl’s fingers before a thumb moves up to rub at her clit-

 

her back snaps off the bed and any noises about to escape her are cut off by cheryl’s lips crashing against hers, her free arm moving around toni’s back to pull her up closer to cheryl’s body. wave after wave of pleasure hits toni until she can’t take anymore, collapsing onto the bed with cheryl’s lips still moving against hers to silence her moans.

 

“cher…cheryl…” toni breathes, her whole body twitching beneath the red haired girl’s as she removes her fingers from inside toni with an equally breathless pant, sweat covering every inch of both their skins. 

 

“that was for being the best girlfriend a girl could ask for, toni topaz.” cheryl whispers, head drawing back to look toni in the eyes with as much tenderness as possible. toni’s still twitching with the aftershock of her orgasms as a lazy smile lights up her face, her hands flailing against the restraints.

 

“oh, right, sorry, t.t…” cheryl murmurs, reaching up to untie her girlfriend. as soon as toni’s hands are free, she wraps them around cheryl’s neck and pulls her down for a sloppy kiss that has cheryl laughing against her lightly. 

 

“as soon as i catch my breath…it’s your turn.” she pants out, but to her surprise, cheryl shakes her head and kisses her once more. 

 

“this was about you, toni. about thanking you for listening to me today…for not freaking out and trusting me when i told you that i’m fine now. for believing me when i said that those dark thoughts i had before that made me do what i did that day at sweetwater river are long gone…for wanting to help archie, for just everything, toni. you truly are the best girlfriend a girl could ask for, and i’m so lucky to have you.” cheryl whispers softly. toni blinks back tears, her heart aching, but also _pounding_ with nothing but love and adoration for the girl before her right now. 

 

“cheryl…” toni doesn’t know what to say. it still hurts to think that cheryl was ever in a place where suicide was her only solution to escape her pain, still hurts to think that she was so close to living a life without cheryl blossom by her side, but she knows that the only way to move past this is to remember that cheryl _is_ here, is alive and breathing and happy and _safe…_

 

“cheryl, you mean the world to me, okay? i love you with everything in me, and as much as it hurts to think about what happened…seeing you here in front of me now, happy and smiling, and just fucking _breathing…_ all i can think about is spending the rest of my life fighting to make sure you never go back to that dark place again.” toni says determinedly, her fingers brushing cheryl’s hair behind her ears affectionately. cheryl smiles and leans down to press a kiss between her eyes. 

 

“as long as you’re with me, toni, i never will. if being with you can pull me through gay conversion therapy and losing my mother, then it can pull me through anything.” she murmurs with a smile. toni returns it affectionately, leaning up to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth before she frowns.

 

“are you sure you don’t want me to reciprocate?” toni asks, and cheryl smiles and nods once.

 

“i’m sure, toni. right now…i feel affectionate instead of lustful. i just want to cuddle.” she says with a soft smile.

 

and god, toni’s heart fucking _melts._

 

_you’re so far gone, toni, this girl isn’t just your world, she’s your entire fucking **universe** , with her own stars and solar system, her own fucking galaxy…_

 

“what my girl wants, my girl gets. get down here, bombshell…i’m gonna cuddle you for the next ten hours without letting you go once.”

 

"hmm, challenge accepted, t.t."


	3. more like a revolution

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh...don't kill me? :D
> 
> i hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and i also hope you guys enjoy where i'm going with this. i'm not sure yet if i'm going to introduce the whole gryffons and gargoyles storyline that the show is doing, because it's too early for me to tell if it's an exciting storyline or not, so let me know if that's something you guys would want to see in this fic. anyway, love you guys, thank you so much for all the feedback and please leave comments to let me know what you think!

“remind me again why we’re going through this bothersome task, ma cherie?” 

 

cheryl smiles fondly, unable to stop herself at the sight of toni with her tongue poking out between her teeth as she runs her gloved fingers covered in pink dye through her hair, a look of utter concentration on her face before she grins at cheryl in the mirror before them. 

 

“because it was fading and i don’t look good as a blonde.” she says simply, watching with a twinkle in her eyes as cheryl squirts pink dye into her own gloved hand before she begins massaging it into a section of toni’s hair that isn’t already covered in pink. cheryl hums softly before she leans in to press a kiss to toni’s cheek.

 

“you look good with any hair color, babe.” she says with a smile. toni smirks before she cocks an eyebrow and looks at cheryl cheekily. 

 

“cool, guess i’ll try green next time.” cheryl visibly winces, causing toni to laugh loudly before cheryl playfully scolds her by slapping her shoulder.

 

“stop moving, t.t. you’re going to get dye all over your skin.” 

 

“it’ll wash off, baby, don’t worry.” toni reassures her. cheryl simply rolls her eyes, but grabs the hair clip off the bench top carefully as toni pulls her hair up on top of her head. cheryl slips the clip in gently as toni sighs and leans in to kiss her with a smile. 

 

cheryl kisses her back happily, pulling back to look at the pink dye that’s all over her face, and she’s thankful that toni let her put petroleum jelly around her hairline to stop it from staining her skin despite her insistence that it wasn’t necessary.

 

“i’m careful with this stuff, cher, i’ve been doing it for years.”

 

looking at her now, cheryl has to mentally stop herself from calling her a girlfriend a big fat liar. it’s _everywhere_ on toni’s body. she’s wearing an old bra that’s already stained with pink dye and old underwear as well, clothes that she apparently doesn’t care about, and cheryl bites back a groan at how much dye is lathered over toni’s shoulders and back. some of it has somehow even ended up on her legs and stomach, her bellybutton piercing also housing a spot of pink dye on the gemstone.

 

“it better, toni, it’s literally everywhere.” cheryl says with a light laugh. toni follows cheryl gaze down to her stomach before she looks up with wide eyes.

 

“well that’s your fault, cher, you kept grabbing me to kiss me.” she says with a cheeky grin. cheryl chuckles before she pulls her gloves off and shoves them into the sink, running the water to rinse them before she turns to face toni once more.

 

“now you can’t blame me anymore.” she mumurs, quirking an eyebrow before gripping toni’s waist, being careful not to land on any dye as she kisses her slowly. toni hums against her happily, a whine of protest escaping her when cheryl pulls away too suddenly to grab her phone and set a timer.

 

“twenty minutes, right?” 

 

“mhmm…” cheryl sighs and pulls the toilet lid down to sit on it as toni washes the gloves in the sink, and cheryl can’t help her gaze moving over toni’s half naked body lustfully, her teeth clamping down on her bottom lip to stop herself from grabbing her girlfriend and pinning her to the wall.

 

their sex drive is way too high, cheryl knows they need to dial it down, but _god_ , how can she when she has a literal goddess for a girlfriend? 

 

“you know, cher, twenty minutes is a long time to be doing nothing…” toni murmurs, looking over her shoulder at her girlfriend to catch her eyes trailing over her body appreciatively. cheryl squirms in her seat and avoids toni’s gaze as she shrugs. 

 

“we’re not having sex, toni, we’re gonna end up with pink dye all over us.” she says firmly, crossing her arms over her chest to give of some sense of finality to the discussion. toni pouts before she makes her way over to cheryl, her gloves now clean of any pink dye as she tucks a finger under cheryl’s chin to lift her gaze up.

 

“do not get any dye on me, t.t.” cheryl says firmly, looking up at her girlfriend sternly, and toni laughs before she leans down to press a kiss to cheryl’s full lips.

 

“i won’t, cher, relax. you’ve been way too tense the last few days, what’s going on?” toni asks with a frown, her eyes searching her girlfriend’s face for answers despite the fact that cheryl’s seconds away from giving them to her.

 

she doesn’t like keeping things from toni.

 

“pickens day is tomorrow, t.t…my first pickens day without my father and brother by my side, but also my first pickens day knowing the truth of what happened. that my grandpappy blossom ordered general pickens to slaughter hundreds of innocent uktena tribe members…ever since that day your grandfather told me the story of how the serpents were formed, toni, i’ve been dreading this day.” cheryl says, her voice thick with tears that she quickly swallows down.

 

pickens day was a big celebration for cheryl’s family, it was, after all, how the blossom family came upon the maple syrup that now gave them the fortune they sit on. since losing jason and god, even her father, cheryl hasn’t given the day a second thought…but the day after she had become a serpent, cheryl spent the afternoon with toni and her grandfather, and she had asked him how the serpents had been formed.

 

when thomas topaz told her the story of how he and the other elders had formed the serpents to protect the uktena people and the southside after a history of destruction and despair…cheryl’s heart is still aching with the truth of what her great-great-great grandfather had done.

 

“for years i saw grandpappy blossom as a hero, when the truth is, he killed hundreds of innocent people, t.t. hundreds of _your_ people, and for what? a couple of maple trees?” cheryl breathes, looking up at her girlfriend in sadness. toni sighs sadly, her expression softening as she bends down to sit on her haunches and takes cheryl’s hands in her own, pressing a kiss to her knuckles as she does.

 

“cher, i know it’s a hard thing to wrap your mind around, but your family’s actions don’t define you.” toni says softly. cheryl swallows down the lump in her throat and shakes her head.

 

“i know that, toni, but still…i spent years celebrating him, years celebrating the fortune we were given thanks to him, when all of it…god, all of it is blood money, t.t.” cheryl croaks out, her hands gripping toni’s for comfort as the serpent girl leans up to press a kiss to her brow. 

 

“that fortune is yours now, cheryl. it doesn’t have to _stay_ as blood money. but this isn’t something you need to think about right now, okay? you’re sixteen years old, cheryl, you don’t have to worry about any of that stuff. we don’t have to celebrate pickens day tomorrow, the serpents never do. we’ll probably just all gather at the lakeside for a bonfire, it’s what we used to do at the trailer park. we’ll celebrate the uktena members who lost their lives instead.” toni says with a reassuring smile.

 

cheryl can’t think of anything to do but lean up and kiss her, lips urgent against toni’s as her teeth lightly bite down on toni’s bottom lip, eliciting a soft groan from the girl in front of her.

 

she’ll never understand, she thinks…she’ll never understand how toni is able to calm her down so easily, able to help her feel better about any situation regardless of what it was…

 

“i’d like that, t.t…i’d like to be given the chance to ask for forgiveness for my family’s actions.” cheryl whispers against her lips. toni sighs and pulls away from her with a shake of her head.

 

“you did nothing wrong, cher-.”

 

“i know, t.t. but it was still _my_ family, the blossom family that was responsible for hundreds of innocent men, women and children being slaughtered. if i can apologize for it, i will.” cheryl says with a sense of urgency. 

 

she needs toni to understand…she was a southside serpent now, the uktena people were her people too…cheryl had to do something to make up for all the tragedy the blossom family had brought upon them, even if it was a simple apology…something to make sure she was worthy of wearing that jacket that’s sitting in her wardrobe right now-

 

“okay, baby…whatever you need, alright? i honestly don’t think it’s necessary, but if you want to, then i won’t stop you. i love you, cheryl.” toni says with a gentle smile. cheryl returns it and leans in to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

 

“i love you too, antoinette.” she whispers back, her tone as sincere as she can make it.

 

because cheryl has never quite been so sure before. that she loves toni…that she’ll probably always love toni, no matter what their future holds for them.

 

toni chuckles and kisses her properly before she leans back with a raised eyebrow.

 

“you know, i’ve always hated my full name, but coming out of your mouth, cher, it sounds fucking beautiful.” she smirks despite the softness in her eyes. cheryl rolls her eyes and wipes away the tear that’s fallen from the corner of her eye with a sniff. 

 

“do you know the meaning behind your name?” cheryl asks in wonder in an effort to distract herself. toni frowns before she shakes her head with a shrug.

 

“no, i know that it’s french though. my mother named me after marie antoinette, actually.” toni says with a chuckle. cheryl’s smile only grows wider.

 

“really?” she says in surprise. toni smiles brightly and nods as she stands up, her eyes growing fond suddenly. 

 

“yeah…i never actually got the story out of her as to why…she just told me i was named after the last queen of france before the french revolution. why, what does it mean, cher?” toni asks with a furrowed brow. cheryl stands up slowly and leans in to kiss her lips ever so gently.

 

“it means ‘highly praiseworthy’, t.t.” cheryl whispers against her them. toni laughs against her lightly, and she’s about to say something when cheryl reaches up and cradles toni’s face in her hands before kissing her deeply, toni making a soft noise of protest as she pulls away.

 

“cher, you’re gonna get dye on your fingers-.”

 

“shut up, toni.” cheryl groans, kissing her once against and reveling in the groan that escapes toni as she rips the gloves off her hands and grips cheryl by the waist to pull her closer-

 

a loud beeping sound has them jumping apart, and cheryl glares over at her phone murderously as if it’s betrayed her, toni laughing before she reaches over to turn it off. 

 

“go on, go get ready while i wash this shit out. we’ll go to pop’s for dinner and then we’ll go to the lakeside and visit the boys, yeah?” cheryl nods with a smile and kisses toni once more before she heads for the door.

 

“sounds good, t.t.” she hears toni chuckle before the door shuts, and cheryl sighs and looks down at her hands.

 

hands that are now covered in pink hair dye.

 

cheryl hesitates for a few moments, is contemplating running the dye through her own hair, just a streak of pink to show that she was toni’s and toni’s only, a way of toni marking her as her soulmate, her lover, her paramour…

 

she brushes the thought away with a flip of hair and makes her way to one of the other bathrooms of thistlehouse. 

 

as tempting as it is, and as much as she hates her last name…cheryl simply can’t do that to her beautiful red blossom locks. they were her only reminder of her beloved twin brother left now that his car had been destroyed.

 

and after all, toni thought she was perfect the way she was. so why mess with perfection?

 

cheryl hears the sound of her mother’s voice echoing in her ear, the sound of her mother’s insults and her gaslighting, telling cheryl to drop the chocolate in her hands because it would make her gain weight in her stomach, yelling at cheryl to always leave food on her plate because she should never consume a full meal lest she become a victim of one of the seven sins; gluttony…

 

those words quickly fade, are replaced with the soft whisper of toni’s voice telling her she’s beautiful, telling her that she’s perfect just the way she is, the memory of toni spoon feeding cheryl ice cream with a laugh before slathering it onto her cheek playfully…

 

cheryl smiles and finds herself nodding.

 

yes…she’s perfect in toni’s eyes. and truly, that’s all cheryl cares about. 

 

\-------------

 

“cher, come on-.”

 

“nuh uh, i want a kiss first, t.t.” 

 

cheryl wags the fry in front of toni’s face playfully before tapping her lips with a perfectly manicured red nail, and toni rolls her eyes, but leans in slowly, about to press a kiss to those beautiful red lips she loves so much. but as cheryl giggles against her and also leans in, toni turns her head to the side and bites down on the fry held between cheryl’s fingers.

 

“hey!” cheryl pouts playfully as toni laughs even louder, nothing but affection flooding her as cheryl squirms in her lap with a huff, and they both look up at the sound of approaching footsteps and small laughter that somehow echoes around pop’s diner despite how full it is with customers.

 

“always a pleasure, seeing my favorite power couple around!” veronica says cheerily, her raven haired ponytail swinging with each step as she collapses into the seat opposite them with a tired sigh. toni takes in her waitress uniform with a frown as cheryl cuddles closer to her and begins twirling a now bright pink piece of toni’s hair between her fingers, her eyes on veronica as she grabs a fry with her other hand and dips it into tomato sauce. she holds it up to toni without even looking at her as she smiles at veronica. 

 

“i forgot you started working here when you bought the place.” she says softly. veronica chuckles as toni takes the fry into her mouth and grins at her. 

 

“how are you finding working at pop’s, v?” she asks with a smile. veronica sighs and reaches over to steal a fry from their basket before she’s leaning back into the booth tiredly, popping into her mouth and munching on it for a few moments before she replies.

 

“it’s not so bad. it helps me keep an eye on the speakeasy as well. it’s coming along so nicely…archie’s down there right now working on it. i told him he shouldn’t be spending his time as a free man renovating the basement of an old diner, but he told me there’s no place else he’d rather be…” veronica swallows thickly, and toni can see her blinking back tears as she casts her eyes down to her lap, a look of sorrow heavy in her eyes.

 

it’s been almost two weeks now since archie was let out on bail, and with his trial approaching ever closer, betty, jughead and veronica were still trying to convince the red haired boy to let them at least do _something_ , but archie was having none of it. it’s gotten to a point now where archie has taken to sometimes hanging out with the serpents at the lakeside when jughead wasn’t around, gathering at the lake with them for a dip or chilling out by the fire as the older serpents told stories. it was an odd sight at first, archie andrews hanging around the southside serpents, but toni understands the appeal in it for him. it’s the one place he can go where people don’t look at him with concern or fear, the one place he can go to where he won’t be judged or questioned.

 

archie probably thinks it’s just how the serpents are, and he’s only partly right…truthfully, toni had gone around to each of the serpents telling them that if they so much as looked at archie wrong, she’d kick their asses into the dirt. if she couldn’t help prove his innocence, then she was going to make damn sure she made him as comfortable as possible around her people.

 

toni sighs, not quite sure what to say to comfort veronica, but cheryl comes to her rescue as she reaches over to take veronica’s hand in her own, a sad smile on her face as she does.

 

“ronnie, this is what archie wants…i think the last thing he wants to be doing is spending every waking moment thinking about his trial. maybe renovating the speakeasy will help keep his mind off it. this is good for him, you have to see it that way.” veronica nods slowly, her grip on cheryl’s hand tightening as she gives her a small smile.

 

“i know…i just want archie to be happy, and the only times i’ve seen him truly smile since he got out is when we _aren’t_ talking about the trial…you should see the smile on his face right now…he’s helping reggie and his father, and the three of them are just goofing off and laughing while working…it’s the best thing i’ve seen in a long time.” she murmurs with a fond smile.

 

“then don’t talk about the trial. honestly, veronica, the trial is weeks away and i can guarantee you they aren’t going to come to a verdict straight away. when i was sentenced…” toni trails off, clenching her jaw and willing away the memories of her time spent in juvie, the war against the ghoulies behind bars just as prominent and terrifying as it was on the outside…the multiple beatings, the struggle to stay alive-

 

“the trial went on for two months before i was properly sentenced. so he’s still got time…make the most of it with him just in case.” toni says gruffly, her hand subconsciously reaching down to grip cheryl’s thigh on her lap to anchor herself back into reality. 

 

_you’re here, toni, you’re with your girlfriend and your friend, everything’s okay…_

 

cheryl immediately closes her hand over toni’s, giving it a gentle squeeze, but toni doesn’t look at her, is honestly too afraid to, keeps her eyes trained on veronica, who sniffs and wipes away her tears with a nod.

 

“i know…i know, i will. betty’s already working with miss mccoy and archie’s mom, and jughead…god, i don’t even know when it comes to him.” she says with a scoff. toni rolls her eyes as cheryl huffs beside her.

 

“we’ll handle our serpent king, don’t worry.” she mumbles. veronica frowns, but nods once before she’s clearing her throat and looking at the two girls before her with a wide smile.

 

“so, any plans for tonight other than pop’s, ladies?” she asks with a suggestive wink. toni rolls her eyes as cheryl laughs lightly and shakes her head.

 

“not really. we’re going to the lakeside after this for a while to see fangs and sweet pea, but then we’ll be retiring home for the night.” she says simply. veronica’s grin only grows wider as she suddenly nods down at cheryl’s hand still intertwined with her own.

 

“i think ‘retiring’ is hardly the word you should use. don’t think i haven’t notice those clawlike nails of yours shrinking in size, miss blossom.” she teases playfully. toni feels her cheeks immediately burn up as cheryl flushes just as bright beside her, yanking her hand out of veronica’s grip as she does before she clears her throat and raises an eyebrow at her.

 

“i…well-.”

 

“relax, bombshell! i’m not asking for details on your sex life, i’m just happy you finally have one, and that it’s with someone who loves you just as much as you love her.” veronica says happily, looking between the both of them fondly. toni bites back a grin as cheryl squeezes her hand again, and toni throws a glance her way to see the red haired girl staring at her with complete adoration and awe in her eyes.

 

“as am i.” she whispers. toni leans in to kiss her, unable to stop herself, the hand on her thigh moving up and down in a gentle caress that has cheryl adjusting herself to sink further into toni’s lap, and as cheryl hums against her lips happily, she hears veronica groan behind them.

 

“ugh, you guys are so disgustingly adorable.” 

 

“what a completely contradictory statement to make, veronica.” cheryl sighs, pulling away from toni reluctantly to look at veronica once more. veronica laughs lightly with a shake of her head before she’s leaning in close to them, her smile slowly fading until she’s pursing her lips into a thin line.

 

“speaking of contradictions…cheryl, i know that pickens day is kind of a celebration for you, but seeing as it’s my father hosting the event at pickens park, i was hoping you’d maybe skip it in protest?” veronica says hopefully.

 

toni frowns in confusion and turns to look at cheryl, who looks equally nonplussed as she looks at veronica once more.

 

“what do you mean? what event?” cheryl asks. veronica frowns and looks between them both in surprise before leaning in even closer, her voice dropping to a just above a whisper.

 

“you haven’t heard? dear old daddy is throwing a celebratory event at pickens park to celebrate our founding father. he says it will make mother look good, considering she’s the mayor now.” veronica grumbles. toni sighs and sinks back into the booth, her hands moving up and down cheryl’s legs as she closes her eyes.

 

“right…” she’d forgotten that hermione lodge had won the election…fuck, hiram had way too much power in riverdale…this was just getting worse and worse for the serpents at this point-

 

“does…god, veronica, does he know the truth at all? does he know that general pickens and my great-great-great grandfather were nothing but murderers? they killed hundreds of innocent uktena tribe members!” cheryl growls through bared teeth, causing toni to open her eyes and look at her in concern. veronica blinks in surprise before she’s scoffing in disbelief.

 

“well, i definitely haven’t heard that story, but there’s no doubt in my mind that my father knows. but he doesn’t care, cheryl, i think we’ve all gathered by now that my father is a monster. he doesn’t care about anything that doesn’t profit him in some way.” veronica says, clenching her jaw as her fist tightens on top of the table. cheryl scoffs in disbelief, and toni digs her nails into her thigh lightly.

 

“cher, there’s nothing we can do…don’t worry about it, alright? we don’t want to give hiram lodge more reason to target us.” she says in a hushed whisper. a guilty look quickly flashes in veronica’s eyes, and she clears her throat before she stands with a smile.

 

“alright, well unfortunately, i have to cut this conversation short, i have to get back to work. bye lovebirds!” she blows them a kiss before she walks away, and toni watches her go with a loud sigh. 

 

she knows veronica still feels guilty for her father’s role in hers and cheryl’s kidnapping at the hands of the ghoulies, and even though cheryl and toni had reassured her a million times that they didn’t blame her, veronica still spent over a week apologizing to them for it. toni isn’t sure why, but it must be similar to what cheryl feels about her great-great-great grandfather and his role in the slaughter of the uktena people…

 

toni wishes more than anything that there was something they could do to bring hiram down, but with sheriff minetta in his back pocket, it was pretty much impossible. and now for him to hold a celebration for the man who slaughtered their people? he was just shoving it into the southside serpents faces at this point.

 

“that man is unbelievable.” cheryl growls angrily. toni sighs and simply nods, not wanting to get into an argument with cheryl about what they can and can’t do against hiram lodge. she grabs another fry, shoving it into her mouth before pressing a kiss to cheryl’s cheek.

 

“come on, riverdale’s mightiest avenger, let’s go to the lakeside.” she teases with a chuckle. cheryl grumbles, but swings her legs off toni’s lap and slides out of the booth. as soon as she’s standing, she swings her bag off her shoulders and pulls her wallet out, taking out a ten dollar note and placing it on the table before she grabs her serpent jacket on the side of the booth and slides it on easily. she holds her hand out for toni to take, which she does, allowing cheryl to pull her out of the booth as she grabs her own serpent jacket that’s resting on the table. she puts it on as they head out to toni’s bike, the both of them shoving on their helmets that they’ve left on the handles. 

 

“i need to look into getting my own bike.” cheryl murmurs. toni raises an eyebrow and turns to look at her as she clicks her helmet on.

 

“why? i love driving you around!” she says with a grin. cheryl smiles softly and leans in to kiss her, but their helmets interrupt them, bumping together loudly and causing them both to roar with laughter. toni blinks back tears of mirth, still laughing as cheryl raises a hand and slaps the top of her helmet playfully. 

 

“just drive, you heathen.” 

 

“yes ma’am.” toni chokes out through her laughter, moving over the bike and grinning under her helmet as cheryl grips her shoulders and presses her chest to toni’s back once she’s settled in, her cheek resting on the leather of her jacket contently. as soon as she wraps her arms around toni’s waist, toni turns the ignition and peels out of the parking lot of pop’s at top speed, heading straight for the lakeside where the serpents are gathered. 

 

as soon as they arrive, fangs and sweet pea make their way over to them, both of them grinning widely as toni comes to a stop and kicks the stand of her bike down before turning it off. cheryl jumps off first, fangs immediately embracing her in a warm hug as toni gets off next, taking her helmet off before holding her hand out to take cheryl’s. 

 

“thank god, if i have to stare at jughead’s stupid pouty face for a minute longer…” sweet pea grunts, hugging toni tightly as she frowns and looks at him with a raised eyebrow.

 

“why, what’s his problem now?” she asks firmly. sweet pea rolls his eyes.

 

“he’s trying to convince f.p to talk to archie’s father, get him to get archie to let them help, but f.p’s telling him to leave it alone. they’ve been arguing all night.” 

 

“god, why can’t he just respect archie’s wishes?” toni groans, shaking her head as she follows sweet pea’s gaze to where jughead is indeed arguing with his father, his expression contorted in rage while f.p tries to calm him down. 

 

jughead’s been kind of missing in action for the last two weeks, and toni knows it’s because he’s trying to find something to help prove archie’s innocence behind his back, but she’s pretty sure archie is fully aware of what his best friend is doing, because she’s seen archie and jughead argue a handful of times over the last two weeks. toni doesn’t understand why jughead has to be so stubborn…

 

“archie’s his best friend, t.t. he’s been there for jughead through a lot…when fangs was accused of murder, you did everything you could to help him, too.” cheryl says softly. toni scuffs her boot on the ground, feeling a little guilty now before cheryl grips her hand and lifts it to her lips to press a red lipstick kiss to the back of it. 

 

“i’m not trying to make you feel bad, babe-.”

 

“i know, cher.” toni whispers, smiling up at her as best she can despite the guilt that still pounds through her.

 

she never thought of it that way…she _does_ understand why jughead’s trying so hard but at the same time, archie wanted his friends to spend whatever time he had left having fun with him. what if archie was thrown into juvie and the last memory he had of jughead was him running around like a headless chicken trying to find a way to get him out of it? 

 

but then again, what if jughead doing that also helped archie avoid conviction altogether?

 

_god, this is such a fucked up situation…_

 

“come on, you two. we should probably break up that scuffle before it gets serious.” fangs mumbles. toni nods and squeezes cheryl’s hand as they all make their way toward the fire. f.p looks up at their approach, a heavy sigh escaping him before he looks at jughead with a clench of his jaw.

 

“we’ll talk about this later, boy.” he grunts out. jughead glares at him, but says nothing more as he scoffs and shakes his head angrily, turning away from all of them to gaze into the fire. f.p smiles tiredly at toni and cheryl as they approach, nodding at them as they come to a stop in front of him.

 

“how are you two holding up?” he asks softly. toni smiles, looking at cheryl fondly as the red haired girl tugs on toni’s arm to pull her close, wrapping an arm around her waist as she does. 

 

“we’re alright, f.p. how are things looking here?” cheryl asks with a frown. f.p runs his fingers through his hair and looks around with a nod.

 

“everything’s fine. we still haven’t found a place to move permanently, but it’s been quiet here, so i’m thinking maybe we should just stick around. at least for now…ghoulies can’t touch it and neither can sheriff minetta. it’s uktena tribe territory and therefore serpent territory no matter what.” 

 

“thank god for thomas topaz, huh?” sweet pea says with a chuckle. toni smiles fondly before she looks around with a frown, trying to locate her grandpa by his grey head of hair, but he’s nowhere insight.

 

“where is grandpa, anyway?” she asks. f.p’s face falls slightly, and he purses his lips before he sighs.

 

“thomas is getting prepared for ‘the mourning’ tomorrow. you know how he gets around pickens day…” he mumbles. toni’s heart sinks, and she looks up at cheryl, who looks down at her with a slight frown of confusion.

 

“what’s ‘the mourning’?” she asks. toni sighs.

 

“remember how i told you the serpents usually just gather around a bonfire and mourn the uktena tribe members who lost their lives on pickens day? grandpa’s always the one who leads the tradition…it takes a toll on him, remembering all the lives, the spirits that have passed...” she says, biting down on her bottom lip anxiously as her eyes land on her grandfather’s trailer just a few feet away. 

 

she knows her grandpa gets a little more distant and emotional during pickens day, and she knows exactly why, but it doesn’t hurt any less to see him so detached from the people he calls family. cheryl follows her gaze before she smiles and kisses the corner of toni’s mouth.

 

“go see him, t.t.” she says encouragingly. toni hesitates before she sighs and nods once, her hand slipping out of cheryl’s grip as she makes her way toward his trailer. she glances back at the serpents gathered around the fire, smiling at the sight of the green serpent stitched onto the red leather jacket that cheryl’s wearing before she climbs up the steps to her grandfather’s trailer.

 

“grandpa?” she calls out, her knuckles rapping against the door softly. she slowly opens the door, peeking her head inside to find her grandfather drinking a beer on the couch in the small living room, his eyes filled with sadness as he looks up at the sound of her opening the door. he simply smiles before he casts his eyes down to his hands once more, and toni finally notices the photos he’s holding, her expression turning grim as she sighs and makes her way inside. 

 

“grandpa, what are you doing?” she asks softly, moving forward to sit down beside him. thomas says nothing, but as soon as she’s settled down beside him on the couch, he simply holds up the photographs in his hands, and toni looks down at them and immediately feels a chill run up her spine, her heart pounding in her ears loudly.

 

it’s her parents. pictures of her father when he was younger, one of him at toni’s age with his southside serpent jacket proudly displayed on his shoulders. another of her mother and father together, her mother’s lips pressed to her father’s cheek happily. and the last one…

 

the last one is of her at the age of six with her parents, her mother holding her hands as she’s perched up on her father’s shoulders, laughter etched on all three of their faces. the pictures are a little faded in age, but they’re still there, and toni can’t help but brush her fingers over her parents faces longingly, as if she can somehow bring them back to life with a simple touch…

 

she misses them. god, does she miss them so much…it hurts toni to think about them. what would they think of everything she’s done with her life so far? what would they think of cheryl? would they approve of her?

 

toni blinks back tears, her teeth biting down on her bottom lip so hard, she can almost taste the blood that bubbles to the surface, and she looks up at her grandfather sadly.

 

“where did you find these?” she croaks out, her voice thick with emotion. thomas sighs, his eyes on the photos in her hands as he smiles fondly. 

 

“i’ve always had them…i misplaced them a long time ago, but i was looking through the drawers to find some things for tomorrow, and there they were.” he grunts out roughly. toni swallows thickly and looks back down at the photos, unable to stop the thick tears that fall and splash onto them. she quickly wipes them away, a shuddering breath escaping her as her grandfather grips her shoulder and squeezes it tightly.

 

“there isn’t a day that goes by where i don’t miss your father, toni. after everything that happened with jacob, i found myself wishing that he was still here with us…because if he was, you would never have endured the pain that you did…” thomas murmurs, the guilt in his eyes heavy as he looks at toni with a sad smile.

 

“i feel like i failed him by not protecting you. he told me the day you were born that he didn’t want you to become a southside serpent, yet you joined at a younger age than he did. i promised i’d keep you safe, and instead, you went to juvie and i let you go and live with your uncle while he beat you and treated you horribly-.”

 

“grandpa, stop, please.” toni begs, her tears falling down her cheeks as she wraps her arms around her grandfather and hugs him close, sobbing into his shoulder openly. 

 

god, the only reason she _ever_ put up with jacob’s bullshit is because she didn’t want to burden her grandfather with the task of looking after her, and even though she’s suffered so much pain at the hands of her uncle, she doesn’t regret it. her grandfather was an elderly man, burdened with years of leading the serpents and the pain and suffering of the uktena people…toni didn’t want to add to his struggle. 

 

her grandfather doesn’t cry, toni’s never seen a tear fall from his eye in her entire life, but she can feel him trembling in her arms as he hugs her just as tightly. 

 

“none of this was your fault. you didn’t fail him at all, i…i kept it from you because i didn’t want you to worry. but you didn’t fail him, all you’ve done is care for me and support me and love me…you haven’t failed him or anyone, i promise.” toni whispers softly, pulling away to grip her grandfather’s hands in her own. she presses a kiss to them with a smile, and he sighs before reaching up to touch her cheek affectionately. 

 

“you’re my granddaughter, toni…the only one i have left who’s still here, i should’ve looked after you better-.”

 

“that’s not your job, and i can look after myself. please grandpa, stop beating yourself up about it. i’m in a good place, i’m living with cheryl, and…i’m happy. isn’t that what matters?” toni says with a gentle smile. thomas suddenly smiles widely, a soft chuckle escaping him before he nods slowly.

 

“you are happy…i can see it in your eyes…in your spirit, toni. you’re happier than you’ve been in a very long time. that girl is good for you. if there’s one thing i can do as your grandpa, it’s give you advice, and my advice is don’t you go losing her, you hear me?” he says firmly. toni grins and shakes her head.

 

“wouldn’t dream of it, grandpa. the only way i’d ever let her go is if she didn’t want me anymore…but i’m lucky. she loves me just as much as i love her.” toni says gently, her heart racing at just the thought of the blossom girl standing by the fire a few feet away from her. thomas hums softly, squeezing toni’s hand as he nods before he takes the photos from toni’s hands with a sorrowful sigh.

 

“he’d be proud of you, toni. they both would be…your father wouldn’t have approved of you joining the serpents, but…he would have been proud of the woman you’re becoming...of the love your experiencing.” he says with complete and utter sincerity. toni smiles and looks down at the photos, and she’s about to reply when thomas lets out a shaky breath and holds the photos out to her.

 

“keep them. they’re your parents, and it hurts to know i spent so much time with them and you so little.” he says. toni looks at him in surprise and shakes her head.

 

“no, grandpa, i have a photo of them, it’s okay-.”

 

“toni, i’m probably not gonna be around for much longer, so you might as well take them from now.” he says with a chuckle, but the sadness in his eyes has toni whimpering as she bites down on her trembling bottom lip to stop herself from crying.

 

“don’t say that…” she whispers emotionally. she knows her grandpa is sick, he has been for a while, but he’s still got fight left in him, she knows he does…she can’t go losing him, too, it hurt enough losing her uncle despite everything he’d done to her…she’s lost too much family at this point…

 

“take them. i want you to have them, toni.” he says a little more firmly, and toni licks her lips, hesitating for a few more moments before she finally relents and takes the photos from his hands, enveloping him in another hug as she does.

 

“thank you.” she whispers. he rubs her back comfortingly, the both of them staying wrapped in each other’s embrace for just a little longer.

 

she was all he had left…the only topazes left, really…

 

_i need to start visiting him more, spending more time with him…_

 

at the end of the day, he was right…he wasn’t going to be around forever…and he was her family, the only family she had left…

 

he sighs and pulls away, pinching her cheek with a smile before he claps a hand on her thigh.

 

“come on, let’s go see what those other rascals are up to.” he grumbles. toni smiles and wipes away her tears before she grips the photos in her hands and slides them into her pocket carefully.

 

she knows exactly where she’s going to hang them in thistlehouse, she just hopes cheryl will be okay with more photos being placed on the wall…

 

she makes her way to the door, holding it open for her grandpa and gripping his forearm to help him down the steps of his trailer slowly.

 

as soon as they’re walking toward the fire though, toni knows something is wrong. a group of serpents are seated by the fire, some of them on the ground, and some of them on the logs surrounding it while standing right beside the roaring fire in the middle of them all is cheryl, her voice ringing out loudly and echoing in the sky.

 

“…and we can’t just let hiram get away with holding a celebration at pickens park! we have to do something, we have to let the serpents voices be heard! we may have lost the southside, but we didn’t lose our pride! the third law clearly states ‘a serpent never sheds it’s skin, or shows cowardice’! it’s time for us to stand up for ourselves!” cheryl says passionately. toni blinks in confusion as thomas frowns beside her, the both of them coming to a stop beside sweet pea and fangs, who are watching cheryl with excitement shining in their eyes, both of them nodding in agreement to her words.

 

“what’s going on?” toni whispers. sweet pea grins at her and raises an eyebrow before nodding at cheryl.

 

“she’s suggesting we protest at pickens park tomorrow during hiram’s little event.” he murmurs. 

 

wait, what?

 

toni’s lost for words, staring at cheryl in complete and utter shock. what was she doing? where the hell did she come up with this idea from? a protest?

 

_“…seeing as it’s my father hosting the event at pickens park, i was hoping you’d maybe skip it in protest?”_

 

goddamn it, veronica…

 

toni looks at cheryl in surprise, sees her girlfriend smile at her before she’s looking at thomas beside her with determination. toni hears her grandfather inhale deeply before he’s pursing his lips and looking to f.p and jughead, both of whom are exchanging worried glances.

 

“cheryl, i’m happy that you want to fight for the serpents and the uktena tribe’s history, but there’s no doubt in my mind that if we show our faces at pickens park tomorrow, hiram lodge will have us all arrested.” he says firmly. toni’s heart skips a beat at that.

 

she can’t get arrested again, sheriff keller told her that another arrest on her record would result in her being thrown right back into juvie…

 

“so? let him arrest us. wouldn’t be the first time we’ve had cuffs slapped on us. cheryl’s right, we need to stand up for the southside, for the uktena tribe, for our people who lost their lives! and who better to do it with than a blossom?!” sweet pea says loudly, grinning when there’s soft murmurs of agreement around them. 

 

“and why should we let a blossom even join us in the protest?! it’s her great-great-great grandfather who ordered the murder of our people! why did we even let her join the serpents in the first place!?” toni glares furiously at road dog, an older member of the serpents who is sitting beside birdie, and birdie rolls her eyes at him as toni immediately steps forward to defend her girl.

 

she’s about to tear him a new goddamn asshole-

 

“hey! cheryl’s done nothing but help us since before she even put the serpent jacket on! she’s an integral part of this gang and if you don’t like it, then go join the trash that betrayed us and joined the ghoulies! at least she’s trying to make an effort to atone for her ancestor’s sins! besides, they weren’t even _your_ people, white boy!” toni growls angrily. road dog scoffs and glares back at her, and he’s about to say something when his eyes land on thomas behind her. he winces and backs down, doesn’t say anything more as cheryl speaks up once more.

 

“i know i have blossom blood in me, but the truth is, the serpents are more my family than the blossoms ever were! i want to fight for them! which is exactly why we should protest tomorrow! pickens day shouldn’t be a celebration anymore, it should be a day of mourning! a day of remembrance for the uktena people who lost their lives!” cheryl cries out. birdie sighs and smiles at her, clearly impressed with her passion, and toni has to admit, she is too.

 

she knew cheryl felt strongly about all of this, but she’s putting so much effort into this…god, it’s only making toni impossibly fall in love with her even more, but what she’s asking them to do could be dangerous…

 

what if they all got arrested?

 

“look kid, i love your passion, but that’s what the serpents have always seen it as.” birdie says firmly, but cheryl shakes her head. 

 

“but the rest of riverdale doesn’t! none of them even know the truth, they just believe the lies that people like hiram and my family have fed them! it’s time they were informed!” cheryl calls out clearly, her voice strong as a few more of the serpents begin nodding in agreement with her. f.p looks around before his eyes land on thomas, who clears his throat and raises his head high, and toni can see the pride shining in his eyes as he looks at cheryl before he turns to toni.

 

“you sure know how to pick ‘em, toni. i told you, don’t let her go…” he mumbles before he’s making his way over to her, a smile on his face as he comes to stand beside her, and toni finds herself grinning widely.

 

she may never know if her parents would approve of cheryl, but at least she has one the knowledge that one member of the topaz family definitely does.

 

“cheryl raises a good point! our story has been kept under the tarp of the northside for too long, twisted and turned into a story of heroism instead of the tragedy it truly was! a peaceful protest is exactly what we need to let our voices be heard!” he turns to look at cheryl now, and he bows his head to her with a smile.

 

“i think the idea of a peaceful march in protest of the celebration is a good one. but of course, we have to see what our serpent king says first…” thomas says, turning to jughead with a twinkle in his eyes. jughead scoffs and looks at him in amusement, looking happy for the first time since archie had been bailed out of jail.

 

“i may be the serpent king, thomas, but you’re an elder. you overrule me in every way. if you want the serpents to march, then we’ll march. it’s time the uktena tribe and the pain they suffered is realized across all of riverdale.” he says firmly. a few of the serpents begin murmuring in excitement now, and toni finds herself scrambling over to stand beside cheryl, who immediately grins at her and grips her hand tightly in her own.

 

“cher, what have you started?” toni says with a breathless chuckle, and cheryl squeezes her hand before she raises her head high and nods at her.

 

“an idea, i suppose.” she breathes back. toni rolls her eyes.

 

“more like a revolution…” she mutters, watching as f.p chuckles and makes his way over to them to where thomas is standing. he exchanges a glance with toni and cheryl before he claps thomas’s shoulder.

 

“come on, old man, let’s start putting a plan together, shall we?” 

 

\-------------

 

cheryl finds herself shaking despite herself as pickens park slowly comes into view.

 

she can see the swarm of bodies around the park, some of them laughing and cheering at the stands that sell toffee apples and popcorn and hotdogs, almost the entire population of riverdale enjoying an event celebrating a man who slaughtered innocent men, women and children.

 

it makes cheryl’s blood boil. 

 

if they all knew the truth…the truth of what general pickens had done…

 

she wishes more than anything that she could reach out and grip toni’s hand, needing her girlfriend’s comforting touch right now, but toni is a few feet ahead of her, leading the protest with a megaphone in her hands and nothing but determination and anger shining in her eyes. 

 

cheryl couldn’t be prouder. 

 

sweet pea and fangs are at either side of her, the both of them with their mouths taped shut holding signs that say ‘sacred land’ on them, and cheryl purses her lips beneath her own strip of tape and shrugs her serpent jacket closer around her shoulders, turning her head to look at thomas topaz beside her. he gives her a reassuring nod and a smile, and she raises her head high and lets out a shaky exhale before she continues walking alongside jughead and f.p. 

 

they weren’t going to do anything that could get them arrested. no fights, no punches…just their words, their voices, their _silence_ to show the people of riverdale what lies they’ve been misled to believe. 

 

cheryl spots veronica, betty and archie in the crowd with their parents, veronica’s eyes widening in disbelief before she’s grinning and glancing over at her father, who watches them stalk forward with narrowed eyes. cheryl feels a shiver run up her spine at the sight of him, and part of her wants to sink her fist into his face for what he did to her and toni, but she forces herself to stay focused on the task at hand.

 

archie looks to his father with a frown, who simply watches the serpents with a similarly confused look on his face. betty smiles at jughead, who avoids looking at her, equally focusing on the task in front of him with his mouth taped shut.

 

cheryl had made a remark about how it improved his stature in her eyes, and had received a middle finger from him for it. she bites back a laugh at the memory, focuses instead on toni’s bright pink hair shining in the sunlight ahead of her as more people begin to notice the group of serpents marching before them.

 

cheryl feels a rush of pride and holds her head high, the tape over her mouth beginning to itch slightly now as she digs her nails into the palms of her hands and tries to calm her racing heart when she spots sheriff minetta in the crowd eyeing them angrily.

 

_we’re going to be fine, we’re going to be okay, it’s a peaceful protest, they have no grounds for arresting us…_

 

they come to a stop at the podium in the middle of pickens park, cheryl’s eyes watching the many northsiders gather around them before toni turns to face the crowd and raises the megaphone to her mouth. cheryl can feel the nerves coming off her girlfriend from here, but toni bravely surges through it and speaks through the megaphone.

 

“we’re here representing the dead and silenced!” she yells out, her voice echoing through the megaphone loudly and truly getting the attention of everyone in pickens park now. a few people begin murmuring in confusion, as they get closer, and toni looks to cheryl, a hint of fear shining in her eyes.

 

cheryl gives her an encouraging nod.

 

_you’ve got this, babe…_

 

“pickens day is a lie! general pickens slaughtered the uktena tribe, my grandfather’s family!” toni cries out, her emotions getting the better of her as tears prick her eyes, and cheryl bites back her own tears at the sight, wishing more than anything that she could run forward and comfort her girlfriend, but she simply digs her nails into her palm further to stop herself.

 

this isn’t about her. this is about the uktena people, _toni’s_ people…about their truth being exposed to the people of riverdale…

 

“and this land, the land that we’re standing on, the land that will soon give way to a new southside, was stolen from them!” toni says through gritted teeth, her gaze moving over to hiram, who is standing behind the serpents, looking on in complete and utter disbelief as hermione grips his arm tightly, murmuring something under her breath to him. cheryl looks to veronica, sees her watching her parents with worry as archie grips her hand tightly.

 

“and we can’t bring them back but we can and we must honor them!” toni shouts, looking on as the people of riverdale begin to murmur in surprise and confusion. 

 

they’re talking, perhaps believing toni’s words, this is good…

 

toni’s about to say more when hiram’s suddenly charging forward, heading straight for the microphone that’s standing at the middle of the podium with a clear of his throat and a fake grin etched on his face, but cheryl can see the anger behind his eyes.

 

“hey folks! hi, uh…i think we can all be proud to live in a riverdale where young people stand up for justice!” he calls out, smiling down at toni, and cheryl feels her blood run cold.

 

how dare he even _look_ at her after what he did to them-

 

she goes to walk forward, but thomas grips her elbow and tugs her back with a shake of his head, his eyes on hiram and hiram alone, and cheryl can’t read the look on his face at all.

 

what was the serpent elder thinking?

 

“where a young woman can defend the honor and legacy of her grandfather, and where we can celebrate the living legacy of the uktena, who contribute to the rich tapestry that is riverdale! that is the southside! and that will be sodale! so let’s hear a round of applause for that, am i right?!” he says with a light laugh, clapping loudly and grinning when the people of riverdale join in, albeit confused by what the hell was going on. but of course, hiram was a figure of authority as far as they were concerned, and if he was clapping about this…

 

no, no, this isn’t right-

 

toni looks at her grandfather, who purses his lips and shakes his head, silently asking her to back down with a look of defeat in his eyes, but then her eyes move over to cheryl-

 

and cheryl can’t help herself. 

 

they weren’t about to back down without a fight, hiram wasn’t going to win this-

 

she gives her another nod, and toni grits her teeth before she’s shaking her head and yelling into the megaphone once more. 

 

“this isn’t about defending the honor of my grandfather! this is about the truth! the truth of general pickens and the truth of what he did to the true owners of this land! you’ve all been worshipping a false hero! he slaughtered hundreds of innocent men, women and children! he was a monster! you can try and hide it all you want, but my people will never forget the ones we lost at the hands of your supposed town idol!” toni says, clenching her jaw with barely contained anger as she looks straight at hiram to make sure her words are heard by him. he glares down at her just as angrily, that fake smile still plastered on his face, but the rage shining in his eyes is clear to everyone as he steps down from the microphone and moves closer to toni.

 

sweet pea and fangs immediately step forward to protect her, and cheryl growls beneath the tape and makes her way forward through the crowd of serpents angrily.

 

he’s not laying a fucking hand on her-

 

“you’re disrupting a town event, i hope you’re aware of that.” he hisses under his teeth at toni as soon as cheryl is close enough. cheryl rips the tape off her mouth, ignoring the pain as she stands beside toni, taking her hand and squeezing it in her own, and she feels toni relax as soon as she feels cheryl’s touch, squaring her shoulders and looking him straight in the eyes before she raises the megaphone to her mouth once more and turns to face the crowd. 

 

“this is a peaceful protest! we refuse to stay silenced any longer! so do your worst! we’re not leaving until everyone in riverdale knows the truth!” she says firmly. cheryl doesn’t take her eyes of hiram as he makes eye contact with her. cheryl pours as much hatred as she can into this one stare, to let him know that she hates him for everything he's done to not only her, but the rest of the serpents, to the whole town of riverdale...

 

he was a selfish, selfish man...worthy of contending with penelope blossom as the worst monster in riverdale at this point...

 

hiram raises his head high and smirks at her before he hums under his breath and looks to sweet pea and fangs.

 

“i have to say, the stance you’re using before me right now seems mildly threatening, boys.” he says in a low voice that doesn't sound remotely intimidated by the two gang members in front of him, but sweet pea and fangs are equally unintimidated by the man before them, sweet pea cracking his knuckles as cheryl speaks for them.

 

“after what you did to toni and i…having the ghoulies kidnap us and use us as a trade offer for the southside…you’re lucky they’re not pounding you into the dirt.” she says through gritted teeth. sweet pea grunts in agreement, fangs glaring at hiram as he steps closer to toni to hide her from view, and hiram’s eyes narrow before he chuckles without an ounce of humor.

 

“step down, now. don’t do something stupid that you're going to regret for the rest of your lives, kids.” he says under his breath.

 

cheryl ignores the racing of her heart and stands as still as a statue, refusing to move, and toni does the same, her grip only tightening in cheryl's hand more. hiram looks down at their intertwined hands before he sighs deeply and turns to face sheriff minetta.

 

cheryl's gaze moves to the sheriff, and she watches as he nods and begins walking forward, the officers around the park also walking forward with their hands reaching for their batons at their sides.

 

_oh shit…_

 

cheryl squeezes toni’s hand, her heart pounding against her chest wildly out of fear as the serpents look around at the approaching officers anxiously, and sweet pea rips the tape of his mouth and growls under his breath, raising his fists up high, preparing to fight-

 

_no, no, they weren’t doing anything wrong, this was a peaceful protest, they didn't do anything-_

 

"what are you doing?! we haven't done anything wrong!" toni hisses, looking at hiram anxiously, but the man simply smirks and steps away from them to allow sheriff minetta to get closer to them.

 

there’s only three or four officers in the whole park, not enough to arrest all the serpents gathered here, but if there’s a distraction...if there's a distraction maybe they all can get out of here…

 

_toni’s one arrest away from juvie, and sweet pea and fangs can’t afford anymore marks on their records…_

 

cheryl squares her shoulders and makes the decision without a second’s hesitation despite the fact that it's a fucking _gigantic_ decision to make.

 

she’ll be the sacrificial lamb, it doesn’t matter, toni _can’t_ be arrested, she can't get thrown back into juvie-

 

cheryl grips toni’s hand, licking her lips nervously before she leans down to press a kiss to toni’s lips quickly.

 

“get out of here, all of you.” she murmurs under her breath. toni looks at her in confusion, but before she can do anything, cheryl’s letting go of her and pushing past sweet pea and fangs, her whole body trembling with fear over what she’s about to do-

 

she opens her fist and slaps her palm right across hiram’s cheek, barely giving him time to recover before she’s pounding her fists against his chest as hard as she can, and he wraps his arms around her waist to stop her, lifting her off the ground as he does-

 

“CHERYL!” cheryl can't see from how wildly her hair flying around her, but she can hear toni screaming her name-

 

“GET OUT OF HERE, ALL OF YOU! RUN!” cheryl yells at the top of her lungs, causing the serpents to immediately begin fleeing as she kicks her feet at hiram angrily in an attempt to get him to let her go. she hears toni scream again, hears the sound of sweet pea grunting, and she looks up briefly to see toni trying to fight sweet pea off as he drags her away, fangs eventually helping him, the two of them overpowering toni completely as she continues screaming and reaching out for cheryl with tears streaming down her face-

 

“CHERYL, NO!”

 

she’s about to scream at toni to run, but she's ripped out of hiram’s grip and thrown to the ground chest first before she can, her whole body pounding with pain as a loud groan escapes her. the taste of dirt immediately hits her tongue, and a hand is pressed against the back of her neck to keep her head down as rough hands push into her shoulder blades and yank her hands behind her back harshly. she bites back another cry of pain and blinks away her tears as she turns her head to the side to see not a single other serpent has been caught. she can still see some of them fleeing, can still hear toni screaming, but all the other officers are in her line of vision, and she can't help but let out a groan of relief that her plan worked.

 

_it worked, it worked, the others are safe-_

 

“i’ve got this one, go! anyone wearing a serpent jacket gets cuffed, no questions asked!” sheriff minetta roars at the other officers. they immediately scramble around pickens park, and cheryl feels the cold steel of handcuffs bite down on her wrists, clicking into place way too tightly over one hand before the same happens to the other. she takes a deep breath in to try and calm herself down, but it doesn’t work at all as it slowly dawns on her that she's being arrested for the first time in her life.

 

sure, she's done some less than legal things in the past, driving way too fast in jason's car or drinking alcohol despite not legally being allowed to, but a simple bat of her eyelashes and she'd be let go...

 

she's pretty sure that isn't going to work now.

 

she’s getting arrested right now, she's actually getting arrested right now, what the f-

 

"please everyone, go back to enjoying the festivities!" hiram calls out loudly, the people of riverdale loudly murmuring under their breaths now at what has just occurred, and cheryl can almost feel the eyes that are on her, can almost see the looks of either disdain or disgust-

 

“daddy, let her go!” cheryl hears veronica's anxious voice shout out, hears footsteps getting closer until veronica's high heels are in her peripheral vision before hiram’s voice rings out loud enough for her to hear.

 

“she’s interrupted a public event and caused a disturbance, not to mention she attacked me!” he exclaims with a scoff. cheryl doesn’t hear what veronica says, because sheriff minetta bends down close to her ear to whisper into it harshly.

 

“you just made the biggest mistake of your life, kid.” he growls. cheryl purses her lips and cries out as sheriff minetta tugs her up off the ground and onto her feet by her arms, her boots digging into the ground and the the handcuffs around her wrists cutting into her skin, and she forces herself not to cry, biting down on her bottom lip and trying to focus on the fact that toni was safe, trying to focus on the feeling of the leather jacket around her body to remind herself why this was worth it...

 

“cheryl blossom, you are under arrest…”


	4. it's just something that is

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys enjoy this one! i promise we'll be getting into a proper storyline from the next chapter onwards, i know it's been a bit slow with this fic, but we'll get there! 
> 
> also, still contemplating if i should include the gryffons and gargoyles storyline in this fic, just because i'm kind of unimpressed with what the show has given us so far (granted, it's only been three episodes but still), and i'd like to do my own spin on it, but...hmmm, i don't know. what do you guys think?
> 
> i have a storyline set up already, but i could definitely fit another one in here, the one i've got probably won't extend for more than a few chapters. so let me know what you think!
> 
> sorry if there's spelling mistakes or typos, i'm a very tired bean who has had about fifteen hours of sleep this whole week rip
> 
> leave a comment as always, and i'll see you guys in the next chapter!

“toni, stop!” 

 

with a pounding heart that’s thundering in her ears so loudly, she barely hears jughead yell her name, she’s jumping off her bike, ripping off her helmet and rushing toward the police station a few hundred feet in front of her, boots slapping against the asphalt loudly before transitioning to the grass just as powerfully with only one thing on her mind.

 

_cheryl, cheryl’s in there, she’s in there-_

 

“toni, no!” 

 

rough hands grip her by the elbow and tug her back so hard, she stumbles over her own feet and collapses into the arms of whoever’s grabbed her, and she’s fighting against whoever is holding her immediately, but whoever it is has help, another set of arms dragging her back away from the station until she sees nothing but shrubbery in front of her, purple and pink flowers beginning to rise in spring’s awakening.

 

“LET GO OF-.” her scream is cut off by a hand covering her mouth in desperation, the smell of cigarette smoke invading her nostrils as jughead jones steps in front of her with a look of concern and panic. f.p jones’s voice echoes in her ear as his strong arms tighten around her chest to hold her in place.

 

“toni, we can’t draw attention to ourselves! if we go walking in there, we’ll all get arrested!” he breathes into her ear, but toni barely hears him.

 

she doesn’t care. she doesn’t _fucking care_ if she gets arrested again, cheryl is in there, alone and more than likely scared out of her mind-

 

f.p had led them back to the lakeside for safety, and thankfully, no cops had chased them there, but they were still in danger of being arrested, and it’s been _three fucking hours_ since everything went down. it had taken sweet pea, fangs and her grandfather holding her back to stop her from jumping on her bike and heading straight here, and those three hours had been fucking _torture._ toni has no idea what’s going on, what cheryl’s been charged with, if cheryl’s okay, god, please let cheryl be okay-

 

“toni, if you get arrested, you’re going back to juvie, and i know that’s not what you want! think about cheryl, think about how distraught she’ll be if you end up back there! she needs you, kid, just as much as you need her!” f.p hisses, more in urgency than anger, and finally, finally…toni relaxes in his arms, stops kicking and stops trying to scream as jughead looks behind her at his father with a curt nod.

 

she can’t go back to juvie…she can’t go back to that fucking place, she can’t leave cheryl behind, she can’t…what if she died in there? what if she died and cheryl was left all alone once again, she can’t do that to the girl she loves…

 

but she’s in there all alone right now, and fuck, toni’s already spent the last two weeks watching her with worry ever since cheryl admitted to trying to kill herself, even though cheryl had reassured her a million times that she wasn’t in that dark place anymore. what if this brought her right fucking back to it? toni’s never felt so _fucking helpless_ before in her life. not even when they were kidnapped by the ghoulies did she feel this fucking defeated…

 

she chokes on a sob, and f.p finally lowers his hand from her mouth as she breathes heavily against him, tears falling before she can stop them as she sags against him in defeat. jughead sighs and immediately grips her shoulders in a reassuring squeeze.

 

“she’s all alone in th-there, we have to help her, please…” toni manages to choke out through her tears. jughead tugs her into his embrace, rubbing her back soothingly as toni grips the back of his leather jacket with a loud cry.

 

“we’re gonna help her, toni. no serpent stands alone. back up is on it’s way, they should be here any second…” toni pulls away from him with a hiccup of confusion, her eyes burning as she looks up at jughead to see him smiling.

 

“b-back up?” she croaks out. he opens his mouth to reply before f.p steps forward and whistles loudly, waving his hands in the air to get the attention of someone behind the bushes they’re hiding in.

 

“they’re here.” he says, gripping jughead’s shoulder, and his son lets go of toni and turns quickly just as there’s the sound of footsteps-

 

“ronnie.” toni breathes, her heart _soaring_ at the sight of the raven haired girl that emerges from the corner, a frown on her face with her boyfriend right behind her, and fuck, she should be the last person toni wants to see right now because it’s _her_ father that had cheryl arrested, but veronica hates her father almost as much as the serpents do, and cheryl was her friend. toni knows she’ll do whatever it takes to help her red haired girlfriend. 

 

betty’s the last to make an appearance, her eyes wide with worry as she immediately hugs jughead close to her body, and veronica runs forward and wraps toni in her arms, hugging her tightly as toni begins sobbing against the raven haired girl loudly, gripping the back of her shirt to hold herself up.

 

“shh, we’re gonna get her out, toni! daddy’s in there with sheriff minetta, he refused to let me come with him, but i’ll convince him to drop the charges, okay? breathe, shh…” toni swallows down the lump in her throat, blinks away her tears and watches as archie grips f.p’s shoulder and nods toward the station.

 

“do we know anything yet?” 

 

“no, we just got here, cops had us scurrying back to the lakeside, i figured it was best to wait till the heat died down. i need you guys to get in there, find out what she’s been charged with and how we can bail her out.”

 

“you won’t need to bail her out, i can get my father to drop the charges.” veronica says firmly. f.p purses his lips, but says nothing as veronica finally pulls away from toni and looks to her boyfriend. they communicate silently, archie’s eyebrows lifting as he looks at his girlfriend before sighing and turning to his two best friends. 

 

“betty, you and veronica should go. jughead, toni and f.p can’t get in there without getting arrested and sheriff minetta’s not exactly my favorite person. betty, you can play the concerned cousin.” archie says with a frown, and betty scoffs and shakes her head.

 

“no need to play, archie, i _am_ the concerned cousin. let’s go, v.” betty says softly, holding her hand out for veronica to take, and veronica sighs and gives toni’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze before she reaches out and touches archie’s cheek affectionately.

 

“i’ll be back as soon as i can.” archie smiles softly and presses a kiss between her brows before she’s gripping betty’s outstretched hand, the both of them making their way toward the station. toni watches them go longingly, her heart aching at the fact that she’s not fucking following them in there.

 

this is all her fault. she should’ve listened to her grandfather, should’ve backed down and not mouthed off at hiram, but she just wanted to fight for the right of the serpents, fight for her people who died, because fuck, cheryl was right, it wasn’t okay. it wasn’t okay for everyone in riverdale to applaud the man who murdered her family, it wasn’t right for the people of riverdale to believe barnabas blossom was a hero when he slaughtered her ancestors…

 

but now cheryl was in fucking jail and everything they fought so hard for was probably for nothing. cheryl was in there for _fucking nothing…_

 

“i have to go with them. f.p, please…” toni whispers, looking to the man who was like a second father to her pleadingly, and she can see the sympathy shining in f.p’s eyes as he sighs and watches her carefully. 

 

she can’t do this, she can’t just sit on the fucking sidelines while cheryl is _in there_ all alone, what if they were hurting her more than they already have?

 

god, the sight of sheriff minetta throwing her to the ground, it had taken jughead, f.p, sweet pea _and_ fangs to hold her back, all four of them dragging her away despite how fucking hard she tried to shove them off. she wanted sheriff minetta’s fucking head on a pike for how he treated cheryl-

 

“please…” she begs, tears falling down her cheeks, and f.p purses his lips and reaches out to grip her face in his hands, brushing away her tears before he shakes his head.

 

“i can’t let you go in there, toni. we already lost one serpent today to the cell, i’m not losing another. cheryl would never forgive me if you got arrested for charging in there guns blazing. you know that.” he says firmly. toni whimpers, her knees buckling, and archie reaches out and pulls her into his embrace, his large frame hugging her close as toni buries her face into his chest.

 

she’s never been close with archie andrews, but god, right now this boy was the only thing not serpent related around her, the only thing not attached to this entire fucking mess that’s happened, and he fucking saved cheryl’s life.

 

god, cheryl…

 

“veronica and betty have got this, toni. and cheryl’s gonna walk right out of there, probably flip that red hair of hers and talk about how boring it was in her cell.” archie says softly with a light chuckle, but toni’s bottom lip simply trembles, more tears falling as her hold on archie tightens. 

 

“she’s all alone in th-there, archie…” she whimpers. 

 

“cheryl blossom is tougher than any of us, after everything she’s been through…she’s gonna be okay. i promise. one little arrest isn’t gonna bring her down, and she’s never been arrested before. they’re not gonna give her anything more than a slap on the wrist.” archie whispers. toni tries to take his words as gospel, but she got thrown into juvie when she was fourteen, and yes, it was for a far more serious crime than slapping someone across the face, but still. cheryl was also considered a legal adult in the eyes of the law now that she was emancipated, which could only make things fucking worse-

 

the thought only makes toni’s tears fall faster, and she whimpers again and wraps her arms around archie’s back as he sighs and rests his chin on top of her head.

 

“come on b and v, work your magic.” archie mutters.

 

\-----------------

 

she’s counted at least a dozen different patterns in the concrete, yet somehow, she’s still finding more.

 

cheryl’s eyes move over the ceiling down to the side of the wall, a heavy sigh escaping as she avoids staring at the bars on the left of her lest she be reminded of where exactly she is.

 

_keep breathing, cheryl, just keep breathing…_

 

it’s only been a few hours, but being in here is slowly driving her crazy already. it’s nothing but a harsh reminder of the cell she was kept in at the sisters of quiet mercy, and she’s been pinching the inside of her forearm in a desperation to keep herself grounded, but it’s not working. just like in that hellhole, she has no idea what’s going on outside this cell, and she knows the only thing that can bring her out of this mind state is toni, because she’s the only thing that’s ever worked before.

 

nights where cheryl would wake up screaming because of the dreams and memories that plagued her of that nightmarish nunnery would be wiped from her mind as long as she was in toni’s arms, hearing her girlfriend whisper words of comfort into her ear and press kisses to her sweat soaked skin until she relaxed and became still once more. but right now, thoughts of her girlfriend are only fueling the fire currently raging in her brain. she doesn’t know if toni is okay, if she’s been arrested as well, if any of the serpents have, doesn’t know what she’s being charged with, why she’s being held here for so long, when she’s getting out of here or if she even is. 

 

_breathe, cheryl, please just breathe-_

 

cheryl tries her best not to cry at the thought of toni probably freaking out right now. if she hadn’t been arrested as well, then what was her girlfriend thinking? toni was probably panicking, and cheryl’s praying that she if she wasn’t already in a jail cell, she won’t be stupid enough to try and come to the station to see her. she knows sheriff minetta will arrest her the second she sees her, and she knows that the only thing probably stopping her from charging into the station is the other serpents.

 

she’s just praying they’ll be able to keep her back until she’s let out of here.

 

_**if** you’re let out of here…_

 

no…no, she’s going to be let out of here. they can’t throw her in jail for simply slapping hiram lodge, maybe an assault charge or a fine, but actually having her serve a sentence? she’s never committed a crime before…well, no, she has, she’s partaken in plenty of underage drinking at parties and has probably gone just a little too fast in jason’s car, particularly after his murder-

 

_god, don’t think about your dead twin brother right now…_

 

cheryl pinches the skin on her forearm so hard, she can feel the droplets of blood form under her fingernails, her skin also marked with black ink from her fingertips when sheriff minetta made her put them on record for her arrest. 

 

there was a mugshot too. a fucking mugshot of cheryl blossom-

 

she digs in harder despite the blood, wincing in pain and simply finding a new spot to dig her fingers into and ignoring the blotches of black and blue on her forearm, blinking back her tears in a desperation to stay strong.

 

she’s not going to be weak in the face of fear right now. if she can pull through fucking gay conversion therapy, she can pull through this-

 

_don’t think about that fucking place!_

 

cheryl bites back a whine and closes her eyes, focuses on the feeling of toni’s skin beneath her fingertips, smooth with only a few bumps and ridges here and there, old scars that cheryl has yet to learn the stories of…the color of her eyes, a heavenly brown and filled with so much intensity and passion at all times, but also gentle and light whenever she looked at cheryl…her lips, god, those beautiful fucking lips of hers, always slightly chapped, but so full and soft, the way they stretch out whenever she runs the pad of her thumb over them, the way her bottom lip bounces almost hypnotically when cheryl releases it from her touch-

 

the doors burst open, and cheryl’s eyes snap open, all thoughts of toni erased from her mind.

 

she jumps up from the bed she’s resting on, the sleeve of her serpent jacket dropping to hide the marks on her forearm, her heart pounding against her chest as she looks to the entrance to see sheriff minetta there with a frown on his face. he says nothing, steps back and waits for someone else to walk through, and cheryl hears the sound of heels clacking on the ground before a flash of red hair walks through the doors.

 

and cheryl’s heart stops, restarts, and finally, _sinks._

 

no…no, no, what the hell was _she_ doing here-

 

“well, well, well…look how far we’ve fallen, dear daughter.” 

 

the look on penelope blossom’s face right now should be screenshotted and placed under the definition of ‘smug’ in the dictionary. cheryl can practically see the excitement shining in her eyes as she stalks forward, heels echoing loudly with purpose as she comes to a stop right in front of cheryl’s cell, and cheryl is frozen, her knees buckling at the sight before her.

 

penelope fucking blossom. here, in front of her, for the first time since she’d signed the emancipation forms releasing her daughter from her stranglehold.

 

“what the hell are you doing here?” cheryl manages to growl, but she’s unable to contain the shakiness in her voice, unable to stop herself from feeling fucking _scared_ as she curls her hands into fists to stop herself from pinching her forearm further.

 

not that her palms appreciate the way her nails are now cutting up her skin.

 

why was she here, she had nothing to do with cheryl anymore, not now that she was emancipated, she shouldn’t be here, she _can’t_ be here, fucking sheriff fucking minetta-

 

“because, cheryl. as much as you hate me and as much as you try to distance yourself from your last name, you are still a blossom and i am still your mother. they still have your details from when they questioned you for jason’s death, and i’m still your emergency contact.” penelope says nonchalantly with a loud sigh, picking at a spot on her dress and wrinkling her nose in disgust as she looks around the place with an air of superiority.

 

“that doesn’t answer my question. why are you here?” cheryl repeats through gritted teeth. penelope’s responding grin makes cheryl’s ears ring loudly.

 

“well, what better way to see my estranged daughter than when she’s locked up with nowhere else to go?” penelope says in a tone full of false sweetness, as if seeing cheryl is the reason why she’s here, and cheryl knows it’s fucking not. she knows _exactly_ why her mother is here. 

 

“you came here to gloat.” cheryl states with a scoff, teeth bared and heart pounding with rage at the very sight of the woman before her.

 

the woman who threw her into a conversion therapy camp, the woman who abused her for sixteen years, who authorized her being kidnapped along with toni by the ghoulies-

 

god, so much pain. so much fucking pain this woman has caused her, how dare she even have the nerve to show her face to cheryl right now?

 

“oh, such nonsense, cheryl. i’m your mother, and after everything you’ve done to me…of course i came here to gloat.” penelope laughs, her eyes moving over cheryl wickedly, no doubt falling on the red serpent jacket still around her shoulders, and cheryl feels nothing but pride for the red leather adorning her skin burn through her as she scoffs and shakes her head.

 

this woman was nothing but pure evil, and cheryl will never understand how she and jason were bred from the woman before her and a man who was nothing but a murderer and a liar.

 

“you’re not my mother anymore. so don’t sit there and call yourself that. you abused me for sixteen years, physically and emotionally. you ripped away the girl that i loved and when i finally allowed myself to love again, you threw me into a gay conversion therapy program to rip it all away from me once more. and even when i finally managed to escape your evil clutches, when i was finally brave enough to say ‘no more’, you gave the ghoulies permission to kidnap and torture myself and someone who means more to me than you ever will. you are nothing to me!” cheryl can’t contain her anger, the words spitting out of her like venom, bursting forth after sixteen years of pent up rage and aggression towards the woman in front of her, fear making her scarce to do anything about it, and fuck, she’s still scared now, but if being a fucking southside serpent has taught her one thing, it’s never be afraid of someone who bleeds just the same as you do. 

 

she has no reason to fear this woman anymore.

 

penelope’s stare grows cold as she steps closer to the cell, her fingers wrapping around the bars in anger, and at the sight of those clawlike nails that have, at many times, scratched her skin open and made her bleed, cheryl fights back a reflexive wince. 

 

“sheriff minetta, i’d like a moment alone with my daughter, please.” penelope says somewhat calmly despite how hard she’s gripping the bars, and cheryl blinks and looks to the doors to see sheriff minetta is still there.

 

he just heard cheryl say that penelope had a hand in her kidnapping, and he had barely reacted.

 

god, how deep are hiram lodge’s pockets? how much is he fucking paying this man?

 

cheryl scoffs in disgust as sheriff minetta nods and exits the room, the doors slamming shut behind him as cheryl’s attention moves back to her mother, who glares at her angrily.

 

“i did all those things, you insolent child, so i could teach you a lesson! do you think life is about getting what you want, cheryl?! do you think you’re supposed to get your happy ever after?! that’s not the way life works!” penelope barks. cheryl blinks back her tears and tries her best to keep her voice in check, because she does _not_ what to give her mother any power over her emotions anymore.

 

“you think i don’t know that?! jason is dead! he’s gone, forever! the one person in this god forsaken family who understood me, who loved me! and _your_ husband is the one who murdered him in cold blood! do you think that’s a fairytale ending?!” cheryl yells, her tears falling before she can stop them, and penelope, to her surprise, is blinking back tears as well as she grips the bars tighter and bares her teeth.

 

“god, both of you could never understand the sacrifices that need to be made! your brother was just as foolish as you are, why do you think i tried so goddamn hard to open your eyes once he was gone, cheryl?! do you think i wanted you to end up the same way as him?!” penelope screams, her tears also falling before cheryl’s very eyes, but cheryl isn’t swayed by the sight of them at all.

 

penelope blossom’s tears mean nothing to her, not after cheryl’s cried a goddamn ocean for the woman before her, only to receive nothing but more abuse because of it. 

 

“and you what? thought that hurting me and punishing me would stop that? all it did was drive me away further! just admit that you never cared about me and you never will! i was nothing but the _other_ child to you and daddy! so much so that you used me as a punching bag whenever you were upset! so much so that you allowed those vile nuns to torture me! so much so that you allowed the ghoulies to hurt me! do you have any idea what they did to me?” cheryl cries out, her whole body trembling with the adrenaline this confrontation is giving her, almost as much as slapping hiram goddamn lodge in the face did.

 

“i told the ghoulies to leave you be! i told them to simply take you, so you’d finally open your eyes and realize that the serpents are nothing but dangerous, cheryl! being with them is going to get you killed, it already almost has! i told the ghoulies not to hurt you, it’s not my fault they didn’t obey my orders-.”

 

“no, nothing’s ever your fault, is it?! you abusing me wasn’t your fault! you throwing me to the wolves twice now wasn’t your fault! it’s always my fault, or jason’s, or daddy’s, but never yours! and you not loving me? you not treating me like i’m your daughter, treating me instead like some piece of trash you picked up on the underside of your six inch heels? is that my fault too?” 

 

penelope says nothing, her stare cold and her body still, and cheryl finds herself laughing before she can stop herself, even though there’s nothing funny about the situation she’s in, about the conflict she’s right in the middle of. 

 

“you know, throwing me to the sisters, i understood. because you’re nothing but a homophobic, pathetic excuse for a woman. but letting the ghoulies kidnap me? thrusting me into the middle of a war i had nothing to do with just to what? end my relationship with toni? make me see that the serpents were dangerous? the only one who put me in danger was you. as always.” cheryl scoffs, her voice trembling and her fists finally relaxing for just the briefest moment. her palms throb painfully, but at this point, her whole body is aching, so she simply ignores it and doesn’t remove her eyes from the woman in front of her.

 

penelope’s gaze grows harder, and she raises her head high, brushing away her hair that’s escaped the intricate bun at the back of her head as she does. 

 

“i put you in danger? the only danger is those serpents you’re so fond of. i tried to show you, but clearly, you weren’t convinced. seeing as you’re nothing but serpent scum yourself now. god, cheryl, you’re running around riverdale, wearing that jacket with so much pride…and i thought you could stoop no lower when you began dating that pink haired vagrant.” penelope says with a smirk.

 

at the mention of toni by the woman before her, cheryl finds her heart only pounding faster with rage, because how dare she even _think_ about toni, how dare she say such horrible things about the girl who has done nothing but try so fucking hard to glue back the pieces of cheryl that _she_ destroyed, but she keeps herself grounded and simply stares at her mother with nothing but a smile.

 

she can say what she wants…it doesn’t matter. none of it does. toni loves her more than penelope blossom ever did and ever will. and so do the serpents.

 

“i’d happily rot in a jail cell fighting for my true family than ever feel an ounce of sorrow over losing you as my mother.” cheryl says, voice calm and strong and filled with nothing but truth, not an ounce of fear or shakiness evident.

 

and penelope blossom, for the first time in her life, cheryl thinks, sheds a tear for the girl in front of her, cheryl watching in almost a hypnotized state as the drop of liquid falls from her eye and down her wrinkled cheek before she quickly wipes it away and glares at cheryl with nothing but hatred.

 

and for just a moment…god, just a moment, cheryl saw the mother she always dreamed of having.

 

a mother that cared enough to be hurt by the words that left her mouth in anger. a mother who cared enough to shed a tear for the daughter she lost.

 

a mother who loved her.

 

but it fades just as quickly, is replaced instead with a woman with nothing but rage inside her as she steps closer to the bars until her face is almost pressed between them. she reaches through the bars, cheryl flinching back slightly with a racing heart as she points her index finger at cheryl threateningly.

 

and the next words spoken from her mouth are filled with venom and determination.

 

“i swear to you, cheryl…i will stop at nothing to destroy those serpents and everything they stand for. i will burn those jackets to the ground, and you along with them. i _will_ eradicate them from the history of this town, mark my words, dear daughter. and when something bad happens to those precious serpents of yours, including that goddamn viper you call a girlfriend…you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.” 

 

and just like that…cheryl sees nothing but **red.**

 

_she threatened toni. she’s fucking threatening toni-_

 

she throws herself against the cell, arms reaching through the bars as her mother jumps back in surprise, and cheryl’s yelling, roaring at the top of her lungs and tugging at the bars as if she somehow has the power to tear them open-

 

“IF YOU TOUCH A SINGLE HAIR ON HER HEAD, I’LL KILL YOU!” cheryl screams, her hands burning from the strain of gripping the bars as penelope simply smirks and steps out of her reach, triumphant at the end of it all, but cheryl doesn’t care.

 

she fucking threatened toni-

 

penelope turns away from her, making her way back toward the doors with her heels echoing in the room, and cheryl follows her until she can go no further, the bars around her suddenly suffocating her, smothering her-

 

“DO YOU HEAR ME?! I’LL KILL YOU!” cheryl roars, tears of anger welling in her eyes as she screams and pulls on the bars uselessly. penelope walks out of the doors without a second glance, leaving cheryl a sobbing, helpless mess behind her.

 

toni, she needs to get to toni, she needs to keep her safe from her mother, her fucking _mother_ , what was she going to do, what did she fucking have planned-

 

it wasn’t just toni. it was all the serpents. she threatened all of them. sweet pea and fangs and god, even jughead and f.p, this wasn’t right-

 

she sinks against the bars, her serpent jacket her only source of warmth as she buries her face in her hands and allows herself this moment of weakness, of fear and anguish before she bares her teeth and pushes herself back up.

 

_fight, kid, fight, fight, fight-_

 

“HEY! HEY, LET ME OUT OF HERE!” cheryl screams as loud as she can, her throat burning from the strain as she bangs an open palm onto the bars. she ignores the pain on the cuts already on them and continues hitting the bars for what feels like a good five minutes before the doors open and sheriff minetta walks through, glaring at her angrily. he removes the baton from his belt and whacks the bars where cheryl’s hand was just a second ago, the red haired girl jumping back with a wince at the action.

 

“hey! quiet down or i’ll keep you locked in here overnight!” he growls. cheryl immediately springs forward and glares at him.

 

“how much longer am i going to be in here?” she hisses. sheriff minetta rolls his eyes and suddenly begins fiddling with the keys at his belt. 

 

“lucky for you, not another minute. you’re lucky you’ve got good friends, red. veronica lodge has somehow managed to convince her father to drop the assault charges against you. if it was me, i’d keep you locked up in here and take every penny you own, but lucky for you, i’m not the one pressing the charges. you’re free to go.” he deadpans, the key locking into place and echoing as it turns. he grips the door and opens it, and cheryl blinks a few times before she’s stepping forward, unsure if this is a joke.

 

she’s free to go? no charges, no fines, no nothing?

 

she doesn’t move, too afraid that sheriff minetta might be playing a game here, but when sheriff minetta rolls his eyes again and waves her forward impatiently, she cautiously takes a few steps closer.

 

“hurry up, i haven’t got all day!” he growls. cheryl licks her lips, and the second her boot is over the threshold, she’s rushing toward the double doors with only one thing on her mind.

 

_get to toni, i have to get to toni-_

 

she throws the doors open, is met with the sight of desks and a handful of officers who look up at her with a frown before there’s a flash of blonde hair and a body is barreling into her, cheryl grunting as warm arms wrap around her. 

 

“thank god! are you okay, cheryl?” betty cooper’s voice echoes in her ear with worry, and cheryl blinks in surprise as betty pulls back and lifts a hand to touch cheryl’s cheek with a look of concern etched across her beautiful features. veronica lodge is just over her shoulder, watching cheryl with a soft smile, and cheryl simply nods and grips her wrist, her eyes scanning the room for any sign of a serpent jacket. when she finds none, she feels relief sweep her before her mother’s words echo in her mind once more.

 

“is toni okay? where is she?” cheryl asks urgently. veronica sighs and looks around them quickly to check no one is eavesdropping before she nods.

 

“she’s freaking out, but she’s okay. they’re outside the station, hiding in the bushes. we need to get you out of here before toni comes barging in here and gets herself arrested.”

 

“my mother. she was here, did you see her?” cheryl whispers, eyes wide and frantic as she tries to calm her racing heart, and betty frowns and nods once.

 

“yeah, veronica and i tried to stop her from going in to see you, but sheriff minetta refused to let us even talk to her. she left like five minutes ago-.”

 

“miss blossom? we need you to sign these papers.” cheryl turns at the interruption to see sheriff minetta beckoning her forward with a finger impatiently, a clipboard in his hands, and cheryl takes a deep breath in and looks to veronica.

 

“ronnie, go tell toni they let me go and everything’s okay. i’ll be out in a second.” veronica purses her lips, but nods and gives cheryl’s shoulder a gentle squeeze before she makes her way to the entrance of the station. betty grips cheryl’s hand, but pauses when she sees the marks on her palms, and cheryl is thankful in this moment that her forearm is concealed by the sleeve of her jacket as betty’s brow creases in concern before she looks up at her cousin in shock.

 

“cheryl-.”

 

“i’m fine. let’s go, i want to get out of here, cousin betty.” cheryl whispers hurriedly. betty sighs, but grips her hand loosely to prevent causing her further injury and drags her toward sheriff minetta. 

 

toni was just outside those doors, cheryl was so close to her-

 

as soon as she comes to a stop in front of the sheriff, he holds the clipboard up to her with a frown.

 

“better not see you in here again, kid. i won’t be so lenient next time and neither will mr. lodge.” 

 

and god, cheryl wants to glare at him, wants to tell him that she knows he’ll arrest anyone hiram lodge tells him to because he’s nothing but a slave to the man, but she keeps her mouth shut and simply bites down on the inside of her cheek to stop herself as she grabs the pen at the top of the clipboard and quickly signs the bottom of the discharge papers with her name. sheriff minetta nods at her before looking to the entrance of the station.

 

“go on, get out of here.” 

 

cheryl doesn’t need to be told twice. she turns on her heel and runs straight for the entrance, boots echoing on the tiled floor. betty’s right behind her, and it surprises cheryl that she’s even here.

 

perhaps betty was more thankful for her help in exposing her father as the black hood than she realized. 

 

as soon as she bursts through the front doors, she groans at the breath of fresh air, closing her eyes and taking a second to soak up the sun, something she never even thought of as a luxury before this. she’ll never take it for granted again.

 

“come on, they’re this way.” betty tugs on her hand lightly, leading her down the stairs and toward the bushes to the left of the station a few hundred feet away. cheryl picks up the pace, betty right beside her, and as soon as they round the corner, cheryl only sees a flash of serpent jackets and black and red hair before all she sees is pink.

 

“CHERYL!” 

 

the second that familiar scent hits her, cheryl’s crying, tears falling as toni’s body slams into hers roughly, the serpent girl’s arms wrapping around the redhead tightly as cheryl buries her face into the crook of toni’s neck. 

 

she’s here, she’s safe, she’s safe, she’s in her arms-

 

“toni, thank god!” she manages to choke out through her tears, a shaky sigh escaping her when it hits her that toni is crying just as hard into her shoulder.

 

“are you okay? d-did they hurt you?” toni blubbers out, pulling back and gripping cheryl’s face in her hands as her eyes roam all over the girl in front of her in desperation. cheryl simply shakes her head in toni’s hands.

 

“no, i’m okay, i promise.” cheryl whispers, and toni’s bottom lip trembles before she pulls cheryl into her arms once again, cheryl breathing her in and feeling a sense of immediate calm wash over her as toni rubs her hands up and down cheryl’s back with a soft coo. 

 

“i’m here, baby, i’m here…thank god you’re okay…” toni breathes softly into her ear. 

 

“what happened?” cheryl hears f.p ask. she pulls away from toni reluctantly and looks to the former serpent king with a sigh, but before she can answer, veronica is doing it for her with a smug smirk on her face.

 

“i got him to drop the charges, like i said i would. i reminded him that i’m well aware of what he’s doing to archie and that i wasn’t going to let him target cheryl as well. he agreed that i was going through enough with archie and said he’d drop the charges. god…no matter how hard he tries to deny it, i _know_ he’s the reason archie’s on trial for murder-.”

 

“it doesn’t matter right now, ronnie. let’s just celebrate the fact that we got cheryl out. are you okay?” archie says with a clench of his jaw, his eyes on cheryl as he moves past his girlfriend to reach out and grip cheryl’s shoulder. she smiles at him softly, her hand immediately gripping toni’s in her own. 

 

“i’m fine, archie. thank you, veronica.” cheryl says softly, smiling at the latina girl as she bows her head with an equally gentle smile.

 

“of course, bombshell, i wasn’t gonna let you rot in there. toni would kill me.” she teases, winking at the pink haired serpent, who snorts and shakes her head.

 

“trust me, right now, i’d rather kiss you than kill you.” 

 

“oh, well, as tempting as that offer is, antoinette, i don’t think my lovely boyfriend would appreciate me locking lips with another woman.” she says with a grin.

 

“he wouldn’t.” archie grunts out, but he grins all the same as cheryl rolls her eyes and turns to look at her girlfriend.

 

god, three hours apart, just three hours and cheryl felt like she was going insane. but she’s here, she’s _here_ , with that hair and those eyes and those lips and that body and that fucking gentle soul that cheryl loves so much-

 

“that’s okay, there’s only one lady i’m locking lips with.” toni whispers, and before she even gets the chance to, cheryl’s wrapping her arms around toni’s waist and pulling her in close, crashing her lips against her girlfriend’s eagerly and relishing in the soft whimper that toni lets out as soon as their lips make contact. 

 

“hey, lovebirds, as much as i’d love to leave you here, we should probably get the hell away from the station.” f.p says with a chuckle, causing toni and cheryl to pull apart noisily as they look at him in a slight daze, and cheryl clears her throat before her eyes widen.

 

her mother-

 

“f.p, penelope came into the station to see me. she gloated for a good five minutes and we got into an argument…she said she was gonna stop at nothing to bring the serpents down. she threatened you, all of you…and toni.” cheryl says anxiously, looking at her girlfriend with worry. toni’s jaw clenches, her eyes immediately hardening at the thought of cheryl’s mother before she reaches up to cup cheryl’s face with her hands once again.

 

“baby, don’t worry about me-.”

 

“i worry, toni! you know what my mother is capable of, you’ve seen it with your own two eyes! god, toni, if she ever touches you-.”

 

“hey, she’s not gonna get the chance, kid.” f.p grunts out. cheryl turns to look at him, watches as he looks at the both of them with determination shining in his eyes as he nods.

 

“i made you a promise when you helped get me out of jail, cheryl. you asked me to keep toni safe no matter what, and that promise still stands. penelope’s not getting anywhere near either of you again, alright?” f.p reassures her with a smile. cheryl bites down on her lower lip, shoots another worried glance at her girlfriend, but toni chuckles and leans up to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

 

“i’m gonna be fine, cher. penelope can threaten me and the serpents all she wants, she’s not gonna get close to hurting us.” toni says softly. cheryl swallows thickly once again, but nods as f.p sighs and nods toward their bikes.

 

“alright, let’s get the hell out of here…the sun’s almost done and we’ve got a bonfire to attend. archie, betty, veronica, you’re welcome to join us.” f.p says, looking to the core four with a smile, and cheryl’s surprised when all three of them nod.

 

“sounds like a plan. let’s go.” archie says, gripping veronica’s hand with a smile. toni squeezes cheryl’s hand in her own before letting out a deep sigh.

 

“come on, bombshell…i’m not letting you out of my sight for the rest of the day.” 

 

\------------------

 

“toni?”

 

she grips the pillow beneath her head tighter, but still doesn’t turn to face her girlfriend at the sound of her name being called, a soft sigh escaping her that quickly turns into a dull cough as she clears her throat.

 

“yeah?” she rasps out, licking her dry lips as more tears fall down her cheeks silently.

 

she doesn’t want cheryl to see her like this…

 

pickens day is always a bit of an emotional rollercoaster for her. ‘the mourning’ took a toll on her, watching her grandfather stand by the bonfire and read the names of all those who had died in the massacre, her ancestors, her _family…_

 

but it’s not only them that she mourns on this day. when she was younger, the holiday didn’t really mean much to her, but after her parents had died in that accident…toni took this day as a way of mourning her parents as well. when her grandfather would chant by the fire and sing the old native songs of her people after reading he names out, tears never fail to begin falling down her cheeks, but this time, cheryl was there to witness it.

 

toni had told her she was fine, but her girlfriend knows her even better than she herself does. toni doesn’t know how to explain it though. maybe it’s just the pain of having lost so much, but this day always left her with a dull ache inside her chest that couldn’t be erased no matter how hard she tried to do so. 

 

toni feels cheryl shift beside her, a cold arm wrapping around her waist before hot breath is tickling the hair by her ear.

 

“are you okay, t.t.? you haven’t spoken much since we got home an hour ago…” cheryl whispers softly, her other hand moving up to rest above toni’s head so she can brush her fingers through her pink hair. 

 

toni lets out a shaky breath and simply nods once, gripping the hand at her waist with one of her own and pulling it up to press a kiss to the back of cheryl’s hand, still without looking at her. 

 

“i’m okay, baby.” she croaks out. cheryl sighs in her ear, and toni knows she doesn’t believe her, not one bit, but the truth is, she is okay.

 

god, cheryl was arrested today, and everything could’ve ended up so much worse…she could still be in that cell, charged with assault and god knows what else, but she wasn’t. she’s here, right beside her, and is somehow…not upset at all at toni or any of the serpents for her arrest. 

 

what cheryl says next just boggles her mind even more.

 

“are…are you upset at me, toni? for getting arrested?” cheryl says, her voice shaking slightly, and those words cause toni to turn incredulously, her eyes wide with shock as she sniffs and looks at her girlfriend in confusion.

 

“what? no, of course not, cher, why would i be mad about that?” toni asks firmly. cheryl purses her lips, tears shining in her eyes as she simply shrugs and suddenly leans down to press a kiss to toni’s neck softly.

 

“i don’t know…i thought maybe you were mad at me for hitting hiram and causing a distraction to make sure you and the rest of the serpents got away safely.” she mumbles against her skin. toni scoffs, a light chuckle of disbelief escaping her as she does.

 

her girlfriend…truly had a tendency to be silly, sometimes…

 

“cher…yeah, i’m a little upset that you made yourself the sacrificial lamb for us, but that’s what being a serpent is. i told you that, remember? we have to be willing to die for each other, to do anything for each other, and as much as it upset me, it also made me so _fucking proud,_ cheryl. that was so brave what you did, but for the love of god, don’t ever scare me like that again, okay?” toni says sternly, tucking a finger under cheryl’s chin to lift her gaze up from the hidden depths of her clavicle. 

 

cheryl bites down on her bottom lip to hide a smile as she simply nods once.

 

“i’m sorry.” she whispers. toni simply hums in response as cheryl sighs and presses a kiss to her lips gently. 

 

“don’t be sorry, baby. if anything, you should be mad at me and the serpents. we’re the reason you were arrested-.”

 

“no, toni, don’t say anything like that. i didn’t regret it for a single second that i spent in that cell, and after seeing ‘the mourning’ tonight at the bonfire…it was worth it. god, the pain in your grandfather’s eyes…” cheryl whispers, her voice trembling with emotion that only causes toni to swallow thickly and nod before more tears are falling down the side of her face and into her hair.

 

“yeah…it’s a lot to take in.” she murmurs. cheryl presses a kiss to her temple, kissing away the tears with a smile, and toni reaches up to brush the pad of her thumb over cheryl’s flushed cheek softly. 

 

“it is.” she says simply. toni sighs.

 

“i’m sorry…i know i haven’t been very vocal since we got back from the bonfire, but-.”

 

“they were your ancestors…your family…it’s not just your grandfather whose pain i saw, toni. i saw yours, too…” cheryl states with a sad smile. toni purses her lips and simply nods her head, her eyes moving up to the ceiling in sadness before they move to the pictures on the side of the wall just above the dresser.

 

the pictures of her and the boys, jughead and sweet pea and fangs…the pictures of her and cheryl…the pictures of her parents, the three her grandfather had given her yesterday now on display as well…

 

“i always find myself thinking of them, you know? my parents…without fail, since they died, every time pickens day rolls around and we do ‘the mourning’, i think of them. when i was fifteen…after spending time in juvie the year before, i just felt like shit…i couldn’t take it. after the bonfire, i went back to mine and uncle jake’s trailer and i stole some of his booze to cope with the pain. the next morning, he came barging into my room with his belt to whip me for stealing his alcohol.” toni says nonchalantly despite the anger that sweeps through her at the memory of jacob topaz kicking her door open, yellow teeth bared in rage as he took off his belt and lifted toni’s shirt up to expose her back, pinning her down by the back of her neck with one hand and resting his knee and shin across her thighs to keep her pinned down as he slapped the leather across her skin and ignored her screams of pain as he did.

 

cheryl gasps softly, her eyes wide and immediately brimming with tears as she suddenly reaches underneath toni’s shirt, her fingers running over the two thin lines across the middle of her back, and toni arches her back off the bed to allow her to do so with a sad sigh.

 

“they’re from him? from…from that?” cheryl whispers. toni swallows the lump in her throat and nods slowly, eyes closing as she licks her lips.

 

"yeah...a lot of the scars on my body are from him." toni says roughly. cheryl purses her lips, and toni knows she's thinking about her own scars that mark her body because of her mother...

 

it's crazy that the shared pain of abuse is what's brought them here today. toni still remembers seeing that look in cheryl's eyes the first day she met her, that look that toni had seen a million times in her own eyes every time she looked into the mirror. the way cheryl had taken that ice and spread it over toni's neck...she knew exactly what to do. it hurts toni to even think about...to think about cheryl's abuse, to think about her own abuse...

 

god, their families were so fucked up...

 

"it's scary...that we have that in common. it hurts me to think about it." cheryl murmurs, ducking down to press her lips to toni's pulse point gently. toni simply hums and rakes her fingers through cheryl's hair with a nod.

 

“i know. it hurts me to think about it, too...thinking of penelope hurting you and not being there to help you...i know we didn't know each other yet, but it still hurts...or maybe i'm just too over emotional today..." toni mumbles, and she sighs as cheryl shakes her head.

 

"i don't think so..." she says softly. toni smiles up at her before she licks her lips and shakes her head as well.

 

"i don't know, cher, i just feel a million different things on this day. i’m sad about my ancestors, i’m sad about my parents, but i’m angry about how my ancestors were slaughtered and i’m pissed off at my parents for leaving me, because if they hadn’t, uncle jake never would’ve touched me…it’s just all these different things, and sometimes it’s hard for me to process everything. and i’m sorry, cher, i shouldn’t be pushing you away, but to be honest? i never know what i’m feeling on this day…but i do know for the first time in almost seventeen years, i’m _happy._ and i’m happy because of you. because you’re here…and for once in my life, i’m not alone on this day.” 

 

cheryl lets her speak without interruption, and at those words, she lets out a soft whine before she leans down to kiss toni’s lips passionately, toni smiling against her as she reaches up to run her fingers through red locks affectionately. 

 

she's telling the truth. toni's never spent a single moment of this day happy ever since she first began celebrating it at the age of five, but this time...this time it was all so different. and maybe she should add guilt to the hundred other emotions she's feeling, because surely she shouldn't be feeling happiness kissing her girlfriend while the rest of the serpents mourned the dead and silenced of the uktena tribe, _her_ people, but another part of her thinks that maybe her ancestors, and god, even her parents, would want her to spend this day _happy_ , would want her to celebrate their lives instead of mourn their deaths by spending her own life with the people who she cared about, the people who brought her joy and happiness...

 

cheryl doesn’t pull away from a good two minutes, her lips moving languidly against toni’s before she finally leans back with a breathless gasp.

 

“sorry, t.t. i got carried away-."

 

"don't apologize for kissing me...like, ever, cher." toni says with a laugh. cheryl returns it, her eyes soft as she brushes her thumb across toni's bottom lip gently, her nail digging slightly into her skin as she does.

 

"do you want to talk about your parents, toni? i feel like you’re always here for me, always there to hear me cry and whine about my woes, but i’m never there for you to do the same-.” 

 

toni places a finger over cheryl’s lips to silence her as she immediately shakes her head.

 

god, when was cheryl going to understand just _how much_ she meant to her…

 

“cheryl, stop it. say anything like that again and i’ll pin you down to this bed and tickle you to death. you’ve been there for me plenty of times, and the truth is…when it comes to my parents, there isn’t much to talk about. they’ve been gone for so long now, cher, i’ve shed enough tears about their absence in my life. this day is just…a weird day. and maybe it’s ‘the mourning’, or maybe it’s the songs, and hearing my grandfather sing them with such sorrow, but…this day just always leaves me feeling heavy. can you understand that? it’s nothing that i can explain, it’s just something that _is._ ”

 

toni knows it's confusing the second the words leave her mouth, but she _truthfully_ can't think of any other way to explain it. it was just an emotional day that left toni feeling drained for reasons she can't really explain...

 

cheryl frowns, but says nothing, simply nods and leans in to press a kiss to her brow, trailing her lips down her face and causing her pink haired girlfriend to giggle before she kisses her lips softly.

 

“okay, t.t.” she says simply. 

 

toni lifts her hand up with a smile, fingers curling around her wrist and lips inches away from her palm before her eyes land on the deep, crescent moon cuts in the skin of her hand, her eyes trailing up to the equally blue and black blotches that have a cut of red through them on her forearm with a soft gasp.

 

“cheryl, your arm…did minetta fucking do this?” toni growls, immediately sitting up and clicking the bedside light on. she pulls cheryl’s arm under it to examine the marks with a frown, nothing but rage coursing through her, but cheryl gently tugs her arm out of toni’s grip with a sigh.

 

“it was me, toni. i was anxious in that cell all by myself, i…i kept flashing back to my time with the sisters, and i didn’t know what else to do to keep myself anchored…” cheryl mumbles. toni looks up at her in shock.

 

 _she_ did this? but...

 

“so you hurt yourself instead? cheryl…” 

 

this…fuck, this is exactly what she was worried about, she _knew_ getting arrested was going to throw cheryl right back into that dark place she was in when jason died, when her father was exposed as his murderer and killed himself before the authorities could punish him for taking away the one person who loved her-

 

“no, toni, don’t think what i know you’re thinking. i’m fine-.”

 

“you think this is ‘fine’, cheryl?! look at your arm, look at your hands!” toni’s fingers brush over the wounds carefully, the wounds still red raw, but at least not bloody, but cheryl tucks a finger under her chin and forces her to look up into her eyes and away from the wounds marring her skin.

 

“toni, stop it, please? i know you’re thinking i’m going back to my old ways, but i’m not. i was just scared in that cell all on my own, not knowing if you were okay or if you’d been arrested too, and then seeing my mother, it…it was a lot. but i swear i’m okay now.” cheryl says in a reassuring tone that doesn't anything but reassure her girlfriend.

 

toni hesitates, unsure of how to continue this conversation because she’s so fucking worried, but cheryl leans in to kiss her, her thumb brushing across toni’s jawline reassuringly, and toni finds herself sighing as she rests her forehead against cheryl’s in defeat. 

 

“cher, are you sure? we haven’t even talked about what your mother was doing there-.”

 

“we will. _tomorrow._ it’s late, and today has been heavy enough. i don’t want tonight to be about me, i want it to be about _you._ ‘the mourning’ was so beautiful to watch, toni, but i can tell it was also filled with grief and sadness. you deserve the chance to mourn. i won’t have you spending tonight worrying about me when i’m right here beside you, breathing and smiling and _happy_ to be here with you.” 

 

“cher, i told you, there’s not much to talk about-.”

 

“then we won’t talk. i’ll just hold you in my arms so you know that for the first time, you’re not spending pickens day alone with your emotions. i’m right here with you, t.t.” cheryl smiles, that heart melting fucking smile that always has toni smiling right back at her almost automatically.

 

god, she was so, so, so, so in love with this girl before her…

 

“okay.” toni finds herself whispering, and cheryl’s smile only grows impossibly wider as she reaches over toni to click the light back off and settles down onto her pillow, opening her arms for toni to cuddle into it, which she does.

 

she sighs and rests her head on cheryl’s chest, her right arm wrapping around cheryl’s waist and her left arm curled up against her own chest as cheryl runs her fingers through her pink hair delicately with one hand, the other rubbing up and down her exposed arms soothingly. 

 

toni feels cheryl’s soft lips resting against the crown of her head, and toni so desperately wants to spend this time properly grieving her parents and her ancestors, but for once…god for once, toni wants to spend this day of the year being _happy._

 

and even though she’s worried about cheryl, about the marks on her palm and her forearm, about her mother visiting her and what she could’ve said, toni also finds herself smiling at the sound of cheryl’s heart beat pounding softly against her ear, finds herself nuzzling into her girlfriend closer as her breath ghosts over the top of her head.

 

tomorrow was another day. right now, she just wants to be someone’s something special…she just wanted to be someone’s girlfriend...

 

and with the arms around her body tightening more and more by the minute, toni finds herself thanking her lucky stars that that someone is cheryl blossom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i should let you guys know that i was originally going to include the actual 'mourning' ceremony in this chapter, but decided against it, as i'm not native american and would not want to disrespect anyone by trying to emulate something i have no knowledge of. that's why i kind of skipped past it in this chapter. i'm sorry if any of you were looking forward to reading it, but again, i just didn't feel comfortable writing about something so very spiritual to the native people when i myself am not native. hope you guys liked this chapter regardless!


	5. just dreams that can't hurt us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow that flashback episode was something, wasn't it? still super confused, but this gryffons and gargoyles storyline looks a little more interesting now! 
> 
> anyway, i hope you enjoy this chapter, shit is picking up here as well! please leave your comments letting me know what you think! this chapter is a little shorter than the others, sorry for that, but we'll be back to long chapters in the next one!

_“i will eradicate them from the history of this town…”_

 

_the soft sound of water rushing through a riverbank, the feeling of jason’s body pressed against hers in the gentlest, but tightest of hugs before he pulls away, his hand slipping out of her own so easily-_

 

_“jay jay, wait, please don’t go…don’t leave me.”_

 

_jason’s sad smile, replaced instead with penelope blossom’s harsh glare, eyes cold and teeth bared-_

 

_“when something bad happens to those precious serpents of yours, including that goddamn viper you call a girlfriend…”_

 

_needles pressing into her skin, cold ice flooding her veins, harsh voices in her ear-_

 

_“you think of your deviance, cheryl. you think of those horrible, horrible thoughts while you suffer!”_

 

_the loud bang of a gunshot, both her and her twin brother jumping in surprise at the sound before they exchanges glances of confusion, the feeling of the uneven ground of the forest beneath her feet as she makes her way toward the source of the noise with jason right by her side-_

 

_a clearing, a clearing with penelope blossom standing over a body with a gun in her hands…a body with pink hair, wide brown eyes cold and staring with no emotion, no life in them, and a clear bullet hole in the middle of her head-_

 

_“…you’ll have no one to blame but yourself.”_

 

_no…no, no, no, no, no, TONI, NO-_

 

a scream that is ripped from her lungs, barreling past her throat like a shotgun and echoing in the room around her as her arms flail and her legs kick out in panic and terror-

 

toni, toni was dead, she’s dead, penelope killed her, no, no, please, it can’t be real-

 

arms around her chest, holding tightly, and it’s death, cheryl knows it is, it’s jason…it’s jason grabbing her and pulling her away from toni, she has to get to toni-

 

toni’s dead, she’s dead, her body was on the ground-

 

scream after scream after scream as she fights jason’s hold, and she can’t breathe, her lungs deprived of air as thick tears fall down her cheeks-

 

it can’t be real, it can’t be real, it can’t-

 

“cheryl, look at me!” 

 

strong hands grip her face before pink hair enters her line of vision, followed by chocolate brown eyes filled with concern and fear-

 

“cheryl, baby, it’s me! stop screaming!” 

 

_oh god…toni…_

 

cheryl freezes for a moment, just a moment to take in the sight before her…

 

toni’s voice is loud, filled with panic and concern, but she’s _alive._

 

_it was a dream, just a dream, oh god…_

 

it wasn’t real, it wasn’t real at all, oh _thank god-_

 

“t-toni-.” 

 

“shh, i’m here, calm down, baby…” 

 

cheryl can feel the sweat dripping down her brow, can feel it drenching every inch of her skin underneath the blankets her body is covered in and the nightgown she’s wearing, but she’s trembling _so hard_ -

 

“baby, look at me…” her eyes move up, and the second her gaze meets toni, she chokes on a sob and jumps on top of her girlfriend, wrapping her arms around toni’s neck and ignoring toni’s grunt of surprise as she wraps her legs around her waist, too. she buries her face into toni’s hair, loud sobs escaping her chest before she can stop them. 

 

it was just a nightmare, but god, it felt so _real._ cheryl could feel the cold in the air the second the gunshot went off, could feel her heart stop and utterly shatter at the sight of toni dead at her feet-

 

“shh, cher, it’s okay…” toni adjusts herself, moves her legs out from under her own body so that cheryl is sitting in her lap as gentle thumbs move to her sides, rubbing calming circles through her nightgown that’s soaked through with sweat. cheryl doesn’t move for a single second, her body glued to toni’s tightly.

 

god…it felt so _real…_

 

“fuck, cher, it’s never been that intense before…was it the same nightmares or a different one?” toni murmurs, pressing kiss after kiss to cheryl’s hair, and cheryl simply whines and buries her face into toni’s neck further, breathing in her scent to remind herself that she was here, she was alive, she wasn’t dead, _it was just a nightmare-_

 

“cheryl? toni? is everything okay?” a soft knock at the door has toni trying to pull away from her, but cheryl’s panicked whimper as she holds her unbelievably closer has her sighing as she simply yells out with her mouth to cheryl’s ear.

 

“we’re okay, lisa! just a nightmare!” cheryl winces slightly at the sound of toni’s voice in her ear, but she can hear lisa’s loud sigh from behind the door before there’s silence once more. toni presses a kiss to her ear, sighing tiredly against her, and cheryl feels nothing but guilt pound through her, but she can’t bring herself to detach herself from toni’s hold. 

 

cheryl doesn’t even know how long she’s wrapped up in toni’s arms for, but her muscles are aching from how tightly she’s holding her, refusing to let go for a single second, and toni, bless her, doesn’t complain once, spends the entire time rubbing her hands up and down cheryl’s back in comforting circles while she whispers in her ear softly.

 

“i’m here, baby…” her voice is thick with sleep, and cheryl knows she probably woke toni up with her screaming, knows she probably scared the hell out of her girlfriend in the process…

 

god, cheryl _hates_ this. she hates that nightmares continue to plague her despite the fact that she was happy now, she hates that she’s constantly waking toni up with her screams and her crying…

 

toni being dead at her feet, cheryl can’t begin to process it. she’s trying to scrub it from her mind entirely, it’s something she never wants to think about again, but the image of penelope with a gun in her hands and toni on the ground with a bullet hole in the middle of her head-

 

cheryl shudders, and toni sighs and brushes her fingers up and down cheryl’s spine, pressing a kiss to the skin beneath her ear as she does.

 

“baby…” 

 

“i’m s-sorry-.”

 

“don’t you dare. you have nothing to be sorry for, i just wanna make sure you’re okay…” 

 

toni’s fingers brush over her shoulder, moving underneath the strap of her nightgown, and cheryl knows she’s tracing the ink of her serpent tattoo, her lips peppering cheryl’s neck and jaw with kisses despite cheryl’s arms around her restricting her movements. 

 

“do you wanna talk about it, cher?” toni whispers.

 

cheryl hesitates. she doesn’t want to tell toni about it, but fuck, she doesn’t like keeping things from her girlfriend, not one bit. the last time secrets were kept between them, they got into a fight, and cheryl doesn’t want that to happen again. 

 

but how the fuck can cheryl tell her that her dream consisted of her dead body laid on the grass by her mother’s feet? how can she begin to tell toni that ever since her mother had threatened her life, cheryl hasn’t been able to stop thinking about penelope hurting the girl she loved?

 

god, for the longest time, cheryl’s worst nightmare was losing jason, and _that_ came true. this was her new worst nightmare, losing toni, and god, if that came true, too-

 

“cheryl?” toni’s voice says softly into her ear. 

 

she can’t tell her…fuck, she can’t-

 

cheryl shakes her head, and toni sighs, but presses another kiss to her pulse point, her nails digging into cheryl’s shoulders lightly.

 

“okay, okay, we don’t have to talk about it…just keep breathing…” she whispers. cheryl’s nails dig into toni’s back, pulling a soft hiss from the girl as she gathers cheryl’s hair at the nape of her neck and pulls it away from her sweat soaked body. 

 

“maybe it’s the stress from archie’s trial, baby…we don’t have to go, you know? we can just stay home today and ask betty and jughead for updates…” toni says softly. cheryl purses her lips, but says nothing for a few moments.

 

it’s tempting. any day spent alone in thistlehouse with toni is a goddamn blessing, especially with everything that’s going on…

 

but archie _needed_ his friends. his trial began today, and god, cheryl knows she needs to be there for him…he saved her life.

 

“toni, archie needs us, we can’t just bail on him…” cheryl croaks out, finally pulling back to look her girlfriend in the eyes.

 

toni’s watching her with careful eyes, a soft smile playing on her lips as she brushes away the tears staining cheryl’s cheeks with the back of her hand.

 

“i know, baby, but remember what i always say? the number one priority in your life-.”

 

“is me. i know…but i’m okay. it was just a nightmare, t.t. i promise.” she lies easily. toni purses her lips, but sighs and leans in to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth. 

 

“okay…i know you’ll talk to me when you’re ready.” she whispers.

 

god, how could anyone ever think to hurt this girl? her mother…cheryl had to keep her far away from that vile woman, she just _had to…_

 

cheryl’s never felt this love before. and she’s quite positive she never will. toni was it for her. this girl was still here despite the nightmares, despite cheryl’s ridiculously awfuly past…she was still fucking _here._ and just waking up in the mornings, knowing that she wasn’t alone, god, toni was she _it_ for her…

 

she can’t fathom spending a single moment or thought on the idea of toni not being in her life.

 

“toni, i love you so much…you’ve changed my entire life, i need you to know that. you’ve brought me so much happiness, so much joy, i don’t even recognize myself in the mirror anymore. i…god, i can’t even p-put it into words, how much you m-mean to me…how m-much i love you…” cheryl whimpers, hands reaching up to trace over toni’s features, her jaw, her nose, her brows, her cheeks, her lips, god, those _fucking lips…_

 

“i know, baby, shh…you don’t have to tell me this, i _know._ where is this coming from? was the nightmare about me?” toni murmurs, her hand curling around one of cheryl’s wrists as she kisses the fading marks on her palms from her nails digging in the day she was arrested. her eyes are filled with concern, and cheryl’s teeth gnaw at her bottom lip in hesitation, but it’s all the confirmation toni needs as her eyes widen before her hands are brushing cheryl’s hair back from her sweat soaked face. 

 

“god, baby girl, it’s _okay._ i’m here, those nightmares are just that, just dreams that can’t hurt us, okay? i’m here and i’m not going anywhere, cheryl, i promise. i love you too, so much that it _hurts_ some days. don’t cry, please…you’ve got me, cheryl. forever and always, i swear.” toni blinks back her own tears as she wipes away cheryl’s from her cheeks with the back of her hand, and cheryl feels her heart swell ten times in size as she chokes back a sob and cradles toni’s face in her hands, kissing her as deeply and as passionately as she can despite her fragile state. 

 

toni breathes into the kiss, her fingers digging into cheryl’s nightgown to pull her down on top of her until she’s lying on her back, and cheryl fits into the space between her legs easily, as if she was made to rest there, her tongue gliding against toni’s languidly.

 

the taste of her, the feel of her beneath her fingertips…toni’s _alive._ she’s here, and no nightmare was going to convince her that she wasn’t. 

 

_shake it off, cheryl…your mother can try every goddamn play in the book, this girl is **yours.**_

 

cheryl can’t help but smile at the quiet whine that escapes toni as her hands slide underneath toni’s pajama shirt, nails scratching at the heated skin of her stomach. toni pulls away from the kiss noisily with a gasp, head tilting back, and cheryl takes advantage and immediately ducks her head down to the space between her neck and shoulder, tongue lathing over her skin before she bites down on her pulse point gently.

 

“ch-cher, if we continue this, we’re gonna be late to the courthouse…” toni breathes. cheryl hums softly against her skin before she pulls back and presses a kiss to her lips with a smile.

 

“we could always continue this in the shower and save time?” she teases. toni’s eyes widen, and she grins before she pecks cheryl’s lips, childlike excitement shining in her eyes.

 

“race you!”

 

toni grips cheryl’s hips and sits up quickly, plopping her down on top of the bed before she’s giggling like a child and jumping off the bed to get to the shower.

 

cheryl blinks in surprise, unable to stop the affectionate smile spreading across her lips as she rolls her eyes and yells out.

 

“i’m dating a twelve year old!” 

 

she hears toni laugh in the bathroom before the very audible sound of clothes being dropped to the ground echoes out, and cheryl’s jumping off the bed and running into the bathroom before toni can even get a snarky response out. 

 

the second cheryl sees toni’s naked body, she’s frozen against the door frame, watching in awe as her girlfriend pulls the curtain of the shower back and steps inside. she turns to face cheryl, a smirk instantly lighting up her face as she curls a finger to beckon her forward. cheryl reaches for the bottom of her nightgown and tugs it off, up and over her head breathlessly as she hears the water from the shower start. she pulls down her underwear, fully naked as she makes her way toward toni with a smile. she steps over the tub and shivers at the cold water that hits her, but toni immediately pulls her close until their bare chests are pressed together, the both of the moaning into a soft kiss that quickly becomes heated. 

 

cheryl pushes toni underneath the stream of water, the both of them getting hit with cold water, and it’s soothing against her heated skin, but she still reaches behind toni to turn the hot water nozzle lightly, a sigh of content escaping her as it the water warms up. toni trails her kisses down cheryl’s neck, a gasp escaping the redhead as toni’s hands squeeze the skin of her hips, nails digging into her skin. 

 

“are we gonna actually shower during this?” toni laughs against her, teeth biting down on cheryl’s neck lightly. cheryl moans and nods numbly.

 

“y-yeah, after, just please…” toni chuckles before she continues lathing her tongue over cheryl’s neck, and before cheryl can even gather her bearings, toni pushes her up against the wall roughly as she sinks down lower, her lips moving over cheryl’s body the lower she gets. 

 

“toni, oh my god…” cheryl watches in awe as toni sinks down to her knees, her hand moving up cheryl’s calf as she lifts cheryl’s leg to place it over her shoulder. she presses a kiss to the inside of her thigh before she smiles up at her, and god, the sight of that beautiful smile…cheryl _loves her…_

 

cheryl smiles back, her fingers reaching down to rake through toni’s hair affectionately, and toni lifts her head up to press a kiss to her stomach before she ducks down once more.

 

her tongue drags through cheryl’s folds, cheryl gasping in pleasure as her head falls back against the wall with a loud thunk. her hands immediately reach down to grab toni’s, the pink haired girl interlacing their fingers as her tongue moves against cheryl’s center once more. cheryl’s nails squeeze into toni’s hands, a louder moan escaping her and her hips twitching against toni’s mouth as she grips cheryl’s wrists and moves her hands to her hair.

 

“toni…” cheryl breathes, her knees buckling slightly when toni uses her thumbs to spread her open further until she’s once again licking up her folds. her lips wrap around cheryl’s clit to suck softly, cheryl letting out a choked out whimper as the action causes pleasure to course throughout her entire body.

 

“god, keep going, please, toni!” cheryl whines, her nails digging into toni’s scalp as she sinks further against the wall. toni holds her up, hands wrapping around her thighs and holding her up by the hips as she works faster and harder to get cheryl to her climax. 

 

cheryl’s breathing gets quicker, her chest heaving with heavy pants as toni pulls away and drops cheryl’s leg from her shoulder before moving up her body to kiss her deeply, her fingers taking over what her tongue was doing seconds before.

 

“let go for me, cher, come on, baby…” toni breathes into her ear, and with three insistent rubs against her clit, cheryl comes apart against her, nails digging into toni’s back as she buries her face into toni’s neck to muffle her loud moans. toni hisses in her ear in pain but keeps going until cheryl’s body collapses against the wall, her eyes fluttering closed as she whimpers helplessly against toni’s lips. 

 

the water continues to hit them softly, toni watching cheryl’s face with a smile as she peppers gentle kisses all over her face.

 

“you okay, baby girl?” toni whispers. cheryl smiles at the new pet name and nods slowly.

 

“mhmm…i like when you call me that.” she says softly. toni chuckles and kisses her jaw.

 

“what? ‘baby girl’?” she asks. cheryl hums as she nods again, and toni laughs as she kisses her neck.

 

“how kinky of you.”

 

“what? how is that kinky? it’s cute!” toni laughs a little louder this time, and she pulls back to look into cheryl’s eyes, reaching up to brush her wet hair from her face with a soft smile. 

 

“are you feeling better?” she whispers. cheryl purses her lips to stop herself from grinning as she shakes her head.

 

“mmm, not quite yet…let me have my way with you and maybe i will.” 

 

“in that case, my body is yours, miss blossom. do as you please.” 

 

\---------------------

 

“and a chocolate milkshake for you, miss topaz.”

 

“thanks, pop.” 

 

toni grins up at the man himself as he gives her a small nod and a smile, and her eyes move from him to archie in front of her as he plants a kiss on veronica’s cheek, a sad smile on his face as she rests her head on his shoulder.

 

“so…another three weeks of waiting.” veronica sighs, her hand reaching for archie’s on top of the table as he presses another kiss to her hair.

 

“another three weeks of waiting.” he mumbles.

 

the trial had been fairly short, because according to the judge, the police were still gathering evidence and therefore the jury couldn’t come to a verdict without absolutely all of it present. he postponed the next trial for another three weeks, and toni suspects that even once all the evidence is gathered, it will take at least two more sessions before a verdict is reached. the evidence that they had gone over today in the courtroom, however…

 

it wasn’t good. it wasn’t good at all.

 

everything they said made archie look guilty as sin, even toni had a momentary lapse of judgement where she thought it might be possible that archie _had_ killed cassidy bullock, the greendale resident that had apparently crossed paths with them during his and veronica’s romantic getaway to her father’s lodge with betty and jughead. 

 

but one look at cheryl, at the heartbreak in her eyes, and toni knew that archie wasn’t capable of taking a life when he had broken his goddamn hand trying to save cheryl’s. the kid was good, pure goodness, and the thought of him killing anyone was simply ludicrous. but the only reason toni had her doubts is because archie used to work for hiram…and god, that man was capable of making even the most innocent of people turn into something else…something evil.

 

not that her uncle jacob wasn’t already evil, considering is abuse of her in the past, but toni never, ever would’ve thought he’d betray the serpents…betray his _family_ the way he did.

 

her neck almost throbs with the painful memories of that night he almost killed her when they were kidnapped by the ghoulies, and she clears her throat and grips cheryl’s hand in her own, giving it a gentle squeeze as cheryl turns to look at her with a frown.

 

“you okay?” she whispers. toni simply nods before she looks to archie with a smile.

 

“hey, this is a good thing. it’s another three weeks of freedom, okay? just keep looking at the positives.” she says reassuringly. archie clenches his jaw, but nods once before he looks up at the approach of his mother and father.

 

“alright, cheeseburger and fries for my boy and his girl…fries and onion rings for cheryl and her girl.” fred teases, smiling at the two couples as he rests two baskets of food in front of them.

 

“and of course, fries and onion rings for you four as well.” mary andrews says with a wide smile, resting the basket in her hands in front of josie, kevin, sweet pea and fangs, who are seated at the table beside their booth.

 

"thanks, mrs. andrews." kevin says with a smile. sweet pea grins and immediately digs in, slapping away fangs’s hand when he reaches for a fry before he grabs an onion ring and holds it out to josie.

 

“m’lady.” he says, a smirk on his face as josie smiles widely and simply leans down to take a bite of it from his hand. kevin looks up at fangs imploringly, and fangs simply shrugs and takes a bite of an onion ring as kevin's eyes move to toni, who is equally nonplussed.

 

toni has no fucking idea when sweet pea and josie became a thing, and she has every intention of questioning her best friend on just what the fuck he was doing with one of cheryl’s best friends as soon as she gets a moment alone with him, but instead, at least for right now, she gives him a stern look, and he winks at her before he turns his attention back to josie. 

 

“thank you, mr. andrews, for shouting us dinner.” cheryl says with a smile, pulling toni's attention back to her red haired girlfriend, and mary and fred sink into the booth beside veronica and archie with warm smiles.

 

“it’s the least we could do to thank you all for being there for archie during all of this.” mary says softly.

 

“of course. archie’s our friend, we’ll stick by his side no matter what.” toni says firmly, but not unkindly, and mary watches her for a moment before she looks at cheryl and suddenly shakes her head with a light laugh.

 

“you know, if you had told me in high school that penelope blossom’s child would grow up to be a southside serpent, i would’ve asked you how many doses of fizzle rocks you’d taken.” she teases with a playful smirk. cheryl simply shrugs.

 

"thankfully, the apple fell very far from the tree in that case. although i have to ask, what is fizzle rocks?" cheryl frowns, and toni rolls her eyes and nudges her girlfriend.

 

“it was a big drug in the nineties. kinda like jingle jangle. serpents used to sell it." toni says with a sigh. understanding crosses cheryl’s face as she wrinkles her nose, and mary laughs louder and looks at toni with a raised eyebrow.

 

"'used to', huh? so the serpents are out of the drug dealing business?" she asks. toni nods once.

 

"yep. have been for a while...thank god." she mumbles. mary sighs and shakes her head.

 

"never understood why it came to that in the first place. trying to avoid fizzle rocks during high school was a mission and a half." she says disapprovingly. toni watches as fred shifts uncomfortably beside her before he’s looking at archie and clearing his throat.

 

“hey, where’s jughead and betty? i thought they were joining us?” he says with a frown, clearly wanting to change the subject, but his words hit toni suddenly.

 

jughead and betty weren't here...

 

jughead hadn’t exactly been happy about what had occurred at the trial. the evidence piling against his best friend had his eyes wide and his mouth practically foaming, and before fred and mary had whisked them all here for lunch, toni had seen betty trying to calm jughead down, the both of them whispering in hushed tones as archie had watched them from afar with a less than pleased look on his face.

 

was that why his two best friends weren't here?

 

“betty said she’ll try and convince him to come around. he still wants to do something, even though i’ve begged him a hundred times to stay out of it.” archie says, his jaw clenching in what looks like contained anger. mary sighs and nods solemnly.

 

“it’s good that you’re telling him that, archie. the last thing we need is jughead tampering with evidence to try and get you off the hook.”

 

“i know…” archie sighs. 

 

“yeah, well, that’s the joneses. they never listen, no matter how hard you try and tell them not to do something they shouldn’t.” fred says with a frown. toni snorts as she takes a drink of her milkshake, and fred smiles at her as cheryl rests her arm around toni's shoulders and begins playing with the ends of her hair.

 

“don’t worry, we’ll try to talk jughead down…" she says, but toni rolls her eyes and shrugs.

 

"if betty can’t get through to him, then i don’t think we can, either.” toni says roughly, playing with her fries awkwardly before cheryl simply grabs one and holds it up to her without even looking at her.

 

it’s a pet peeve of hers, toni playing with her food, and she somehow always forgets it.

 

“so what happens now? if they don’t get all the evidence before the next trial, do we have to wait again?” cheryl asks as toni takes the fry from her between her fingers with her teeth happily. mary watches them with a smile for a moment before she licks her lips and nods.

 

“yes. that’s why there’s such a long wait between sessions, usually it’s only a week or so, but because this is such a fresh case…”

 

“then why are they rushing it? murder trials usually take months before they go to court, why…” cheryl trails off, her eyes landing on veronica, who swallows thickly before she raises her head high.

 

“we all know why it’s being rushed, cheryl.” she says hollowly.

 

of course they all know. hiram lodge had been in attendance during the trial, standing at the back and watching the proceedings, and toni had wanted nothing more than to punch that smug smirk off his face, the one that had stayed plastered on his features for the whole goddamn time they were in that courtroom.

 

god, how could he be so _horrible?_ archie was just a sixteen year old kid, was his masculinity that fragile that he had to threaten a kid to feel like a man? toni doesn't understand it at all...

 

fred and mary share an uncomfortable look as archie sighs and takes veronica’s hand in his own once again.

 

“ronnie, you know i’m not upset at you. this is all your father.” veronica shakes her head as tears fall down her cheeks.

 

“the only reason he’s doing this is because you’re with me-.”

 

“no, he’s doing this because i told him i was gonna take him down for destroying the serpents and taking their home. he’s doing this because i threatened him for authorizing the ghoulies kidnapping cheryl and toni. he’s doing this because i challenged him. this was all _me_ , veronica, not you. and i don’t regret it, not for a single second. standing up to your father was the best decision i ever made. it finally got me out of his stranglehold, finally opened my eyes to the kind of man he truly was. but you, ronnie…you’re nothing like your father.” archie says firmly. fred and mary both nod as mary reaches over to take veronica’s hand in her own.

 

“veronica, we love you for how you’ve cared for archie these last few weeks. you’ve been so amazing…we know your father’s actions have no reflection on the person _you_ are.” veronica’s bottom lip trembles as more tears fall, and toni wishes she could help comfort and reassure the girl in front of them that she was nothing short of amazing.

 

god, if it hadn't been for veronica, toni would've never had the back up she did when she had rescued cheryl from the sisters of quiet mercy. veronica had traversed through those hallways with her to find the girl sitting beside her without a care of the risk she was taking...if they had gotten caught, god only knows what those nuns would've done to them, but veronica still did it anyway...

 

veronica _cares_ about people, the complete opposite of everything her father stands for.

 

cheryl sighs as she looks at veronica with a soft smile.

 

“as somewhat of an expert on having parents who have no moral compass, i can assure you, veronica…our parents don’t define us. _we_ do. and you…are the best kind of person.” 

 

“hear, hear, girl!” josie says, raising her glass of diet coke and winking at veronica from the table she’s at. veronica laughs through her tears as archie kisses her temple.

 

“you’re the best girlfriend ever, ronnie.” he whispers. veronica rolls her eyes and presses a hand against his chest to nudge him slightly.

 

“stop trying to make me feel better, today is about you, archiekins. how are you feeling?” she asks hoarsely. archie swallows loudly before he looks up at cheryl and toni, his eyes moving over to kevin, josie, fangs and sweet pea before he finally looks at his parents.

 

and the smile on his face is filled with sadness, but somehow happiness at the same time.

 

“i feel…content. if these next few weeks are gonna be my last of freedom, then spending it here with all of you guys is exactly how i want to do it.” 

 

toni feels tears well in her eyes, and she tries to blink them away, but it’s no use.

 

archie didn’t deserve this, he really didn't. he was such a _good_ person…why was this happening to him? why was hiram lodge so goddamn hellbent on making sure he went away for something he didn’t do? it didn’t make any sense to toni, how some people could be so goddamn vindictive, so spiteful…her uncle, penelope blossom, hiram lodge…they were all bred from the same goddamn evil…

 

“toni? babe, are you okay?” cheryl asks, her hand immediately gripping toni’s thigh and giving it a reassuring squeeze. toni clears her throat and nods once before she slides out of the booth and reaches for sweet pea.

 

she needs a distraction. and someone to scold.

 

“you, come with me.” she mumbles, gripping him by the elbow of his serpent jacket and dragging him away from his seat beside josie. he grunts in surprise, but eventually follows her toward the juke box in the far left corner of the diner, where toni holds her hand open for him to hand her quarters. he rolls his eyes and sighs before digging into his jeans pocket and pulling out a few quarters.

 

“is there a reason you’re dragging me away from mccoy, tiny?” he says in a low voice. toni takes the quarters from his hand and shoves one into the slot of the juke box.

 

“what are you doing, getting involved with mayor mccoy’s daughter?” she hisses, her eyes trained on the songs listed in front of her as she scans them for one to play. sweet pea laughs beside her.

 

“well, firstly, sierra mccoy isn’t the mayor anymore, and secondly, she’s hot for me and she’s drop dead gorgeous. why wouldn’t i tap that?” he says incredulously. toni rolls her eyes before she finally looks up at him with a raised eyebrow. 

 

“and did it ever occur to you that for her, getting involved with a southside serpent is the perfect way to get back at her mother for having a secret affair with the former sheriff behind her back?” toni says stiffly. sweet pea’s expression hardens, and he scoffs before he looks at josie sitting at the table with fangs and kevin with a sigh.

 

“yeah, well…i wasn’t gonna fool myself into thinking she really likes me, toni. she’s just someone to fool around with.” he grunts out, but there’s genuine hurt in his eyes as toni bites down on her lower lip before she sighs.

 

she knows josie is a good person, the girl also helped her save cheryl from that hellhole her mother threw her in, and she managed to convince sierra to help cheryl get emancipation from penelope (not that she needed much convincing, but still). but sweet pea had a tendency to be an asshole, and toni also knows, thanks to cheryl, that josie's relationship with her mother was a little strained at the moment...

 

“look, maybe she does like you…just be cautious, alright?” sweet pea barks with laughter and looks at her with amusement.

 

“and did you take any of my warnings when i told you to do the same with cheryl?” he teases with a grin. toni rolls her eyes.

 

“cheryl’s different-.”

 

“is she? northside royalty who wouldn’t be caught dead with a southside serpent, that’s what she _was_ like, tiny. and maybe josie’s the same…but maybe i can help her see the light like you helped cheryl.” he says with a soft smile. toni snorts loudly. 

 

sweet pea? being as gentle and patient and loving with josie as toni was with cheryl?

 

that's a funny joke.

 

“yeah, because you could ever be patient enough to do something like that. the things i had to do to help cheryl see past my serpent jacket and my southside heritage…it took a long time and a lot of patience and kindness. no offence, pea, but you’ve got none of that.” she says with a light laugh.

 

sweet pea crosses his arms over his chest and clenches his jaw as his expression hardens.

 

“oh really? so me kicking percy penderton’s ass in third grade for tugging on your braids was me not being kind, huh? me taking you in all those nights your uncle left you out in the cold, that was me being an impatient dick, was it?” he deadpans.

 

toni’s heart falls.

 

“n-no, i…fuck, pea, i didn’t mean it like that, it’s just-.”

 

“whatever, toni. we’re done here.” he pushes himself off the wall and makes his way back to the table before she can get another word in, and toni’s shoulders slump as she watches him go in defeat.

 

god, she didn’t _mean_ it like that, she’s just never seen sweet pea even _try_ to form a relationship with a girl before…let alone someone from the fucking northside. sweet pea _hated_ the northside, maybe even more than he hates the ghoulies…it was different, being patient and kind to a friend and being patient and kind to a girlfriend, that’s what she fucking meant-

 

she ends up picking a random song on the juke box, somehow feeling even worse than she did when she first made her way over here as she pulls away from it and makes her way back over to cheryl, who is watching sweet pea’s annoyed expression with a frown of confusion.

 

“is everything okay, babe?” she asks as soon as toni sits down beside her. toni looks at sweet pea guiltily, watches as he leans in closer to josie with a smile as she giggles at something he’s said, and she simply sighs and nods once.

 

“yeah, everything’s fine.” cheryl frowns, but doesn’t comment on it as the door behind them suddenly opens and jughead and betty walk through.

 

betty’s eyes are red, a clear sign that she’s been crying, and jughead looks equally upset as they both plaster on fake smiles and grab seats to join their booth, toni watching them both apprehensively as they do.

 

and she's not the only one.

 

“hey, did we miss anything?” jughead asks, immediately reaching into toni and cheryl’s basket to steal an onion ring. toni glares at him, but is cut off by archie responding.

 

“no. where have you been?” he deadpans. jughead shrugs as betty sniffs and smiles at archie shakily.

 

“nowhere, arch. how are you feeling?” she asks softly. archie’s eyes haven’t left jughead.

 

“i’m fine. where were you, jug?” he asks again, his voice slightly louder. jughead looks at him with wide eyes before he scoffs and shakes his head.

“nowhere, archie, like betty told you.” 

 

god, even toni can tell he's lying.

 

archie clenches his jaw, and he’s about to say something when veronica grips his bicep and squeezes it to get his attention.

 

“let it go, archiekins.” she whispers. archie looks to his father, his eyes almost pleading, and fred sighs before he looks to jughead with a frown.

 

“how’s your father?” he asks. jughead grabs another fry and narrowly dodges cheryl slapping his hand away. 

 

“he’s okay. at the lakeside with the other serpents.”

 

“you still haven’t found somewhere more secure on the northside?” mary asks with a sigh. jughead shakes his head.

 

“not yet. there’s a few trailer parks we can set up camp in, but none of them are willing to house southside serpents.” he says, clenching his jaw and stealing yet another fry.

 

“oh, for the love of god…” cheryl slides the basket over to him with a roll of his eyes, but to all of their surprise, jughead shakes his head and pushes it back.

 

“i’m not staying long. i just came here to talk to toni about her grandfather. my dad wants me to ask you something about ‘the mourning’ from the other day. can i have a word alone?” jughead asks, looking up at toni with hopeful eyes. 

 

toni has no idea why f.p would ask her anything about it, seeing as her grandfather had all the knowledge on it, but she simply shrugs and nods once. toni sees betty clench her jaw before she lowers her gaze down to her lap, but leans in and gives cheryl a quick kiss on the cheek anyway.

 

“i’ll be back.” she mumbles. cheryl frowns, but nods once as she slides out of the booth and waits as jughead steals one last fry and stands.

 

“i’ll message you. remember what i said.” jughead whispers into betty’s ear before he presses a kiss to her temple, and betty purses her lips, but nods as jughead leads toni outside, where the sky is an overcast grey, small spatters of rain just beginning to fall. jughead leads her to the far side of pop’s diner, away from the sight of the others, and toni finds it odd, but doesn’t comment on it.

 

“i don’t know what i can tell you about ‘the mourning’ that my grandpa can’t, jug-.”

 

“i lied. this isn’t about the mourning.” jughead says firmly. toni blinks once in surprise before she crosses her arms over her chest and raises an eyebrow at him.

 

“okay…then what’s this about?” she asks simply. jughead takes his beanie off and runs his fingers through his hair before he lets out a shaky sigh, and toni can tell he's nervous, but she still has no idea what he wants...

 

“at the courthouse, i went to the bathroom and i overheard hiram and sheriff minetta talking as they came in. they were cryptic, talking in whispers and code, but from what i gathered, toni…there’s some kind of weapon that hasn’t been found yet in the forest where cassidy bullock was shot.” jughead says hollowly.

 

toni feels a shiver run up her spine, but she quickly forces it down and purses her lips. 

 

a weapon? but hiram wouldn't be dumb enough to leave any evidence that incriminated him lying around...

 

“right...so why are you talking to me about this?” she says in confusion. jughead licks his lips, his eyes wild as he quickly makes sure no one is listening in before he leans closer to toni.

 

“so…that weapon could be the key to archie being found innocent! hiram was saying that he wants sheriff minetta to find it before the shadow lake officers do. he said he doesn’t want to fork out any more money to pay them off if they do. minetta said he’d spend all day tomorrow looking through the forest for it…" jughead trails off again before he looks to toni with determination shining in his eyes.

 

"if we find it first, toni-.”

 

“no. no, no way, jughead! you heard archie, he doesn’t want us getting involved!” toni hisses, anger quickly rising in her at the stupidity of jughead’s idea.

 

what the hell is he thinking? if they get caught, they could get arrested, or even worse, shot and killed-

 

“this is archie’s only shot at getting out of this, toni! archie can’t go to jail for something he didn’t do, it’s not right! we _have_ to prove he’s innocent-.”

 

“jughead, archie _specifically_ told us that he doesn’t want us meddling in this trial! if we do something and we get caught, that’s not only gonna make archie look even more guilty, it’s gonna get our asses thrown into the slammer for tampering with a crime scene! i’m one arrest away from juvie, or did you forget that?” toni spits out.

 

she can't believe he's even fathoming the idea of this. the chances of them even finding whatever weapon hiram's forgotten about are slim...what was the point?

 

jughead’s expression hardens, tears gathering in his eyes, and toni feels guilt flood her for a moment before she sighs and reaches out to grip his shoulder.

 

“jughead, i get it. i really, really do…archie’s your best friend, and fuck, i want to help him too, more than anything…but if he doesn’t want us to get involved, then i’m gonna do what _he_ wants. this is about him, jug, not you.” toni says softly. jughead clenches his jaw and quickly wipes away his tears before he looks at toni angrily.

 

“he saved cheryl’s life. if it wasn’t for archie, cheryl would be dead right now, and you’d have no one! this is how you’re going to repay him? by letting him get framed for murder and thrown into jail for it?!” he growls.

 

toni freezes.

 

she doesn’t even know how to respond, because part of her knows he's right, but part of her also knows he's a fucking asshole for using it against her, but before she even can think of somehthing to say, jughead’s stepping closer to her until his face is inches from hers.

 

“archie saved cheryl’s life, toni. that girl you love in there, the one you care about so much? if archie hadn’t saved her, you wouldn’t have someone to wake up to in the mornings. you wouldn’t have someone to hold, someone to say ‘i love you’ to. if archie goes away for this, he’s gonna wake up cold in a cell for the rest of his life with no one to wake up to…no one to say ‘i love you’ to. after everything he’s done for you and cheryl…" jughead's voice cracks before he swallows down the lump in his throat and shakes his head, tears welling in his eyes.

 

"you have to help me, toni. please…” 

 

toni blinks back tears at jughead’s words, the thoughts of archie alone and cold in a jail cell making her heart ache and her body tremble.

 

she’s been there before. four weeks in hell…and archie was looking at a lifetime of that…

 

she wouldn't wish that upon even her worst enemy...but god, she can't possibly do this, can she?

 

“jug…why are you asking me? why not sweet pea or fangs?” toni lets out a shaky breath as jughead sighs.

 

“because sweet pea and fangs won’t do it, you know they don’t care about archie, toni. but you do…” he says in a soft whisper. toni hesitates.

 

she can’t do this, can she? how would she even begin to explain her absence tonight to cheryl? and beyond that, she promised archie along with cheryl that she’d do whatever he wanted and archie wanted them to leave this alone…

 

but fuck, he was a good person, a good friend, a fucking _loyal_ friend…and he saved cheryl’s life.

 

the thought of archie spending the rest of his life in a jail cell…it wasn’t fair. 

 

but if they got caught out there…fuck, fuck, fuck-

 

“if we do this…what’s the plan?” toni asks in a shaky voice. a flicker of hope shines in jughead’s eyes as he leans in with breathless excitement.

 

“we go back to shadow lake, to the lodge we stayed at, and we scope out the forest. it won’t be hard to find, there’s bound to be police tape sealing the area off. we go in the middle of the night so there’s no cops around and we see if we can find anything.”

 

that...doesn't sound like the worst plan. doesn't sound like the best one either...

 

“and if we don’t?” toni says in a hard voice. jughead swallows thickly.

 

“then we find nothing…but we have to at least _try_ , toni.” he begs. toni hesitates again, stuck between a rock and a hard place.

 

archie would be so fucking pissed off with them if he found out about this...they really can't get caught, like _really, really_ can't get caught...

 

she finally licks her lips and nods.

 

fuck, she really shouldn’t be doing this…

 

_archie doesn’t deserve to die alone in jail. he saved cheryl's life..._

 

“alright, fine. i’ll do it. i’ll tell cheryl i’m staying with my grandpa tonight so she doesn’t get suspicious.” jughead grins as he grabs toni and pulls her in close for a hug, squeezing her tightly.

 

"thank you, toni. so, so much..." toni rolls her eyes and pats his back awkwardly.

 

“yeah, yeah, just know i’m doing this for archie…and for cheryl. and if we get caught, jughead, i swear i will break out of juvie and kill you myself.” 

 

jughead simply laughs, but even toni can’t help but smile at the happiness in his eyes.

 

“i’ll keep that in mind, topaz.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yep, jughead's a whole dumbass in this just like he is in the show. still can't believe he got my favorite bi kids roped into that stupid ass game, i'm tired. #prayforchoni


	6. the numbers two and eighteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is an emotional rollercoaster. please do not murder me. i...love you? :D
> 
> please leave comments letting me know what you think! apologies for any spelling mistakes, i'm posting this in a hurry cause i have to get to work and don't have time to proofread, rip. also, i've written another fic that i'll link here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16574312/chapters/38837804 
> 
> check it out if you want, but uh, i'll warn you from now...it's lowkey a bdsm/smut fic? BUT it's not going to be your typical smut fic, i give a full explanation in the notes in the beginning of the fic, so check it out if you're interested!
> 
> anyway, i'm zooming out of here, because i'm pretty sure by the end of this chapter, you'll want my head on a pike. BYE.

“thanks for doing this, cheryl. i really appreciate it. i could _not_ go home and look my father in the face after today.”

 

cheryl hands over a mug of hot chocolate to the raven haired girl with a simple smile before she sits down on top of her queen sized bed with a nod, josie and veronica sitting cross legged on top of the bed as well.

 

“of course, v. we’ve both been kind of attached by the hip to our beaus, i think it’s about time we had a girl’s night.” 

 

josie lets out a soft grunt of agreement at that as veronica rolls her eyes, but smiles all the same.

 

they were at thistlehouse, just the three of them, lisa and nana rose downstairs sleeping soundly as the girls did their best to stay as quiet as possible. 

 

“well, we can’t exactly be blamed. although where is toni, anyway?” veronica says with a frown. cheryl simply lets out a small sigh.

 

archie was spending the night with his mother and father, and veronica had decided to give the andrews family some space from everything going on, but cheryl had seen the morose look on her face when they had been exiting pop’s and had asked veronica if she wanted to have a girl’s night to try and take her mind off everything.

 

veronica had practically squealed with excitement and accepted the invitation, not wanting to go home and be under the watchful eye of hermione and hiram lodge, and cheryl had asked josie and betty if they wanted to join as well. betty had politely declined, telling them she wanted to spend time with her mother, but cheryl hadn’t missed the look of complete and utter panic and worry in her eyes. before she could question it, however, josie had agreed to come as well, and during the distraction, betty had all but disappeared.

 

cheryl has no idea what was going on with her cousin, but the thought had been brushed from her mind completely when she had been about to tell toni their plans and toni had told her that she was staying with her grandfather in his trailer at the lakeside tonight.

 

“is everything okay, t.t?” cheryl had asked immediately, worry for the older topaz gripping her tightly. toni had swallowed thickly before simply nodding with a smile.

 

“yeah, everything’s fine, cher. i just think the whole pickens day thing has affected him a lot more this year now that we’ve lost so many serpents…i should be there for him.” 

 

cheryl had agreed without hesitation, but she can’t deny that she’s missed toni ever since she jumped on her bike and took off to the lakeside while cheryl had carpooled with josie and veronica to thistlehouse. it’s probably for the best, they haven’t spent a single moment apart in months, cheryl thinks, but it still hurts being away from her.

 

she just loves toni _so much…_ they haven’t spent a night apart since toni moved in almost two months ago…it just feels strange not having her around. 

 

“she’s spending the night with her grandfather. the serpents do a traditional mourning ceremony on pickens day and i think it took a bit of a toll on him this year, she just wants to keep an eye on him.” cheryl murmurs with a frown. the girls take in her words with looks of surprise before josie replies.

 

“damn…yeah, that’s definitely understandable.” she says with a sigh. cheryl nods solemnly as veronica lets out a shaky breath before smiling.

 

“well, at least you know she’s safe. she’s surrounded by serpents and family…i live in fear every day that one day the police are just gonna barge into archie’s house to throw him into jail with no trial.” she says hollowly, her eyes distant as if she’s visualizing that very scenario in her mind.

 

“come on, v, you know that’s not gonna happen.” josie says softly, reaching out to take her hand and give it a gentle squeeze of reassurance. veronica chuckles and returns the notion.

 

“i know, it’s such a silly thing to be scared of-.”

 

“no, it isn’t.” cheryl says abruptly. veronica and josie look at her, waiting for an explanation for her reply, and cheryl sighs and licks her lips in hesitation.

 

she knows she can talk to toni about anything, and she has for the most part, but for once…it feels good to be able to talk to someone _other_ than toni. she knows she can lean on veronica and josie, and honestly, maybe it will be good to air out her fears to her best friends, to get a new perspective on things. it’s something that’s been weighing on her mind from the moment she realized she had feelings for the pink haired serpent…

 

“i worry every day about toni. i think i have from the moment i laid eyes on her at the hospital all those months ago…but last week, when i was arrested, my mother came by the station to see me, and she threatened the serpents...and toni. i haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. i’m so scared she’s going to do something to hurt toni, and i won’t be able to forgive myself if she does.” cheryl croaks out, tears immediately welling in her eyes that she tries desperately to blink away, but they fall down her cheeks regardless. 

 

“oh my god…” veronica takes cheryl’s hand in her own, her eyes wide and also filled with tears as josie reaches for her other hand, the three of them intertwined in this moment of fear and sadness. cheryl swallows thickly and looks up at her two best friends.

 

god, in this moment, she’s never been more thankful for them…this has been bottling up inside her for over a week now, and even though she knows toni has told her a million times that she’s going to be fine, she knows that’s just toni’s way of reassuring her that penelope couldn’t harm her, but it wasn’t true. penelope was capable of heinous things, things that toni wasn’t aware of…

 

she spent sixteen years torturing and abusing cheryl, physically and emotionally, and cheryl was her own daughter…god only knows what she would do to someone she considered her worst enemy…

 

“i know it’s silly, but my mother is capable of so many horrible things. she knows how much toni means to me, and i _can’t_ lose her. but my mother…she’s always been hellbent on destroying anything good in my life.” cheryl says through clenched teeth, unable to contain her anger at the thought.

 

she doesn’t understand how a mother could be so cruel…it still makes her sick to her stomach to think about. the very idea that someone could hate their child so much as to do the things penelope has done to her…

 

josie sighs as veronica squeezes cheryl’s hand reassuringly.

 

“hey, listen to me, cheryl. toni is strong, okay? all the serpents are…they’re gonna be just fine. penelope blossom can threaten them until she turns red in the face, they’re a family and they stick together no matter what. she can’t touch that even if she wanted to.” veronica says, her tone soft but also so calming to cheryl, who feels her shoulders relax a little as she smiles.

 

“i know…i just…toni means everything to me. she’s changed my life completely, veronica. if it wasn’t for her, god only knows where i’d be right now…probably dead, to be honest. ever since jay jay died, i felt like i was sinking further and further into this black void, and toni…when she came along, it’s like she reached in the darkness and pulled me out with one hand and no effort. if anything were to happen to her…”

 

“i know…” veronica whispers as she leans in to wrap an arm around cheryl’s shoulders. cheryl gives in, leaning her head against veronica’s shoulder as she sniffles lightly. josie smiles and leans in to rest her hand on cheryl’s knee.

 

“trust me, cheryl, we’ve seen the change in you…and i can’t begin to tell you how happy i am that toni has brought out this side in you, but if you keep worrying, you’re gonna make yourself sick. we’ve got toni’s back, and so do the serpents. nothing is going to happen to her or them, i promise.” cheryl lets out a shaky breath at josie’s words, and she’s thankful that josie’s included the serpents as well.

 

they’re her family just as much as toni is at this point. ever since she slipped on that red serpent jacket, they’ve treated her as an equal. and yes, it’s true that some of the older serpents weren’t too happy about a blossom joining the ranks, but for the most part, the rest of them were more than happy to include her in their family. birdie had taken a liking to her, and thomas, an elder, a man who was considered royalty to the serpents, saw her almost as a daughter now due to her relationship with toni.

 

“it’s still so weird, seeing you walk around with that southside serpent jacket on, cheryl.” josie says with a chuckle, her eyes falling on the jacket itself that’s hanging proudly on the hook by the door of her wardrobe. cheryl wipes away her tears and smiles, her own eyes drifting over to the jacket, a certain fondness growing in her heart as she stares at the green snake etched into the red leather. 

 

“i know…never in a million years did i think i’d join a gang, and yet here we are…but i couldn’t be happier. they really are like a proper family to me. something i’ve never had before…” cheryl says softly. josie frowns and looks to veronica, who scoffs and shakes her head before resting her cheek on top of cheryl’s and giving her shoulders a squeeze.

 

“who would’ve thought? the southside serpents are just one big soft family taking in strays.” she teases. cheryl snorts as josie rolls her eyes and shrugs.

 

“they aren’t all bad. sweet pea is actually…kind of amazing.” she says, a light blush showing up on her dark skin that has cheryl raising an eyebrow at her. 

 

she had seen their flirtatious banter earlier today at pop’s diner, and she’s positive whatever conversation toni had had with sweet pea by the juke box had something to do with it, but she hadn’t had time to question her girlfriend about it before she’d left for the lakeside.

 

cheryl doesn’t know why toni would be upset about a potential relationship between josie and sweet pea, but at the same time, she understands that sweet pea was like a brother to toni…she’d do anything to make sure he was safe, both physically and emotionally, and cheryl would be lying if she said she didn’t feel the same way now about the serpent boy.

 

of course, he wasn’t like a brother to her on the same level as jason was, but she felt the same level of protection over him as toni.

 

she wipes away the tears from her face and pokes a finger against josie’s thigh playfully.

 

“what _is_ going on between you two, anyway?” she teases, but there’s a sincerity to her tone that has josie grinning before she chuckles and licks her lips, hesitation shining in her eyes. she looks at cheryl almost guiltily before letting out a shaky breath and replying.

 

“i don’t want you to get mad when i say this, but…originally, i kind of planned on using sweet pea to get back at my mom.” she says, her voice small as she peeks up at cheryl through her eyelashes.

 

cheryl simply lets out a knowing sigh. she had a feeling that that was the case with josie ever since she had asked cheryl about sweet pea a few weeks ago. it doesn’t exactly bring up any positive feelings, but she gives josie the benefit of the doubt.

 

josie was her best friend, she wasn’t about to yell at her without letting her get her side of the story out first. she simply waits for josie to continue talking, and josie looks surprised that she hasn’t said anything for a few moments before she clears her throat and continues.

 

“i-i know how much she hates the serpents, but i was just so mad at her for the affair and not telling me about it…i thought that getting with a serpent would make her mad, would finally force her to acknowledge the pain she’s caused me. but…” josie trails off unexpectedly, a fond smile forming on her face before she looks up at cheryl. 

 

“but spending this afternoon with sweet pea…he’s actually so nice, cheryl. and it surprised the hell out of me, because i was really expecting him to just be this…rough, mean guy. i mean, that’s the kind of attitude he gives off, you know? he puts on this tough front to everyone at school, but when i was at the courthouse, he gave me his jacket when he saw i was cold, and he was so attentive the whole afternoon while we were at pop’s. he listened to every word i said without getting distracted once, it was just so nice to have someone _want_ to listen to what i had to say. it was…different.” josie says softly, a certain fondness in her eyes as she looks up at cheryl.

 

cheryl takes a few moments to process her words. she knows sweet pea has a soft spot, she’s seen it many times herself, especially in the days following her rescue from the sisters of quiet mercy. sweet pea and fangs had come over to f.p’s trailer every single day after her rescue to see her, had made her smile and laugh and worked hard with toni to keep her spirits up after going through such a traumatic experience. it’s part of the reason why cheryl began to see them as her own family, why she decided to become a serpent in the first place.

 

she knows josie’s trying to tell her something here, but she can’t help but still feel overprotective and a little angry at josie’s original plan. sweet pea didn’t deserve to be treated like an object in a battle he wasn’t even involved with…

 

“josie, i love you, but please don’t break sweet pea’s heart. you can’t begin to understand how truly good he is, fangs as well. those boys have been toni’s family for years, they’ve been by her side through everything, all the ups and downs, and they’ve been there for me from the moment toni and i became a couple. he’s a good guy, don’t use him just to get back at your mother.” she says firmly, but not unkindly. josie’s eyes widen, and she contemplates cheryl’s words for a long moment before she suddenly slumps in defeat and nods solemnly, looking up at cheryl guiltily once more.

 

“you’re right…i know that, cheryl, and i mean…that’s how it started, as just an idea to get back at her, but honestly, cheryl? i wouldn’t mind getting to know him more. he really is a great guy…it’s just, now that i kind of _want_ to explore something more with him, i’m finding myself actually worrying that my mother is gonna refuse to let us date.” josie says with a roll of her eyes and a scoff. veronica scoffs as well, the movement jostling cheryl slightly from her position against veronica’s body.

 

“screw her, she kept an affair secret from you from months. you’ve always got ammo, josie, you just gotta know how to use it.” veronica says, winking at her with a grin. josie laughs as cheryl chuckles and shoves veronica lightly.

 

“she has a point…albeit a horrible one, but still a point. just don’t lose your relationship with her, josie. i know how close you and your mother are, and god, i used to hate you for it to be honest.” cheryl admits rather bluntly. josie’s eyes widen.

 

“what? for real?” she says in surprise. cheryl rolls her eyes.

 

josie really didn’t know how good she had it…granted, sierra mccoy was overprotective, but god, did she love her daughter so _fiercely…_ on days where she’d show up to riverdale high to watch josie and the pussycats perform with nothing but pride shining in her eyes, cheryl would feel nothing but jealousy and despair over the fact that the only reason her mother ever showed up to her pep rallies with the vixens was when jason was the quarterback of the bulldogs…and even then, she’d watch cheryl with nothing but disappointment no matter how hard she worked to impress her.

 

“of course. my mother’s hated me from the second i was born, but yours…she’s just always looking out for you, josie. she loves you and she cares about you, so don’t lose that. as frustrating as she is…she truly loves you, and as someone who’s never felt a mother’s love, don’t take it for granted.” cheryl says hollowly. josie’s eyes shine with sympathy, but before she can say anything, cheryl clears her throat and smiles at her. 

 

“just see where things with sweet pea go first, but i should tell you, dating a southside serpent isn’t easy. their family comes first before anything. i know i’m part of that family now, but before i joined the serpents, toni was constantly struggling on decisions between the serpents and myself. it’s part of the reason why i decided to join, so that she wouldn’t have to struggle choosing anymore.” josie makes a strange noise, her eyes almost bulging as she looks at veronica in panic, and cheryl’s confused for a moment before she realizes how that can be interpreted.

 

cheryl’s eyes widen, and she reaches out and grips josie’s hand.

 

“no, no, i’m not saying you should become a serpent for him! god, no, i’m just saying be cautious and don’t take it personally if he chooses them over you. toni kept something from me that lead to a fight between us, and i didn’t fully understand why she did it until i joined the serpents myself. we’re a family, josie, but it’s even deeper than that. we’re all willing to die for each other, and sweet pea is one of the most loyal serpents i know. just…don’t take it personally, okay?” cheryl reiterates with a chuckle. 

 

josie visibly relaxes, but she smiles and lets out a shaky chuckle before rolling her eyes.

 

“cheryl, we’re not even dating yet. i understand where you’re coming from, but maybe wait and see if we even become something serious first before giving me a lecture.” josie says with a laugh. cheryl frowns, but simply sighs and nods.

 

she’s right. her and sweet pea were just talking at this point, but still…she didn’t want josie entering a relationship with sweet pea without knowing what it was like to actually date a serpent. as much as she loved toni, the days before she was a serpent herself, cheryl had spent every second of every day terrified for her girlfriend, scared that she’d be sent on a mission that could endanger her life, that could result in cheryl losing her…

 

god, it always came back to that. cheryl’s fear of losing toni…

 

“i just want you to know what you’re getting yourself into, that’s all.” cheryl says softly with a smile. josie looks at her in wonder for a few moments before she chuckles and shakes her head. 

 

“i know. thank you, cheryl…god, toni really changed a lot for you, didn’t she? you never used to help anyone if it didn’t benefit you and yet here you are, making sure i keep myself guarded.” she says with a laugh, looking at veronica, who hums in agreement before nudging cheryl playfully.

 

cheryl smiles, and tries her hardest not to think about how much she misses her girlfriend already. she knows it’s silly, that she should be able to spend a single night away from her girlfriend, but god, she’d be lying if she said she could. she really misses her right now more than anything…

 

_it’s one night, cheryl, just one night, you can pull through it…_

 

“she really has, josie. she really, really has…”

 

\-------------------

 

“i swear to god, jughead, if you’ve made me lie to cheryl for no goddamn reason, i’m gonna kill you.” 

 

toni grumbles and shrugs her serpent jacket closer around her body, shivering slightly from the cold air as jughead clicks on his flashlight and hands the already lit one to her, his face looking pale and flushed under the light’s exposure.

 

“we’re gonna find this evidence, toni. we’ll stay out here all night if we have to.”

 

toni bites back a groan at those words as she follows jughead further into the forest before them, her eyes narrowing from the dim light that exposes the path they’re taking.

 

she’s already regretting this decision, already regretting agreeing to do this at all. against her better judgement and wishes, they hadn’t told any of the other serpents what they were doing, jughead too afraid of what his father would do if he knew what they were up to, and toni finds herself getting more and more worried about this entire venture the further into it they go.

 

what if something happened to them out here? no one would know of their whereabouts or what they were doing here, and toni knows that’s never a good thing. she bites her lip, her eyes on jughead’s back before she sighs deeply and bites the bullet.

 

“jughead, maybe we should-.”

 

“toni, don’t tell me we have to turn back!” jughead barks, spinning around to glare at her angrily. toni simply glares back, crossing her arms over her chest to let him know she’s seconds away from punching him, and he must get the message, because he sighs and looks at her apologetically.

 

“just…we’ve got this, okay? i’m pretty sure it’s just a little further.” he says, his voice a lot softer before he turns and continues walking.

 

toni hesitates for a few moments before she rolls her eyes and follows after him.

 

the drive to shadow lake had taken at least an hour or so, and the longer they drove, the more anxious toni got. she wasn’t aware that shadow lake was this fucking far away, and toni hates that she’s so far away from riverdale, from safety, from her friends…from cheryl.

 

what if something happened to her girlfriend while she was gone? what if cheryl found out what she was doing? she knows cheryl is probably never going to forgive her if she finds out the truth of what they’re doing here, and it’s starting to hit her now that she really didn’t fucking think this through for a single second before agreeing to do it. she feels like a fucking idiot…but all she could think about in that moment when jughead had asked her was helping archie…

 

because at the end of the day, jughead was right. archie had saved cheryl’s life, and he didn’t deserve anything that was happening to him. 

 

but maybe…god, maybe this was just going too far. they were officially a whole hour away from home, away from everyone they knew, with not a single person knowing that they were here. and not only that, but they tampering with a crime scene, which toni’s pretty sure would be enough to guarantee her a one way ticket to juvie if they got caught…

 

“you better pray there aren’t any officers out here.” toni grumbles, wishing more than anything that she could just turn back, get on her bike and head home to thistlehouse. she already fucking misses cheryl like crazy, and every step she takes, she feels stupider and stupider for agreeing to this.

 

jughead sighs and shakes his head before turning back to look at her.

 

“it’s almost midnight, i’m pretty sure no one’s out here. just stay close, alright? we’re gonna be fine.” jughead says hollowly, almost as if he’s reassuring himself more than he is reassuring toni.

 

she sighs, but continues forward anyway. as much as she regrets this decision, there’s no going back now. they were here, they might as well do what they came here to do.

 

she just hopes jughead wasn’t serious about making them stay out here all night. she’s already fucking exhausted after cheryl had woken her up so early with her screaming from her nightmare…

 

fuck, what if cheryl had another nightmare while she was gone? and toni wouldn’t be there to comfort her-

 

_veronica and josie are spending the night at thistlehouse, she isn’t alone, she’s gonna be just fine…_

 

but would veronica and josie be able to handle the intensity of cheryl’s nightmares? the one this morning had been the most violent one toni’s seen yet, and she’s pretty sure veronica and josie will have no idea what to do if something like that happened again…

 

she really, really, _really_ shouldn’t have fucking agreed to do this-

 

“wait, there! there it is!” jughead breathes suddenly, pulling toni out of her thoughts as jughead picks up the pace. toni follows suit, her boots thumping against the dirt ground until they come across yellow tape with “crime scene: do not cross” written in black all over it. it’s covering a large section of the forest, the tape almost extending past their line of vision, and toni estimates that the crime scene is at least the size of a football field.

 

and even though she’s regretting this decision, toni can’t help but feel a twinge of excitement rush through her body. it’s the crime buff in her…this shit has always intrigued her, and she can’t help but feel a little excited about the prospect of living it out in real life…

 

still, her fear far outweighs her excitement right now.

 

jughead steps closer until he’s right beside the tape, and he flashes his light to toni with pursed lips before he nods.

 

“alright, here…we should duck under it so we don’t break the tape.”

 

“it’s not my first rodeo, jones.” toni grumbles, ducking under the tape easily as jughead chuckles and does the same. toni flashes the light over the area, wincing at all the camera equipment and lights shining on the dirt barren ground around them. it’s clear that the police have already scoped the entire area out for every little bit of evidence possible, but there’s still some spots with white sheets over them as if to preserve the areas so they don’t get contaminated.

 

those are definitely the spots to avoid…they can’t leave any prints or anything behind.

 

“so how do we go about this? we can’t make it look like we were here, but we have to search everywhere thoroughly, right?” toni says, turning to jughead and flashing her light at him. he winces from the brightness before he sighs deeply and nods, flashing his light all over the crime scene slowly. 

 

“yeah…we should probably split up, cover as much ground as we can. i’ll start there, you go right.” jughead says, turning his flashlight to the left before nodding to the right. 

 

“and if we don’t find anything?” toni asks with a frown. jughead clenches his jaw.

 

“then we look outside the tape.” he says stiffly. toni glares at him in complete and utter disbelief.

 

is he fucking crazy?

 

“this forest is huge, jughead, we can’t scour the whole place in one night, are you insane?!” toni hisses irritably. jughead looks at her in desperation as he shakes his head.

 

“then we look for as long as we can! toni, please…we have to do this for archie, he can’t go to jail for something he didn’t even do!” jughead pleads, eyes wide and filled with sadness that toni’s honestly never seen before from the serpent king, and the sight of it immediately has toni’s anger dissipating despite herself.

 

fuck, why did she have to care so fucking much about her friends? it’s times like this where she kind of wishes she had her uncle’s ability to be an asshole. if she did, she would easily be able to tell jughead to fuck off, and she’d be curled up in bed with cheryl right now instead of freezing her ass off in the middle of the forest looking for evidence that probably didn’t even fucking exist…

 

“archie, right…” she mumbles, nodding in an effort to convince herself of the reason why she was doing this. it was for archie…the boy she barely knows, but the boy who saved cheryl’s life…a girl she knows better than the back of her own hand. a girl she loves more than anything…a girl who was probably going to be so fucking furious with her if she found out about this…

 

_you really didn’t think this through, toni…_

 

jughead reaches out and grips her shoulder tightly, pulling her out of her thoughts as she looks up at him in surprise.

 

“toni, remember, he saved cheryl’s life-.”

 

“you don’t need to keep holding that over me, i’m here, aren’t i?” toni snaps before she can stop herself, slapping jughead’s hand off her shoulder in her anger and ignoring jughead’s long sigh as she makes her way toward the right.

 

she’s really getting sick of him holding it over her. she _knows_ that archie saved cheryl’s life, it’s the whole fucking reason she’s doing this in the first place. but the truth is, she’s pretty sure archie himself would be just as pissed off as cheryl if he knew that they were here, too. this whole thing was just a bad idea, but there just isn’t a point in arguing with jughead at all. toni knows how fucking stubborn he is. no amount of arguing was going to convince jughead that they should just get on their bikes and head back home.

 

she might as well see this through. but he seriously needs to stop reminding her every five seconds that archie saved cheryl’s life. it just reminds her of why her life needed saving in the first place, and all it does is fill her with anxiety and worry over the fact that she wasn’t with cheryl right now. 

 

she knows cheryl’s okay, that she’s not alone tonight, that she’s with her friends and that she hasn’t been in that state of mind for a long time now, but it’s hard to shake off the worry, because the truth is, she _had_ been in that state of mind once, and how was toni supposed to know if that part of her was truly in the past? anything could throw her back into that state of mind…

 

 _just fucking look around and see if you can find anything, toni. the sooner you do, the sooner you can get back home and this whole thing can be behind you…_

 

toni doesn’t even know what she’s looking for, a gun, possibly, but it just doesn’t make sense for hiram to have left the weapon that was used to murder this cassidy bullock guy lying around the crime scene. the man was smart, he wasn’t about to leave something behind that could implicate him in murder. maybe it wasn’t a gun they were looking for…possibly the casing of the bullet that was shot through the gun? maybe gunpowder residue? both would definitely be a little harder to find, but the possibilities of either being left behind were much bigger than a weapon itself being left behind.

 

“are you sure he said it was a weapon he left behind?” toni yells out, flashing her light over to jughead to see him look up at her with a nod.

 

“yeah, he said that this guy named andre swept through the crime scene to eliminate any evidence before the cops arrived, but that he did it in a rush and he might’ve left something behind.” jughead yells back. toni blinks a few times, frozen in her position before she’s looking at him in disbelief.

 

“something he _might’ve_ left behind? so we’re out here based on a fucking hunch that he _might’ve_ left something behind?” toni growls, stomping her way back toward jughead and watching as he looks up at her in surprise. 

 

“well, yeah-.”

 

“you’re a fucking idiot, jughead!” toni barks, and before he can say anything, she’s moving toward the tape to duck back under it to head towards her bike. 

 

this was fucking ridiculous, she’s done with this-

 

“wait! wait, toni!” jughead skids to a halt in front of her, gripping her shoulders to stop her, and she slaps his hands away with a growl of frustration before jabbing her finger in his chest. 

 

“you have us out here, risking our fucking necks for a hunch!? you’ve had me thinking that hiram was positive he left something out here, and now you’re saying he said this guy _‘might’ve’_ left behind evidence? i’m not going to risk going back to juvie for ‘might’ve’, jughead! god, why the fuck did i even agree to this-.”

 

“because i’m the serpent king!” jughead roars, his beanie almost flying out in his anger as spit flies out from between clenched teeth. 

 

toni feels nothing but ice cold anger run through her body as she glares up at him in disbelief before scoffing. 

 

he is _not_ pulling out the ‘serpent king’ card right now…

 

“don’t. don’t you _dare_ tell me that i have to obey your orders like some fucking slave just because you have a different jacket than mine, jughead. are you forgetting who you’re talking to? there wouldn’t _be_ any serpent king, any southside serpents, if it wasn’t for _my family._ so don’t you fucking _dare._ ” 

 

jughead’s cheeks immediately turn red with embarrassment, and he swallows thickly before looking at her apologetically.

 

“toni, i’m-.”

 

“i get it, jughead. i really do. i want to help archie just as much as you do, but if you ever pull the fucking ‘serpent king’ card on me again, i’ll rip your throat out through your ass, and i’m not kidding.” toni threatens, making sure her voice is as hostile as possible.

 

she absolutely won’t stand for this. how fucking _dare_ he pull that on her? the joneses weren’t even _supposed_ to be the leaders of the serpents, and jughead knows it. his family only had the leadership because thomas didn’t want to take the role himself and had chosen jughead’s grandfather as his replacement. 

 

“i know, i’m sorry, i-.”

 

“i’m going home, jughead. i’m not risking my ass going back to juvie for this bullshit fantasy of yours. you can’t save archie, okay? especially not like this. just do what he’s asked you to do from day fucking one…stay out of it and let his lawyers handle it.” toni says firmly. she pushes past jughead without looking back, ducking under the tape with a huff. 

 

she’s going home. home to cheryl, home to her family-

 

“god, you two are loud! wasn’t hard to find you at all!”

 

toni’s heart _falls._

 

she comes to a stop a few feet away from the yellow tape, her body immediately beginning to shake, and not from the cold as she hears jughead’s pounding footsteps behind her.

 

he grips toni’s hand and tugs her back behind him just as penny peabody moves from behind a tree closer toward them, that cheshire like grin etched on her face as she extends her arms, welcoming them to what toni can only assumes she thinks is a show.

 

and at that moment, as at least six or seven ghoulies trail appear from the trees around her as if on que, the scene coming together like theatrically like a fucking movie, except nothing about this is fantasy. it’s reality.

 

they’re cornered.

 

fuck. fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-

 

“ooooh, better not let the northside blonde see you holding hands with pinky here, jug. don’t think she’ll be too happy about that…neither will jessica rabbit.” penny teases with a wicked grin, her eyes falling down to their intertwined hands for a brief moment before she looks back up at them with a smirk.

 

“what are you doing here?” jughead demands, but his trembling voice betrays his strength, and toni can at least admire that he’s still trying to be the serpent king right now as penny chuckles and steps even closer to them. 

 

how did she even know they were here? god, what if this entire thing had been a set up from the beginning?

 

wait…holy shit.

 

_holy fucking shit-_

 

“it was a set up from the beginning, jug, fuck…” toni whispers under her breath, her hand squeezing jughead’s, half in fear, half in reprimand for bringing them here in the fucking first place.

 

how could he be so fucking stupid?! of course this was a fucking set up, hiram must’ve known jughead was overhearing them, knew how desperate he was to help archie…

 

they’re screwed. they’re so fucking screwed-

 

“a little birdy told me the serpent king was gonna try and snoop around the crime scene to keep his red haired bestie out of the slammer. you know, for a leader, you’re not very bright, jones. you really didn’t see this coming a mile away?” penny says, laughing loudly as the other ghoulies crack their knuckles threateningly, a wicked glint in every single one of their eyes.

 

toni feels the sweat drip down her brow, feels it coating every inch of her skin, the cold no longer an issue as she swallows thickly and looks to jughead.

 

_fucking idiot, a complete and total fucking idiot-_

 

“archie’s my best friend. he doesn’t deserve what’s happening to him. if there was a way for me to keep him out of jail, i was gonna take it.” jughead says through clenched teeth, but toni can see the realization of what he’s gotten them both into shining in his eyes as he looks back at toni with nothing but despair shining in them.

 

part of toni feels like she should be reassuring him that she doesn’t blame him, but she’d be fucking lying if she did that. this is all his fucking fault completely.

 

how could he fall for hiram’s trap so easily? he’s not the only idiot, though, toni should’ve asked him for the complete fucking transcript of what hiram said. she’s just as much to blame for following him here like an idiot without getting the full details first…

 

_focus toni, just focus on getting the fuck out of this alive, please-_

 

“mmm, we know. or, well, hiram does at least. he actually knows you better than you think, serpent king. you’re really messing with the wrong people here, jughead. you think you can outsmart a guy who has more money to his name than you could ever dream of having? he’s got a lot of people on his payroll, and some of them are even just along for the ride, willing to work voluntarily to make sure the serpents are wiped out of existence.” penny says enthusiastically, stepping even closer to them as the ghoulies follow behind her, and toni feels jughead move in front of her until she’s completely hidden from view behind his body.

 

she appreciates his bravery, but him shielding her isn’t gonna do shit to protect her.

 

god, how could penny do this? she was a serpent once, too…how could she turn her back on them so easily? how could she join this crusade of hiram’s to wipe the serpents out? 

 

wait…wiped out of existence?

 

_“toni, she told me she’d stop at nothing to make sure all the serpents were wiped out of existence…if she hurts you…”_

 

fuck. hiram had the same damn idea penelope blossom did. but toni gets why penelope wants them gone. what was hiram’s endgame here?

 

“why? why is he so hellbent on making sure we’re out of the picture? he has the southside, the serpents no longer claim territory over it. his sodale project is pretty much complete…why does he even care about us anymore?” toni asks despite herself, her curiosity getting the better of her. penny simply laughs and shrugs as she tilts her head to the side and stares at toni with a grin.

 

“well, southside pinkette, i guess that’s for me to know, and you to…dot, dot, dot…” she calls out teasingly. toni’s about to reply when jughead squeezes her hand and yells out instead.

 

“look, we get it. we’ll keep our noses out of the dirt, consider the message delivered. we’ll go back to riverdale and we can pretend this never happened.” jughead says firmly, his whole body stiff with tension. penny’s laugh is almost maniacal as she looks at jughead in amusement, almost in disbelief that he’s even trying to negotiate a deal when they’re outnumbered two to eight.

 

toni’s starting to wonder if jughead’s got any brain cells left, or if he's just getting stupider by the minute to be honest.

 

“let you go?! when we’ve got the serpent king cornered? now why would we do that and waste a perfectly good opportunity to bring you down?” she says in a high pitched voice filled with fake confusion that she’s clearly using just to entertain herself, because all it does is make toni sick to her stomach.

 

they’re fucked. they’re so fucking fucked.

 

cheryl…she lied to her, she told her she was safe in riverdale with her grandfather and instead she was here, cornered by ghoulies and probably seconds away from getting her ass kicked or even killed.

 

fuck, she can’t die tonight, she needs to get back to cheryl…

 

“fine. you can have me. let toni go. i dragged her into this mess, she’s not part of any of this. let her go back home, you can do whatever you want with me.” jughead says, his voice shaking, and toni’s head snaps to him in shock.

 

“what? jughead-.” she starts, but he squeezes her hand to silence her, his eyes never leaving penny’s as he clenches his jaw, but holds his head high.

 

“you heard what i said. those are my conditions. you let toni go, and i won’t fight you. you can do whatever you want with me.” he says firmly, determination shining in his eyes. 

 

no, no, toni couldn’t leave him behind, they were gonna fucking kill him, as pissed off as she is with him, she doesn’t want him to _fucking die-_

 

“tempting, but we’ve always liked a good fight. besides…we’re kind of glad toni’s here. gotta admit, we really thought you’d bring sweet pea or fangs, but with her here, it means we get to kill two birds with one stone. penelope blossom isn’t too happy with our pink haired friend here defiling her daughter.” penny says, craning her neck to look behind jughead at toni with her tongue brushing over her top teeth in a sadistic grin.

 

_well, fuck._

 

if there was any doubt in her mind before, there definitely isn’t now. it’s safe to say hiram and penelope were definitely working together now…working together to bring down the serpents…bring down toni…

 

_she really is going to do whatever it takes to keep me and cheryl apart…_

 

toni grits her teeth, anger boiling up inside her. 

 

_let her fucking try…she can send a hundred ghoulies after me, i’m going home tonight whether she fucking likes it or not._

 

“you know, out of curiosity, despite the fact that it killed the cat…how exactly did you two end up together?” penny says, looking at toni in wonder as she steps even closer. jughead growls under his breath as the ghoulies behind her step closer too, but toni doesn’t take her eyes of penny.

 

_no, she doesn’t get to hear about it, she won’t get _shit_ from me, especially about cheryl-_

 

“like you care. i’m not telling you shit, so if you’re gonna kick our asses, hurry up and get on with it so i can return the favor and get home to my girl.” toni snarls, yanking her hand out of jughead’s firm grip and curling her fingers into fists to prepare herself for the inevitable fight that’s about to break out.

 

she’ll fight fucking tooth and nail, she doesn’t give a shit. she’ll fight until her knuckles are bruised and bloody and she has not an ounce of strength left in her. she’s not dying here tonight, no matter how badly penelope wants her six feet under. 

 

she’s going home to cheryl whether she likes it or not.

 

penny laughs, an almost impressed look on her face as she runs her fingers through her hair with a nod.

 

“i admire your tenacity, topaz. it’s not gonna save you though.” toni swallows thickly and can’t help the tears that well in her eyes at the pain she’s about to endure, but she thinks of red hair and red lips and feels nothing but strength flood her as penny looks at the ghoulies gathered around them, the wicked glint in her eyes returning before she nods at jughead and toni.

 

“sick ‘em, boys.” 

 

\-------------

 

the shrill sound of a phone ringing wakes cheryl up suddenly, and she groans and looks at the alarm clock on her bedside table, her eyes adjusting to the darkness quickly to examine the red numbers glowing brilliantly in the dark around her.

 

the numbers two and eighteen stare back at her piercingly, causing her to squint as she wonders who the fuck is calling her at almost two thirty in the morning. 

 

she lets out another whine and buries her face into her pillow, trying to ignore the sound so she can fall back asleep before she feels someone stir beside her.

 

for a second, she thinks it’s toni, a smile lighting up her face almost automatically before she sees raven hair instead of pink as veronica lifts her head out from underneath the pillow she’s got smashed over her face to glare at cheryl angrily.

 

“answer the goddamn phone, cheryl.” she grumbles, reaching a hand up to slap cheryl’s arm as josie groans on the other side of veronica loudly.

 

“why is it so loud?” she grabs her pillow and curls it over her ears to block out the sound, and cheryl lets out a tired sigh before she grabs her phone off her bedside table to see sweet pea’s name flashing right at the top. 

 

she blinks away the fatigue and the sleep before she chuckles and reaches a hand over to slap josie’s arm playfully.

 

“it’s your boyfriend, josie.” cheryl teases, unable to help herself, and she hears josie grumble beside veronica from underneath the mass of feathers incased in fabric.

 

“tell him to call back at a reasonable hour.” cheryl manages to make out. veronica chuckles under her breath before she yawns loudly, and cheryl rolls her eyes and answers the phone before falling onto her back once more, a hand reaching up to rub her eyes tiredly.

 

“hello?” she manages to say through a heavy yawn.

 

“cheryl, you…you need to get to the hospital.” 

 

sweet pea’s voice is trembling, like he’s holding back tears in an effort to get his words out coherently, and cheryl feels the life just _leave her._

 

she sits up wildly, her heart racing against her chest as she licks her dry lips and swallows thickly.

 

“sweet pea…what happened? is it toni’s grandfather?” she asks, all traces of fatigue or sleep gone at the sound of his panicked voice.

 

oh god, oh god, what if he was dead, what if-

 

“no, it’s…fuck, cheryl, it’s toni. she’s been stabbed.” 

 

the phone drops.

 

it falls onto her lap with a dull thud, cheryl barely acknowledging the pain in her thigh when it lands harshly on top of it, the pain in her heart completely taking over. 

 

the sound of the phone dropping grabs the attention of veronica and josie, the both of them frowning before they sit up and slowly and watch as cheryl blossom struggles to breathe, her whole body trembling almost violently, her breaths escaping her raggedly as a soft whimper leaves her-

 

something’s wrong. veronica knows it right away.

 

cheryl’s eyes are almost bulging, her hands scrabbling at her own chest before they touch a small red jewel hanging on a gold chain around her neck-

 

veronica doesn’t hesitate. she grabs cheryl’s phone off her lap and holds it to her ear.

 

“it’s veronica. what happened?” she demands. sweet pea’s voice sounds strained, like he’s barely containing tears, but at his words, veronica’s heart just utterly _stops._

 

“veronica, it’s toni, she’s been stabbed. get cheryl here now, it…it doesn’t look good.” 

 

veronica takes a moment, a single moment to process his words before she’s immediately leaping into action.

 

she ends the call and looks to josie, who still looks confused as she reaches out to rub cheryl’s back with wide eyes filled with worry before she looks at veronica.

 

“what’s going on?” she whispers.

 

veronica can’t even find the words to say. she simply jumps out of the bed and reaches for her purse to grab her car keys, shoving cheryl’s phone and her own into it as she does.

 

“go get my car ready, we need to get to the hospital. i’ve got her, josie. go!” veronica throws her the keys, watches as josie catches them, fumbling slightly from how fast everything’s moving before she’s jumping off the bed and rushing out of the door. veronica swallows thickly and moves around the bed until she’s eye level with cheryl, who’s breathing is only getting worse-

 

“cheryl, hey, look at me!” veronica grips the red head’s face in her hands, cheryl’s eyes unfocused as tears fall down her cheeks and, god, she’s shaking _so badly-_

 

she can’t even hear veronica. she can see her in front of her, a barely there blur, but her ears are ringing so loudly, she doesn’t hear a single word she’s saying.

 

stabbed. toni was stabbed.

 

toni was dying…

 

“CHERYL!” 

 

veronica shakes her head in her hands lightly, causing cheryl to blink as her tears fall down her cheeks and veronica’s face comes into focus.

 

“cheryl, you have to stay strong right now, we need to get to the hospital, okay? cheryl, please…” veronica’s voice is urgent, but not unkind, but does it even matter?

 

toni was stabbed. she was in the hospital, probably bleeding out on top of a cold metal table right now-

 

oh god, cheryl can’t feel her fucking body-

 

_it’s coming true…it’s all coming true, cheryl, everything you love is taken from you, you did this to her, you put her in danger the second you fell in love with her-_

 

she shuts down.

 

she doesn’t even feel veronica drag her off the bed, doesn’t feel her wrap her body in her coat, or sling her arm over her shoulders to drag her out of the room and to the car.

 

she just…shuts down.

 

_“you’ve never known love, cheryl. except to rip it apart.”_

 

everything she loved was taken away from her. it was her curse. first it was heather, then it was jason, and now…now it was toni…

 

her third mark. her soulmate, meeting her demise…

 

all because she fell in love with cheryl. all because cheryl fell in love with her. she destroyed everything she touched, everything she loved-

 

toni was stabbed. toni was _dying._ was probably already dead-

 

_“you’ve never known love, cheryl. except to rip it apart.”_

 

she shuts down.

 

and veronica lodge watches in nothing but horror as cheryl blossom’s eyes go blank and her whole body simply _stops responding._

 

“josie, get us to the hospital, NOW!”


	7. the cheryl blossom curse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did y'all enjoy 3x05!? i have to say, it's my favorite episode to date and that choni kiss was soooo cute! short, but absolutely adorable! i also heard madelaine confirmed that cheryl is a lesbian, which made me super happy! i kind of always headcannoned her as lesbian, but didn't want to write her as one just because i didn't want to erase her bisexuality if it existed, but now that we have confirmation she's one hundred percent gay, i'll definitely be writing her as a lesbian in future fics...and i may just have her come to terms with it in this fic too!
> 
> anyway, i hope you enjoy this chapter, it's angsty, lol sorry. also someone asked me if i have a twitter, i thought i should let you guys know that i do not have a twitter, unfortunately! i don't have any social media :( but let me know if you think i should get one maybe?
> 
> anyway, toodles! leave a comment letting me know what you think!

“miss topaz?! miss topaz, can you hear me?!”

 

lights. blinding lights flashing in her eyes, something itching, scratching at her face, she can’t remove it, her arms too heavy to lift-

 

pain. indescribable pain coursing through her whole body, but only one thing registering in her mind-

 

she’s dying. she’s _dying_ , and she never got to say goodbye, she never-

 

“cheryl…i w-want cheryl…” 

 

she doesn’t know if she’s said those words out loud, doesn’t know who’s hovering above her, doesn’t know who’s flashing these lights in her eyes, can barely see anything but colorful blurs because every fucking move she makes is just _pain, pain and more pain-_

 

why aren’t they listening to her? she’s dying, she’s going to die, she _has_ to say goodbye first-

 

“miss topaz?!” she groans at the way her arms seem to just collapse against her sides, eyes rolling into the back of her head-

 

cheryl…where’s cheryl, she wants _cheryl_ , she’s alone, she’s dying, can feel each ounce of blood leaving her body, her fucking tired body, she just wants to sleep, but she knows she can't because once she does, she won't fucking wake up, oh god-

 

she’s _scared._

 

she chokes on a sob, unable to stop herself as her body seems to slowly relax as if it’s being pulled under a tidal wave…

 

“we’re losing her! put her under, this surgery needs to start now!” 

 

no, no, no they can’t do surgery, what if she dies on the table, SHE HAS TO SAY GOODBYE-

 

darkness pulls her under before she can ask them to stop.

 

she never got to say goodbye.

 

\-----------

 

“cheryl? come on, we’re here…we need to get inside, find out what’s going on.” 

 

veronica lodge’s voice is soft in her ear, her gentle, warm fingers brushing cheryl’s hair back from her face, but cheryl bites down on her lower lip for the hundredth time this night, can feel her lip beginning to bruise from the pressure as she ignores veronica once again.

 

she can’t go in there.

 

she can’t go in there, because once she’s in there, it becomes _real._

 

it becomes real that toni is dying, is maybe already dead, and cheryl can’t do it, she can’t, she can’t, she can’t, she can’t-

 

“cheryl, please…i know you’re scared, but toni needs you right now, okay? you can do this, you’re so much stronger than you think you are. you can do this.” josie’s voice in her ear now, her tone almost pleading, filled with fear over the unknown as she rubs circles into cheryl’s back…

 

cheryl feels like death. not so much in the emotional or physical sense, but more in the literal sense. the walking goddamn grim reaper who destroys everything she touches...she has half a mind to tell josie and veronica to flee, to run as fast and as hard as they can away from her lest they fall victim to her curse as well, but she can't even bring it in herself to say anything...

 

"cheryl...toni's in there, we need to go in..." josie sighs, but her words stir something inside the redhead.

 

toni…she was in there, she was _in there_ , bleeding out and dying and cheryl was out here, unable to move, to breathe, to think, without pain causing her heart to ache. this wasn't supposed to happen...it wasn't supposed to happen like this, toni was supposed to grow old with her, right by her side with cheryl laughing at her dentures or poking at her gray hair playfully...it wasn't supposed to end like this, at the age of sixteen from a stab wound with cheryl not there by her side...

 

cheryl inhales shakily, a soft whimper escaping her before she can stop it, and veronica sighs and reaches up to cradle cheryl’s face in her hands gently, eyes filled with sadness and despair, but for what, cheryl doesn't know...if toni dies tonight, it'll hurt veronica, sure, but it won't mean the end for her. she'll move on within a couple of weeks and continue on with life as she should.

 

if toni dies, cheryl has _nothing._ cheryl has no reason to keep moving forward, no reason to continue with life as she should...

 

“we’ve got you, we’re not gonna leave your side for a second, okay? i already messaged betty and archie, they’re on their way…your friends are here for you, cheryl. we’ll be with you every step of the way, just remember that…” veronica whispers, her voice filled with concern, and the reason why...that cheryl does know.

 

veronica’s scared for her. cheryl knows she is, she can hear it in her voice…

 

veronica witnessed first-hand what cheryl falling into darkness looks like…was there on the frozen riverbank as cheryl beat her bloody fists against the ice in a desperation to get to jason…to be reunited with the only person who she ever loved and loved her in return.

 

god, what she wouldn't give to have jason with her right now...maybe if archie had never saved her, none of this would've happened. toni would be okay, and god, just that thought alone _kills her..._

 

"cheryl, don't forget that..." veronica repeats more firmly. perhaps she can see the defeat shining in cheryl's eyes right now...perhaps she’s scared cheryl will do the same thing she did that day at sweetwater river if she loses toni tonight.

 

cheryl doesn’t have the heart or the strength to lie and reassure her that won’t happen. she doesn't have the strength right now to do much of anything...

 

god, how did this happen? how did she get stabbed, how…how could this all have gone so wrong so quickly? she was just with her grandfather, she was supposed to be safe at the lakeside, what the fuck happened?

 

toni… _her_ toni…she can’t die, she can’t, cheryl can’t lose her, she’s already lost so fucking much…losing toni will be the final cut. the final thread keeping her together will snap beyond repair and cheryl's positive that nothing will bring her back from that. 

 

and the thought fucking terrifies her to no end.

 

“josie, get inside and grab sweet pea, maybe he can get through to her.” veronica murmurs, sitting up slightly from her position sitting on her haunches in front of cheryl, who has her feet firmly planted on the asphalt outside the backseat of veronica's car. veronica looks behind cheryl in the backseat to josie as she says those words, and josie sighs before she opens the door at the other end and exits the car slowly, the car and cheryl jolting slightly from the impact of her slamming the door once she does. 

 

cheryl sinks against the backseat, teeth gnawing on her trembling bottom lip painfully, causing her to wince at the already bruised and flayed flesh of her bottom lip as her teeth scrape against it and more tears fall down her cheeks. her throat is dry, her whole body is aching, her head is pounding with how many tears she’s shed in the last half an hour, and god, she just wants to go back to yesterday afternoon…wants to beg toni to _stay_ with her, why didn’t she tell her to stay…

 

what happened? god, what happened, how did this happen, cheryl doesn't understand, the lakeside was supposed to be safe...did someone try to break into her grandfather's trailer? did toni try to fend them off, is that why she was attacked? so many fucking questions, and she knows the only way she's going to get answers is if she goes in there and talks to sweet pea or fangs or whoever is in there, but if she fucking goes in there, it becomes _real..._

 

“cheryl, i need you to just say something, please…you’re scaring me, you haven’t said a word since you got the call.” veronica says hoarsely, her warm fingers interlacing with cheryl's as she gives them a desperate squeeze, as if cheryl's a toy that can be brought to life with a quirky catchphrase if you squeeze her hard enough...

 

cheryl can’t speak. she’s scared if she opens her mouth, nothing but screams of agony will escape her. why doesn’t veronica understand that? why can’t everyone just leave her alone to cry and mourn and be scared and be emotional about the fact that her girlfriend was stabbed and is _dying_?

 

 _toni’s dying…oh god…oh god, toni’s dying, she’s dying in there,_ this can't be happening, she can't lose her...please, if there's anything good she's ever done in her life, let it be acknowledged despite all the bad, despite all the bullshit, let it be acknowledged so that toni doesn't die here tonight-

 

“cheryl!?” 

 

sweet pea’s voice echoes out loudly, cheryl's heart aching at the desperation and the anguish in his voice as veronica looks to the left in surprise at the sound of heavy footfalls. she jumps up and moves back just as a hand curls around the door and pulls it open further.

 

sweet pea ducks down, his strong features shining underneath the light on the roof of the car as he immediately grips cheryl’s shoulder, his eyes filled with concern and also bloodshot red from what cheryl suspects is tears. he leans in even closer and grips cheryl’s face in his hands before looking her in the eyes. 

 

“listen to me, toni’s in surgery right now, red. i know you're scared, i am too, but tiny is strong, she’s gonna make it through this, you hear me? she’s in surgery, we haven’t lost her.” 

 

_we haven’t lost her…_

 

the word hangs there, unspoken, but it's impact still heavy in the air.

 

'yet.' he avoided saying they haven't lost her 'yet'....

 

but fuck, if cheryl's thankful to him for not saying it. if he had said that...cheryl's already on the cusp of losing her fucking mind, that word would just send her over the edge...

 

but it's still a 'yet'. they haven't lost her 'yet', toni was still fighting...

 

_she’s in surgery…she’s still alive, she’s still **alive** , fuck, thank you, thank you, thank you-_

 

“i need you to be strong, too, red. i need you to get out of this car with me and get inside that hospital, okay? you and i both know toni’s fighting to stay alive for _you._ so do the same. fight through this pain for _her_ , cheryl.” sweet pea growls through gritted teeth, not unkindly, but with determination.

 

his words reverberate in her mind almost painfully.

 

_"you and i both know toni's fighting to stay alive for **you.** "_

 

why...why did this happen to them, why was cheryl's happiness ripped away every single time she got comfortable, what horrible, unspeakable acts of crime had she committed in a past life or this life to condemn her to suffer like this?

 

cheryl looks up into sweet pea's eyes, blinks away the sting from the tears she’s shed and sees nothing but fear shining in the brown orbs of the boy sitting before her. 

 

_he’s scared too, cheryl…toni isn’t just your family…_

 

she's being selfish. she knows she is with this behavior, but fuck, it's not like she can help it. after everything she's lost, fuck, toni was supposed to be _it._ no more bullshit, no more craziness, no more horror...and yet all three had landed on her lap right now. 

 

she needs to know. she needs to know what the fuck happened-

 

“how…” cheryl croaks out, her throat aching from lack of use from the last forty five minutes that she's remained quiet. sweet pea’s jaw clenches as he scoffs and shakes his head, but before he can say anything, cheryl hears a voice echo out in the night sky from behind him.

 

“it’s my fault.”

 

cheryl hears his voice, but finds herself wishing she hadn't.

 

jughead jones.

 

sweet pea growls under his breath, the inexplicable rage that takes over his face making cheryl wince as he steps back and turns to face the beanie wearing boy, and cheryl finally gets a clear view and sees f.p, jughead and fangs standing there, fangs looking equally as scared and miserable as sweet pea with his head and shoulders slumped in defeat, tears shining in his eyes. f.p looks at his son with, to cheryl's surprise, nothing but anger, that rage that cheryl's only seen a handful of times from the former serpent king simmering like a shaken soda can in his eyes, ready to pop off at any moment-

 

something happened. something happened here-

 

“get the hell out of here! she doesn’t want to see you, none of us do!” sweet pea hisses, taking a step toward jughead with clenched fists, and cheryl has no doubt he'll swing at the serpent king without a second's hesitation before josie rests a hand on his chest and pushes him back slightly with a shake of her head.

 

"sweet pea..." she says his name softly, and cheryl can see sweet pea's eyes soften before he's looking at jughead with a growl.

 

"you have no idea what he's done!" he snarls, clenched fists trembling now, but again, josie shakes her head and looks down to meet cheryl's gaze.

 

"whatever he's done, she needs to hear it. so hold your anger until she knows the truth." josie murmurs. sweet pea's eyes fall on cheryl, and he visibly relaxes suddenly, his shoulders no longer tense, but his fists still clenched as he looks at jughead with nothing but hatred.

 

jughead swallows thickly before his eyes meet cheryl's once more, and the red haired girl merrily waits for an explanation on just what the fuck is going on here.

 

whatever jughead's done, it's the reason toni's in the hospital in the first place, she knows it. sweet pea wouldn't get this mad at jughead for no fucking reason-

 

“cheryl, i…i overheard hiram at the courthouse yesterday saying something about leaving a weapon at shadow lake…” jughead croaks out, his eyes landing on veronica, whose eyes widen before she's scoffing in disbelief.

 

"of course my father's involved in this..." she grumbles. cheryl closes her eyes, tries to block them out, because none of this is a fucking explanation as to why toni was currently bleeding out and dying inside the hospital mere feet away from her to the left-

 

when she opens her eyes, she's surprised to see jughead is crying, tears falling down his cheeks as he steps closer to her, and cheryl can see the bruises and cuts on his face as they're suddenly illuminated under the harsh lighting of the hospital's street lamps, the bandaged cut on his forehead and the way he winces with each step he takes toward her…

 

_"it's my fault..."_

 

what was his fault? what was his fucking fault-

 

“i asked toni for help to go there and try to find whatever it was hiram was hiding so we could help archie…when we got there, penny and the ghoulies were waiting for us. it was a set up.” jughead whispers, his voice small and filled with complete and utter guilt.

 

cheryl closes her eyes, and his next words barely register, everything still processing, but one thing coming through stronger than all of it put together.

 

toni lied to her. toni told her she was going to be staying with her grandfather and she _lied_ to her...

 

_that doesn't matter right now, cheryl, please...i know you have a problem with it, with people lying to you in general, but she's fucking dying in there-_

 

“we managed to make it to our bikes and we drove back to riverdale as fast and as hard as we could, but the ghoulies were right behind us every step of the way. they blew out my tire and toni…she came back for me. but they caught up to us and a fight broke out and…” jughead trails off, and cheryl doesn't need to hear the rest to know what happened...

 

toni was stabbed. now they were here. it's not rocket science...

 

it's silent for a long time, everyone taking in jughead's words, and as more time goes by, cheryl finds nothing but anger coursing throughout her entire body.

 

jughead came to toni...he came to toni for help…to help him try to find something to help archie…archie who begged him not to do anything, to stay out of it, and jughead _still_ got involved-

 

cheryl steps out of the car on shaky legs, watches jughead tense up as she slowly begins making her way toward him, ignoring how hard her legs are shaking and how each step is almost agonizing after how tense her muscles have been for the last hour.

 

toni is dying because of him.

 

she’s going to kill him. she’s going to destroy him, archie told him to leave it alone and he fucking didn’t and now toni was _dying…_

 

his fault, his fault, his fault, _his fault-_

 

jughead jones’s eyes widen as he takes in cheryl’s appearance, her bare feet, the beige coat she’s wearing covering the nightgown underneath, face free of makeup with tears still falling down her flushed cheeks because toni is fucking dying and she’s pretty sure she won’t ever stop fucking crying at this point about it-

 

“cheryl, i’m so sorry-.” 

 

her palm connects with his cheek once, twice, three times, four, over and over and over and over again and again and again-

 

“cheryl!” 

 

strong arms wrap around her chest and pull her back and off jughead, a scream escaping her throat before she can stop it, and she's not even sure if it's a scream of anguish or a scream of anger, but either way, it echoes across the night sky loudly. she doesn't fight sweet pea's hold on her, watches as f.p grab his son by the lapels of his serpent jacket and pushes him back as jughead raises his hands in surrender and spits out blood from his mouth that cheryl can't help but feel smug about.

 

“let her go, i deserve it!” he shouts, as if his masochism makes up for getting toni stabbed, tears falling down his cheeks as his bottom lip trembles, but cheryl feels not a single ounce of fucking sympathy.

 

in fact, the sight only makes cheryl fight against sweet pea’s hold now.

 

“YOU PROMISED ME YOU’D KEEP HER SAFE, YOU TRAITOR! IT SHOULD’VE BEEN YOU!” cheryl screams at the top of her lungs, unable to stop the words from coming out, but she doesn't want to stop them either way. he needs to hear it, needs to hear what he's done because he promised cheryl, he promised her the day she helped get f.p out of prison that he would keep toni safe as repayment, and this is what he does instead? put toni's life in danger, get her killed-

 

jughead looks at her in surprise, and cheryl has no doubt in her goddamn mind that he forgot about his promise to her, that he forgot about his duty even as serpent king to keep his people safe no matter what, and when he tries to open his mouth to say something, f.p raises a finger in front of his face and glares at him before cheryl can do anything.

 

“shut up, boy! you’ve done enough goddamn damage tonight!” he roars, teeth bared and spit flying from his face. he looks absolutely _livid_ , and cheryl knows he has good reason to be. he gave jughead the position of power, gave him the serpent king title, and this is what he was doing with it?

 

jughead hangs his head in shame, his whole body shaking before he nods once and begins making his way further down the ramp way of the entrance to the hospital, and as soon as he's out of sight, cheryl feels herself sag in sweet pea’s hold, unable to stop herself from screaming in pain and collapsing to her knees in anguish.

 

this was all his fault, all his fault, all his fault-

 

then why was she crying so fucking much? why was she feeling guilty instead of angry?

 

sweet pea falls down with her, his hold still tight as he whispers into her ear softly in an effort to calm her down.

 

“i got you, red…shh, i got you…”

 

it should comfort her, having sweet pea by her side, but fuck, all she can think about is how his arms are too big to be the arms she _wants_ around her, and it just makes her cry even harder.

 

because toni went to shadow lake for _her._ because archie saved _her_ life and toni felt like she owed him, it’s that simple. this isn’t just jughead’s fault, it’s _hers_ , too. she should’ve never told toni anything, should've never opened up to her and confided in her about her attempted suicide, it only made everything so much fucking worse...toni only did this because she felt like she owed archie something now, because he saved the girl she loved, that’s what’s gotten her into this fucking mess-

 

she’s dying. she’s fucking dying and it’s all cheryl’s fault because she couldn't stay strong, she couldn't just stop being weak for a single second to fight through the impulse to tell toni what happened that day at sweetwater river-

 

“cheryl, breathe…” veronica’s by her side again, her voice gentle in cheryl's ear, but cheryl doesn’t find comfort in her best friend being by her side at all.

 

how can she when she's the reason her girlfriend is dying right now? 

 

cheryl takes in a shuddering breath, but it isn’t enough, it isn’t fucking enough-

 

“fuck...hey, red, you’ve gotta breathe-.”

 

“back off, sweet pea, give her some room!” she hears josie's frantic voice before the warmth of sweet pea’s body disappears, his strong arms no longer wrapped around her body, and as a result, cheryl falls forward on her hands and knees now, trying so fucking desperately to just _breathe,_ but it's like her body is refusing the oxygen it so desperately craves-

 

toni, selfless, brave, _beautiful_ toni…cheryl can almost see her turning back on her bike, jumping off it to grab jughead before the ghoulies surrounded her and prevented her for getting any further…

 

the blood, god, there must’ve been so much fucking blood...cheryl doesn't even know where she was stabbed, was it her chest, her abdomen, her leg? who the fuck knows, all that matters, god...

 

toni was probably scared. she was probably scared and dying, bleeding out on the side of the road with only jughead fucking jones by her side because cheryl wasn’t there for her-

 

why did toni lie, why didn't toni tell her, god...cheryl would've gone with them, would've been there by her side, maybe could've stopped this all from fucking happening-

 

everything suddenly becomes muted, muffled voices and the sound of heavy footsteps crashing onto the asphalt loudly, but cheryl can barely hear them over the sound of the blood rushing in her ears, her heart thundering loudly, her lungs begging for air as her whole body begins to shake violently-

 

more strong arms grip her, pulling her back until she’s sitting on her butt on the asphalt and gasping for air desperately.

 

“put your head between your knees and keep breathing.” a voice breathes very close into her ear.

 

archie.

 

cheryl whimpers, but draws her knees up to her chest and places her head between them, breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth obediently as archie rubs her back gently, his large hands brushing her hair back from her face as he sighs.

 

“keep breathing…ronnie, take over. make sure she keeps breathing deeply in and out…” 

 

cheryl feels smaller hands begin rubbing her back as she closes her eyes and keeps breathing, but she doesn’t get a second of peace, a moment to try and relax before-

 

“WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!” 

 

archie’s voice is filled with rage, and cheryl knows he’s absolutely fucking _livid_ , is possibly even angrier than she is because he asked them over and fucking over again not to get involved, not to do anything that could jeopardize his case, but of course, jughead jones, the boy who only thought about himself, did it anyway, and now everything was falling apart-

 

veronica sighs and leans in close to whisper into her ear as she keeps rubbing circles into her back. 

 

“ignore them, cheryl, just focus on breathing, please…” she murmurs.

 

why do they keep saying that, god, can't they see? she can't breathe...she can't fucking breathe because her girlfriend is dying and all she wants...god, all she wants is her.

 

she just wants toni…she doesn’t want to be in the middle of all this bullshit, she just wants her girlfriend back home safe in thistlehouse, please, please, that’s all she’s asking for, begging for, pleading for, is for toni to come back, to walk through the doors of that hospital with a laugh on her face as if this was all a game-

 

“i w-want t-toni-.” cheryl manages to gasp out. 

 

she just wants toni in her arms right now, not lying on a cold metal table as strangers poked and prodded around in her body without knowing the story behind the thin scars on her back, without knowing the details and intricacies of the way little toni topaz worked...how she'd giggle when you tickled her ribs or how she'd gasp when you'd kiss the inside of her thighs or her hipbones...how she sometimes snorted when she laughed too hard or how the tip of her nose would turn red whenever she cried...how she'd purr when you played with her hair or how her tongue would dart out to wet her lips just a tiny bit before every bite of food she took...

 

she was nothing but a body to fix to them, but god, she was so much more to cheryl...she just wants her back, please, please bring her back-

 

she hears josie suddenly sigh on the other side of her before lips are being pressed to the back of her head ever so gently.

 

“i know, cheryl, i know..."

 

"josie, b-bring her b-back, make her okay again, p-please..." cheryl pleads, begs and pleads her best friend to do something even though she knows there's _nothing_ , absolutely nothing josie can do...

 

"if i had that power, cheryl, god, i would and you know i would... but i don't, and i’m so sorry, cheryl...i'm so, so sorry...” she whispers into her ear, and cheryl feels josie grip her shoulders and slowly pull her in close until she sinks into josie’s arms with a loud cry of exhaustion and anguish, her eyes burning with pain and her whole body aching so fucking much...

 

she wants toni back…she wants her back, she wants her off that table, she wants her happy and healthy and _here…_

 

“i w-want her back…i just w-want her b-back, please…”

 

\----------------

 

three hours pass.

 

three, long, torturous hours...the only indication of how much time has passed being the sun as it breaks over the horizon, flooding the hospital with sunlight, and cheryl’s quite sure she’s never felt this exhausted before. not even when she was kidnapped by the ghoulies did she feel this hopeless and...utterly fatigued. 

 

her eyelids continuously droop as they have been for the last two hours, sleep desperate to claim her, to take her to the deep unknown where everything was still and calm, but despite how tempting it sounds, she fights it off with everything in her, refusing to fall into unconsciousness for a single second while toni remains in limbo.

 

the surgeon had come out to update them only once, telling them that he couldn't stay long because they were still working hard on her, that she was fighting with everything she had in her to pull through, and fuck, the man was a goddamn natural at his job, because cheryl couldn’t pick up a single signal in his eyes to determine whether or not he was lying. 

 

she doesn't see why he would, but not knowing if toni was alive or not, fuck...

 

he had run out of there before she could question him further.

 

she was still in the dark on whether toni was actually going to pull through or not, and the last three hours have been more excruciatingly, mind numbingly torturous than anything the ghoulies had done to her when they kidnapped her, more painful than any slap or punch penelope blossom swung her way, more heartbreaking than losing her twin brother, her father, losing _everything_ she ever loved and held dear…

 

toni was all she had left, the only thing she loved, the only thing she held dear anymore, if she lost her, that was it.

 

that was it…

 

what would be the point anymore? cheryl's quite sure there simply wouldn't be one. she already lost one soulmate, for her to lose another...that would truly be the end of her life as she knew it. and if that was the case...what was the point in living on anymore?

 

her eyes follow sweet pea's boots as he paces back and forth almost in a trance, and she finds herself thinking of the three people huddled up outside right now in the chilly weather of spring. 

 

jughead, betty and f.p have stayed outside for the most part at cheryl's request. because her cousin had come rushing up to her and had hugged her close, had told her that she was so, so sorry, that she should've known something bad was going to happen-

 

"what...you knew?" cheryl had managed to get out, and when betty had hesitated before launching into a tale about how jughead had promised her nothing bad would happen to them, cheryl had pushed her back in disgust, refusing to see the serpent king or her cousin after hearing that essentially, betty knew about jughead’s plan and still said nothing to her about it, still did nothing to try and stop her stupid boyfriend but pulling off this ridiculous stunt.

 

“cheryl, i’m so, so, so sorry, i didn’t think this would happen-.” betty had cried out before veronica had stepped in front of cheryl to cut her off.

 

“you should probably stay outside with jughead, betty.” veronica had said stiffly, and that had been that. f.p’s the only one who’s come in every once in a while to see if there was an update and to check on cheryl, but jughead stays away and cheryl knows it’s because he’s scared.

 

he’s scared for the moment that might occur...the moment of the surgeon telling them toni is dead...scared to come to what could be a heartbreaking truth, the potential reality that he’s responsible for the death of one of his own…

 

the ownership of knowing that he's taken away the one thing in cheryl blossom's life that makes her _happy._

 

this can’t be how it ends, it can’t be, it really can’t be…this wasn't in the plan, wasn't in the works when she thought of a future with toni by her side...this _can't be it..._

 

“cheryl, you need to drink some water…” josie’s face suddenly comes into her vision as she bends down to meet cheryl’s eyes where she’s laying on a row of seats in the waiting room. veronica had thrown a blanket over her about an hour ago after watching her shiver for what felt like hours, and cheryl didn't have the heart to tell her she was shaking from fear, not the weather. besides, even though it’s uncomfortable, cheryl hasn’t moved for a single second since the doctor gave them the last update.

 

she's not moving off this seat until she finds out if toni is okay or not.

 

josie holds up a small plastic cup with water in it, and cheryl somehow finds the strength to push herself up with shaky arms, her fingers closing around the cup. she takes a small sip, feels the cold liquid soothe her sore throat before she groans and drains it in two large gulps. she didn't realize how dehydrated she was from all the crying...

 

she passes the cup back to josie, who places it on the ground before she’s sitting down in the seat beside cheryl and pulling her back down. cheryl rests her head against josie’s thigh with a deep and shaky sigh, and her best friend begins playing with her hair gently in an effort so calm her with one hand as the other rubs up and down her arm soothingly.

 

it’s comforting. it’s not the same warmth that cheryl feels when she’s with toni, not by a long shot, but josie’s been her best friend for years, and having her here…it’s comforting. 

 

they’re all here for her and toni…archie hasn’t left either, could be sentenced to juvie in weeks but is choosing to spend the remainder of his free time here with cheryl, waiting for an update, and cheryl knows it’s because he also feels guilty for what’s happened to toni…if jughead hadn’t been so hellbent on getting archie out of his current predicament, toni wouldn’t be in danger of fucking dying right now…archie hasn't stepped outside to see betty and jughead once, and the anger is still blazing in his eyes three hours later, but every time he meets cheryl's eyes, his expression softens.

 

he’s stuck by cheryl’s side, hasn’t left the space to the right of her the entire night, his hand occasionally reaching out to grip her own, and veronica has moved between the both of them, playing the perfect role of girlfriend and best friend to them both. sweet pea and fangs haven’t left either, have stayed flanked on either side of cheryl like loyal doberman puppies, here to take over toni's job in her absence. 

 

cheryl’s thankful for all of them. when jason had died, cheryl had pushed everyone away and refused to let anyone help her, and as a result, she was alone. she had _no one._ but this time, her friends refused to leave her side…this time she had people with her, and god, as much pain as she’s in, it feels _good_ to know she has people who will stick by her side right now…

 

“fangs…” cheryl croaks out. josie’s fingers still in her hair, but fangs turns around from his position at the water cooler at the sound of his name and makes his way over to her, bending down to meet her eyes with a smile as he places his own cup of water on the ground momentarily to attend her.

 

“yeah, red?” he asks softly, those kind brown eyes boring into cheryl's and making her smile for the first time in almost four hours, but it's quickly replaced with a frown as it slowly dawns on her that someone is missing from this equation...

 

“thomas…has anyone told thomas yet?” cheryl asks hoarsely.

 

toni’s grandfather…he wasn’t here, why wasn't he here? now that cheryl knows toni was lying to her and wasn't staying with him at all, she can't help but wonder if the old man was even aware of anything that was going on right now. his granddaughter was in the hospital, on the verge of death...what if toni died and he didn’t know, cheryl can’t let that happen…she respects thomas too much to allow it.

 

fangs sighs and purses his lips before he suddenly shakes his head.

 

“no…f.p told us not to. he said thomas won’t be able to handle the stress of the situation, that it was best to leave him in the dark until we got the news that toni’s okay…” fangs says hollowly, jaw clenching and fists curling as he grips cheryl's hand in his own tightly.

 

cheryl swallows the lump in her throat, knows her next words are going to hurt, but prepares herself and looks up at him with tears clinging to her eyelashes.

 

“what if we don’t get that news? what if we get the opposite of that news? he d-deserves to know…” she whimpers, fresh tears falling before she can stop them at the thought of that surgeon walking through those doors with a solemn look on his face as he told them that toni was dead…gone forever…

 

_please, please don’t let that happen, please, for the love of god…_

 

god, it hurts to even think about it, she can't fucking _do this..._

 

“i know, but f.p knows him better than i do, cheryl. if he says thomas won’t be able to handle it…we can’t put another topaz at risk. tiny’s gonna pull through and _when_ she does…we’ll call thomas, i promise.” fangs says, his tone reassuring despite the fact that he clenches his jaw anxiously, and cheryl doesn't have the heart to tell him differently.

 

toni's fallen under the cheryl blossom curse. her chances of making it out of this alive were slim to none. all because she had fallen in love with her...

 

cheryl grips josie’s knee and turns onto her side away from fangs, willing herself not to break down, not to begin sobbing and crying uncontrollably like she so desperately wants to...instead, closes her eyes and listen to josie sigh before she feels josie's fingers moving through her hair once more. she hears fangs sigh behind her before he’s gripping her shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze.

 

how much longer…how much longer does she have to keep going through this, it's enough now...she can't sit here much longer with no news, no fucking word on whether or not her girlfriend was alive...how long does surgery fucking take to-

 

apparently not any longer. because finally, after three fucking hours, cheryl hears the sound of the waiting room’s doors banging open, and she jumps up and turns so quickly, her neck pounds with pain from the whiplash, but she doesn’t care.

 

she doesn’t care because toni’s surgeon walks through, looking absolutely exhausted, bile rising in cheryl’s throat at the sight of blood on his scrubs-

 

but he’s smiling. cheryl can see it, right there, bright white teeth on display-

 

she jumps up, throwing the blanket off herself without a care, all fatigue gone as she comes to a stop in front of him with a whimper, unable to get any words out, but he doesn't need her to.

 

“miss topaz made it through. the surgery was rough, and it was close a few times, but she’s strong…and one hell of a fighter.”

 

cheryl’s legs shake so hard, her knees knock together, and archie immediately grabs her and holds her up as he lets out a sigh of relief, tears welling in his eyes before he smiles.

 

“she’s gonna be okay?” he croaks out. the surgeon chuckles and nods once.

 

“she’s going to be okay. she suffered two severe lacerations to her right kidney, it began to shut down while we were in there with her, but we’ve managed to repair the damage…her right kidney won’t function at a hundred percent ever again, however, so she’s going to have a rough few weeks ahead of her, and it’s possible she may need a kidney transplant when she’s much older, depending of course on how she heals, but at least for right now…yes, she’s going to be okay.”

 

cheryl chokes on a sob of relief, but archie keeps her upright as she looks up at the ceiling and just...lets go.

 

she made it. she made it, toni made it, she was going to be okay, _oh god, oh god..._

 

"thank you...thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you..." she chants, tears falling before she’s forcing herself to calm down, her next words escaping her in a shaky and stuttering mess.

 

“c-can i s-see her, p-please?” she manages to gasp out, sniffling as she wipes away her tears with the back of her hand. the surgeon runs his fingers through his hair with a sigh before he nods slowly.

 

“yes, i suppose that will be fine, are you family?” he asks.

 

“i’m her girlfriend, her p-partner, we live together…” cheryl croaks out. the surgeon’s expression softens for a beat of a moment before he smiles.

 

“in that case, of course you can, but one visitor at a time. she’s just gone through incredibly invasive and traumatic surgery. she’s going to be in a lot of pain, so keep it to one person in the room, please.” he says sternly.

 

“go, cheryl. we’ll be right here.” sweet pea says firmly. cheryl feels guilty, and she's about to contest against sweet pea and tell him to go first, because fuck, he's known toni since she was a kid and he's her family, but fuck, _so is she_ and all cheryl can think about right now is seeing her girlfriend.

 

her very alive, very strong, very will powered girlfriend. 

 

_she made it..._

 

cheryl swallows the lump in her throat and nods once as sweet pea and fangs both give her encouraging smiles, and the surgeon waves her through the doors and begins leading her down a very familiar corridor that has cheryl's heart pounding against her chest painfully...

 

oh how strange it was, to be walking these halls once more...

 

he's taking her to the intensive care unit, and cheryl’s heart breaks as they pass the ward that her mother was in when she had burned down thornhill...cheryl's hit with the memories of her leaving this room and coming across a choking and spluttering toni topaz in the arms of sweet pea as she left her uncle’s room…

 

the first day they met…the first time they spoke…and they were back here now, under even worse circumstances, fuck…

 

_she’s okay, cheryl…she’s alive, she’s okay…_

 

“she’s in room two seventeen. she’s still under anesthesia, we're pretty sure she won't be up until well into the morning, but if she does wake up earlier, hit the call button on the side of her bed. don’t be alarmed by the tubes and the needles, they’re there to help her, okay?” he gives her shoulder a squeeze as they come to a stop outside a door marked ‘two fifteen’, and cheryl manages to mutter out a small ‘thank you’ before she’s walking two doors down until she’s in front of two seventeen.

 

_she's in there, she's in there, she's in there-_

 

god, every electrical impulse in her body right now is going haywire, and somehow, cheryl can feel the energy radiating off the red gemstone necklace toni had give her for christmas that's still worn almost religiously around her neck.

 

she hasn't taken it off for a single day since she got it all those months ago. not even the sisters of quiet mercy could pry it from her neck...cheryl had attempted to scratch their eyes out every time they tried. it resulted in punishment, but she didn't care...toni gave her that necklace, it wasn't leaving her skin for a single second. not now, not ever.

 

she takes a deep, shaky breath in before she pushes the door open slowly.

 

the room is small, beige walls and simple medical equipment strewn here and there before-

 

right in the middle of the hospital bed...everything else seems to just... _fall away._

 

she looks so small…so small in that gigantic white bed, tubes and needles sticking out of her arms and even her neck, and god, cheryl wants to scrub the image out of her mind, but it’s right here in front of her, plain to see...

 

her stab wound isn't her only injury, because of course it's not. she’s beaten…there’s scratches all over her face and scrapes up and down her arms, her eye black and bruised and so out of place on that beautiful, intricate face of hers, but at least not swollen...she just looks so…peaceful. like nothing could touch her in that state of mind, and god, what cheryl would give to be able to go on that astral plane of projection and dreams with her... 

 

cheryl swallows down the bile that rises in her throat again with more difficulty this time when she sees the spots of blood staining toni's skin before she’s walking forward, each step bringing her closer and closer to toni...

 

toni, it’s toni on that bed, the girl she loves, the girl who almost fucking died here today-

 

cheryl rushes forward with a whimper, feeling foolish for being so slow and hesitating, and she reaches out with a shaking hand, her cold fingers closing around one of toni’s.

 

the warmth, before the spark of electricity that indicates to cheryl that she's touching someone who knows the ins and outs of her better than no one else can, cheryl also registers that her hands are cold. they’re never cold, not to cheryl, toni always runs at a warmer temperature to her, but her hands…they’re cold.

 

_cold…they’re cold, she’s cold, why is she cold…_

 

she _was_ dead. the surgeon screwed up and-

 

“t-toni?” cheryl breathes, the word barely audible from how badly she’s trembling as she reaches with her other hand to brush away the hairs sticking to toni’s forehead. 

 

“toni, can you hear me? it’s cheryl…it’s your cheryl, i’m right here and i’m n-not going anywhere, babe, i’m right here…” tears fall before she can stop them, but it doesn’t stop her from leaning forward to press a kiss to toni’s brow, a shaky sigh of relief escaping her when she feels the skin beneath her lips is warm. 

 

_it’s just her hands…just her hands that are cold, she’s not dead, she’s **alive…**_

 

god, how long does cheryl need to see the proof right in front of her? yes, she was looking a little worse for wear, but that heart rate monitor motion was beeping, and toni's body is warm depsite the fact her hands are not...she's alive, very much so...

 

“toni…i love you so much. whenever you’re r-ready to wake up, i’m gonna be here…but don’t m-make me w-wait too long, okay?” she whispers against her skin, smiling as best as she can before she’s pressing small, fluttering kisses to her brow once more, making her way down until she's kissing the corner of toni's mouth.

 

the doctor said she'd probably wake up well into the morning...

 

cheryl should probably go outside and tell the others they can come in, but she can't bring it in her to leave...she just can't.

 

she pulls out her phone and sends a quick message to sweet pea.

 

 **you [05:59]**  
_see if you can sneak past everyone. she's in the icu, room two seventeen. i'm sorry but i can't bring it in me to leave her..._

 

cheryl lets out a shuddering breath. part of her feels guilty for keeping toni’s brothers away from her but god...she just can’t leave her...she prays sweet pea understands and sure enough, sweet pea's reply comes through just a moment later.

 

**peapod [06:00]**  
_don't worry, red. we'll come see tiny in a little bit, you just have your time with her, however long it takes._

 

god, she really, really, _really_ loves those boys...

 

she sniffs and wipes her tears away before grabbing a chair in the corner of the room and dragging it until it’s resting right beside toni’s bed. she collapses down into it and immediately reaches for toni's hand once more, a heavy sigh escaping her before she presses a kiss to the back of it gently, content to stay in this chair every single second of every minute of every single hour until toni decided to wake up.

 

_she made it…she’s alive, she made it, cheryl…_

 

“i love you, i’m right here…i’m right here…”

 

cheryl rests her chin on the railing of the hospital bed, her eyes never leaving toni for a moment as she simply…watches her. watches how her chest falls up and down with each breath, hears the beeping of the heart rate monitor to indicate that she’s alive, she’s okay, her heart is still beating…

 

cheryl doesn't know how it happens, but it seems inescapable now that she's here with toni by her side, hand in hand with the girl she loves and the knowledge that she was going to be okay...

 

her head falls forward to rest on top of hers and toni's intertwined hands, her eyes slowly drifting shut as she fades into a restless sleep, because even though she knows whatever lies ahead of them won't easy...

 

at least they have this moment now.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come on y'all, did you really think i was gonna kill toni off? 
> 
> killing a poc lgbt character?! in THIS economy?! sorry CW, can't relate.


	8. you broke your promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is a little shorter than most of my other chapters, but thats because it's mostly centered on toni waking up, so i promise the other chapters will be longer! hope you guys like this one! please leave comments letting me know what you think!

_“sorry, smurfette. it’s business, not personal.”_

 

_strong arms wrapping around her chest before the most excruciating pain slices through her side, once, twice-_

 

_she gasps, the arm around her chest tightening as sadistic laughter echoes in her ear…_

 

_she can feel the blood staining her shirt, the warmth from it sticking to her skin as she drops to her hands and knees, eyes blurring with tears and a moan of pain escaping her lips when a boot comes in contact with the wound to kick her down further…_

 

_everything’s beginning to fade into echoes already, the ground beneath her blurring with tears as the corner of her eyes begin to darken, and it shouldn’t be happening this fucking quickly but it is, it is…_

 

_her arms can’t carry her any further. she collapses onto her side, trying her best to take deep breaths in, but everything just **hurts** too much…_

 

_jughead…she can hear him screaming her name, but all she can think about…_

 

_she’s dying. she’s bleeding out and she’s dying and cheryl has no idea._

 

_god, what has she done?_

 

a soft beeping sound.

 

it echoes out around her, getting louder with each passing second as toni topaz slowly begins to gain each of her senses back.

 

her tongue feels heavy in her mouth, her throat dry and aching. her body feels like it weighs at least eight tons, and whatever she’s resting on is stiff and uncomfortable, but the pillow beneath her head is nice at least. 

 

she’s felt this before. when fangs was twelve, he broke his collarbone skateboarding, and toni remembers jumping around on the hospital bed he was supposed to be lying in with a grin, mimicking fangs’s groans of pain while sweet pea roared with laughter at the way fangs’s face turned beet red with embarrassment. 

 

she’s in the hospital. fuck, no wonder she feels like shit…

 

she registers a deep throbbing pain in her hand and her inner elbow before the real pain is felt in her back just off to the right hand side. it’s more than a dull throbbing, it’s like each breath in she takes is ripping her apart from that area, and toni purses her lips and slowly begins to blink open her eyes.

 

she sees fluorescent lights above her, the brightness of them making her shut her eyes once again with a soft groan, and she finds herself panting for breath as she licks her lips and opens them once more to look around the place.

 

she’s in a room, a hospital room, that much is clear…white walls, the beeping sound of a heart monitor which she can only guess is attached to her, which means those dreams or whatever weren’t dreams at all, they were memories…

 

fucking penny peabody, of all people-

 

a heavy weight on her left hand.

 

toni frowns and slowly turns her head, that movement alone causing more pain to rip up her right side, but when her eyes land on a head of red hair, all her pain is forgotten, washed away in the blink of an eye and replaced with nothing but affection.

 

_cheryl…_

 

her light, her love, the goddamn reason she wakes up every morning and the only thing she could fucking think about even in her dying moments…

 

toni’s smiling before she can stop herself, lips curling up lazily at the sight of just the back of cheryl’s head. she’s sitting on a chair right next to her bed, her head resting on top of their intertwined hands, and toni knows she’s sleeping, can see her breathing evenly as her back moves up and down slowly…part of her doesn’t want to wake her up, but god, she needs to _see her right now,_ hear that voice she loves so much, touch that body she adores…

 

she’s also bent over the bed at a weird angle, it must be uncomfortable for her to be sleeping like this…

 

“cher?” toni’s voice doesn’t even go higher than a whisper, and she frowns and licks her lips before she twitches her hand in cheryl’s hold. her girlfriend hums lightly and stirs but doesn’t wake up, and toni bites down on her lower lip and takes a deep breath in, knowing that what she’s about to do is going to hurt like a fucking bitch, but it doesn’t matter.

 

she lifts her right hand a centimeter off the bed and can’t help the whimper that escapes her when that ripping sensation floods her body, but she slowly inches her hand over closer and closer, wincing at the needles stuck in it until she’s finally combing her fingers through cheryl’s soft hair.

 

she’s done this multiple times before, but right now…god, right now, toni’s never treasured the feeling of running her fingers through cheryl’s bright red locks more…

 

_who cares about anything other than this right now…you made it, kid. you pulled through and she’s here, she’s right here by your side…_

 

she’s alive. either that, or she did something good in her life, because despite the pain she’s in, this must be fucking heaven…

 

toni scratches at her scalp lightly, and cheryl groans before she finally begins to stir, toni wincing when she hears the sound of her joints popping from stiffness. as soon as she turns around and toni sees that frown of sleepy confusion on her face, tears begin to fall from her eyes, and not from the pain in her side as her right hand drops back down to its former position.

 

_god, she’s worth living for…she’s worth every single ounce of pain i’m in right now…i’m never leaving her side ever again, how could i have done something so stupid…_

 

cheryl’s eyes move up to toni’s face, and she blinks once before they widen, realization dawning on her slowly that toni’s awake.

 

and the look in her eyes…it’s relief and sadness and anguish and happiness and a million different other things, some that toni never wants to see again and others that she never wants to _stop seeing…_

 

“toni?” cheryl croaks out, her grip in toni’s hand tightening almost painfully. toni’s bottom lip trembles and she catches it between her teeth before she nods, and cheryl immediately jumps up from her chair, the sound of it scraping the linoleum floor loud as she leans in closer. her hands reach out slowly before she’s cradling toni’s face in her hands, staring at her as if she can’t quite believe she’s real before her face screws up in anguish and she’s choking on a sob. 

 

 _no…no, she’s crying because of me, how could i do this to her?_

 

“oh god, toni…a-are you okay? let me get the d-doctor-.” cheryl goes to move, but toni’s hands fly up to grip her wrists to keep her right where she is, a soft cry of pain escaping her at the action and more tears falling down her face as her whole body throbs, but she doesn’t care.

 

she just wants to _stare_ at her a little longer…

 

“s-stay…” toni breathes, ignoring the way the beeping from the heart rate monitor increases, and cheryl looks at her in shock before her expression softens, the look in her eyes astounding toni into limited vocabulary.

 

because even though her eyes are swollen and bloodshot, even though there isn’t an ounce of makeup on her face, even though she’s wearing nothing but a nightgown and a coat…toni finds herself still reeling over just _how_ she managed to get a girl so goddamn beautiful to love her.

 

_you don’t deserve her…look what you’ve done to her, toni, she’s in her nightgown which means she probably got the call in the middle of the night, and yet she still came running…you don’t deserve her…_

 

cheryl purses her lips and sniffs as tears fall down her cheeks as well, and toni can see how tired she is, she looks absolutely _exhausted…_

 

“toni, you’re in pain, i-.”

 

“cher…please…” toni whispers, looking up into those chocolate brown eyes she loves so much, filled with so much trauma and grief that toni’s only fucking added to now, and cheryl whimpers before she’s leaning down and crashing her lips against toni’s urgently, the pink haired girl groaning before she returns the kiss as passionately as she can despite how weak she feels in an attempt to apologize for everything she’s done.

 

she’s _alive._ she feels like fucking death, but she’s alive, she doesn’t have to worry about saying goodbye, doesn’t have to worry about never kissing the lips currently captured between her own ever again, or feeling soft alabaster skin beneath her fingertips, or hearing cheryl gasp out her name in a breathy moan or look at her with those soft brown eyes filled with nothing but adoration and affection as she told toni she _loves_ her…

 

after what feels like a lifetime, toni basking in each fucking second that cheryl’s lips move against hers so pliantly but so passionately, cheryl finally pulls away with a breathless gasp, toni wincing despite herself at the pain still flooding her body. cheryl looks down at her with a soft hiccup before she’s smiling, and toni’s heart seizes at the sight of it.

 

“hi.” cheryl whispers. toni’s eyes flutter closed before they open lazily as she smiles and nuzzles her nose against cheryl’s affectionately.

 

“mmm…hi.” she whispers back. cheryl sniffles before she’s pressing another soft kiss to her lips, but toni knows cheryl like the back of her fucking hand, and the pain in her eyes is still there on full display for toni to watch.

 

cheryl’s in pain and it’s all her fault. she’s lost her brother, her father, her mother, god, her entire fucking family, and toni almost made her go through the pain of losing _her_ as well…what the fuck was she thinking?

 

she doesn’t regret going back to save jughead, he was her friend and he was like family to her despite the fact that he fucked up big time here, but why, oh why, didn’t she just grab him and drag him back to her bike instead of taking the time to punch that ghoulie in the face? it gave penny peabody enough fucking time to sneak up behind her and stab her twice, and now…

 

god, now…

 

“toni, are you okay?” cheryl asks hoarsely, pulling her out of her thoughts. toni hums softly and simply nods, knowing she’s lying, but just like she knows cheryl like the back of her hand, cheryl can read her like a fucking open book.

 

“you’re in pain, t.t. let me call the doctor.” she says with a sigh. toni can’t help the soft whine that escapes her as she grips cheryl’s elbows in an attempt to pull her back down to her lips, because even though she can barely feel anything but pain right now, she doesn’t want this girl leaving her sight for a single second.

 

“cher, i just want you.” she croaks out. tears fall from the corners of her eyes before she can stop them as she licks her lips and looks up to see cheryl smiling. her girlfriend brushes toni’s hair back from her face gently before she leans in and presses those full, plump lips to her brow in a loving kiss. 

 

“you have me, t.t. forever and always, you know that. but you’re in pain and the doctor needs to see you. he told me to call him in when you woke up. i’m not going anywhere, look, there’s a button right here…” cheryl pulls away from toni and suddenly extends her hand to behind toni’s bed, and toni hears a strange beeping sound before cheryl’s face comes back into view. 

 

“see? i didn’t go anywhere.” she murmurs, her thumb brushing the apple of toni’s cheekbone. toni purses her lips, but says nothing, just reaches a hand up with a hiss of pain to brush her fingertips over cheryl’s jawline, then up to her lips, her nose, her brows, her cheekbones…

 

“cher…i’m so sorry…i’m so sorry i p-put you through this…” toni takes a shuddering breath in, her eyes closing at the pain before cheryl’s pressing a finger to her lips.

 

“shh…we can talk about this later, toni, right now i just want to cherish the fact that you’re alive and that i haven’t lost you…please…” cheryl says hoarsely. toni licks her lips and closes her eyes with a small nod, and cheryl kisses her forehead once more as the door opens loudly, causing the both of them to look toward it in surprise. 

 

“ah, miss topaz! my name is doctor connors, i was the head surgeon during your time in the theatre! it’s good to see you’re awake, you’ve still got a horde of visitors in the waiting room anxious to see you!” a man in green scrubs says with a wide smile. cheryl gasps before she claps a hand over her mouth, eyes wide in shock.

 

“oh god, the others! i completely forgot, i just fell asleep-.”

 

“it’s okay, cher. just text sweet pea and let him know i’m awake.” toni says hoarsely. cheryl’s about to pull her phone out when doctor connors chuckles and grips her shoulder.

 

“perhaps wait until i’m done talking with miss topaz.” he says with a smile. she bites her lip, but nods and simply looks down at toni with a smile as the doctor grabs her chart and begins looking through it.

 

“alright! miss antoinette topaz, sixteen years of age, came in with stab wounds causing severe lacerations to the right kidney…how are you feeling, antoinette?” he says, looking up at her with a frown. toni swallows thickly and tries her best to smile.

 

“toni. and i’m okay…” she manages to croak out. doctor connors chuckles before he moves closer to her with a raised eyebrow.

 

“your attempts to look incredibly brave and strong in front of your girlfriend are admirable, toni, but i need you to be honest with me. are you in a lot of pain?” he asks firmly. toni hesitates and bites down on her lower lip before she lets out a small sigh and nods.

 

“yeah…”

 

“on a scale of one to ten, one being barely noticeable and ten being unbearable, where do you feel you’re at?” he asks, standing up and looking at her iv drip with an even deeper frown taking over his features. 

 

“about an eight or nine. every move i make hurts.” toni says shakily, and doctor connors’s eyes move down to the roller clamp before they widen.

 

“oh, well no wonder! you’ve barely been getting anything from this!” he says in shock, and as soon as he slides the roller clamp, toni watches as the liquid from the drip chamber begins to increase with drops, watches it slide down the tubing before her hand suddenly feels ice cold-

 

the effect is almost immediate, the pain in her side decreasing slowly as she lets out a soft groan of relief and sinks back against her pillows. 

 

“why wasn’t she getting anything from it?” cheryl demands, looking at doctor connors in anger, and he looks equally nonplussed as he shakes his head. 

 

“i’m…i’m not sure. are you okay, toni?” he asks softly, reaching out to grip her shoulder. she looks up at him with a lazy smile and a nod.

 

“yeah…it’s okay, i’m tougher than i look.” she says with a chuckle, but cheryl crosses her arms over her chest with a huff beside her.

 

“you just got out of surgery, t.t, there’s a difference between being tough and being put through unnecessary pain.” she hisses. doctor connors sighs before he looks at toni apologetically.

 

“i am sorry, perhaps it was one of the student nurses who attended your iv bag…as i was saying, however, you suffered two stab wounds to your right kidney, toni. they were quite severe, and by the time you reached the hospital, you had lost quite a significant amount of blood. we managed to repair the damage to your kidney, but you’re looking at a bit of a tough road ahead of you. we’re going to need to do monthly checkups on you for the time being to make sure that kidney doesn’t start failing on you, and there’s at least a twenty five percent chance you’ll need a transplant when you’re older. these aren’t things we truly need to worry about until much, much later in your life, but still…remain cautious. we need to keep you healthier than ever now to accommodate for the trauma you’ve suffered.” he says, clear and concise so that toni understands what he’s saying.

 

which is essentially that she’s even more damaged goods than she was before. 

 

_fucking penny peabody…_

 

she nods to let him know she understands, and doctor connors smiles before he sighs.

 

“the police are also here to get your statement. i believe they’ve already spoken to the young man who brought you in, i’ll inform them that you’ve woken up, they’ll likely be here within the next half hour.” toni frowns at that, but simply nods again.

 

if the police and the ghoulies were under hiram’s thumb, it was highly unlikely penny was gonna actually face any charges, so what was the point? besides, both the serpents and the ghoulies avoided pointing fingers at anyone when the police came sniffing in case it ignited a gang war…toni doesn’t exactly know if those rules still apply now that the ghoulies have pretty much fucking dominated them, but she’s still about seventy percent sure that jughead would’ve told the police exactly nothing. 

 

part of her wants to tell the police that it was penny who did this to her regardless, but it’ll probably end up causing more problems than solutions, especially with sheriff minetta in hiram lodge’s back pocket. if that man orchestrated this whole thing, he probably ordered penny to kill them both, anyway. she’s more likely to get imprisoned for failing than actually attempting to kill toni. 

 

_what a fucked up situation…_

 

toni brushes it all aside and instead focuses on the feeling of cheryl’s hand in her own. the red haired girl gives her fingers a squeeze, and toni looks up at her with a small smile as doctor connors chuckles and gives her a wink.

 

“i’ll come by to check up on you in a few hours. a nurse will bring in breakfast soon.” 

 

“how long do i have to stay here for?” toni asks, looking up at him with a sigh. 

 

“we’ll need to keep you in here for at least a few days for observation, but if everything runs smoothly, you should be out of here by sometime next week. we’ll give you a medical certificate to explain your absence from school upon your departure, okay? if you need anything, ring the bell.” he says with a smile before he’s placing toni’s chart back on the foot of her bed and making his way to the door. toni mutters out a thanks as he leaves.

 

it’s quiet for a few moments as the door swings shut behind him before cheryl sighs and leans in close to toni once more, brushing her hair back from her forehead with tears in her eyes.

 

“i can’t believe i didn’t realize that stupid thing wasn’t working-.”

 

“cher, you’re not a doctor, how could you have known? it’s okay, it’s working now and i already feel _a lot_ better.” toni says, feeling somewhat spaced out as the morphine slowly trickles into her veins. her back doesn’t feel like it’s on fire anymore, and she can move at least a little more freely than before without any pain. 

 

cheryl purses her lips before she leans in and presses them to toni’s brow once again, her eyes closing as she inhales deeply. toni finds herself closing her eyes as well, her fingers reaching up to grip cheryl’s coat and pull her closer before the red head sighs against her skin and pulls away.

 

“i should text sweet pea now…” toni frowns, but nods in agreement and watches as cheryl quickly unlocks her phone, fingers tapping against the screen noisily before she locks it once again and looks up at toni with a smile.

 

“are you sure you’re feeling better now, t.t?” she asks softly. toni hums and nods once with a smile.

 

“yeah…you’re here, that’s all i need.” cheryl’s smile only widens before her eyes are roaming over toni’s face adoringly.

 

“you’re sweet, t.t…” she whispers. toni smiles back before she’s frowning, worry gripping her now for a different reason.

 

jughead…

 

“cher, is…is jughead okay? was he stabbed too, is he alright?” toni asks hoarsely. cheryl’s expression immediately turns ice cold, stony and filled with rage as she steps back with a huff and gives her a curt nod.

 

“he’s fine, toni.” she deadpans. 

 

well…she can’t exactly blame cheryl for being pissed off with him…toni is too, but she still cares about him…

 

“cher, i know you’re mad at him, i am too, but-.” the door suddenly bursts open, forcing her to stop as sweet pea, fangs, veronica, josie and archie all walk through, sweet pea and fangs immediately rushing to her side with wide eyes filled with tears.

 

“tiny! fuck, thank god you’re okay…” fangs whispers, a smile lighting up his beautiful face as he leans down and presses a kiss to her forehead. toni hums softly with a smile at his touch before she reaches up to grip his hand, her other reaching for sweet pea.

 

“i’m okay, guys. a little sore, but…alive. i’m sorry for scaring all of you…” she croaks out, looking up at archie, veronica and josie, who all give her a soft smile before josie wraps an arm around cheryl and rests her head on her shoulder.

 

“don’t be sorry, girl, we’re just glad you’re okay.” she says softly, giving cheryl’s shoulders a squeeze. cheryl swallows thickly, and toni frowns before archie suddenly clears his throat.

 

“jughead, f.p and betty are outside, i’ll go let them know you’re awake…” he mutters. there’s a deep sadness in his eyes before cheryl suddenly looks up at him with a scoff.

 

“tell jughead if he shows his face in here-.”

 

“cheryl…” toni interrupts with a sigh, and her girlfriend looks at her incredulously before she’s crossing her arms over her chest, her expression beyond livid.

 

“toni, he’s the reason you’re in here, he’s the reason you were stabbed!” she barks. josie’s arm around her tightens as toni sighs and nods.

 

“i know, but i went with him voluntarily, cher…he couldn’t have seen the ghoulies ambushing us, and if it wasn’t for him, i would’ve bled out on the side of the road. i’m not saying i’m not angry at him for all of this, but at the end of the day, i made the choice to go with him, even if part of really didn’t want to.” toni murmurs, looking up at archie, who clenches his jaw before he shakes his head.

 

“i told him not to do anything-.”

 

“he loves you, archie. we all do…he saw an opportunity to save your life and he took it. if he had gone alone, we would’ve lost our serpent king, and you would’ve lost your best friend-.”

 

“so what, you think your life means nothing compared to his?” cheryl hisses. toni’s eyes widen in shock before she shakes her head furiously, her heart rate monitor beginning to beep a little more quickly now.

 

“no, that’s not what-.”

 

“i almost lost you, toni! does that count for nothing?!” cheryl growls, ignoring josie as she rubs her hand up and down her arm soothingly with a frown and a wince.

 

“look, everyone needs to take a second to just calm down, okay? toni just got out of surgery, we shouldn’t be doing or _saying_ anything to upset her.” veronica says firmly, looking at cheryl before her eyes move to sweet pea and fangs, who look equally annoyed, but at cheryl, or jughead, toni’s not sure.

 

cheryl closes her eyes and takes a deep breath in through her nose before she exhales shakily, and josie rubs her back before she looks down at toni apologetically. 

 

toni’s heart rate monitor is still beeping wildly, and she swallows the lump in her throat and blinks back her tears as she looks up at archie.

 

“go, arch…” she whispers. he sighs before giving her a firm nod and a smile, and he presses a kiss to veronica’s cheek before he makes his way out of the room. 

 

she doesn’t even know why she’s trying to defend what jughead did, but she doesn’t want this to ruin friendships or relationships between people…yes, what jughead did was stupid, but toni saw truth in what he said. archie had saved cheryl’s life last year, and toni wasn’t about to let him go to jail for a crime he didn’t commit…

 

she still shouldn’t have gone, though. she should’ve worked harder to try and talk jughead down, to try and make him see reason, that doing this wasn’t going to help archie at all, and at the end of the day, it didn’t…all it did was put her in a hospital bed, and now cheryl, sweet pea and fangs were mad at jughead and probably her, too…

 

she fucked up. they both did.

 

“how are you feeling, tiny?” sweet pea says gruffly, breaking the moment of silence that’s cutting through the air thickly with tension.

 

“like i got hit by a train. but i’m gonna be fine, i promise. i’m just looking forward to putting this all behind us.” toni says intentionally, looking up at cheryl, who purses her lips, but says nothing.

 

that alone tells toni she’s gonna get an earful once the novelty of her being alive and safe wears off…

 

_well, you fucking deserve it._

 

toni sighs and reaches out for cheryl’s hand, and the red haired girl clenches her jaw and looks at toni with a pained expression.

 

_she’s mad at you, she has every right to be, you almost died, you selfish bitch, did you even think for a **second** what would happen to her if you left?_

 

of course she did, fuck, she was _dying_ and all she could think about was cheryl…all she could think about was how cheryl was going to deal with all of this…

 

_you still did it, didn’t you? don’t you think cheryl’s had enough of selfish people being in her life?_

 

“cher…baby, i’m sorry…” toni whimpers, and all the anger suddenly fades from cheryl’s face as she breaks free of josie’s hold and takes toni’s hand before bending down slightly to press a kiss to the back of it.

 

“i know, t.t, shh…ronnie’s right, you just got out of surgery, you need to stay relaxed and calm, okay? i’m right here and i’m not going anywhere.” cheryl says soothingly, her fingers reaching up to brush through toni’s hair gently. 

 

sweet pea sighs loudly, running his fingers through his hair as fangs grips her other hand tightly, and veronica reaches out and brushes her arm up and down toni’s leg beneath the blanket with a reassuring smile while josie looks at sweet pea with a frown of concern. she makes her way over to him, a hand reaching out to rub up and down his arm, and he smiles at her softly before taking her hand in his own.

 

sweet pea…toni had an argument with him about josie before she left with jughead, what if she died and she never even told him how much she loves him…

 

“pea…i’m sorry. about what i said at pop’s…” she whispers. sweet pea turns to look at her before he’s shaking his head and smiling.

 

“hey, don’t worry about it, tiny. i know you were coming from good place, okay? don’t stress, i’m just…fuck, i’m so happy you’re okay. we can’t lose you, toni. you mean so much to all of us, i hope you know that.” fangs clenches his jaw as veronica and josie nod in agreement, and cheryl lets out a shaky breath before she leans down to press a kiss to the corner of toni’s mouth.

 

“you’re loved, t.t. that’s all that matters…you made it through and we were all here waiting for you because we love you…we love you so much.” cheryl whispers. toni closes her eyes and nods, her forehead pressing against cheryl’s before the door opens and everyone’s attention turns to it.

 

archie walks back through, looking exhausted, and right behind him is f.p jones and his son, betty cooper trailing in behind them not long after.

 

toni immediately looks up at cheryl, who sighs, that anger in her eyes returning, but she doesn’t say anything, which toni takes as a good sign. sweet pea scoffs, and fangs glares up at jughead, but toni’s eyes land on the serpent king and she feels nothing but heartbreak.

 

he looks…distraught. there’s cuts and bruises all over his face, a bandage clearly covering a large wound on his forehead, but his eyes are bloodshot red and puffy as if he’s been crying. his eyes land on toni, who does her best to smile at him, but she ends up wincing from the pain that’s still somewhat dully throbbing in her side, and jughead’s eyes immediately lower to the ground, his whole body shaking with guilt.

 

“hey, kid. how are you feeling?” f.p says softly, giving her a tired smile as he steps away from betty and jughead and moves closer to her. toni simply nods once and gives him a thumbs up.

 

“pushing through. i’m gonna be fine, i’ll be out of here in no time.” she reassures, her eyes on jughead, who is still looking down at the ground and refusing to meet her eyes again.

 

“we’re glad you’re okay, toni.” betty says hoarsely. toni looks at her to see she equally looks distraught, guilt shining in her red eyes as she looks at cheryl, who’s refusing to look at any of them, her eyes on toni and toni only. 

 

_dude…damage control. this is gonna implode soon if you don’t say something…_

 

“look, i know there’s a lot of tension in the air right now, so i’m gonna set the record straight. jughead and i know we fucked up, we screwed up big time here and it almost cost me my life. everyone makes mistakes, it’s what makes us human. we thought we were helping a friend, but we should’ve listened to archie when he said he didn’t want us getting involved. we’ve learned from it, and luckily, we’re all alive to do so. let’s just…please, be peaceful around each other? at least for now…” toni begs, her gaze moving to each of them before she lands on cheryl, who once again, exhales deeply through her nose before she smiles and grips toni’s hand in her own.

 

“of course, t.t. whatever you need to help you heal as quickly and as efficiently as possible.” she murmurs. toni smiles at her before she looks to betty and jughead, who both nod once, to archie and veronica, who also smile and nod at her, to josie, sweet pea and fangs, who glare at jughead and simply give her a stern nod, then finally to f.p, who runs his fingers through his hair and lets out a sigh of relief.

 

“well, then…i guess that’s probably the best thing we can do, huh? come on, we should leave her alone, this room is getting crowded and i called your grandfather to let him know what’s happened. he’s on his way now, kid. he’ll want to see you…you kids should go home and get some rest, it’s uh…it’s been a long night for all of us.” he says, looking around at everyone with a smile. 

 

they all solemnly agree, and part of toni doesn’t want them to leave, but the more dominant part of her wants to just be alone with cheryl, so she doesn’t argue when fangs leans down and presses another kiss to her forehead before murmuring his goodbye. sweet pea steps forward and grips her hand, pressing a kiss to her palm before josie gives her a small smile and a wave before she blows a kiss to cheryl.

 

“i’m a text message away, alright?” she tells cheryl softly. the red haired girl smiles and nods, and josie returns it before she leaves hand in hand with sweet pea, toni unable to keep the smile off her face at the sight before betty and jughead both look up at her. jughead looks like he’s on the verge of saying something, but toni sighs and shakes her head.

 

“later.” she mouths to him. he clenches his jaw, but nods once before he grips betty’s hand and exits the room, f.p following behind them with a smile and a wave.

 

archie sighs and steps forward to take toni’s hand in his own before he looks down at her sadly.

 

“toni, you didn’t need to do that for me-.”

 

“i did. you saved cheryl’s life, and if it wasn’t for you…i never would’ve met her and she’s…she’s my soulmate, archie. you saved my soulmate, so of course i was willing to do anything to make sure you didn’t get thrown into jail for something you didn’t do. i’m just sorry we didn’t actually find anything that could save you.” toni swallows the lump in her throat as archie blinks back tears and shakes his head.

 

“nothing is worth you putting your life in danger, toni. do you understand? not even me…” he says hoarsely. toni bites down on her bottom lip to stop herself from crying, because fuck, this boy is so fucking selfless and yet he was on trial for murder, it just wasn’t fair-

 

“come on, archiekins, we should leave her to get some rest.” veronica says softly, tugging on his arm to pull him away, and archie hesitates before he sighs and pulls back, gripping veronica’s hand in his own tightly before he looks to cheryl.

 

“if you need anything, we’re a phone call away.” she smiles and nods once, and he grips her shoulder, giving it a squeeze before veronica leads him out of the door, but not before she turns back to wrap her arms around cheryl tightly. she whispers something in cheryl’s ear that toni doesn’t hear, but she sees her girlfriend sigh before she nods once and pulls away. veronica leans down and presses a kiss to toni’s hair, much to her surprise, before she takes archie’s outstretched hand, the both of them leaving without another word. 

 

it’s silent in the room for a few moments before cheryl sighs and goes to grab her chair to sit back down, but toni whines and reaches out for her with a shake of her head.

 

“come here.” she croaks out, holding her arms open. cheryl’s eyes widen before she shakes her head.

 

“toni, no, you’re-.”

 

“doped out on morphine, i can’t feel a thing. i just want my girlfriend in my arms, so come here.” toni reiterates firmly. cheryl sighs as toni adjusts herself slowly with a wince to give cheryl enough room to lay down beside her. she hesitates before she rolls her eyes and grips the lever on the side to push the railing down. toni grins triumphantly as cheryl clambers onto the bed as slowly and gently as possible.

 

“if it hurts-.”

 

“i’ll tell you, i promise. come here.” toni repeats again, and cheryl chuckles before she settles herself slowly into toni’s arms, still hesitant, and toni lets out a sigh of frustration.

 

“you’re taking too long.”

 

“toni-.” cheryl grunts in surprise as toni wraps her arms around her and pulls her down to her chest, cheryl’s ear resting right over her heart before she gingerly wraps her left arm around toni’s midsection.

 

“does it hurt?” cheryl whispers. toni simply shakes her head before humming in content, resting her chin on top of cheryl’s head with a smile.

 

“nothing hurts when you’re right where you are now.” she mumbles. cheryl sighs and moves her head to press a kiss to toni’s collarbone before she moves back to her previous position, toni’s fingers running through her hair gently while the other hand rubs circles into her back.

 

“you really scared me, t.t…i don’t think you understand how much i need you in my life.” cheryl whispers, her voice shaking as toni feels the hospital gown she’s wearing suddenly become wet around her chest.

 

she’s crying…

 

“i know…i understand, cheryl, i promise i do. and i promise i’ll never, ever do anything like that again.” she whispers back. cheryl lets out another shaky breath, and it’s silent between them for just a few moments before she speaks again.

 

“why didn’t you tell me, toni? i could’ve come with you-.”

 

“and have you in the hospital bed beside me with stab wounds, too?” toni grumbles, the thought itself making tears immediately well in her eyes before they fall sideways into her hair. cheryl sighs and looks up at her, pushing herself up to look her in the eyes with both hands resting either side of toni’s body. 

 

“you promised me we’d do serpent missions _together_ , toni. no matter what. ‘whatever comes next, we do it together’, remember? you broke your promise.” cheryl’s voice sounds so broken, and toni’s trying so hard not to cry right now, but she can hear her heart rate monitor beginning to beep wildly again.

 

she fucked up, she knows she did, and she fucking hates herself for it, but she wasn’t going to put cheryl in danger…

 

“i know, cher, but i also remember ‘i’m not going down, not if it brings you down with me’. that goes both ways.” toni manages to croak out. cheryl lets out a sigh of frustration and shakes her head.

 

“you fell, toni. you fell before i even knew you did, you didn’t give me a chance to catch you! you can’t do that to me, don’t you understand? you _lied_ to me, i thought you were safe at your grandfather’s and then i get the call from sweet pea telling me you’ve been stabbed, can you even begin to understand how much that _killed me?_ for me to fall asleep thinking my girlfriend was just spending time with her grandfather when in reality, she was putting her life in danger? i spent four hours drowning, feeling like i couldn’t _breathe_ , so don’t give me that bullshit about ‘not going down’, because you did, and you brought me down with you!” cheryl’s sobbing now, her words barely coherent, and toni doesn’t want to look at the heartbreak in her eyes anymore, she can’t take it-

 

“i’m sorry! i’m so sorry, cher-.”

 

“i know you are, toni, but it doesn’t change what you did! you broke your promise and you lied to me, two things i never even thought you were capable of doing! i just…” cheryl trails off, thick tears streaming down her face, and fuck, toni can’t even look at her…

 

she did this to her…

 

“i can’t lose you, toni. i need you to understand those words how i mean them…i _can’t_ lose you.” cheryl grips her face suddenly, forcing toni to look at her, and toni can’t help how her bottom lip trembles as tears fall down her own face.

 

“i can’t lose you, too.” she whispers. cheryl whines before she grips toni’s face harder.

 

“that’s the difference, toni. i _know_ that, which is exactly why i would never do anything to put my life in danger so that doesn’t become a reality.”

 

fuck.

 

fuck, she really, really fucked up-

 

cheryl was gonna break up with her, she was, it was over, why would cheryl stay with someone who hurt her like this?

 

these fucking drugs are screwing with her, cheryl wasn't going to do that, she wasn't-

 

_oh yeah? she should, you fucking idiot, look at what you've done to her, you've put her through so much pain and for what? you didn't even save archie, you're useless, toni-_

 

“i…i didn’t…i wasn’t thinking, i…fuck, i’m _sorry_ cheryl, and i know no amount of groveling or apologizing can ever make up for it, but i am, i’m s-so fucking s-sorry-.” toni chokes out, and cheryl’s eyes widen before she suddenly presses a kiss to her lips and shakes her head against her.

 

“no, it’s okay, i’m sorry, i shouldn’t be saying all of this, you just got out of surgery-.”

 

“no, i want you to yell at me, to get mad and tell me how you feel because i deserve it, cher…i should’ve never gone with him, i should’ve stayed home with you, i just…i wanted to help archie so much-.” toni breaks down, her heart monitor going wild as she cries loudly, and cheryl whimpers as she presses gentle kisses all over toni’s face in an effort to calm her down.

 

“shh…shh, it’s okay, t.t…shh…please, just relax, i’m here, okay?” 

 

she’s gonna lose her, it’s over, cheryl was gonna leave-

 

_good, she deserves better!_

 

fuck, toni knows that, she does, but she can't lose her, she _needs her..._

 

“cher, don’t…don’t leave m-me, don’t b-break up with me, p-please…” toni blurts out, unable to contain her emotions anymore, and cheryl lets out a soft gasp of shock before she shakes her head furiously, looking at toni incredulously like she's just grown a second head or something.

 

“what? toni, no! i’m not going to break up with you, are you crazy? do you have any idea how in love with you i am?” she says firmly despite the tears still falling down her face, but toni’s barely listening.

 

“I d-don’t d-deserve you, not after everything i’ve d-done-.” cheryl grips her face once again before she’s baring her teeth, a soft growl escaping her.

 

“toni, stop it. stop it right now, i am _**not leaving you,**_ do you hear me? we’re going to get through this like we have every other obstacle that’s been thrown at us. now please, calm down…please, t.t, you’re already sick and you’re going to make yourself worse stressing about something that will _**never**_ happen. i’m not leaving, okay? shh…” 

 

cheryl presses another wet kiss to her lips before she’s suddenly adjusting them until toni is somehow in her arms, cheryl making sure to steer clear of her right side as she wraps her arms around toni’s shoulder and presses a kiss to her brow.

 

“i’m not going anywhere…this is just a hiccup in the road, toni, but we’re going to get through this, i know we are.” she murmurs against her skin.

 

toni swallows, desperately gasping for air as her fingers cling to cheryl’s nightgown, and cheryl’s heart beat is thundering loudly in her ear as she lays the side of her head onto cheryl’s chest. 

 

_she’s not going anywhere…she’s here, toni, she’s here and she’s not gonna leave you, just breathe…_

 

god, she doesn't deserve her. she doesn't deserve someone as good and as pure and as warm as cheryl, not after everything she's just done to this poor girl...

 

_she's here, toni...she loves you, she isn't going anywhere..._

 

toni finds herself suddenly exhausted, the scent of cheryl’s perfume and something else that is so purely the redheaded vixen invading her sense and making her eyelids slowly begin to droop, but not before she utters out the only thing running through her mind.

 

“i love you so much, cheryl…” 

 

and before she finally succumbs to her dreams, she feels cheryl smiling against her skin before her lips brush over the skin of her forehead.

 

“i love you too, toni…”


	9. utterly and unconditionally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is just 9K of the most domestic shit possible, but also angsty af, so...there's that. if there's spelling mistakes, i'm very sorry, i've been dying with the flu for the last few days so i'm a little delirious.
> 
> shit's gonna get wild in the next chapter so i thought i'd give you guys something nice-ish for this one. :P hope you guys enjoy this chapter, also, happy thanksgiving, and if you're working black friday like i am, my fuckin' prayers are with you.
> 
> a lot of you who read this also read my collar fic, if you do, i will try my best to upload another chapter for it today! i can't promise anything, but i will absolutely try my best! If not today, then definitely some time this weekend!
> 
> alright, i'm out! please leave comments letting me know what you guys think!

toni is released from the hospital a week after the incident. 

 

a week, that truly, for cheryl, is one of the most torturous weeks she’s ever been through, to the point where it came to a close second to the week she spent not knowing where jason was only to discover he was dead, murdered by her own father.

 

much to cheryl’s chagrin, another incident with toni’s morphine occurred on day three of her stay at the hospital, cheryl waking up to the sound of toni groaning in pain and begging cheryl to get the doctor because something was wrong. when he had arrived, they had discovered the roller clamp had once again been closed, and cheryl demanded that they change her iv immediately, which they did. it was clearly defective, and if cheryl had to wake up to those sounds of toni in pain one more time, she was going to start ripping heads off.

 

thankfully, there were no more complications, but then began the process of getting toni up and moving. cheryl helped her walk around her hospital room at first, before it eventually led to trying to get her to walk around the hallways of the hospital, and on day five, toni managed to make it the courtyard in the middle of the hospital for some fresh air without any pain. she was making astounding progress, according to doctor connors, and cheryl’s quite sure she’s never been prouder.

 

she’s always known toni was braver than most, but the fact that she was pushing through her recovery so fast made her swell with nothing but pride, but also made her more worried than anything that toni was only pushing herself in an attempt to get out of the hospital as soon as possible.

 

“i hate it here, cher, i just wanna go back home with you.” toni had pouted when cheryl had told her to slow down her pace during one particular walk through the hallways. 

 

toni calling thistlehouse “home” had brought tears to cheryl’s eyes, and she had pressed a kiss to toni’s temple before encouraging her to take another few steps. 

 

cheryl hadn’t left her side for a single second, other than to go to school, but even there she was distracted and eager to get back to her girlfriend’s side as soon as possible. every spare period she had, she’d race back to the hospital, despite toni telling her not to do so, to be by her side. toni, who was bored out of her mind most of the day with nothing to do, had even started helping cheryl with her homework, which amused the red haired girl to no end. she knew her girlfriend better than she knew herself, toni _hated_ homework. 

 

“why sit there with a pen in my hand writing down a bunch of bullshit i’ll probably forget the second i graduate when i could be doing other things with my fingers?” toni had said to her once with a waggle of her eyebrows and a cheeky grin.

 

it’s been a long week, yes, a week spent sleeping on a less than comfortable couch in the corner of toni’s room, a week spent helping toni shower and use the bathroom and walk and eat and do the basic every day normal things she used to be able to do, but as each day had passed, toni had gotten better and better, and the second doctor connors had told them he was happy with toni’s mobility and functionality and that she could go home, toni had let out her loudest cheer yet and begged cheryl to help her change so they could leave as soon as possible.

 

josie had been the biggest lifesaver of the week, not a single complaint escaping the pussycat as she drove cheryl to and from school back to the hospital whenever she wanted, and even now, she’s driving cheryl and toni back to thistlehouse in her van with a smile as she watches the two lovers cuddle up in the backseat. she was driving slowly and avoiding as many potholes as she could while toni happily hummed in the backseat with the window down, her eyes watching the greenery that passes them in a blur with a wide grin etched on her face, her black eye all but gone and cuts on her skin nonexistent.

 

“god, i can’t wait to get back home. that hospital is fucking hell on earth.” toni groans, sinking back into her seat and taking cheryl’s hand in her own.

 

“agreed. i’m just glad you’re on the mend, t.t. and thank you, josie, for everything you’ve done for us this week.” cheryl says, smiling at the girl from the back seat and leaning forward slightly to grip her shoulder. josie chuckles and grips cheryl’s hand before pressing a kiss to the back of it.

 

“of course, cheryl, you know i’d do anything for you two. besides, i’m trying to make a better impression on sweet pea…i kind of confessed my true intentions to him, and even though i told him that wasn’t the case anymore, he was…less than impressed.” josie says with a sigh, her face quickly falling into a frown of concern.

 

“ah, don’t worry about sweets, he’ll come around. he’s more emotional than he lets people see.” toni says with a smile from the backseat.

 

“i definitely know that now. seeing him on that first night, toni…he was almost hysterical. i had to stop him from punching jughead’s face in at least twice.” josie says softly, looking up at the pink haired serpent in the rearview mirror. toni’s expression turns stony at the mention of the serpent king, and she looks out of the window before she responds.

 

“probably should’ve let him.” she grumbles, her eyes falling down to her nails, where she begins chipping off her black nail polish. cheryl reaches out to stop her, knowing this is one of toni’s ticks when she’s anxious or upset, and she takes her hand in her own, clutching it tightly. toni looks up at her apologetically before she sinks her head back against the seat and closes her eyes with a hard swallow.

 

it was no secret that the serpent king was in trouble. despite both toni and jughead telling the police absolutely nothing about what had occurred, cheryl had heard from fangs and sweet pea that f.p and jughead had gotten into a handful of screaming matches in their trailer at the lakeside within the week that toni had been in the hospital, the former serpent king less than impressed with his son putting the life of one of their own in danger. the other serpents weren’t too happy either, toni was loved by all of them, and her getting stabbed by the ghoulies hadn’t sat well with any of them. a majority of them had called for penny peabody’s head, but a few louder serpents had also begun to wonder if jughead was capable of being the serpent king, if their lives were actually _more_ in danger with him as their leader. 

 

cheryl’s inclined to agree with the latter, especially when toni had told cheryl that jughead had convinced her to do this by pretty much holding over her head the fact that archie had saved cheryl’s life.

 

“i get that archie’s his best friend and he loves him, but that was low, even for him.” toni had told her with a scoff when cheryl had asked her for details on what had happened. the more toni told her about what happened that night, the more cheryl realized that this entire thing had been jughead’s fault. he had all but blackmailed toni into going with him, and no matter how much toni tried to convince her that deep down, she probably would’ve gone with him anyway because she cared about jughead and archie, cheryl felt nothing but resentment and anger for the beanie wearing hobo.

 

betty had attempted to get cheryl alone to talk to her at school on several occasions, but cheryl had steered clear of both her cousin and the serpent king, choosing instead to spend her time with sweet pea and fangs, because at least she knew those two boys would never, _ever_ do anything that could put toni’s life in danger. both boys were avoiding jughead as well, refusing to talk to him, and no matter how many times cheryl sees him looking miserable, the core four seated at the lunch table with jughead throwing gloomy glances their way every once in a while, she doesn’t feel an ounce of sympathy for him.

 

she almost lost toni because of him. he should be counting his lucky stars that _cheryl’s_ not ending his life instead.

 

archie, according to veronica, was still fuming over what happened, but was choosing to remain civil with jughead for the sake of their friendship, and the fact that he could be going to jail in the next few weeks and didn’t want to spend it upset and angry at his best friend. cheryl understood, of course, but as far as she was concerned, jughead was dead to her.

 

on multiple occasions this week, she’s considered handing in her serpent jacket, simply because she doesn’t _want_ to be a southside serpent with jughead leading them so abysmally and dangerously. but the thought of toni’s heartbroken face, and the idea of losing the first people she’s ever seen as _family_ has stopped her from doing so. jughead already almost stole toni from her life, she wasn’t about to let him steal her family, too.

 

“alright, here we are.” josie says with a deep exhale, pulling cheryl out of her thoughts as they pull up to the black gates of the blossom estate. cheryl can practically feel the excitement bouncing off her girlfriend beside her, and she chuckles and turns to see her grinning widely.

 

“who would’ve thought someone would be so happy to see the blossom estate gates?” cheryl says with a laugh, pondering on the many days as a kid where pulling up to her home would fill her with nothing but dread. she leans in to press a kiss to toni’s cheek, and toni hums softly at her touch before she squeezes cheryl’s hand in her own.

 

“come off it, cher, you know this place makes me the happiest i’ve ever been. it’s my home with you.” she says with the most astounding smile. cheryl feels her heart almost implode with affection, and even josie lets out an almost mournful sigh as she turns to look at toni with a shake of her head.

 

“you’re lucky i’m straight and you got her on lockdown, cheryl, because if neither of those things were a case, i’d snatch this girl up in a heartbeat.” josie says with a cheeky grin. cheryl slaps her shoulder playfully as toni laughs loudly, wincing only slightly at the pain it causes as josie pulls up to the driveway of thistlehouse.

 

“oh hey, my bike!” toni says with a smile, her eyes on her motorcycle parked in the driveway, and cheryl simply nods once as she slides over to her side of the backseat to exit the van.

 

“sweet pea dropped it off the other day. jughead apparently went back to…where it happened, to pick his bike up with his father. they drove it back to the lakeside and sweet pea and fangs dropped it off here.” cheryl says, clenching her jaw as she exits the van and makes her way around to toni’s side. she opens the door before extending her hand, and toni takes it, slowly easing herself out of the car with a wince as she looks at the bike with a frown.

 

“it’s clean…like polished and shit.” she says in surprise. cheryl chuckles as she grips toni’s hand tighter to help ease the transition from the step of the van to the concrete ground. 

 

“sweet pea and fangs. they checked it for everything and made sure it’s perfectly operational before they cleaned it. nothing but the best for their sister.” cheryl says with an affectionate smile.

 

as much as she hadn’t left toni’s side, sweet pea and fangs hadn’t really, either. they visited every day for at least two hours, only leaving once the visiting hours were over, and cheryl’s never loved those two boys more than she does now. 

 

the four of them had quickly become a tight knit family, and cheryl can’t thank them enough for including her into the fold. toni, sweet pea and fangs had grown up together, but with the way they now acted around cheryl, it was like she had been raised by their side as well. they cared for her as much as they cared for toni, and cheryl’s not ashamed to admit that they had helped heal the hole in her heart that her twin brother’s death had left her. 

 

toni blinks back tears and smiles up at cheryl before she lets out a shaky sigh.

 

“can you call them? let them know i’m out of the hospital?” she asks softly. cheryl brushes her hair back from her face with a gentle smile.

 

“of course, t.t. once we’re inside and you’re settled, i’ll invite them over for a game night.” she promises. toni sniffs before she grips cheryl’s shirt and tugs her down for a loving kiss to her lips.

 

“you’re the most perfect girlfriend i ever could’ve asked for, cher.” she whispers. cheryl brushes her thumb across toni’s bottom lip with a smile.

 

“i love you too, toni.” 

 

granted, cheryl was still less than pleased with toni for breaking her promise. they were supposed to do all their serpent missions _together_ , toni had said it herself, and yet she had gone with jughead on something so incredibly stupid and dangerous, cheryl still can’t help but hold a grudge against her girlfriend for it. toni put her own life in danger, and yes, cheryl’s heard a million times that they didn’t expect the ghoulies to show up, but for them to truly believe that hiram would be stupid enough to leave behind a weapon that could prove his guilt in cassidy bullock’s murder…

 

it was so painfully obvious that it was a set up. cheryl knows jughead’s tendency to be stupid enough to do things that put his life in danger, but for him to drag toni into his little game, and for toni not to see the clear signs of what was happening?

 

cheryl just doesn’t understand it. 

 

she’s kept her mouth shut, however. she refuses to do anything to jeopardize toni’s recovery, and with how hysterical toni had gotten when cheryl had attempted to bring it up, she’s less than keen on continuing their unfinished conversation. she’s not going to break up with toni over something like this, of course not, but it’s clear they need to discuss some very obvious miscommunications in their relationship revolving their affiliation with the serpents. 

 

“alright, if you guys need anything, i’m a phone call away.” josie says, rolling the passenger side window down so she can talk to them from the driver’s seat as cheryl finishes loading up hers and toni’s overnight bags onto her shoulders. 

 

“do you want to join us for a game night tonight, josie? sweet pea and fangs will be coming over, it’ll be nice to have you there.” cheryl says with a smile.

 

“i wish i could, but mom’s got sheriff-i mean, uh… _tom_ and kevin over for dinner tonight. thanks for the invite though, i appreciate it.” josie says with a sigh, and cheryl simply nods once before she gives her best friend her thanks and a promise that she’ll call if she needs anything.

 

as soon as josie takes off, cheryl grips toni’s hand in her own, the both of them making their way to thistlehouse’s front door. 

 

cheryl’s hands are too full with their bags, so she simply knocks on the door instead of fishing through her purse for the keys, and a few moments later, it opens to reveal lisa, whose eyes widen before she grins widely.

 

“you’re back! toni, how are you feeling?” lisa asks, watching with a frown as the southside serpent girl steps over the threshold of the door gingerly.

 

“eh, pulling through. where’s nana rose?” toni asks with a smile.

 

“i just put her down for a nap, she’s…well, she hasn’t been feeling too well the last few days.” lisa says with a frown.

 

cheryl’s heart falls.

 

“what do you mean? should we take her to the hospital for a check-up?” cheryl says immediately, worry gripping her for the only living blossom she cares about, and lisa shakes her head quickly.

 

“no, god, you’ve spent the past week there, cheryl. i don’t think it’s anything serious, but i’ll keep an eye on her, i promise. i think it’s best we just let her sleep it off.” cheryl frowns, but she knows lisa is definitely more capable and _definitely_ more qualified to look after nana rose than she is, so she lets out a shaky breath and nods once before smiling at the caregiver fondly.

 

“thank you, lisa. your help has been nothing short of perfection in this trying time, i appreciate it.” lisa smiles before she reaches out to grip her shoulder.

 

“of course, cheryl. it’s definitely better having you around than penelope, you know i’d do anything to help. now get your girlfriend upstairs and in bed, i can see the sweat drops forming on her forehead.” lisa says with a frown. cheryl turns to toni in surprise to see she is looking a little pale as her arms tremble slightly gripping the handle of the door.

 

“what? no, i’m fine-.”

 

“she’s right, t.t. come on, let’s go.” cheryl takes toni’s hand in her own, the other touching the small of toni’s back as her girlfriend sighs tiredly before she begins making her way to the stairs. cheryl lets her grip the railing for support, and they take each step slowly, but cheryl can see toni struggling the higher up they get, and once they reach the top, she sags against the railing with a heavy pant.

 

“toni, what is it?” cheryl asks urgently, her grip on the pink haired girl tightening. toni winces before she looks up at cheryl with tears in her eyes.

 

“nothing, i…it just hurts-.” she whimpers as she attempts to shuffle forward, and cheryl _hates_ seeing her like this, but she forces herself to push through the anguish.

 

she needs to be toni’s strength right now.

 

she curls her hand around the back of toni’s neck and presses a soft kiss to her brow.

 

“we’re almost at my room, t.t. just a few more steps, okay? once we get you in bed, i’ll give you some of your painkillers.” toni nods against her numbly, and she grips cheryl’s hand in a vicelike hold as they begin taking slow steps toward her bedroom door. 

 

as soon as they enter, cheryl leads toni over to the bed and gently helps her into it. toni whimpers with each movement, and cheryl feels her heart break at the sounds, but she slips toni’s shoes off and helps her settle down on the pillows before she’s dropping the bags on her shoulders and fishing through toni’s one for the painkillers doctor connors prescribed her. as soon as she finds the orange tube, she pulls out the bottle of water with it and shakes two small white pills into the palm of her hand. 

 

“here, babe, open up.” she holds the pills up to toni’s lips, watches with a roll of her eyes as toni sticks her tongue out with a wink before she places them onto the pink surface. toni wiggles her tongue back into her mouth as cheryl suppresses a giggle.

 

“stabbed twice in the kidney, and still, all you can think about is sex.” she says, not for one second playing dumb to toni’s actions. the pink haired girl groans as cheryl hands her the bottle of water, and she takes a swig and swallows the pills down before she replies.

 

“can you blame me? it’s been what, a week and three days now since we had sex?” toni whines, her hands reaching out for cheryl, who quickly slaps them away as she places the bottle on the nightstand.

 

“and it’s only going to be a longer wait. i’m not touching you until there’s no more pain, toni.” cheryl says firmly. she ignores toni’s gasp of shock as she pulls her phone out of the pocket of her jeans and quickly sends a text message to sweet pea.

 

**you [05:34]**  
_hey, toni’s out of the hospital, we’re back home at thistlehouse. bring fangs and we’ll have a game night. we miss our brothers! xx_

 

“cher, baby, be rational. we can totally still have sex-.”

 

“no, we cannot. end of discussion.” cheryl says simply, but she moves over to the other side of the bed and kicks her shoes off before she collapses down beside her girlfriend gently with a heavy sigh. toni reaches for her immediately, making grabby hands that cheryl rolls her eyes at, but before she can do anything, her phone buzzes with a reply from sweet pea.

 

**sweet pea [05:35]**  
_on our way now, red! we’re just at pop’s, do you guys want anything?_

 

“do you want anything from pop’s? sweet pea is asking.” cheryl asks with a smile. toni’s eyes widen as she groans and nods furiously.

 

“yes, fuck yes! cheeseburger, extra fries, a chocolate milkshake and onion rings.” toni says eagerly. cheryl blinks in surprise before she lets out a light laugh and relays hers and toni’s order to sweet pea, promising him cash when he gets to thistlehouse. 

 

“oh my god, cher, i can’t wait for proper food, that hospital stuff was fucking garbage.” toni whines, sinking back against the pillows as cheryl sidles up beside her with caution.

 

“mmm, i know. i’m starving, too. i think i’ve only been surviving on vending machine food for the last week.” cheryl says with a chuckle. toni’s expression soften before she opens her arms, and cheryl hesitates before she sinks down and rests her head on toni’s chest, being very careful to avoid the right side of her body as she does. 

 

“you’ve been so amazing, cheryl…and i know shit is kind of sideways right now, and i know you’re probably still mad at me, but the fact that you’ve done nothing but help me this whole week…you’re fucking perfect, cher. i just need you to know how much i appreciate everything you do for me.” toni croaks out softly. cheryl hides her smile into the crook of toni’s neck before she presses a kiss to her pulse lightly, relishing in how it thrums gently against her lips.

 

“mmm…i’m still not having sex with you, toni.” cheryl teases. toni gasps and lets out a light growl before she slaps her hand down on cheryl’s backside playfully.

 

“not why i’m saying all this, and you know it! god, you’re so cheeky…” she groans, and cheryl laughs before she props herself up slowly, her hand reaching up to cradle toni’s cheek in her palm while the other brushes through her damp, sweat soaked hair.

 

“i know…” she whispers fondly, eyes roaming over toni’s delicate features before she leans down to kiss her soundly.

 

she’s happy that toni’s acknowledging her anger, happy that toni _knows_ there’s still things they definitely need to discuss, but kissing her girlfriend right now, cheryl feels all her anger melt away. she will never, _ever_ get sick of kissing toni topaz…

 

“you know, even when…even when i was bleeding out on the side of the road, all i could think about was you.” toni breathes suddenly, pulling away from cheryl to look into her eyes before she reaches up to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. 

 

cheryl closes her eyes and exhales shakily, tries to will away the image of toni curled in the dirt, blood drenching her shirt from the wound in her side…

 

“i remember jughead calling an ambulance, and i remember him screaming at me to hold on, but i just kept asking him for you. and even when i was wheeled into the theatre room, i kept asking them where you were. i wanted _you_ , cheryl, it’s all i’ll ever want. i felt…fuck, i felt so _stupid_ for not telling you, and even when i was bleeding out, i just kept thinking about you, and how this was going to hurt you, and how i could let this happen to you-.”

 

“stop. please, just…” cheryl whimpers out, tears immediately falling down her cheeks before she can stop them. she doesn’t want to hear it, doesn’t want to think of toni dying, it _hurts_ too much to think about…

 

“cher, please, just hear me out. i…i was so scared. i was so fucking scared to die, for so many fucking reasons, but most of all because of how much _i love you._ i never want to leave you behind, to suffer through the pain and the torture that this stupid fucking life gives us no matter how hard we try to avoid it. i _never_ want you to feel alone ever again. and i’m _sorry._ do you understand? i’m so _sorry._ ” 

 

toni brushes away her tears, her own falling down the sides of her face and into her pink hair, and cheryl’s bottom lip trembles before she bends down to kiss her as passionately as she possibly can without hurting her, toni’s hands gripping the side of her neck with a soft sigh. 

 

she’ll never, _ever_ be able to understand how toni can be so _selfless._ to be thinking about her, about cheryl in her dying moments…

 

_god, she almost **died.** toni almost died…_

 

cheryl whines, deepening the kiss and pushing her body down on top of toni’s, her mind completely lost in the taste of her girlfriend’s lips.

 

she almost died. she…she almost died, cheryl almost lost the best and greatest thing she’s ever hand in her entire life-

 

what if she lost her? what if toni died, how was cheryl supposed to keep _going?_ toni has given her so much in the five and a half months they’ve known each other, has changed her life, utterly and irrevocably, how was she supposed to live without her person beside her? 

 

toni pulls away with a hiss of pain, and cheryl, mid hysteria, pushes herself up and off toni with a loud wail, burying her face into her hands and sitting cross legged beside her girlfriend with her whole body shaking and trembling. 

 

_she almost died…you could’ve never kissed those lips again, or felt her body against yours…she almost died, and you never would’ve heard her say **‘i love you’** ever again…_

 

“cher? baby…” toni’s voice is shaking almost as hard as cheryl is, but she grabs cheryl’s wrists and tugs her hands away from her face before she pulls the red haired girl down to her chest once more, arms encircling her tightly as cheryl cries harder than she did even at jason’s funeral, tears upon tears upon tears falling before she digs her fingers into toni’s shirt, refusing to let go for a single second.

 

_you could’ve lost her forever…_

 

“i know…i’m here, cher, i’m here, baby…shh…” 

 

\-------------------

 

it takes over half an hour for toni to calm cheryl down. 

 

she’s never seen cheryl break down like this before, not even when toni spent those days with her after she saved her from the sisters of quiet mercy. cheryl had just laid there in her arms and cried to the point of near hysteria, her body shaking like a leaf caught in autumn’s breeze, massive gulps of air passing through her lungs quickly and sharply, and it wasn’t until toni had grabbed cheryl’s hand and rested it on her pulse, whispering to her that it was proof that she was _still alive_ , that cheryl had begun to calm down. 

 

half an hour. half an hour later and with red, puffy eyes and swollen lips, cheryl had pulled herself away from toni with a murmured apology before she’d gone into the bathroom to clean herself up. 

 

toni’s been trying to keep her own emotions at bay ever since cheryl disappeared into the bathroom ten minutes ago, but it’s getting more and more difficult. they _need_ to talk about this, toni knows that, it’s why she said what she said, but fuck, she doesn’t like seeing cheryl in pain like this…that was one of the scariest things toni’s ever witnessed.

 

_you should’ve kept your mouth shut, toni, fuck…_

 

toni blinks back her tears and clears her throat when the door to the bathroom opens and cheryl comes out. toni notices her eyes are still a little bloodshot, but they’re at least not as red and puffy as before as cheryl hiccups and smiles before making her way back onto the bed slowly.

 

“i’m sorry, t.t…” she says huskily, her voice weak as she settles back into toni’s arms.

 

“don’t be. i think you needed that…” toni croaks out, running her fingers through cheryl’s hair with a sigh. cheryl simply hums in agreement before she pushes herself up to look at toni with grief shining in her eyes.

 

“i just…the thought of you dying, of you being gone forever-.”

 

“shh…we can talk about it later, okay? no more emotional stuff today, i think we’ve been through enough.” toni says with a light chuckle. cheryl gives her a shaky one back before she presses a kiss to toni’s lips gently.

 

“i love you, toni.” she whispers. toni tucks red locks behind her ear with a smile before kissing her once more.

 

“i love you too, cheryl.” she whispers back. 

 

cheryl sighs against her, lips moving back down to give her a quick peck on the lips before cheryl’s phone rings loudly, and she pulls away from toni to answer it, not noticing the deep sigh of relief that escapes the pink haired girl as she does.

 

she’s… _exhausted._ between struggling to get up those stairs and holding cheryl through her panic attack, toni’s pretty sure she’s ready to sleep for the next year or so. she can’t handle something like that happening again, she needs to rest and recover before they talk about this again…

 

“hello? oh, yes, hang on, sorry peapod…” cheryl jumps up from the bed with another sniff before she looks to toni with a smile.

 

“the boys are here.”

 

“ugh, food, thank god!” toni groans in an attempt to clear the tension currently intoxicating the room, and cheryl rolls her eyes, but chuckles fondly all the same as she heads out of the bedroom door to open the front door for sweet pea and fangs. 

 

toni sinks back against the pillow and closes her eyes, takes a second to breathe and relax from what just happened, and she’s thankful for sweet pea and fangs’s arrival. she needs a distraction, something to take her mind of the pain not only in her body, but her heart after witnessing cheryl’s breakdown.

 

she feels so fucking guilty, because _she’s_ responsible for every inch of pain cheryl was feeling right now. she’s dreading the day they properly talk about this now…

 

she hears the sound of heavy footsteps, and she quickly puts on the perfect happy face before the door opens and cheryl comes back through with sweet pea and fangs, both boys carrying large pop’s bags and drinks as they grin widely.

 

“you have an extra stomach or something, tiny? this is a lot of food!”

 

“i don’t care, bring that food and your asses here!” toni yells, adjusting herself on the bed with a grin until she’s sitting a little higher, all her worries erased at the sight of her brothers, and sweet pea grins before he hurries over and sets the bag and cups on the bedside table and leans down, his hands on either side of her body as she wraps her arms around his neck gingerly in a slightly awkward hug.

 

“good to see you back home, tiny.” he says softly with a chuckle, leaning back before he reaches out and flicks the tip of her nose with his finger.

 

“ow! asshole…” toni shoves him back by the shoulder, grinning all the same as fangs pushes sweet pea back roughly.

 

“my turn, my turn!” he chants like a child, bending down to hug toni in a similar fashion to sweet pea, but instead of flicking her nose, he simply presses a kiss to her brow. toni can see cheryl watching them fondly as she settles back onto the bed, carrying the bags and drinks that fangs had in his hands.

 

“shoes off if you’re jumping onto this bed, boys.” she says firmly, and both boys grin before they kick their shoes off and jump onto the bed like children.

 

“fuck, this bed is gigantic! what is it, king sized?” fangs says with a grin at cheryl.

 

“yes, it is, but it’s still got your fat asses on it, so be careful!” toni groans, hissing from the pain that explodes up her side as sweet pea jumps up and down on it with a cheer.

 

“oh, shit! sorry, tiny.” he stills immediately, looking at her guiltily as she rolls her eyes at him.

 

“you don’t even take up half the bed, toni. does cheryl have trouble finding you in the morning?” fangs asks with a grin. cheryl snorts in an attempt to hide her laughter, but once sweet pea starts roaring with it, cheryl does too, toni watching them all in feign anger despite her heart swelling with the amount of love and warmth flooding the room right now, a stark contrast to the gloominess that overtook it half an hour ago.

 

“i fucking hate you all.” she says grumpily. 

 

"nah, you don't." sweet pea teases. toni rolls her eyes, but she frowns as she nods at sweet pea once, hesitating before she asks the question on her mind.

 

"how's things at the lakeside?" she asks softly. sweet pea's smile fades instantly, and he looks to fangs, who sighs before he licks his lips and shakes his head.

 

"f.p and jughead are at war, pretty much. the other serpents aren't too happy with jughead for what he did, either. you know they all love you, tiny. but it's nothing to worry about, okay? we all just want you to focus on healing up, alright?" toni sighs, but simply nods, not in the mood for another confrontational or emotional ordeal.

 

she knew jughead was gonna be in deep shit with the other serpents over what happened. putting another serpent's life in danger may not be written as a law, but it was still considered a betrayal to the serpents...for the serpent king himself to do so?

 

god, there's so much she needs to fix...

 

"toni?" cheryl grips her hand, giving it a squeeze to pull her out of her thoughts, and toni blinks once before she licks her lips and smiles.

 

"sorry...yeah, you're right, fangs."

 

cheryl ends up ducking down to the kitchen to grab a few trays so they don’t spill crumbs on the bed, the four of them eating their food as sweet pea pulls out a deck of cards from his pocket with a grin. 

 

they end up playing go fish, of all things, getting through a few rounds before cheryl pulls out her laptop and puts on a crime documentary on netflix, the four of the huddled around the small screen to watch intently. about an hour into the documentary, however, toni can feel her pain returning with each passing minute, but she holds off on taking more painkillers for as long as she can, her hand gripping cheryl’s tightly in an attempt to alleviate the pain. 

 

she’s scared to rely on them. addiction was something that ran in her family, she knows this, has heard stories from her grandfather about how his father’s drug addiction tore his marriage apart. thomas himself also told toni that he struggled with alcohol in his forties, something that clearly was passed down to her uncle jacob, and toni’s not about to become another victim. 

 

but the pain just gets worse and worse, and eventually, cheryl tags on, looking down at toni with a frown before she gives her fingers a squeeze.

 

“are you in pain, t.t?” she asks softly. toni hesitates before she simply nods, and cheryl sighs before she presses a kiss to her temple.

 

“you’re supposed to tell me these things, toni.” she whispers against her skin.

 

“i don’t need them, cheryl.” she says, her voice shaking and betraying her stance as sweet pea and fangs pull their attention away from the laptop screen at the sound of their voices.

 

“everything okay?” fangs asks.

 

“toni’s putting herself through unnecessary pain, as usual.” cheryl mutters before she leans across toni to grab the container on the bedside table. 

 

“tiny, they give you those pills for a reason.” sweet pea says with a frown. toni sinks back against the pillows with a sigh as cheryl shakes two out of the container and holds them up to her mouth.

 

“i know, i just…nothing.” toni mumbles before sticking her tongue out to let cheryl place them on there. cheryl hands her the bottle of water, and toni reluctantly gulps down the pills as cheryl brushes her hair back from her sweaty forehead. 

 

“doctor connors said you’re supposed to take them whenever you feel pain for the first few days, toni. then we can transition to two at breakfast, lunch and dinner. you were stabbed, toni, you’re not going to heal quickly, it takes time. you shouldn’t delay the process by making yourself sick with pain.” cheryl says softly, raking her fingers through toni’s hair affectionately. toni swallows the lump in her throat before she nods once with a smile.

 

“i know, you’re right.”

 

maybe it’s a silly thing to be worried about…toni had cheryl, she had the boys…her life was good. her great grandfather turned to drugs because of a serpent mission that went wrong and resulted in the death of his best friend, and thomas was dealing with a failed marriage when he began drinking. uncle jake was…well, he was fucking uncle jake…

 

she’ll be fine. 

 

“it’s getting late, we should probably head out.” sweet pea says with a yawn, slapping fangs’s chest in order to get his attention.

 

“you’re welcome to stay here, there’s a spare room downstairs.” cheryl says with a smile.

 

“only one? no way then, i’m not sleeping next to this guy, he snores louder than my dad.” sweet pea says, dodging fangs when he makes a swipe at him with a growl.

 

“asshole…thanks for the offer though, red.” fangs says, jumping off the bed before he leans in to press a kiss to both cheryl and toni’s foreheads. 

 

“get some rest, you two.” he says softly with a smile, and sweet pea surprises both toni and cheryl when he begins packing up the food they brought into the takeaway pop’s bags for them.

 

“i’ll throw these in the bin on the way out. you should try and come to the lakeside tomorrow, toni. your grandpa will wanna see you.” sweet pea says with a grin. toni hesitates for a brief moment, the idea of running into jughead or dealing with the war between him and his father not exactly the most appealing thing, but sweet pea’s right, her grandfather was sick with worry over toni and had even come to visit her twice while she was in the hospital despite his sickly state. she owes it to him to make more of an effort to see him…

 

“i’ll see if someone can give us a ride, there’s no way i can get on my bike just yet. maybe archie will wanna swing by, it’s been a while since he hung out at the lakeside. it’ll help keep his mind off everything.” toni says, looking to cheryl, who simply shrugs.

 

“perhaps…i’ll message him tomorrow morning.” she says with a smile. 

 

“if he falls through, let me know, i’ll borrow dad’s truck, alright? sleep tight in your king sized bed, tiny.” sweet pea teases, cackling when toni gives him the finger, and both boys make their exit, the sound of them play fighting echoing all the way up to their bedroom before they hear the front door close behind them. 

 

toni sinks back against the pillows, feeling full and a little dazed from the pain pills as cheryl settles down beside her with a sigh.

 

“should we put a pillow between us to keep you safe, t.t? i move a lot in my sleep, we both know that.” she asks with a frown. toni looks at her incredulously.

 

“you put a pillow between us and i’ll smother you with it.” she deadpans. cheryl’s eyes widen before she looks at toni with a light laugh.

 

“alright, no need to get homicidal.” toni grips her hand and pulls her close, cheryl cuddling up to her chest with a sigh of content as toni rests her chin on top of cheryl’s head.

 

“mmm, i want you as close as possible, forever and always.” toni murmurs. cheryl presses a kiss to her collarbone before she looks up at toni with an arched eyebrow.

 

“still, i’d feel better if you slept on this side of the bed so i can avoid your right side altogether.” cheryl says firmly. toni pouts at her playfully.

 

“but i always sleep on the left side of the bed.” she whines. cheryl rolls her eyes and leans up to press a kiss to her jaw.

 

“well, now you’re going to sleep on the right side. but first…i think a shower is needed.” 

 

“are you saying i smell?” 

 

“not directly, my dear.” 

 

ten minutes later, they’re both in the bathroom, toni gripping the vanity of the sink to hold herself up as cheryl helps toni shrug out of her jeans and her shirt, her eyes falling on her bandaged back with a wince before she unclips her bra and slides it off her arms. 

 

“are you joining me?” toni says with a wicked grin, and cheryl slaps her thigh in reprimand before she hooks her fingers into the elastic of toni’s underwear.

 

“i am, but don’t get any ideas, toni.” 

 

“why not, i love ideas.” 

 

she knows she’s too weak for sex, but she’s enjoying the playful banter. every second they spend silent, toni’s worried that cheryl’s thoughts will return to toni’s brush with death, and she doesn’t want cheryl to think about that when toni was _right here_ , alive and well, albeit very sore and still getting through the pain. 

 

cheryl slides her underwear down and off her legs, toni gripping her shoulder for stability before she stands and presses a kiss to toni’s cheek.

 

“ready, ma cherie?” toni nods once with a smile as cheryl takes her hand and leads her over to the shower, helping her step over the tub. toni begins fiddling with the cold and hot water, turning the taps to get the perfect temperature in an effort to distract herself as cheryl gets undressed, but once her eyes land on the serpent tattoo on her left shoulder blade and the faint scar underneath it that trails all the way down to the middle of her back, toni suddenly can’t think about anything else but kissing every inch of cheryl’s skin, imperfections and all. 

 

because despite the scars, in toni’s eyes…fuck, she was _perfect._

 

“cher…” toni’s voice cracks, and cheryl must read it more as arousal than emotional, because she looks over her shoulder at toni and shakes her head with a chuckle.

 

“we’re not having sex, toni, stop trying.” 

 

“no, i know, i just…you’re so beautiful, cheryl.” toni whispers, barely even noticing how cold the water that’s hitting her is as she smiles at her girlfriend, who gives her the softest smile in return before she takes off her underwear, leaving her just as naked as toni. 

 

“thank you.” she says, her voice small and a slight blush on her cheeks that has toni staring at her, nonplussed. when cheryl sees her confusion, she sighs and steps over the tub until she’s standing right behind toni.

 

“i like when you call me ‘beautiful’. it makes me feel like i really am, just for a moment.” cheryl murmurs, her hand moving past toni to turn the hot water on properly. the water turns warm instantly, and toni turns around to face her girlfriend with an incredulous expression written all over her face.

 

“you _are_ , cher. you’re the most beautiful person i know, inside and out.” toni says firmly, lifting her hands to cradle cheryl’s face in them delicately. cheryl’s smile only grows impossibly wider before she lets out a shaky breath and presses a kiss to the palm of toni’s hand. 

 

“you’re the most beautiful thing in my life, toni. i’m sorry…for my freakout earlier, i just…thinking about you not being here anymore, it really hit me that i almost lost you and i couldn’t bear the pain. i _need_ you in my life, t.t. utterly and unconditionally.” cheryl says softly, her fingers closing over toni’s wrists and giving them a gentle squeeze. the pink haired serpent sighs before she leans up to kiss her girlfriend, fingers tangling in her hair and pulling her down to deepen the kiss as cheryl’s fingers brush up and down her back lightly, avoiding her bandaged wound cautiously. 

 

“i need you in mine, too, cher. god…i _love_ you. so, so much…i know i’ve said it a hundred times today-.”

 

“i love you too, toni. and i will never, _ever_ get tired of hearing those three words from you. just as i hope you will never tire of hearing them from me.” cheryl pulls her a little closer with a warm smile, and toni almost scoffs at the pure impossibility of it all.

 

“never.” she says simply. cheryl chuckles before she wraps her arms around toni’s waist and presses a kiss to her brow.

 

“good. now come, your hair hasn’t been washed in a week, if we dawdle any longer, you’ll begin to grow dreadlocks.” 

 

\-------------------

 

“ow, dammit!”

 

cheryl immediately lifts her index finger up to her mouth, lips closing around the wound that’s quickly spilling blood as she sighs and reaches for a paper towel, wrapping it around the little wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding before she picks the knife up again and continues cutting the apple in front of her.

 

she’s distracted, and it’s definitely not a good thing to be distracted with sharp objects in your goddamn hands, but between trying very hard to keep an ear out for the sound of toni waking up, and trying to ignore the hurt in her heart over handling a weapon that caused her girlfriend’s current pain, cheryl’s finding it very fucking difficult to stop herself from crying again.

 

but she refuses to. after last night, breaking down in front of toni like that on her first fucking day out of the hospital…cheryl’s trying so hard to be strong for her girlfriend, because lord only knows how much pain toni was really in, emotionally and physically, but god, it’s _hard_.

 

she just wishes they could go back to before this entire thing happened, wishes she could go back to the month before archie was arrested, when she was a fresh serpent, living in bliss with her girlfriend without any worries or fears or doubts…

 

cheryl suppresses a yawn and blinks away the fatigue as she turns to the stove to turn over the eggs currently frying inside the pan. she barely slept last night, too worried about the possibility of a nightmare sending her body into convulsions with her very injured girlfriend sleeping right beside her. cheryl had brought up the idea of her sleeping in another room last night while they were showering just in case, and toni had almost bit her head off the second she mentioned it.

 

“i spent a week not sleeping with you by my side, cher, it’s not happening. stop worrying, i’m fine.” toni had huffed while cheryl had rolled her eyes and continued massaging the shampoo in her palms into toni’s hair.

 

it had led to a sleepless night for cheryl, yes, but she’s quite sure than even if she had slept in another room, if the nightmares had come, toni would’ve jumped out of bed and come running to her, which probably would’ve been worse either way. as it was, she barely slept at the hospital for the same reason, so realistically, she’s running on very limited hours of sleep, it’s no wonder she’s accidentally cutting her finger and burning eggs-

 

“dammit!” cheryl waves her hand over the smoke rising from the pan before she grips the handle and pulls it away from the stove, cursing under her breath as the smoke slowly dissipates. she turns the stove off before grabbing the spatula and taking the eggs off the pan and onto the plate where her cut up apples are. they’re golden brown, not too burned, thankfully. if cheryl couldn’t even cook breakfast for her girlfriend, she might as well hand in her resignation as toni’s paramour right now. 

 

she throws the pan onto the stove top with a little sigh of frustration before she grips the counter top and closes her eyes with a sharp inhale. 

 

she needs to relax, she’s way too wound up-

 

“cooking for toni?” cheryl jumps slightly at the sound of a voice, and smiles when lisa comes through the kitchen, wheeling nana rose in as she does. lisa looks at her with a slight smirk as cheryl sighs and nods once.

 

“yes, and failing miserably.” cheryl deadpans.

 

“here, let me finish it off, okay? just relax for a moment.” lisa makes her way over to cheryl, gripping her shoulder as she does, but cheryl shakes her head with a frown.

 

“you’re nana rose’s caretaker, lisa, not the maid-.”

 

“i am nana rose’s caretaker, which means i make food for her, too. i don’t mind, cheryl, it’s alright.” lisa says with a chuckle, grabbing the eggo waffles that pop out of the toaster and placing them on the plate with the eggs before she grabs a banana and peels it.

 

cheryl turns to her nana rose, who looks up at her with a sparkle in her eyes, and she makes her way over to her with a warm smile, bending down onto her knees before gripping her wrinkly hand in her own.

 

“how are you feeling, nana? lisa told me these last few days have been tough.” cheryl croaks out. nana rose closes cheryl’s hand in her own with an exasperated sigh.

 

“lisa worries too much, dear. i’m just fine. i told you, i’m going to live forever.” she says with a wicked smirk, and cheryl rolls her eyes, but leans up to press a kiss to her nana’s cheek nonetheless.

 

“at this point, you might just outlive us all, nana rose.” she whispers. nana rose hums before she reaches out to cradle cheryl’s cheek in her hand.

 

“how is our dearest antoinette?” she asks. cheryl swallows the lump in her throat and does her best to smile.

 

“she’s okay. just in a lot of pain…” cheryl licks her lips and stands up to turn to lisa.

 

“we’re going to the lakeside to visit toni’s grandfather today. archie andrews will be picking us up…if you need anything, please call me, lisa. anything at all.”

 

“of course, cheryl. i’ll keep you updated.” cheryl hears nana rose sigh behind her, and she chuckles and turns to face her nana before leaning down to kiss her forehead.

 

“i worry because i care, nana. never forget that.” she says firmly. nana rose rolls her eyes, but smiles all the same as lisa holds out a tray with two plates of eggs, waffles, fruit and two glasses of orange to her.

 

“go and eat with your girlfriend.” she teases. cheryl smiles and gives her thanks before she takes the tray and heads toward the stairs, making her way up them lethargically before she opens the door-

 

and toni is nowhere to be seen.

 

the bed is empty, the covers thrown back, and cheryl feels panic quickly rise in her throat before she hears the sound of the toilet flushing. she bites back a whimper of relief and rests the tray on top of the bed before she walks toward the door quickly.

 

“toni? are you okay?” she calls out, knocking on the door softly.

 

“yeah, you can come in.” cheryl smiles and opens the door, and is greeted to toni washing her hands in the basin before she grabs her toothbrush and the toothpaste. She squeezes it from the middle, and cheryl bites back the reprimanding comment that builds in her throat at the sight of it.

 

_god, she can be a hobgoblin, squeezing from the middle of the goddamn tube-_

 

“something smells good, other than you.” toni teases with a grin, and cheryl rolls her eyes as she begins brushing her teeth, making her way over to her girlfriend to press a kiss to the back of her head.

 

“i made us breakfast. it’s on the bed. did you take your pain pills?” thankfully, toni finishes brushing her teeth before she replies, but cheryl notices her wincing when she bends forward a little to spit the toothpaste in her mouth into the sink.

 

“not yet.” she murmurs before rinsing her mouth out. when she’s done, she grabs the towel on the handrail to wipe her mouth before she turns slowly in her girlfriend’s arms.

 

“good morning.” she whispers, wrapping her arms around cheryl’s waist and pulling her in for a gentle kiss. the taste of mint invades her tastebuds as toni deepens the kiss, and cheryl chuckles against her as she pulls away and rests her forehead on toni’s. 

 

“good morning, my love…” toni frowns, her fingers suddenly brushing over the bags under cheryl’s eyes with concern.

 

“did you sleep last night?” she croaks out. cheryl simply hums in response, giving only the smallest of nods. it’s not entirely untrue, she got maybe an hour or so…

 

“cher…”

 

“i’m fine, babe. archie’s coming to pick us up at eleven. are you sure you’re up to go to the lakeside, t.t?” she asks softly. toni inhales sharply before she nods against her once.

 

“granted, i don’t like the idea of running into jughead, or dealing with any anger over the situation, but…i need to see my grandpa, and i can’t avoid the lakeside forever. you’ll be there with me, right?” toni says, looking up into cheryl’s eyes with a pout that she quickly kisses away.

 

“of course.” 

 

“then i’ll be fine. now come on, let’s go eat some breakfast.” 

 

toni grips cheryl’s hand in her own, dragging her out of the bathroom, and as soon as her eyes land on the tray on the bed, she grins and makes her way over to it gingerly, cheryl not missing the slight limp in her step. she frowns, but toni seems happy enough as she plucks a piece of apple and eats it before looking up at cheryl with a smile. cheryl simply watches her fondly for a few moments, unable to keep the grin off her face as she does. 

 

she has no idea what’s waiting for them once they get to the lakeside, but in this moment…none of it really matters.

 

toni’s alive. she’s alive and no matter what happens next, cheryl will always be thankful for this girl in front of her. will always, without a shadow of a doubt, _love_ this girl in front of her.

 

and no amount of sleepless nights or near death experiences was going to change that.


	10. what if our roles were reversed?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...i told you this chapter was going to be big and a lot of shit was going to go down, so that being said...uhhhh, enjoy? *whistles quietly*
> 
> don't forget to leave comments!

“so hang on, you’re telling me clifford pretty much tried to bribe you into being cheryl’s boyfriend so you could take over the company?” 

 

toni watches incredulously as archie andrews sighs and nods once, turning to look at cheryl with an almost sad smile as the red haired girl lets out a deep sigh beside her girlfriend. toni cocks an eyebrow and turns to look at her in the seat beside her, and cheryl shifts uncomfortably, adjusting the seatbelt over her shoulder as she does.

 

they’re in archie’s truck, on their way to the lakeside, and archie had been telling toni about his music when cheryl had suddenly apologized to him for never securing him “a spot” for something that toni didn’t understand. when she questioned it, archie had launched into his tale about how clifford blossom had attempted to bribe him with his music career in return for grooming him to be cheryl’s partner so he could take jason’s place at the head of the company. 

 

“that’s…fucked up. why didn’t clifford just let you take over?” toni asks cheryl, and her red haired girlfriend rolls her eyes and leans in to kiss toni’s cheek.

 

“your naivety is truly astounding, my love. my father thought i was crazy and would never trust a woman to front his beloved company. he was a hideous man, toni. we all know this. he knew how to manipulate people into doing what he wanted.” cheryl says hollowly. toni grips cheryl’s hand in her own, sighing as archie makes a turn and nods solemnly.

 

“he got inside both of our heads. i’ll admit, the bribe worked, but at the end of the day, i saw how much damage it was doing to cheryl. when she kissed me-.”

 

“wait, you kissed archie?!” toni interrupts loudly, mouth dropping open in shock, and archie laughs at the look on her face as cheryl winces, her cheeks turning bright red. 

 

“i was alone and upset and i mistook archie’s kindness for attraction, leave me alone.” she grumbles. toni blinks once, suddenly feeling incredibly stupid as she lets out a light laugh and squeezes cheryl’s hand in her own, interlacing their fingers quickly before pressing a kiss to the back of her hand.

 

of course she did, because cheryl, her poor, sweet, beautiful cheryl had never received an inch of kindness from anyone other than jason in her life…of course she would think archie simply being nice would mean that, god, her parents really left her touch starved and emotionally challenged…toni was doing her best to try and change that, but sometimes things just stuck with you…

 

“i’m sorry, baby, i didn’t mean it in an angry way. i’m just surprised, that’s all.” toni frowns, and archie chuckles beside her as he smiles and looks down at their intertwined hands before he shakes his head.

 

“it was a tough time for you, cheryl, i get that. but when you kissed me, that’s when i knew that i couldn’t keep accept clifford’s offer. that in the long run, it was just gonna hurt us both. i cared about you a lot, cheryl, and i still do, but i didn’t have romantic feelings, and i knew you definitely didn’t have any for me because, well…i kind of always had a feeling you were gay, you know?” archie says, glancing at cheryl almost nervously, like he’s afraid he’s stepping over a boundary despite the fact that cheryl is in his truck right now sitting next to a girl who she just called “my love”. 

 

cheryl, however, squeezes toni’s hand and looks at archie in complete shock, blinking rapidly before she replies.

 

“you did?” she manages to say, voice shaking slightly. archie simply gives her a small smile and a nod. 

 

“well, yeah. i remember how close you were with heather, and how happy she made you. not as happy as toni makes you now, but…you changed when she came around. you became nicer, and every time someone mentioned her, you’d get this blush in your cheeks that reminded me of how i’d feel when someone spoke about erica dawson, that girl i had a crush on who was a grade above us.” toni feels a tiny spark of jealousy at the mention of cheryl’s former flame, but she very quickly swallows it down, because it’s stupid to be jealous over a girl who brought cheryl so much happiness and love. toni could never hate anyone who did that for her girlfriend, especially considering she never received anything like that from her own parents. heather did great things to cheryl’s ability to love, and if it wasn’t for her, well…toni doubts her and cheryl would be where they are right now. besides, cheryl was head over heels in love with her and toni didn’t doubt it for a second. there was nothing to be jealous of. cheryl was _hers_ and she was _cheryl’s_ , forever and always.

 

“yes…i suppose i wasn’t very subtle about my feelings for her.” cheryl breathes, letting out a slightly nervous chuckle as toni smiles up at her softly. archie laughs quietly as well, his eyes focused on the road.

 

“it’s’ okay, i don’t think anyone else really noticed, and i didn’t say anything, cause i didn’t want to make you uncomfortable by just throwing speculation out, that’s most of the reason why i pushed you away when you kissed me. i know you didn’t want to, cheryl, you were just trying to make your dad happy, and i didn’t want you to force yourself to have something with me just for him.” archie trails off with a frown of concern before his eyes move to cheryl, and toni turns to face her girlfriend to see her blinking back tears as she purses her lips and simply smiles sadly at the boy behind the steering wheel. 

 

“you are truly one of the best people i know, archie andrews.” she says softly. toni sinks back in her seat and closes her eyes, her hand moving out of cheryl’s to grip archie’s bicep.

 

“agreed.” she says hollowly. she opens her eyes to see archie smiling at them both widely, and the sight only makes toni’s heart hurt more.

 

why did it have to be a set up? why couldn’t it have been true? why couldn’t her and jughead have found something to clear this poor, innocent boy’s name? the thought of archie going to jail immediately brings tears to her eyes, and toni sniffs them back and grins at the boy, saying the first thing that comes to her mind.

 

“who knew archie andrews had a good gaydar, huh? although it needs some tweaking. cheryl’s bisexual like me, arch.” toni says jovially in an effort to keep the energy in the truck lighthearted, nudging archie playfully when cheryl suddenly clutches her hand and gives it a tight squeeze.

 

“actually…” toni turns to look at her girlfriend with a frown replacing her grin, watches as cheryl bites down on her lower lip before she meets toni’s eyes with a shaky exhale, hesitation and doubt shining in those chocolate brown eyes of hers.

 

“i think he was right all along, toni.” she whispers. 

 

oh, whoa.

 

toni isn’t quite sure how to even reply to that, the words repeating in her mind over and over again, but luckily, before she can think of a response, cheryl licks her lips and shakes her head before continuing.

 

“i’ve been thinking about it for the last few weeks…all my experiences with guys…archie, moose, and god, even reggie…they were all these desperate attempts to try to _feel_ something that could replace what i felt with heather. but nothing ever worked…not until you, t.t. and the more i’ve thought about it, the more i realized that…” cheryl swallows thickly suddenly, and toni doesn’t even hesitate in giving her hand a squeeze of support, smiling as cheryl looks up at her with a light laugh.

 

“i realized that a man’s rough hands and harsh touch would never compare, to me, to the soft hands and gentle touch of a woman. that a chiseled jaw and stubble paled in comparison to delicate features and soft lips…the curve of hips and the feeling of a woman’s full chest against my own…it’s all i’ve ever craved and all i’ll ever want, toni. maybe part of me was still clinging to the hope that i was bisexual so that i’d end up with someone like archie somewhere down the line, so my parents wouldn’t find one more reason to be disappointed in me. but if being with you has taught me anything, it’s that i don’t need to hide who i am anymore. because who i am when i’m with you, _because_ of you…that’s who i want to be.” cheryl says, her voice strong, filled with nothing but passion and truth, toni finds herself staring at her in awe for a few moments.

 

god, this girl was so _fucking beautiful…_ inside and out.

 

“why didn’t you tell me you were feeling that way, baby?” toni finally breathes out, tears welling in her eyes as she leans in closer to press a kiss to cheryl’s temple. her girlfriend squeezes her hand tightly before she swallows thickly.

 

“i didn’t think it was that big of a deal, t.t, it’s quite obvious to myself and everyone around me that i’m attracted to women, what does it matter if i’m gay instead of bi?” cheryl says hoarsely, but toni shakes her head in disbelief and presses another kiss to her skin.

 

she can't believe cheryl really saw this as something small...to go from thinking you were bisexual to coming to terms with being a lesbian, it's a big change. toni had enough difficulty accepting her bisexuality once, and she knows cheryl did, too, for her to have to go through that process again by herself...

 

“cher, it _is_ a big deal to _you_ , so don’t downplay it. i’m so proud of you, baby…don’t ever see your sexuality as ‘not a big deal’, not after you spent so many years repressing it. you deserve to love that part of yourself because it’s one of the most beautiful things about you, okay?” toni says softly, awkwardly moving her hand to tuck a lock of hair behind cheryl’s ear before she kisses it, causing cheryl to giggle slightly at the tickle of toni’s breath against her earlobe. the red head purses her lips and nods once before she kisses toni soundly, a hand moving up to brush over toni’s cheek affectionately. 

 

“this is why you’re the best thing to ever happen to me, toni topaz.” she whispers. toni hums softly before she kisses cheryl’s lips once more, her body twisting to rest back against the seat when they move over gravel and her body jolts with pain.

 

“so…turns out my gaydar isn’t broken, but yours is, huh?” archie teases. toni rolls her eyes and punches him in the arm as he laughs and pulls up to the lakeside, and toni’s mind is suddenly wiped clean of cheryl’s sudden confession as she sees the serpents milling about, anxiety gripping her at what she’s about to face.

 

she can’t see the serpent king or his father from this distance, and everything seems quiet and peaceful enough. maybe she won’t have to deal with any outbursts of anger today…

 

“babe?” cheryl’s hand in her own brings an instant state of calm over her, and she licks her lips and turns to her girlfriend, who brushes her hair back from her forehead and presses a kiss to the corner of her mouth.

 

“if it gets overwhelming at any point, we’ll leave straight away, alright?” she murmurs. toni swallows the lump in her throat and nods once before cheryl sighs and opens the passenger door while archie puts the truck into park and turns the ignition off. 

 

“how are you feeling?” archie asks in a low voice, his eyes on the fire a few feet ahead of them. toni scoffs and hesitates before she replies.

 

“scared.” she says truthfully. archie sighs and simply taps her thigh sympathetically before he exits the truck, and toni closes her eyes and inhales deeply before she nods and follows after cheryl out of the truck, her girlfriend helping her ease out of it slowly until her feet are both on solid ground.

 

as soon as the redhead slams the door shut behind them, a few heads look up, some of them in shock, some of them with wide grins as toni returns their smiles and makes her way over to the fire burning in the middle of the lakeside. 

 

“topaz! looks like the grim reaper couldn’t quite get a hold of ya, huh!?” a voice shouts, and she turns to her left to see birdie cackling as she makes her way over to them with her arms wide open. toni grins, her heart soaring at the sight of her former boss, but who was more like her favorite aunt as she makes her way over to her, wincing slightly at the pain in her side that throbs with each step.

 

“can’t get rid of me that easy, birdie.” she teases, and birdie laughs again before she envelops toni in a warm hug.

 

“now why would i wanna get rid of my favorite bartender?” she says tenderly, pulling back to ruffle toni’s hair as the pink haired serpent rolls her eyes.

 

“yeah, yeah, we all know sweet pea’s your favorite.”

 

“what can i say, kid, those dimples of his are charming. how are you feeling?” birdie asks with a frown. toni shrugs as more serpents begin to notice her arrival, a few of them shouting out her name as she raises a hand in greeting.

 

“getting there slowly.”

 

“yeah, must be a breeze with red by your side though, eh?” birdie says, winking at cheryl, who rolls her eyes and presses a kiss to the back of toni’s head before wrapping an arm around her waist. 

 

“i’m surprised she’s not sick of me by now, i haven’t left her side for a single second.” cheryl says with a chuckle. toni tucks her hand into the back pocket of cheryl’s jeans and leans up on her toes slightly to kiss her cheek.

 

“like i could ever get sick of you.” she mumbles with a grin. 

 

“alright lovebirds, go say hi to the rest of the rascals. your grandfather is in his trailer, you should pay him a visit.” birdie says with a smile, and toni gives her a two fingered salute before she makes her way to the fire, where archie is already sitting with sweet pea and fangs. all three boys grin up at her as her and cheryl draw closer, and as soon as they sit down at the log beside the boys, a few other serpents approach them. the next ten minutes are taken up by serpents hugging her lightly and telling her they’re happy she’s okay, but none of them bring up jughead, and toni’s kind of thankful. she has no idea where the serpent king is, but she wants to avoid him for as long as possible.

 

she’s still pissed off. and she has every right to be, as far as she’s concerned.

 

as soon as the welcome party begins to dissipate, toni glances over at her grandfather’s trailer before sighing.

 

“can we go see my grandfather?” she asks cheryl softly. her girlfriend smiles and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear before kissing her temple.

 

“of course, t.t. let’s go.” toni tells the boys she’ll be back, rolls her eyes when they barely hear her over fangs roaring with laughter at something archie says, before cheryl leads her over to her grandfather’s trailer, the both of them wrapped in each other once more.

 

“grandpa? it’s toni!” the pink haired serpent calls out, climbing up the steps one at a time with cheryl right behind her, a hand on her waist helping her move up each step slowly. she extends a hand to knock on the door loudly, waiting for a few seconds before it opens-

 

and f.p jones is standing before her, looking at her in surprise before he smiles widely.

 

“hey, kid! how are you feeling?” he asks, reaching out to grip her shoulder.

 

“i’ve been asked that at least thirty times in the last like fifteen minutes. i’m fine, f.p. where’s my grandpa?” toni asks, stepping over the threshold and looking to the left to find thomas topaz sitting in the kitchen, leaning against his chair with the most morose look on his face.

 

toni pulls herself away from cheryl, letting go of her hand as she greets f.p, and she makes her way over to her grandfather, reaching out to grip his shoulder with a frown of concern.

 

something’s wrong, something’s really wrong here…

 

“grandpa? what’s wrong?” toni asks softly, gripping the chair in front of her and pulling it back before she gingerly sits herself down on it with a wince. thomas looks up at her with a sad smile, his hand gripping hers on his shoulder as he shakes his head.

 

“it’s nothing to worry your mind about, little bird. are you okay? i’m sorry i didn’t come to see you much-.”

 

“hey, no, don’t be silly, grandpa. i had cheryl, i wasn’t alone.” toni says with a smile just as her girlfriend moves to stand behind her, gripping her shoulders and giving them a light squeeze.

 

“don’t worry, thomas, i’m looking after her, i promise.” cheryl says softly. thomas chuckles and drinks from the cup in his hand before he nods up at them, a twinkle shining in his eyes.

 

“i know you are, cheryl. i couldn’t ask for anyone better to be looking after her. but she’s still the only granddaughter i’ve got left in riverdale, so…” toni winces at that, and she can almost feel the confusion coming off cheryl behind her, but she focuses on her grandfather for now, deciding she’ll tell cheryl all about it later. 

 

“grandpa, i’m okay. is that what you’re upset about? i promise i’m okay, i mean…i’m a little sore, of course, but other than that, i’m fine.” toni reassures him, reaching out to grip his hand in her own tightly, but thomas clenches his jaw and looks past her at f.p, who sighs and runs his fingers through his hair before he makes his way over to stand beside the serpent elder.

 

“the ghoulies went too far with this, toni. i can’t believe penny did this…jughead told me how they chased you all the way from shadow lake back to riverdale, they weren’t planning on letting you two escape for a single second. they wanted your lives, and they almost got yours.” f.p growls, and toni knows where this is going to lead, she knows it, and there's no goddamn way she's going to allow it. she's sick of all the goddamn fighting, sick of their lives always being in danger-

 

“no. we’re not starting more bullshit wars over this! we’re safe here at the lakeside, this is the last piece of sacred uktena land left, they can’t touch us here.” toni says firmly, nails digging into her thighs as she winces at the pain in her side. f.p clenches his jaw and looks at her with a hardness in his eyes that toni’s seen a hundred times before.

 

“toni, they almost killed you-.”

 

“i know, okay!?” toni snaps, glaring up at the former serpent king as cheryl’s nails dig into her shoulder to keep her calm. she inhales shakily before she closes her eyes and sinks back into her chair, the back of her head hitting cheryl’s stomach lightly. 

 

“i know they almost killed me. i’m gonna have a constant reminder of it with the scars and the shit kidney, so i know. but i’m not gonna put any other serpent’s life at risk over it. we’re safe here, so we stay here. let penny and the ghoulies have the southside, territory doesn’t matter when lives are at stake, especially serpent lives! we can’t be divided right now, we need to be stronger than ever. ‘in unity there is strength’, remember?” toni says, her voice strong and filled with passion.

 

there’s something akin to pride shining in thomas topaz’s eyes as he looks up at f.p, who purses his lips and looks down at the pink haired serpent with a frown before he sighs loudly.

 

“toni…are you sure? because jughead’s leaving this with you. some of those people out there are calling for penny’s blood, but he’s refusing to make a move without knowing what _you_ want first.” 

 

toni feels cheryl’s nails dig in a little tighter at the mention of the serpent king, and toni cringes as well before she licks her lips and shakes her head.

 

“where is he? i’ll tell him myself.” toni demands, moving to stand from the chair she’s in, but f.p chuckles and gently waves her back down.

 

“he’s not here. he’s been avoiding this place as much as possible for the last week, and, we…had a bit of a disagreement this morning, so he ran off to betty’s to calm down.” f.p says with a sigh. toni frowns, but doesn’t comment on it, simply leans back against her girlfriend before she nods once and looks up at f.p.

 

“no retaliation. we leave it alone. we’re not putting another serpent’s life at risk just for me. end of discussion.” toni says with a tone of finality that has thomas smiling as he looks up at f.p with a shrug.

 

“end of discussion.” he reiterates. toni's thankful for her grandfather's support, because the former serpent king frowns, but simply nods his approval before he pulls his phone out of his pocket.

 

“i’ll let jughead know, tell him to get his ass down here.”

 

“good. tell him to stop being a coward and running away from his mistakes. he needs to own up to what he did and work toward a solution instead of trying to avoid it.” cheryl says through clenched teeth behind toni. toni sighs in exasperation, and f.p looks less than pleased that his son is being chewed out, but he says nothing, clearly agreeing with the red haired girl when he nods once and makes his way outside of the trailer, raising his phone to his ear as he does. 

 

toni sinks tiredly into her chair, and cheryl leans down to kiss the top of her head before she’s reaching into her purse to pull out toni’s pills, the rattling in the little orange container bringing toni’s attention to her girlfriend.

 

“cher, i-.”

 

“don’t start, you’ve been wincing in pain for the last ten minutes and you haven’t had any since breakfast this morning. open up.” cheryl says firmly, and toni knows better than to argue with her girlfriend, so she sighs deeply and opens her mouth for cheryl to pop the pills on her tongue.

 

thomas chuckles, watching them with amusement as he slides over his glass of water to toni. she drinks them down before looking to her grandfather with a frown.

 

something was still off, she knows it...

 

“grandpa, you looked upset when i came in, is everything okay?” toni asks softly, leaning in closer as the pills slowly start to make the throbbing pain in her side disappear. he stares at her with hesitation shining in his eyes for a few moments before he simply shakes his head and smiles.

 

“it’s nothing you need to worry about. you need to focus on healing yourself, physically, mentally and spiritually. what you went through was nothing small, toni. you brushed paths with the spirit world and almost fell into it’s depths. you need to come to terms with that.” thomas says firmly, giving her hand a gentle squeeze before he starts moving to get out of his chair.

 

toni feels her heart stop, her teeth gnawing on her bottom lip anxiously. he's right...she knows she hasn't _really_ come to terms with what happened, but it's hard to get a minute to think when everything's going to shit around her...

 

toni’s still processing his words when the weight of cheryl gripping her shoulders disappears, and she sees a flash of red hair before cheryl’s right by thomas’s side, helping him stand slowly with a smile on her face. he gives her one back, and toni’s heart warms at the sight as he clutches cheryl’s hand in his own and straightens up with a wince and a deep sigh.

 

“your grandfather is getting old, little bird.” he chuckles, moving past her and gripping her shoulder as he does. toni blinks back tears as cheryl watches him go with a frown of concern before she looks down at toni and bends down in front of her, gripping her knees in her hands as she does. 

 

“are you okay?” she whispers. toni sighs and simply nods once, shaking away her thoughts of death and placing her hands over cheryl’s, giving them a gentle squeeze. 

 

“yeah. come on, let’s go outside.”

 

\------------

 

“finally!”

 

cheryl’s head snaps up at the sound of toni huffing, and when she sees none other than jughead jones pulling up on his motorcycle with betty cooper perched right behind him, cheryl feels nothing but anger course throughout her entire body just at the sight of them.

 

she clenches her fist, nails digging into her palm as he turns his bike off and dismounts, betty doing the same, and cheryl can’t help but smirk when she sees the other serpents around them either glare up at him angrily, or shake their heads in disappointment.

 

good, she hopes he feels every painful _sting_ of anger from them-

 

“archie, what are you doing here?” jughead asks, eyes wide as he spots his best friend helping to reinvigorate the fire with sweet pea and fangs. archie’s expression turns a little stony at the sight of him, but he simply shrugs.

 

“cheryl and toni needed a ride, she can’t operate her bike just yet.” he says simply. jughead’s eyes fall on toni, who slowly stands up from the log she’s sitting on with a wince, and cheryl frowns and sets her eyes on the setting sun over the horizon. toni had her pills last at around twelve, that was hours ago now-

 

“how…how are you feeling?” jughead says in a hollow voice, stepping closer to them as betty awkwardly stands behind him. cheryl makes eye contact with her cousin as she stands and crosses her arms over her chest, and betty’s cheeks turn red as she averts her gaze guiltily.

 

_she better look away, she’s lucky i’m not snapping my fist into that face of hers-_

 

“i’m fine, jug. we need to talk.” toni says firmly. jughead sighs before he looks behind him to betty, a small smile on his face, and she sighs and makes her way over to archie as jughead waves over toni, cheryl, sweet pea and fangs. the four of them exchange looks and scoff before they follow after him, and cheryl hesitates, not wanting to hear a single word he has to say.

 

she’s dead to him, that’s it.

 

but toni is following after him, and cheryl doesn’t want to leave her side, not when her pain is clearly returning, so she begrudgingly follows after them. he can say everything under the sun, she's not forgiving him for what he's done...

 

they make their way to the jones’s trailer, the door opening before jughead even reaches the steps as f.p looks at them all sternly, his eyes landing on his son with a raised eyebrow.

 

“about time, boy. i called hours ago.” he says firmly. jughead sighs.

 

“we stopped at pop’s, betty was hungry.”

 

“you mean _you_ were hungry.” f.p says, rolling his eyes, but smiling all the same as jughead chuckles, but the banter only pisses off cheryl even more.

 

so toni spent hours sitting on an uncomfortable log with her pain getting worse and worse because jughead was _hungry?_

 

toni must feel the anger coming off of her in droves, because she looks at cheryl with a frown before she reaches out to grip her hand, interlacing their fingers and rubbing circles into the back of it with her thumb. 

 

“cher…” she mumbles almost in warning, and cheryl simply squeezes her hand to calm herself down as the four of them file into f.p’s trailer after jughead. 

 

they all sit down on the couch, cheryl pulling toni into her lap comfortably without hurting her as the pink haired serpent leans back into her gently, cheryl wrapping her arm around her waist snugly. f.p sighs and stands off to the side, leaning against the wall as jughead looks at the four of them with a frown before he takes off his beanie and runs his fingers through his hair.

 

“i know…i know there’s a lot of tension between all of us right now, but i need to get this off my chest.” he says in a low voice. he meets toni’s eyes, nothing but guilt and sadness shining in his own as he steps closer and sits down on the coffee table in front of them so he’s eye level with her, blue eyes shining with tears.

 

“toni, i’m _sorry._ if i had any inkling of what was waiting for us at shadow lake, i wouldn’t have taken us there at all. i was just so focused on helping archie that i didn’t think of the possibility of it being a setup and…it almost cost you your life. i can’t apologize enough for what i did, but i’ve felt like shit the whole week about it-.”

 

“how nice. doesn’t erase what you did.” cheryl growls before she can stop herself. she's just so _angry_ still, the last week of watching toni struggle to deal with her pain still echoing in her mind, and toni’s hand immediately closes around the one gripping her waist, a sigh escaping her as she shakes her head.

 

“jug, i get why you did it, okay? that's not why i'm mad. i'm pissed off more than anything about the fact that you kept holding…you kept holding what archie _did_ over my head, when the truth is, i was there to help regardless.” toni says, glancing nervously at sweet pea and fangs, who look confused at what she's saying, but don't comment on it either way. cheryl bites down on her bottom lip, feeling guilty that they've been kept out of the loop at her expense as toni squeezes her hand and looks to jughead with a raised eyebrow. 

 

“you didn’t need to do that. and yeah, i also get why you didn’t see it as a possible setup, i didn’t either. we were both just focused on helping archie, but the truth is, neither of us should’ve done it. archie didn’t want us to, we should’ve respected his wishes. we both fucked up.” toni says hoarsely. jughead clenches his jaw and nods slowly, tears in his eyes as he reaches out to grip toni’s hand, and cheryl fights the maddening urge to kick his hand away, her thighs tensing beneath toni's backside.

 

he shouldn't even be allowed to touch her, god, why did her girlfriend have the most _forgiving goddamn soul-_

 

“i’m sorry.” he croaks out. toni smiles at him, and for the first goddamn time since cheryl’s met her, the sight of that beautiful smile makes her _angry._

 

this can't be all he gets. this can't be the only punishment he gets for almost getting toni killed, no way. why the _fuck_ was toni forgiving him so fucking easily?

 

“it’s okay, you saved my life at the end of the day, jughead-.”

 

“only because he put it in danger in the first place.” sweet pea says loudly suddenly from beside them. cheryl looks to him with a scoff, nodding in agreement furiously as toni sighs and licks her lips before turning in cheryl's arms to face him.

 

“sweets-.”

 

“you can forgive him, toni, but i don’t. we almost lost her because of you! you can sit there and try to convince us that this was all for archie, but at the end of the day, you’re the serpent king! you’re supposed to look after us, not put us in danger!” sweet pea barks, his voice getting louder and louder as fangs purses his lips and rests a hand on his shoulder to calm him down. jughead looks at sweet pea in surprise before he's spluttering out a reply.

_god, he's **pathetic-**_

 

“i k-know, i didn’t-.”

 

“save your apologies, hobo. my girlfriend may forgive you but i never will. not after you also tried to hold over her your position as serpent king. toni told me everything, and i’ve never been more disgusted by someone in my entire life. my own father murdered my brother and that revolted me less than you trying to make her obey your orders because of that goddamn jacket you wear!” cheryl hisses, leaning in closer and practically ripping jughead’s hand away from toni’s in her rage. 

 

“you did what?” f.p says suddenly, looking at jughead in surprise as he pushes himself off the wall, and jughead looks at his father with wide eyes and a guilty expression as cheryl scoffs in disbelief.

 

of course he didn’t tell his father that part of the story…he'd do anything to make himself look innocent, that's all he and betty were good for. she _hates them,_ she hates them with everything in her-

 

“and you were untruthful about it. big surprise.” she says sarcastically, ignoring toni as she sighs and grips cheryl’s hand tightly, almost in reprimand for what she's saying.

 

“cheryl-.” toni starts, but cheryl doesn't let her get any further. she's done with this.

 

“no, toni! too long has he done things without consequences! sweet pea’s right, we put our faith, our trust, our _lives_ in his hands, and this is how he handles it? thrusting us into danger and using his position as king against us?” cheryl growls, looking at her girlfriend in disbelief that she’s even attempting to stop her from ripping him apart. she knows toni has a good heart, god, it's one of the many things about her girlfriend that she loves _unconditionally_ , but even this was too far. the boy almost got her killed and toni was willing to toss that fact to the side, but cheryl refuses to.

 

“that’s not how leadership works, jones!” sweet pea yells, standing up angrily with his fists clenched, and fangs does as well just in time to stop him, pushing the boy back as f.p grips jughead’s jacket to pull him off the coffee table and away from sweet pea carefully. the boy looks enraged, his eyes wide and filled with hatred, and cheryl knows sweet pea's temper can explode at the flip of a switch-

 

toni, sensing the same thing, jumps up suddenly like she's forgotten all about her injury, but it hits her all too quickly as she lets out a loud cry of pain, her hands clutching her bandaged wound.

 

“toni!” cheryl quickly rises in panic, gripping her girlfriend to steady her as toni blinks back tears and looks back and forth between jughead and sweet pea with clenched teeth. 

 

“alright, stop, that’s enough!” f.p yells, raising his hands to both boys to stop them from stepping closer to each other. cheryl feels toni sag against her, heavy pants escaping her, and cheryl’s eyes move to the beads of sweat forming on the pink haired serpent’s forehead. she curses under her breath before gripping toni’s hand in her own.

 

this was only making toni worse, why did she open her mouth? 

 

“toni, come on, let’s go get your pills-.”

 

“i’m fine, i don't need my stupid pills! stop treating me like i'm incapable, cheryl!” toni snaps very suddenly and _very, very_ loudly.

 

cheryl stares at her in shock, and so do sweet pea and fangs, surprised by this sudden outburst as cheryl’s heart begins thrumming in her ears for a different reason other than adrenaline now.

 

that can't have just happened, it can't have. no way, it didn't, she's hallucinating-

 

“i’m…i’m not, toni, you’re injured, i’m just-.” 

 

“i know, cher, but just…i’m fine, okay? when i need my pills, i’ll say something.” toni says softly, her expression changing in an instance to one of guilt and horror, regret shining in her eyes as she grips cheryl’s forearm tightly. cheryl purses her lips, but says nothing, still in complete shock over what’s just happened.

 

toni just yelled at her. never once has the pink haired serpent raised her voice at cheryl, knowing her past with penelope and clifford’s abusive tirades at her…and yet she just yelled at her.

 

_yeah, you've really done it now, cheryl, you've really pushed her away-_

 

jughead sighs and looks to his father after a few moments of awkward silence hangs heavy in the room.

 

“i’d never hold my position of power over someone. i didn’t mean to say that, it just…it slipped out before i could stop it-.”

 

“if it’s slipping out of your mouth, boy, it means the thought is somewhere in the back of your mind. when i gave you that jacket, it was because i thought you were ready to put this gang before yourself. clearly i was wrong.” f.p growls, glaring at jughead as he swallows thickly with wide eyes before he shakes his head furiously.

 

“d-dad, i-.”

 

"don’t, jughead. just don’t.” he says simply, raising his finger to silence his son before he exhales shakily. 

 

“the other serpents have been hounding my ass all week about stripping you of the serpent king crown. i spoke to thomas about it, and he’s not happy with you either, jughead. toni’s his granddaughter and you almost got her killed. but…he doesn’t think you should step down. many serpent kings before me and him have made the same mistake you have…and those serpents sometimes ended up dead.” f.p says hollowly.

 

cheryl feels her anger return and quickly replace the shock of toni yelling at her, because she agrees with those serpents, jughead _should_ be fucking stripped of his position as serpent king, but toni’s breath is becoming more ragged, and cheryl doesn’t want to do anything else to upset her, so she purses her lips and watches as f.p runs his fingers through his hair and closes his eyes, letting out a deep breath before he nods.

 

“give me a few days to talk to thomas about what to do. whatever we decide, jughead, you accept. i don’t want to hear a single word of protest come out of you about it, do you hear me, boy?” he says sternly. jughead clenches his jaw, but surprisingly, he nods his head stiffly in agreement with no hesitation. 

 

f.p nods before he looks to sweet pea, who glares at jughead before he looks to the former serpent king expectantly.

 

“as much as you wanna kick my son’s ass, i’m gonna ask you to respectfully hold back your anger. fighting amongst ourselves isn’t going to help anyone. toni said earlier that we can’t be divided, that right now, more than anything, our last law needs to be our most obeyed one. ‘in unity there is strength’. so that’s what we do. stay united, stay strong.” f.p says firmly, looking to the boys before his eyes land on toni and cheryl. 

 

cheryl keeps her venomous gaze on jughead as she nods once, and the boy cringes as he meets her eyes before quickly averting them, making cheryl almost clap her hands with glee. she wants him to squirm, wants him to _cower-_

 

“good. i’ll make the announcement now, keep your ass in this trailer, jughead. i’ll send betty and archie your way.” f.p sighs. jughead nods again, and fangs grips sweet pea and begins dragging him out of the trailer, the raven haired boy’s eyes still staring daggers at the serpent king before fangs gets him out of the front door. f.p looks at her and toni expectantly, but cheryl keeps her ground.

 

no. she's not leaving until she's finished saying what she has to say.

 

“f.p, can you take toni out to my purse so she can take her pills? i want a word.” cheryl says in a strangely calm voice, her eyes never leaving jughead, who clenches his jaw, eyes wide with fear, but acceptance as well, perhaps preparing himself for whatever cheryl is about to throw at him. toni lets out a sigh of frustration before she looks at cheryl with a pained expression.

 

“cheryl, just leave it, please-.”

 

“i’m not about to murder him, toni, i just want a word!” cheryl snaps angrily and somewhat smugly when she sees how toni winces before she sighs and lets f.p help her toward the front door.

 

_good, now she knows how it feels!_

 

toni throws a nervous glance back at them at the door, and f.p murmurs something into her ear before he exits the trailer with her and closes the door, leaving cheryl blossom alone in the snake pit with the serpent king.

 

but it’s jughead who is cowering in fear as cheryl steps closer to him, teeth bared and angered tears shining in her eyes.

 

“i don’t expect you to begin to understand what toni means to me, but the fact that you almost tore her away from my life means i can no longer see you as anything but a silly boy wearing a jacket too big for his shoulders to fit into.” cheryl hisses, relishing in the way jughead blinks rapidly to stop himself from crying as he steps back slowly. 

 

“ch-cheryl, i-.”

 

“don’t interrupt me. i feel no sympathy for you, jughead. i feel no care, no love, no worry for your wellbeing ...you are _dead_ to me, jughead jones, as dead to me as clifford and jason blossom are. and if your father and thomas topaz decide you can keep your crown, you can say goodbye to _this_ southside serpent.” cheryl whispers in a low voice, stepping even closer until her toes are almost touching jughead’s. 

 

the boy stares at her in shock, and cheryl licks her lips before she continues.

 

“i won’t wear this jacket on my shoulders proudly knowing you’re the one leading the charge. not when you're so _reckless_ with the lives your responsible for. just know your actions will have ripped me away from the only thing close to family i’ve ever had. you are _selfish,_ serpent king. more selfish than even i, with no thought as to how your actions affect others. perhaps now you’ll learn.” and with that, cheryl turns on her heel and heads for the door, blinking back her tears as jughead lets out a choked sob behind her.

 

she doesn't care.

 

she repeats it like a mantra in her head, praying that if she says it enough times, it will make it true.

 

\-------------------

 

toni _hates_ this.

 

she hates this with a goddamn passion.

 

archie had dropped them off back home after the announcement was made by f.p, most of the serpents satisfied with the decision to let f.p and thomas decide jughead’s fate, others simply asking for jughead to be replaced and be done with it. cheryl and toni had stayed a little longer, sticking by sweet pea and fangs's side before archie had emerged from the jones's trailer asking them if they were ready to leave. there haven't been any more fights or outbursts, thank god, but there’s been an awkward tension hanging between her and cheryl since toni snapped at her back in f.p’s trailer, and it’s sill present now, toni’s eyes watching as cheryl rubs lotion onto her arms and bare face at the vanity on the other side of the room.

 

she hadn't meant to raise her voice, not at all. it's just that everything was going to shit and sweet pea looked ready to swing at jughead's face, and all cheryl could think about was toni's pills? she knows cheryl was just worried about her, could see that she was in pain, but god, in that moment, toni was _scared_ and she lashed out in the worst way possible. she hasn't _stopped_ feeling guilty since it happened, her stomach turning and almost making her sick every time she thinks about it.

 

they haven’t spoken a single word since they came into cheryl’s room to prepare themselves for bed. toni managed to strip and get into her pajamas without any help from cheryl, but it’s cost her greatly. her side is aching with pain, and even though she took her pain meds only a couple of hours ago, she finds herself staring at the orange tube on the bedside table longingly before cheryl clears her throat and pulls her out of her stupor. 

 

cheryl stands from the vanity with a blank expression, not even her eyes betraying her emotions right now as she makes her way over to the bed where toni is resting on the right side under the covers, eyes following her girlfriend until she tucks herself under the covers and turns onto her side away from the pink haired girl.

 

“goodnight, t.t.” she says simply, not even bothering to look at her. toni sighs in frustration and sinks down onto the pillows, wincing as she adjusts herself until she’s comfortable.

 

she can’t let them got to bed like this, she just _can’t…_

 

“cheryl…” she croaks out, eyes on the ceiling as she hears cheryl sigh beside her before the bed is moving and she’s turning over to face her.

 

“you yelled at me, toni. you’ve never yelled at me like that before.” cheryl says firmly before toni can even think of what to say. toni purses her lips and turns onto her left side as well, wincing with the movement as she rests her right arm in front of her to avoid the wound on her side. 

 

“i know, cher, i’m so sorry…i was just scared that sweet pea was gonna hurt jughead and i got overwhelmed, but that isn’t an excuse. i just…i, fuck, i feel so horrible-.”

 

“would it have been such a bad thing, if sweet pea hit jughead?” cheryl interrupts firmly, toni watching her expression turn stony beneath the lamplight behind her. toni lets out a sigh and grips cheryl’s hand in her own tightly.

 

she knows cheryl has no love lost for jughead, and cheryl hasn't said a thing about what she said to jughead...she's scared the red head might have threatened him, she wouldn't exactly put it past her girlfriend to do something like that-

 

“cher, what did you say to him when i left the trailer?” toni asks hoarsely. cheryl simply shakes her head.

 

“that’s between me and him, toni. i can’t tell you.” she deadpans. toni sighs in frustration again and turns onto her back gingerly, wincing as she does as she shakes her head.

 

they tell each other everything, and now they were acting like five year olds and keeping secrets from each other, this _isn't_ what their relationship is-

 

“this is so stupid-.”

 

“stupid? you almost _died_ because of him, toni, and you’re still defending him, _that's_ the only stupid thing about all of this!” cheryl says angrily, sitting up suddenly and ripping the blankets off both their bodies as she runs her fingers through her hair in frustration. toni interlocks her fingers and rests them on her stomach, forcing herself to stay calm despite the anger rising in her.

 

“i’m not defending him, cheryl! but did you not hear a thing i said at grandpa’s trailer? if we start fighting amongst ourselves-.”

 

“no, toni! no, that’s the same excuse the serpents have used a hundred times before to brush off jughead’s idiocy! we can’t keep letting him get away with this stuff! he needs to face actions for his consequences!” cheryl says, her voice increasing in volume as toni stares at her incredulously before she slowly sits up as well.

 

“he is facing actions! f.p and thomas-.”

 

“are going to what? strip him of the crown? he should be kicked out of the serpents altogether!” cheryl hisses, rage shining in her eyes that toni’s never, ever seen before. toni stares at her in disbelief, unsure of where this anger inside her girlfriend has even come from.

 

she knows cheryl hasn't slept well the last week, and after everything that's happened...

 

“you’re emotional and you're not thinking straight, cher.” she says firmly, shaking her head as cheryl laughs derisively before pointing accusingly at toni with her index finger.

 

“oh, don’t you dare with that nonsense, toni topaz! don’t tell me i’m being too emotional about this when i spent four hours in the hospital waiting room with my heart in my shoes wondering if you were dead or not! don't tell me i'm not thinking straight when this whole week, all i've thought about is _you!_ ” cheryl shrieks, her voice cracking as tears begin to fall down her cheeks.

 

toni’s heart stops.

 

fuck. this was _not_ going to turn into a screaming match, toni refused to let this happen-

 

she licks her dry lips, regret hitting her like a tidal wave as she reaches a hand out to grip cheryl’s, an apology on the tip of her tongue even though she honestly doesn't know what to begin apologizing for, but the red haired girl rips it away from her touch with a sniff as she jumps out of the bed with a shake of her head.

 

“no, toni, you don’t get to b-bat your eyelashes and tell me you’re s-sorry! not this time! you promised me we would do serpent missions together because the thought of something going wrong and you not being there for me was something you couldn’t handle, and then you went and did the exact same thing! did you even think for a second about me when you agreed to go with jughead on this insane mission?!” cheryl cries, wringing her hands together as her whole body trembles from the adrenaline, and toni feels anger suddenly rush through her as she stares at her girlfriend in complete and utter shock.

 

is she serious? she can't possibly be, the whole fucking reason toni did this in the first place is because she felt like she owed archie for _saving cheryl's life-_

 

“are you fucking kidding me, cheryl? why do you think i agreed to go with him in the first place?! archie saved _your_ life-.”

 

“DON’T! don’t tell me you did this for _me_ because you didn’t, toni! you did it for yourself, and god, that fucking beanie wearing hobo!” cheryl screams, tears falling down her cheeks as her face turns red, a shuddering inhale from her echoing around the room. 

 

toni can barely breathe, her chest aching as she looks down at her hands in her lap, unable to even process what cheryl’s just said. did cheryl really think she was _that_ selfish? did cheryl think so lowly of her to think that she didn't spare a second of thought for her girlfriend, when the truth is, all toni had thought about the entire time was the red haired girl before her? when even on her goddamn death bed in what could have been her dying moments...she, toni topaz, was still thinking about the love of her life, about cheryl blossom? 

 

“i did it for archie, cheryl. i did it for archie and i did it for _you._ because you asked me to help him however i could.” she says in a low voice, refusing to raise it higher, because she won't yell at cheryl again, as much as this conversation is _pissing her off-_

 

cheryl whines in frustration and actually _stomps her foot_ like a petulant child as she wrings her hands again.

 

“that was before archie told us to leave it alone! something _you both_ should have respected!” cheryl says angrily. toni glares up at her, her whole body shaking as she pushes herself up off the bed with a wince.

 

“i know that! did you not hear me fucking say that?" toni growls, her hands gripping the dresser for support as cheryl grips her hair and lets out a frustrated growl of her own.

 

"you're not hearing what i'm saying, toni, this isn't about archie, this is about _you!_ about you doing something that put your life at risk-."

 

"for fuck's sake, cheryl, i didn't know the ghoulies were going to fucking be there! god, do you think i'm psychic or something!? do you think i saw penny stabbing me in the crystal ball that's supposed to be my future!?" oh god, her voice is getting louder, she needs to reign it in, she can't, she can't yell again-

 

"YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TAKE ME WITH YOU! NO MATTER WHAT, YOU FALL, I FALL! YOU BROKE YOUR PROMISE AND YOU FUCKING _LIED_ TO ME, TONI!" cheryl screams, her cheeks flushed and tears falling down them as she sobs, and that's all it takes.

 

the dam bursts, and toni feels the heat coming off her body as she bangs a fist down on top of the dresser she's gripping.

 

"I TOLD YOU I'M SORRY! I CAN APOLOGIZE UNTIL THERE'S NO AIR IN MY FUCKING LUNGS AND IT STILL WON'T BE ENOUGH FOR YOU, WILL IT?! FUCK, CHERYL, WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!" toni roars, unable to contain herself anymore, her whole body shaking and her throat aching.

 

she’s backed in a corner and she doesn’t react well to that whatsoever, and her heart is pounding so fucking fast right now, out of anger and regret and guilt at the way cheryl flinches and almost cowers in on herself.

 

fuck. fuck, fuck _fuck_ , no she didn't mean to yell, she didn't-

 

cheryl sniffs before she holds her head high, her whole body trembling as she walks around the bed until she’s standing in front of toni, her hands gripping the pink haired serpent's face in a vicelike grip.

 

“i want you to realize what you did, toni! i want you to acknowledge my feelings, i want you to see that you broke your promise to me, that you _hurt_ me by leaving without me! i want you to see that you could’ve died and left m-me all alone h-here all b-by myself when i n-need you, god...i _need_ you, toni! don't you understand that? don't you understand how m-much i need you?!” cheryl whimpers, choked sobs escaping her chest as toni looks up at her with her own tears falling.

 

what was happening right now, god...

 

“and what about what i want? what about what i’m f-feeling, cher?” toni croaks out, watching as cheryl’s face contorts in pain before she licks her lips, tears getting caught in the action.

 

“toni...you know i always c-care about what you w-want, but you’re always telling me that the n-number one p-priority in my life should be m-myself, and i’m finally doing it for once. i’m putting myself first, and i’m saying that i can’t stay silent anymore, i can’t pretend everything’s okay when what you did hurt me so much. i'm in _pain_ , toni...i'm h-hurting, and i can't ignore it anymore.” cheryl whispers back. 

 

fuck...fuck, of _course_ she was in pain, they both fucking were...how could toni even think that they'd be okay after she almost _died?_ how could she think for a second that they could just go back to how things were when cheryl could've easily come home that night to an empty bed with toni's scent still lingering on the pillow? 

 

"what if our r-roles were reversed, toni? what if i w-went off to some s-serpent mission by myself and i l-lied to you about it and almost d-died in the process?" cheryl says suddenly, her voice rough, and toni feels her heart fucking _break._

 

cheryl, cold and dead on top of a metal table, _toni_ coming home to an empty bed with cheryl's scent still lingering on the pillow...

 

"cher...don't make me think of that, don't..." toni trails off, unable to finish her sentence as cheryl hiccups and nods once.

 

"you can't even bear the thought, toni...i had to _live_ through it." cheryl whispers. 

 

toni clenches her jaw, a whimper escaping her, her eyes closing as she relishes in the feeling of cheryl’s fingers against her skin before her girlfriend pulls away from her with a loud sniff. toni bites back a whimper at the loss and opens her eyes, looks up at cheryl to see her eyes are already bloodshot and puffy, her cheeks and nose red as well as she holds her head high.

 

and even though it _hurts_ , somewhere deep inside her, toni feels proud. she’s proud that cheryl’s putting herself first…

 

but god, that doesn’t make it hurt any less that she was using it against _toni_ of all people…

 

_we can't do this. we can't do this anymore, we're ripping each other apart..._

 

there’s only one thing to really do, and toni doesn’t want to do it, not one bit, and she can already feel her fucking heart _breaking_ , the words refusing to form and push out of her mouth, but she knows it’s for the best.

 

_oh god...oh god, how did this happen, how did it come to this?_

 

“maybe…m-maybe we should spend a few days apart, cher. we’ve been stuck to each other like glue for the last week with our emotions all over the place, it’s…it’s just gonna drive us apart, and i don’t want that…i really don't fucking want that.”

 

cheryl’s whole body sags in defeat, an almost choked out sob escaping her before she falls down onto the bed with her head in her hands. 

 

toni’s heart breaks at the sound of her crying, and toni collapses down beside her, ignoring the pain that rips into her side as she wraps her arms around her girlfriend and pulls her close with thick tears falling down her own face.

 

“cher, d-don’t…please, b-baby, i’m not b-breaking up with you-.” toni manages to whimper out before cheryl grips her shirt tightly between her fingers.

 

“i k-know, t-toni, i j-just…h-how d-did w-we even g-get here?!” cheryl chokes out through her loud tears, her nails digging into toni’s forearm as she runs her fingers through her girlfriend’s red hair.

 

“i d-don’t know, cher…i love you, i l-love you s-so much, and i know you know that. but we’re b-both exhausted and emotional right now and i d-don’t want us to say something we don’t m-mean in the heat of the moment, okay? we need to do this.” toni whispers thickly. cheryl only cries harder, gripping onto toni tightly before she nods against her slowly, and toni presses kiss after kiss to her hair, breathing in the scent of her shampoo, strawberries and roses and tries to convince herself that this is a good idea as she holds cheryl closer just a little longer. 

 

“i love you…” toni whispers into her ear. cheryl hiccups as she pulls away and grips toni’s face in her hands, crying against her as she kisses her deeply. toni tastes the mixture of tears and chapstick on her tongue as she wraps a hand around the back of cheryl’s neck to pull her closer, not wanting for a single second to let her go…

 

_just a few days, toni. just a few days…you can do this. you both need this…_

 

she knows this will be good for them. they've been stuck at the hip to each other since they started dating and it's never been an issue, but for something this big to happen and for them to still be around each other _all the time..._ neither of them acknowledging how they felt and trying to push it down to try and stay happy...

 

it wasn't healthy. for them to be yelling at each other, that was the ultimate low point as far as toni was concerned. she wasn't going to let them implode like this...

 

“wh-where will you s-stay?” cheryl breathes against her, resting her forehead on toni’s as she sighs shakily against her.

 

“i’ll probably go stay with grandpa for a few days…keep an eye on him.” toni murmurs. cheryl whimpers as she swallows thickly and nods against her.

 

“who’s g-going to l-look after you?” she whispers, her fingers curling into the top of toni's shirt to pull her impossibly closer. toni smiles shakily, her bottom lip trembling as she presses a kiss to cheryl’s forehead.

 

“i am, cher. i’ve been through enough beatings by uncle jake to know how to look after myself when i’m injured. i’m gonna be fine…and so are you, okay? _we’re_ gonna be okay…we’re gonna use these days to think about how we feel and then we’re gonna talk about it properly instead of yelling at each other like this. it isn't healthy, cher, and i _refuse_ to even entertain the idea of our relationship being an unhealthy one. we've both suffered enough of those in our lives, don't you think?” cheryl nods against her again with a low whine, and toni swallows the lump in her throat and presses another kiss to her lips, slow and deliberate, cherishing the taste of her lips every millisecond that they're against her own...

 

_this isn't the last time, toni, it's not...this is going to be good for you both..._

 

cheryl pulls away with a sniff as toni slowly stands, gasping slightly at the pain in her side that she quickly turns into a cough to hide from cheryl, not wanting to worry her girlfriend even more. cheryl purses her lips as toni grabs her duffel bag in the corner of the room, her heart breaking as she packs it with some clothes and wills herself not to break down crying.

 

_this is a good thing...it's a good thing, they need this..._

 

cheryl eventually stands and grabs toni's phone and her bottle of pills, packing them into the bag as well with trembling fingers. toni looks at her face, the way it trembles and shakes as tears fall down her cheeks, and she tucks a finger under cheryl's chin to raise her head before she cradles it and kisses her, unable to stop herself. cheryl whines against her and pulls her close, tongue sliding against toni's before she pulls away and brushes toni's hair back from her face, eyes taking in almost every inch of it fondly.

 

"you can't ride your bike, t.t." she croaks out.

 

"i'll message sweets and ask him to pick me up." toni mumbles. she pulls her phone out and does exactly that, cheryl watching her breathlessly, and sweet pea replies almost instantly, simply sending three letters saying he's on his way. cheryl swallows loudly as she looks down at his reply with a smile, her throat bobbing as she nods once and closes her eyes.

 

"just a few days..." she whispers. toni bites back a sob and wraps her arms around cheryl's waist, burying her face into her chest and inhaling her scent as cheryl hugs her back just as tightly. they stay still for a long time, simply wrapped in each other's embrace, relishing in this moment alone together, and so much time has passed that toni hears the sound of sweet pea's truck pulling up to the front of thistlehouse through the open window. 

 

she doesn't want to go, she doesn't, she can't do this-

 

_you have to! she needs space and so do you!_

 

toni leans up to press a kiss to cheryl's neck before she pulls away.

 

"i'm a text message away, cher. always, if anything comes up..."

 

"i know, t.t. i'm a text message away, too. i..." she trails off, twisting her fingers before she lets out a shaky breath, her voice at least five octaves higher when she speaks again.

 

"i d-don't want us to do this, but you're r-right...m-maybe a few days apart f-from each other will b-be good for us." cheryl manages to get out. toni brushes her tears away and leans up, nuzzling her nose against cheryl's before kissing the corner of her mouth.

 

"i love you." she whispers.

 

"i l-love you." cheryl whispers back. toni smiles and brushes her thumb over cheryl's tear stained cheek before she sighs and goes to carry the duffel bag over her shoulder, but cheryl grips it and shakes her head.

 

"i'll walk you out." she says hoarsely. toni licks her lips and nods once as she makes her way to the stairs, and cheryl helps her down one step at a time, toni's heart aching with sadness and guilt and a million other fucking things right now-

 

they were going to be okay. it was just a few days.

 

_we're going to be okay, we're going to be okay, we're going to be okay..._

 

cheryl carries the bag all the way outside to sweet pea's truck, the raven haired boy watching them both in complete and utter shock and confusion as cheryl opens the passenger door without a word and rests the duffel bag in the foothold. she holds the door open for toni, who grips the top of it and takes a deep breath in before she pulls herself up into the seat. cheryl closes the door after her, smiling sadly with a trembling bottom lip, and toni reaches her hand out of the open window, smiling back as cheryl grips it tightly.

 

"no breakdowns, cher. we're gonna be okay, i believe that. this is good for us..." toni repeats, more to herself than cheryl for reassurance, and cheryl squeezes her hand before she swallows thickly and nods.

 

"this is good for us..." she echoes with a whisper as she closes her eyes. toni bites back a whimper as she looks up at the house that has been her home for over three months now before she turns to sweet pea and nods.

 

"take us to the lakeside, sweets. i'm staying with my grandpa for a few nights." toni whispers. sweet pea doesn't say a word, simply clears his throat and puts the car into drive as toni reluctantly pulls her hand out of cheryl's hold. sweet pea takes off slowly, as if he's expecting toni to jump out of the car and run into cheryl's arms, and god, she _wants_ to, but she bites down on her cheek to stop herself as she watches cheryl slowly make her way back inside the house, the front door closing behind her...

 

she can almost _see_ cheryl collapsing against it and breaking down into tears, and the fact that she's not there right now to comfort her...

 

_fuck, she can't do this, she can't, she can't-_

 

"tiny...what happened?" sweet pea asks softly.

 

toni doesn't respond.

 

she just curls her knees up to her chest and starts crying loudly, her forehead smacking down onto her knees over and over again in anguish as she digs her nails into her ankles with short, shuddering gasps of air. 

 

_just a few days...it's just a few days..._

 

just a few days has never looked so harrowing and torturous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't murder me pls, black friday already did it for you *sigh*


	11. what makes us human

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this week's riverdale had one second of cheryl and no toni, lol, so here, i know choni are fighting in this fic right now, but at least it's still some FUCKING CHONI. #chonideservesbetter
> 
> this is super angsty and emotional, but we're moving to a solution because my girls are smart little beans who know how to sort their shit out and don't give up on each other. i won't lie, the next chapter is gonna be mostly filler, but the chapter after that is more big shit going down, so buckle in kiddos.
> 
> for those of you who are following my collar fic, i will try my absolute BEST to upload before the end of the week, but i'm super busy tomorrow and all weekend with work, so don't kill me if i can't upload it in time :( i'm sorry!
> 
> let me know what you think as always! i heard i'm apparently big news on twitter with the choni fandom, which is uh, fucking awesome, so much love to you guys for loving my fics! <3
> 
> tw for mentions of abuse

“cheryl…you need to eat something.” 

 

lisa’s voice is soft, filled with sadness and worry as she stares at the red haired blossom girl before her with nothing but concern, watching as she simply smiles and shakes her head once.

 

“i’m not that hungry, lisa. thank you…” her voice is small, nothing like how it usually is, loud and confident and sarcastic at times, the head bitch in charge attitude that most people either admired, envied or feared. 

 

it’s gone, replaced with this timid, grief filled tone that cheryl _hates_ herself for, but she can’t do anything to stop it because what’s the point? it’s exactly how she feels.

 

four days. four days have passed now since that night toni left, and she hasn’t seen the pink haired serpent once. toni was still excused from school, as she was supposed to be spending the next two weeks resting, so cheryl hasn't even had a chance to see her in the hallways, the sight of her pink hair missing making her heart clench every single time. 

 

she’s trying to honor toni’s wishes, trying to take these days to think about how she feels and truly process everything that’s happened since toni was stabbed, but fuck, it’s _hard._

 

it’s hard to think about anything other than how much she fucking _misses her._

 

josie and veronica have slept over every night since, cheryl feeling even more guilty for the fact that she was taking veronica away from archie, whose trial was once again approaching, and no matter how many times veronica assured her that there was no place else she’d rather be, cheryl still felt nothing but shame. 

 

this shouldn’t be affecting her so much. it’s not like her and toni broke up, they were just taking a few days apart after being inseparable for so long, but she can’t stop the sick feeling that builds in her stomach every time she thinks about their fight. 

 

they yelled at each other. what if it had gotten physical? 

 

_no, there’s no way that would ever happen, cheryl, stop thinking that._

 

but she _can’t._ after years of abuse from her mother and father, it’s all cheryl knows. every fight ends with a slap to the face or a severe beating, and the truth is, she’d honestly rather take a beating from toni than suffer through the pain of being separated from her right now.

 

_you can’t think like that, please don’t think like that, cheryl, come on…_

 

it’s not healthy. it’s not healthy at all. if toni knew that this is what she was thinking, she has no doubt that the girl would break down into tears and hysteria over it. toni _loves her_ , she knows that, and cheryl hates herself for seriously wanting to be physically harmed by her girlfriend rather than be away from her for just a few days. it’s a sick, sick thought, but when it’s all you’ve known growing up and your emotions are so all over the place, and god…god, she’s just so confused and lost without toni here…

 

“cheryl, lisa’s right, you haven’t eaten properly in days…” josie says softly, tucking her hair back from her face and behind her ear affectionately. cheryl swallows the lump in her throat, her eyes stinging painfully with the amount of tears she’s cried over the last four days as more well up, and she gingerly reaches over for a piece of toast to munch on just to keep everyone at the table happy.

 

veronica sighs as she sips her orange juice, watching the red haired girl over her cup with concern as josie rubs calming circles onto her back. josie and veronica have been angels sent straight from heaven, making breakfast for everyone this morning and only waking cheryl once everything was done…cheryl doesn’t even know when she had crashed out, but she’s quite sure the sun had been rising, her room growing lighter by the time her wet eyes had finally closed and thrown her into a restless sleep. it’s been the same routine for the last four nights…

 

cheryl wants nothing more than to message toni, to ask her how she’s holding up, but she knows texting her is just going to ruin the purpose of this whole thing, and she knows that’s the reason why toni hasn’t messaged her, either. how could they take the time to think if they were constantly sending messages back and forth to each other? 

 

but she’s so _worried about her._ was she okay? was her wound hurting her? was she doing okay looking after herself? was this all taking too much of a toll on her? questions upon questions upon questions that eat her up inside so much, she can barely function.

 

_why are we doing this to ourselves? i need to message her, i **need** to see her-_

 

“cheryl, i know what you’re thinking, i can see it in your eyes. she needs space and so do you. all you’ve done is worry about her the last few days, you haven’t taken the time to do what you both need to do.” josie says with a sigh, watching her sternly as she drops the piece of toast back onto her plate after taking one bite. cheryl chews down on her trembling bottom lip as she looks up at josie in despair.

 

“i just need to know if sh-she’s okay, josie…she’s hurt, what if something happens to her-.”

 

“how about this? i’ll message her right now and ask her how she’s doing _physically._ that way you can have some peace of mind so you can actually focus on acknowledging how you feel?” veronica says, reaching over to take her hand with a smile. cheryl looks up at her eagerly before she nods once.

 

“yes, please…i just need to know that she’s at least looking after herself.” cheryl breathes. god, even a one word response will make her happy right now…

 

veronica purses her lips before she grabs her phone on the table, sighing as she speaks aloud what she’s typing.

 

“‘hey toni, i just wanted to check in on you, how’s your kidney holding up?’ there, is that okay?” veronica says, looking up at cheryl for confirmation as her finger hovers over the send button. cheryl hesitates before she nods once.

 

it’s short and concise and she wants it to go into detail but she knows it’s best to leave it at that. she licks her lips and sinks back into her seat with a shaky sigh as nana rose suddenly speaks up.

 

“lisa, dear…do you think you could take me to the living room? i think these girls need some privacy, and i’d like to watch my shows.” she croaks out with a smile to cheryl. cheryl feels nothing but guilt flood her at the sight.

 

her poor nana…having to listen to cheryl cry and wail for the last four days has probably been anything but easy on her, and she was facing her own goddamn problems with her sundowner’s syndrome getting worse and worse every day… 

 

_you’re selfish, cheryl…you’re so fucking selfish…_

 

“nana rose, i’m…i’m so sorry, you must be so sick of all of this-.”

 

“oh, don’t be silly, my darling girl…your grandfather and i used to fight all the time, and it never bothered me a single bit. do you know how good it is, to see such passion in your eyes, to see you fighting for you and antoinette to be together? your love for her makes me feel young again, cheryl…i just hope you both can resolve your issues and reunite soon…it hurts me to see you in such pain.” she says hoarsely, holding her hand out for cheryl to take, which she does, before the elder blossom gives it a gentle squeeze, her granddaughter biting back a whimper of anguish at her words.

 

“i know…i’m doing everything i can, nana…” nana rose frowns before she raises an eyebrow at her.

 

“mmm, no you’re not. stop being upset about the situation and focus on how you can fix it, dear girl. you’re stronger than this, you and i both know that.” she says, a twinkle in her eyes as she smiles softly. cheryl gives her a trembling one back before lisa stands and moves to stand behind nana rose’s wheelchair.

 

“come on, rose, let’s go…” lisa gives cheryl a smile before she wheels nana rose to the living room, leaving josie, veronica and cheryl alone at the breakfast table.

 

_“you’re stronger than this, you and i both know that.”_

 

cheryl licks her lips, tasting salty tears as he closes her eyes and exhales shakily before looks over at the raven haired girl eagerly.

 

“anything?” 

 

“it’s been less than a minute, cheryl-.” veronica’s eyes widen as her phone buzzes, and she chuckles and looks down at it as cheryl’s heart pounds against her chest erratically.

 

“‘tell cheryl i’m fine and to stop worrying about me like i know she is. i want her to focus on herself. tell her i love her and i miss her more than anything.’” veronica reads with a fond smile on her face as she looks up at cheryl, who sinks back into her seat and presses the heel of her palms into her eyes with a whine.

 

“see, girl? she’s okay, physically at least. now are you gonna finally talk to us about how you’re feeling so we can help you?” 

 

cheryl winces at josie’s words, feeling a little silly for spending the last four days doing nothing but crying in both their laps in anguish. she told them what happened, but she hasn’t taken the time to do what toni asked her to do, and all it’s done is prolong their absence from each other.

 

nana rose was right, she needs to stop grieving and focus on the solution that’s been staring her right in the face. 

 

“i just…i d-don’t even know how i’m feeling, josie. i’m so m-mad at jughead because this whole thing is his fault. but i’m also mad at toni for leaving me behind when she promised we’d do serpent missions together, and i’m also so…so s-scared of something like this h-happening again. i can’t lose her, josie, you d-don’t understand how m-much she m-means to me…” cheryl manages to choke out, her knees drawing up to her chest as she hugs them to her body and rests her wobbling chin on top of her knees. 

 

“i know, cheryl. i can see how much you love her and how much she loves you, we all can.” josie whispers, wrapping an arm around cheryl as she rests her head on cheryl’s shoulder, and veronica sighs and draws her chair around the table so she’s sitting beside cheryl as well.

 

“you and toni have something that’s so special, cheryl. and i totally understand why you’re angry. you think i wasn’t upset at archie for getting himself involved with my father’s business? you think i wasn’t mad at him for putting himself into this situation just to impress my father? i understand why you’re upset, and you have every right to be. but toni didn’t do this to personally hurt you and you know that…she couldn’t have seen the attack coming, do you think she would’ve done this if she had?” veronica sighs, resting her head on cheryl’s other shoulder as she rubs her back gently. cheryl swallows the lump in her throat and lets her tears fall as she lets out a shaky breath and nods.

 

“i k-know…but she broke her promise, v. she broke her promise to me, and she _lied_ to me. she told me she was going to be staying with her grandfather for the night, and i stayed home, completely oblivious that her life was in danger. she’s never lied to me before, and she lied for _jughead_ of all people…” cheryl digs her nails into her shin to contain her anger at the serpent king as josie sighs loudly.

 

“cheryl, you know better than anyone how tight the serpents are. you’re a family, toni sees jughead as a brother, of course she was going to help him-.”

 

“not at the expense of lying to m-me, josie!” cheryl cries, gritting her teeth together and trying to calm herself as josie sighs.

 

“and if she hadn’t lied? if you had gone with her and something had happened to you instead? do you think toni would’ve been able to live with herself if it had been you who got stabbed, cheryl? that girl loves you so much, and you know she’d never do anything to intentionally hurt you. can you imagine the pain she would’ve been in if you got hurt because of her?” veronica says firmly. 

 

cheryl had asked her that before she left…had asked how toni would feel if their roles were reversed…

 

_“cher…don’t make me think of that, don’t…”_

 

cheryl nods and turns to look at veronica with a trembling bottom lip.

 

“i kn-know that, v…i love h-her…i’d never do anything to h-hurt her, either.” she whispers brokenly. veronica smiles and rakes her fingers through cheryl’s hair tenderly.

 

“you’re both hurting each other right now.” she whispers. cheryl whines and rests her forehead onto her knees, both girls sighing before veronica continues brushing her hair away from her face. 

 

“i think you’re both just in shock over the fact that toni almost died. and i wouldn’t expect anything less. but the fact is, she’s _alive_ , cheryl. she made it, she fought so hard to make it back to _you…_ don’t let this tear you guys apart. you should be spending every second cherishing the moments you do have together…” veronica says, tears welling in her eyes, and cheryl has no doubt she’s thinking about archie as she grips veronica’s hand tightly and squeezes it gently, turning her head to the side to face her guiltily. 

 

“i’m sorry, veronica-.”

 

“nope, no, we’re not talking about me, okay? we’re talking about you.” veronica says sternly with a shake of her head. cheryl sighs and closes her eyes, turning her head back as she licks her lips and processes josie and veronica’s words.

 

she knows everything they’re saying is true…there’s nothing she can do to change what happened in the past, and toni had apologized profusely for what she’d done, so why was cheryl still so mad?

 

_maybe you’re not mad, cheryl…maybe you’re not mad at all. you almost lost toni, you almost lost the only good thing that’s ever happened in your life. maybe you’re not mad, cheryl. maybe you’re just **scared.**_

 

the revelation hits her very suddenly, hitting her heart like a freight train as she inhales sharply and looks up before biting down on her bottom lip and nodding as she closes her eyes.

 

“i don’t think i’m mad about it…i think i’m just so _scared._ i lost jason and it felt like my heart would never heal…and then finding out my father was the one to take him from me, it just ripped away any hope i ever had of being happy ever again. but then toni…” cheryl trails off with a high pitched whine, shaking her head as tears fall down her cheeks, and she closes her eyes and thinks of pink hair and full lips, of soft, loving chocolate brown eyes and how toni holds her close every time she’s upset…

 

_i almost lost her…and the longer we stay apart the more i risk losing her forever…_

 

“she came into my life and it’s like she obliterated every inch of darkness that ever filled me. she smiles and i feel like my heart stops…she tells me she loves me and i find myself wondering if i’ll ever feel an ounce of sadness in my life again, because it doesn’t seem possible with her nearby. having that threatened…thinking about someone like _her_ not being alive anymore…not being in _my life_ anymore…it scares me so much, and it came so c-close to happening that every time i think ab-about it, i feel like i c-can’t _breathe._ she makes me so happy, the fact that i almost l-lost her-.” cheryl can’t contain it anymore, her chest heaving with sobs as tries to breathe, and josie and veronica immediately move in closer, rubbing circles into her back and whispering words of comfort as they brush her hair back from her neck and face.

 

“shh, just breathe, cheryl…” veronica whispers softly.

 

“i’m s-sorry-.”

 

“don’t apologize, just breathe, okay? let it out…” 

 

it hurts. god, does it hurt, it hurts more than jason’s death, more than her father’s, more than any punch or slap or kick her mother ever laid on her, heart squeezing and body shaking with each intake of breath…

 

cheryl doesn’t even know how long she cries for, panic building inside her at the thought of toni no longer being in her life, and she feels so stupid, so _fucking_ stupid for being mad about something that toni couldn’t control. this wasn’t her fault and god…god, it wasn’t even jughead’s, either. they didn’t _know…_ they didn’t know this was going to happen, how could anyone have seen it coming? and yes, they shouldn’t have lied but fuck…

 

they’re just kids. they’re just kids stumbling through life blindly, they make mistakes and they fuck up, god knows cheryl has, so many _fucking times…_

 

toni’s _alive._ and cheryl doesn’t want to spend a single second apart from her any longer. she knows she has a right to be mad, but how can she be mad at someone who brought her so much joy? how could she be mad at the girl when the thought of losing her brought cheryl to such a low point like this? 

 

how could she be mad at a girl who couldn’t even bear the thought of leaving cheryl behind? god, even on her deathbed, toni told her she was still thinking about _her…_

 

_she made a mistake, cheryl…and god knows she’s probably gonna make a lot more, you should be helping her grow from her mistakes, not tearing her down because of them…_

 

that’s not what their relationship is. their relationship was nothing but light, and love, and strength and happiness…

 

they both fucked up. they’ve both fucked up here so badly, but she can fix it… _they_ can fix it…

 

cheryl sniffs back her tears, lets out only the softest whimper before she focuses on taking in deep, shuddering breaths. she grips josie’s hand, leans her head against veronica’s shoulder and waits until her heart stops beating erratically before she speaks.

 

“t-toni told me…sh-she told me that when she got s-stabbed, the first thing she thought about was m-me…that before they wheeled her into s-surgery she k-kept asking for me. she said she was s-so s-scared to die, because she d-didn’t want to leave m-me behind…can you imagine th-that? she was _dying_ and all she c-could think about was h-how it would h-hurt me…” cheryl says shakily, her voice pitched with emotion as she closes her eyes and lets her tears fall. veronica rests her forehead against the side of cheryl’s head gently.

 

“god, you two are the very definition of ‘love’. i dream of having something like that with archie, but i don’t think anyone can touch what you two have.” she says with a chuckle. cheryl whines softly, squeezing veronica’s hand as josie chuckles beside her.

 

“amen to that.” she whispers. cheryl smiles at the girl before she sniffs back her tears and squeezes both their hands with a nod.

 

she’s never had friends like this before in her entire life…she was always so bitchy, especially to veronica, but now….now veronica was here, comforting her and she and josie were closer than ever before, and it was all because of how much she’s _changed_ because of toni…that selfless, beautiful, amazing girl…

 

“thank you, girls…i don’t think i would’ve survived these last few days without you.” she croaks out. veronica smiles and presses a kiss to her hair as josie leans in to press a kiss to her temple at the same time.

 

“we _love_ you, cheryl, you know that. we’d do anything to help you, especially after you’ve done so much for us both.” veronica says softly.

 

“and we love toni, too. seeing you two fight like this…we see how happy toni makes you, and how happy you make her. if you think we were gonna just sit on the sidelines and let you two implode, you’re dead wrong.” josie says with a chuckle. 

 

“you’ve changed so much thanks to her, cheryl. you’ve become this beautiful, selfless woman. we’d rather die than watch you lose that.” veronica says with a smile. cheryl hiccups as she smiles back, and she licks her lips and wipes away her tears before she sits up and finally lets her shaking legs settle back down onto the ground. 

 

“i need to talk to her…i need to fix things.” she whispers, reaching for her phone before veronica suddenly grips her wrist to stop her with a wince.

 

“she might not be ready yet, cheryl. let her message you first, okay? you know she will when she’s ready, she’s not doing this to spite you, she’s doing this so she can heal as well.” she says softly. cheryl hesitates, staring down at her phone longingly.

 

she misses her so much…but she knows that toni would never, ever just ignore her, would never spite her or do her wrong by not messaging her unless it was for a good reason.

 

_veronica’s right…if she’s not ready, you can’t force her to be. just be patient, cheryl…let her come to you when she’s ready._

 

“you’re right, v. i’ll wait…forever if i have to.”

 

\----------------------

 

toni sighs as she presses send and watches it show up in a blue bubble on her phone, tears welling in her eyes as she looks over veronica’s message once more.

 

she knows veronica and josie are with cheryl right now, knows this is cheryl talking and not just the raven haired girl…cheryl was probably so worried about her, but toni knows if she messages her, she won’t be able to stop herself from demanding sweet pea to take her back to thistlehouse. 

 

it hurts. god, does it fucking _hurt_ to know that cheryl was in pain, but was still thinking about her wellbeing. that girl was nothing but pure _good_ , and fuck, toni hasn’t spent a single second since she left thistlehouse four days ago not missing her.

 

she’s barely slept, crying into her pillow every night without the familiar weight of cheryl blossom by her side, and the pain in her side has only gotten worse because of it. she feels like complete and utter shit, and she hasn’t spent a single moment doing what she’s supposed to be doing. she’s supposed to be sorting out her feelings, supposed to be focusing on herself and how she feels, coming to terms with the fact that she almost fucking _died_ , but it’s so fucking hard to do that when all she can think about is either cheryl or the pain that’s constantly ripping through her kidney.

 

she’s starting to wonder if the surgery was a success at all, because every second for the last four days, she’s felt like she’s just being stabbed over and over again, and thomas has told her she should go back to the hospital to have doctor connors check on her, but toni doesn’t see a point. she has a bit of knowledge on the human body after the amount of wounds she’s had to stitch from ghoulie beatdowns, it doesn’t look like the wound’s infected at all…besides, she doesn’t want to worry cheryl even more by telling her she had to go back to the hospital in the days they’d spent apart… 

 

besides, she has a feeling that the reason why the pain is so immense is because she’s not following the doctor’s orders. she’s not resting like she’s supposed to be, hasn’t slept a wink because of the emotional and physical pain she’s in…that’s why it hurts, it’s not because of any infections…

 

she reaches into her pocket with trembling hands, trying to remember the last time she took her pain pills, but she can’t focus at all, so she takes two out and pops them into her mouth, swallowing them dryly with a whimper as she wipes away her tears and slowly pushes herself up off the white plastic chair she’s sitting on with a wince. 

 

she’s running low again and she’s only got one prescription slip left, she needs to start spacing her dosages out…

 

“tiny!” she looks up as sweet pea and fangs approach her from across the lakeside, the both of them noticing the way her legs wobble as they rush over to grip her arms to help her up. she collapses into fangs’s side with a sharp gasp, and the boy looks down at her in surprise. 

 

“hey, you alright? you don’t look so hot, toni.” fangs asks with worry. toni grits her teeth and blinks the sweat out of her eyes as she nods.

 

“yeah, i’m fine.” she grumbles, clutching his forearm as she stands up straight with a deep exhale. her side throbs achingly, and sweet pea frowns before he lets out a deep sigh and clutches her shoulder.

 

“how long are you gonna let this keep going on for, toni? you _miss_ her, and you’re struggling without her.” he says softly, gripping the back of her neck to keep her upright. toni bites down on her trembling bottom lip and shakes her head.

 

“we need this. we were _yelling_ at each other, sweet pea. that’s not what our relationship’s about.” toni says firmly.

 

“but you’re torturing yourself, tiny, look at you! you look like you haven’t slept in days.” fangs says with a frown and a sigh. toni ignores him and shrugs. 

 

they don’t get it…they don’t understand that toni was willing to go through all the pain in the world for that girl. they don’t understand that nothing else matters to her, that the only thing that does is cheryl and her wellbeing…

 

“it doesn’t matter. she’s the only thing that does.” toni sighs as she grips the railing and makes her way up the steps to her grandfather’s trailer. her whole body feels hot, her clothes clinging to her skin with sweat, and sweet pea and fangs trail behind her slowly before sweet pea speaks up again.

 

“and do you think cheryl would be okay with you doing this to yourself? those bags under your eyes aren’t as chanel as you think, tiny, and we can see how much pain you’re in-.” 

 

“i’m fine!” toni spits out, anger flooding her over their incessant questions as she pushes the door open and limps her way inside. 

 

why can’t they just leave her alone? fuck, those pills aren’t doing _shit._ fuck it, she can just up her dosage and deal with the problem of her prescription later-

 

“tiny, come on, we’re just trying to help you-.” sweet pea starts, but toni growls under her breath, her whole body shaking with anger and just utter _weakness_ as she turns to face them.

 

“i don’t need help, guys! i said i’m fine!” toni barks, glaring back at them before she settles down onto the couch slowly, but sweet pea and fangs both cross their arms over their chest and exchange glances before sweet pea scoffs.

 

“yeah, that’s how we _know_ you’re not. you’ve never pushed us away like this before. so stop being stupid and _talk to us._ we’re your brothers, toni, maybe not by blood, but through thick and thin. so you can get pissed at us all you want, we aren’t going anywhere.” he says firmly, sitting down on the coffee table and leaning close to her as fangs leans against the wall with a sigh.

 

sweet pea’s eyes meet toni’s, and for some weird reason…god, for some weird reason, toni suddenly sees the eleven year old boy she grew up with instead of the sixteen year old boy before her.

 

she sees the eleven year old boy who picked her up and threw her over his shoulder when she fell down the rocks at sweet water river and twisted her ankle. she sees the boy who grabbed her and cheryl and hid them behind a motorcycle to cut their binds in the middle of a full blown war with the ghoulies. she sees a boy who took the fall for her to stop her from getting arrested again three months after she was released from juvie, his hands getting slapped into handcuffs as he smiled at her and told her it was okay…

 

she sees her _best friend._

 

and before she can help it, tears spring to her eyes before she looks to fangs…the boy who beat nick st. clair within an inch of his life for cheryl. who threatened the same boy the second he even laid hands on toni. the boy who tackled sweet pea to the ground and almost kicked his ass when he got a little too rough play fighting with toni…the boy who’s done nothing but protect her from the second he met her.

 

they were _her_ boys, her brothers, why…why was she doing this, why was she pushing them away?

 

_it’s those **fucking** pills, this fucking injury…it’s being away from cheryl, it’s avoiding coming to terms with the fact that you almost fucking **died** , toni…_

 

she can’t help the whimper that escapes her, and she looks up at both boys, trying her best to stay strong, but it’s no use.

 

she breaks down, burying her face into her hands as she chokes on a sob, and _fuck_ , it hurts even worse with every breath in she takes, her side burning and her skin on fire, and fangs sighs before he collapses down beside her and pulls her carefully into his side, hugging her close and running his fingers through her hair as sweet pea grips her knee tightly.

 

“shh, it’s okay, tiny…” sweet pea whispers. 

 

“i f-fucked up! i f-fucked up so badly! i m-miss her so m-much!” toni chokes out. fangs sighs into her ear before he presses a kiss to her hair.

 

“yeah, you did…but you know cheryl’s not going anywhere, toni. she loves you so much, you’d have to be blind, deaf and dumb not to see it. you’ve gotta talk to her, tiny, it’s tearing you apart being away from her, and you know she’s probably hurting too-.”

 

the front door to the trailer suddenly bursts open, and toni jumps away from fangs, hissing in pain as she sniffs back her tears and clutches her side. she’s expecting to see red hair, and for a second, her heart _soars_ , but her eyes settle on her grandfather instead, who looks at the scene before him with a frown before he’s suddenly sighing and gripping the handle of the door, and toni can tell by the look on his face that something is wrong.

 

_what happened? god, please, not more bad stuff-_

 

“boys…i know this is probably not a good time, but i need to speak to toni alone. can you come back later?” he asks hoarsely, his eyes filled with remorse and sadness.

 

_something’s wrong…something happened, oh god, is it cheryl, please don’t let it be cheryl…_

 

sweet pea and fangs hesitate, exchanging glances before they look at toni, and she licks her lips before she gives them both a simple nod, desperate for them to leave now so she can find out what’s going on.

 

“i’ll swing by later, i promise. go.” she croaks out. they hesitate again before sweet pea sighs and nods, both of them standing before they make their way to the door. thomas moves out of their way, giving them both a smile before he closes the door behind them and turns to look at his granddaughter.

 

“what’s happened? is everything okay?” toni asks, all thoughts of her feelings and her pain over cheryl and her injury fading as she wipes away the last of her tears, but her heart is still pounding fast in her ears with fear and worry. thomas sighs and makes his way over to her before he falls down into the seat beside her with some difficulty, toni helping him as best she can despite how much pain she’s in, and he grips her hands in his own before he looks at her with nothing but sorrow.

 

“your uncle jacob is dying, toni.” he says roughly. 

 

toni’s heart stops.

 

the words echo in her mind, but they don’t seem to be making any connection to her fried brain. 

 

_uncle jake…uncle jake is dying…_

 

her uncle…

 

she shouldn’t feel anything. she shouldn’t. the man abused her for years and treated her like complete and utter shit, he tried to fucking _kill_ her…she shouldn’t feel anything at all.

 

so why is her heart pounding so loudly in her ears? why is her heart breaking even more than it already is?

 

_he’s dying…_

 

thomas lets out a shaky sigh before squeezing her hands.

 

“we just saw him by the bridge, f.p and i…his liver is failing him, and he can’t afford a transplant. he’s got maybe a few weeks left…i’ve already sent a letter to andrea, i’m just hoping her mother won’t keep it from her like she did the last one.” 

 

toni closes her eyes and lets her tears fall, doesn’t bother wiping them away before she sniffs and simply nods once.

 

“even if she doesn’t, she’s not gonna care, grandpa. she doesn’t even know him…rebecca got her out of here the second he raised his hand against her, and she was right to do so.” toni says hollowly, swallowing the lump in her throat that builds at the thought of her long lost aunt and cousin as thomas lets go of her and sinks back into the couch with a deep sigh.

 

“he’s still my son, little bird. i might not agree or be happy with anything he’s done, to the serpents, to his partner and his daughter, to you…but he’s still my son.” 

 

toni bites back a whimper as she closes her eyes, licking her lips before she replies.

 

“i know…” 

 

his second son to die at a young age. 

 

toni’s family just keeps dropping like flies. first her mother and father, now her uncle, and how long will it be before thomas joins the list of dead topazes too?

 

toni came within an inch of becoming part of that list just two weeks ago.

 

 _maybe the topazes are just meant to die out, toni._

 

she doesn’t want to be upset, he doesn’t deserve for her to mourn him, not after everything he’s fucking done to her, but she can’t stop it. her emotions are all over the place already as it is…

 

“toni?” thomas says softly, gripping her shoulder tightly. toni stares at him for a long time, her heart breaking, her body hot, her head spinning-

 

she needs to get out of here, she can’t…she can’t do this anymore, this is too much-

 

she slowly stands up as best she can on shaking legs, her whole body trembling as she breathes in as deeply as she can. 

 

“where are you going?” thomas croaks out, looking at her sadly as she limps her way toward the door.

 

“for a walk.” she says simply, and before he can say anything else, toni moves to the front door and exits the trailer. the sun bares down on her, heating her body up impossibly more, her whole body throbbing painfully. 

 

_“your uncle jacob is dying, toni.”_

 

she shouldn’t care. she shouldn’t care, why does she care? her mother, dead, her father, dead, her uncle, her grandfather, close to joining them…

 

who does she have left? 

 

she reaches into her pocket and pulls out the container, shaking two pills into her hand and shoving them into her mouth with tears falling down her cheeks as she limps toward the bridge between the northside and the southside.

 

maybe he’s still there…maybe she can still say goodbye-

 

_why?! why do you even **want** to say goodbye to him, after everything he’s done to you?!_

 

he’s family…he’s family, she has to at least say goodbye, she has to-

 

_turn back, toni, please, you’re not thinking straight!_

 

jacob’s dying. the man who made her life a living hell for so many years was dying, why does she care, why…she doesn’t want to care about that man, but tears are still falling down her cheeks, and every step she’s taking is filled with regret because she knows she’s making a mistake, but if he’s still there…if he’s still there…

 

_maybe this will help._

 

she moves to the small hill under the bridge, slowly settling herself to sit down on the grass as she shrugs her serpent jacket closer around her shoulders. her head feels heavy, her lids drooping as she sniffs and hugs her knees to her chest, the pills beginning to slowly take effect as the pain in her side fades. she closes her eyes and sinks back against the wall of the bridge, breathing in deeply through her nose before exhaling shakily. 

 

_maybe this will help._

 

“i’m guessing dad told you i’m done for?”

 

_there._

 

so he was here…

 

toni clenches her jaw at the sound of his voice…that fucking voice that haunts her nightmares, and all of a sudden, all she can see is his face hovering above her, eyes maniacally wide and teeth bared as his gigantic hands wrapped around her throat and choked the life out of her, squeezing her windpipe as cheryl screamed and begged for him to let her go in the background…

 

_you don’t care, do you? this is about something so much deeper…tell him. tell him, toni…_

 

she opens her eyes, and when her eyes fall on jacob topaz, her stomach immediately twists and bile rises in the back of her throat.

 

his skin is almost bright yellow, the whites of his eyes a similar color, bags worse than toni’s under his eyes as he coughs loudly, wincing in pain as he does. he’s trembling like a leaf, shaking as he looks at his niece with nothing but anger shining in his eyes.

 

they both look like shit. they both feel like shit.

 

two sides of the same coin.

 

“he just told me.” she croaks out. he stares at her with wide eyes before he chuckles and moves closer to her, each step clearly causing him pain with how he hisses and whines, making toni wince just the same at the sound of it.

 

_why? he used to beat you, and you used to cry and wince and whine and he didn’t give a shit. why do you care, toni?_

 

because she needs to tell him…she can’t let him die without telling him…

 

“so you came here to what? gloat about it?” he coughs out, toni closing her eyes at the sound before she hears the sound of grass rustling. when she opens her eyes, he’s sitting down a few feet away from her, looking completely and utterly _exhausted._

 

just like she feels.

 

_tell him, toni…_

 

“you deserve it.” toni breathes out shakily, her heart pounding before jacob suddenly scoffs loudly and runs his fingers through his hair, his eyes distant and hollow. 

 

“yeah, probably.” he says simply. toni purses her lips, lets the silence wash over the both of them, everything in her telling her to just _let go…_

 

“heard you got shanked.” he grunts out.

 

_you fucking prick…you absolute fucking prick._

 

toni still finds herself smirking, her fingers gripping the grass at her feet before she rips it out.

 

“yeah. still here, though.” she says with a lopsided smile. jacob laughs loudly at that, nodding before he coughs again.

 

“yeah…good. need you to carry on the topaz name...my daughter doesn't even know who i am, so you're the only one left, ant.” he says gruffly. 

 

toni doesn't even feel any anger at him using the nickname her father gave her like she should. she simply nods once, resting her chin on her knees as jacob stares out into the distance.

 

silence settles between them again. 

 

it’s surprisingly not uncomfortable. it’s just…silence. nothing more, nothing less.

 

“go on, kid. i haven’t got much fight left in me, so there’s no better time than now.” jacob says softly, tears welling in his eyes before he finally turns to look at toni with a knowing smile. 

 

he knows why she’s here. of course he does…

 

_tell him. tell him everything you feel._

 

she takes a shuddering breath in, the tears forming before she can stop them as her nails dig into her forearms harshly.

 

“you ruined my life. you made me this scared, fragile girl…you beat me and hurt me and _ruined_ me, to the point where even now…even now, despite the fact that you’re not in my life anymore, despite the fact that i’m so fucking _happy_ , i’m still that small, scared, fragile girl. i shouldn’t fucking care that you’re dying, and the truth is…i don’t. because i _hate_ you. i really do, uncle jake.” toni whispers out, her heart pounding in her ears, but god, the weight lifting off her chest with each word…

 

“you tried to kill me. there’s been nights where i wake up in a goddamn sweat with nightmares because of everything you’ve done to me. nights where i have to stop myself from screaming because all i can see in the darkness is your face hovering above mine as you choked the life out of me while my…my f-fucking girlfriend screamed and begged for you to stop.” toni stutters at the mention of cheryl, her heart squeezing as she closes her eyes and pulls her bravery from thoughts of her girlfriend…her smile, the love in her eyes when she looked at her…

 

“if you thought i’d come here and tell you i forgive you, you’re mistaken. because i don’t forgive you, uncle jake. and i never will. you’re a horrible person, and a horrible man…and you deserve this. not just because of what you did to me, and rebecca, and andrea…but because of what you’ve done to yourself.” 

 

the words almost seem to echo into the air around them, each word stabbing the air thickly, but to toni’s surprise, jacob doesn’t seem angry.

 

toni doesn’t know what he’s feeling. his expression is completely blank. and maybe once upon a time, she would’ve been scared to say these things, would be scared at how lifeless he looks right now, a sure sign that he was about to snap, but fuck…

 

she almost died. and she came out on the other end. the spirits didn’t take her, she was still fucking _here._ she had fight in her, she had strength and courage and heart…

 

she isn’t afraid of anything anymore. 

 

jacob looks out into the distance once more, and toni stares in shock as a tear slips down his cheek before he lets out a shaky sigh.

 

“i hope you have a good life, kid. god knows you deserve it.” he whispers softly, and before toni can even think of anything else to say, he pushes himself up shakily, giving her a small smile before he sniffs and begins to walk away, toni watching him depart numbly without any idea if she’ll ever see him again.

 

it isn’t until he’s long gone…far away from earshot of her that toni finally allows herself to break down.

 

tears stream down her face as she sobs openly, hugging her knees close to her body as her side aches with each gasping breath she takes in. 

 

it’s over. it’s really over…

 

_but it’s not, is it? because you’re still everything he made you, toni…it’ll never be over. he’ll die, but his impact lives on, because you’re always gonna be that scared, fragile, helpless girl he made you…_

 

toni chokes on a sob, reaching into her pocket for her pills with shaking hands and trembling fingers. she gulps down the lump in her throat as she shakes two of them into her hand-

 

_“you did this to yourself.”_

 

she freezes, heart clenching tightly as she stares at the little orange container.

 

her own words…her own fucking words, and yet here she is…falling down that same path, that same rabbit hole…

 

_i can’t do this anymore…_

 

it hurts…god, her body her hurts so fucking much…she’s so tired, she’s so, so tired…

 

_you take those pills and you’re no better than him, toni._

 

she stares down at the pills in her shaking palm, her body aching, desperate for her to shove them into her watering mouth, just two more, just two more for reprieve, there’s so much pain…

 

she closes her eyes and grits her teeth before she thinks of red hair and red lips-

 

“cher…” she breathes, the simple fucking echo of her name ringing out giving her renewed strength as her eyes snap open, and she sniffs before she shoves the pills back into the container with gritted teeth and grabs her phone instead.

 

what if she’s not ready? what if she’s-

 

_fuck it, be selfish for once in your goddamn life, toni! you **need** her!_

 

she tells cheryl…tells her all the time that her number one priority in her life should be herself, and yet she couldn’t do the same for her own damn self. what kind of example was that? 

 

she needs her. god, she needs her here so badly right now-

 

she reaches cheryl’s name before she presses the call button and raises the phone to her ear, the whole device smacking repeatedly into her ear from how badly she’s shaking.

 

it doesn’t even ring twice before she’s answering.

 

“toni…” 

 

her lungs squeeze painfully, her heart racing but this sense of calm immediately washes over her at the sound of her voice.

 

her voice…fuck, her voice, toni hasn’t heard it in four fucking days, she _misses that voice-_

 

“ch-cher…p-please, i need you…i n-need you, i’m s-sorry-.” toni blubbers out almost incoherently, her chest aching at just the sound of cheryl breathing on the other end of the line, and fuck, she shouldn’t be doing this, what if cheryl wasn’t ready to see her? what if she told toni to fuck off, to give her more time-

 

“shh, it’s okay! it’s okay, babe, just tell me where you are, please!” 

 

_oh god…oh god, please, please, tell her where you are, bring her to you, toni…_

 

“the b-bridge…underneath the b-bridge between the n-north and s-southside…” toni breathes, closing her eyes as she hears the immediate sound of rustling on the other end of the line.

 

“i’m on my way, t.t! don’t move!” 

 

\------------

 

“toni!”

 

cheryl’s heart is pounding so loudly in her ears, but nothing else seems to matter to her except getting to toni. she hears josie and veronica yell for her to slow down, and she knows she probably shouldn’t have jumped out of the van before josie had even slowed it down to a stop to put it into park, but it doesn’t _matter._

 

she runs down the hill a little awkwardly, feet stuttering as she rushes toward the bridge to the right of her, sweat dripping down her brow from the overbearing heat of the sun before she yells out again.

 

“toni! where are you?” she shouts, panic and worry gripping her for the pink haired serpent that’s nowhere to be found.

 

_please…please, where is she, where is she-_

 

pink hair. pink hair and a small figure curled up right underneath the northside of the bridge-

 

she’s rocking back and forth, her sobs echoing off the walls of the bridge, and cheryl’s heart just…breaks.

 

tears of anguish immediately begin to fall at the sight before her, and she turns around and raises a hand to stop veronica and josie in their tracks, both girls coming to a stop and looking at her with wide eyes as she raises a finger to her lips.

 

she doesn’t want to scare her…

 

she inches closer and closer, toni’s sobs only getting louder, and god, she can’t bear listening to this much longer-

 

“t-toni?” she breathes, and the pink haired serpent’s head snaps up, her eyes meeting cheryl’s.

 

cheryl’s knees buckle and she almost collapses right then and there, bile rising in the back of her throat and her heart seizing at the sight of the bags under toni’s eyes, the dark circles and the sweat and the sickly look in her eyes-

 

“ch-cher?” toni croaks out, her chin wobbling and her eyes so wide and filled with so much heartbreak that cheryl chokes on a sob before she drops her purse and collapses right beside the girl, arms reaching for that body she’s been missing for four goddamn days-

 

“toni...” cheryl whimpers out, and the serpent girl’s face screws up in pain before she cries loudly, sinking forward into cheryl’s waiting arms weakly.

 

it’s like puzzle pieces slotting together. like being outside in the cold weather of riverdale before stepping inside to the warm, toasty restaurant of pop’s diner. 

 

it’s like coming home, something cheryl used to dread with everything in her until toni topaz came into her life. toni was _her home..._ whatever happened, wherever they went, it didn't matter, because she would always be home as long as toni was _with her._

 

home was a person, not four walls and a bed for her. home was toni topaz.

 

and god, did she _fucking miss her home._

 

cheryl closes her eyes and simply cherishes the feeling of toni’s small body beneath her hands, rubbing circles into toni’s back as she rests her head on cheryl’s collarbone and just…cries.

 

“shh, it’s me, t.t! i’m here, i’m right here, shh…” cheryl opens her eyes to see veronica and josie both watching them morosely, and she licks her lips and simply shakes her head once before both girls smile and nod, exchanging looks before they decide to give them the privacy they sorely need. 

 

“i’m s-so-sorry-.”

 

“i know, toni…god, i’ve missed you, i’ve missed you so much…” cheryl presses kisses to every inch of toni’s skin she can reach from their position, lips brushing over her forehead before she realizes how clammy and hot the skin is beneath her lips. 

 

she pulls back with a frown, panic gripping her as she grips toni’s face in her hands. the girl’s whole face is covered in tears, eyes red and puffy as she sniffs and looks up at cheryl in despair.

 

“toni, your skin is so hot…” cheryl whispers, brushing pink hair back from sweat matted skin as toni sniffs again and shakes her head.

 

“ch-cher…uncle jake is d-dying…” toni croaks out, looking up at her with this defeated look in her eyes that has cheryl’s heart gripping and squeezing with panic and fear.

 

jacob topaz was dying?

 

“i…toni, i-.”

 

“i t-told h-him, i told him how m-much i _hate_ h-him, h-he’s d-dying and i t-told him i h-hate him, i’m so s-selflish, cher! i’m so s-selfish-.” toni’s barely coherent, but the words cheryl can make out cause her to gasp before she’s gripping toni’s chin in her fingers and tucking her hair behind her ear affectionately with a furious shake of her head.

 

after everything that man did to her, she still fucking _cared..._

 

“toni, you’re not selfish! god, you’re the most selfless person i know…that man did nothing but hurt you, you have every right to hate him! he may be dying, but it doesn’t erase what he did to you! shh, toni, god, you’re shivering…” toni’s whole body is trembling despite how hot her skin is, and fuck, cheryl’s so worried right now, she can’t think about anything else but grabbing toni and taking her straight to the hospital-

 

“h-hold me…p-please, cher, p-please…” toni rasps out, and cheryl whimpers before she pulls the pink haired serpent into her touch, wrapping her arms around the girl before she pulls her into her lap. toni grips her shirt between her trembling fingers and buries her face into cheryl’s neck, peppering it with kisses as cheryl rocks her back and forth gently. 

 

cheryl looks up at the sound of footsteps to see josie making her way over to them with a blanket in her hands, a frown of concern on her face as cheryl looks behind her to see veronica, sweet pea and fangs are standing just at the top of the hill as well, watching them carefully, but respecting them enough not to be within earshot. 

 

fuck, they’re so lucky to have such good friends in their lives…

 

cheryl takes the blanket from josie wordlessly, giving her a small smile before she whispers soflty.

 

“have the van ready, we need to get her to the hospital. she’s got a temperature.” josie’s frown deepens, but she nods once as toni whines against cheryl’s skin and tucks herself closer into the red haired girl desperately.

 

she’s so hot…so hot, god, cheryl can feel the heat radiating off her, something’s not right-

 

“d-don’t leave me, p-please-.”

 

“i’m not going anywhere, t.t, shh…” cheryl wraps the pink haired girl in the blanket, her heart aching at just how fucking _vulnerable_ toni is right now, and god, of _course_ she is. she always puts on this tough exterior of being so brave and so strong, but she almost died, and she fought with the girl she loves and the uncle that abused her for years is dying-

 

god, it’s a wonder she’s even conscious right now… 

 

“give us five minutes, josie…” cheryl croaks out, and the girl sighs before she makes her way back up the hill, cheryl bundling toni up with the blanket tighter as toni shivers against her uncontrollably.

 

“i don’t w-wanna f-fight anymore, ch-cher…i f-fucked up so b-badly, and i c-can’t t-tell you how s-sorry i am for what i d-did…i n-never meant to h-hurt you, and i sh-should’ve told you the t-truth, i c-can’t believe i l-lied to you, i j-just wanted to h-help archie s-so much-.” toni wails, her fingers tugging on cheryl’s shirt to pull her impossibly closer as the red haired girl rests her lips on toni’s sweaty forehead, the salty taste clinging to her lips and tongue.

 

“i know…i know, t.t…god, i’m sorry, too. getting mad about something you couldn’t control-.”

 

“i c-could control it! i w-was in control when i l-lied to you, when i w-went with j-jughead, this is all m-my fault-.” cheryl shakes her head before she pulls back and cradles toni’s face in her hands delicately with a soft smile. 

 

“you m-made a mistake, babe. we all make mistakes, it’s what makes us human…it’s beyond our control, toni, we c-can’t change the past, but we can shape the future, and god, toni, i can’t see my future with anyone b-but you. i want to move past this, too...” cheryl whispers softly. toni’s bottom lip trembles before she reaches up to brush her thumb over cheryl’s lips before moving to her brows, down the trail of her nose, soaking in every inch of her face before she exhales shakily.

 

and cheryl’s blurting it out before she can stop herself.

 

“i wasn’t mad, toni. ever. about any of this, i was just…i was s-so _scared_ to lose you. you’re the only good thing that’s ever happened to me, and when that was threatened, when _your life_ was threatened…i’ve never been more scared in my entire life, toni.” cheryl whispers, her hand gripping around toni’s neck to give her pulse point a gentle squeeze with a press of her thumb, as if reassuring herself that there’s still one there. 

 

toni’s eyes glaze over for a moment before she closes them and lets the tears clinging to her eyelashes fall with a sniff and a shake of her head.

 

“i feel so lost, cher. i feel so lost about e-everything…i almost d-died, but i feel like n-not all of me c-came back…i’m getting m-mad at the s-smallest things and s-snapping at people and god, f-fighting with you...” toni whimpers. cheryl stares at her in wonder before it slowly begins to settle deep in her heart what's going on here.

 

she just doesn’t see it, does she? cheryl’s had her brush with death before…she _knows_ what toni is feeling, but the girl simply refuses to see it…

 

_tell her, cheryl. help her see._

 

“because you almost _died_ , toni. you almost died and death is the most terrifying thing we face in life. no one comes out of a near death experience the same person, i know i didn’t…you’re _scared_ , toni. you’re just as scared as i was, as i _still_ am, but you don’t want to admit it.” cheryl croaks out. toni looks up at her with wide eyes as she hiccups before her bottom lip trembles, and cheryl watches with an aching heart as she gasps a shuddering breath in before she wails loudly, gasping desperately for air as she clutches cheryl's shirt.

 

“i’m s-so f-fucking s-scared, ch-cher, i n-never w-want to g-go through th-that again-.” 

 

“shh, i know…i know, i’m here, t.t, shh…” cheryl pulls her back in, holding her close as toni cries into her neck openly.

 

that’s what this is all about. the outbursts of anger from the pink haired serpent, it’s not from rage, but from fear. cheryl knows, cheryl lived through it herself…she fucking burned down thornhill because of it.

 

_why were we both so blind to see that?_

 

they stay wrapped in each other’s embrace for a long time, cheryl’s neck and shirt drenched with toni’s tears before the serpent girl finally sniffs once and pulls back to look at her girlfriend with a wince of pain.

 

“d-do you forgive me, cher? for l-lying, and for going on a s-serpent mission with you, and f-for yelling at you? i d-didn’t mean to yell-.”

 

“shh, i know, toni…of course i forgive you. do you forgive me for yelling, too?” cheryl whispers. toni purses her lips and nods furiously, and cheryl smiles before she leans down to kiss her, nothing but salty tears hitting her tastebuds, but god she doesn’t _care._

 

she hasn't tasted her for four days, four torturous fucking days...

 

toni whines and deepens the kiss desperately, and as soon as cheryl’s hands splay over the exposed skin of her shoulders, she pulls away with a frown and a shake of her head.

 

“toni, you’re burning up more and more by the second, we need to get you to the hospital, okay?” 

 

_kisses can wait, cheryl, you need to look after your girl._

 

to her surprise, her girlfriend doesn’t argue. instead she simply nods once and buries her head into cheryl’s neck once more with a loud sniff.

 

“okay…just don’t leave me, p-please?” she whispers.

 

and cheryl kisses her forehead before she sighs and nods against her skin.

 

“never again, t.t. i promise.”


	12. be here by your side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uh...i caved and got a twitter.
> 
> you can follow me at @endofdaysforme there, i'll post updates on how i'm going along with writing, when i'll be updating and if there's any delays in chapters coming out! hoping to see some of you on there!
> 
> this is a filler chapter, i won't lie, some big shit does kind of go down, but it's mostly fluffy because my girls deserve it, they've been through a lot lol. hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think! next chapter is gonna be a big one!

as it turns out, spending four days curled up in bed crying without eating anything and barely drinking any water can take a toll on you when you’re recovering from trauma surgery.

 

by the time they had gotten to the hospital, toni had only gotten worse, to the point where cheryl had to all but drag the girl through the emergency doors. toni doesn’t remember much about it, her whole body shaking and her head aching, but she does remember muffled voices and what sounded like cheryl’s panicked voice before she was being led into a private room.

 

twenty minutes, an ultrasound and a full examination later, doctor connors stares down at her sternly, looking none too impressed as toni tries her best to look sheepish despite how shit she feels right now.

 

“well the good news is that there’s no internal bleeding, but the bad news is that you’ve been doing the complete opposite of what i told you to do, toni. you’re severely dehydrated, when was the last time you drank water or had anything to eat?” doctor connors asks with a frown, placing his stethoscope into his ears before he checks toni’s heartbeat for the eighth time. the cold metal resting on her heated chest makes toni sigh happily, and she frowns, trying her best to remember, but the truth is…

 

the truth is she can’t. 

 

she has no fucking idea when the last time she ate something was, and she _thinks_ she might’ve had a glass of water this morning maybe-

 

“toni?” doctor connors says her name with an almost exasperated sigh, and she avoids his gaze as she simply shrugs.

 

“i don’t know. can’t remember…” she mumbles guiltily. doctor connors huffs, and toni feels sharp nails dig into her shoulders suddenly before cheryl blossom’s breathy voice echoes into her ear.

 

“is she going to be okay?” she croaks out. toni sinks back against her girlfriend, closing her eyes and smiling as the smell of perfume and a scent that is so purely the red haired girl fills her nostrils, a scent she’s been deprived of for four days, and she only opens her eyes when doctor connors sighs and begins talking.

 

“the ultrasound came back completely clean, miraculously…her kidney isn’t inflamed, but i want to have another check once we get a bag of fluids in her and some food. are you in any pain, toni?” doctor connors asks softly. toni simply nods once, and she answers doctor connors second question before he even asks it.

 

“it’s at an eight.” she breathes, the back of her head hitting cheryl’s chest weakly as she swallows the dry lump in her throat. cheryl inhales sharply behind her, hands pressing into her shoulders to hold her up as doctor connors frowns and stands straight with a nod.

 

“alright, lay down, toni. you’re not leaving until i’m satisfied with your scans and that temperature of yours.” he says firmly. toni groans loudly, sinking further into cheryl with a shake of her head.

 

she doesn’t want to stay here, she fucking hates it here, she wants to go back home to thistlehouse where she fucking _belongs-_

 

“you can moan and groan all you want, toni, but if you had taken better care of yourself, you wouldn’t be here. lie down, please.” doctor connors sighs as he makes his way over to a cart in the corner of the room, and toni grumbles as cheryl helps her swing her feet over the edge before slowly lowering her down onto the hospital bed. she can still feel her body trembling with cold shivers despite how hot her skin is, and she looks up into cheryl’s eyes, feeling nothing but guilt for the fact that they were back here. 

 

why did she break down so severely the last four days? it’s not like cheryl was leaving her, the girl practically ran to her side the second toni called her for god’s sake, she should’ve looked after herself properly…

 

_it’s not about cheryl and you know it, toni. you were finally spending time alone to face the fact that you almost died…and it scared the holy hell out of you._

 

“i’m sorry, cher-.”

 

“shh, let’s just focus on making you better, t.t.” cheryl says with a soft smile, reaching her hand up to rake her fingers through toni’s sweat matted hair. toni closes her eyes, a wave of calm coming over her at the feeling, and it’s quiet for a few moments before cheryl leans down to press her lips to toni’s brow.

 

“deep breath, t.t.”

 

“what, why-ow!” a sharp pain in her inner elbow has toni’s eyes flying open, and she glares up at doctor connors as he tapes down the needle with a frown. he straightens out the tubing and places an iv bag onto the stand before he moves the wheel of the clamp, and toni feels an immediate ice cold liquid enter her veins.

 

she sinks back against the pillow with a groan. it feels like her whole body has just been placed in an ice bath, she can almost feel the heat sizzling off her skin as she smiles lazily up at her girlfriend. cheryl chuckles and continues running her fingers through toni’s hair as she looks up at doctor connors with a frown of concern.

 

“what about her pain?” 

 

“i’ll inject a shot of morphine into her bag for now, but if her pain gets worse and it’s not enough-.”

 

“it’ll be enough.” toni says through gritted teeth, closing her eyes and gripping cheryl’s hand tightly as doctor connors begins injecting a shot of morphine into the port of her iv bag.

 

she’s not relying on those fucking pills or any pain medication anymore. she’s pretty sure they’re half the reason she’s been so loopy lately, they clouded her mind and made her feel weak, made her this pathetic mess of a person who focused only on the bad instead of the good like she always does.

 

not only that, but after seeing what addiction has done to her uncle, she’s not planning on taking _anything_ that can remotely have her falling down the same path. 

 

addiction may run in her family, but toni’s not going to fall victim to it. she refuses to.

 

“well, if the pain gets worse, let me know. i’ll have a nurse bring in a sandwich for you for now, stay put.” doctor connors says sternly, pointing a finger at her before he smiles at cheryl and exits the room. cheryl sighs before she goes to grab the chair in the corner, but toni whines and simply shuffles over with a slight wince before patting the space beside her on the left.

 

“i spent four days away from you, cher, i want you as close as possible.” toni croaks out. cheryl’s expression softens before she sighs again and sinks down into the spot beside toni, one hand resting on the other side of toni’s body before she leans down to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth. 

 

“where are the others?” toni asks softly, fingers brushing up and down cheryl’s arm and causing goosebumps to erupt over her pale skin. cheryl smiles and shakes her head.

 

“i told them to get to school and that i’d keep them updated. they don’t need marks against their attendance and it’s not like there’s much anyone can do…waiting around here won’t accomplish anything.” cheryl frowns, letting out a shaky breath as she pulls her phone out of the pocket of her coat to no doubt send a message to veronica, josie, sweet pea and fangs. once she’s done, she looks down at toni with worry before letting out another deep sigh.

 

“toni, you promised me you were going to look after yourself while we spent time apart.” cheryl murmurs, frowning as she reaches her free hand up to brush her thumb over toni’s cheek affectionately. toni licks her lips before she wraps her fingers around cheryl’s wrist, closing her eyes and swallowing thickly as she sinks back into the pillow.

 

“i know…i’m sorry, i thought i could handle it, but everything…everything just kind of caved in around me, and i couldn’t think properly at all. i didn’t even realize i wasn’t eating or drinking properly, all i felt was pain.” toni whispers, blinking back tears as the morphine starts to kick in and her eyes droop lazily. cheryl scratches the skin at the nape of her neck before she leans down again to kiss her properly this time, pillowy lips insistent against toni’s own before she trails her lips over to toni’s cheek where her thumb was seconds ago.

 

“good lord, those days were bad for me, too, toni. josie and veronica were practically force feeding me. they helped me open my eyes this morning to how i was really feeling about everything…made me see that i was just afraid to lose you, and when that almost became a reality i just…panicked and _lost it._ it wasn’t anger, toni, it was _fear._ and i know it’s the same for you, too.” cheryl whispers against her skin, pulling back to look into her eyes as toni clenches her jaw and averts her gaze down, grabbing cheryl’s hands and playing with her fingers as she simply nods once. 

 

“yeah…grandpa was right, i needed to come to terms with almost dying, but every time i tried i just freaked out. it’s…” toni trails off, her voice cracking as the emotion builds in her throat, but she swallows it down and traces her thumb of the alabaster skin of cheryl’s wrist before she talks again.

 

“it’s fucking _terrifying,_ cheryl. the more i think about that fear i felt before they knocked me out for surgery, the more i think about my parents…the more i think about how _scared_ my father must’ve been before they hit that tree…the m-more i think about h-how they m-must’ve thought of me the s-same way i th-thought of you, even in their d-dying moments…” toni bares her teeth in frustration at the tears that fall down her cheeks, but cheryl coos softly and brushes them away before she tucks a finger under toni’s chin to lift her gaze up, chocolate brown eyes meeting equally dark ones.

 

“toni…i’m so sorry-.”

 

“s’not your fault, baby…” toni whispers, licking her lips and catching stray tears onto her tongue before she reaches out to grip the lapels of cheryl’s coat. she tugs her down gently, cheryl sighing before she rests her forehead against toni’s affectionately, both girls closing their eyes and simply breathing each other in.

 

“i know it’s not…doesn’t stop me from being sorry.” cheryl says with a soft smile. toni returns it with a light chuckle before she reaches up to cradle cheryl’s face in her hands. 

 

she’s just still so _worried…_ she needs to hear her say it…

 

“are we okay, cher?” toni whispers, her bottom lip trembling, and cheryl brushes her thumb across it tenderly with a warm smile and a nod.

 

“yes, we’re okay, t.t. but we need to talk some more about how we’re both feeling, no yelling, no anger, just…acknowledging each other’s feelings and working towards understanding where we’re both coming from, yeah?” cheryl murmurs. toni nods against her and kisses her before she pulls cheryl down to her body to hug her, relief sweeping through her as she lets out a shaky breath, cheryl pressing a kiss to her ear before she whispers into it softly.

 

“we’re okay, t.t…we’re okay.” 

 

_thank god…_

 

she knows they have a long conversation ahead of them, one that was probably going to be difficult to endure, but that didn’t matter right now. god, all that did was that cheryl was here, she wasn’t going anywhere, and the last four days did something _good_ for the both of them despite the fact that toni was currently in the hospital with severe dehydration and a fever.

 

it was a rough four days, sue her.

 

there’s a soft knock at the door that has cheryl pulling away from toni with a sigh, and she smiles down at the pink haired serpent before she calls out.

 

“come in.” she says hoarsely. the door opens as a nurse slowly files in, and toni frowns at the anxious look on the woman’s face as she simply walks in with container in her hands that toni sees has a sandwich in it. the nurse simply hands it over to cheryl wordlessly, her eyes wide and panicked as cheryl and toni both look at her in confusion.

 

“uh, thank you…” cheryl says with a frown, taking it off her slowly with a warm smile, and the nurse simply nods before she walks back out as if the room is on fire, shutting the door behind her a little loudly as she does. toni bites back a laugh, but when cheryl turns to look at her with wide eyes filled with shock, she can’t help but snort slightly with laughter.

 

“what was that about?” toni chuckles. cheryl shakes her head with a light laugh before she shrugs.

 

“no idea. you need to eat though, come on.” cheryl sighs and opens the container, and toni sees it coming from a mile way, watches with a grin as cheryl breaks off a piece before she holds it up to toni’s lips.

 

“knew you’d do that.” she says, opening her mouth with a wink as cheryl rolls her eyes and places the piece into her mouth slowly.

 

“i like looking after you. it makes me feel needed.” she murmurs. toni’s heart aches at those words, and she waits until she’s finished chewing before she grips cheryl’s hand in her own and presses a kiss to the back of it noisily.

 

“i’ll always need you, cher. the last four days have just proved that to me.” she says softly. cheryl smiles and squeezes her hand before she breaks off another piece, feeding it toni before she suddenly gazes down at the sandwich with distant eyes.

 

“these last four days, i kept thinking about my mother, and what she said when i was arrested…how she told me that my relationship with you wouldn’t last, but the thing is, toni, not once did i ever believe her words. they kept echoing in my mind, but there wasn’t a single point where i thought to myself ‘she was right’. and as much as the last four days have hurt, i’m proud of myself for not stooping low enough to believe a single word that comes out of that woman’s vile mouth.” cheryl whispers, teeth bared in anger as toni licks her lips and squeezes cheryl’s hands tightly.

 

“good. because she’s wrong. nothing’s gonna tear us apart, cheryl, fuck…we had the biggest fight possible four days ago and here we are. this relationship, it’s beyond anything that woman can comprehend. we support each other, we know when to walk away and when to stay close, when to give each other space and when to not let each other go…we’re kind of made for each other, cher. as much as she hates it, that’s what i believe in.” toni reaches up to tuck a lock of hair behind cheryl’s ear with a smile, and the girl whimpers before she leans down to kiss toni deeply, hand cradling the side of her neck before she pulls away with a sharp gasp of air.

 

“i know, t.t…but it doesn’t stop me from being worried. we both know what that woman is capable of, and she told me she would do everything in her power to make sure you and the serpents were eradicated. i can’t help but be worried that maybe she had something to do with penny and the ghoulies attacking you. maybe i’m paranoid for thinking that way, but…” cheryl whispers brokenly. 

 

toni’s heart completely _drops_ , distant words from a faded memory suddenly echoing in her mind.

 

_“gotta admit, we really thought you’d bring sweet pea or fangs, but with her here, it means we get to kill two birds with one stone. penelope blossom isn’t too happy with our pink haired friend here defiling her daughter.”_

 

oh fuck.

 

she completely forgot, with the adrenaline and the fear and everything else, the whole conversation with penny before her and the ghoulies had chased them back to riverdale. hitting two birds with one stone…

 

surely penelope wasn’t trying to _kill_ toni, though?

 

_she literally threw her mother in law down the stairs and admitted her daughter into a gay conversion therapy camp, toni, you think she gives a damn about you?_

 

maybe cheryl’s not being as paranoid as she thinks.

 

_fuck, you should tell her, toni…_

 

she doesn’t want to worry cheryl any more than she already is, and more than anything, she doesn’t want cheryl _blaming herself_ for toni getting stabbed. but she doesn’t want to keep anything from her, not now when they were already on shaky grounds…

 

_you have to tell her. no more secrets, no more lies._

 

“cher, i…i just remembered something, but listen, you can’t freak out when i tell you, okay?” toni says hesitantly, watching as cheryl blinks once in surprise before she places the sandwich on the table beside her bed and grips toni’s hands in her own.

 

“what is it?” she asks softly. toni sighs before she licks her lips and contemplates her next words very carefully.

 

“i think the adrenaline and the shock of getting…hurt, kind of made me forget about this, but penny said to me and jughead that she was ‘killing two birds with one stone’ before her and the ghoulies attacked us…and…and after she said that, she may or may not…have mentioned your mother.” toni says sheepishly, averting her gaze, but wincing when she feels cheryl’s nails dig into her hand in reaction. 

 

the girl immediately draws in a ragged breath, and toni bites back a whimper at the look on her face.

 

it’s _heartbreaking._

 

“cher? breathe, please…” toni says immediately, pushing herself up to sit higher with a wince as cheryl draws in a shuddering, shaky breath. she looks up at toni with tears in her eyes, and toni can almost see the thoughts running through her mind-

 

_no. no way, no fucking way-_

 

“hey, i know you like the back of my hand, cheryl blossom, i can see you thinking that you’re nothing but danger to me, and i swear to god, if you don’t quit thinking that…don’t you dare, i don’t care what that woman tries to do to me, she’s not keeping me away from you.” toni says through bared teeth, watching as cheryl licks her lips as the tears fall down her cheeks before she shakes her head.

 

“she…she’s d-doing this b-because-.”

 

“because i love you, yeah, i know, but do you think i care? do you think i’m just gonna run because of it? i’m a southside serpent, cheryl, my whole life i’ve been willing to die for the people i love. that doesn’t change when i’m in a relationship, either. she can beat me, hurt me, fucking try to kill me, it won’t matter…i love you, and i always will. she’s not gonna tear us apart, cheryl.” 

 

cheryl whimpers, a shaky sigh escaping her as she hiccups suddenly and purses her lips.

 

“she already almost did, toni. she almost broke us up with this…god, and the serpents are at war with each other too over jughead…everything’s falling into place for her, her plan is working perfectly…” cheryl whines, her hands suddenly moving up to press into her eyes to stop her tears, and toni bites back a groan of anguish as she grips cheryl’s wrists to pull them away from her face. 

 

“she put the cards into play, cher, but we’re the ones that used them. we’re the ones that fought with each other, but it doesn’t matter, okay? because we got through it, her plan didn’t work at all. she tried her best and she still failed, because you and i…we’re okay, remember?” toni croaks out. cheryl’s bottom lip trembles, and she lets out a soft whine as she drops her gaze down to their intertwined hands with a shake of her head.

 

“w-we…she’s n-not gonna s-stop! if w-we b-break up, sh-she’ll l-leave you a-alone-.” cheryl manages to gasp out between sobs, her voice pitched high with emotion, and toni’s heart stops as she shakes her head furiously, her voice shaking with her next words.

 

“don’t do that. don’t you dare do that, cheryl marjorie blossom, don’t let her win. please…she doesn’t get to end our relationship for us. she doesn’t have that power, okay? only _we_ do, and i’m not fucking going anywhere any time soon. _i love you,_ cheryl, do you understand what i mean when i say that? it means through thick and thin, through a crazy fucking homicidal mother who wants me dead, i will be here, by your side, where i _belong._ let her try every goddamn play in the book that she has, we’ll cut through every obstacle _together._ no more secrets, not more lies, we’re in this life together for the long haul now. cher, baby…” toni reaches forward, tucking a finger under cheryl’s chin to get her to lift her gaze as the red haired girl stares back at her with despair shining in her heavy eyes, bottom lip shaking with emotion. 

 

“you always talk about how much you need me, but i don’t think you understand that i need you just as much…don’t be the masochistic hero and leave me just to keep me safe…that’s not how this works.” toni whispers, her voice cracking before she can stop it as cheryl gives her the saddest fucking smile she’s ever seen in her life…

 

“you l-lied to m-me to k-keep me safe-.”

 

“and i’ve regretted it every single fucking second of every single day since then! clearly us being apart is not a solution!” toni says with a disbelieving chuckle and a scoff, and cheryl lets out one of her own as she squeezes toni’s hands in her own with a shaky exhale before her face screws up in what looks like pain, fresh tears falling as she shakes her head.

 

“you g-got h-hurt because of m-me-.”

 

“no, i got hurt because of penny! she’s the one who stabbed me, cheryl, not you, and not even penelope! i don’t care if she gave penny orders to do it, that traitorous bitch is still the one who _chose_ to pick up a knife and stab me with it, okay? so if i don’t blame your mother then i sure as shit don’t blame you, either!”

 

she does blame her mother, she absolutely does, but she needs cheryl to see that none of this was her fault-

 

cheryl sniffs loudly and wipes away her tears with a loud whine before she lets out a sigh of frustration.

 

“why is she s-so hellbent on r-ruining my life? what d-did i ever d-do to her?” she cries, taking in massive gulps of air as she swallows thickly, and toni’s heart aches for her girlfriend as she tugs cheryl forward, the red haired girl moving to lay down on her side next to toni, who immediately wraps her arms around her and begins running her fingers through cheryl’s hair as she settles on toni’s chest with a soft cry. her fingers curl into toni’s shirt as the pink haired serpent presses kiss after kiss to her hair. 

 

“i don’t know, cher. but don’t give her the power to do that, she can only ruin your life if you let her. you’re stronger than her, okay?” cheryl lets out a high pitched whine as she buries her face into toni’s neck with a shake of her head.

 

“i’m n-not strong, toni…i’m not strong at all. i c-can’t even bear the thought of leaving you to k-keep you safe, how does that make me strong?” she whispers. toni tightens her hold around the girl and closes her eyes before letting out a deep breath.

 

“you’re choosing your happiness over your fear, cheryl. that makes you the strongest person i know, don’t doubt that for a second.” toni croaks out. cheryl pushes herself up with a whimper before she’s cradling toni’s face in her hands and kissing her deeply, her body pressed flush on top of toni’s as the pink haired serpent inhales into the kiss, hands moving around cheryl’s waist to keep her in place.

 

god, she’s never, ever letting this girl go again…

 

“i l-love you, toni. i’m so sorry-.”

 

“shh, i love you too, cheryl. nothing your mother does is going to change that, okay? now give me that sandwich, i wanna get the hell out of here so we can go home and cuddle.” 

 

\---------------

 

toni isn’t discharged until well into the afternoon, which ends up working out perfectly, because it gives cheryl and toni _hours_ to talk about how they feel.

 

they talk about _everything_ , how toni was feeling during their days apart, how cheryl was feeling doing their days apart, how her brush with death left toni feeling scared, but braver than before, cheryl’s worry about her mother’s hand in all of this…just _everything._

 

they were both emotionally exhausted by the end of it all, tears clinging to their eyelashes as they held each other, and doctor connors had come in to find them fast asleep in each other’s arms, a chuckle escaping the man as he grabbed cheryl’s shoulder to wake her up gently.

 

doctor connors, to his credit, is a very thorough doctor who appears to care for his patients, because he didn’t even entertain the possibility of discharging toni until her temperature was no longer in the danger zone. once her scans came back clear as well, he told her to get a proper meal and head home to rest, and cheryl had watched in shock as toni had denied his offer to give her a new prescription for her pain pills.

 

“i’ll be fine, doc. the pain hasn’t been too bad before the fever kicked in, i think i can tough it out from now on.” 

 

cheryl had frowned, but said nothing, and she had planned for them to head straight home, but toni had wanted to go to pop’s to get a proper meal and see the others, asking cheryl to ask josie if she can pick them up. cheryl had agreed, but only if they didn’t stay for longer than half an hour. she wanted to get toni home as soon as possible to rest.

 

two hours later, they’re still at pop’s, and cheryl can’t help but watch fondly as toni throws fries into fangs’s mouth, loud giggles leaving the tiny southside serpent every time she misses and hits his nose or his cheek. the absolute joy on her face is something cheryl can’t help but watch with her own smile on her face, but that worry is still resting deep within her, and she can’t stop herself from nervously glancing at the entrance to pop’s every time someone enters.

 

it’s like she’s expecting either penny peabody or her mother to walk in and kill toni right then and there. 

 

every time she thinks of it, thinks of the fact that toni’s life is in danger simply because she’s in love with her, it makes her heart clench and her stomach twist. she can’t believe her mother would stoop this low, and it fucking terrifies her to no end that she has. she wishes she could _do_ something, but telling the police would get her nowhere with sheriff minetta in hiram lodge’s pocket…she could tell f.p, but the man was already in disarray over this whole thing with jughead and his position as serpent king being in jeopardy, what could he possibly do?

 

that only really left sweet pea and fangs, but both boys were already so protective over toni, what was the point in worrying them by adding this as well? 

 

“cheryl? everything okay?” josie’s voice in her ear pulls cheryl out of her thoughts, and she turns to look at her best friend with a soft smile as she simply nods once.

 

“yeah. just worried about her…” she purses her lips, eyes falling back onto toni, who sinks back into the booth with a snort of laughter as sweet pea throws a fry into the air, only for it to hit him in the eye instead of going anywhere close to his mouth. josie wraps an arm around her shoulders with a chuckle, giving her a squeeze as veronica and archie make their way back over to them with milkshakes in their hands.

 

“refills, coming right up!” veronica says with a grin, strutting a little in her pop’s uniform as archie grins and presses a kiss to her cheek before dropping a chocolate shake in front of toni.

 

“you’ve got more color in your cheeks, toni.” he says with a smile, nodding at her as she simply shrugs and slides the shake over until it’s in front of her. 

 

archie’s right. the pink haired serpent definitely looks a lot better than she did this morning, and cheryl’s thankful for it. it’s almost like she’s back to her old self…

 

“i’m definitely feeling a lot better.” she says with a smile. 

 

“good. now please look after yourself better, toni. you have no idea how quickly our hearts dropped when you called cheryl this morning. don’t scare us like that again.” veronica says softly, and cheryl watches as toni winces before she licks her lips and nods once.

 

“i know…i won’t, i promise.” she croaks out. it’s silent for a few moments, a thick, somber tension filling the air before archie clears his throat and squeezes veronica’s shoulder with a smile.

 

“well, i’m gonna head down to the basement to keep working on the speakeasy, we’re getting closer to being done. you guys wanna help?” archie says, nodding down at sweet pea and fangs, who both shrug and jump up from the booth, sweet pea grabbing a fry and shoving it into his mouth as he does.

 

“sure, why not? see you later, tiny!” fangs ruffles toni’s hair, the girl slapping his hand away with a playful growl as the three boys descend down to the basement, veronica watching them go with a smile before she plops down into the booth next to toni with a deep sigh.

 

“i’m hoping we can get it done before archie’s trial is over…if he ends up going away, i want him to see it before he does.” she says in a small voice, eyes on her hands that are intertwined on top of the table, and toni sighs before she grips veronica’s shoulder and gives it a squeeze.

 

“you gotta stay optimistic, v. but if you want more help, you know you can ask other serpents for it.” toni says softly. veronica smiles and simply nods once, and she’s about to say something when the bell jingles, and cheryl’s eyes shoot up-

 

and a mixture of relief, but also annoyance floods her.

 

betty cooper walks in, looking around anxiously before her eyes land on cheryl, and her expression drops just as quickly as her gaze does, her eyes filled with guilt before she makes her way to the front counter. 

 

veronica, toni and josie all follow her gaze, and toni suddenly lets out a deep sigh before she turns to look at cheryl with a raised eyebrow.

 

“she’s your cousin, cheryl. you can’t stay mad at her forever.” she says in a low voice. cheryl simply smiles sweetly and shrugs.

 

“you’d be surprised how long i can hold a grudge for.” she deadpans, sipping on her milkshake as toni rolls her eyes before she looks to veronica. the black haired girl hesitates before she looks at cheryl sadly.

 

“she’s my best friend, cheryl. give her a chance to apologize.” she says softly. 

 

cheryl looks between the three girls, her chest heaving as she clutches the glass between her fingers tightly.

 

betty cooper has never been her favorite person on earth, but the fact does remain that the girl did care for her. it was betty who came to sweet water river with veronica, jughead and archie to save her life. it was betty who joined the group in saving cheryl from the sisters of quiet mercy, betty who stayed by her side at the hospital when she was kidnapped by the ghoulies, betty who came to the station when she was arrested to bring her home…

 

but why? why would she do this? why would she keep this insane mission of jughead’s a secret from everyone, get toni involved and put her life in danger in the process?

 

_she didn’t know the ghoulies were going to show up either, cheryl. and she **loves** jughead, just like you love toni. she’d do anything for him, just like you’d do anything for her…_

 

the rational side of her brain makes these claims, but it’s the selfish part of her mind that keeps fighting through. why should she forgive betty after everything she’s done? and all those things she did for cheryl, it’s not like cheryl gave her nothing in return. cheryl’s the one who helped her uncover that her father was a murderer…

 

_she’s the only family you have left that cares about you, cheryl…_

 

cheryl takes a deep breath in and simply gives veronica a curt nod, and the girl’s eyes widen with excitement as she claps happily before she spins around in her seat, calling out betty’s name as she does.

 

the blonde girl turns with a frown, her eyes landing on veronica before they widen in surprise. she excuses herself from talking to pop tate before she makes her way over to them, a soft smile taking over her features when she comes to a stop in front of them.

 

“hey, v…” she says in that soft voice of hers that cheryl _fucking hates_ because it always has a way of calming even the angriest person down, and veronica simply reaches out and grips betty’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze before cheryl suddenly stands up and lets out a shaky breath.

 

“cousin betty…we need to talk.” she says firmly. 

 

fuck it. this whole revelation that her mother is partly responsible for toni getting stabbed has left her agitated, she needs to let it out on somebody. 

 

betty visibly winces, but she purses her lips and nods as cheryl makes her way toward the entrance to pop’s, exchanging a glance with toni as she does, who hesitates before she speaks.

 

“be nice, cher!” toni calls out, and cheryl rolls her eyes and pushes the door open as betty trails behind her like a lost puppy dog. 

 

as soon as they’re outside, cheryl turns to face her cousin, crossing her arms over her chest with a loud huff as she does, and betty shuffles her feet awkwardly, twisting her fingers together and gazing down a them with her bottom lip caught between her teeth before she gathers the courage to speak.

 

“cheryl, i am so, so, so sorry…i know no amount of apologies can make up for what i did, i should’ve told someone what jughead was doing, but he was so adamant on finding something to clear archie’s name, and the idea of him actually doing it gave me hope that we could get archie out of this whole predicament a free man. but…” betty licks her lips, and cheryl simply watches her, waits for her to speak once more as betty blinks back tears and lets out a shaky breath. 

 

“but we were stupid to think hiram would leave something that could incriminate him behind. we were just holding onto this hope that we’d finally found something that could work in our favor…and it ended up getting toni hurt. i don’t know what else to say, cheryl, i’m just so sorry that it ended this way-.” cheryl raises a hand to silence her, and betty lets out a whimper as she closes her mouth and nods once, dropping her gaze down to her feet once more.

 

cheryl takes a deep breath in before she nods once and uncurls her arms from across her chest.

 

“i know you didn’t mean for this to happen, cousin betty. none of us could’ve seen that attack coming, not even jughead. and…i guess i can sympathize. i know you love that beanie wearing ragamuffin the same way that i love toni…so i understand why you did it.” cheryl takes a step forward, and she can’t help but smirk at the way betty visibly blanches a little before cheryl reaches out to grip her shoulder.

 

“but you need to realize something, cousin. your boyfriend is a moron, and you need to keep him in check. you’re a smart girl, betty, make sure he doesn’t make the same mistake twice, because if toni’s life is ever put in danger again because of him, not even _you_ will be able to stop me from choking him out with that beanie of his.” cheryl says firmly. betty blinks a few times in surprise before she inhales sharply and nods.

 

“noted.” she says simply, giving cheryl a small smile that the red haired girl returns immediately. betty’s eyes are still shining with tears, and one actually falls down her cheek as she looks up at cheryl eagerly.

 

“so…we’re okay? because i’ve felt so horrible these last two weeks, cheryl, i just want to help you-.”

 

cheryl rolls her eyes before she tugs betty forward and wraps her arms around her in a gentle hug, the blonde letting out a grunt of surprise before she’s hugging cheryl back tightly and burying her face into the red head’s shoulder.

 

“we’re okay, betty. just don’t do anything like that again. i don’t care how much jughead tells you to keep whatever he has planned a secret, _tell someone._ ” betty nods against her, sniffling slightly as she does, and cheryl lets out a tired sigh and rubs her back before she pulls away and brushes away betty’s tears with the pad of her thumb and a smile. 

 

ugh, she’s becoming way too soft, goddamn toni topaz and her gentle heart turning cheryl into complete and utter mush-

 

“come on, let’s go inside and join the others.” 

 

“i’m actually getting takeout for myself and my mother, but i’ll hang around for a bit. i’ve missed you guys.” 

 

another half an hour passes before cheryl decides they should head home. toni’s eyelids have been continuously drooping with fatigue for the last ten minutes, and cheryl just wants to get home and snuggle with the girl in that bed that’s been so empty for the last four days. betty ends up leaving at the same time, and she offers to give them a ride to thistlehouse, which they accept so josie can stay a little longer to say goodbye to sweet pea.

 

it’s when they’re alone in betty’s car that the blonde girl apologizes to toni, who doesn’t even hesitate in accepting it with a forever forgiving smile, and the three of them actually spend a good chunk of time laughing in the car as toni tells them stories about sweet pea and fangs, some of them brand new ones cheryl hasn’t heard yet until they’re pulling up to thistlehouse’s gates.

 

toni lets out an almost grateful sigh as she looks up at the house, cheryl’s heart aching tenderly at the way she’s beaming staring up at the place before she turns to look at cheryl with the same expression still etched on her face.

 

“home.” she says simply with a warm smile. cheryl tucks a lock of hair behind her ear before she presses a kiss to her forehead.

 

“home is wherever you are for me, t.t.” she murmurs against her skin. toni hums softly before she kisses cheryl’s cheek.

 

“well, now you make me sound like an asshole.” she grumbles. cheryl lets out a loud laugh as betty turns to face them with a soft smile.

 

“i’ll see you guys around, yeah? i should get this food home before it gets cold...and cheryl?” cheryl looks at her cousin with a frown as smiles and suddenly reaches out to grip cheryl's hand in her own.

 

"polly's coming back into town next week. she wanted me to tell you she think it's about time you met jason's kids...she wants you to meet them, cheryl." 

 

cheryl's heart stops.

 

she draws in a shaky breath, and toni immediately grips her hand and squeezes it gently before cheryl licks her lips and blinks back tears before she nods desperately.

 

"i'd...i'd like that very much." she croaks out. betty smiles, and cheryl grips her shoulder and smiles once with a nod, thanking her for driving them before she exits the car with toni.

 

jason's kids...god, cheryl has been wanting to meet them for so long, but polly was their mother, and after everything clifford and penelope had done, polly didn't blame her for wanting to steer clear of the blossom family altogether. but those kids were _jason's children..._ a part of him lived on in those children...

 

she can't screw up this chance to show polly that she wasn't like clifford and penelope. that she _loved_ jason, and that those children were just as important to her as he was...

 

"cher?" toni whispers, gripping her hand, and cheryl simply sniffs back her tears and smiles.

 

"i'm okay." 

 

betty takes off soon after, and toni sighs as cheryl rakes her fingers through her hair.

 

“we’ll have to go to the lakeside tomorrow to get your bag from your grandfather’s trailer.” she says in a hushed voice, wanting to focus on toni right now instead of the bomb that betty just dropped on her. she takes toni’s hand and leads her to the front door as the girl nods numbly. cheryl fumbles with the keys before opening the door, and as soon as they step through, lisa makes her way over to them, surprise taking over her features when she sees toni.

 

“toni! it’s good to see you back home!” she says warmly, rushing over to give the pink haired serpent a hug, and toni smiles as cheryl chuckles lightly.

 

“mmm, i think we’ve spent enough time apart…is nana rose alright?” lisa pulls away from toni with a deep sigh.

 

“she’s about the same. she’s just watching her show in the living room.” cheryl takes toni’s hand and gives it a squeeze.

 

“let’s go say goodnight to her, t.t. we need to get you in bed as soon as possible.” she says firmly. toni sighs, but nods once as they make their way to the living room. as soon as nana rose’s eyes land on the pink haired serpent, she looks to cheryl with a cheeky grin and a twinkle in her eyes.

 

“oh, i knew you’d get her back, cheryl.” she croaks out. cheryl rolls her eyes as toni laughs and bends down to give nana rose a quick hug, and cheryl presses a kiss to her nana’s forehead before she bids her goodnight. 

 

as soon as they’re upstairs in the privacy of their room, cheryl closes the door and barely turns around before toni’s pushing her up against it and crashing her lips against cheryl’s eagerly. the red haired girl lets out a yelp of surprise before she moans softly and deepens the kiss, tongue sliding against toni’s as she grips the pink haired girl’s waist to pull her impossibly closer. 

 

“i…missed you…so much…” toni breathes, her lips trailing down to cheryl’s neck to suck on the skin harshly as cheryl lets out a high pitch whine and squeezes her thighs together.

 

“t-toni, i…i missed you too, but you’re s-still injured…” cheryl gasps out, pushing toni back by the shoulders gently with a breathless chuckle. toni rolls her eyes and attempts to kiss cheryl’s neck once more, but cheryl simply raises a hand and flicks her nose in reprimand.

 

“ow!”

 

“no sex. not until you’re fully healed.” toni rubs her nose with a huff, glaring at cheryl before she crosses her arms over her chest with a pout.

 

“this sucks.” she grumbles. cheryl brushes her hair back from her face before dipping down to kiss her neck gently.

 

“come on, let’s take a shower so we can cuddle up in bed. i’ve missed holding you in my sleep.” she whispers. toni smiles softly and kisses the corner of her mouth before she bites down on her lower lip and interlaces their fingers, leading them to the bathroom quickly. 

 

it’s probably the most difficult thing cheryl’s ever been through. she helps toni shower, lathers her hair with shampoo and conditioner before the pink haired serpent returns the favor, and toni truly does have new life in her now that she’s had an iv bag of fluids pumped into her and a proper meal, because she’s giggling the entire time and pressing kisses to cheryl’s skin without needing to hold the wall or cheryl for support. 

 

and it makes cheryl’s stomach twist with need that she quickly tries to push aside, because no, she’s not having sex with her girlfriend until she’s fully healed-

 

“cher?” toni notices the frown on her face as the water cleanses them of any soap or shampoo left on their bodies, and she reaches up to brush her thumb over cheryl’s cheek gently as the red haired girl bites down on her bottom lip.

 

“sorry, t.t…” she mumbles, reaching over to turn the water off. as soon as it comes to a stop, she steps out of the tub and grabs a towel to drip herself off before wrapping it around her waist and grabbing another towel to run through her hair. toni follows suite, once again barely needing any help, but cheryl notices the way she winces slightly, and she chastises herself for even remotely thinking about sex with toni right now-

 

god, her girlfriend is just so _beautiful…_

 

“cher, you’ve got that look on your face. i’d know that look from anywhere, i’ve _dreamt_ of seeing that look for the last two weeks. you want this just as badly as i do.” toni says, slowly, running a towel through her hair making her way over to cheryl before wrapping her arms around her towel clad waist. cheryl bites back a whimper and shakes her head.

 

“we _can’t_ , toni. it involves…a lot of movement, if you get hurt-.” 

 

“then we’ll stop. doesn’t hurt to try though.” toni says with a smile and a shrug. cheryl licks her lips, her heart rate increasing before she shakes the thought away again.

 

“no, toni. i’m not risking you injuring yourself further. you were already in the hospital once today, i’m not putting you back there just so i can get off.” she says firmly, pulling toni’s arms away from her waist as the pink haired girl sighs. 

 

“okay…if that’s what you want.” she says dramatically, and cheryl rolls her eyes and groans before she finishes drying off her hair and turns to look at toni again.

 

“of course it’s not what i want, toni. i _want you_ , but you know how we are when we have sex-.”

 

“then we’ll be gentle! it’ll be a nice change!” toni says with a sheepish grin that has cheryl laughing despite herself. toni chuckles as well before she sighs and leans up to kiss cheryl’s cheek.

 

“i’m sorry, you’re probably right, i just…miss touching you.” toni says with a light sigh of frustration, and that pretty much does it for cheryl.

 

she grips toni’s face in her hands and kisses her deeply, toni letting out a soft moan against her before cheryl pulls them through the bathroom door toward the bed. she drops the towel around her waist before she pulls away from the kiss with a breathless gasp.

 

“you lead. we’ll go at your pace, i don’t want to hurt you.” cheryl whispers against her lips. toni’s fucking trembling in her arms as she rests her forehead against cheryl’s and nods.

 

“okay.” she breathes softly, smiling before she kisses cheryl and slowly pushes her down onto the bed. cheryl whimpers as toni nips at her jawline before she moves down to latch her lips onto cheryl’s neck, the both of them still soaked slightly with water as toni continues moving further down her body, but cheryl shakes her head and pulls toni back up to her lips with a whine.

 

“d-don’t go down on me, you know i lose control of my body when you do.” she says with a shiver and a breathless laugh, and toni laughs against her neck before she hovers above her with a raised eyebrow.

 

“isn’t that a good thing?” cheryl groans and shakes her head, arching her body up off the bed as toni brushes her fingers up and down her sides before she gently squeezes her left breast in the palm of her hand. 

 

“not when you’re injured! gentle sex, toni, gentle sex…” cheryl says soothingly in a playful manner, and toni laughs and ducks down to kiss her lips before she nods against her.

 

“alright, alright, gentle, vanilla sex, got it.” 

 

\--------------

 

toni didn’t even think it was possible, but somehow, gentle, vanilla sex ends up being the best sex they’ve probably ever had. 

 

after weeks of emotional and physical trauma, being close with each other is nothing short of therapeutic, the both of them unable to stop the tears that fall during and after just because of the simple intimacy of it all. it’s this one moment, this one time where there’s no anger, no sadness or grief or mourning or anguish, it’s all…just _love._ love in its purest form, in the form that makes toni’s heart race and her blood boil with lust and excitement. 

 

and god, cheryl is so gentle with her, but not in a way that makes toni feel like she’s fragile, made of glass and capable of breaking with a simple squeeze that’s too rough or a kiss that bites too hard. 

 

and having cheryl in this way again, knowing that the red haired girl trusted her and loved her enough to give her something of herself that was so sacred and beautiful…it just makes toni want to hold her close and never let her go. 

 

it makes toni want to do the thing she’s been thinking about doing for weeks now. she knows it’s too soon, they’ve barely been together for a year yet, but what they have…it’s the kind of thing you make sure will last forever…

 

she had brought the idea of buying a promise ring up to sweet pea before the whole incident with the ghoulies had happened, and sweet pea had told her it seemed stupid, but fangs had practically fallen in love with the idea, ever the romantic kind of guy who had even attempted to drag toni to the nearest jewelry store the second he heard her say it.

 

it’s not a far-fetched idea, and right now in this moment, toni wants nothing more than to do it, but with no ring and after a week like this…

 

_make it more romantic, kid. take her out to dinner and then dance with her under the stars and then tell her you’re promising yourself to her…then you can spend the next two years saving up for the ring she deserves, and then you can have that big, fancy wedding she probably wants, and then she’s **yours.** forever and always._

 

“what are you thinking about?” cheryl murmurs against her brow, her fingers delicately running through toni’s damp hair as the pink haired serpent snuggles closer to her. their limbs are entangled on the bed, the both of them still catching their breath with their naked bodies pressed together tightly. 

 

“not much…just how much i love you.” toni says in a small voice, pressing a kiss to her collarbone as cheryl’s hands smooth over the bandaged area of her kidney. she rests her lips against toni’s forehead with a smile, closing her eyes in content as one arm moves up to hug around her shoulders and pull her closer. 

 

“i love you too…i’ll never get tired of saying it, toni. or hearing it.” she whispers. toni hums softly and smiles into alabaster skin as she dances her fingers up and down cheryl’s stomach.

 

“then i’ll never stop saying it. i love you, cheryl.” she says softly, relishing in the way cheryl chuckles beneath her, and toni hesitates before she looks up at cheryl with a sigh of worry. 

 

"are you scared? about meeting the twins next week?" she asks in a soft voice. cheryl's eyes widen before she lets out a shaky breath and nods once.

 

"yes. they're jason's babies...i don't even know how to begin to process that. but i want to meet them, toni, i...i _need_ to meet them. they're my family just as much as he was." she whispers. toni smiles proudly and nods once before she presses a kiss to cheryl's jaw.

 

"cher, do...do you want me to come with you to meet them? i can stay at the lakeside if you want a moment alone with them-." cheryl raises a finger to her lips to silence her with a smile.

 

"don't be ridiculous, t.t. of course you're coming with me. they have to meet their auntie toni, after all." she says simply, and _fuck_ , toni feels nothing but light and warmth spread through her at those words, nothing but love and affection as she throws caution to the wind and grips cheryl's face, kissing her deeply before pain rips through her side and she pulls away with a sharp gasp. cheryl looks up at her with a deep frown.

 

“be gentle, t.t. are you okay, does it hurt?” she murmurs, running her fingers over the bandage again. toni purses her lips and hesitates before answering truthfully.

 

“not really. the pain just kind of comes and goes in waves…but i don’t want to take any pain pills anymore, cheryl…” toni trails off, her fingers moving up to trace over cheryl’s collarbone as the blossom girl begins running her fingers up and down her bare spine.

 

“why, t.t? they helped you a lot.” she croaks out. toni inhales sharply, blinking back her tears, and she buries her face into cheryl’s neck, not wanting to face her girlfriend as she utters the next second with nothing but regret and guilt.

 

“because i started t-taking them a lot in the f-four days we spent apart.” she whispers. cheryl gasps in her ear, her hold on toni tightening for the briefest moment before the pink haired serpent whines and shakes her head, burying it deeper into cheryl’s neck.

 

“after seeing what addiction d-did to uncle jake, i…i can’t fall d-down that same p-path, cher…my whole family s-suffers from addiction, i c-can’t let that happen-.”

 

“shh, shh, we won’t…we’ll make sure it doesn’t happen, toni.” cheryl croaks out, her lips moving down to patter soothing kisses along her temple and brow as she wraps her arms around toni and pulls her on top of her, and toni can think of nothing else to do but kiss her.

 

_**we.** did you hear that, toni? **we.** she’s not going anywhere…_

 

“i love you, baby.” toni whispers against her lips. cheryl smiles and kisses her back, her fingers moving up to rake through toni’s hair gently as her lips move to trail across her cheek in gentle kisses.

 

“i love you, too. thank you for telling me that. i’m glad you’re being honest with me.” she says hoarsely, puling back and tucking toni’s hair behind her ears. toni nods numbly with a soft hum as she closes her eyes.

 

“i’m not gonna lie to you again, cher. ever…and i don’t think i can fight something like this on my own.” she croaks out. cheryl frowns and licks her lips before one hand moves back down to her bandaged wound.

 

“if it’s hurting though, t.t…” 

 

“it’s not, cheryl, i promise. it’s mostly bad in the mornings, but as soon as i start moving around it gets better.” toni says truthfully, smiling as cheryl does as well before she nods.

 

“okay…then when you wake up, wake me up so i can help you, okay? i know you like putting on a brave face, but you know now that you can let that down with me.” cheryl says softly. toni nods once and leans down to peck her lips gently.

 

“i know. i’ll wake you up, i promise.” she whispers. cheryl simply smiles happily and pulls toni back down to her chest with a tired sigh.

 

“good. i love you, toni. sweet dreams, ma cherie.” she whispers. 

 

toni simply smiles and closes her eyes lazily, happy to be back home where she belongs, in the arms of the love of her life...with the woman she adored.

 

“goodnight, cher.”


	13. you have my heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooooof, this is like a dramatic chapter but it's also super fluffy and heartbreaking? not in a choni sense, but more in a "god cheryl's been through a fucking lot hasn't she" sense? i dunno, i'm rambling, HERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER.
> 
> if you don't know already, i have a twitter, you can find me at @endofdaysforme where i post updates about my writing and also just cry about choni, which is always fun, lmao.
> 
> please leave comments letting me know what you think! love you guys!

“okay, i think it’s done.”

 

cheryl smooths the new bandage over toni’s wound, wincing when the girl lets out a sharp gasp of pain before she presses her lips to the skin beside the bandage lightly in a gentle kiss.

 

“i’m sorry.” she whispers, sadness filling her eyes, and toni tucks a finger under her chin and lifts her gaze up with a smile and a shake of her head.

 

“not your fault. thank you for helping me, baby…” toni whispers back. the last time she tried to change her bandage herself at her grandfather’s, she almost threw up from the pain. granted she was fighting off a fever and dehydration, but still…

 

“mmm, you’re welcome. any pain?” cheryl murmurs, pressing another kiss to her skin as toni runs her fingers through her red hair fondly. 

 

“just a little, but it’s manageable. i think it’s really on it’s way to healing, cher…” toni says optimistically, her grin only widening as she leans down to press a kiss to cheryl’s lips. cheryl sighs against her happily before she straightens and puts away the bandages back into the first aid kit as toni grabs her serpent jacket and slides it on.

 

“good. it’s progress, t.t. but if you need those pills-.”

 

“i don’t need them, cheryl.” toni takes cheryl’s hands into her own, sighing as she presses a kiss to her knuckles before cradling her cheek with her hand. cheryl licks her lips before she leans in to kiss her, brushing her thumb over her bottom lip when she pulls away after a few moments.

 

“i’m sorry, i know i’m being overbearing and overprotective-.”

 

“mmm, you are, but i don’t blame you…you just don’t want me to be in any pain, i understand that. but i’m not in any pain, okay? i promise.” toni says softly, tapping the tip of cheryl’s nose with a finger and grinning when the red haired girl rolls her eyes, but smiles all the same.

 

“okay. i believe you.” toni quickly pecks her lips.

 

“good. we ready to go?” toni asks, wrapping her arms around her waist and watching her with a soft smile.

 

“mhmm, are you sure you can ride your bike?” cheryl asks, turning in her arms a little to close the first aid kit as toni shrugs.

 

“won’t know until we try it. come on.” toni interlaces their fingers, dragging cheryl along and laughing when the girl whines about the first aid kit almost dropping off the vanity. 

 

the last two days have been utter bliss, cheryl only disappearing to go to school on friday before scurrying back home to spend the rest of it curled up against toni as they watched movies and just…talked. for hours on end, about everything and nothing. toni almost felt nostalgic about it, flashing back to the days when they first started to get to know each other. that first night at pop’s when cheryl had told toni about heather and they spent hours talking afterwards, to the time when cheryl had spent two days straight ditching school to come and tend to toni after she’d been beaten to a pulp by her uncle…

 

toni winces at the thought of him, finds herself briefly wondering where he is now if he isn’t dead already. thomas hasn’t seen him since earlier this week, either, and toni remembers him telling her he only had a few weeks left…she feels like she should be trying to find him, but she quickly brushes the thought from her mind because cheryl was right. she said that he didn’t deserve an ounce of her sympathy after everything he’d done to her and god, she was right…

 

she quickly pushes those thoughts aside as she drags cheryl down the stairs toward the entrance, focusing instead on the fact that she’s about to ride her bike for the first time in so long…

 

“slow down, t.t.” cheryl says with a laugh, but toni’s excitement is making her almost quiver and shake with something other than anger or sadness or fear or sickness for the first time in _weeks._

 

she’s missed riding her bike so much, and now that the pain in her side is more manageable, she’s itching to get back on it, to drive her and cheryl around like they used to before everything blew up in their faces. 

 

toni almost groans at the sight of her bike in the driveway, skipping her way over and ignoring the way cheryl laughs at her before she swings a leg over the bike and settles down onto the seat. there’s no pain at all in her side, and she leans forward a little just to test out her flexibility before she grins up at cheryl widely.

 

“no pain! get your butt on here!” she says, waving her over impatiently, and cheryl rolls her eyes before she ducks back inside thistlehouse to grab their helmets. toni knows cheryl is worried about toni potentially hurting herself, she’s been trying to get the pink haired serpent to agree with her that they should wait another week, but toni’s stubborn, sue her. she wants back on her bike _now_ , not next week. 

 

cheryl locks the door behind her before she makes her way over to toni apprehensively, slipping on her helmet while passing toni’s over to her.

 

“toni, are you absolutely _sure-._ ”

 

“oh my god, cheryl, _yes!_ i’m gonna be fine, now come here.” toni sighs, curling her finger to beckon cheryl forward, and the red haired girl smiles before she leans in and presses a kiss to toni’s cheek, resting her hands on her shoulders as she swings her leg over the bike and presses her chest flush against toni’s back. toni smiles and puts her helmet on before she shoves the keys into the ignition, biting her lip to stop herself from cheering at the loud roar of the bike before the vibration beneath her slows to a soft rumble. 

 

“hi, baby…” she whispers, brushing her fingers over the handles happily as cheryl scoffs behind her and gives her hips a gentle squeeze.

 

“it’s a bike, toni.” she grumbles.

 

“what, you jealous i’m calling it ‘baby’?” toni teases, smirking over her shoulder at her girlfriend, who simply lifts a hand and flicks toni’s nose with her finger and scrunches her face with a smile.

 

“maybe…” she mutters before leaning forward and resting her chin on toni’s shoulder. toni slowly pulls out of the driveway with a chuckle, going slow at first just to make sure she really is at a hundred percent to ride, and when no pain comes, she grins and accelerates faster, cheering when cheryl wraps her left arm around her waist and keeps her right hand on toni’s shoulder to avoid hurting her wound. 

 

it takes her mind off of where they’re heading: the lakeside. f.p had messaged cheryl last night telling the both of them that there was an urgent serpent meeting in the morning, and toni knows it has everything to do with the decision revolving around jughead and his future as serpent king.

 

she isn’t even sure how she feels about it. part of her knows she’ll feel heartbroken for jughead if they end up revoking his stance as leader, but another part of her thinks that jughead’s in way over his head. he’s too emotional to be a leader, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing, but the serpents need someone levelheaded. 

 

_maybe f.p should just take the leadership role back…everything was good when he was leader…_

 

she feels guilty, thinking such a thing, because f.p had been leading the serpents for so long and after everything the man’s been through, he deserves a break, but jughead was just…too _young._ fuck, they all were, and as much as they’re the next generation of serpents, they’re also still just _kids._

 

toni tries to take her mind off it as she speeds down the road, simply embracing the euphoria of being back on her bike with cheryl’s body pressed against hers. they used to go for joyrides all the time, especially in the month after cheryl had become a serpent and renovation on the speakeasy hadn’t begun yet. it feels so _good_ to just be back in her element with her girlfriend right behind her, and when cheryl’s helmet knocks against toni’s as she adjusts herself at a stoplight, toni laughs loudly, which prompts cheryl to whine about toni teasing her as she slaps a hand on top of her helmet in reprimand, toni feeling nothing but elation that things are slowly getting back to normal for them.

 

she’s missed cheryl so much…even before those four days they spent apart. ever since the incident, it felt like something between them was missing, but as much as toni has no idea what that something is, she can feel it slowly coming back. maybe because the fear was starting to fade now that the reality that toni is still alive is settling in? she isn’t sure, but all she does know is that nothing was going to tear them apart now. they’d officially managed to get through the worst possible thing imaginable happening…at this point they were unstoppable. 

 

they pull up to the lakeside much too soon for toni’s liking, but she relishes in the fact that they can enjoy another joyride when they head back home, contemplates maybe taking cheryl for a ride to the cliffside near sweetwater river just for a moment alone together with the stars as they pull up to the lakeside, where they’re immediately greeted by fangs and sweet pea making their way over to them.

 

“about time!” fangs says with a grin, laughing when cheryl rolls her eyes and simply jumps off the bike a little haphazardly, collapsing into his arms with a huff.

 

“shut it, toni was enjoying her first time on her bike in weeks.” cheryl says, pulling away from him with a warm smile before turning to look at toni.

 

“is it working okay? we checked it and everything-.” fangs starts, but toni, who swings her leg off the bike and takes her helmet off with a grin, shakes her head and winks at him.

 

“works like a dream. thanks, fangs.” she says softly, hanging her helmet on the handles of the bike as she turns to see sweet pea lean over and tap the top of cheryl’s helmet that she’s still wearing.

 

“i’ll never get tired of seeing you wear this, red. you look so adorable!” he says with a cheeky grin. cheryl glares up at him before she wallops him in the stomach with the palm of her hand, sweet pea stepping back to dodge it with a bark of laughter, and cheryl huffs and takes the helmet off before crossing her arms over her chest.

 

“adorable, maybe, but i wear a southside serpent jacket just like you do, so i’m not to be trifled with.” she growls lightly, gripping the lapels of said red jacket between her fingers and straightening it out, and sweet pea simply shrugs.

 

“yeah, but you wear it _adorably._ ” he grins. cheryl’s expression immediately turns stony.

 

“that’s it-.” she drops the helmet, the loud thunk echoing as it hits the ground, and guns straight for sweet pea, who laughs and dances away before cheryl jumps onto his back with a loud huff and playfully ruffles his hair with both hands, sweet pea’s hands gripping her legs to keep her stable as he laughs louder.

 

“sweet pea, stop aggravating my girlfriend, please!” toni sighs dramatically, grinning all the same at the sight before her as fangs bends down to pick up the helmet and rests it on the other handle of toni’s bike with a shake of his head and a chuckle.

 

“i’m-gonna-kill you-peapod-.” cheryl grunts, her face contorted in fake rage as sweet pea makes a weak attempt to shake her off, wrapping her arms around his neck in a light chokehold, and sweet pea pretends to choke, gasping for air with a stupid grin on his face as toni and fangs watch them with laughter.

 

cheryl looks so carefree in this moment, it melts toni’s heart. she knows that despite how much cheryl loved jason, they never used to play around like this as kids, cheryl confessing to toni many times the severe and disciplined upbringing they had where nothing was seen as a game and everything needed to be _perfect_ , including their behavior. she’s glad that cheryl can get some semblance of a childhood with sweet pea and fangs, the two of them have been like brothers to toni for years, the fact that they were treating cheryl like a sister only warms her heart further. 

 

“i got your back, red!” fangs runs forward and begins throwing gentle hooks to sweet pea’s chest, and the raven haired boy growls at him and kicks a leg out at him as cheryl continues to cling onto his back before he looks at toni with wide eyes.

 

“a little help, tiny!?” he pants, dodging fangs while cheryl slaps a palm over his cheek with a grin as he winces and cries out, and toni simply leans against her bike and shrugs.

 

“oh man, i’d love to, but uh…injured, y’know?” she says, pointing at her side with a wicked grin and crossing her arms over her chest. sweet pea gives her the middle finger just as the sound of a door opening loudly pulls her attention, and she looks toward the source of the noise to see f.p exiting his trailer, watching the sight before him with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

 

“as entertaining as this is, i’m gonna need you guys to get over here!” he calls out, chuckling as cheryl grumbles and loosens her hold around sweet pea’s neck. she’s about to jump off his back, but sweet pea instead tightens his hold on her legs around his waist with a laugh and piggybacks her over to f.p, toni and fangs following behind them with a grin etched on both their faces. f.p makes his way down the steps of his trailer, coming to a stop in front of the four serpents with a deep sigh.

 

“thomas and i have come to a decision about jughead.” he says firmly. toni’s heart immediately drops, but before she can say anything, f.p nods to sweet pea and fangs.

 

“you boys gather the other serpents, tell them to come to the bonfire in five minutes. we’ll make the announcement as soon as everyone arrives.” he says, frowning slightly before he purses his lips and nods at the two boys. toni bites down on her bottom lip anxiously as cheryl slowly slides off sweet pea’s back, a similar look of worry on her face before the two boys simply nod at f.p in confirmation and begin making their way from trailer to trailer to round up the other serpents. 

 

she knew it had to do with jughead…god, what did they decide? 

 

“you look worried, f.p.” cheryl says hollowly, her eyes watching him carefully, and the former serpent king simply sighs and runs his fingers through his hair before he nods toward the trailer behind him.

 

“i’m not worried, kid. just…surprised, more than anything. we’ve spoken to him about it and he isn’t happy, but he has no choice. thomas is an elder, what he says, goes. but he seems to be getting his head screwed on now, because what he said in there…makes a lot of sense.” f.p says, looking at cheryl with a look in his eyes that toni can’t really comprehend, but it has her licking her lips before she moves closer to her girlfriend, wrapping an arm around her waist and curling up into her side as cheryl presses a kiss to her temple and rubs her hand up and down toni’s back affectionately. 

 

was jughead’s crown seriously on the chopping block here? toni knows she shouldn’t be feeling guilty about it, but if she hadn’t of gotten stabbed, then it wouldn’t be in jeopardy in the first place…

 

then again, jughead was the one who kind of put her life in danger in the first place…

 

_you went along with him, toni-_

 

god, she’s so sick of thinking about this all the time, trying to shift the blame when the truth is, there is no one to blame but penny. she’s the one who grabbed a knife and stabbed toni, not anyone else…

 

toni inhales sharply, but says nothing more, keeping her thoughts to herself as f.p gives them both a firm nod and makes his way back into his trailer. cheryl sighs loudly beside her before she wraps her arms around toni’s shoulders and pulls her in close to her embrace, resting her chin on top of toni’s head lightly.

 

“whatever happens, toni, don’t blame yourself for it. jughead made his choice, and it almost resulted in your death. there has to be consequences.” cheryl murmurs into her ear, and toni purses her lips and simply nods before she buries her head into cheryl’s neck, pressing a kiss to the warm skin there as she squeezes cheryl’s waist tightly. 

 

god, how the fuck does this girl just seem to _know_ what she’s thinking at all times? it’s not normal, the wavelength she and cheryl are on…it’s beyond just a relationship, it’s something so spiritual…they’re just _connected._ there’s no other word for it…

 

but in the back of her mind, through all the other thoughts, toni knows cheryl is right. jughead may not have broken any serpent laws, and he didn’t purposefully put a serpent’s life in danger, but he still acted on impulse…if he had just brought sweet pea, fangs and cheryl with them, maybe none of this would’ve happened. but then it would’ve put cheryl’s life in danger as well, and toni’s not sure she would’ve been able to handle that…

 

“are you okay?” cheryl whispers, pulling back to cradle toni’s face in her hands, eyes searching her own for answers to the question she’s asked, and toni smiles and leans up to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth, her girlfriend’s worry for her warming her heart as it always does.

 

“yeah…it’s just that this is a big deal, cher. i don’t think a serpent king has ever just been voted out. and jughead’s not a bad leader, he’s just-”

 

“too rash with his decisions.” cheryl finishes her sentence for her, pursing her lips as she does and causing toni to smile fondly before she nods in agreement. 

 

“yeah…he doesn’t think things through, he’s just so impulsive. i know he’s just worried about archie, we all are, but he can’t let his emotions cloud his judgement with stuff like this. he should’ve taken the time to think it through, and i should’ve convinced him to bring you and sweet pea and fangs with us, it’s just…i don’t know, cher. i just hope they aren’t too hard on him…” toni says softly, and cheryl sighs before she presses a kiss to toni’s brow, her fingers raking through her pink hair delicately.

 

“you’re too nice for your own good, t.t. if it was me who got stabbed because of jughead, i wouldn’t be so forgiving.” she murmurs against her skin. toni chuckles and simply melts into cheryl’s embrace, the both of them enjoying each other’s company for a few moments before toni pulls back and looks up at her in wonder. 

 

“do you still want them to kick him out?” she asks hoarsely, a part of her dreading cheryl’s answer, and the red haired girl bites down on her bottom lip before she sighs and brushes her thumbs over toni’s cheekbones.

 

“i haven’t forgiven him, toni. and i don’t think i ever will.” she says simply. toni frowns and reaches her hands up to curl her fingers around cheryl’s wrists.

 

“you said the same thing about f.p, remember?” she murmurs. cheryl winces at those words, perhaps remembering f.p’s involvement in her brother’s death before she simply shakes her head.

 

“f.p’s kept his promise and done everything in his power to keep you safe, he didn’t throw you into danger. he was willing to give up the whole southside for you and me, he cares about us.” toni goes to open her mouth, but cheryl raises a finger to silence her.

 

“and before you start, _yes_ , i know jughead cares about us too. but it’s not about that, toni, it’s the fact that he doesn’t _think_ things through before he does them. if he keeps acting like this, he’s going to get us all killed. we shouldn’t have to fear our leader putting our lives in danger.” cheryl says with a tone of finality that has toni licking her lips before she nods once in agreement.

 

“i know…i agree. but i don’t want him to be kicked out of the serpents, cher…he’s family at the end of the day, and if they kick him out, where will he go?” toni says with worry, looking up at cheryl in desperation, and her girlfriend smiles and leans in to press her lips to toni’s forehead.

 

“cousin betty will take him in, i’m sure…but i don’t think you need to worry about that, t.t. he’s f.p’s son, i don’t think they’re just going to throw him to the wolves…think rationally, babe.” she murmurs. toni sighs against her before she nods, gripping the lapels of cheryl’s jacket before burying her face into cheryl’s neck, breathing in her scent as her girlfriend rubs her hands up and down toni’s back gently.

 

she knows she’s being a little crazy, thinking that jughead was just going to be left out in the dirt when that’s definitely not going to be the case, but at the end of the day, if jughead hadn’t been there, toni would’ve _died._ jughead is the one who applied pressure to her wounds and kept her talking while they waited for an ambulance. jughead is the one who asked her stupid questions like what she loved the most about being a serpent, and less stupid questions, like getting her to list the things she loved about cheryl…

 

_“come on, toni! just stay with m-me, okay? t-tell me, t-tell me the things you love about cheryl! what do you love about her, toni?”_

 

_“h-her heart…h-how m-much sh-she loves w-with her wh-whole h-heart…”_

 

_“yeah, she’s g-got a great heart…i always thought she was such a b-bitch but you bring out the best in her, t…go on, wh-what else, just keep talking, toni, come on…”_

 

tears spring to her eyes at the memories, distant and foggy as if they’re from some long lost dream, and she holds cheryl close to her body, pressing kiss after kiss to the skin of her neck and collarbones as cheryl giggles from the sensation and continues rubbing toni’s back with a soft hum, the vibrations from her throat tickling toni’s lips.

 

“t.t, we’re out in the open.” she murmurs, and toni ignores her, continues kissing the column of her throat over and over again before she hears the sound of footsteps. toni reluctantly pulls away to see fangs and sweet pea making their way over to them, the both of them with frowns on their faces and a horde of serpents slowly begin to march behind them.

 

“where’s f.p?” fangs calls out. toni sighs and nods toward the jones’s trailer, and fangs jumps up the steps as soon as he’s close enough before he knocks on the door and pulls back, stepping back in line with sweet pea and the other serpents as they begin to take their seats around the bonfire. it’s quiet for a few moments, some of the serpents murmuring amongst each other before the door opens, and f.p steps through with thomas right behind him, the both of them looking grim, but surprisingly relieved before toni sees jughead trailing behind her grandfather.

 

he looks…surprisingly content. there’s no denying he looks annoyed, his eyes stony and his lips pursed, but he doesn’t look as pissed off as toni expected him to be, leading her to think that maybe he hasn’t lost his serpent king title after all.

 

hope quickly floods her, and jughead makes his way down the steps after his father and the serpent elder, his jacket still around his shoulders as f.p and thomas move to the middle of the bonfire so they can address all the serpents equally. toni leads cheryl over to one of the logs by the fire, cheryl pulling toni into her lap as sweet pea and fangs also sit beside them, and thomas and f.p look around at each of the serpents to make sure everyone is there.

 

thomas makes eye contact with toni, and he smiles at her softly before he looks to f.p and gives him a simple nod. f.p takes a deep breath in before he grips jughead’s shoulder tightly and turns to address the other serpents, looking around at each of them before he clears his throat loudly.

 

“as we all know, an incident occurred a little over two weeks ago! one of our own, antoinette topaz, was almost killed in an attack by the ghoulies and penny peabody!” f.p calls out, his eyes landing on toni, who squirms a little in cheryl’s lap, her girlfriend gripping her waist gently before rubbing a calming hand up and down her thigh.

 

“jughead, in an…honest, but foolish attempt to save his best friend, archie andrews, from being convicted of murder, made a severe lapse in judgment that almost got himself and toni killed! it was a mistake…a foolish one, but a mistake nonetheless!” f.p pauses, clenching his jaw, and toni feels cheryl’s hand grip her own tightly, so she turns a little to look at her girlfriend, sees her watching jughead with stony eyes. toni licks her lips and leans in closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pressing her lips to cheryl’s temple. 

 

she doesn’t want cheryl to get angry about this again…they were moving past it and they were doing so well at it, too, the time for anger has passed…

 

cheryl simply sighs and pulls toni closer, one hand rubbing up her back and the other squeezing her hand as f.p continues talking.

 

“this is not how a serpent king is supposed to lead! a serpent king leads without emotions getting in the way! a serpent king leads with the intention first, of keeping all his people safe, and second, of making sure the serpents never die! a serpent king follows the laws, and leads by example! now, my boy, he…” f.p trails off, gripping jughead’s shoulder with a sigh, and jughead’s jaw clenches before he simply gives his dad a small smile and a nod. f.p purses his lips and shakes his head before looking around at everyone, and toni’s surprised to see tears in his eyes.

 

“my boy loves this crew! and he’ll never stop being sorry for what happened to toni! he made a mistake and it almost cost someone he cares about her life! a day hasn’t gone by since it happened where jughead hasn’t felt guilt for what occurred! he knows he screwed up here, which is why he’s accepted the punishment that’s been dealt to him!” f.p looks to thomas now, who looks to jughead with a frown. the serpent king squares his shoulders before he licks his lips and nods once, and thomas sighs before he turns to face the other serpents, his eyes shining in the firelight from the bonfire and causing a shiver to run up toni’s spine.

 

her grandfather always had strange energy that she could never quite understand…it was calming, but powerful at the same time, quick to instill peace, but also easy to bring fear to those he wanted to be afraid of him…

 

“as punishment for his mistakes, jughead jones, serpent king of the southside and of the family before us, has agreed to select someone to help him lead the serpents, so that they may continue to flourish and grow! the title of serpent king will remain his, but he must choose a second in command who will help him make any and all decisions that involve this family! decisions that must also first be approved by an elder or a former serpent king!” thomas yells out, his voice clear and concise as it echoes through the twilight sky.

 

toni hears cheryl inhale sharply, her own heart pounding in her ears as she tries to process the words that were just said. there’s murmuring all around them, some of the serpents grumbling in disapproval, but a majority of them nodding in agreement with this punishment, staring at jughead in disappointment and apprehension, and toni licks her lips and looks up at jughead to see his head is bowed, his gaze down to his shoes in what looks like defeat as thomas simply squeezes his shoulder sympathetically.

 

a second in command? that’s never really been done before, there was always a right hand man, someone the serpent king could confide in, but for someone to actually become a co-leader? who would this person even be? who would jughead choose to help him-

 

_oh shit. what if he chooses me?_

 

toni’s heart sinks down to her feet somewhere, the thought suddenly making her palms itch and sweat, and she exhales shakily, wanting nothing more than to bury her face into cheryl’s neck and disappear right now.

 

she can’t do that. no way, she’s not ready for something like that, and toni’s terrible at making decisions, _clearly_. she can’t help him lead the serpents, please don’t let him choose her…she already had the title of being the last descendant of the founders left, she doesn’t _want_ to lead them, too…

 

she’s got so much to think about, so much on her plate already, she can’t take this too. it’s too much…she doesn’t know how to lead, she’s more likely to _kill_ jughead than help him-

 

“the three of us have spent _days_ trying to decide who is worthy enough of taking this title of co-serpent leader. jughead has been adamant about one name and one name only from the beginning, and after much deliberation between myself and f.p, we’ve decided the person that he’s chosen is indeed worthy of helping him keep this family safe. this person is someone who cares about the serpents, who sees them as family…is someone we know we can rely on to help guide jughead to the right decisions.” thomas says loud and clear, looking at each of the serpents and lingering a little longer on cheryl and toni with a certain sparkle in his eyes that has toni biting back a groan before he looks to jughead and gives him an encouraging nod.

 

jughead’s eyes widen before he blinks several times and takes a deep breath in, looking around at the other serpents before he clears his throat and bows his head guiltily. 

 

“i failed. as your serpent king, as your leader…as your friend. i failed all of you, and i can never apologize enough for what i’ve done. i screwed up. i know i did, and i take full responsibility for almost costing toni her life. as a result of my mistakes, i accept this punishment, and agree to having a second in command, someone who i know can keep me grounded…someone who i know can help me lead this family.” jughead calls out, clenching his jaw repeatedly as he turns back to look at f.p and thomas, both of whom smile and nod at him.

 

toni watches with bated breath, and she slowly moves herself off of cheryl’s lap, choosing instead to sit beside her as she bounces her leg up and down nervously, only stopping when cheryl rests a hand on her thigh to stop her. she feels a wave of calm hit her, but it fades as quickly as it appears when jughead closes his eyes and takes a deep breath in before he’s making his way over to where cheryl, toni, sweet pea and fangs are sitting on the log. 

 

_fuck, please, don’t choose me, please jughead, don’t choose me-_

 

jughead stares between the four of them before he turns-

 

and extends his hand out to cheryl.

 

toni blinks a few times, her heart pounding in her ears, and she has to physically stop herself from groaning in relief, but the truth is, relief is not what she’s feeling right now.

 

no, she’s even _more_ worried.

 

surprised murmurs of shock quickly fill the air, and cheryl looks equally nonplussed, staring down at jughead’s hand as if it’s contaminated with some kind of disease before she looks to toni in shock.

 

cheryl? he’s choosing _cheryl_ as his second in command?

 

_oh god, she’s gonna chew him out, why would he do this-_

 

“you’re the only person i trust to make me see things how they are, cheryl. you don’t sugarcoat things, and you don’t shy away from putting me in my place. if anyone can help me lead, it’s you. besides…i want to take this chance to show you that i’ve learned from my mistake.” jughead murmurs, giving her a small smile, and looking down at his extended hand as if to ask cheryl to take it. 

 

she simply stares at him, still in shock as she grips toni’s hand instead, squeezing it tightly before she finally stammers out a response.

 

“m-me? jughead, i…”

 

“i know you hate me right now, cheryl. but the serpents are your family. from before you even put that serpent jacket on, you’ve seen us all as family…and you put us first before anything, something all the qualities of a leader should have. i’m hoping you’ll do the same now and put aside your differences with me to help keep everyone safe, to help me make the right decisions instead of the wrong ones.” he says softly, pursing his lips and looking to toni guiltily before he nods down at his hand once again. 

 

cheryl looks at it, eyes still wide before she swallows thickly and looks to toni in desperation for an answer on what to do.

 

toni has no idea what to say or do or how to respond.

 

cheryl helping to lead the serpents? it’s…fuck, it’s an amazing idea, cheryl loves the serpents, toni knows she does. they gave her a home, they gave her the family she’s always wanted but never had, and all of them loved her just as much as they loved toni, but _fuck_ , this was such a huge decision to make, and it’s not like she was jughead’s biggest fan right now…

 

toni can’t make this choice for her.

 

“do what you think is right, baby.” toni whispers, smiling encouragingly at her. cheryl looks to her with worry, as if she’s not quite sure what she thinks is right, isn’t quite sure of anything right now, but a few moments pass, toni wondering what’s going on in her girlfriend’s mind before cheryl licks her lips and turns back to jughead with her head held high.

 

she hesitates for only a few more seconds before she suddenly stands, her heels making her tower over jughead as she looks down at him and purses her lips-

 

and nods.

 

“i accept your offer, serpent king. i promise to do everything i can to help you keep this family safe. i agree to put my differences aside and help you make the right decisions for this crew. in unity, there is strength.” she says firmly, causing the other serpents to respond with the same words.

 

“in unity, there is strength!” they chant, the sky echoing with their words, and jughead smiles as she takes his outstretched hand, giving it a firm squeeze and a shake. toni’s heart warms at the loud cheer that takes over the camp, at sweet pea and fangs, who also cheer and begin clapping loudly, but toni doesn’t miss the serpents who frown, the ones who watch on in disapproval... 

 

but it doesn’t matter…it doesn’t matter because f.p and thomas are both grinning, clearly in agreement of cheryl’s new position with the serpents before f.p claps his hands and yells loudly over the cheerful roars of those around him.

 

“alright! in that case, i think this is cause for celebration! let’s get some music playing, shall we?!”

 

\-----------

 

it’s uncomfortably silent.

 

cheryl doesn’t do well with uncomfortable silences, years of uncomfortable silences usually leading to a tirade of physical or verbal abuse from penelope blossom, and the one currently flooding the jones’s trailer has been going on for at least five minutes now, which means it’s hitting dangerous levels of tension now.

 

cheryl has no idea what to say or do or even think. 

 

second in command? she’s officially co-leading the serpents with jughead jones, the boy who almost got the love of her life killed? the boy who she’s slapped at least ten times over now in her life, the boy who she regularly called a hobo? a boy who, in all honesty, she has never and probably will never get along with?

 

why the _fuck_ did she accept his offer?

 

co-leading? with _jughead_ of all people? after everything he’s done? after the history they have together? 

 

god, she shouldn’t have accepted his offer, this was such a big mistake-

 

“cheryl? what’s on your mind?” thomas asks suddenly, pulling cheryl out of her thoughts, and she exhales shakily, blinking blearily up at the serpent elder before she looks up at jughead, who is watching her hesitantly, as if he’s afraid she’s going to take back her acceptance of his offer.

 

she can’t deny that she’s tempted to.

 

she can’t co-lead. being head cheerleader and captain of the river vixens is a completely different ballpark to something like this. what the hell was jughead thinking, choosing her? wouldn’t toni be more suited for the job? the girl was born into the serpents, was practically royalty because of her bloodline, she should be the one co-leading, not cheryl.

 

“cheryl, i know you’re scared-.” jughead starts, but cheryl grips toni’s hand beside her tightly and shakes her head.

 

“i’m not scared, jughead, i’m confused. i don’t understand why you’ve chosen me. i’ve barely been a serpent for a month or two now, giving me this position-.”

 

“is the right choice.” jughead interrupts firmly. cheryl purses her lips and frowns, more out of annoyance at being interrupted than anything, and jughead sighs and runs his fingers through his hair as he steps closer to her and toni where they’re sitting on the couch. he settles down on the coffee table in front of them, watching the the red haired girl with a smile on his face.

 

“you’ve never been afraid to tell me off for being stupid, or idiotic, cheryl. archie and betty and veronica…they always sugarcoat things so i don’t get mad, and sweet pea just threatens to punch my face in, but you? you tell me to my face that the choices i’ve made aren’t the right ones. you tell me to my face to be better, to learn from my actions instead of threatening me or telling me i just made a mistake. there’s no one better i could’ve thought of but you.” he says with a firm nod, and cheryl simply scoffs.

 

what is he talking about? cheryl said those things because she _hated him,_ not because she was trying to teach him a lesson or get him to better himself, that seemed impossible at this point.

 

“i wasn’t attempting to teach you a lesson, jughead, i was trying to get you to open your eyes to what you’d done-.”

 

“exactly! you helped me see the bigger picture, cheryl! and you did it without hitting me, which is a goddamn miracle, as far as i’m concerned.” cheryl glares at him.

 

“trust me, i very much wanted to.” she growls.

 

“are you forgetting how many times she slapped you outside the hospital, jug?” f.p says with a chuckle, and jughead rolls his eyes and shrugs.

 

“i deserved it. hell, i _still_ deserve an ass kicking for it. but cheryl…i know that with you by my side, with you helping me make the decisions that need to be made, i can become a better leader. as much as there’s animosity between us, i know you’ll do whatever it takes to make sure the serpents survive. you care about them almost as much as you care about toni.” he says, eyes flicking to the pink haired serpent beside her. cheryl bites down on her bottom lip, feelings of insecurity and doubt still flooding her.

 

she can’t do this, can she?

 

toni’s fingers interlace with her own before a gentle kiss is being placed on her brow, and cheryl closes her eyes at toni’s touch, sighing shakily before toni brushes her hair back from her neck with nimble fingers.

 

“baby, you’re a natural born leader, and you know it. besides, he’s right, the only one who can keep him in check is _you._ sweet pea’s a hotheaded mess, fangs has a tendency to take everything as a joke-.”

 

“thanks, tiny.” sweet pea and fangs grumble, and toni simply grins at them and gives them a wink before she continues.

 

“and there’s no one else in the crew that jughead connects with.” she finishes. cheryl rolls her eyes and looks at her pointedly.

 

“what about _you,_ toni? you’d be perfect for this job, the serpents are your blood, your family is practically royalty-.”

 

“and isn’t that enough? the topaz family decided a long time ago that those who founded shouldn’t lead. right, grandpa?” toni says, looking up at thomas with a smile, and the serpent elder chuckles before he bows his head to cheryl.

 

“we did…having too much power can lead to corruption, can get to your head. it’s why i decided not to take the mantle as serpent king when it was offered to me. being a founder and the leader…greed is the most deadliest sin of all.” he says wisely, his voice rough but filled with power, and cheryl licks her lips nervously.

 

she knows it makes sense, but still…she wasn’t suited for this job. she can’t just come waltzing in to take the mantle as second in command when she hasn’t even been a serpent for that long, can she?

 

toni sighs beside her and squeezes her hands, which are clasped firmly in her own.

 

“cher, baby, you can do this. as much as you two butt heads, you and jughead make a good team. he can rely on you-.”

 

“yes, he can, but is the reverse true as well? can i rely on him?” cheryl says, a slight bite to her tone as she turns her attention to jughead, who clenches his jaw and simply stares at her.

 

“can i rely on you?” she reiterates firmly. part of her doesn’t even need an answer, because she knows she can’t, the boy almost got toni killed for god’s sake, but everything is riding on her shoulders right now, and deep down, she knows toni is right.

 

she does work well with jughead on the occasion that they have to work together, and if toni wasn’t willing to take the job…

 

jughead simply bows his head once.

 

“you can. i promise, cheryl. i won’t work against you, i’ll work _with_ you. i’m not the serpent king on my own anymore, i have a queen-.”

 

“do _not_ call me your queen, i will actually gag.” cheryl growls immediately before the word even finishes leaving his mouth, bile actually rising in the back of her throat at the thought of being jughead’s _anything_ as jughead laughs and grins at her.

 

“knew you’d hate that. fine, not a queen, but at least an advisor. someone who i can trust with my life, and who i’m hoping, will one day once again trust me with theirs. i know i need to earn that respect back, cheryl. that’s what i’m hoping us working together will do.” he says softly. cheryl exhales shakily, biting down on her bottom lip as she contemplates his words.

 

jughead was impulsive, true. he was selfish, acted on instinct and did things that sometimes got himself and others into deep shit. very true.

 

but god, if betty cooper can’t change him, then how the hell is cheryl supposed to?

 

_you don’t have to change him, cheryl. you just have to help stop him from self-destructing and taking the serpents down with him. do you know how much power you have with this position? no serpent mission happens without **your** approval as well. he can’t make bad decisions anymore, everything needs to be approved by you, thomas and f.p! you **have** to do this, cheryl, not just for the serpents, but toni as well._

 

cheryl closes her eyes, takes a moment to breathe before she licks her lips, sinking back onto the couch that she spent so many nights sleeping on next to toni when she’d been rescued from the sisters of quiet mercy…

 

the memories hit her all at once, a slight smile forming on her lips before she can help herself as words from so long ago echo in her mind.

 

_“toni, if i’m being honest…having you by my side, i feel like i can get through anything.”_

 

_“then i’ll stand by it. forever, if i have to.”_

 

“cher?” she opens her eyes at the sound of toni’s voice, turns to see her girlfriend staring at her with inquiring eyes, wondering what’s going on her mind before cheryl turns to jughead and nods once.

 

“okay. i’ll be your second in command. whatever it takes to keep the serpents alive.” jughead grins widely, turns to look at his father, who lets out a deep sigh of relief before he walks over and bends down in front of cheryl, gripping her shoulder as he does.

 

“thomas and i wouldn’t have agreed to this if we didn’t think you were capable, cheryl. you’re a good kid, despite all the shit you’ve been through…it’s a goddamn miracle you’re still standing. and it’s not like either of you are alone in this, you’ve got thomas and i to fall back on as well, alright? anything you need, you talk to us.” f.p says, looking between the second in command and the serpent king repeatedly with a firm frown on his face. 

 

cheryl and jughead both nod once to indicate that they understand, and f.p purses his lips before he stands and runs his fingers through his hair with a sigh.

 

“alright, then that’s all there is to it. it’s getting late and you kids have school tomorrow…get home, get some rest. we’ll see you all back here in the afternoon.” he says with a tone of finality that has cheryl sighing before she jumps up and takes toni’s hand in her own. she simply nods once at jughead before she passes sweet pea and fangs, brushing a hand down their arms with a smile before sweet pea bends down to press a kiss to her hair.

 

“you’ve got this, red.” he says simply in her ear, and cheryl smiles fondly and reaches a hand up to cradle his cheek before she does the same to fangs, the brown haired boy simply smiling at her and curling his fingers around her wrist to give it a gentle squeeze. 

 

“we’ll see you guys tomorrow.” toni mumbles to the boys, giving them a two fingered salute before she lets go of cheryl’s hand to skip over to her grandfather. she gives him a kiss on the cheek before reconnecting with cheryl, the both of them stepping out of the jones’s trailer and making their way over to toni’s bike. toni leads her around the back of the trailer to avoid any of the other serpents, and cheryl is grateful.

 

she kind of just wants to go home right now….

 

toni doesn’t say a single word, just hands cheryl her helmet and jumps onto her bike as she shoves her own one onto her head, and cheryl blinks in surprise, feeling a little bewildered before she clambers onto the bike behind toni, who takes off without hesitation, her bike roaring to life beneath their bodies as she speeds back to thistlehouse.

 

oh god…she’s upset. cheryl _knew_ she’d be, and why shouldn’t she be? toni’s been a serpent for years and yet _cheryl_ was being handed the second in command position? toni has every right to be pissed off, cheryl shouldn’t have accepted the fucking offer-

 

it dawns on cheryl that they’re heading in the wrong direction, not toward thistlehouse, but sweetwater river, and she frowns and is about to ask toni what’s going on when toni suddenly turns right and begins driving up toward the cliffside.

 

cheryl’s heart catches in her throat. they haven’t been here together in a long time…since the beginning of the year, when f.p had been about to be released from prison and toni had brought her up to the cliffside to help her clear her mind, the both of the laying down on a blanket and simply staring up at the stars as cheryl had told toni _everything_ she was feeling…

 

toni must be so upset, why else would she be bringing her here, fuck...

 

toni’s bike comes to a stop at the top of the cliffside, the bike rumbling to a stop before she swings off the bike and takes her helmet off. cheryl follows suite hesitantly, but toni is smiling at her.

 

_oh...maybe she's not upset..._

 

toni takes her hand and simply leads her over to the patch of grass near the cliff face. 

 

“we don’t have a blanket this time, but still…i figured you'd need a moment alone with your thoughts. but i'm right here with you, so whenever you're ready, cher...” toni says with a chuckle and an encouraging smile, slowly settling herself down on the grass, and cheryl hesitates before she sighs and sinks down beside her, never removing her hand from toni’s as she focuses her gaze up to the stars twinkling above her.

 

the cliffside was the only place with no light pollution in riverdale where you could see every single inch of the sky, and god, does it look absolutely _gorgeous_ right now. cheryl feels herself immediately beginning to calm down at the sight of just so many stars twinkling above her, a shaky exhale escaping her as they simply lay there for a few minutes, hand in hand, and…observe.

 

cheryl hadn’t even known about this place until toni had brought her in the beginning of the year…she so wishes she had known about it. jason always loved stargazing, if he had known this place existed…

 

it hurts cheryl’s heart, to think about the many times she could’ve brought her brother up here. they used to spend so many nights driving around in the impala, talking and laughing with each other as they ate ice cream and looked at the stars. cheryl remembers how jason used to always point at the most visible one that night and say that that one was her, shining brighter than all the others…

 

_"that one's you, cheryl. that one right there is you..."_

 

she misses him. she misses him so goddamn much…what would jason think about all of this? about her and toni? about her not only being a southside serpent, but the goddamn second in command to the serpents now? 

 

_he’d want you to be happy, cheryl…you know that better than anyone. all jay jay ever wanted was for you to be happy…_

 

“cher?” toni’s voice is quiet, almost apprehensive, like she’s worried about what cheryl’s reaction will be, and the red haired girl simply squeezes her hand and closes her eyes, taking a deep breath in as she does.

 

_jason was brave until his dying moments, he stared daddy in the eyes as he shot him, and daddy killed him because he was a coward, too scared to be imprisoned for his crimes. which blossom would you rather be, cheryl?_

 

“i’m scared, toni. but…i know i can do this. jughead needs help, and i’m more than happy to give it to him.” cheryl croaks out. she feels toni stiffen slightly beside her before there’s movement, and when she opens her eyes, toni is hovering over her, one hand reaching up to brush her thumb across cheryl’s cheek affectionately as the world’s most earth shattering smile takes over her face.

 

“cheryl, i…the fact that you’re doing this, that you’re willing to put everything you feel about jughead aside to help my family, _our_ family…god, i just…” toni trails off, her voice shaking slightly before she looks into cheryl’s eyes with that goddamn smile still etched on her face.

 

cheryl can’t help the soft whimper that escapes her and she raises her hand to toni’s chest, placing it over her heart, where it’s beating erratically beneath cheryl’s fingertips.

 

“your heart’s beating so fast…” cheryl breathes, looking up at her in shock, and toni simply chuckles.

 

“of course it is…not to sound cheesy, but my heart’s always fucking pounding like this when i’m with you.” she says softly. cheryl smiles before she grips toni’s hand, placing it over her own heart and smiling when toni’s eyes widen at the soft, but fast thrumming of her heart beneath her fingers.

 

“so does mine.” she whispers back. toni’s bottom lip trembles before she lays herself on top of cheryl, bodies melding into one as she kisses her deeply, one hand cradling cheryl’s face while the other moves underneath her shirt to caress the soft, heated skin of her stomach, and cheryl simply trails her hands up and down toni’s sides with a soft whimper before the girl pulls back with a breathless gasp, her forehead resting against cheryl’s.

 

“you’re amazing, cheryl blossom. and i love you with all my heart.” she whispers hoarsely, voice thick with emotion. cheryl swallows the lump in her throat before she licks her lips and kisses toni once more, a gentle peck to rival the softness of her voice when she utters her next words.

 

“i love you too, antoinette topaz. and you have my heart. forever and always.” toni smiles and kisses her deeply, both their eyes fluttering shut as they lose themselves to the sensation of their lips moving against each other’s languidly, and god, cheryl has no idea how long they’re making out for before toni pulls away, cheeks flushed and lips swollen and bruised before she collapses on top of cheryl, her head resting against the red head’s chest.

 

cheryl sighs, teeth gnawing at her own bruised and swollen bottom lip before she begins running her fingers through toni’s hair, her gaze moving back up to the stars as her eyes meet the brightest one that’s shining, a wave of familiar calm washing over her at the sight of it, a stillness that only one person could ever bring her…

 

_that one’s you, jason. that one right there is you…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me add this, seeing as some people are skimming through the chapter instead of properly reading it. CHERYL IS NOT THE SERPENT QUEEN AS A RESULT OF THIS. She’s acting as Jughead’s advisor, someone he can consult in, along with pretty much F.P and Thomas. Got it? Cool.


	14. whatever you need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is fluffy and kind of a filler chapter, and the next chapter will be kind of a filler but also kind of important as well, but WHEW, WHEN I SAW FROM CHAPTER 16 ONWARDS, Y'ALL ARE IN FOR A WILD RIDE...
> 
> anyway, after the debacle that happened with the last chapter, i want to reiterate once more that CHERYL IS NOT THE SERPENT QUEEN. she is jughead's advisor and second in command, but in no way is she in any kind of authority role. she's just helping jughead not make stupid decisions because he makes a lot of them, in the show and in this fic. consistency is key.
> 
>  
> 
> leave comments letting me know what you think of this one! preferably nice ones, and even if you didn't enjoy this chapter, please dabble in CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM instead of calling my writing 'disgusting and wrong', maybe?
> 
> also, happy riverdale day, i'm ready for choni to kick my ass and make me their bitch with this episode, BYE

_“we love you, toni! be a good girl for grandpa and uncle jake, okay?”_

 

_“ant, you’re gonna fall, come down from the tree, angel!”_

 

_“i took you in when your parents died, i’ve treated you like my own for almost six years and for what? for you to disrespect me, huh? for you to treat my home like dirt?”_

 

_“i love you, antoinette topaz.”_

 

_“sorry, smurfette. it’s business, not personal.”_

 

_a sharp pain in her side, white lights before her feet are thundering on uneven ground she can’t see-_

 

_she trips over something, falling flat on her face before she feels something wet begin to nudge at her cheek, her hand reaching up blindly to grip something that feels strangely like fur before she looks up and sees bright golden eyes staring into her soul-_

 

toni thrashes wildly before her eyes fly open with a wild gasp, heavy breaths escaping her as she feels something jerk violently beside her-

 

“toni? are you okay?” gentle fingers wrap around her bicep as toni gulps down as much air as she can, trying to gather her bearings as she takes in the cream colored ceiling and the soft mattress beneath her body, the cold fingers gripping her bicep as she takes a deep breath in.

 

she’s home. she’s safe.

 

she closes her eyes before sitting up slowly with a wince as her hand touches her aching side and a soft voice whispers in her ear gently.

 

“the same nightmare?” cheryl murmurs, her voice thick with sleep as she rubs toni’s back soothingly. the pink haired serpent simply nods, breathing in deeply in an effort to calm herself and frowning as she falls to the side and collapses into cheryl’s arms tiredly.

 

four nights in a row now, she’s had the same dream. echoes of her mother, her father, her uncle jacob, cheryl and penny peabody, all these poignant moments in her life before she’s running through a white field with no idea of what’s in front of her or where she’s going. she trips, falls, and a wet snout nudges her cheek to get her to stand before she’s gripping fur between her fingers and looking into the golden eyes of a wolf.

 

she has no idea what this dream means, wishes more than anything it would stop, because it’s causing her to wake up at odd hours in the night and as a result, is rousing cheryl from her sleep as well, the girl immediately sensing toni’s distress and comforting her even in her deep state of unconsciousness. she hates that she’s doing this to cheryl, but she has no idea how to get the nightmares to stop.

 

but it’s not really a nightmare, is it? it’s just a strange dream that always leaves her feeling like she’s just run a marathon every time she wakes up from it…

 

“go back to bed, baby, i’m sorry.” toni mumbles, lifting her head up to press a kiss to cheryl’s jaw as the red head sighs tiredly against her, breath puffing against toni’s sweat soaked forehead.

 

“we should talk about it…” she murmurs, her jaw working to fight off a yawn, and toni smiles fondly as she pushes herself up to look at cheryl, the sight making her heart ache with fondness before she moves her lips up to cheryl’s temple to press a soft kiss there.

 

“i’ve already told you everything, baby. it’s just a weird dream, i’m okay…go back to sleep.” toni whispers against her skin. toni had told cheryl every little detail of the dream, there was nothing more to say…

 

cheryl’s eyelids are already drooping lazily as she slowly nods, and toni helps her fall back down onto her pillow, a chuckle escaping her as cheryl hums in content at being back amongst the soft pillow before she turns to get off the bed and makes her way to the bathroom. 

 

she flicks the light on, blinking rapidly at the brightness of it before she sighs and pulls her shorts down, almost collapsing onto the toilet tiredly.

 

what did this dream mean? she has no idea, she’s never really had dreams about wolves before, and why was she constantly hearing the echoes of her parents and cheryl? even more disturbing, uncle jake and penny peabody?

 

once she’s done, she heads to the sink and washes her hands before gently scooping some water into her hands and splashing her face, cupping the back of her neck and relishing in the freshness of the water that hits her skin there, dropping down her back and slightly soaking her tank top. she sighs and reaches for the hem of her shirt, lifting it slowly and gazing at the now bandage free wounds on her side.

 

not all the stitches have fallen out yet, some of them still marring her brown skin with jagged nylon, but it’s healing nicely, one scar larger than the other from what toni presumes is where the doctors cut her to get to her kidney to fix it.

 

scars that will now forever mark her flesh, forever remind her of the time she almost fell into death’s cold embrace…

 

she can almost feel the steel slicing through her skin again, and she winces and licks her lips before gently pressing her wet hand against the heated skin and brushing over the wounds gently, sighing in content as the pain from thrashing around from her dream settles into a dull throbbing. she closes her eyes before she takes a few deep breaths in, trying to clear her mind of golden eyes and the echoes of her dead parents as she drops her shirt again and makes her way back out to the bedroom.

 

she has no idea what time it is, but it’s still dark out, so it must be the early hours of the morning. she purses her lips before turning, and the sight before her makes her heart melt.

 

cheryl’s fast asleep once more, her relaxed face illuminated by the moonlight, the fatigue of being woken up in a startling manner for the last four nights clearly getting to her, but she’s on her side, facing toni’s side of the bed with her hand on toni’s pillow as if she was waiting for her girlfriend to return but could no longer fight her body’s attempts to descend into unconsciousness. 

 

toni simply stares at her for a few moments in awe before she crawls onto the bed carefully, not wanting to wake her once more. cheryl’s out like a light, however, and toni smiles before she traces the tip of her index finger over her brows, down her nose, across her jawline and over her plump lips, mapping out the features and dedicating them to her brain addictively until she brushes the hair over cheryl’s face back and tucks it behind her ear softly. she leans down, full lips resting on cheryl’s hairline before they pucker into a tender kiss.

 

she’s so lucky…despite the dead parents and the abusive uncle and the near death experience, despite all the shit things that have happened to her in her life…she is so fucking lucky to have cheryl blossom…this girl came crashing into her life like a goddamn meteorite, and toni’s never been more thankful to be in the path of something so beautiful.

 

_thank god those four days apart are over…_

 

she knows it’s not healthy for them to always be attached at the hip, and deep down, she knows they need to at least maybe focus on spending a little bit of time apart, but the thought makes her chest ache with worry, especially now that cheryl was acting as jughead’s advisor. it made her an even bigger target, and sure, they haven’t heard anything from the ghoulies since her attack, but still…

 

if anything were to happen to cheryl while toni wasn’t there…it already happened once to one of them and cheryl had dissolved into a complete and utter mess, toni knows she won’t be any different if the same thing were to happen to the red head.

 

besides, cheryl has so much on her plate right now. truthfully, they both do…they need to stay close to each other now more than ever. archie’s trial was yesterday, and after the evidence had been piled up and attorney mccoy and mary andrews had given their defense, toni had watched with bated breath as the prosecution had given one hell of a closing statement as well. the judge had given the jury a week to make a decision, saying the case was special and needed careful deliberation. so now they had to wait a whole week to find out if archie was going to juvie or not.

 

on top of that, they’ve been to the lakeside every day since jughead chose her as his second in command, cheryl meeting with the serpent king and her grandfather and f.p to discuss serpent matters with toni close by her side per cheryl’s wishes for her to be there, and though there haven’t been any big decisions made or serious matters discussed, it’s already beginning to take a toll on cheryl, toni can tell. the bags under her eyes are getting harder to hide, and toni’s not helping matters with these strange dreams of hers keeping them both up at night.

 

add in the fact that polly was coming into town in two days with the twins after having to delay her visit a week, and toni’s surprised cheryl’s still standing, to be honest. 

 

she slowly pulls back, her thumb brushing over cheryl’s cheekbone before she turns over and grabs the arm resting on her pillow. she slowly lifts it and sinks down onto her side, being careful with her wounds before she drapes cheryl’s arm over her waist, pulling her in a little closer and wincing when cheryl breathes in deeply and tightens her hold around toni’s waist, pressing her chest flush against toni’s back.

 

“are you okay?” cheryl grumbles so low that toni has to take a few seconds to unscramble what she just said. she hums softly and closes her eyes before finally responding.

 

“mmm…i am now.” she hears cheryl chuckle before a soft kiss is pressed to the back of her head, and toni feels herself drifting off to sleep once more.

 

luckily, there’s no more dreams of wolves and dead or dying relatives for the night, and toni wakes up later in the morning to cheryl’s weight still pressed against her back, her arm around her waist slightly slackened now in her deep state of sleep. the sun is streaming in through the window, and it’s warm enough that toni finds herself kicking the blankets off where they’re wrapped around both hers and cheryl’s waists, sighing in content as the cool breeze coming in through the open window hits the bare skin of her legs. 

 

she lets her eyes flutter closed lazily, breathing in deeply when she feels cheryl squeeze her waist before slowly letting her go, rolling onto her back with a loud groan as she does.

 

“morning, baby.” toni whispers, opening her eyes and slowly turning over as cheryl hums softly with a smile of content. she opens her eyes and turns her head to look at toni, eyes blinking lazily with her smile only growing wider, and with the sunlight streaming in through the window hitting her face, toni can’t help but stare at her in complete and utter awe.

 

the way the sun is shining on her, accentuating each delicate curve of her body and face, each freckle on her skin, those brown eyes blazing so tenderly as they stare at the pink haired girl…

 

“god, you’re so beautiful…” toni whispers, reaching a hand up to brush her hand across cheryl’s cheekbone, feeling completely unworthy of even grazing the alabaster skin before her...

 

cheryl lets out a throaty chuckle, but toni leans forward and rests her chapped lips against cheryl’s forehead, pressing a kiss right between her eyes and smiling against her skin when cheryl grips her shirt between her fingers with a tired sigh.

 

“i love you, cheryl.” toni whispers, pulling back and looking down into those chocolate brown eyes that are squinted slightly from the sun’s rays hitting them, and cheryl blinks lazily before she hums and turns onto her side to let toni hook her arms underneath her shoulders, their legs entangling as toni’s chin rests on top of cheryl’s head.

 

“i love you, too.” she croaks out, pressing a kiss to her collarbone lightly. toni’s heart soars as it always does at the sound of those words, her fingers brushing past cheryl’s hair gathered at the nape of her neck to touch her skin, and they simply stay wrapped up in each other’s embrace, cheryl’s hands moving under toni’s shirt to scrape her nails down her skin gently. 

 

toni has no idea what time it is, and she kind of wants to just drift back off to sleep just like this, with cheryl wrapped around her body so perfectly, but before she can, cheryl inhales deeply and moves her hands out from under toni’s shirt, rolling away from her grasp and sitting up on the edge of the bed before letting out a groan when the joints in her back pop loudly. she takes a moment, toni watching with a smile as the muscles in her back ripple beneath the straps of her nightgown with each stretch she does before she pushes herself off the bed with a tired yawn. 

 

toni fights back a laugh at her haphazard hair, her owlish eyes blinking slowly as she walks almost like a zombie toward the bathroom, and cheryl frowns when she sees toni’s face screwed up in concentration, coming to a dead stop and watching her girlfriend with a raised eyebrow.

 

“what?” she grumbles with a yawn, lifting a hand to rub at her eyes as she does, and toni’s heart melts at the adorable sight before she jumps up off the bed carefully and steps closer to curl her arms around cheryl’s waist, pulling her in close.

 

“you’re just so cute.” she says hoarsely, chuckling when cheryl rolls her eyes and presses a kiss to her hairline tenderly with her hands moving up and down her back soothingly.

 

“you’re being awfully domestic this morning.” she murmurs against her skin. toni smiles, a thought of a distant future where cheryl is holding her just like this, but with a golden band wrapped around her left finger…

 

“is that a bad thing?”

 

“mmm, not at all. i’m enjoying it a lot.” cheryl whispers, smiling as she moves her lips down to toni’s cheek to kiss it tenderly before she’s gripping toni’s arms to unwrap them from around her waist. toni whines in protest, pulled out of her thoughts, and cheryl laughs and raises an eyebrow again at her in amusement.

 

“i need to use the bathroom, toni.” she giggles, toni grumbling before she reluctantly lets her go completely and steps back just a little.

 

_you’re being clingy, stop it…_

 

“sorry, i know i’m being overbearing, i just…miss you. like, all the time. even though you’re right in front of me…” toni murmurs, collapsing back down onto the bed in a heap with a frown. cheryl’s smile disappears, and she watches toni for a few moments before she sighs and makes her way over to her, collapsing down beside her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders delicately to pull her into her side.

 

“toni, you almost died…as much as it pains me to say it, it’s the truth. it makes sense for you to want be around the people you love all the time.” she croaks out, her cheek resting against toni’s forehead as she wraps her free arm around toni’s knees to lift them onto her lap. she rocks back and forth gently, the action immediately calming her down. toni purses her lips, but doesn’t say anything, and cheryl sighs again before she kisses her temple lovingly.

 

“i don’t mind you being clingy. it’s a nice change. i’m usually the clingy one.” she chuckles, breath causing the baby hairs on toni’s forehead to itch at her skin. toni smiles and pulls away before tilting her head up a little to look up at her.

 

“i don’t mind when you’re clingy, either. i know giving each other space is the healthy thing to do, but after everything we’ve been through-.”

 

“i know, t.t. i feel the same way.” cheryl whispers, her nose nudging the side of toni’s head to bury in her hair affectionately. toni curls her hand around the arm wrapped around her, giving it a gentle squeeze before cheryl inhales deeply and pulls away to rake her fingers through toni’s pink curls instead, and toni reluctantly clears her throat and pulls away, swinging her legs off cheryl’s lap and causing the red head’s arms to drop from their position around her.

 

“what time is it?” toni murmurs. cheryl sighs and reaches to the bedside table to grab her phone, yanking it out of the charger and lighting it up with a frown as she sees the numbers glaring back at her.

 

“just after ten. we slept in.” cheryl says in surprise. toni scoffs, wiping at her bottom lip distractedly with a shake of her head.

 

“it’s these stupid dreams i’m having…i’m sorry i keep waking you up, cheryl-.”

 

“don’t be silly, toni. how many times have my nightmares woken you up?” cheryl grumbles guiltily, averting her gaze back down to her phone and tapping at the screen to no doubt reply to the million messages on social media she gets every day. 

 

“you know it doesn’t bother me-.”

 

“and it doesn’t bother me, either. but it is strange that it’s the same one every time, t.t. even my nightmares are different…” cheryl says with wonder, looking up at her as a frown takes over her features. toni purses her lips before she curls a hand around cheryl’s bare thigh and gives it a squeeze.

 

“they’re not really nightmares, to be honest, it’s…god, i don’t even know. it is weird…” toni licks her lips before her teeth are gnawing at her already chapped bottom lip with worry, and cheryl drops her phone onto the bed and leans forward to kiss her brow to get her to stop furrowing it before she mumbles against her skin.

 

“no matter. if they keep persisting, we can worry about it then. i’ll go get the shower ready so we can get the day started. i want to spend some time with nana rose and practice my archery before we meet the others at pop’s for dinner.” toni grins widely at that, unable to contain her excitement.

 

“ooh, you haven’t done your archery stuff in a while. the last time was what, a day or two after you became a serpent?” she says with a smirk. cheryl pulls away with a laugh as she nods.

 

“yes…i can still remember the look of shock on your face when i hit every single bullseye.”

 

“can you blame me? it’s not every day you find out your girlfriend is secretly a pro with a bow and arrow, cher.” cheryl laughs loudly, the sound music to toni’s ears as she leans in kisses toni’s cheek swiftly before she stands and makes her way into the bathroom. toni’s about to follow her, but she pauses for a moment and simply sinks back down onto the bed, her thoughts scrambled and her body already missing cheryl’s warmth as the sound of a toilet flushing echoes a few moments later, followed by the sound of running water.

 

she stands with a sigh and walks over to where her serpent jacket is resting on a hook on the door of cheryl’s wardrobe, the blossom girl’s own serpent jacket hanging proudly right beside it, and she smiles fondly at the sight of the tattered, black leather and the green serpent emblazoned on the back of her jacket before her eyes move to cheryl’s, red leather in perfect condition and only just starting to loosen up to adapt to cheryl’s body. 

 

_“southside serpent girlfriends…has a nice ring to it.”_

 

god, it feels like such a long time ago that she said those words, hers and cheryl’s relationship so fresh all those months ago, but the love still as unconditional as it was today…

 

they’ve grown so much in such a short period of time, but toni wouldn’t change it for the world. despite the ups and downs, they were still here, still standing as strong as ever, as in love with each other as ever.

 

she grabs cheryl’s jacket, gripping the leather between her warm fingers as she lifts the collar of it to her nose and inhales the smell of it, cheryl’s perfume and shampoo mixed with the harsh smell of the material…

 

cheryl so proudly wore this jacket, so proudly displayed her love for her family, even accepted the positon of advisor and second in command to the serpent king to keep their family safe…

 

_just think of what she’d do to protect her family with **you,** toni…_

 

a vision flashes before her eyes of cheryl running around the lawns of the blossom estate, slight streaks of grey in her fiery red hair as she laughed and chased after a little girl with the same red hair as hers, scooping the girl into her arms and hugging her close to press kisses to her little face affectionately…

 

she blinks back her tears of joy and sniffs before she rests the jacket back into the hook and sighs, making her way to the bathroom slowly.

 

a future she wants, but a future they’re a far way away from…

 

she pushes the door open slowly before she pulls her shirt up over her head and pulls her shorts down, taking her underwear down with it. she grins as she makes her way over to the tub where she can see cheryl’s silhouette massaging shampoo into her hair. she tries to make her steps quiet, feeling a little cheeky and wanting to scare her girlfriend, cheryl’s got goddamn super hearing, because at the echo of her bare feet padding on the tiles, the curtain pulls back and cheryl’s smirking at her with a raised eyebrow, her red hair covered in white foam and some of it even trailing down her face in streaks.

 

“you can’t pull the wool over me, toni topaz, you’re louder than a stampede.” toni drops her mouth open in shock before she makes her way toward the tub slowly.

 

“wow. so rude…and i had plans for us during this shower.” she grumbles, stepping over it and shivering slightly at the slightly scalding water that immediately begins hitting her skin.

 

“mmm, did you now? like what?” cheryl purrs into her ear, causing toni to bite down on her bottom lip to stop herself from grinning as she turns away from cheryl and steps under the stream of water to wet her body and hair. 

 

“doesn’t matter. not happening now.” she says with a shrug. cheryl hums into her ear again before she’s wrapping her arms around toni’s waist from behind.

 

“you sure about that?” she whispers seductively. toni fights back the shiver that curls up her spine as she grabs the shampoo and squeezes a glob of it into the palm of her hand.

 

“maybe…” she says simply, massaging the shampoo into her hair, and she fights back a grin when cheryl sighs in ear and takes over. she begins lathering the shampoo into toni’s hair, the girl wrinkling her nose before squeezing her eyes shut and relishing in the feeling of cheryl’s fingers and nails scratching and massaging her scalp. when she looks down, pink foam is flooding the bottom of the tub in thick drops, and cheryl must notice it too, because she sighs and presses a kiss to the back of toni’s soapy neck while still making sure to scratch and massage every inch of her scalp.

 

“we’ll need to dye your hair again soon…” she murmurs, spluttering slightly at the taste of shampoo and causing toni to laugh loudly before she thinks about it and slowly turns in cheryl’s arms to face her.

 

“yeah…maybe tomorrow, before the twins come to visit?” she asks, her fingers dancing up and down cheryl’s spine. cheryl chuckles as she pushes toni back gently into the stream of water to let the shampoo wash out of her hair.

 

“why, do you want to look good for them? they’re babies, toni, they won’t even know who you are.” she says with a fond smile. toni bites down on her bottom lip before she simply shrugs, averting her gaze shyly before she utters her next words as cheryl delicately runs her fingers through her hair to remove any trace of shampoo left.

 

“well, they’re jason’s kids, cher. and jason meant a lot to you…and if i’m gonna be auntie toni, i wanna be the cool auntie with the pink hair that spoils them. and…” toni trails off, contemplating her next words before she looks up at cheryl and exhales shakily, her heart pounding a little erratically at the thoughts she’s about to convey.

 

“and i figured maybe after we visit the twins, we can visit jason…tell him about his kids. i haven’t met him yet, and i gotta make a good first impression, you know? i’m dating his sister, after all.” toni says with a fond smile.

 

she hasn’t pushed the topic, wanting cheryl to invite her to jason’s grave in her own time, but with them meeting the twins in just a few days’ time, it seems like the perfect opportunity for it to happen.

 

cheryl’s eyes widen before they immediately fill with tears, her bottom lip trembling as toni feels her heart ache a little, guilt flooding her almost immediately.

 

“shit, don’t cry, cher, i’m sorry…” toni reaches up to brush her thumb over cheryl’s bottom lip to get it to stop quivering, and cheryl whimpers before she grabs her wrist and pulls her into her embrace, lips connecting with toni’s before they move to cover every inch of her face with love.

 

“you’re…so…goddamn…amazing…toni.” she blubbers between peppering toni’s face with kisses, the pink haired serpent giggling as she tries to inch away from the tickle of cheryl’s pursed lips against her sensitive skin from the hot water before cheryl wraps her arms around her waist to keep her still and moves her lips down to the column of toni’s throat.

 

“i try my best.” toni gasps out, biting down on her lower lip when cheryl sucks the skin around her pulse point into her mouth harshly with a moan. she hears cheryl sniff before she’s trailing her lips up to toni’s jaw with open mouthed kisses.

 

“i love you, i love you so much…i can’t wait for you to meet jay jay, too, toni. he’ll love you, i know he will.” she whispers softly. toni smiles and curls a hand around the back of her neck as she continues trailing kisses along her throat and collarbone.

 

“mmm, good…” is all she manages to get out before cheryl bites down on the space between her neck and shoulder and pulls back to meet her eyes, the look in her own a mixture of awe and love and lust and desire.

 

“your plans are my plans now. against the wall, toni, and don’t even think about moving until i’ve made that back arch off it at least twice.”

 

“god, cher, _yes please…”_

 

\--------------

 

it’s strange to cheryl, just how quickly things change.

 

less than six months ago, she was stuck in this broken place, mourning the loss of her twin brother before having to suffer through the undeniable truth that her father was the one responsible for that loss, only to lose him as well just hours later after it was revealed. 

 

she was broken, a fragile mess of a person who had sunk into the frozen depths of sweetwater river with no hope at the end of the tunnel. she saw no light, only grief and sadness and despair, and with such a harrowing future ahead of her, of course she didn’t feel like going on, like continuing forward further into the darkness…she wanted to end it all.

 

yet here she sits now in pop’s dinner, side by side with the love of her life and surrounded by her friends, her _family…_ and all she can feel is happiness.

 

betty is telling them a story about her and archie and his brush with poison ivy that left him in the hospital when they were kids, toni, veronica, jughead, archie, sweet pea, fangs, josie and kevin all listening with rapt attention before bursting into laughter as betty tells them how he itched at his skin and begged betty to make it stop.

 

“i felt so bad but i didn’t know what to do! when we went back to his place, mary and fred took one look at him and had to fight back laughter before they drove him to the hospital.” betty giggles out, looking at archie fondly as the red haired boy blushes and scratches the back of his head in embarrassment.

 

“it was worse than chicken pox, which i got like six months later for the second time…” he grumbles, sighing when veronica coos and presses a kiss to his cheek.

 

“such a brave one, aren’t you, archiekins?” she teases, and archie rolls his eyes with a chuckle.

 

“more like an itchy one, i still have the scars from how hard i scratched my skin both times. dad made me wear mittens to stop me.” he guffaws. cheryl smiles and welcomes toni’s further into her side as the girl leans into her with a grin.

 

“yeah, my mom made me wear gloves when i had chicken pox, too. it didn’t help.” she says fondly, and cheryl feels her heart pang with sadness as she squeezes her arm wrapped around toni’s shoulders. 

 

“i’ve never had chicken pox.” josie says proudly with a wide smile, prompting sweet pea, who’s lap she’s sitting on, to look at her in surprise.

 

“what? really?” he says with a scoff of disbelief, and josie nods once with a hum.

 

“neither have i. jason got it when he was six and i even looked after him…still didn’t catch it.” cheryl says with a fond smile, remembering the days when jason had been curled up in his bed, desperately trying not to scratch his skin because penelope had told him if she saw any scratch marks, she would trim his nails down to the skin no matter how much it hurt…

 

_“scars are disgusting marks to have on your skin, jason! no scratching!”_

 

of course, cheryl had stepped up and acted as scratcher for her brother, and when her mother had caught cheryl scratching an itch on jason’s back that he couldn’t reach, she had received five belt whips across the back of her thighs for it.

 

cheryl clenches her jaw, seeking toni’s hand immediately and squeezing it tightly, and toni inhales sharply, clearly got off guard by the sudden urgency of cheryl’s need for contact before she leans in to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth. 

 

“you know, cheryl, your birthday is coming up pretty soon, are you having a big party?” josie asks suddenly, looking at cheryl with a wide smile that she simply returns lightly before shaking her head.

 

“no, i don’t think so…it’s going to be my first birthday without jason…i don’t think i can handle having a big party without him there by my side.” she says with a sigh. toni tucks a lock of hair behind her ear gently before peppering kisses to her ear and cheek. josie’s expression softens, and veronica grips her hand that’s resting on top of the table.

 

“of course. if you want, just your closest friends can come to thistlehouse-.”

 

“or we can have a party at the lakeside. have a serpent birthday blowout.” sweet pea says with a wicked grin. cheryl frowns and is about to ask what exactly that entails when toni groans beside her and shakes her head.

 

“she’s not doing ‘the serpent pit’, sweets.” she says firmly, squeezing cheryl’s thigh with a scoff of disbelief.

 

“uh, what’s that?” cheryl asks immediately. sweet pea grins as fangs laughs and leans closer to her with a wink.

 

“serpent tradition. on your birthday, you drink five shots of your drink of choice and stick your hand into a tank with a snake in it to retrieve a set of brass knuckles. you do it without getting bit, you get to keep ‘em.” he falls back and taps sweet pea’s arm as the boy tightens his arms around the pussycat sitting on his lap with a wink at cheryl.

 

“i’ve got five.” 

 

“brass knuckles or scars from a snake biting you?” cheryl squeaks, her heart pounding as toni growls under her breath and gives fangs and sweet pea the finger.

 

“shut up, you morons. she’s not doing it.” cheryl grabs toni’s hands, bringing them to her eyes to scan them for any snake bite marks even though she knows her hands like the back of her own, and toni rolls her eyes and yanks them out of her grip with a chuckle.

 

“i’ve never done it, baby, it’s not something you have to do. the boys just do it for bragging rights, they think it makes them a man.” she deadpans, glaring at fangs and sweet pea, who simply shrugs and sinks back into his seat.

 

“like i said, i’ve got five.” he says, puffing his chest proudly, and josie rolls her eyes and slaps a palm over his peck muscles.

 

“you may have five brass knuckles to your name, but you’re still a big softie when it comes to the girls you like.” she says, gripping his chin between her fingers and swinging his head from side to side playfully. he grins, staring at josie with a look cheryl’s never seen before from the boy…

 

adoration.

 

“speaking of big softies, polly’s all packed and will be here on monday. i told here you’d be coming over after school with me. i assume you’re coming too, toni?” betty says softly with a smile. cheryl’s heart pounds against her chest, and it’s like toni can sense her anxiety straight away, because she squeezes her thigh before she smiles and nods once.

 

“i’ll be there with bells on.” she says firmly. betty simply nods with a smile before kevin begins telling a story, and cheryl finds herself zoning in and out, only focusing on the feeling of toni’s soft hand on her warm thigh.

 

she’s meeting jason’s babies…two more days, and she’s meeting jason’s babies…

 

she watches josie and sweet pea fondly, her eyes moving from them to kevin and fangs, who exchange looks and smiles before they both avert their gazes shyly, to archie and veronica, loved up next to each other, to jughead and betty cuddling beside them, and cheryl, despite still feeling something akin to a grudge toward them, still smiles before she looks to toni, who looks back at her with a raised eyebrow.

 

“you okay?” she whispers. cheryl licks her lips before she grips toni’s chin between her fingers and kisses her deeply, peeling her lips away from toni’s slowly before she brushes her thumb over her cheekbone.

 

_perfection._

 

“never better, t.t. never better.” 

 

\----------------

 

cheryl’s grip around her waist is goddamn _suffocating,_ but toni doesn’t say a single word.

 

they’ve been sitting on toni’s bike for at least five minutes now, cheryl’s grip getting tighter and tighter the longer she stared up at the cooper household with her teeth clenching tightly on her bottom lip. 

 

betty had walked inside when they arrived, and when cheryl had whined into toni’s ear and refused to move, toni had told her to go ahead, told her they’d catch up eventually. 

 

cheryl still hasn’t moved.

 

“cher? i know you’re scared, baby-.”

 

“i’m not scared.” cheryl croaks out, her nails digging into the lapels of toni’s jacket as she exhales shakily into toni’s ear, nose brushing through her freshly pink hair.

 

toni licks her lips and squeezes her wrists, leaning back into her gently as she does. 

 

she knows what cheryl needs in times like this, when she’s anxious or scared…touch. cheryl had been so deprived of intimacy her whole life, it was the only thing she craved, and toni was more than happy to give it to her. whatever it takes to get cheryl through that door to meet those babies...

 

she knows cheryl has been waiting for this day for so long, and she knows cheryl wants nothing more than to go in there and see them, but if she wasn't afraid, then why wasn't she doing it already?

 

“then what are you feeling?” toni whispers, wanting to understand what her girlfriend is going through that's making her so hesitant. cheryl licks her lips before she’s suddenly reaching up to unclip toni’s helmet from around her chin, toni allowing her to do so as she peels it off her head and presses a kiss to toni’s ear, handing her the helmet as she does.

 

“nervous more than anything. what if they don’t like me?” cheryl says hoarsely, her voice trembling, and god, she sounds like she’s on the verge of tears, toni _hates_ hearing or seeing her cry…

 

it's such a silly thing to be nervous about, especially considering they were babies and didn't have any concept of personalities or 'liking' someone, but toni kind of gets it. these were jason's children at the end of the day, if they didn't like her...

 

“they’re babies, cher, as long as you hold them and make funny faces at them, they’re gonna love you. there’s nothing to be afraid of, okay? they’re family, cher. and what’s one of the most important things in life?” toni says huskily, squeezing cheryl’s wrists around her waist. cheryl exhales shakily before she rests the side of her face against toni’s, chin dropping down onto her shoulder with a dull thunk.

 

“family.” she mumbles. toni nods firmly.

 

“jason would want you to meet them, cher. if he can’t be here for them, _you_ can. come on, baby, you’re strong enough to do this and you know it…” toni murmurs, pulling away from cheryl to turn her head and press a kiss to her cheek, her helmet slightly in the way. cheryl bites down on her quivering bottom lip, and toni sighs before she swings her leg off the bike to stand, slowly unwrapping cheryl’s arms from around her waist before she does.

 

“brave face, cher. come on.” toni screws her face into one of determination, and cheryl wrinkles her nose and does the same, looking beyond adorable with the helmet still on. toni chuckles and unclips the helmet from under cheryl’s chin, pulling it up and off her head before she presses a quick kiss to her lips.

 

“you’re a serpent. and the third law states that a serpent-.”

 

“never shows cowardice…” cheryl finishes, closing her eyes and nodding slowly along to toni’s words.

 

“then come on, second in command. let’s go meet your brother’s babies.” toni rests the helmets on the handles of the bike and holds her hand out, and she watches cheryl stare down at it for a long time before she lets out a deep breath and grabs her outstretched hand. toni tugs her close to kiss her, smiling into the kiss when cheryl melts into it with a happy hum vibrating in her throat.

 

truthfully, even _she's_ feeling a little nervous. it's not only the first time she's meeting the twins, but also her first time meeting alice and polly, too. she'd seen them briefly at the will reading, had to contain her laughter at alice barging in and yelling like a maniac, but right now, none of that matters.

 

cheryl needs her, so she'll be there. right by her side.

 

she pulls away from the kiss before dragging cheryl along gently to the front door. they climb up the steps to the front porch, each step of their boots thudding loudly, and toni licks her lips as they come to a stop at the door and raises a fist, hovering it over the wood in hesitation before she looks at cheryl for confirmation.

 

cheryl simply gives her a nod, clutching toni’s hand in her own so tightly, toni’s pretty sure she’s cutting off the circulation. toni winces, but says nothing, her own heart pounding with excitement and nerves, more for cheryl than anything.

 

this was a big moment for her…

 

_you’ve gotta be there for her, toni…every step of the way._

 

she knocks gently on the wood of the door, clearing her throat and straightening out her serpent jacket as cheryl does the same with her own, her teeth gnawing on a red bottom lip as her booted feet tap together anxiously.

 

"deep breaths, baby." toni whispers. cheryl sighs, and they hear footsteps on the other side of the door before it swings open, cheryl inhaling sharply as betty’s face appears at the door.

 

“took you long enough.” she teases, and toni chuckles as cheryl swallows thickly and simply raises her head high.

 

brave face on.

 

god, toni couldn't be prouder.

 

“i needed to pluck up the courage, cousin betty. are…” cheryl trails off, chewing on her bottom lip anxiously, and betty steps aside and sweeps her arm to welcome them in.

 

“polly’s in the living room with them. go meet your niece and nephew, cheryl.” toni smiles as cheryl blinks back her tears that are quickly welling in her eyes and nods once, walking over the threshold still gripping toni’s hand tightly, dragging the pink haired serpent along with her. toni follows along happily, betty chuckling as she follows after them, and cheryl stops just before the living room, taking a deep breath in and closing her eyes, squaring her shoulders before she turns the corner.

 

polly cooper is sitting on the couch, giggling happily while she holds a baby high above her head, and alice cooper is bouncing another baby in her arms, cooing softly before both copper women look up at the sound of high heeled boots hitting the wooden floorboards of their home.

 

toni watches with a frown as alice’s expression turns stony at the sight of cheryl, and polly also winces slightly before she rests the baby in her hands down onto her lap and stands, cradling the child to her chest and exhaling deeply before she genuinely smiles at cheryl happily as if she's excited to see her.

 

where she truly is or not, toni isn't sure, but she doesn't care. just as long as polly lets her see the kids, she's happy...

 

“cheryl…it’s good to see you!” she says softly, the palm of her hand hitting the back of the baby in her arms, and when cheryl doesn’t reply, toni turns to look at her girlfriend cautiously, trying to gauge her emotions from the look in her eyes.

 

her eyes that are on the child in polly’s arms, tears pooling in her brown eyes as she licks her lips before she clears her throat and smiles as best she can at the cooper woman before her, trying her best to look strong even though toni knows she's hurting inside.

 

_those kids are all she has left of him..._

 

“polly…it’s good to see you too. i’m glad you’re safe…all of you.” cheryl breathes, her eyes flicking back and forth between the baby in alice’s arms and the one that polly is carrying. polly sighs and looks down at the baby in her arms, cooing softly as it gurgles loudly and smacks a palm over her face playfully.

 

“we are…san francisco has been amazing. i’m sorry it’s taken me so long to bring them here to meet you, cheryl-.”

 

“don’t be silly, polly. keeping them safe is the number one priority, and riverdale is anything but. i understand.” cheryl says with a breathless chuckle, squeezing toni’s hand gently and looking at her with a sad smile. toni purses her lips, wincing slightly at the memory of sharp knives and loud shouting...

 

yeah...riverdale definitely was not a safe place for baby twins to grow up in. especially baby _blossom_ twins...

 

she hears the sound of a throat clearing, and when she turns back to look at alice and polly, both women are looking at her in wonder.

 

“uh, right…i’m toni topaz, i’m cheryl’s girlfriend.” toni says, smiling at both women before polly’s eyes widen with acknowledgement as she nods.

 

“i think i saw you briefly at the will reading, right?” she says with a smile. toni grins and nods once, and polly sees her eyeing the southside serpent jacket around her shoulders a little apprehensively. 

 

toni gets it, but it doesn't mean it still doesn't annoy her. when were people going to learn that the southside serpents weren't the bad guys of riverdale? she’s about to say something when alice scoffs and rolls her eyes at her daughter.

 

“relax, polly. or are you forgetting your father is a serial killer?” she deadpans coldly, matter-of-factly, causing toni’s heart to squeeze with not only sadness, but just general awkwardness at how openly alice is talking about her ex-husband being a murderer. polly winces and betty sighs loudly, scratching her forehead with a groan before she looks at her mother in frustration.

 

“mom-.”

 

“what, it’s the truth! besides, your mother used to don that leather, and a serpent never betrays its own. it’s part of the laws…the kids are safe with these two.” she says firmly, raising an eyebrow at toni for confirmation. toni has a snarky remark about how alice is no longer a serpent resting on her tongue, but she swallows it back and chooses instead to nod. alice smiles before she looks over at cheryl, eyes roaming over her cautiously almost before she nods once.

 

“heard you became a serpent.” she says gruffly. cheryl smiles and turns to reveal the green snake on the back of her jacket, polly's eyes widening at the sight, and alice hums softly with a nod, clearly impressed. 

 

“never thought f.p would bring a blossom into his crew.”

 

“he made an exception for a broken girl with a broken family.” cheryl says firmly, once again holding her head high. alice outright laughs now, bouncing the baby in her arms as she nods with a grin.

 

“yeah, he never could resist strays.” she says simply. toni feels cheryl’s hand tighten in her own once again, but thankfully before either of them can bite back at alice's words with a retort, polly clears her throat and smiles, making her way over to cheryl slowly. 

 

cheryl’s breath hitches, and toni doesn’t let her hand go for a single moment as she watches polly come to a stop in front of them both.

 

“cheryl…this is juniper. juniper…this is your auntie cheryl.” polly whispers down at the baby, smiling as the baby gurgles before she slowly extends her arms to hand the baby over to cheryl.

 

cheryl who simply lets her tears fall before she exhales shakily and sniffs once, holding her arms out a little awkwardly before she lets polly rest baby juniper against them, the baby raising a fist to its mouth and making strange noises as it looks up at cheryl with bright blue eyes. 

 

toni has only seen jason in photos that cheryl has shown her, but right now, looking at juniper, toni can't help but feel like the resemblance is almost uncanny.

 

god, these kids are _definitely_ jason blossom's.

 

toni wraps an arm around cheryl’s waist cautiously to keep her upright, because her knees are buckling slightly, but the expression on cheryl’s face is nothing but pure _worship._

 

it's a look different to the one toni knows, but it's something similar all the same as she stares down at the baby in her arms with nothing but love and tenderness. the baby continues gurgling as she adjusts her grip, tucking one arm around the baby and smiling widely before she raises her free hand to let the baby grip her index finger in its chubby hand. 

 

“hi, juniper…hi…” cheryl coos softly, rocking her arms back and forth lightly. toni finds herself blinking back her own tears at the beautiful sight before her, wishing more than anything that jason was here to see them right now…

 

what would he think of his two little twins? of toni? would polly be happier? of course. would cheryl be happy? no fucking doubt about it-

 

“toni?” she turns her gaze at the sound of her name, pulled straight out of her thoughts as alice pawns the second child off to polly, who smiles and turns her body to face toni now before she's holding the baby out to toni.

 

toni blanks completely for just a few moments, unsure of what to do really before instinct kicks in and she's swallowing the lump in her throat and holding her arms out for polly to hand the baby over. polly places the second blossom twin into her arms carefully, toni's leather squeaking slightly because of it.

 

“this is dagwood…” polly says gently, brushing her index finger down the baby’s forehead affectionately.

toni bites back a loud laugh.

juniper and dagwood?

 

god, she was subjecting these kids to so much torture for when they're older...

 

toni is about to ask where in the blue hell polly got these names from when she sees chocolate brown eyes staring back up at her from her arms.

 

eyes that are just like cheryl’s. 

 

it knocks the wind right out of her, her eyes falling on the tuft of red hair atop the baby’s head.

 

_oh god...oh god, they're like jason and cheryl version two, this is...fucking insane. how strong are those goddamn blossom genes?!_

 

she’s biting down on her bottom lip to stop herself from crying, as she looks up at cheryl, the adult replica of the goddamn child in her arms...cheryl, who is looking down at baby juniper adoringly, the smile playing on her lips not even remotely close to fading any time soon.

 

jason's kids...these were jason's kids. of course they were going to look like jason and cheryl, but god, does she hope they don't meet the same fate...

 

no...polly was a good mother, she was going to look after these twins-

 

“mom, polly…can you give them a moment alone with the babies?” betty asks softly from her positon leaning against the banister of the wall behind them. alice immediately tenses up, and so does polly, the both of them exchanging looks that kind of make toni want to punch them, but they both nod stiffly and move to the kitchen, polly glancing back at them anxiously before betty rolls her eyes and waves them away with a huff of frustration. she turns to face toni and cheryl once they're gone.

 

“we’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything.” betty says, smiling at them once before she’s following her mother and sister into the kitchen slowly. toni can hear their murmured voices, but she blocks them out, not caring what they have to say and focusing all her attention on the small baby in her arms instead. cheryl makes her way over to the couch with a small sniff, collapsing down into it with her eyes never leaving the bundle of joy in her arms.

 

toni hesitates before she begins moving forward to sit down beside her, being careful with the child she’s carrying as she moves in closer to cheryl so she can look at dagwood as well, not wanting cheryl to miss a single moment with either of these beautiful babies...

 

they're so _cute._ granted, toni's maternal instincts kind of sucked, but still...even she's feeling a little needy watching the babies fussing in their arms.

 

a soft gasp escapes cheryl when her eyes land on the baby in toni’s arms, eyes wide with complete and utter shock, and toni chuckles and nods, still a little in disbelief as she lifts her free hand to tap the baby’s chin playfully.

 

“i know, i feel like i’m carrying baby cheryl in my arms right now, it’s wigging me out.” toni says with a light laugh, cheryl also laughing breathlessly as she licks her lips and lifts the baby a little higher in her arms to press her full lips against juniper’s forehead.

 

toni's heart melts at the sight, the words of warning about cheryl's red lipstick dying on her mouth the second it happens, but thankfully, she’s wearing the red lipstick that doesn’t stain, but she only brushes them across juniper’s skin briefly regardless before she pulls back with a heavy sigh, the sadness in her eyes almost stifling as toni's heart squeezes at the sight. 

 

god, she wishes she knew what cheryl was thinking right now...she knows this is an emotional moment, and the tears falling down her cheeks are happy, joyous ones, but toni knows cheryl by now. the insecurities were probably still weighing heavily on those shoulders of hers...

 

“i wish your father was here to see you both…he loved you so much, i need you to know that. he was willing to give up everything he had here to keep you both safe…i’m so sorry that you’ll never get to have the time with him that i had, but i promise you…no matter what, you will both always have your auntie cheryl to fall back on.” cheryl whispers, exhaling shakily before she looks up at toni with a sad smile. toni uses her free hand to brush away her tears with the back of her hand, nodding along in complete and utter agreement.

 

fuck it, she's hellbent now on making sure those kids get everything good in life...just like jason wanted.

 

before she can help it, she’s smiling down at both babies again.

 

“and your auntie toni.” she adds cheekily. cheryl laughs softly before she’s sniffing and shifting closer to toni, resting her cheek on top of toni’s head as the girl falls into her gently, both babies resting in one arm in the middle of them and fussing a little. cheryl rests the palm of her hand over juniper's stomach, gasping when it takes over the baby's whole stomach.

 

"god, can you believe we were once this small, toni? it seems so impossible." she whispers. toni smiles, shaking her head, and it’s quiet for a long time after that, the both of them shifting between smiling and giggling and talking nonsense words at the babies in their arms as they squeal with delight and grip their fingers tightly.

 

it makes toni's fucking heart ache. not just because these are jason's kids, but because they were going to grow up without a father...

 

it hurts to think about. she had her father for ten years, ten amazing, perfect years, but poor juniper and dagwood had lost jason before they were even born...

 

you would think it might make it hurt less, because they never got to know jason, but toni knows...toni knows these kids are going to be hurting with the knowledge that their father was dead thanks to their equally dead grandfather...

 

cheryl suddenly turns her head around to press a kiss to toni’s hair with shaky sigh, pulling toni out of her thoughts as concern grips her.

 

"what is it, baby?" toni whispers. cheryl is quiet for a few more moments again, before-

 

“did you ever think about this, toni?” she breathes, hot air brushing across toni's skin. toni frowns, not quite understanding what she’s asking...

 

“think about what?” she asks hoarsely, grinning as dagwood smiles up at her while playing with his toes. cheryl doesn’t respond for a few moments, and toni pulls away from her and looks at her enquiringly to find her chewing on her bottom lip to hide...well to hide a smile.

 

“your future. the white picket fence and the loving spouse…the kids…the all american dream. did you ever think about it at all?” cheryl murmurs, staring at toni in wonder as the pink haired girl inhales deeply before she shakes her head.

 

“not at all. i grew up on the southside, cher, all i ever saw in my future was the serpent jacket and that was it. but now…” toni trails off, looking down at dagwood, whose eyes are slowly beginning to droop closed as juniper clenches cheryl’s finger tightly with a light squeal. 

 

“now when i think about my future, all i see is _you,_ cheryl…and maybe one day there’ll be kids in that future too, but right now…all i see is you.” toni whispers, turning to look at her girlfriend, who observes and processes cheryl's words before she lets the tears fall down her cheeks. she leans forward to press a kiss to toni’s temple, and three words are all that escapes her, but for toni, it's more than enough. 

 

“i love you.” she whispers back. toni smiles, nuzzling her nose against cheryl’s before kissing her lips lightly.

 

“and i love you. and these babies love you, too. right? you love your auntie cheryl, don’t you, dagwood?” she giggles, tickling the baby’s belly and grinning when a high squeal of laughter echoes around the living room. she taps her finger against juniper’s chin, laughing even more when juniper gurgles loudly to each soft tap, and cheryl brushes her thumb over the faint stain of red on juniper’s forehead from her lips that were pressed there before. 

 

“god, we’re going to spoil them.” she groans in realization. toni scoffs before she grunts in agreement, because she fucking knows they're going to spoil them, she can already think of at least fifty little baby outfits that she wants to buy for them. dagwood lets out a little noise of surprise and happiness, his mouth dropped open and his grin wide, before betty and polly make their way back into the room carrying cups of water for cheryl and toni.

 

“they’re beautiful, polly. jason would be so proud…” cheryl croaks out, looking up at polly with a warm smile, and polly’s eyes shine with tears before she smiles back at her and rests her glass on the coffee table before sitting on the armrest beside cheryl leisurely nods.

 

“he would. and i think he’d be proud of you too, cheryl. it’s obvious how far you’ve come, especially from the girl i left behind. i always knew there was a spark of good in you, it was just buried underneath so much cruelty from penelope and clifford…jason always spoke about wanting to get you away from them, cheryl. he knew the kind of person you were, and he loved you so much. never forget that.” polly says softly, leaning forward from her positon on the armchair before gripping cheryl's shoulder. cheryl bites back a whimper, swallowing thickly as she nods before she looks to toni with a fond smile.

 

“thank you, polly. for allowing us to come and see them.” she says hoarsely, looking back at polly as toni smiles before she looks down at the babies once more, bouncing her arms slightly as dagwood slowly begins to fade to sleep. 

 

_so cute...god, of course jason blossom would have the most adorable kids-_

 

“of course, cheryl. you’re their auntie, you deserved to finally meet them. i’ll let betty know whenever i’m back in town so you can come for a visit, okay?” 

 

“how long will you be staying now?” toni asks softly in wonder, praying that she's staying at least a week-

 

“just until friday. i’ll be home all wednesday, if you wanted to come over for a playdate then?” polly says to cheryl, who eagerly nods as juniper’s eyelids also slowly begin to droop lazily.

 

“yes, please. toni and i will be here after school.” cheryl says, looking to toni for confirmation. toni simply nods, not wanting to deny her girlfriend of anything in such a vulnerable moment as this, and polly chuckles as she brushes a hand up and down cheryl’s arm before nodding down at the sleeping babies with an amused smirk.

 

“looks like they like you.” betty says with a chuckle. 

 

“natural baby handlers, you two.” polly adds with a grin. toni returns it as cheryl hums softly and leans down to kiss juniper’s forehead once more, leaning across to do the same to dagwood before she looks up at toni and presses a kiss to her forehead as well. toni closes her eyes at her touch before cheryl pulls away and lets out a deep exhale, staring down at the two babies with the most loving smile on her face that toni's heart melts at the sight of.

 

it’s quiet for a few moments as the babies slowly fall asleep, toni watching them with a smile and cheryl watching them in complete and utter awe before she breaks the silence. 

 

“do you think he’s watching over us? jay jay?” cheryl whispers suddenly, looking to polly before she looks at toni in wonder. polly doesn’t answer, is frowning as if she's truly contemplating the answer to that question, but toni doesn't hesitate, nodding once as she rests her chin on cheryl’s shoulders.

 

she _knows_ the answer to this one, and maybe she doesn't fully believe it, but if it makes cheryl feel better, then she doesn't care. 

 

“of course he is, cher. he’s always gonna be by your side, and as long as he lives in _here-._ ” toni reaches over and taps a finger to cheryl’s chest, right over her heart before she nods her head down to the two little babies in their hands that are fast asleep, two little babies that so resemble jason and cheryl...

 

“and as long as he lives on in _them…_ then he’s always going to watch over you. all of you.” toni says firmly, nodding her head at polly as well as cheryl bites back a smile and closes her eyes, breathing in deeply and processing toni's words slowly.

 

“you’re right, t.t…” she breathes after a few moments, swallowing the lump in her throat, and toni's surprised to see polly has tears in her eyes as well.

 

"i won't lie, the pink hair threw me off at first, but...you're kind of awesome, toni." she croaks out. betty chuckles loudly, and toni grins at them both before she nudges cheryl playfully with a warm smile.

 

they stay for a little bit longer, chatting with betty and polly and helping the babies fall into a deep slumber before they just simply sleep in cheryl and toni's arms. after a while, however, they place the babies in the bassinet and bid their goodbyes, the setting sun a clear indicator that it's time for them to leave.

as soon as they’re out the door, toni grips cheryl’s hand in her own tightly, preparing for a night of what she’s sure is going to be cheryl either crying or ranting, which she doesn’t mind at all, whatever cheryl needs-

 

cheryl surprises her by smiling as she cradles toni's face in her hands affectionately before she's leaning forward and pressing her full lips against toni's in a tender kiss.

 

"that was amazing, t.t." she breathes. toni smiles up at her in surprise before she's nodding her head in agreement.

 

"yeah, it was. they look so much like you and jason, cher..." she croaks out. cheryl hums softly before she kisses her again, and they simply stare into each other's eyes for a few moments before a question on if cheryl is okay on the tip of toni's tongue is about to burst forth- 

 

“can we go see jason now, t.t.? i wanna tell him everything. and plus…i want him to finally meet you.” cheryl whispers softly.

 

and god, how can toni even begin to say no?

 

easy, really. she can't. and she never will.

 

“of course, cher. whatever you need.”


	15. enough for the three of us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this chapter ended up being a lot more emotional than i thought it was going to be haha whoops
> 
> get your butts ready ladies and gents. the next chapter might have a little fluff in the beginning but BOY OH BOY IS SHIT ABOUT TO GO DOWN. 
> 
>  
> 
> anyway, leave comments letting me know what you think of this one! bye now!

a phone call.

 

a simple phone call, and toni feels her entire world shift on its axis.

 

it’s a phone call that occurs very early in the morning, at around three with the world outside still dark. toni’s phone rings loudly, pulling her straight out of her dream of a wolf with golden eyes surrounded by nothing but white, a dream that’s followed her for over a week now.

 

a dream that perhaps, was meant for this moment. 

 

cheryl jerks to consciousness beside her, groaning loudly and shoving her face into her pillow as toni reaches blindly for her phone on the bedside table, barely squinting her eyes open to slide her finger across the phone before lifting it to her ear.

 

“hello?” she grumbles, her arm moving to drape over her eyes as she slowly begins to rouse from her slumber.

 

“toni, it’s your grandpa…i have some bad news.” 

 

the earth tilts, toni’s whole body seems to go still, hard as rock, and she knows what thomas topaz is about to say before he even says it.

 

“we found your uncle jacob’s body under the bridge about an hour ago. he’s dead.” 

 

thomas’s voice is surprisingly calm for someone who just lost the only son they had left, and toni can’t seem to find the words to articulate what she’s feeling as she processes what was just said. she just kind of lays there uselessly, still as a statue as cheryl slowly begins to notice something’s off.

 

her abuser, the man who raised her since she was ten, the man who almost killed her on two separate occasions, who left her locked out and running from trailer to trailer begging for asylum for the night for over six years…is dead.

 

_“we found your uncle jacob’s body under the bridge an hour ago. he’s dead.”_

 

toni sits up slowly, her chest kind of aching as her heart races against her ribs, pounding painfully over and over again in this constant state of anxiety and a million other things.

 

“toni, are you there?” thomas’s voice is rough, pained, like he’s trying to stay strong for his only family left in riverdale, and at the sound of it, toni finds herself finally talking.

 

“yeah, i’m…i’m here.” her voice cracks, trembles and shakes from the pressure of the lump currently invading her throat, and she feels cheryl shift beside her, the sound of the covers over their bodies ruffling before a hand is rubbing up and down her back and a voice is echoing in her free ear.

 

“toni, what’s wrong?” cheryl murmurs, her voice thick with sleep but also worry, and toni has no idea what to say. she turns and stares at cheryl wordlessly, mouth gaping open like a fish as strange noises escape her, and cheryl stares at her in complete and utter confusion, that hand rubbing her back reaching under her shirt to scratch the skin there before thomas’s voice echoes in her ear once more.

 

“we’ll be burying him in the morning. you know we have to act swiftly, lest his soul linger too long in limbo…we have to guide him to the afterlife, toni.” thomas says firmly, almost cautiously, like he’s expecting toni to scream and yell at him for even suggesting she do such a thing.

 

toni closes her eyes, lets her tears fall, even though she has no idea why they’re there in the first place. she shouldn’t be crying for him…and she shouldn’t be guiding him into any afterlife after everything he’s done to her. part of her wants him to stay in limbo, to wander aimlessly with no purpose or reason, to suffer for eternity like he made rebecca and andrea suffer, like he made cheryl suffer…like he made _her_ suffer.

 

but for some weird reason, the words escape her like she’s on autopilot, the sound of thomas topaz’s strained voice echoing in her mind as she nods once and exhales shakily.

 

“i’ll…i’ll be there. do we have any of his belongings to bury with him?” toni rasps, clearing her throat in an attempt to get rid of that goddamn lump, and at those words, she hears cheryl gasp softly, acknowledgement and realization of what’s happened hitting her as her perfectly manicured nails dig into the skin of toni’s back.

 

toni hears thomas sigh loudly on the other end of the line, hears the sound of other voices in the background before he finally answers.

 

“i have a few things…his serpent jacket and the necklace his mother gave him as a child.” thomas’s voice sounds strained, tired and old, and the sound has toni opening her eyes, blinking blearily as she chews on the inside of her cheek.

 

he doesn’t mention that the only reason he has jacob’s serpent jacket is because the man had left it behind in the dust when he shed it that night the serpents and the ghoulies went to war…doesn’t mention that f.p had been the one to pick it up and hand it to the serpent elder with apologies and news on his son’s betrayal…

 

she doesn’t think he should be buried with his serpent jacket. the thought angers her, but she swallows it down and forces herself not to say anything. it’s not her choice at the end of the day, it’s thomas’s. 

 

“is that enough to help him?” she asks roughly instead, hating the words that are escaping her mouth. she feels like she’s betraying her own soul.

 

enough to help him…like he deserves her help at all after all the pain he’s put her through…

 

_“don’t do this, please, please don’t do this! she’s your brother’s daughter, please!”_

 

cheryl’s screams from that night echo in her mind, her cries of terror as she begged jacob to remove his hands from around toni’s neck…her blood runs cold and her heart aches at the memory of it, of poor cheryl, her poor, beautiful cheryl being forced to watch as that man…that vile, disgusting man attempted to squeeze the life out of toni’s body- 

 

“as long as his family is the one to cast them to the grave, yes.” thomas says simply, pulling her out of her thoughts as she licks her lips and nods slowly, hesitating before she says her next words.

 

he sounds so broken, so lost…as much as she hates jacob topaz, she doesn’t hate her grandfather. fuck, she spent six years living with jacob, taking his abuse with no complaint just so she wouldn’t burden the man with the task of looking after her in his old age…he just lost the only son he had left. the only reason her heart hurts is because of _him._

 

“grandpa, do you want us to come to the lakeside now?” she whispers, waiting with bated breath as thomas is silent for a few moments before he replies.

 

“no, little bird, it’s okay. f.p and a few of the older serpents are with me, they’re helping to build his casket so we can bury him by the morning.” toni holds back a scoff of disbelief, surprised that the serpents were even doing anything for jacob topaz after everything he’s done to them…

 

betraying them to the ghoulies. helping defect so many serpents to the other gang, kidnapping cheryl and toni and holding them hostage to gain control of the southside…

 

just like her, they were doing it for thomas. she knows it deep in her heart. f.p loves her grandfather, the man had helped guide him through so much in his time as serpent king…

 

“i know you don’t want anything to do with him, toni. but we’re the only family he has left…rebecca and andrea never replied to my letter, and if we don’t help guide him to the afterlife-.”

 

“i know, grandpa. i’ll do it…i’ll do it for _you._ ” toni murmurs, a shiver running up her spine as cheryl tucks a lock of hair behind her ear gently. she reaches down and grips cheryl’s hand in her own, needing an anchor, needing something to stop her mind from racing, her heart from breaking down, and the girl immediately interlaces their fingers and brings toni’s shaking hand up to her lips to press a kiss to the back of it.

 

“thank you, little bird. i’ll see you tomorrow morning.” thomas says softly. toni licks her lips and nods once.

 

“okay. see you then.” she hears the dial tone, but for some reason, can’t bring the phone down from her ear, her eyes blurring as they become unfocused. the phone slides down her cheek, more tears falling before she can stop them, and it takes cheryl’s gentle lips being pressed to her temple to spark her back to life.

 

“toni? is it jacob?” cheryl whispers. toni simply nods once, not trusting herself to speak, and cheryl purses her lips before she wraps her arms around toni, her lips resting against toni’s temple for a long time as she rubs her arms gently. 

 

cheryl doesn’t say a word, and toni’s thankful. she’s quite sure no amount of words can help heal or explain what she’s thinking or feeling, and cheryl knows that because she knows _her._ she simply pulls toni down with her until they’re lying on the bed once more, cheryl’s fingers delicately stroking through her hair and rubbing up and down the bare skin of her arm.

 

it takes approximately ten minutes before toni breaks down. she doesn’t time it, but she’s positive it’s ten minutes, because she’s counting each second that she spends replaying the memories of jacob’s six years of abuse towards her in her mind, the belt whips and the open palmed slaps…the kicks and the punches and the yelling, god, so much yelling…

 

he was never going to touch her again. he was never going to raise his fist or his voice towards her again…he was just…gone. as simple as that. here one moment, hanging like a dark cloud over toni’s existence and gone the next, leaving all these traces of thunder and rain in her life before he left. 

 

and cheryl says nothing, not a peep escaping the red head even when toni whimpers in an attempt to hold back her tears, teeth biting down so hard on her bottom lip, she’s positive it’s bruised within seconds. 

 

she simply pulls toni closer to her body and begins pressing kiss after kiss after kiss to her pink hair, one hand moving underneath her shirt to smooth up and down the heated skin of her back while the other rubs her arm, and toni eventually loses the fight.

 

she wails hysterically, laughter mixing in with her sobs and cries of _relief_ that have her feeling nothing but guilt, only making her cry harder and harder the more she thinks about it, and cheryl still says absolutely nothing, just lets toni _feel_ what she’s feeling and holds her close throughout it.

 

he’s gone.

 

he’s finally gone. he can’t hurt her ever again.

 

she’s _free._

 

\----------------

 

it’s an oddly beautiful thing for cheryl to witness. 

 

she’s been to many funerals before, including her brother’s…and her father’s. but the blossoms didn’t believe in anything but power, so the funerals were simple. lavish caskets to showcase the wealth they had that housed the bodies of those that departed as they were lowered six feet under into the earth, not even a priest present to read the rites to send them on their way to the great beyond, whatever that may be…

 

but this…this is something else. 

 

cheryl is a passive observer, but she sticks to toni’s side throughout the entire thing. her eyes are itching with fatigue because they’ve both been up since they got the call, but she pushes through her exhaustion to be there for toni.

 

toni, who has barely spoken a word since they got the call, either. 

 

cheryl has no idea what’s going on inside her girlfriend’s mind, but she has an idea. when she had lost her father, cheryl had spent the entire day crying in her room, clutching her pillow and wailing in anguish over everything she’d lost. 

 

because despite the years of verbal abuse mixed with complete and utter lack of care for her, clifford blossom was still her father. and losing him on top of jason’s death, a death _he_ was responsible for, had been too much for her to handle.

 

because despite the fact that jacob physically, emotionally and verbally abused toni for six years, he was still her uncle. he was still her family. despite all the pain he’d inflicted on her, it was one more familial loss to add to toni topaz’s already hole ridden belt. 

 

she knows what it’s like to have those conflicting emotions inside her, knows what it’s like not to know what you’re feeling. it’s _suffocating._

 

cheryl’s terrified. she doesn’t want toni to experience what she did when clifford died, because losing him had pushed her over the edge, had led her to sweetwater river, had led her to try to drown herself in the frozen depths of water, exhausted from everything she’d been through…

 

she knows toni isn’t capable of falling that far down the darkness, but still…cheryl can’t help but worry. she’d already almost lost toni once, to even think about that happening again…

 

cheryl tightens her arm around toni’s shoulders with a sharp inhale, but the girl doesn’t notice, to engrossed in what’s happening in front of her. 

 

jacob had already been inside the casket when they arrived at the southside cemetery where f.p had told them to meet, something cheryl is so thankful for, because she’s seen enough goddamn dead bodies in her life already, both of them members of her own fucking family, and the thought of toni looking down at jacob’s bloated, decaying and yellow body had made cheryl’s stomach turn, bile rising in the back of her throat at the mere concept of it. 

 

but luckily, the coffin had been nailed shut, containing the body of jacob topaz within it forever, and a hole had already been dug into the ground by the time they had walked up to the hill to meet f.p and the other older serpents. f.p had told them that they’d be safe there, that even the ghoulies respected and feared the dead too much to attack them at a graveyard, but cheryl is still watching over their backs apprehensively every thirty seconds, as if she’s expecting penny peabody to pop up and shank toni once again. 

 

jacob’s grave is isolated from the other tombstones in the graveyard that thomas informed her is mostly made up of serpents, perhaps in punishment for his betrayal of said serpents, or perhaps to keep him safe from the spirits of those who had died and were now buried here. cheryl has no doubt if the spirit of toni’s father came into contact with jacob, he’d be cursed to an eternity of pain and suffering. it almost makes her want to bury the man right beside toni’s parents who she has no doubt are somewhere in this graveyard, but she quickly pushes the thought away.

 

he’s not worthy of being buried near them.

 

either way, he’s buried in a far corner, the coffin lowered to the ground by f.p and a few of the older serpents, including byrdie, who keeps looking back at toni anxiously with concern. thomas is standing beside them, watching everything with a look of deep pain that has cheryl feeling horrible and guilty at the thoughts of hatred towards jacob topaz in her mind. the man was thomas’s son at the end of the day…

 

how? how could thomas and toni, and her parents no doubt, be such good, humble, amazing people, while jacob was just…the complete opposite? it just reminds her of how different jason and her were from their parents…

 

“careful…there we go, down…dale, pause. alright, careful.” grunts of exertion echo out from the hole in the ground that they’re standing beside before f.p’s face pops up above the dirt, looking grim as he looks up at thomas with a firm nod.

 

they all climb out slowly, pushing themselves out of the hole with loud grunts before f.p stands straight and looks up at thomas breathlessly. there’s sweat dripping down his forehead, the sleeves of his flannel pushed up to his forearms and covered in dirt along with the exposed skin of his neck and face, and he nods at the old man before him once again, watching solemnly as thomas topaz holds his head high.

 

“thank you, f.p. if you’ll give us a minute…” thomas moves to lay a hand to the small of toni’s back, and f.p purses his lips and nods as he moves to stand beside cheryl, the other serpents gathering around her as thomas and toni step forward slowly.

 

toni moves her hand down cheryl’s arm before she grips her fingers and squeezes, letting them go and falling in line with her grandfather as they take a few steps forward to get closer to the hole in the ground. cheryl bites down on her lower lip and exchanges a glance with byrdie, who gives her a small smile before she places an arm around cheryl’s shoulders and gives her a squeeze.

 

“she’ll be alright, sweetheart.” she murmurs. f.p simply grunts in agreement, and cheryl looks to him as he gives her a sad smile and a nod, turning his gaze back to the only two topazes left from the southside. cheryl exhales shakily as her eyes fall on the back of toni, who turns to look at her grandfather as he bundles the serpent jacket in his arms and kneels down to drop it into the grave. 

 

“you made many mistakes in your life, my son. may those in the spirit world guide you to a better afterlife despite them.” thomas murmurs simply, and cheryl watches in fascination as he drops the jacket down to join the coffin amongst the dirt, the dull thud of it hitting the wooden top of the coffin echoing out in the quiet sky around them. she has no idea why jacob’s personal items are being buried with his body, but she continues watching silently as thomas digs his fingers into the dirt beside them, grabbing a fistful before he stands tall and slowly lets the dirt pool on top of the casket and the serpent jacket below, trickling down from between his fingers as it does. 

 

once he’s done, not a trace of dirt left on his hand, he closes his eyes and mutters under his breath something that cheryl can’t interpret, but must be in the native tongue of their people as toni simply bows her head beside him. a few minutes pass before before he steps back and looks at toni expectantly. cheryl frowns, her heart pounding as toni squares her shoulders, and god, cheryl wishes she could see the expression on her face right now…

 

toni simply steps forward and holds out the necklace curled in her fist, letting it slide out of her grasp as it drops onto the wood with a quiet thud. her hand hovers there for a few moments before it drops to her side uselessly, and cheryl hears her clear her throat before she finally says something.

 

“goodbye, uncle jake.” she says simply, cheryl’s heart breaking at the sound of her voice trembling, and thomas sighs, but doesn’t comment on what cheryl suspects is a lack of ritual respect as toni turns on her heel and makes her way back toward cheryl. byrdie lets go of the red head as she holds her arms open, toni immediately sliding into them easily as she wraps her arms around cheryl’s waist and buries her face into her chest.

 

cheryl doesn’t say a word, just presses a kiss to the top of her head and smooths her hands up and down the leather of her serpent jacket as thomas looks to f.p and makes his way back toward them.

 

“that’s that. thank you, f.p.” he says firmly, and f.p nods before he makes his way over the mound of dirt beside the hole in the ground where two shovels are buried into it. he grabs one, handing it to dale before he grabs the second one. 

 

they both begin shoveling the dirt back, returning it to where it’s supposed to be, the dull thud of it hitting the wooden coffin echoing loudly around them as toni tightens her hold around cheryl’s waist and presses her lips to her collarbone with a sharp inhale. thomas sighs, and the sound has toni pulling herself out of cheryl’s hold as she looks up at him with a wince.

 

she licks her lips before she blinks back tears that are forming in her eyes, and when she speaks, her voice cracks with emotion.

 

“i’m sorry, grandpa.” she whispers. thomas gives her a sad smile before he grips her shoulder, squeezing it tightly in his hold. 

 

“i know you are, little bird. and i want to say thank you for coming and doing that…you could’ve not come altogether. i know you did it for me.” he says simply, giving her a fond smile as her bottom lip trembles before she pulls away from cheryl completely and embraces him in her arms tightly. 

 

the sight breaks cheryl’s heart, but she stays strong, biting down on her lower lip as thomas looks up at her over toni’s shoulder. he smiles at her before he grips toni’s shoulders to pull her away from him with a chuckle. toni sniffs, wiping away the tears falling down her cheeks as cheryl makes her way forward to slip her hand into toni’s once more, trying to give her as much strength as she can through this simple gesture alone. thomas watches them for a few moments before he sighs and nods toward the left of them, further up a small hill where more graves are resting in the distance. 

 

“take her to your parents, toni. they deserve to meet the girl whose turned their daughter’s life into one of pure happiness and love.” 

 

cheryl’s heart pounds nervously against her chest at those words, and she hears toni inhale sharply as her eyes move to the hill with a frown.

 

it’s something cheryl hasn’t been able to stop thinking about since she and toni visited jason’s grave on monday, toni sitting cross legged by cheryl’s side in the blossom cemetery inside the estate as she spoke to jason about _everything._ they were there for hours, cheryl simply rambling on and on with toni’s hand in her own, and toni had been so…god, so amazing, had listened to cheryl and had even spoken to jason with cheryl, not caring about how silly it was to talk to someone who was long gone from this world…

 

she introduced herself to cheryl’s deceased twin brother with a smile and a touch of his gravestone and her words reverberate in cheryl’s mind, a long statement of sentences that cheryl’s burned into her memory, never to fade for as long as she’ll live.

 

_“hey, jason…my name’s toni topaz. i’m…i’m cheryl’s girlfriend. it’s nice to finally meet you…i’m sorry it’s taken so long, we’ve been through… **a lot.** but she’s told me so much about you, and she misses you every single day. i think the pain in her heart from losing you will never fade, but i promise, i’m doing everything i can to help heal that part of her. i love her so much, jason, i really, really do. she’s the love of my life…the girl of my goddamn dreams, and from the moment i laid eyes on her, all i’ve wanted to do is make her happy. i wish…i wish i could’ve met you in person, because i know how happy you used to make her, and losing you hurt her so much. but i promise to spend the rest of my life looking after her. i swear to you, not a day will go by where i won’t do everything in my power to make cheryl happy, to make her feel loved. and more than anything…more than anything, i wanna say thank you. i wanna say thank you for loving cheryl and giving her at least a little bit of happiness in her life before i came along. thank you for looking after her, jason. i promise you i’m gonna spend the rest of my life doing the same.” _

 

the way toni had spoken with so much passion, god…cheryl hadn’t been able to stop herself from crying, and the energy that cheryl had felt spark through her, she _knows_ it was jason. it was nothing but happiness and pride, and toni had told her she felt it, too, telling her the hairs on the back of her neck had been on end from the moment she’d finished talking…

 

toni had been so understanding, had waited patiently without complaint as she listened to cheryl drone on and on to jason after she had spoken to him…it was her turn to be amazing now. 

 

she wants to meet toni’s parents. 

 

toni’s face is a delicate shade of green the longer she stares up toward the hill where cheryl suspects her parents are buried, the girl squeezing her hand so tightly, cheryl can feel her fingers turning blue, but she keeps silent and waits patiently as toni licks her lips and looks at her grandfather, swallowing thickly as she does.

 

“when…when’s the last time you went?” she croaks out. thomas sighs, pursing his lips before his eyes slowly move back over to jacob’s grave, no doubt coming to terms with the fact that he’d have two graves to visit now every time he came here. 

 

“a few days ago, actually. but i know you haven’t seen them in a while. go, little bird. we’ll be down here until you’re ready to go. you shouldn’t leave this cemetery alone.” he says, sighing in concern before he’s smiling as best he can at his granddaughter. cheryl’s grip on toni’s hand tightens, her eyes moving swiftly over the area for any sign of ghoulies before thomas turns and makes his way back to jacob’s grave, where byrdie wraps her arm around his waist in a side hug with a sympathetic smile.

 

cheryl turns back to look at toni a little apprehensively, but toni’s eyes are still on the hill top, her teeth gnawing at her bottom lip anxiously. cheryl can see the skin beginning to chap, and she reaches up and brushes her thumb under it to get her to stop, a habit she's slipped in to over the months they've been together. cheryl watches, mesmerized as her bottom lip bounces from under her teeth before she leans in to press the gentlest of kisses to it, pulling back with nothing but an understanding smile on her face.

 

toni wasn't ready. and it was fine, cheryl understands.

 

“we don’t have to, toni, if you’re not ready-.”

 

“no, i…i want you to meet them, cher. i’m more than ready for that, it’s just…i haven’t visited them in almost a year. with everything that’s been going on, i haven’t had time…” toni breathes, looking up at cheryl with tears shining in her eyes, regret and guilt shining through more than the fear and sadness. cheryl exhales shakily before she cradles toni’s delicate face between her hands, thumbs brushing over her cheekbones before she rests her full lips against the skin of her forehead, puckering them in the lightest of kisses as she does. 

 

“then let’s put an end to your extended absence, ma cherie. you went with me to see jason, it’s only fair i’m there to hold your hand through this, too.” she murmurs against her skin. toni exhales shakily, her breath hitting cheryl’s collarbone before she pushes herself up from where cheryl’s lips are pressed to her forehead to kiss them with her own instead, their hands clasped together and held under their chins adoringly. toni pulls away after a few moments, resting her forehead against cheryl’s before she sighs and nods.

 

“i love you.” 

 

“and i love you. come on, t.t.” cheryl pulls away from her, and toni smiles before she tightens her grip on cheryl’s hand and begins leading her up toward the hill top, being careful not to step over any graves disrespectfully as she does. 

 

they walk up the hill, cheryl struggling a little in her high heel boots as the ground eventually evens out. toni stops suddenly, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath in before she squeezes cheryl’s hand and continues walking. they pass a few rows of graves, cheryl’s eyes roaming over the countless names she sees and widening in surprise at the ones that have a two headed snake scratched into the tombstone.

 

so many serpents...cheryl finds herself wondering about the story of all of the deceased before her, wonders if toni knew any of the people who were in these graves they're walking past, but it doesn't seem like it, because most of the date deaths are before toni was even born, and she walks past them without a second glance, jaw clenched tight and hand squeezing cheryl's before she tugs her to the left and comes to a stop.

 

cheryl’s eyes fall on the two graves they’re standing in front of almost automatically before they move up to the tombstones at the head of them.

 

**MERCEDES MARIE TOPAZ**  
_14TH OF DECEMBER, 1981 – 10TH OF AUGUST, 2011_

 

**TOBIAS EDWARD TOPAZ**  
_27TH OF OCTOBER, 1980 – 10TH OF AUGUST, 2011_

 

cheryl inhales sharply, her heart pounding against her chest painfully at the sight. her eyes fall on the two headed snake scratched onto both their tombstones before she takes in the words scratched right at the bottom of both of them:

 

_**“IN UNITY THERE IS STRENGTH.”** _

 

she hears toni sniffle beside her, and cheryl swallows thickly, closing her eyes and taking just a second before she turns her head to see toni pursing her lips and staring down at the two graves before them with thick tears rolling down her cheeks. 

 

her parents...her mother and father who loved her, six feet under and gone.

 

when she speaks, the tone in her voice has cheryl’s heart clenching with pain.

 

“hi, mom. hi, dad.” she whispers, her pitch so high with the effort to contain her emotions it almost sounds nothing like her, and she slowly slides her hand out of cheryl’s grip to step forward and bend down between both graves, the green snake on the back of her jacket slightly stretching out from the action.

 

“i’m sorry i haven’t been around in a while…things have been a little crazy…” toni sniffs deeply with a chuckle and a clear of her throat, wiping away the tears on her cheeks as she looks between both graves with a small, sad smile on her face. her bottom lip is trembling, and cheryl wants nothing more than to wrap her arms around her and hold her close, to get rid of any ounce of pain currently invading her girlfriend’s heart…

 

fuck, this was hurting a lot more than cheryl expected it to...

 

“but there’s someone i want you to meet. someone who means the absolute world to me…she’s changed my life so much, made it so much better than i could’ve ever possibly imagined.” toni turns her face to look at the red head, the smile on her face widening as she holds her hand out for cheryl to take. 

 

cheryl slips her hand into toni’s without hesitation, cold fingers meeting warm ones as she steps forward while toni stands up, squeezing cheryl’s hand tightly for support before she exhales shakily.

 

“mom, dad…this is cheryl blossom. she’s my girlfriend…she’s…god, she’s more than that. i…” toni trails off, her voice shaking so hard, and cheryl blinks back her own tears as she leans into toni to kiss her temple gently. 

 

“shh, it’s okay, t.t. i can introduce myself.” she whispers. she wipes away the tears that fall down toni’s cheeks with her thumb before she turns to face the two graves before her.

 

she wants to tell them what toni means to her. just like toni did with jason, she wants this chance to tell the people who gave toni life how much she _loved_ them for it.

 

she can feel her own body trembling nervously before she clears her throat and smiles, closing her eyes and trying to pull up the image of toni’s mother and father that only existed two dimensionally for her…photos the only thing she has to go off of…

 

“hi, mr. and mrs. topaz. as toni said, my name is cheryl blossom. you’ve likely heard of my family before, we’ve been famous around riverdale for a long time…i have no doubt you have nothing but negativity associated with my family as well, especially considering the history of the uktena tribe with my great grand-pappy. but i just…i want to tell you…to tell you that my last name might be ‘blossom’, but who i am to your daughter, who i am when i'm _with_ your daughter…that’s who i truly am.” cheryl croaks out, licking her lips and sighing shakily before she lets go of toni’s hand and bends down closer to the graves before her, feeling the need to get closer.

 

“i want you to know that antoinette means the world to me. i’ve never loved anyone as much as i love her, and i know in my heart that i never will. she’s not just my girlfriend, mr. and mrs. topaz, she’s my _soulmate._ my paramour. the other half of my heart and the only person in my life to ever make me feel whole. she’s given me so much, so, so much…” cheryl can’t hold back her tears anymore, her heart aching for the girl she loves who is forced to stare down at the graves of her parents for the rest of her life, ripped away from her at such a young age…

 

she can almost see toni at age ten, crying in her grandfather’s arms, wondering where her parents were, why they hadn’t come home yet, why she was in a hospital with police officers and doctors surrounding her…a future where the man buried just down the hill would do nothing but hurt her and abuse her, god…

 

shared pain of abuse. it’s how they connected in the first place. in the same way cheryl flinches at the sound of raised voices after years of clifford and penelope screaming at her for everything and anything she did wrong, toni winces at the single sound of a belt whipping through the air, cheryl catching her mid grimace every single time she’d whip her belt off the hook on the wall to pull it through her the loops of her jeans. in the same way cheryl blinks back tears every time toni presses kisses to the scar on her back just beneath her serpent tattoo, toni’s bottom lip trembles and her throat bobs every time cheryl brushes her fingers over the small scars that litter her body, ones that jacob had given her. 

 

all these little things, these small things that made them so fragile, that showed just how damaged, how fucking broken they both were…

 

“i l-love her. i love her so much, mr. and mrs. topaz, and i promise you…i promise you i will never do anything to hurt her more than she’s already been hurt in this harrowing life we all lead. i promise to spend every second of every day making her smile. i’m so sorry that your lives were cut so tragically short, that your time with antoniette was so _limited_ , but i’ll love her enough for the three of us, i promise you.” cheryl smiles at the two graves before her, wishing more than anything that she had flowers to lay on top of them right now, but she has nothing. so instead, she stands before she presses her fingers to her ruby red lips and touches both gravestones, sighing shakily before she blinks the tears clinging to her eyelashes away and smiles.

 

“thank you. for bringing antoinette into this world…you didn’t know it then, but the second she came into this world, you gave a small girl with horrible parents and a terrible family a future she never thought was possible. i can never thank you enough for that.” cheryl swallows the lump in her throat, taking a few moments to relish in this moment of meeting the two people who mean more to toni than cheryl, the two people she missed more than anything in this world before she turns to face her girlfriend.

 

and little toni topaz is trembling, her face contorted in anguish before she holds her hand out for cheryl to take, soft whimpers and sobs escaping her. cheryl lets her own tears fall as she takes toni’s hand, and the girl tugs her forward before she’s wrapping herself so tightly in cheryl’s embrace, it’s hard to know where the pink haired girl begins and cheryl ends. 

 

she buries her face into cheryl’s neck with loud sobs, her whole body shaking as cheryl grips the back of her neck in her hand and whispers softly into her ear.

 

“i love you, toni, i love you so much…” cheryl breathes, sighing shakily as toni takes in shuddering breaths against her, nails digging into the back of her red serpent jacket tightly.

 

“you’re my w-world, cheryl. i love you m-more than i c-can say-.” toni stutters out, and cheryl simply coos gently into her ear to get her to keep breathing, rubbing her hand up and down her back soothingly as she does. 

 

so much pain...and for what? neither of them deserved it, least of all _toni..._

 

they simply stay wrapped in each other’s arms, cheryl waiting for the girl to pull away so she can talk to her parents, have a moment with them that she hasn't had in almost a year but toni doesn’t budge, and cheryl doesn’t comment on it.

 

today’s been emotional enough...maybe talking to her parents will just hurt her more…

 

a shiver that she can’t explain runs up her spine, a strange feeling of complete and utter _warmth_ spreading throughout her body and making her feel as if she’s floating on cloud nine. it’s nothing but love and pride and-

 

oh god. 

 

toni gasps in her ear, and cheryl _knows_ it’s because she feels it too-

 

“little bird?” cheryl looks up at the sound of thomas’s voice, pink hair invading her vision for a few moments before toni detaches herself from cheryl slowly and turns. thomas smiles at them both as he comes to a stop before them, his gaze moving past them to the two graves they’re standing in the middle of.

 

“grandpa, can…can you feel that?” toni croaks out, her eyes wide as she looks down at the two graves in shock, no doubt wondering if the energy they're feeling right now is _them._

 

cheryl has no doubt. she _knows_ that energy they felt at jason's grave was her twin brother, and this one was filled with such a similar energy, one of warmth and love, cheryl would be stupid to think it was anyone else. 

 

thomas’s smile only grows wider, a soft chuckle escaping him before he steps closer to them with a small nod.

 

“spirits roam stronger in cemeteries. it’s a final resting place, a sacred burial ground. i feel them, toni. i feel them every time i come here.” he says gruffly, looking around the cemetery before them with an almost haunted look in his eyes. 

 

god, cheryl finds thomas topaz _fascinating._ the man was so in tune with this idea of spirits and the spirit world, so in tune with himself and the energies of those around him...cheryl's only spoken to him once or twice about it, but she finds herself wanting to learn _more._

 

_not right now, cher. toni, remember?_

 

cheryl inhales sharply and turns to see toni licking her lips, looking at cheryl with a frown before she returns her gaze to her grandfather.

 

“i…i’ve never felt this before, though-.”

 

“you almost died, toni.” he says simply. cheryl immediately grips toni’s hand in her own, the words hitting her like ice daggers as they always fucking do every time she hears them, and the pink haired girl chews on her bottom lip anxiously before her eyes widen as if she's remembering something.

 

“i…grandpa, i’ve been having this weird dream lately. it's the same one, every time. i’m...i'm surrounded by nothing but white no matter how hard i run and i keep hearing all these moments in my life replaying in my mind, and then i trip and this wolf…this wolf nudges me to get me to move again, to keep pushing forward. what does it mean?” toni asks eagerly, desperate for an answer as she steps closer to her grandfather, dragging cheryl along with her. 

 

cheryl has no idea why toni's suddenly thinking of this dream, but she must be on the right train of thought, because to her surprise, he chuckles and reaches out to grip toni’s shoulder, squeezing it gently before he looks into her eyes with a mixture of pride and fondness.

 

“i think almost dying helped you discover the warrior within, little bird. i've always spoken to you about spirit animals..." he murmurs. toni's eyes widen, a soft gasp escaping her, and cheryl frowns in confusion, wondering what they're talking about when toni suddenly rests a hand over her chest and bows her head once.

 

"'a guide to help us through the journey of life.'" toni whispers, quoting what cheryl assumes is her grandfather as he winks at her once with a smirk.

 

"yes. listen to those dreams, toni. you'll discover what they mean when you truly open your eyes and _see._ " thomas says frimly, raising an eyebrow at her sternly, and toni swallows thickly before she nods once.

 

"okay." 

 

\-----------

 

“deep breaths, archie. everything’s going to be okay.” 

 

veronica’s voice is soft just in front of them, whispering into archie’s ear before she’s kissing his temple as he nods slowly, jaw clenched tight and eyes wide with fear.

 

this is it.

 

this is the day that archie andrews either gains back his freedom or loses _everything._

 

god, toni's pretty sure she's never been more impatient. she just wants to know already so they can begin to put into motion either a gigantic fucking party to celebrate or a prison break to bust archie out. 

 

toni sighs and leans in, reaching out to grip archie’s shoulder and give it a reassuring squeeze.

 

he turns, facing her with a smile before the door opens and the security guard exits the courtroom, looking at all of them sternly with a nod.

 

“alright. file in. just the defense team, the accused, and any family.” he says firmly before he steps aside, opening the door wider as mary and fred andrews and sierra mccoy stand, archie doing the same as he looks back at the others waiting in the hallway of the court building with him.

 

she watches archie swallow thickly, his throat bobbing as he looks at each of his friends who have gathered to be here with him before he grips kevin keller’s shoulder, smiling tightly and nodding once to sweet pea and fangs, who simply bow their heads solemnly at him.

 

“you’re gonna be okay, archie.” kevin says firmly, jaw clenched tight as archie nods numbly and pulls away from the former sheriff's son to turn to josie, who smiles sadly with tears in her eyes before she hugs him close. as soon as he pulls away, josie grips sweet pea's hand in her own, and toni hears the disapproving huff from sierra mccoy behind her, but she doesn't focus on it.

 

because archie moves to face cheryl, and the saddest fucking smile takes over his face as cheryl’s bottom lip trembles before she’s wrapping her arms around archie’s neck, hugging him tightly with a whimper.

 

this boy saved her life and now he could be facing the rest of his life in prison...this just wasn't fucking _fair._

 

“thank you, archie. for everything you’ve ever done for me.” cheryl whispers. archie squeezes her tight with a smile before he pulls away, and he leans in to press a kiss to her brow, hands brushing her hair back gently as he does before he pulls away and turns to toni, his smile only growing wider. 

 

“you keep each other safe, alright?” he says his voice rough and shaking slightly as he grips toni's shoulder and pulls her into his arms slowly, resting his chin on top of her head as she buries her face into his chest with a shaky sigh and a nod.

 

“we will.” she whispers. archie kisses her forehead just the same as he did cheryl’s, pulling away moments later and smiling before he turns to jughead and betty.

 

they both move forward and embrace archie tightly, tears streaming down betty’s face, jughead clenching his jaw to prevent the same as archie closes his eyes and sighs loudly. 

 

the core four, broken up right before their eyes...it wasn't fair...

 

they hug for a good ten seconds before archie pulls back, and when his eyes land on veronica, toni feels her heart break.

 

veronica looks so scared, but she doesn’t cry, keeps her head high and blinks back her tears with a smile so she can stay strong for her boyfriend. archie swallows before he wraps veronica up in his arms, the girl stroking the back of his head as she closes her eyes and sighs shakily.

 

“you’re gonna be okay, archie. they’re gonna find you innocent, they have to.” she croaks out. archie ducks his head into her shoulder with a firm nod, squeezing her waist before he pulls away and kisses her deeply. veronica whines against him, hands cradling his face before she pulls away with a loud sniff.

 

“archie? come on, son…” fred calls out, his voice shaking as he holds his arm out. he looks almost green with fear and nerves as he grips archie’s shoulder, pulling him in for a hug that has toni averting her gaze and moving in closer to cheryl, wrapping her arms around the redhead’s waist in an effort to ground herself.

 

she can’t watch…she can’t watch this, what could be archie and fred’s final moments together, she can’t watch another family be torn apart…

 

god, this week has been too fucking much…it’s too much, when are they gonna catch a goddamn break? just one moment of reprieve, one moment of peace…

 

she wishes they could all go back to that day at the diner more than anything, all of them just enjoying a meal together at their favorite place, no worries about court cases and gang wars and stabbings and dead or abusive relatives…

 

she buries her face into cheryl’s collarbone, the red haired girl wrapping her arms around her shoulders and resting her lips on toni’s brow as they wait for the guard to allow them to come in. as soon as fred, mary, sierra and archie walk into the court room, the door shuts behind them, and josie lets out a sigh of relief behind them as sweet pea chuckles.

 

“your mom hates me.” he grumbles. josie sighs and leans up to press a kiss to his cheek.

 

“she’ll come around.” she murmurs under her breath. sweet pea grunts with a shrug as kevin makes his way over to veronica, who turns and buries her face against his chest with a groan.

 

“god, i feel like i’m gonna throw up.” she whines, her voice muffled by kevin’s shirt as toni pushes herself closer to cheryl. 

 

“he’s going to be okay, veronica. he has to be.” cheryl whispers, her throat vibrating against toni’s lips as she lifts her head to press a kiss to her pulse. 

 

he has to be okay, archie didn’t deserve this…he didn’t deserve to go to prison for something he didn’t do, this wasn’t fair.

 

five more minutes pass before the doors open again and the security guards allow them to file in, and toni pulls away from cheryl’s embrace, her heart racing against her chest painfully. cheryl keeps a tight hold on her hand as she drags her through the door, and toni’s eyes land on the jury to the far top right corner of the court room, to the judge in the middle of the room seated high above them, then down to archie, sierra and mary seated to the left of the room. 

 

archie turns back to watch them walk in, a smile lighting up his strong features as veronica takes a seat right behind him. the others collapse into the front row beside her, cheryl clutching toni’s hand in her own as more people slowly begin to file in.

 

toni’s trying to divulge an answer on the verdict from the jury, trying to read the look on their faces, but it’s no use. they’re all expressionless, completely devoid as they keep their eyes either on the judge or the laps, not looking at archie one bit. they don’t even look at the prosecution team either, and toni admires their tenacity before the judge bangs his gavel to get the room to quiet down, allowing the last of the stragglers to fall into their seats quickly. 

 

the door opens a few seconds later, and toni turns with a frown that quickly turns into a contorted face of disgust as hiram lodge walks into the room, staying at the back instead of falling into a seat as he sinks against the wall and crosses his arms over each other. 

 

god, what the hell was he doing here?! toni doesn't understand, why was he so hellbent on bringing archie down? because archie challenged him? it doesn't make any fucking sense-

 

he makes eye contact with toni, the only person who seems to have noticed his entrance, and he gives her a small smile before he nods once. toni grits her teeth and squeezes cheryl’s hand, and cheryl looks at her in concern, following her gaze until she’s clenching her jaw and scoffing in disbelief.

 

“he has no tact, truly.” she murmurs under her breath. toni nods slowly, turning to face the front just as the judge begins to talk.

 

“as we all know, we are gathered here in this court room to determine a verdict in the case of the state vs. archibald andrews. a jury of twelve have been gathered to determine whether mr. andrews is guilty or innocent of the crime of murder, one mr. cassidy bullock. has the jury come to a decision?” the judge looks up at the jury over his glasses, and toni watches as a man who looks like he’s at least in his early forties stands with a piece of paper in his hands.

 

“we have, your honor.” he says simply. toni licks her lips as veronica inhales sharply on cheryl’s other side, and cheryl looks to the raven haired girl before she holds her hand out for veronica to squeeze, which she does, clutching tightly with her wide eyes on archie in front of her. 

 

“very well then, for the charge of first degree murder, how does the jury find the defendant?” 

 

“he’s gonna be okay, v…” toni hears betty whisper on the other side of the girl, and toni watches as the man looks down at this piece of paper in his hands and clears his throat. 

 

“your honor, the jury finds the defendant, archibald andrews…not guilty.” 

 

toni hears veronica whimper, sees mary let out the biggest sigh of relief before she covers her mouth with her hands, sees archie close his eyes as his whole body trembles before the judge keeps going, toni's heart thundering so loudly in her ears, she barely hears the next verdict.

 

“for the charge of handling an unregistered weapon, how does the jury find the defendant?” 

 

“the jury finds the defendant, archibald andrews…not guilty.” 

 

holy shit...holy shit this was happening, this was _happening_ , archie was going to be free, he was being found innocent-

 

“for the charge of intention to cause grevious bodily harm, how does the jury find the defendant?”

 

“the jury finds the defendant, archiebald andrews…not guilty.” 

 

veronica lets out a choked sob of relief as the murmurs that have slowly been buzzing around the room grow louder, toni blinking back tears as cheryl chuckles in disbelief beside her.

 

he's free. archie's a free man, they found him innocent of all charges, holy fuck-

 

archie turns around in his seat to look at them, meeting veronica’s eyes, and god, the complete look of shock, but utter _relief_ in his eyes-

 

“well, in that case, mr. andrews…you are free to go. the court is dismissed, the case of the state vs. archibald andrews is officially closed.” he bangs his gavel before he stands, and archie looks to sierra and mary in confusion as if he's not quite sure if he should be celebrating or not before mary pulls him into her arms tightly, tears of happiness falling down her cheeks. 

 

fred jumps up from the far left of them as he runs toward archie, who pulls away from his mother and hugs his father tightly.

 

he’s free. he’s free, he’s not going to juvie, they found him innocent-

 

archie pulls away from his father and moves to walk through the door that separates the defendant’s table from the audience, and veronica practically jumps up from her seat and into his arms, crying loudly as she wraps her legs around his waist and buries her face into his neck. 

 

“i knew it! i knew it, i knew it-.” she cries over and over again, archie holding her close with a laugh of disbelief. the others move to crowd around him as fred watches with a smile, tears shining in his eyes. 

 

archie was _free._

 

toni looks to cheryl, who smiles down at her widely before she’s grabbing her face and kissing her deeply, a celebratory kiss for the friend they all cared and loved so...

 

toni pulls away in a slight daze a moment later as archie pulls jughead in for a hug with a loud laugh, cheryl smiling at the sight as toni’s eyes wander to the back of the room almost subconsciously.

 

what she sees, makes her heart clench and her stomach turn, bile rising in the back of her throat.

 

hiram lodge is watching archie celebrate with his jaw clenched in rage, and the look in his eyes is _murderous._

 

fear strikes deep in toni’s heart, clawing against her ribs painfully, and she watches helplessly as hiram pulls his phone out of his pocket and opens the door to exit, not even glancing back at any of them as he does.

 

and toni has the worst, worst feeling sitting deep in her stomach that even though archie’s court case was over…

 

his battle, and ultimately, _their_ battle, was far from over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if I wrote anything wrong regarding traditional Native American burials I apologize, I tried to keep it vague and brief so i wouldn’t disrespect the culture by getting it wrong. <3


	16. come out and play

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...
> 
> :D :D
> 
> leave a comment letting me know what you think! or you can scream at me on twitter at @endofdaysforme, pick your poison!

it’s the calm before the storm.

 

it’s the peaceful silence before the absolute and utter chaos that will eventually take over, destroying everything from the inside out. the inevitable destruction, a man made hurricane formed by none other than hiram lodge.

 

the town of riverdale will never be the same after tonight. 

 

and yet, blissfully unaware do toni topaz and cheryl blossom remain as they continue to push and pull against each other, clothes desperately being shed, a need for skin to skin contact burning within the both of them deeply, passionately, obsessively…

 

their lives are going to change forever come tomorrow.

 

but for now:

 

“ugh!”

 

toni pulls away from cheryl’s lips with a deep gasp and a groan, her head tilting back and only allowing cheryl to attack her neck with feverish kisses that leave her skin burning for more. she lets cheryl slide her serpent jacket off her shoulders, where she drops it to the ground unceremoniously before cupping a hand around toni’s neck to bite down on her pulse point desperately.

 

the fingers of her free hand find the hem of toni’s shirt, tugging on it harshly before she’s pulling it up and over toni’s head and throwing it down beside the serpent jacket, nails digging and scratching down caramel colored skin-

 

“i need you, toni…” cheryl’s breathy voice fills her ears before fingers are gripping her chin and puppeteering her to full, ruby red lips, crimson making its mark across her flesh as cheryl’s teeth clamp down on toni’s plump bottom lip to tug on it, sucking on it eagerly with a deep moan that has a shiver running up toni’s spine.

 

black polished nails grip the red leather of cheryl’s jacket before she’s all but ripping it off her body, desperate to get this girl as close as possible, to take her over and over again and to witness the absolute _pleasure_ that takes over cheryl blossom’s face when she reaches her climax.

 

it’s not a want, it’s a need. toni _needs_ this.

 

after a week of nothing but ups and downs, toni _needs_ this.

 

as exhausted as they both are after spending the night at pop’s celebrating archie’s win, they’d spent the whole night wrapped in each other’s embrace, this goddamn knot forming inside both their stomachs, and toni can think of nothing else that could keep her pushing past her fatigue than cheryl blossom.

 

this week has been a mixture of heaven and hell, and right now, toni wants nothing more than to just stay in limbo, just for a moment…with the girl she loves.

 

cheryl pushes toni back toward the bed before she’s sliding her hands underneath her thighs and lifting her up onto the bed, pushing her down until she’s flat on her back. she crawls on top of toni, straddling her lap, and toni’s hands immediately fly up to grip her hips, nails moving under her shirt to scratch at alabaster skin as cheryl sits up and grabs her shirt to pull it up and over her head with a heavy pant.

 

_god, she’s the most **beautiful** thing i’ve ever witnessed…_

 

her fingers brush over the pale skin of her stomach, eliciting a shiver from the girl above her before toni’s propping herself up on one elbow and curling a hand around cheryl’s neck to bring her down for a bruising kiss, moans escaping the both of them before cheryl’s gripping her shoulders and pushing her back down onto the bed, her lips moving down to encapsulate the flesh of her neck as her fingers pop open the button of her jeans.

 

“i’m trying…not to be too rough…but, god, _toni…_ ” cheryl whimpers against the skin of her neck breathlessly between kisses, and the words spark something inside toni as she bucks her hips up into cheryl with a whine.

 

“fuck, cheryl, be rough, i don’t care, just _touch me-._ ” 

 

cheryl can’t seem to wait much longer either, her fingers gripping the belt loops of toni’s jeans before she’s sliding off toni’s lap and all but ripping them off her, and before toni can even think, cheryl’s pushing her underwear to the side and dragging her tongue up slick folds, moaning at the taste that fills her mouth.

 

toni’s head collapses back onto the bed with a groan, her chest heaving as cheryl tugs her underwear down her legs before hooking them over her shoulders and sinking down to her knees beside the bed. she grips toni’s thighs and tugs her closer, toni’s breath hitching at the action before she’s using that goddamn tongue to work her magic once more-

 

cheryl’s name escapes toni’s lips in a choked out whine, a mantra repeated over and over and over again like prayer as she props herself up onto her elbows to look down at the glorious sight before her.

 

red lipstick makes it’s mark on her inner thighs, sucking and biting and teasing before cheryl moves back to her center once more, and toni reaches a shaking hand out to brush cheryl’s hair back from her face, not wanting anything to block the sight of the woman she loves pleasuring her. 

 

cheryl makes eye contact with her with a smirk etched on her face before she’s humming against her and pulling away, sliding two fingers straight into wet heat and curling her fingers up to hit the spot that has toni’s back arching off the bed-

 

cheryl moves up and grips her left thigh to wrap it around her waist, toni obediently curling the other one over her slim figure as cheryl trails kisses up her stomach before reaching her chest. she thrusts _hard,_ toni’s back moving off the bed with a loud cry once more, and cheryl takes the opportunity to snake her hand around her back to unclip her bra, pulling it off her body roughly before her teeth and lips and tongue are attacking toni’s left breast eagerly, teeth nipping at the perky bud before she’s capturing it with her mouth, tongue swirling over the sting of her teeth to soothe the ache she’s caused.

 

“fuck, cheryl-.” toni chokes out, her throat seizing with the pleasure pounding through her core as cheryl releases her nipple with a pop and moves to the other breast, lathering it with the same attention she gave the other one while her fingers keep thrusting in and out of toni diligently. a thumb raises to press against the straining, soaked bud above where her fingers are moving so powerfully-

 

the ache in her side from her wounds is barely noticeable, the only thing toni can feel is lust and desire and pleasure, every thrust of cheryl’s fingers sending her mind into a frenzy as she arches her chest up further into cheryl’s mouth, unable to get enough of her girlfriend’s skillful tongue against her skin.

 

she feels like she should be getting upset at how cheryl is marking her with that goddamn maple cherry lipstick she’s so famous for, because the shit takes at least a good half hour of scrubbing in the shower to come off, but she can’t bring it in her to care when cheryl’s pushing her down into the mattress with her hips and sinking her fingers so deeply inside her, massaging her frontal wall and moaning at the way toni flutters and clenches around her fingers-

 

she slips a third finger in, the stretch of it making toni almost scream as cheryl pulls away from her chest, red lipstick a smudged mess over her full lips and chin as she crashes them against toni’s hungrily, moaning into her mouth while the whole goddamn bed shakes with the effort to get toni to her climax.

 

“look at me, t.t., look…” cheryl trails off with a moan against her lips as she makes eye contact with toni, and one vigorous thrust as her thumb pushes down harshly on her clit, and toni is _gone._

 

filthy moans escape her as her thighs grip around cheryl’s waist, the red haired girl continuing to thrust into her to prolong her orgasm as toni writhes underneath her, nails digging into the skin of her back and dragging harshly as her eyes flutter closed and her brow furrows-

 

“open your eyes, toni.” cheryl breathes, and god, she’s trying, but they’re fucking rolling into the back of her head right now as she clenches and _clenches_ around three long and perfect fucking fingers that keep pumping so deliciously in and out of her-

 

she finally manages to blink her eyes open blearily as her orgasm begins to ebb away, chocolate brown eyes staring into equally dark eyes as she pants for air, muscles clenching and hips twitching before she finally relaxes back down onto the bed with that perfect, smudged red smile forming on cheryl’s face at the sight before her.

 

“you are so beautiful, antoinette topaz…” cheryl croaks out, her fingers finally coming to a halt as she skims her nose across toni’s jawline before she nudges it under toni’s chin to tilt her head back, the pink haired serpent still gasping for air as cheryl presses her swollen lips to the column of her throat tenderly. 

 

toni’s mind is buzzing with static, unable to think a single thought as cheryl slowly removes her fingers from inside her, and toni’s legs collapse back onto the mattress with a whine. cheryl chuckles as she moves to straddle toni’s lap once more, and toni looks up at her girlfriend, takes in the sight of her flushed cheeks and smudged lipstick and decides what she wants to do.

 

she sits up, hands gripping cheryl’s waist before they curl around her back to unclip her bra, and she pulls it off roughly before she’s wrapping her lips around the rosy peak of cheryl’s right breast, the other hand moving up to roll and pinch the other nipple between her fingers as cheryl bucks her hips down onto toni’s with a soft moan.

 

“toni, please-.” 

 

pink lips meet smudged red to silence her, a muffled moan escaping the red head before toni flips them over until cheryl’s on her back, a shriek of surprise rumbling in her throat as toni pushes her further up the bed roughly, hands gripping her knees to prop them up on either side of her body before she’s slithering down milky flesh with desperate, open mouthed kisses-

 

teeth make their black and blue mark on cheryl’s skin, nipping and biting as toni pleases, because the town of riverdale may know that cheryl blossom belongs to toni topaz and toni topaz belongs to cheryl blossom, but a small, quaint town obtaining the knowledge is not enough for the pink haired serpent.

 

she wants the whole goddamn _world_ to know that this girl is _hers_ and no one else’s. 

 

ribs protrude under pale flesh as cheryl’s back arches off the bed with a moan of pleasure, teeth scraping over each bone before she kisses the sting away and wraps her hands under cheryl’s thighs to bend her legs up further. she reaches for the zipper of her plaid skirt, pulling it down as cheryl lifts her hips off the bed to let toni pull it out from under her and drop it over the side of the bed. she hooks her fingers into pink, lacy underwear as she licks a firm line from hipbone to hipbone while pulling them down long legs, relishing in the way cheryl whines before she’s dropping her underwear down to join her skirt and resting her hands on said hipbones to push cheryl’s hips further into the mattress. 

 

toni sucks and nips at her inner thighs, the thick and strong muscles from years of cheerleading flexing and tensing with each bite before she’s licking a line up cheryl’s slit, moaning at the taste that hits her as she places her tongue back in to savor the taste on the roof of her mouth.

 

she will never, ever get over this, not for as long as she lives-

 

red manicured nails sink into pink locks as toni continues dutifully, tongue moving over every inch of cheryl’s center to give her girlfriend the same pleasure she’d given her moments before, and cheryl’s scratching at her scalp gently as toni looks up to see her watching toni with the softest god damn smile on her face, her brow furrowed as she pants heavily and licks those goddamn red lips of hers. toni simply winks once, causing cheryl to laugh breathlessly before she’s falling back down with a groan when toni’s tongue makes contact with her clit, the tip of it tracing circles over and over and over again until cheryl’s fingers tighten roughly.

 

“toni-ugh!” 

 

moan after moan escapes swollen lips as toni feels cheryl gushing against her lips and chin, the inside of her thighs heating up and almost burning her ears as they clench around her head repeatedly, but toni doesn’t mind, because fuck, what a way to go, having your goddamn head popped off while it rests between the legs of cheryl goddamn blossom-

 

toni continues dragging her tongue up and down the length of her, her jaw slack as she softens each stroke until cheryl’s completely relaxed on the bed once more, panting heavily in post orgasm bliss. toni wipes her lips and chin with the back of her hand before she’s kissing her way back up to cheryl slowly, humming with a smile as cheryl’s nails rake through her hair affectionately.

 

“now that, miss cheryl blossom, is how we do it.” toni teases, grinning widely as she presses a soft kiss to cheryl’s neck and moves up to her lips as the girl laughs breathlessly against her before lazily kissing toni back. 

 

“as much…as i enjoyed the soft sex…i _missed_ this so much…” cheryl breathes, lips trailing over the corner of toni’s mouth and her cheek in gentle kisses before she’s wrapping her arms around toni’s back and dragging her up to the pillows. 

 

toni’s head naturally comes to rest on cheryl’s collarbone, the red haired girl’s arms wrapping around her easily, palms moving up and down her arms as her lips rest against toni’s brow with a tired sigh.

 

they’re silent for a few moments, simply basking in the peaceful silence and the touch of skin on skin as toni brushes her fingers up and down cheryl’s stomach, eyelids drooping more and more by the second.

 

“toni?” cheryl croaks out suddenly, causing the pink haired girl to frown before she simply responds with a soft hum. 

 

it’s silent again for a few moments, and toni’s about to push herself up to see what’s wrong before cheryl finally replies.

 

“do you ever just get this horrible, sinking feeling that something bad is about to happen?” cheryl whispers, nails digging slightly into toni’s arm, and this time, toni does prop herself up on one elbow, cheryl’s hands dropping down to her forearm as toni watches the look of concern and worry on her face with one of her own.

 

_that’s…kind of out of nowhere…_

 

“what makes you think that something bad is gonna happen, cher?” she asks hoarsely, leaning in to kiss cheryl’s throat soothingly as the girl shifts beneath her roaming fingers with a shaky sigh.

 

“i don’t know…it’s just a feeling, deep in here…” cheryl murmurs, resting her hands over her stomach on top of toni’s trailing hand before she makes eye contact with her girlfriend, teeth gnawing on a red bottom lip anxiously. toni’s hand moves out from under her pale one to brush her thumb beneath her bottom lip, causing cheryl to release it as toni smiles at her softly and leans in to press her lips to the corner of cheryl’s mouth.

 

she knows where this is coming from. cheryl’s insecurities are ones that toni knows inside and out, it’s hard for her to accept something good in her life without something bad happening to balance it out…after years of nothing but abuse, verbal, physical, emotional…of course it was hard for cheryl to think that she could keep a hold of anything good. 

 

“it’s because something _good_ happened for once, cheryl. archie being found innocent of all charges is the first good thing to happen in this god forsaken town in the longest time, it’s natural to think that something bad is bound to happen, but it isn’t, okay?” toni whispers optimistically, a smile spreading over her lips as cheryl looks up at her with a shaky smile of her own.

 

“nothing bad is gonna happen, baby girl…we’re gonna be just fine.” toni promises with a whisper, and cheryl hesitates before she licks her lips and nods slowly, smiling as toni presses a quick kiss to her lips and sinks back down into her side with a happy sigh.

 

cheryl doesn’t say anything, simply presses kisses over toni’s forehead before she’s chuckling and brushing her thumb over toni’s lips.

 

“there’s red marks all over you.” toni sighs again, this time more in fatigue than happiness as she pushes herself up again with a roll of her eyes.

 

“of course there is, you and that goddamn lipstick…” toni grumbles, digging her fingers into cheryl’s sides with a cheeky grin as the girl writhes and giggles loudly.

 

“shower?” toni asks with a breathless laugh, grinning as cheryl hums and nods slowly before she’s slapping a hand over toni’s backside with a wicked grin.

 

“race you!” she shouts, pushing toni back lightly and jumping off the bed before she’s skipping toward the bathroom. toni blinks in surprise before she rolls her eyes with an affectionate and fond laugh.

 

“i’m dating a twelve year old!” she yells out playfully, so reminiscent of all those weeks ago when cheryl had said the same thing before she’s jumping off the bed and running toward the bathroom with a giggle.

 

and although for now, they remain blissfully unaware…

 

they’ll learn, come tomorrow, that cheryl’s instincts are always right.

 

\-----------------

 

for cheryl blossom, there’s few things in the life she’s experienced so far that have made her feel content and happy. 

 

one of those was being in the presence of her twin brother, jason, the boy able to make her feel calm with a simple touch of his hand or a kiss to her forehead. another one of those things, was driving in the impala she and jason shared, relishing in the wind blowing through her hair and the purr of the engine as her foot eased down on the accelerator driving through the streets of riverdale.

 

both things she once had, now forever gone, with jason’s body resting in a grave in the blossom cemetery on the estate and the mangled, destroyed remains of the impala in the garage in a grave of its own.

 

but over the last few months, she’s gained something new. something that wasn’t familial, something that wasn’t vehicular. 

 

something that was the deepest, _purest_ form of connection. 

 

that something is toni topaz. 

 

cheryl wakes up in the morning to her nose nuzzled into soft, pink hair, the slightly salty smell mixed with lavender shampoo invading her senses as she inhales deeply and flutters her closed eyes open slowly. they’re resting on their sides, one of cheryl’s arms pinned beneath the space between toni’s neck and the mattress, curled around the pink haired serpent’s chest while her other arm is wrapped around her slim waist, one of her legs jammed between toni’s with the curve of her backside pressing against cheryl’s hips. 

 

it’s perfect. absolutely perfect, the way toni’s body slots beautifully in against her own, and the only thing missing is the touch of skin on skin, clothing in the way of that warmth cheryl loves so much as she presses her chest a little closer to toni’s back, the arm around her waist tightening just a little while the hand resting on her collarbone moves under the strap of the tank top toni’s wearing, thumb brushing tenderly over the bone jutting out under the flesh.

 

toni surprisingly doesn’t wake, her chest touching cheryl’s forearm with each inhale she takes as cheryl smiles fondly and pulls her in just that little bit closer, closing her eyes and humming in content despite herself. 

 

pink hair is sticking to her mouth, but she can’t find it in her to care. she doesn’t want to move, wishes they could stay like this forever, which is why she’s taking the extra precautions to make sure she doesn’t wake her girlfriend. she wants to live in this moment for as long as possible, until the inevitable moment that comes when toni wakes up.

 

she has no idea how much time passes, relishing in the feeling of toni’s body against her own, but eventually she hears birds chirping outside, the sun breaking over the horizon and shining through the curtains of her open window as a gentle breeze ruffles them, and she feels toni’s legs twitch against her own before the pink haired serpent inhales deeply, the arm draped over cheryl’s one resting around her waist moving to drag up and down her pale arm before her fingers close around cheryl’s wrist in a gentle grip.

 

“cher? you awake?” toni murmurs, voice thick with sleep as cheryl nudges her nose into toni’s hair and hums in response before pressing a kiss to the back of her head.

 

“mmm…don’t move. indulge me, t.t., i want to live in this moment for a little longer.” cheryl croaks out. toni chuckles, but obeys, allows cheryl to drag her nose through pink curls and breathe her in as she wiggles her backside a little more against cheryl’s hips before her fingers are trailing up and down the arm around her waist. 

 

“any more dreams of wolves?” cheryl whispers, dropping a kiss to toni’s shoulder, and the girl sighs before she simply nods once, humming when cheryl’s lips move up to kiss the back of her ear.

 

“mmm, yeah…but it’s not causing me to wake up in the middle of the night anymore…it just kind of keeps replaying, but i feel…calmer about it now. i don’t know how to explain it.” toni mumbles, the hand trailing up and down her arm moving to her face to rub the sleep from her eyes as she yawns tiredly. 

 

cheryl finds herself annoyed that she’s missing such an adorable sight, so she finally loosens her hold around toni’s body and allows the girl to turn over until she’s facing her girlfriend. she blinks lazily up at cheryl with a tired smile, and cheryl reaches a hand up to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear gently with a smile of her own.

 

the sun is shining on toni’s face, illuminating her features brilliantly with a soft, golden glow, and cheryl can’t help herself. she cradles toni’s cheek with the palm of her hand, thumb brushing over the flushed cheekbone tenderly before she leans in and kisses her, soft, plump lips capturing a buttery bottom one softly. toni hums against her, fingers digging into cheryl’s sides as one leg moves up to wrap around cheryl’s waist. 

 

cheryl hooks a hand around her knee and pulls it up higher before she’s trailing it up a smooth thigh, inhaling deeply as toni’s lips move languidly against her own. her hand comes to rest over toni’s backside before she’s groping her greedily with a grin, and toni laughs against her before she pulls away and looks at her with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

 

“you have an obsession with my ass, blossom.”

 

“of course i do, it’s a very firm one, t.t.” she reiterates it with a slap of her palm against the muscle, and toni laughs loudly before she grins and moves her hand under cheryl’s shirt to scratch her nails down her skin, her lips attaching to cheryl’s once more with a little more purpose this time. 

 

god, they kiss for the longest time, lips smacking loudly, making cheryl’s head spin as the hand on her backside moves up to grip the side of toni’s neck, thumb trailing over the black and blue hickeys that have formed there from their rendezvous last night. 

 

the possibility of morning sex makes cheryl’s heart flutter, and it looks like it’s definitely leading that way, because toni whimpers against her before she’s kissing her a little more insistently, the hand beneath her shirt moving around to cup her breast and squeeze until cheryl’s moaning into her mouth hotly-

 

a phone ringing causes them both to jump apart in surprise before toni growls lightly and attaches her lips to cheryl’s neck when the girl turns her head to grab her phone, causing cheryl to gasp and forget her task as her fingers grip pink hair tightly.

 

“ignore it…they…can call…back…” toni breathes between hot kisses to her skin, and cheryl whines, licking her lips and shaking her head regretfully before she tucks a finger under toni’s chin and lifting her gaze up.

 

“it might be important.” she murmurs, and toni pouts before cheryl turns with a chuckle and grabs her phone off the bedside table, yanking it out of the charger and frowning when she sees jughead’s name at the top of her phone.

 

shit.

 

“hello?” 

 

“hey, sorry to wake you up so early, but there’s serpent business that needs attending to. how soon can you get to the lakeside?” jughead’s voice sounds a little strained, and cheryl bites down on her bottom lip and looks to toni with worry before she nods to herself.

 

“uh, give us an hour or so. we’ll come as soon as we finish eating breakfast.” cheryl murmurs, scratching at her brow absentmindedly as toni rolls her eyes and sinks back down onto the mattress with a tired sigh, causing cheryl to bite down on her bottom lip to stop herself from giggling.

 

“yeah, course. take your time, it’s not completely urgent, but i’d still like you to be here as soon as possible.” he grumbles. cheryl rolls her eyes as well, but smiles down at toni, who mouths the words ‘hang up’ to her with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

 

“alright. we’ll be there as soon.”

 

“no problem. see you then.” jughead’s barely finished his sentence before cheryl hangs up and throws the phone onto the bed, jumping down on top of toni with a giggle. the pink haired serpent chuckles and lets cheryl settle between her legs, the red haired girl’s hands coming to rest on either side of toni’s head before she ducks down to kiss her softly.

 

“mmm, serpent business?” toni murmurs against her lips, and cheryl simply nods, humming as she kisses her once more with a smile.

 

“how the tables have turned, t.t…how many times did i ask ‘serpent business’ before you’d go running?” cheryl teases. toni laughs loudly, her head thrown back in hysteria, and cheryl takes the opportunity to begin pressing kisses to the black and blue skin there with pillowy, gentle lips as toni throws her arms around her neck to pull her down closer. 

 

“how the night changes, huh, baby girl?” she teases back, and cheryl hums against her throat, dropping another kiss to her skin before she pulls up to look into her eyes with a fond smile.

 

“except this time, we’re in this together. ‘serpent business’ involves both of us.” cheryl says happily, and toni’s smile is goddamn _heartwarming_ as she reaches a hand up to tuck a lock of hair behind cheryl’s ear.

 

“it sure does, second in command.” she whispers, pride shining in her eyes that has cheryl biting down on her lower lip to stop herself from grinning. toni tugs her down, lips hungrily attacking cheryl’s and causing the girl to sink into her arms with a moan, her brain buzzing with static and god, she wishes they could just stay here forever, wrapped in each other’s arms-

 

“mmm, come on, t.t., we should get some breakfast in so we can go to the lakeside.” she murmurs, pulling away regretfully and sighing sadly at the pout on toni’s face.

 

“do we have to? can’t we just stay here?” she whines, nails scratching the skin of cheryl’s shoulders underneath her shirt.

 

“it’s for serpent business, t.t, since when do you flake out on that?” cheryl says sternly, surprised a little at toni's attitude, and toni shrugs as she leans up to kiss the corner of her mouth.

 

“since i got the world’s most amazing girlfriend who i’d rather spend all day in bed with. it’s simple, cher.” she says with a cheeky smile, and god, the fact that toni's willing to just skip out on _serpent duty_ to spend time with cheryl-

 

it has cheryl crashing a kiss to her lips with ferocity, hands moving under her shirt to massage the skin on her sides as toni hums in content and moves her lips against cheryl’s languidly. 

 

cheryl forces herself to pull away, thinking about the serpents, her family, lips smacking loudly before she looks into toni’s eyes and kisses the tip of her nose tenderly.

 

“i love you, toni.” she whispers. toni chuckles and does the same to her.

 

“i love you too, cheryl.” cheryl smiles, a quick kiss pressed to pink lips before she pushes herself off of toni slowly and very, very reluctantly.

 

_this can wait. we have the rest of our lives for this, cheryl..._

 

“mmm, come on. breakfast, then work.” 

 

“ugh, fine.”

 

toni makes them eggs and toast, cheryl watching her do so fondly as she sips a glass of orange juice with a smile. it’s so domestic, it makes cheryl’s heart flutter, the way toni hums a song softly while she scrambles the eggs and dances her way over to the toaster, spreading butter on the slices with a smile dancing on her lips…

 

it’s been a while since toni’s made breakfast, since before her injury, and the sight makes cheryl crave it even more, wanting nothing more than to spend every day for the rest of her life either making breakfast for her girl, or watching toni dance around the kitchen making breakfast for the both of them.

 

she's never, ever felt this before in her life. and even though it's terrifying, it's also something she never wants to let go of.

 

toni is it. she'll be _it_ for the rest of her goddamn life and she knows it.

 

they sit at the table, making sure to keep quiet so they don’t wake lisa or nana rose, eating their breakfast with toni’s right hand interlaced with cheryl’s left, the pink haired girl dropping random kisses to her bare shoulder every once in a while before they finish up and wash their dishes together.

 

they head upstairs to quickly change, and toni’s in the process of putting the finishing touches to her makeup when cheryl enters the bathroom, wearing black jeans and one of toni’s red shirts that rides up a little to expose her stomach, a nude lipstick covering her lips for once as she smiles and moves behind toni, wrapping her arms around her waist and dropping a kiss to her hair. toni’s wearing a simple black vest top, her snake choker dangling around her neck as cheryl scratches at the denim of her blue jeans covering her thighs. 

 

“ready?”

 

“mmm, one sec.” toni smacks her lips together, shiny lip gloss glimmering in the light, and cheryl raises an eyebrow at her in the mirror.

 

“it’s gonna come up before we even get to the lakeside.” toni frowns and sets the gloss down on the counter before she turns in cheryl’s arms.

 

“why-.” cheryl cuts her off with a deep kiss, lips capturing toni's bottom one and the taste of strawberry gloss immediately hitting her tongue as toni whines in protest before she melts into the kiss with a chuckle, pulling away and looking at cheryl with a smirk.

 

“should’ve seen that coming.”

 

“mmm, you should’ve. come on, let’s go.” cheryl interlaces their fingers before she makes her way out of her room, grabbing both their serpent jackets and handing toni’s hers before they slip them on and head down the stairs.

 

the second they’re on toni’s bike, cheryl grips her waist and rests her chin on toni’s shoulder, and when they take off, she closes her eyes and allows herself these few moments to just be _free_ , the gentle wind whipping the hair not covered by the helmet making her smile and sigh in content. 

 

she could ride for goddamn ever on the back of this bike, toni’s body pressed so firmly against her own, her cheek pressed against black leather…

 

they reach the lakeside in no time, toni’s bike rumbling to a stop just by the bonfire, and cheryl sees sweet pea and fangs by the fire, both of them grinning widely when they see toni’s bike pull up as they stand up slowly. cheryl swings a leg off the bike as soon as toni turns the ignition off, and she takes her helmet off and rests it on the back of the bike before she makes her way over to sweet pea and fangs.

 

“where’s jughead?” she asks, smiling and leaning up to press a kiss to fangs’s cheek as he touches the small of her back with a shrug, happily accepting her kiss.

 

“at his trailer i think. f.p and thomas are in there with him.” cheryl sighs and looks to toni, and she hesitates before she nods to the boys as well.

 

she knows jughead doesn't like them being a part of their private serpent meetings, but these boys are like brothers to her...she wants them to be a part of this. it's something jughead fails to understand. there wasn't a leadership with the serpents.

 

it's a family.

 

“come with me?” she asks firmly, and sweet pea and fangs both nod without hesitation as sweet pea throws an arm around toni’s neck and ruffles her hair with a grin.

 

“sure thing, red. let’s go.” cheryl smiles fondly, the four of them making their way toward the jones’s trailer until she’s knocking on the door gently. 

 

“come in!” jughead yells out, and cheryl pushes the door open slowly, peeking inside to see jughead pacing back and forth by the coffee table while f.p leans against the wall and thomas sits by the couch, the serpent elder smiling when he sees cheryl and toni walk through.

 

“little bird…little bird’s girlfriend.” thomas teases, and cheryl cocks an eyebrow at him with a smirk before she gasps mockingly.

 

“is that all i am to you, thomas!?” she exclaims, causing toni to chuckle beside her as thomas laughs loudly. jughead rolls his eyes, but smiles all the same while f.p shakes his head with an amused smile.

 

“hey, at least you got a greeting, red, he didn’t even notice us.” fangs grumbles, and thomas raises a finger at them with a stern look.

 

“that’s because you boys are troublemakers.” he says firmly. fangs’s mouth drops open in shock, but sweet pea simply shrugs with a grin, completely and utterly owning up to it.

 

“eh, he’s not wrong.” he says simply. jughead laughs quietly, but as soon as his eyes land on cheryl, it fades, a sigh quickly escaping him as he takes off his beanie and runs his fingers through his hair.

 

“so…we’ve got some things to discuss.” he says with a firm nod. cheryl grips toni’s hand and gives it a squeeze before she squares her shoulders and nods back.

 

“what’s happened?” she asks, determined to do her job properly and help however she can. f.p pushes himself off the wall with a deep sigh before he purses his lips.

 

“that place on the northside we were trying to close in on to make the new trailer park? they just rejected our offer. told us they were too apprehensive, didn’t want any trouble being caused…we’ve officially run out of options on where to go.” f.p says grimly. 

 

cheryl closes her eyes, her heart sinking as she exhales through her nose, her heart pounding against her chest as anxiety quickly takes over.

 

shit.

 

they can’t stay at the lakeside, it wasn’t a residential area, and cheryl’s positive that sheriff minetta will eventually order them to evacuate, that the fact that the lakeside is uktena land won’t help keep them here much longer.

 

but there’s only so many trailer parks in riverdale, and every single one has rejected them…what the fuck are they supposed to do? if they don't do something soon, the serpents were going to be out of a place to stay, essentially homeless with nowhere to put their trailers.

 

_come on, cheryl...think. there has to be a solution..._

 

before she can even begin to start, they’re interrupted by loud knocking at the door before it bursts open, and cheryl jumps in surprise as darla, one of the female serpents a few years older than them, looks at them all with wide eyes, panting wildly as she swallows thickly and shakes her head, brown curls whipping wildly from the action.

 

“f.p! there’s…the ghoulies, they-.”

 

“whoa, whoa! take a second, darla, catch your breath!” f.p makes his way over to her, concern etched all over his face as he grips her shoulder. she places her hands on her knees and gasps for air for a few moments before she looks up at him anxiously. 

 

“what happened?” f.p asks firmly. cheryl's heart races as darla whimpers and looks to jughead before she starts talking.

 

“ghoulies! making their way to the northside! we just saw the whole lot of them on bikes and in cars!” she pants out. 

 

cheryl’s heart utterly drops.

 

_shit._

 

“shit.” toni says simply, echoing her thoughts as everyone exchanges glances of worry.

 

what were the ghoulies doing on the goddamn northside?

 

“did you see where they were heading?” f.p demands, and darla licks her lips and shakes her head.

 

“they just went over the bridge, i was gonna send some serpents after them, but-.”

 

“no, don’t do that! if they see any serpents giving chase, they won’t hesitate to attack!” jughead hisses, looking to toni anxiously, and cheryl tightens her grip on toni's hand, licking her lips before she looks up at f.p. the former serpent king seems to be thinking on the same wavelength as her, because he purses his lips and looks to jughead.

 

“we need to know what they’re doing on the northside. if this is an attack being planned…” he says, looking to jughead, and cheryl’s mind seems to work into overdrive as she tries her best to come up with a solution.

 

f.p's right, they need to know what the ghoulies are doing-

 

“if they’re attacking, what’s the first place they’ll hit?” toni asks suddenly, looking to jughead, whose eyes are wide as he licks his lips and shakes his head.

 

“there’s a number of places, toni. the jubilee, pop’s, the mayor’s office-.”

 

“then we post serpents to stand watch all over the northside, keep an eye on things and stay on the alert for anything they see that’s suspicious.” cheryl says immediately, watching as jughead processes her words before he looks to his father. f.p frowns, and thomas, who stands up with difficulty, toni rushing to his side to help him, looks to them all with a frown of his own.

 

“why are they attacking now? did something happen?” he asks in confusion.

 

the others frown, all deep in thought, and cheryl has no idea, no clue on why the ghoulies would suddenly be rushing toward the northside when they haven’t stepped a single foot there since the night they took over the southside and all but evicted the serpents from it-

 

“hiram.” toni murmurs so low, cheryl’s the only one who catches it.

 

_shit. oh god, of **course...**_

 

toni looks up at her with wide eyes before she licks her lips and swallows thickly.

 

“we saw him, baby. remember? at archie’s trial, when the judge let him go, and he looked _pissed._ ” she says quickly, panic beginning to shine in her eyes, and cheryl feels her own anxiety begin to rise as she looks to jughead in shock.

 

“she’s right. the second they found archie innocent, hiram was on his phone, and he looked like he was ready to kill someone, jughead. if he’s got the ghoulies under his thumb…” 

 

jughead’s eyes widen in horror before he replies, mr. detective piecing the clues together at the same time that cheryl does.

 

“whatever he’s got planned-.”

 

“archie’s a part of it." she breathes.

 

oh god...oh god, archie, what if the ghoulies were gunning for right this goddamn moment? 

 

"we have to keep him safe.” cheryl chokes out, teeth gnawing on her bottom lip as jughead immediately steps into leader mode and looks at his father.

 

“we need the serpents out in full force. cheryl's right, we need to find out what they want with the northside. i want the ghoulies in our sights at all times. we need updates on anything and everything they’re doing.” he demands. f.p nods at the same time cheryl does, the former serpent king and the red head exchanging a glance before cheryl looks to toni.

 

“we’ll go to archie’s, keep him and fred safe. if hiram’s planning some kind of attack on him, he’ll stop at nothing.” she says firmly, her heart racing at the very idea of archie's life being in danger right now.

 

it wasn't fair. he was supposed to be celebrating, not worrying about his own life being on the goddamn line after it's been in jeopardy for over a month and a half now... 

 

jughead nods as he shoves his beanie back onto his head and grabs his serpent jacket.

 

“i’ll come with you. darla, gather every serpent you can at the bonfire, we’ll need to sort people into groups. i want some serpents to stay behind here, just in case we’re wrong and this is a distraction to get us away from the lakeside so they can attack us when we’re vulnerable.” cheryl blinks in surprise, silently cursing herself from not thinking of that sooner, and darla nods and rushes back out of the trailer.

 

jughead's right, this whole thing could be a distraction...dammit.

 

cheryl grips toni’s hand in her own, squeezing it to draw strength because she feels nothing but helpless right now, and toni squeezes her hand back, nothing but concern shining in her eyes, and for some reason, it makes cheryl feel braver.

 

she doesn't like seeing that look in toni's eyes. and she'll do everything in her power to erase it. 

 

“toni and i will go to archie’s, i’ll send him a message now. we’ll meet you there?” she says, and to her surprise, jughead doesn’t argue, nods once before he looks to his father and slips his serpent jacket on before he makes his way outside.

 

cheryl lets out a shaky breath before she squeezes toni's hand once more.

 

_now is not the time for fear, cheryl. now is the time for courage, for bravery..._

 

“come on, t.t. let’s go.” 

 

she tugs on toni's hand a little as she makes her way to the door to follow jughead and f.p out, but toni doesn’t move, and cheryl looks back at her with confusion, sees her look toward her grandfather anxiously.

 

she doesn't want to leave him behind. what if jughead's right? what if the ghoulies come here and thomas gets hurt...

 

thomas is shaking his head before cheryl can even make the suggestion of him going to thistlehouse to stay safe as he grips toni's shoulder tightly. 

 

“i’ll be fine, little bird. i’ll be safe here.” he says simply with a smile, and cheryl’s completely surprised when fangs steps forward and nods at toni once, looking to her grandfather with a fond smile.

 

“sweets and i will stay here with the group to protect the lakeside, keep an eye on him for you.” he says firmly. sweet pea cracks his knuckles and clenches his jaw as toni licks her lips and looks at them fondly, and even cheryl herself is surprised by it.

 

sweet pea loved knocking ghoulie heads to the ground, and fangs wasn't fond of them either, but they were willing to stay behind to keep toni's grandather safe?

 

_family...that's what this is._

 

what a stark contrast to her upbringing with the blossoms...

 

“are you sure? i-.” toni starts, but fangs stops her with a shake of his head.

 

“hey, thomas is family to us, too. besides, we gotta prove to him we aren’t just troublemakers.” fangs says with a grin, and the old man rolls his eyes before he chuckles, saying nothing more as toni sighs deeply, a look of reluctance on her face.

 

cheryl ponders telling toni simply to stay, to keep an eye on her grandfather, but she knows if she makes the suggestion, toni will rip her apart, and her girlfriend reaches out and grips her hand before she can say anything anyway, squeezing it before she smiles and looks to cheryl with a raised eyebrow.

 

“we should probably stop at thistlehouse before we get to archie’s.” she murmurs. cheryl looks at her in surprise.

 

“what? why?” 

 

toni simply smirks widely.

 

“you’re gonna need your bow and arrows.”

 

\----------------

 

to say fred andrews is livid would be an understatement.

 

cheryl had sent a message to archie the second they left the jones’s trailer, telling him to get home and to make sure his father was home as well, and that she’d explain when he got to his place. toni had driven them to thistlehouse, where they had told lisa to stay inside with nana rose and lock all the doors just in case something bad was on the horizon.

 

jughead sent them a message while they were on their way to archie's house telling them that there’s been no ghoulie sightings so far by any of the serpents on watch, but that as soon as he hears something he’ll let them know.

 

toni had relaxed a little upon hearing that. it might be nothing, but she’s glad that cheryl and jughead had taken the threat seriously and were taking precautions just in case. 

 

the ghoulies were not to be taken lightly, seeing as they’d almost killed her a little over a month ago…

 

she takes a shuddering breath in as she watches fred andrews pace up and down the living room of the andrews’s home, archie leaning against the wall with a frown of concern on his face as toni squeezes cheryl’s hand that she’s holding, watching as the red head brushes her fingers up and down the feathered trails of her arrows with her free hand.

 

“cheryl, you’re absolutely _sure_ about this-.”

 

“mr. andrews, the serpents usually don’t get worried unless we are sure. darla told us she saw a whole swarm of them heading for the northside, it can’t be anything good, and if hiram is practically controlling them-.”

 

“it can’t be coincidence that they're rolling up to the northside the day after archie was found innocent.” toni finishes her sentence. fred’s frown only grows deeper, and he looks to archie with nothing but worry, the red haired boy sighing before he pushes himself off the wall and grips his father’s shoulder.

 

“dad, i’m gonna be fine. hiram can try every play in the book, i’ve got back up.” he says, smiling fondly at cheryl and toni seated on the couch before him, and toni smiles up at him, because he's damn fucking right.

 

she's going to do everything in her power to make sure not a single hair on archie's head is touched tonight.

 

cheryl runs her fingers through her hair and lets out a shaky sigh.

 

“it might be nothing, but it’s better to be safe than sorry, mr. andrews. jughead will be here soon, i’m sure.” 

 

there’s a soft knock at the door just as cheryl finishes her sentence, and toni immediately tenses up, looking to her girlfriend, who blinks rapidly before she stands and pulls one of the arrows from her quiver out. toni reaches into the pocket of her jacket for her knife, her heart racing quickly, but archie raises a hand with a shake of his head to call them off.

 

“it’s betty. i messaged her five minutes ago letting her know what’s going on.” he murmurs before making his way to the door and pulling the curtain back to peek. he visibly relaxes before he opens the door, and betty cooper walks through, eyes wide as she wraps her arms around archie with a sigh immediately.

 

“arch, are you okay?” she asks softly, pulling away and cradling his face in her hands as her green eyes roam over it anxiously. he simply nods against her before betty’s eyes move to cheryl and toni in the living room to the left of her, wide eyes only growing more concerned when she eyes the bow and quiver at cheryl’s feet.

 

“cheryl? toni? what’s going on?” betty makes her way into the living room as fred runs his fingers through his hair with a frustrated sigh.

 

“ghoulies were spotted heading to the northside, we’re just taking precautions in case hiram’s planning something.” cheryl says firmly. betty’s face almost goes green, her eyes falling on archie before she’s reaching into her pocket for her phone with a shaking hand.

 

“we have to tell ronnie-.”

 

“no, don’t! she’s working at pop’s, i don’t wanna worry her with this, especially if her father’s involved…it could end up being nothing, betty.” archie says, gripping her hand with a shake of his head, and betty sighs shakily, hesitating on whether which best friend she should be helping right now before she looks back to cheryl and toni anxiously.

 

“where’s jug?”

 

“he’s rallying the troops, getting lookouts put all over the northside to keep an eye out for them. he should be here soon.” toni says with a reassuring smile. betty swallows thickly before she nods and looks back to archie with a sad sigh, bottom lip trembling.

 

“god, we’re supposed to be celebrating, this isn't fair-.”

 

“nothing can be celebrated for long, not if hiram has anything to do with it.” archie deadpans, his expression stony. fred scoffs, his face a mixture of worry and anger as he shakes his head in disbelief.

 

“i can’t believe he’s going this far to ruin your life, archie. all because you challenged him? why is he so threatened by a sixteen year old boy, for christ’s sake!” he exclaims angrily, his jaw clenching as archie scratches at his brow with his face scrunched up in worry.

 

toni scoffs as well, because she's been asking herself the same goddamn question for weeks now. hiram was willing to kill her, kill jughead, just to make sure archie was thrown into the slammer...now that it didn't work, god only knows what he has planned for the boy...

 

“he has a lot of pride, he doesn’t like being challenged. but after what he made the ghoulies do to cheryl and toni, to all the serpents…i couldn’t let him keep thinking he could get away with it.” archie growls, looking to both girls on the couch protectively, and god, toni’s heart aches for the boy in front of her, the boy whose only downfall is his courage, his heart of gold…

 

“still, archie…look at all the mess you defending us has created-.” cheryl starts, but archie shakes his head and steps forward, reaching out to grip cheryl’s shoulder and bending down to his knees to look into her eyes.

 

“i don’t care, cheryl. i’d do it again in a heartbeat. you’re my friend, and i care about you, okay? i wouldn’t have broken my hand saving your life if i didn’t.” he says, chuckling deeply as cheryl smiles up at him with the saddest goddamn look in her eyes...

 

_archie saved her life..._

 

“you’re the best of us all, archie andrews.” she whispers, squeezing his hand tightly as fred chuckles.

 

“yeah, my son and his kind heart…knew it was gonna get him in trouble one day.” fred sighs, but the fondness in his smile is unmissable as archie straightens up and ruffles the back of his head just as the sound of a motorbike rumbling outside echoes through the air.

 

“juggie…” betty murmurs, making her way to the window to peek out of the curtain before she’s rushing to the front door to open it. a smile instantly lights her face as toni hears footsteps echo in the porch, and as soon as jughead walks through the door, betty embraces him tightly, the strain on jughead’s face evident even from here.

 

_heavy weighs the crown upon the serpent king's head..._

 

cheryl and toni both stand at the same time as jughead looks up at them over betty’s shoulder with a sigh. 

 

he pulls away before making his way over to them, and he grips archie’s shoulder and gives it a sympathetic squeeze before giving fred a small smile and looking to cheryl and toni anxiously.

 

“heard anything?”

 

“no. your end?” cheryl asks. jughead sets his helmet down on the arm of the chair before running his fingers through his hair with a deep sigh.

 

“still no sign of the ghoulies anywhere on the northside. i’ve got two posted at the pembrooke too, to keep an eye on hiram. where’s veronica?” he asks archie with concern.

 

“she’s at pop’s working. i don’t want to worry her with this right now, especially if it ends up being nothing.” he says firmly. jughead nods once in affirmation, pursing his lips before he looks to betty with a soft smile. he reaches up, gripping the back of her neck affectionately before he turns to fred.

 

“i’m sorry about this, mr. andrews. we just wanna make sure archie’s safe.” fred gives him a small smile before he nods slowly.

 

“i appreciate the help in protecting my son, jughead. but if hiram really is planning something, then we need to tell the authorities-.”

 

“sheriff minetta is under hiram’s thumb as well, mr. andrews. getting the police involved won’t solve anything.” toni deadpans. fred looks to her in surprise, blinking rapidly as he processes this information before he lets out a sigh of frustration and shakes his head.

 

“then we take it to someone higher than the sheriff! he can’t just be allowed to get away with this!” he hisses. archie sighs and shakes his head.

 

“if we don’t have proof, there’s not much we can do, dad. i'm surprised hiram didn't pay off the jury to make sure i was found guilty, but he's a smart man, he knows how to play the chessboard until he's the last piece standing. as much as i wish we could take hiram down, the guy has his hands in everyone’s pockets, and he does it in a way that doesn't leave a trace. i wouldn’t be surprised if he controls people outside of riverdale as well.” he says in a low voice, jaw tight with anger.

 

fred hesitates for a very long time, seemingly thinking of something before he reaches out and grips archie’s shoulder.

 

“then maybe we should get you out of town, archie. get you out of riverdale altogether, somewhere where hiram can’t reach you.” he says softly.

 

toni's surprised by this sudden statement, but she finds herself kind of supporting it within seconds. if archie was out of riverdale, hiram couldn't reach him...

 

she licks her lips, looking to cheryl, who simply stares at archie as betty and jughead look to the red haired boy as well.

 

archie’s eyes widen as he take in his father's words, and he clenches his jaw before he lets out a deep breath and shakes his head.

 

“i can’t leave ronnie, dad. you know she’s gonna fight hiram tooth and nail as soon as she finds out about this, and i won’t let her do that on her own.” he says firmly.

 

god, the love archie andrews has for veronica lodge...toni knows if it was her and cheryl in this situation, she'd do the same goddamn thing, and in a way, they are in a similar situation. penelope blossom seems hellbent on making sure toni is somehow erased from cheryl's life, whether by breaking them up or just straight up having the pink haired serpent killed, but toni still refuses to leave cheryl's side, and she's quite sure she'll refuse to for as long as she lives.

 

she finds herself smiling at archie knowingly as fred sighs in defeat, and he’s about to open his mouth to say something-

 

“HELLOOOOO?! ANYONE HOME AT LA CASA ANDREWS?!”

 

toni’s heart _stops._

 

the voice is playful, teasing, wickedly obnoxious, but toni would know it from anywhere.

 

she’s heard it in her dreams for over a month now, scratching under her skin and plaguing her brain, that voice followed by a sharp pain in her side, over and over and over again...

 

_“sorry smurfette. it’s business, not personal.”_

 

the voice is coming from the front of the house, the sound of loud cackling also echoing out, and toni immediately finds herself reaching out for cheryl’s hand, grasping it tightly as she swallows the lump that’s quickly building in her throat.

 

it's her. it's her, toni's not ready to face that vile woman again, she _can't-_

 

toni feels hard pressure around her hand, and when she looks up, she sees only one thing shining in cheryl blossom’s eyes.

 

complete and utter _rage._

 

“peabody.” she spits out, looking to jughead with nothing but murder on her face, and jughead's eyes widen before he's clenching his jaw as he grabs archie and pushes him further into the living room, trying to get him out of sight of the window, as if the ghoulies might have an assassin with a rifle watching from the rooftops, and honestly, if hiram lodge is controlling them, toni wouldn't be surprised it that's true.

 

“you and your dad stay here, don’t move. betty, stay with them.”

 

“jug-.”

 

“please, betty! you all know what the ghoulies are capable of, just stay here!” he whispers under his breath, looking to cheryl and toni and giving them a simple nod before he's pressing a kiss to betty's temple. cheryl grabs her bow and knocks an arrow easily into the string as fred grabs archie and betty and immediately protects them both with his body, looking to jughead with concern as the serpent king pulls a pocket knife out of his pocket.

 

“AWW, COME ON JONES, I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE! YOUR BIKE IS CHILLING OUT IN THE DRIVEWAY, COME OUT AND PLAY! I’M BORED!” 

 

god, the sound of her voice…

 

toni’s frozen, unable to move or think or feel, all she knows is the memory of the pain ripping through her side, the thoughts that ran through her mind as she fell to the ground with her own blood pooling on the floor, dripping from her body easily like tipping a water bottle upside and squeezing it harshly-

 

cheryl notices straight away, her fingers pinching the elbow of toni’s serpent jacket to force the girl to look at her.

 

“toni? she’s not gonna hurt you again, babe, i promise, okay?” cheryl places her bow and arrow on the chair, gripping toni’s face between her hands and brushing her thumbs over toni’s cheekbones softly, and toni forces herself to look into cheryl’s eyes, getting lost in the brown eyes filled with nothing but love and concern.

 

_she can't hurt me...she can't hurt me again, you've gotta stay in control, toni..._

 

jughead suddenly sighs before he’s stepping into place beside cheryl, and toni knows he's thinking about the last time they came face to face with penny peabody, is thinking about how he held toni's limp body in his arms as he screamed for her to stay awake, to keep talking until an ambulance arrived...

 

“toni, stay with archie-.”

 

toni's speaking over the top of him before he even finishes his sentence.

 

“no! no way, jones, i’m a goddamn southside serpent, getting stabbed doesn’t change that!” toni hisses out, eyes still not moving from cheryl’s as she closes them and takes a deep breath in.

 

she's not going to fucking cower and give that woman the satisfaction of knowing she's made toni's life a living hell for the last few weeks, submitting her to nothing but pain and torture, both physical and emotional...

 

she's going to step out onto that fucking front porch and look penny peabody in the eyes, standing tall and showing her that she didn't win this round. 

 

toni's still fucking alive.

 

she sees golden eyes, and a rush of bravery hits her as she bares her teeth and nods before opening her eyes once more.

 

“let’s do this.” she says firmly. cheryl’s bottom lip trembles before she leans forward and presses a kiss to toni’s forehead, toni's eyes closing at the warmth that floods her from this simple act alone, and she lets out a shaky breath as cheryl lets go of her and picks up her bow and arrow once more. she looks to jughead, giving him a firm nod, and toni grabs her own pocket knife from her jacket with trembling fingers before jughead makes his way to the front door.

 

he stops with his hand on the doorknob, and he looks to cheryl and toni, their hands interlaced tightly as they give him a courageous nod.

 

they’re goddamn southside serpents. they don’t cower in the face of danger. they fight together, and if they die, they die together, too.

 

_in unity, there is strength._

 

jughead pulls the door open.

 

and they’re greeted by a horde of ghoulies stretched out over the driveway of the andrews’s home.


	17. this isn't goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooooooh boy...so when you're done reading this chapter, just know that the next one is gonna be a big one, okay? okay.
> 
> you can let me know what you think in the comments or you can follow me at @endofdaysforme on twitter to get updates on when i'm posting and all that jazz! toodles for now!

the sound of a bowstring being pulled taut echoes slightly in cheryl’s ear, the feather tickling the corner of her mouth as she aims the arrow straight for penny peabody’s heart.

 

nothing but rage is pounding through her, her mind filled with only the thought of toni crawling on the floor with blood pouring from the wound in her side that the woman before her caused…

 

it's a rage unlike any she's ever felt, and it’s taking every ounce of self-control within her not to let this arrow fly loose.

 

cheryl blossom is not very well known for her self-control.

 

but still, she takes a few deep breaths in and forces herself not to let go. _not yet._

 

the swarm of ghoulies behind penny peabody all look up at her threateningly, and cheryl sees a familiar face in none other than malachai, her anger only growing stronger at the sight of the man who groped her girlfriend and held her back while jacob topaz choked the life out of _her_ toni-

 

_control, cheryl. not yet._

 

her hands shake pulling the bow taut, her lips pursed as she throws a sideways glance at jughead, who gives her a small shake of his head to make her stand down before he turns to face penny peabody once more.

 

“what are you doing here, penny?” he demands, fingers tightening around his pocket knife, and cheryl refuses to look at toni right now, for fear that if she does, she’ll surely let this arrow fly loose by accident if she sees the look on her face.

 

she can’t afford to lose focus.

 

penny laughs and goes to step forward, but cheryl pulls the bow impossibly tighter with a hiss, raising it just an inch higher, and penny clenches her jaw and narrows her eyes at cheryl cautiously before she stays put with a chuckle of disbelief.

 

“come on now, red arrow, i just wanna talk! is little old archie andrews home?” she teases, smiling widely and trying to peek through the curtains of the windows on the side of the house for a hint of red hair. cheryl clenches her jaw and grips the tail of the arrow tighter when toni’s voice rings out in the twilight sky around them, the sun just beginning to set over the horizon.

 

“even if he was, you’re not getting near him!” toni growls angrily, but god, cheryl can hear the shake in her voice, and it terrifies her.

 

she wants nothing more than to drop this bow and take her lover into her arms, but she needs to stay strong like toni is right now. the strength her girlfriend is showing…cheryl refuses to show weakness. if toni can do this, so can she. this is serpent business, and she’s the goddamn second in command. 

 

she doesn’t cower in the face of danger.

 

penny looks at toni with wide eyes before she’s grinning wickedly and pointing a finger at her playfully, bouncing it up and down almost like she’s chastising the pink haired serpent. 

 

“didn’t i kill you?” she sing songs, cackling as she goes to step forward again-

 

“take another step and this arrow is going straight through your eye, you filthy hag!” cheryl snaps, taking a step forward herself and raising the bow higher-

 

“cheryl!” jughead swings an arm in front of cheryl just beneath the bow to stop her, eyes filled with panic as he shakes his head at her before he glares back at penny peabody with bared teeth.

 

“look, i don’t know what you want archie for, but you’re not getting him! so take your ghoulies and go, penny!” jughead says firmly, his voice clear and concise, the voice of a leader as penny rolls her eyes and places her hand on her hip with a sarcastic raised eyebrow.

 

“now why would i go and do anything that you tell me to do, serpent king? i’m not a serpent anymore, which means i don’t _need_ to obey your orders.” she says, a hint of anger in her tone as she scoffs and looks to malachai. 

 

the boy cracks his knuckles, yellow teeth exposed in a wicked grin.

 

“we’re here for business, jughead. so how about you step aside before we finish what we started all those weeks ago?” he sneers, his eyes moving over to toni before he puckers his lips and makes a loud kissing sound at her, winking his eye as if he’s somehow being charming.

 

jughead inhales sharply as cheryl growls under her breath, and god, she wants to let this arrow go so badly, but jughead gives her another simple shake of his head before he to the side at toni.

 

and cheryl can’t help herself.

 

she glances at the pink haired serpent out of the corner of her eye to find toni baring her teeth and looking at malachai as if she’s about ready to murder him, her whole body trembling with anger and hot tears beginning to build in her eyes like they always do when she’s angry…

 

cheryl has half a mind to let her run forward and plunge that knife she’s holding into malachai’s eyesocket, but they’re outnumbered, at least ten to three…toni will only end up getting injured once again, and cheryl absolutely _refuses_ to let that happen.

 

“toni.” cheryl says her name, simply and concisely, her voice echoing out despite how quietly she says it, and toni turns to look at her with a wince, eyes softening at the sight of the red head before she’s clenching her jaw and relaxing just a little, falling into step and flanking jughead’s right side as she grips her pocket knife tighter with a trembling fist. 

 

penny watches the entire interaction with a wicked glint in her eyes, and she smirks as she looks between cheryl and toni repeatedly, eyes flicking back and forth with amusement.

 

“got your bitch on a leash today, huh, strawberry shortcake?” penny says with a loud laugh, inciting laughter from the ghoulies behind her. 

 

the arrow inches forward from the string just a _tad-_

 

“hey!” cheryl jumps slightly at the sound of a voice to her left hand side, but keeps the bow pulled taut as she throws a quick glance in the direction the voice is coming from to see alice cooper standing in her own lawn with an enraged look in her eyes, and to her utter astonishment, the woman begins making her way toward them, stepping over the lawn into the andrews’s property-

 

there’s a flash of silver in her hands, and cheryl’s heart _drops._

 

“what the hell do you think you’re doing on private property?!” alice barks, the gun in her hand slightly raises as she steps over the driveway and makes her way to the andrews’s porch, climbing up the steps and moving up the side of it before she comes to stand right beside cheryl, much to her surprise. 

 

penny eyes the gun in alice’s hands somewhat apprehensively, blinking rapidly in shock, and cheryl’s heart is thundering in her ears as alice goddamn cooper raises the gun and points it at the ghoulies threateningly without so much as a quiver from her hands.

 

penny scoffs and looks to malachai before she clenches her jaw and bares her teeth at the woman before her.

 

“this has nothing to do with you, you’re not a serpent anymore!” penny growls, glaring at alice with nothing but hatred that makes cheryl wonder what history exists between the two women on opposites sides of the property they’re all standing on, and alice scoffs and simply gives her a lopsided, cocky grin.

 

“i might not be a serpent anymore, but that doesn’t mean i lost everything i learned from them, _peabody._ now i suggest you take these rats of yours and scatter, before i call the sheriff!” alice hisses, the protective mama bear in her coming out as, to cheryl’s complete and utter shock, she takes a step slightly closer to cheryl, as if protecting the girl from the view of the murderous, rabid creatures before them.

 

_that’s new…_

 

alice cooper has never exactly shown any love for the blossom family, especially considering everything that had happened between jason and polly, so why was she suddenly stepping in front of cheryl to protect her from harm?

 

penny cackles almost derisively, pulling cheryl out of her confused thoughts, her eyes wide and glinting with excitement as she nods toward the house with a harrowing grin.

 

“got your little girl in there, huh, alice? is that why you came running over here packing heat?” she teases, a sadistic little giggle escaping her as she cranes her head in an attempt to look into the house once more. alice clenches her jaw and tightens her grip on the gun in her hands, and jughead’s expression turns _murderous_ as he snaps his head back to glare at penny.

 

“enough! take your men and go, penny, before this turns into something you don’t want it to! we’re not the only serpents around!” jughead growls, the lie not sounding like one at all in his confident tone, but despite his bravado, penny simply shrugs as if the words change nothing, and perhaps they don’t for the ghoulies so hellbent and thirsty for bloodshed…

 

penny shoves her hands into her pocket and looks around at the other ghoulies with a shrug, as if asking them for their opinion on whether or not they really give a fuck if there’s any other serpents around, which cheryl is quite sure the answer to is no.

 

the more serpents killed to these people, the better.

 

“i don’t know about these guys, but i think what you don’t want it to turn into, is _exactly_ what i want it to turn into, _juggie._ ” she says, tongue snaking out to brush over her top teeth with a sadistic grin as the other ghoulies howl and cackle in approval, the ones in their cars slamming their palms down onto the metal threateningly as they do.

 

_shit, shit, what do we do-_

 

this isn’t good. this isn’t good at all, cheryl has no idea how they’re supposed to get out of this one. even the gun in alice’s hand isn’t reassuring her that they’ll escape this alive-

 

“you don’t want to pick a fight right now, penny! not with us! not after what you did to toni! she’s thirsting for blood, and trust me, she’s not the only one!” jughead hisses, and cheryl grips her bow tighter for emphasis, baring her teeth and looking at penny with nothing but hatred, trying to show that vile woman that she has no goddamn problem with drawing blood from her disgusting body.

 

god, she wants to let this arrow go, wants it to go straight through her goddamn heart, wants to watch the blood pour from her chest like it no doubt poured from toni’s-

 

“ah, come on, jones, i told pinky over here! it was business, not personal! just like this is! and to be honest with you, _juggie…_ ” his name escapes her in a hiss once again, penny’s playful grin fading as it’s quickly replaced with anger, her teeth bared as she crosses her arms over her chest and nods at him. 

 

“i don’t _like_ people getting in the way of my business! so how about you step aside, before your southside smurfette gets a matching scar on her other side?” penny hisses, her eyes flashing over to toni with a wicked laugh, who growls under her breath and takes a step forward with that knife in her hand flashing under the setting sun-

 

“toni, don’t!” jughead’s arm flies out to wrap around toni’s body, to push her back as she tries to push him off almost immediately, and cheryl feels the panic rise in her throat at penny’s threat as alice tightens her grip on her gun beside her, finger hovering over the trigger.

 

“let me go!” toni screams, and god, cheryl’s heart is in her goddamn throat as penny laughs loudly and looks to malachai with a nod. the boy grins wickedly before he cracks his knuckles and takes a single step closer to them-

 

a slight shift to the left, and cheryl lets the arrow fly without hesitation. 

 

it whistles loudly as it shoots through the air before sinking straight into malachai’s shoulder, the boy stumbling back with a loud roar of pain and wide eyes as he clutches his shoulder, and penny stumbles back in shock, but cheryl’s already gripping another arrow from her quiver-

 

“CHERYL!” jughead roars, his face filled with rage as he looks to the red head, who simply ignores him and nocks the arrow into the string before pulling it taut once more, aiming it straight for malachai, ready to sink another arrow straight throw his heart as penny whips around to glare at cheryl with a growl-

 

“KILL THEM!” penny screams, and the ghoulies immediately begin rushing forward-

 

“cheryl, aim your next arrow right between penny’s eyes!” jughead shouts, and cheryl obeys, easily aiming straight for penny’s forehead despite how hard she’s trembling as the woman comes to an abrupt stop and holds her hand up to signal the other ghoulies to follow suite. they all come stumbling to a halt, malachai still whimpering in pain and gripping his shoulder as penny clenches her jaw tightly.

 

“if you or your ghoulies take one more step, she’s gonna release that arrow! cheryl doesn’t miss!” jughead yells out, and cheryl smirks with her mouth against the tail of the arrow, her heart thundering in her goddamn ears, but the adrenaline running through her body making her head spin.

 

she just shot someone, holy shit-

 

“STOP!” penny growls when the ghoulies go to move again in their anger, glancing back at malachai as he bares his teeth and glares up at cheryl with murder shining in his tear filled eyes.

 

the sight should probably scare her. it just makes her feel braver.

 

_let him try to get close again, i’ll aim this arrow right between his legs in a heartbeat-_

 

“you’re gonna regret that, serpent king! you can’t protect that carrot top forever!” penny hisses, eyes moving over the four people in front of her apprehensively, perhaps in anger over how she’s underestimated them, all with weapons in their hands, two of them far more deadly from a distance than knives…

 

“watch me!” jughead says simply, the look in his eyes more determined than ever to keep his best friend safe, and cheryl feels the same determination flood through her as she keeps her bow pointed straight between penny’s eyes, the woman flicking them toward cheryl with a lick of her lips.

 

there’s actual _fear_ in her eyes.

 

cheryl’s never been prouder. 

 

penny seems to be weighing her options, shifting from one foot to the other before her eyes widen and she grins wickedly. she chuckles before she steps back, her eyes never leaving cheryl’s as she raises her hand and waves the ghoulies back.

 

“come on, boys! we’ve got bigger fish to fry!” she calls out with a wicked grin. cheryl’s body doesn’t relax for a single second, not even as penny finally breaks eye contact with her and makes her way toward one of the cars parked in the street, the ghoulies inside it glaring up at the serpents angrily, and penny jumps inside the passenger seat and taps her hand on the side of the car, whistling loudly as all the ghoulies retreat slowly.

 

cheryl watches malachai jump into the back of the car penny’s in, sweat dripping from his forehead and blood staining his hand that’s clutching his shoulder as he spits on the ground in cheryl’s direction, and with a loud screech of tires and the rumble of motorcycles, the ghoulies disappear, tearing down the road loudly and leaving the serpents and archie far behind. 

 

it isn’t until they round the corner that cheryl finally allows herself to relax, her stiff arms shaking as they drop the bow and arrow to her side, and god, she feels like she can’t breathe from how hard her heart is pounding against her chest-

 

did that just happen? did she seriously shoot someone? 

 

_focus, cheryl, the ghoulies are roaming around the northside right now, this isn’t good-_

 

cheryl’s pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of a loud sigh beside her, and she turns to see alice lowering the gun to her side as she looks at jughead with a stern look and a raised eyebrow.

 

“what the hell is going on?!” she demands angrily. jughead sighs and closes his pocket knife before shoving it back into his jacket pocket, and he begins explaining everything to alice, but all cheryl can focus on-

 

“toni…” cheryl immediately hooks the bow over her shoulder and places the arrow back into the quiver before she steps around jughead and reaches out to grab her girlfriend, pulling her into arms with a shaky sigh and hugging her close as toni wraps her arms around her waist and buries her face into the crook of cheryl’s neck with a soft whimper. they stay wrapped in each other’s embrace for a minute, hearts beating erratically in their chests before cheryl squeezes the back of her neck gently.

 

“are you okay, t.t.?” cheryl breathes, pulling back and taking toni’s face into her hands gently, soft thumbs brushing over her flushed cheekbones. toni purses her lips and nods, her eyes shining with something cheryl can’t put her finger on, and cheryl sighs and presses a kiss to her forehead as tenderly as she can, toni’s eyes closing at her touch as her fingers grip the lapels of cheryl’s serpent jacket tightly.

 

she wants so badly to just go home, to scoop toni up and get them both the hell out of here, out of riverdale altogether, but they have a duty, not just as serpents, but as archie's _friends._ whatever hiram has planned for the boy, toni and cheryl can't abandon him now...

 

but god, cheryl _hates_ this idea of toni being in danger, and penny had been looking at her with nothing but malice, as if she's been dreaming about finishing the job she started all those weeks ago when she sunk that blade into toni's side...

 

cheryl stays with her lips pressed to toni’s skin for as long as possible, not wanting to be apart from her for a single moment before alice’s voice rings out loudly, causing both girls to jump slightly in surprise before they turn to face her.

 

“well, whatever the hell is going on, i don’t want betty playing any part in it, jughead! where the hell is your father?!” alice demands, the gun in her hand raising slightly and causing jughead to wince before he’s sighing.

 

“he’s with the other serpents at the lakeside, keeping an eye out for any ghoulies. don’t worry, miss cooper, i’ll keep betty safe-.”

 

“no! _i’ll_ keep betty safe! you, no doubt, will be running around like a chicken without a goddamn head the whole night! why do the ghoulies want archie, anyway?” alice exclaims, looking into the andrews’s house with a frown, and cheryl licks her lips with her arms still wrapped around toni protectively.

 

“they’re working for hiram lodge. he has the ghoulies and sheriff minetta under his thumb. i don’t know what hiram’s endgame is, but this just confirms that he’s after archie, he’s sent the ghoulies straight to his doorstep.” cheryl murmurs, glancing at jughead anxiously, and the serpent king clenches his jaw as alice’s frown only deepens. 

 

“yeah…” jughead sighs and runs his fingers through his hair before he exchanges a glance with alice and moves toward the front door, pushing it open and stepping inside slowly as alice scoffs in disbelief before looking to cheryl with a raised eyebrow and a small nod.

 

“are you alright?” she asks sternly. 

 

cheryl doesn’t bother attempting to hide her surprise, eyes wide with shock before she blinks rapidly.

 

alice notices her reaction immediately, and she rolls her eyes with a sigh before she simply shrugs once.

 

“you’re juniper and dagwood’s aunt, i wasn’t about to let you get hurt.” she mumbles simply in explanation.

 

_oh…well then…that makes more sense._

 

cheryl finds herself smiling despite the fear and adrenaline pounding through her body right now over everything that’s just happened, and alice gives her a small smile back before she’s making her way into the andrews’s home with a deep and tired sigh.

 

“who would’ve thought alice cooper would be protecting a blossom?” toni murmurs with a light chuckle, and cheryl simply hums in response before she runs her fingers through pink hair and rests her lips against toni’s hairline.

 

oh, how she wishes they could just go back home to thistlehouse, curl up under the blankets, away from gangs out for their blood and friends who needed protecting…

 

_archie needs you._

 

“come on, t.t…” cheryl whispers against her skin, causing the pink haired girl to sigh before she’s detaching herself reluctantly from cheryl’s hold and gripping her hand. cheryl glances over her shoulder purely on instinct, looking for another ghoulies as toni pulls her inside the house slowly. 

 

as soon they step inside, they move to the living room, where archie, fred, betty, jughead and alice are still standing at the far end of the room clear from the windows, all of them looking nothing but worried and terrified as jughead looks up at their approach before he pulls his phone out of his pocket with a sigh.

 

“i’m gonna get some serpents to come by, keep you guys safe-.”

 

“keep the serpents where they are, jughead. fred and i can protect our children better than any of your crew can.” alice says, not unkindly, but definitely in reprimand for even thinking such a thing, and betty rolls her eyes and looks down at the gun in her mother’s hands with anger.

 

“mom, you promised me you got rid of that-.”

 

“and then your father turned out to be a serial killer, elizabeth! forgive me for wanting a little extra protection for my children!” alice snaps, sighing loudly and looking to fred anxiously, who grips archie’s shoulder and looks to jughead with pursed lips and a furrowed brow.

 

“alice is right, the best thing for archie right now is for him to stay safe with people he knows and trusts.” he says firmly, and jughead opens his mouth to protest, but cheryl knows what’s going on in the mind of fred andrews, and frankly, she agrees.

 

sometimes, the serpents weren’t to be trusted.

 

“a dozen or so serpents defected less than four months ago, jughead. he’s right, archie needs to stay with people we can trust.” cheryl says firmly. she by no doubts believes that any of their current serpents would betray them, but f.p thought the same thing about the crew they had before the ghoulies had taken over the southside and they had all dropped their jackets without a second glance…

 

“it’s better to be safe than sorry.” cheryl concludes airily, gripping toni’s hand tightly in her own, and jughead frowns, processing everything they’re all saying and perhaps weighing out his options before he finally sighs loudly and looks to his best friend with worry. 

 

“no matter what you hear, archie, you stay here in this house with your mother and the coopers, okay?” he demands, and cheryl finds it hilarious that jughead’s barking orders at archie, but the truth is, there’s nothing funny about the situation archie is in.

 

hiram sent an entire gang after him, or at least a portion of a gang, and if jughead, toni, cheryl and alice hadn’t been here to hold them off, lord only knows what would’ve happened…

 

archie clenches his jaw, but nods once to cheryl’s surprise, because she knows archie probably wants more than anything to stick by their side all night, but with the way fred is gripping his neck so tightly, desperate to keep his only son close…

 

it seems like such a long goddamn time ago that fred andrews was shot and bleeding out on the hospital floor as archie dragged him through the entrance screaming for help. that day changed the andrews’s life forever, it changed a lot of people’s lives forever…

 

_that was the same day you met toni, cheryl…_

 

“it might be safer if we take refuge in your house, they’ve already come knocking here once already.” fred says suddenly to alice, pulling cheryl out of her thoughts as she simply interlaces her fingers with toni’s. alice purses her lips and nods once, turning to look at her daughter, who sighs and looks to her boyfriend before she nods once.

 

“where do we go next? is-.”

 

“oh no, betty, you’re staying with myself, archie and fred where i can keep an eye on you!” alice interrupts immediately with a stern look as she raises her hand to interrupt even though she already has with her words. betty’s eyes widen before she shakes her head furiously in anger with a scoff of disbelief.

 

“what? no! i’m not going to-.”

 

“you’re going to do _exactly_ what your mother tells you to do, elizabeth! do you think i’m just going to let you run off with the serpents when there’s a gang war happening with archie’s head on the chopping block!? you are staying by my side where i can keep you safe and _that’s final!_ ” alice all but screeches, causing cheryl to wince instinctively simply from the sound of a raised voice, toni flinching just the same and for the exact same reason as betty glares at her mother and looks to jughead for back up.

 

but jughead, to everyone’s surprise, purses his lips before he nods at alice solemnly and averts his gaze from betty’s guiltily.

 

“she’s right, betty. that out there was already a close enough call, i’m not putting you in danger. stay where i know you’re safe.” he says hoarsely. cheryl is shocked by this. jughead and betty usually did everything together, even faced danger side by side, and yet here jughead was, telling her to stay behind so she could stay safe?

 

_toni getting stabbed changed a lot of things for everyone, didn't it?_

 

alice huffs triumphantly, a quick smirk spreading on her face, and betty looks almost pale with shock. she opens her mouth for a rebuttal, but cheryl decides to step in.

 

betty cooper is her cousin, after all, and cheryl doesn’t want to see her get hurt.

 

“cousin betty, we don’t know what’s going on out there, it could be incredibly dangerous. i know you want to fight with us, but right now our top priority is keeping _archie_ safe. i promise i’ll keep you updated, we all will.” cheryl says with a reassuring smile, looking to jughead and toni, who both nod slowly in agreement as betty simply clenches her jaw and crosses her arms over her chest with a low grumble.

 

“this is ridiculous.” she huffs. jughead chuckles, looking at her fondly before he turns to archie and fred.

 

“no matter what happens, you stay at the coopers. if something happens, _call me._ ” he says determinedly. fred purses his lips, as if he’s wondering what exactly a sixteen year old boy can do, and cheryl’s honestly thinking the same. they’re all way in over their heads with this…

 

“jug…check in on veronica, please…she’s at pop’s, she probably has no idea of what’s even happening-.” archie starts, but jughead grips his shoulder to interrupt him with a firm nod. 

 

“we’ll swing by, arch. don’t worry.” jughead promises with a smile. archie sighs before he looks to cheryl and toni with a frown suddenly, eyes moving between the both of them before he shakes his head.

 

“i don’t like the idea of you guys putting your lives in danger for me-.”

 

“this isn’t just about you, archie. the ghoulies might be acting on hiram’s orders, but it’s _our_ fight. the serpents’ job from day one has been to keep the people of riverdale safe, that hasn’t changed.” toni says firmly. cheryl feels a burst of pride hit her, an undeniable shock over the fact that this girl was _hers_ , this brave, amazing, loving, beautiful girl was _hers_ as toni grips her hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. 

 

“let’s swing by pop’s, then, make sure veronica is okay. call us if you need anything.” toni says to alice and fred, tugging lightly on cheryl’s hand as jughead gives archie a quick hug before he presses a quick kiss to betty’s lips.

 

“stay safe.” he whispers, hand cradling her cheek, and betty sighs against him and nods slowly before jughead takes a deep breath in and turns to cheryl and toni, determination in his eyes once more.

 

“let’s go.”

 

\-------------

 

toni very scarcely gets surprised.

 

she’s always had a keen eye, has always been able to see things coming from a mile away, especially the bad things that have happened in her life. the day her parents had died, toni had this horrible, sinking feeling in her stomach the entire day, her suspicions confirmed when the police had swung by to inform her of her parents demise. she just _knows._

 

however, in the last few months, she’s been beginning to wonder if maybe she’s losing her touch. she was certainly shocked when the ghoulies had kidnapped her and cheryl and had used them as collateral for the southside, was more than surprised when some of the serpents had defected to the ghoulies on that very same night, and she definitely wasn’t expecting to get shanked by penny peabody on the night she and jughead went to shadow lake. 

 

she really thought she had good instincts, but perhaps she's wrong. because pulling up to pop’s, she doesn’t expect to find what she does, and she thinks to herself that maybe she truly has lost the ability to feel when bad things are coming.

 

because it’s quiet. despite the gut feeling in her stomach throughout the entire ride here from the andrews's home, the feeling that something bad was waiting for them when they arrived, pops diner is, in fact...quiet.

 

there’s a few cars parked in the parking lot, indicating that it's a packed night and it's not exactly that quiet, and toni can even hear the boisterous laughter coming out of the diner as she and cheryl pull up on toni's bike, the red head's arms wrapped around her girlfriend's waist tightly. jughead pulls up right beside them as they look up to the diner with frowns on all their faces, a mixture of confusion and worry swirling with all three of them.

 

“looks like everything’s okay…” jughead murmurs, looking to cheryl and toni as they slowly begin to get off toni’s bike. toni removes her helmet with a frown as cheryl grips her shoulders and swings her leg off, removing her own helmet with her bow and arrow still strapped to her body.

 

maybe pop’s wasn’t on the ghoulies hit list. it would make sense, toni doubts that hiram would put veronica’s life in danger, seeing as she owned the place…but then again, the man seemed hellbent on destroying the life of her boyfriend-

 

“better to be safe than sorry.” cheryl reiterates, pursing her lips and hanging her helmet on the handle of toni’s bike before she grips her bow around her chest and makes her way toward the entrance of pop’s. jughead sighs, but soon follows after, and toni does the same, licking her lips and moving a little faster to catch up to cheryl before she's grabbing her girlfriend's hand and interlacing their fingers. cheryl gives her the smallest of smiles before she pushes the door open. 

 

they walk in just a little apprehensively, just a little cautious, but the diner is full of customers, all of them laughing and smile and loud, completely oblivious and unaware of what's going on outside this small establishment. toni glances around quickly, her eyes landing on josie with valerie and melody in a booth to the far right corner, to the riverdale bulldogs in a booth at the far left, laughing boisterously and finally, to veronica, who makes her way over to them with a tray of empty plates in her hand and a wide smile on her face.

 

“hola, my favorite serpents! what brings you all here?” she asks with a chuckle, setting the empty tray down in front of the counter with a smile to pop tate, but her smile quickly fades when she sees the serious expressions on all three of their faces before her eyes trails down to the bow strapped to cheryl’s body.

 

“uh…was there a medieval convention in town or something?” he asks with a nervous chuckle and a raised eyebrow at cheryl, who rolls her eyes with a slight smirk as jughead steps closer to veronica and grips her shoulder inconspicuously. 

 

“veronica, have you seen any ghoulies around here?” jughead asks in a low voice, glancing around quickly to make sure no one is listening in, not wanting to scare any of the customers in the packed diner, either. veronica frowns in confusion before she shakes her head slowly, fiddling with the apron of her uniform as she does.

 

“uh, no…should i have seen them around here?” she asks cautiously, glancing quickly outside as if she's expecting the ghoulies to show up suddenly. jughead purses his lips before he looks to cheryl and toni with a sigh.

 

"maybe they'll avoid pop's altogether." he says with a hint of hope, and cheryl laughs sarcastically before she simply looks to veronica with a firm nod.

 

"nothing suspicious at all has happened?" she asks with worry. veronica frowns before she shakes her head again.

 

"no, nothing. why, has something happened?" she asks, looking back and forth between the three of them as toni runs her fingers through her hair and glances around at all the people inside the diner. 

 

it's possible pop's will stay safe, that the ghoulies won't attack, but all of these people...they shouldn't be here, just in case...

 

"ghoulies have shown up on the northside, we're just making sure they don't do anything...bad." jughead finishes somewhat lamely. veronica rests a hand on the counter top and leans against it with a huff and a raised eyebrow.

 

"and you think pop's is the first place they'd come to?" she asks with a chuckle. 

 

"it is a staple of riverdale." cheryl mutters, glancing around the place fondly before veronica hums softly and looks over to pop tate.

 

"pop? have you seen-."

 

and just like that.

 

the sound of cars and motorcycles rumbling drowns out any words veronica is about say, echoing out outside of pop’s and into the night sky, and veronica’s attention is drawn from pop tate to the parking lot with a frown of concern as cheryl and toni both turn at the same time, necks whipping so fast, toni feels her muscles tense up and ache almost immediately.

 

fuck, fuck, _fuck-_

 

there’s raucous cheering and howling as two cars and at least three motorcycles come into view and begin circling around the parking lot with their tires screeching loudly on the asphalt, drawing the attention of all the diners inside. toni feels a shiver run up her spine at the way the diner suddenly grows quiet, all eyes on the chaos happening outside as there's more laughter and more cackling-

 

"jughead..." veronica says in a low voice, fear making her voice tremble as jughead throws an arm in front of her protectively just as toni and cheryl step closer to the door to gaze out of the small window of it. toni sees the car suddenly screech to a halt before the window is rolled down-

 

there's a flash of orange that flies from the window and lands straight onto the roof of one of the cars in the parking lot, a black audi that immediately catches fire. toni winces and jumps back, almost barreling into cheryl as flames erupt and curl into the dark sky outside, and the shouts and screams and gasps of shock and horror from everyone in the diner has them falling back from the window frantically, panic quickly spreading as reggie mantle suddenly jumps up from his booth with a roar of anger. 

 

“SON OF A BITCH!” he screams, his eyes on the car that is now aflame, leaving no doubt that it was _his_ car that just got torched-

 

“what the hell is going on?!” veronica shouts over the panicked and frantic noises of the customers, looking at jughead with complete horror and fear as he pushes her back away from the window protectively, making good on his promise to archie to keep her safe. toni watches as josie makes her way over to them, nudging through the crowd with valerie and melody by her side, and god, all three of them look so worried, their eyes wide with fear-

 

"cheryl, toni? what's happening?!" josie asks, and toni's head is pounding as jughead swallows thickly as looks to cheryl and toni with nothing but panic shining in his eyes.

 

he's at a complete and utter loss on what to do.

 

“i...i d-don't know..." toni looks at him in shock. she's never seen jughead freeze up like this before, the only other time was...was when she got stabbed, oh god-

 

“veronica, get everyone down to the speakeasy for safety!” cheryl says hurriedly and suddenly, causing jughead to wince and blink rapidly in surprise, and veronica stares at cheryl in confusion before she's taking a deep breath in and nodding once.

 

"okay...okay, yeah!" veronica clears her throat and takes her apron off before she's cupping her hands over her mouth and yelling over the shouts of panic and confusion.

 

"HEY! EVERYONE, FOLLOW ME DOWN TO THE BASEMENT RIGHT NOW!" she screams, josie, valerie and melody eventually joining in and ushering the customers down toward the back of the restaurant where there's stairs that lead to the speakeasy. cheryl is stepping up to the plate, her arm waving to urge people forward as she looks back at pop tate anxiously.

 

"do you have weapons, pop? bats or chains or something?" she begs. pop tate's face is filled with concern, but he nods once before he's disappearing into the kitchen, toni letting out a shaky breath as her eyes land on reggie and the rest of the bulldogs making their way toward the speakeasy-

 

reggie...all the bulldogs, they need them, they can't do this on their own-

 

“mantle! get your ass over here!” toni yells, whistling once and catching their attention. reggie's eyes land on her with a frown before he's pursing his lips and making his way over to them, fuming with a clenched jaw as he looks to jughead with rage and comes to a stop in front of them. 

 

“what the hell are those bastards doing?! that was my car, jones!” he roars, reaching out to grab jughead by the lapels of his jacket, but toni grabs him by the elbow of his own bulldogs jacket and pulls him back angrily with a furious shake of her head.

 

“hey, they’re not here for us, asshole! we have to stop them from getting in here and hurting someone!” toni barks, glaring at reggie as he blinks once and stares at her with rage before he glances back at the ghoulies that are still dragging around the parking lot, tires squealing loudly and making toni's ears ring painfully.

 

“those assholes are gonna pay!” reggie shouts, looking back at his bulldogs, who all immediately begin puffing their chests out and yelling in testosterone fueled violence. toni rolls her eyes, in disbelief over their stupidity to be honest before she's brushing it aside and looking to cheryl anxiously as she continues waving customers toward the speakeasy. 

 

"is it just the car and those three bikes?" jughead whispers in her ear urgently. toni throws a quick glance outside, sees the three bikes circling the car in the middle of the parking lot before she purses her lips and nods.

 

"yeah...i count at least five or six of them." she mumbles, trying her best to look inside the car. there's at least a driver and a passenger, maybe one or two more in the back, she can't tell...

 

the last of the customers race down to the basement before veronica and josie scurry back over to them quickly, both their eyes wide and filled with worry.

 

“what the hell are ghoulies doing attacking my diner? what's going on?!” veronica demands with a trembling voice. jughead grips veronica's shoulders with a shake of his head.

 

“listen to me, it’s a long story, and i swear i’ll explain it later, but right now, i need you and josie to get down to the basement, veronica!” jughead says hurriedly, gripping josie’s shoulder with his free hand and pushing them both gently toward the speakeasy. veronica shrugs him off easily with a huff.

 

“wait, no-jughead, what about archie?!” veronica exclaims, looking back at the serpent king with nothing but concern for her red haired boyfriend. toni winces, her mind wandering to archie stuck at the cooper household, probably completely unaware of what was going on right now as cheryl suddenly shakes her head and helps jughead push both girls toward the basement quickly. 

 

“archie’s safe, ronnie, i promise! now we need to make sure you are, too! just go!” cheryl begs, eyes wide and pleading, and veronica looks back at them hesitantly, as if she wants to join them in this fight before she simply curses under her breath and follows josie to the stairs and under pop’s diner, the door to the speakeasy slamming shut behind them as they do.

 

toni lets out a sigh of relief, thankful that the diner is now empty and quiet so she has a moment to fucking _think-_

 

she turns to see pop tate handing three bats out to the bulldogs, his expression filled with worry as he continuously glances out of the windows toward the ghoulies still cheering loudly, and toni's wondering why the fuck they haven't attacked yet as cheryl takes a deep breath in and pulls her bow up and off her shoulder, gripping it tightly before grabbing an arrow from her quiver and nocking it into place. 

 

“are we expecting a fight?” toni breathes, her heart pounding against her chest as she looks between cheryl and jughead anxiously. the serpent king purses his lips, looking a little green as he swallows thickly and glances outside of the window worriedly.

 

“possibly. but we stick together, like always. in unity, there is strength!” he says passionately, eyes blazing as he grips cheryl and toni’s shoulders, the both of them baring their teeth before they nod once. 

 

they can do this. they just have to stick together, _fight_ together-

 

“in unity, there is strength!” toni and cheryl say back with just as much determination, toni's hand automatically interlacing with cheryl's, only one thought ringing true for her right now.

 

_cheryl doesn't get hurt. no matter what fucking happens right now, cheryl doesn't get hurt._

 

jughead looks to reggie, who rests the bat on his shoulder and nods once, looking completely calm considering he's about to step outside to face a gang from the southside.

 

then again, his car was audi...

 

“what's the plan, jones?” he grunts. jughead scoffs and simply shrugs.

 

"there isn't one. just go out there and kick some ass." he grumbles. reggie blinks in surprise before he's grinning widely and nodding just as furiously.

 

"my kind of plan." he says sadistically, and toni watches as he nods toward the other bulldogs before they're all making their way out of the door to pop's, reggie kicking it open with a loud yell before the entire goddamn football team is running outside.

 

toni's heart is thundering so loudly in her ears, she can barely think, and truthfully, they could just leave reggie and the bulldogs to deal with the problem outside, she's quite sure the riverdale high football team actually has the ghoulies outnumbered, but she's not about to back away from a fight, and pop tate deserves the absolute best when it comes to his establishment, his _home_ being protected...

 

jughead nods, gives cheryl and toni one last reassuring look before he makes his way over to the front door of pop's, stepping outside of it while brandishing his pocket knife from his jacket. cheryl exhales shakily, and toni licks her lips and looks into the girl's eyes, sees nothing but panic and worry, but determination and drive behind that chocolate brown color she loves so much-

 

toni leans in and kisses cheryl deeply, the red haired girl moaning against her as she deepens the kiss before toni pulls away desperately, eyes closed, savoring the taste of cheryl on her lips and tongue before she manages to finally speak. 

 

"don't get hurt, you hear me?" she whispers fiercely, one hand tangling in cheryl's fiery locks, and cheryl nods against her before she's brushing the pad of her thumb down toni's nose affectionately.

 

"you, neither." she simply croaks out. toni bites down on her bottom lip before she nods as well and presses another chaste kiss to cheryl's lips.

 

they're gonna be okay, they are, everything's gonna be fine...

 

cheryl grips her bow once more, her whole body tensing up as she and toni inch closer to the door. they throw a quick glance out of it to see jughead tackling a ghoulie to the ground, reggie and his bulldog facing off against the ones who have exited the car as the ones on motorbikes continue circling around all of them, cackling wildly-

 

toni kicks the door open, but cheryl's the first to exit, her bow pulled taut as she lets an arrow fly without a second's hesitation. it sinks straight into the front wheel of one of the motorbikes spinning around the parking lot, a loud pop exploding through the air before the bike flips in on itself and the passenger goes _flying._

 

the bike surprisingly doesn't land on him, just crashes into the asphalt with fiery orange sparks as the passenger lands hard on his back, groaning and writhing in pain, but cheryl’s already pulling the bow taut with another arrow in place, not even flinching at the damage she's just caused, and toni, fuck, toni couldn't be _prouder-_

 

“COME ON, YOU SON OF A BITCH, GET OUT HERE AND FACE ME LIKE A MAN!” reggie screams at the top of his lungs, pulling toni's attention away from her girlfriend to see the bulldog pummeling the bat in his hands down onto the windshield of the car in the middle of the parking lot, where, to her surprise, she sees a ghoulie is still inside, glaring at reggie angrily and wincing with every hit he makes repeatedly, over and over again.

 

toni watches as the ghoulie suddenly rolls his window down, and she sees a flash of orange-

 

“REGGIE, LOOK OUT!” toni screams, and she isn't even sure why she does it, but she's suddenly running forward as fast as her legs will carry her, adrenaline pounding through her so powerfully, she barely hears cheryl scream her name before her small body slams into reggie’s frame so hard, they both collapse to the ground just as a burst of fire erupts right from the spot reggie was standing in seconds beforehand.

 

the heat almost sizzles against her flesh, almost burns it off completely, toni wincing despite not feeling any pain, it's just the _heat_ of it, fuck-

 

toni glances back behind her with a racing heart as the man jumps out of the car and is immediately meet with an arrow straight to the thigh, his eyes wide before he's roaring in pain and collapsing to his knees with the bottle of alcohol and newspaper in his hands dropping to the ground because of it-

 

“come on!” reggie jumps up and grabs toni by the arm, pulling her up roughly before he’s shoving her behind him chivalrously in an attempt to protect her, and toni almost wants to yell at him, because she's a goddamn southside serpent and she doesn't need protection, least of all from reggie fucking mantle, but there's two ghoulies who aren't occupied with either jughead or the other bulldogs, and they're gunning straight for reggie and toni-

 

one ghoulie comes straight for her, and reggie pushes toni back protectively before he swings, the bat whipping through the air along with his grunt of exertion as the ghoulie jumps back out of harm's way, but there’s another one flanking his left and inching closer and closer to reggie-

 

toni jumps forward and swings her fist as hard and as fast as she can until she connects with a hard jaw, her hand immediately aching and throbbing with pain as the ghoulie stumbles back in shock before an arrow is sinking into his shoulder, causing him to collapse onto his knees with a scream of pain.

 

“TONI!” cheryl screams from the front of pop’s, and toni looks up at her frantically, sweat dripping down her brow and her body aching to see cheryl pointing down at something-

 

"THE MOLOTOV! GRAB IT AND LIGHT IT!" cheryl cries out, sending another arrow flying straight toward one of the bikes still circling the parking lot. it sinks into the back wheel, causing another loud pop and another bike to be flipped, and the driver of the one bike that's left skids to a halt before he's shaking his head beneath his helmet and suddenly taking off out of nowhere, clearly deciding this fight is no longer worth it-

 

"TONI! NOW!" cheryl's voice brings her back, and toni scrambles, almost tripping over her own feet before she's grabbing the molotov cocktail the driver of the car dropped and reaching for the lighter that's dropped beside it. she flicks the wheel, watches the flames burst forth as she holds it up to the newspaper, and as soon as it catches fire, she looks up at cheryl with a firm nod.

 

"ready! now!" toni throws it straight toward the ghoulies' car, and of course...

 

cheryl doesn't miss.

 

the arrow slams through the bottle, glass shattering everywhere before the flames quickly spread over the car, and toni drops down to the ground, covering her face protectively with her hands as the ghoulies all roar in anger and rage-

 

"EITHER YOU GET OUT OF HERE, OR THERE'S MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM!" jughead absolutely _roars_ at the top of his lungs at the ghoulies that are left, the ones that are looking at the burning car in awe before they glare up at cheryl in disbelief and anger. 

 

the red haired girl, in all her goddamn fucking _beauty_ , simply nocks another arrow with a smirk and pulls it taut, aiming it at the ghoulies that are left, and right before they're very eyes, they're scattering, retreating and running off down the street as the ones injured continue to roll around on the ground in pain, all of them in their situations right now because of cheryl...

 

the bulldogs scream and cheer and roar after the cowardice ghoulies, telling them to stay away as toni takes a few deep breaths in to calm herself down, but fuck, the adrenaline pumping through her veins right now, it feels like it's never going to fade away. 

 

that was fucking _amazing._

 

she turns back to the entrance, where cheryl is watching her anxiously, her bow slowly lowering down as her arms tremble, and toni doesn't hesitate for a single second. she races over to her girlfriend, cheryl dropping her bow and catching toni just as she jumps into cheryl's arms and hugs her close with a whine.

 

_she's okay, she's okay, she's more than fucking okay, she just kicked complete and total **ass-**_

 

“don’t d-do that again, t.t. _god…_ ” cheryl breathes into her ear, hands groping her back and holding her impossibly closer as toni buries her face into cheryl’s air with her arms wrapped around her neck.

 

“you did amazing, cher.” toni croaks out, causing the red haired girl to chuckle as she smooths her hands up and down toni’s back. 

 

she can't believe they just did that...fuck, granted, they wouldn't have got very far without reggie and the bulldogs's help, but that...that was fucking _badass._

 

toni's been in a gang for two years now, and she's never seen or done anything like that before.

 

“everyone okay?” jughead yells out, spitting blood from the open wound in his mouth as the bulldogs make their way back over to jughead with reggie’s car and the ghoulies’ car still burning in the parking lot, the smell of smoke and ash and fire invading all their senses and causing toni's head to pound. cheryl and toni pull apart from each other just as reggie stops beside his burning car with the bat still on his shoulder.

 

"motherfuckers...we gotta put these fires out!” reggie calls out, looking to jughead with his jaw clenched in anger, and jughead nods once, wiping the blood of his chin as the door to the diner opens and pop tate exits with a fire extinguisher in his hands.

 

“i’ve already called the fire department, they’re on their way!” he grunts out before he’s unhooking the hose of the extinguisher. reggie passes him the bat and takes the fire extinguisher with a sigh, looking at his car morosely before he's squeezing the nozzle and watching the white foam hit his car.

 

jughead makes his way over to them, and toni can see the cut on his cheek and the bruised lip from the firelight as he spits out more blood and looks up at them with a sigh.

 

"are you two okay?" he asks softly. toni simply nods as cheryl sighs and presses a kiss to her forehead.

 

"we're okay. are you?" she croaks out against toni's skin. jughead chuckles and simply nods once, his tongue poking at the cut inside his mouth, probing the flesh awkwardly.

 

"been through worse." he mumbles. cheryl simply smiles, and toni licks her lips, watching the damage before them as pop tate brings out two more fire extinguishers so the other bulldogs can help reggie put out the fires. 

 

they did it. they defended pop's, everyone inside was safe...

 

fuck, this has already been a long night and it's barely begun-

 

a phone begins ringing loudly, and toni stares at cheryl automatically, the ringtone all too familiar as the girl straps her bow over her shoulder and pulls out her phone from her pocket with a sigh. a frown immediately takes over her face as she looks at the caller id before looking up at toni in concern.

 

“lisa…” she murmurs before she’s answering it.

 

“hello?” toni watches her carefully, worry gripping her because lisa usually doesn't call unless something's happened with nana rose-

 

cheryl's face quickly turns from concern, to confusion, to complete and utter horror, a soft gasp escaping her, and toni’s heart completely and utterly _falls._

 

_fuck, something's happened to nana rose, god, not now, please not now-_

 

“what?” cheryl breathes, her hand immediately seeking toni’s and squeezing it tightly, and toni faintly hears the sound of another phone ringing, hears jughead answering it, but all she can do is wince in pain, both physical from cheryl gripping her hand so harshly and emotional from not knowing what the _fuck_ is going on with nana rose right now, and she watches cheryl with a racing heart as the girl blinks back tears and purses her lips, her eyes shining with nothing but pain.

 

_god, please not now, not now, of all fucking times-_

 

“i’ll be right there, lisa, just stay there, please…stay safe.” cheryl croaks out, her voice shaking as she hangs up the phone a moment later, gazing down at it with tears streaming down her face, and toni reaches a hand under her face to tuck a finger under her chin, forcing her gaze up as cheryl sniffs loudly and looks at toni in complete and utter despair.

 

“my mother’s at thistlehouse…she’s locked lisa out and is keeping nana rose hostage inside.” she whispers with nothing but horror and shock.

 

_no...no, no, no, no, no, no, this **cannot** be happening right now-_

 

toni chokes, the reassuring words she should be saying getting caught in her throat, but she quickly swallows them down and forces herself to be strong for cheryl right now, because fuck, _her fucking mother-_

 

her whole body begins shaking, but it's nothing compared to how hard cheryl is trembling as she grips cheryl’s face in her hands, trying to get her to look into her eyes as she blinks back her tears and wipes away cheryl’s that are falling down her cheeks.

 

_be strong for cheryl right now, toni-_

 

“cheryl, everything’s gonna be okay, we’re gonna go back home right now and we’re gonna find a way inside, i-.”

 

“TONI!” 

 

toni jumps in surprise, her heart not able to take much more of this as jughead suddenly appears in her peripheral vision and looks between them both with his phone in his hands, his face almost green with worry as he lets out a shaky sigh.

 

“we’ve gotta get to the lakeside! sweet pea just called, there’s ghoulies surrounding the whole area!” he exclaims.

 

toni's knees buckle, the world spins, and she's quite sure she's seconds away from just straight up _collapsing._

 

everything...everything's fucking falling apart, and on the worst fucking night for it to do so-

 

what is she supposed to do? penelope could be doing god knows what to nana rose right now, but the lakeside...if the ghoulies were there, god only knows what they had planned, toni _knew_ this was all going to end up being a distraction for what they _really_ wanted: to drive the serpents out of the only home they had left. 

 

_fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck-_

 

"toni..." cheryl's voice is so soft, her hands gripping toni's tightly as she raises them to her lips with a shaky breath and presses a kiss to her bruised knuckles gently with a sad smile.

 

"go to the lakeside with jughead. i'll go to thistlehouse and stop my mother's infernal plan." she says firmly.

 

split up? cheryl...cheryl wants them to split up? no, they can't, they can't just go to do completely different, completely fucking _dangerous_ missions without the other, they promised, they fucking _promised_ each other-

 

"what? n-no, cheryl, what happened to we stick together? everything we do, we do beside one another-."

 

"there isn't time, toni! we're needed in two different places at once and we have the ability to do so, just not together!" cheryl exclaims, her bottom lip trembling violently as she sniffs and moves her hands up to cradle toni's cheeks softly.

 

"the serpents need you. and my nana needs me. we have to do this, toni." cheryl croaks out. toni swallows thickly, tears quickly building as she shakes her head in complete and utter refusal to accept what cheryl's proposing.

 

"cheryl, last time we did something apart, i got stabbed! i...what if she does something to you or something happens and i'm not there-." toni chokes out, causing cheryl to grab her and pull her in close for an embrace. toni collapses into her, sobbing as she buries her face into cheryl's neck and inhales the smell of leather and vanilla and something else that is so purely cheryl blossom...

 

she can't leave her. she can't leave her to deal with her mother alone, not after everything penelope blossom has done to make sure cheryl's life is a living hell, she can't just abandon her girlfriend, no, no, no this is so wrong, no-

 

"i don't want to leave you, toni. not one bit, not after everything we've been through, but there's _no other way._ " cheryl whispers, and fuck, toni knows she's right, she _knows that..._ but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

 

they have no other choice. either they both went to thistlehouse and the lakeside was destroyed, or they both go to the lakeisde and they leave a defenseless old woman in the clutches of penelope blossom.

 

they _have no other choice._

 

"i...fuck, cheryl, please, please, _please_ , stay safe...i can't lose you, do you understand me?" toni breathes, pressing kiss after kiss to her neck as cheryl whimpers and runs her fingers through toni's pink hair gently.

 

"you too, toni. please, i can't go through what happened before again..." toni licks her lips and pulls back, gripping cheryl's chin between her fingers.

 

"promise me." she says firmly with a slight hiccup from her tears. cheryl bites down on a quivering bottom lip before she nods.

 

'i promise." she whispers. toni nods once before she's crashing her lips against cheryl's desperately, taking in every second that their lips move languidly against each other's, tongues clashing and hearts aching until cheryl pulls away and rests her forehead against toni's with a breathless sigh.

 

"i promise, too." toni whispers back. cheryl makes a low, whining noise in the back of her throat before she's pulling toni back into her embrace, but it's brief, short and sweet and to the point as she presses kisses to every inch of toni's face before pulling back.

 

"i love you so much, toni. never forget that." cheryl says hoarsely, but toni refuses to hear it, because it sounds too much like a fucking goodbye and she _can't do that-_

 

"don't. don't you dare, this isn't goodbye. we're gonna be okay, cher. i love you, too." toni says through clenched teeth, gripping tightly to her girlfriend and pouring every inch of love, every inch of respect and devotion and adoration and admiration and everything else positive she feels about cheryl into this one last kiss before they depart for the night, into the complete and utter unknown that lies ahead of them.

 

it doesn't matter. none of it matters. 

 

just as long as they come back home to each other...


	18. up in flames

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feliz navidad! 
> 
> don't kill me!
> 
> hope you enjoy this chapter, you can let me know what you think in the comments or you can talk to me on twitter at @endofdaysforme! collar fic update is coming tomorrow i promise! <3

navigating toni’s bike is thankfully, not that difficult.

 

toni had given cheryl lessons a few times when cheryl was feeling bold and brave enough to weather the task of operating toni’s ‘baby’, but truthfully, despite her inexperience, she finds herself driving almost perfectly in her haste to get back to thistlehouse, focused on nothing more but the sound of lisa’s voice on the phone.

 

lisa had sounded so distraught, her words barely coherent, and the longer cheryl isn’t at thistlehouse, the longer her mother is doing god only knows what to nana rose within those four walls she and toni called home. 

 

cheryl’s heart hasn’t stopped racing the entire night, but the panic she feels right now is indescribable. she’s fucking _terrified._

 

she has no idea what her mother is doing at thistlehouse, no idea why she has nana rose hostage inside, and no idea what her mother is planning, but whatever it is, it can’t be good.

 

it’s never good where her mother is concerned.

 

cheryl hates this, hates this with every goddamn part of her. she can’t believe that she’s been forced to leave toni behind to go to the lakeside on her own with jughead…can’t believe she’s not there helping to defend the serpents from whatever the ghoulies are planning all because her mother has decided to attack out of nowhere. the idea that toni’s life is in danger once again and she’s not there to protect her…it has bile rising in the back of her throat, and more than once she’s wanted to turn this bike around and head to the lakeside, but she can’t leave nana rose in penelope blossom’s clutches. god only knows what that vile woman has in store for her grandmother…

 

she exhales shakily as she turns the bike and pulls into the blossom estate through the iron wrought gates, her mind racing and her heart pounding as she focuses on the illuminated path in the darkness ahead of her and pulls up to the driveway of thistlehouse. 

 

she gasps beneath her helmet when she finds lisa screaming and banging on the front door, yelling desperately as her voice echoes out in the night sky.

 

“MRS. BLOSSOM?! PLEASE, OPEN THE DOOR, PLEASE! DON’T DO THIS-.”

 

“LISA!” cheryl comes screeching to a stop, the tires marking the asphalt as she squeezes the break before she kicks the stand down, turns the lights of the bike off and turns off the engine, ripping her helmet off and dropping it on the handle of the bike as lisa turns around at the sound of her arrival. her eyes are wide, immediately filling with relief as she takes in cheryl’s arrival in front of her.

 

“cheryl! oh thank god!” lisa chokes out, running forward before she barrels into her with tears streaming down her face, hugging her tightly as cheryl squeezes her tightly and looks up at the house with a frown.

 

it’s quiet, that can’t be anything good.

 

“where is she?” cheryl asks firmly, pulling away from lisa and gripping her shoulders to look into her eyes. lisa shakes her head, thick tears falling down her face as she swallows loudly and lets out a shuddering breath.

 

“i d-don’t know! we were just in the lounge room and i was preparing rose’s dinner when all of a sudden, penelope came barging in through the front door! as soon as i heard her come in, i ran to the door to stop her, but she grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out here so quickly, i didn’t even have time to react! she locked all the goddamn doors in the house, i’ve tried _everything_ to get in, i…cheryl, i don’t know what she’s d-doing in there-.” the words come up in a jumbled, panicked rush, and cheryl rubs a hand up and down her arm to calm her, her own panic making her voice shake despite how hard she’s trying for it not to.

 

“shh, it’s okay! i’m gonna find a way in, okay? everything’s going to be okay, lisa…” cheryl urges, letting out a shaking breath as she looks up at the house and desperately tries to think of a way to get inside. 

 

she needs help.

 

she can’t call the sheriff’s department, sheriff minetta would more than likely _help_ penelope torture nana rose than do anything to stop her, the son of a bitch…

 

the serpents were all out of action fighting the ghoulies at the lakeside and probably all over the northside itself…she can’t pull them away from defending their homes for something like this…

 

she could call fred, but there’s no doubt that archie and betty would come running to help her as well, and cheryl can’t do that to them, not when archie’s life is so in danger already…

 

veronica and josie were hiding out in the speakeasy at pop’s with more serpents on the outside protecting it after jughead had called in some back up, so they can’t help, so fuck, who the hell else was there? she could try calling josie’s mother, but-

 

_sheriff keller. oh god, why didn’t i think of him before?!_

 

kevin and his father…she has no idea if they’re even safe right now, but she has to try them. they’re her only hope left.

 

cheryl hesitates before she reaches into her pocket for her phone, unlocking it quickly and handing it to lisa with a firm nod.

 

“take this. find kevin keller’s number in my contacts and call him. his father, tom, used to be the sheriff. tell them what’s going on and tell them to get here as soon as they can, okay?” cheryl says hurriedly. lisa swallows thickly once more before she nods furiously, looking down at cheryl’s phone as the girl squares her shoulders and looks up at the house fearfully once more before she makes her way around the house to where her room is.

 

there’s a trellis under her window. she can climb through and get inside easily.

 

she stops short just beside the trellis, looking up at the window at least twenty or so feet above her before her eyes land on the trellis itself.

 

_toni climbed up here that night we kissed for the first time…she was injured and she still climbed this fucking thing to get to me because i was upset…_

 

tears prick cheryl’s eyes at the thought of her girlfriend, the worry that’s pounding through her almost suffocating. what was happening at the lakeside? what if toni was in trouble, or thomas, or fangs, or sweet pea, or _any_ of the other serpents? if toni got hurt again and cheryl wasn’t fucking there…

 

_focus, cheryl…please, just focus._

 

she sinks her fingers into the square holes and grunts as she begins pulling herself up, arms aching from pulling her bow taut for so long back at the andrews’s home, but she fights through the pain and continues her way up until she’s swinging a leg on to the top of the trellis. as soon as she’s secure, she exhales deeply before reaching for the window pane, praying that she hadn’t locked it before they left this morning-

 

“dammit!” she bares her teeth, shoving at the pane uselessly and staring at the latch behind the glass almost murderously. she bites her lip and glances around the top of the trellis breathlessly for something to smash the window open with.

 

_come on, a rock, a branch, fucking **anything-**_

 

cheryl growls under her breath after fruitlessly scanning the whole top of the trellis before she licks her lips and steadies herself on top of it, legs on either side of the narrow top. 

 

she has to punch it. there’s no other way. 

 

she squares her shoulders, frowning before she takes off her serpent jacket carefully. her heart sinks when she wobbles slightly, but she steadies herself once more with a shaky sigh before folding her serpent jacket as best she can and wrapping it around her right fist.

 

she takes a deep breath in, staring at the window and trying to determine which glass pane she should aim for. she settles for the one closes to the bottom and the latch, and she tightens her fist before she swings it forward with all her strength. the glass instantly shatters around the wooden pane, falling in small and large pieces out of the window to the ground outside and to the floor inside her bedroom as she uncurls her serpent jacket from around her fist, quickly checking for any damage. thankfully, the jacket is still intact, and cheryl allows herself a small, shaky smile before she slides it back over her shoulders quickly and reaches in to unlatch the window, being careful not to cut herself in the jagged pieces of glass still clinging to the window pane. 

 

“yes!” she almost sobs with happiness when her fingers catch the silver latch, pushing it clockwise and whimpering when the window swings open slightly, and she pulls it open further before swinging her other foot around the trellis and grabbing the window ledge to pull herself through slowly and carefully.

 

she stumbles slightly, falling to her knees and hissing in pain when some of the broken glass on the carpet floor digs into her skin, but she simply jumps up and brushes it off with a grit of her teeth before glances around her room quickly.

 

it’s eerily quiet. the entire house is. 

 

“where is she?” cheryl murmurs, sweat dripping down her brow and her heart clenching as her eyes brush over the dresser beside her, her heart aching at the photos tacked to the wall above it.

 

the ones of her and toni and sweet pea and fangs…the ones of toni’s parents, the only thing she had left of them…

 

_focus, cheryl…nana rose…_

 

she squares her shoulders and makes her way to her bedroom door slowly and quietly, hands gripping the doorknob and turning it slowly. she winces when the door squeaks as she opens it, pausing in the middle of the doorway and pricking her ears for any sounds, but when none come, she simply slides through the small opening and begins tiptoeing her way down the hallway.

 

that’s when the smell hits her.

 

gasoline.

 

_oh god…oh god, oh god, oh god-_

 

cheryl swallows down the bile that quickly rises in her throat, nothing but fear pounding through her, and she focuses on being brave, grips the ruby gemstone necklace that toni gave her last christmas between her fingers to draw strength from it before she exhales shakily and makes her way toward the stairs.

 

gasoline in the house, god, she should’ve seen this coming, of course penelope would do this…

 

she climbs down them cautiously, as if she’s anticipating a rush of flames, eyes scanning the entire room, and she’s suddenly feeling a little regretful that she gave her bow and arrows to toni, but she’d rather toni stay protected right now even if the girl didn’t have quite the level of skill in archery that cheryl had.

 

cheryl had shown her the basics the other week when she was practicing, toni can use them to defend herself more than cheryl can right now. she was probably facing over a dozen ghoulies while cheryl was only facing her mother.

 

her mother who has no doubt dowsed the entire house in gasoline from the way the smell is invading cheryl’s nostrils…

 

_i need to put an end to this before she does something drastic._

 

“penelope?!” cheryl’s voice echoes out in the main foyer, and fuck, she _hates_ how much her voice is shaking, but she’s so fucking scared right now, for toni, for nana rose, for _herself_ -

 

“in here, cheryl.” 

 

oh god.

 

penelope’s voice is calm, but it’s coming from the drawing room, and cheryl knows that can’t mean anything good. 

 

there’s a fireplace in there.

 

_keep breathing, cheryl, please keep breathing…_

 

she tries her best to breathe in through her mouth, but her lungs are beginning to burn a little from the smell and the taste of gasoline, the entire house reeking of the stuff. she licks her lips and makes her way toward the drawing room, hands shaking as she reaches out and pushes open the door with a shaky exhale.

 

penelope is standing right by the lit fireplace, a candelabra in her hands as she faces the fireplace with her back turned to cheryl. 

 

oh, the irony of it all…the absolute déjà vu that hits cheryl at the sight of it…

 

_so this is her plan…_

 

it’s almost an exact reenactment. why do the blossoms have such a flare for the dramatics?

 

thistlehouse is all she has left on the blossom estate, she can’t let it burn, no, please-

 

this is hers and toni’s _home._ they’ve spent months building their lives here, she can’t let it be destroyed…

 

“mother…what are you doing?” cheryl croaks out, her whole body trembling as she takes a few cautious steps inside of the drawing room, her boots squelching on the ground from the gasoline soaked through it as penelope lets out a deep breath and slowly turns to face her daughter.

 

and to cheryl’s complete and utter surprise, she’s crying.

 

thick tears are streaming down the older woman’s cheeks, staining her skin with black mascara as her bottom lip trembles, a soft whine escaping the blossom woman before her when her eyes land on cheryl.

 

cheryl sees the glass of whiskey in her other hand, watches as the woman raises it to her lips and skulls the rest of it before she’s simply dropping the glass down to the ground, the last dregs of the brown liquid mixing with the gasoline already splashed all over it. 

 

“cheryl…” penelope breathes, the lightest and shakiest of smiles taking over her face, and cheryl’s eyes are only focused on the lit candelabra in penelope’s hand, watching as the flames dance with each sway she makes before cheryl swallows thickly and glances around the room for any sign of that white hair she loves.

 

“where’s nana rose, mother?” cheryl asks calmly despite how fucking _frightened_ she is right now, her hands trembling at her sides as she curls them into fists and digs her nails into the palm of her hands to keep herself in control.

 

she won’t break down in panic in front of this woman, she refuses to. she has to stay focused, prepared for when penelope inevitably attempts to drop that goddamn candle…

 

penelope scoffs loudly, inhaling sharply before she turns to face the fire once more.

 

“why do you care, cheryl?” she asks in a low voice filled with nothing but malice. cheryl’s heart sinks further at the sound of it, and fuck, she feels like she’s seconds away from a heart attack.

 

cheryl knows penelope has no love lost for the older blossom woman, but she was just a fragile old lady, god, _where is she-_

 

whatever penelope’s done to her, cheryl needs to save her-

 

“what do you want?” cheryl asks, her voice rough as she holds back her tears and steps just a little bit closer. she just needs to get close enough to get that candelabra out of her mother’s hands, she needs to be cautious with her words here so she doesn’t alert her-

 

“i’ve been thinking…” penelope starts, her voice cracking slightly, and the older woman’s back tenses before she turns to face cheryl once more, the girl freezing in her spot immediately as penelope sniffs slightly and clears her throat before she looks to her daughter with a sad smile.

 

cheryl feels like she should feel some kind of sympathy for the broken look on her mother’s face right now, but she feels _nothing._ and why should she? after everything this woman has done to her…abused her for sixteen years, forced her to watch jason be treated as the golden child while she was treated like dirt, tore away her best friend from her life with no remorse for the way cheryl cried and wept and sobbed in jason’s arms when she learned of heather’s departure from riverdale…accepted hush money from her would-be rapist, sent her to gay conversion therapy to be tortured for days on end…

 

_she ordered penny to hurt toni._

 

god, despite the numerous occasions of pain and suffering penelope has put cheryl through, it’s _that one thing_ , that one undeniable grain of truth that has rage burning through her. because penelope could hurt her as much as she fucking wanted, but for her to hurt _toni?_

 

she doesn’t deserve an ounce of cheryl’s love, respect or sympathy.

 

regardless, she digs her feet into the ground to stop herself from pouncing forward to attack, her survival instincts kicking and overriding her need for revenge right now.

 

_not yet, cheryl…that candelabra falls and this entire house burns in flames with you and nana rose in it._

 

“thinking of what?” cheryl whispers instead, watching as penelope hums softly and closes her eyes, the tears clinging to her lashes quickly falling and mixing with the black mascara already staining her face. she exhales shakily before she continues.

 

“perhaps…perhaps the reason the blossoms have been dying out, cheryl…is because we weren’t meant to survive. perhaps we were meant to die, along with jason and your father…perhaps the blossoms weren’t meant to survive the year. first jason, then your father…then you, then me, and eventually nana rose…all of us were supposed to die, cheryl…because we’re like a cancer, this family of ours.” penelope says hoarsely, licking her lips before she opens her eyes and glances down at the small flames fluttering from the candelabra in her shaking hands.

 

_shit, shit, shit-_

 

“mother, i…please…” cheryl’s shaking so goddamn hard right now as she raises a trembling hand in surrender, pleading her mother to stop, her heart thundering in her throat as she swallows dryly and shakes her head furiously.

 

“you’re…you’re not thinking straight, mother…please, just tell me where nana rose is.” cheryl begs, not beyond doing so for herself and her nana’s lives right now, because the deranged look in penelope’s eyes is telling cheryl that she’s seconds away from dropping that goddamn candelabra, and cheryl’s not ready to lose this home…she’s not ready to die.

 

god, just _months ago_ she was sinking into the depths of sweet water river without a single care for herself anymore, but now…now she has something to live for.

 

she has a family. she has _toni._

 

she can’t die today.

 

the candelabra sways again in penelope’s hands, cheryl’s breath hitching as she looks up at her drunken mother in despair.

 

_is this what she saw the day i burned down thornhill? is this what our lives have become? god, so much has changed since that day…but we’re still here in the exact same position with our roles reversed…_

 

penelope lets out another whimper before she’s holding her head high and sniffing back her tears, looking to cheryl with a small shake of her head before she bares her teeth.

 

“i failed as a mother.” she says in a hollow voice, a slight scoff escaping her, and cheryl’s so surprised by her words, she’s frozen in her spot, knees knocking together from how hard she’s shaking as she tries to process what penelope just said.

 

did she, penelope blossom, really just admit to being a terrible mother? to having failed her children with how she raised them? is that something that penelope blossom really just said? 

 

cheryl licks her lips and contemplates her next words.

 

she refuses to kiss this woman’s ass just because her life is in danger, but if she says the wrong fucking thing right now…

 

_tell her your truth, cheryl. go on. it’s about time she learned it._

 

“i…i won’t deny it. you have, mother…you never loved us like you should have. maybe jason, but me? you…” cheryl trails off, unable to continue, the lump in her throat only growing, and god, she hates it, she hates how the tears prick her eyes at the memories that flood her mind, memories of penelope gripping her face, telling her no one would have her, memories of the woman before her slapping a bamboo stick over the goddamn back of her thighs for the smallest things…getting paint on the floor or finishing an entire meal instead of leaving a few bites like penelope taught her…

 

“you’ve never loved me.” cheryl whispers, the tears spilling over and rushing down her cheeks before she can stop them. 

 

she doesn’t feel any sympathy for the woman before her. but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t _hurt._ penelope blossom was still her mother, but the truth of the matter is, cheryl has no idea what that word even _means._ what is a mother? she’s never known…

 

she supposes a mother is someone like alice cooper, someone who is willing to jump into danger to protect betty, someone who is willing to have her daughter be upset with her and stomp her feet and yell angrily at her as long as it kept her safe. she supposes a mother is someone like sierra mccoy, a woman who, despite being disapproving, accepted that her daughter was dating a boy with a snake tattoo on his neck because he made josie _happy,_ and that’s all that mattered. she supposes a mother is someone like mary andrews, willing to keep a relationship with the husband she left behind all so her son can grow up with a good life knowing that both parents love him and would be willing to fight to the death for him. she supposes a mother is someone like hermione lodge, stuck in the viper’s pit with a ghoul of a husband, but using sneaky tactics to still ensure her daughter with as much safety as she can provide…

 

all women, all _mothers_ who would never think to do what penelope blossom has done to her. throw her into gay conversion therapy, abuse her, verbally and physically for sixteen years, make her feel unloved, unwanted, undesired…

 

penelope stares at her for a long time, unwavering, eyes boring into her daughter’s, and god, cheryl has no idea what’s going on in that woman’s mind, she just needs her to _not drop that candelabra-_

 

“i _do_ love you, cheryl. i do…i just never learned how to show it. not with the way nana rose treated me…nothing more than a child bride to her son.” penelope says hoarsely, her eyes distant and cold all of a sudden, and cheryl simply blinks in complete and utter shock, pulled out of her own thoughts because of it.

 

_child bride? what is she talking about?_

 

“i…what?” cheryl breathes, completely and utterly flabbergasted at this new revelation. penelope scoffs once more, shaking her head as she suddenly looks up to the ceiling and lets out a deep sigh, as if the words she’s about to say have been weighing on her chest for years and years, building up to this moment of release.

 

and maybe they have.

 

“your father wanted us to keep it a secret from you and jason, but yes, cheryl…i grew up in the sisters of quiet mercy as nothing more than an orphan, no family and no name, and nana rose and your grandfather came along and scooped me up, adopted me into the blossom family so that i could grow up and eventually wed your father. they raised me as his sister, cheryl, and as soon as i came of age, they forced me to marry him. _that’s_ the kind of woman your nana rose is.” penelope hisses through bared teeth, anger clearly getting the better of the woman as she exposes her life story and grips the candelabra tighter. 

 

cheryl’s frozen in her spot, trying to find a way to stop the anger that’s beginning to flood her, but she can’t help it, because the only thing that seems to stick from any of what penelope just said is the fact that her mother grew up in the sisters of quiet mercy.

 

her mother _knew_ the kind of horrid happenings that went on in that place and she _still threw cheryl in there._

 

it’s inexcusable, it’s horrid, disgusting- 

 

“a child bride, cheryl…plucked from that orphanage and thrown into a family who saw me as nothing but a wife for my own adoptive brother, treated me like dirt until i fulfilled my job and provided them with what they wanted more than anything: you and jason.” penelope whispers, staring at her daughter with nothing but pain. 

 

cheryl blinks back her tears, a mixture of rage and guilt and sadness swirling inside her, because god, despite everything her mother has done to her…

 

to be raised as nothing more than that? a child bride…nothing more than an incubation pod for children with red hair to carry on the blossom name…

 

is that why she despised cheryl so much? because she and jason are the reason her life has been nothing but a miserable hell? if that’s the case, why didn’t she seem to hate jason just as much as she hated her? because jason was chosen to carry on the blossom maple farm legacy?

 

_you could spend the rest of your goddamn life trying to understand penelope blossom, cheryl, it will **never** happen! none of this erases what she did to you! she doesn’t deserve an ounce of your sympathy!_

 

it’s toni’s voice in her mind saying all of this, like the pink haired serpent is right beside her hearing all of these words, and she knows this is _exactly_ what toni would say too, knows deep down, that toni would be right as well.

 

it _doesn’t_ erase what penelope’s done to her. it’s an explanation, perhaps…but not a magic eraser that fixes all the pain and suffering cheryl’s been through because of her.

 

cheryl has no words…doesn’t even know where to begin to find the ones to say.

 

“how can you love that woman, cheryl? when she did what she did to me?” penelope breathes, her head tilting slightly as she stares at her daughter as if she’s wondering how cheryl can love nana rose when the woman, despite this new, horrid past being revealed, as done nothing but show cheryl love her entire life…

 

cheryl finds herself shaking her head, her voice trembling as she clears it and finally blurts out the words running through her mind.

 

“i didn’t know. i didn’t know about any of this, you never told me, or jason! but it doesn’t matter, mother. it doesn’t matter because…because it _doesn’t_ excuse all the abuse, all the pain, all the _suffering_ , you’ve put me through! it doesn’t excuse what you did to toni! i _know_ you’re the one who ordered penny to stab her! she almost died, mother!” cheryl growls, her rage beginning to build up once more as she digs her nails into her palm harder to keep herself grounded.

 

toni almost died. the love of her life, the person who has given her nothing but fucking _happiness_ , erasing so much of the pain that’s build inside her for sixteen years, almost died because of the woman before her.

 

she doesn’t give a _fuck_ what penelope’s sob story is. it doesn’t excuse the years of torture she’s put cheryl through, and it most certainly doesn’t excuse her trying to _kill_ the only person in cheryl’s life that she’s ever experienced such an irrevocable love and happiness with. 

 

she tried to take that away from her. penelope could beg for forgiveness, could apologize until her throat is sore, which cheryl notes that she hasn’t, until her knees are bloody, cheryl will never, _ever_ feel an ounce of sympathy for this woman.

 

penelope scoffs once again, wiping away her tears, and it’s obvious that the time for guilt tripping is over, that she’s done exposing her past, that it’s time for her to put her plan into motion as she grips the candelabra tighter, and cheryl’s heart plummets.

 

_shit, shit, i shouldn’t have said that-_

 

but _fuck_ , cheryl’s not about to stop defending toni or herself just because she’s scared for her life right now, she refuses to-

 

“that goddamn nurse at the hospital was no use, either! i tried to get her to do the job properly and she screwed it up twice!” penelope hisses with nothing but malice and anger. 

 

cheryl frowns in confusion, completely taken aback.

 

“what on earth-.” she stops short, trailing off as the memories of toni’s time at the hospital rushes through her mind.

 

the nurse…the nurse who gave toni her sandwich after the four days they spent apart and she got sick. the one who was looking at them with so much fear and apprehension-

 

the pieces seem to just click together out of nowhere in cheryl’s mind, despite the smell of gasoline invading her senses, despite everything that’s happened tonight completely and utterly _fucking_ with her mind, despite it all…the pieces just melt together until it becomes one coherent thought.

 

“you hired a nurse to keep messing with toni’s iv drip…to keep her in pain.” cheryl breathes, too in shock to even spit the words out with venom like she means to, too horrified to move a single inch despite the fact that all she wants to do right now is sink her claws into penelope’s eyes and rip them out of the socket-

 

“i paid her to poison the sandwich too when i learned that _vagrant_ was in the hospital with you, but she cowered out and fled town before i could find her again, the little rat!” penelope growls venomously.

 

and there she is. back in full force with the snap of her fingers.

 

the woman who cheryl _despises._ the woman who has done nothing but hurt her for the last almost seventeen years of her goddamn life. the woman cheryl hates with every fiber of her goddamn being.

 

she just admitted, right to cheryl’s face…that she fucking hired _two_ people to kill toni. first penny, who stabbed her, left her with a damaged kidney that she’ll have to suffer through the rest of her life with, and some nurse who kept screwing with toni’s iv drip to keep her in pain, torturous pain that likely led to toni abusing her pain pills-

 

she tried so fucking hard to ruin toni’s life, to ruin both their lives and their relationship, and yet… _nothing worked._

 

“i’ve tried everything, cheryl! everything to show you that _snake_ isn’t good enough for you, but you won’t listen! she’s _nothing_ , cheryl! she comes from nothing, and she _is_ nothing!” penelope cries out, the candelabra shaking violently in her hands from her gestures of anguish, but cheryl doesn’t care.

 

cheryl almost wants to laugh, to gloat about her weak attempts at trying to destroy their happiness, because it didn’t fucking work, but she can’t think about anything else but how _angry_ she is right now at the woman before her.

 

_enough. i’m putting an end to this._

 

“you come in here with grand stories, expecting to draw any kind of sympathy from me when you have done _nothing_ but hurt me for sixteen years!? when you knew you tried to kill the only person who has ever loved me?! you are NOTHING but a vile, despicable woman, and i _hate_ you!” cheryl screams, unable to stop herself, tears streaming down her face as her heart clenches and unclenches repeatedly over and over and over again-

 

she’s done being careful around this woman. she’s done being careful at all. she wants penelope to know just how much she loathes her.

 

god, her own mother…so hell bent on killing someone she loves? what mother acts like this? what mother tries to destroy something that made their child happy?

 

penelope laughs coldly, throws her head back and shakes her head as she stares at cheryl with nothing but amusement and malice, and god, she’s so vindictive, cheryl can’t even believe she was birthed by this woman, it seems so fucking impossible-

 

“i’m not here for sympathy, cheryl, and you’re a silly, silly girl for thinking that i am. i know i’m past beyond any redemption at this point. but if there’s one thing i want you to draw from this…this inevitable end…” penelope breathes, taking a step closer to cheryl as the candelabra shakes in her hand and cheryl’s heart clenches even tighter.

 

_stop that candle from falling, cheryl, please…_

 

“i do love you, my dearest daughter. and all i’ve ever wanted is what’s best for you. and that girl…she is not what’s best for you.” penelope whispers hoarsely, her chin wobbling as she sniffs back more tears and looks into cheryl’s eyes, and maybe her words are sincere…just maybe they are… 

 

but what’s best for her? like what’s best for her is smacking her, painting her black and blue until she obeyed? like what’s good for her is accepting goddamn hush money from the man who tried to rape her? like what’s _fucking_ good for her is trying to kill the love of her life?

 

penelope blossom had no idea of what was _best_ for cheryl and she never will.

 

“you don’t know _anything_ about what’s best for me. and you’ll never understand the love toni and i have for each other because you… _you_ are nothing but love starved, bitter old woman who can’t stand to see her daughter happy. if you want to do what’s best for me…you’ll leave me and toni the _fuck_ alone. you’ll stay out of our lives and you’ll let me _love who i love_ without interfering. if you want what’s best for me, you’ll stay out of my life until i take my dying breath. because _that_ , mother…is what’s best for me.” cheryl hisses through clenched teeth. 

 

if penelope is shocked or hurt by her words, she doesn’t show it. she simply smiles and closes her eyes, exhaling shakily as cheryl watches her cautiously, trying to anticipate her next move and trying her best to stay calm, but that candelabra is shaking in her hands more and more violently by the second and oh god, oh god-

 

_toni…_

 

this is their home, they can’t lose their home-

 

“perhaps what’s truly best…is if we let the blossom empire burn to the ground, cheryl. bring an end to it, once and for all. let it all turn to ash and dust, wipe our hands clean of it forever.” penelope breathes, an almost maniacal glint in her eyes that cheryl finds herself inhaling sharply at the sight.

 

she can’t drop that candle, fuck, cheryl still doesn’t even know where nana rose is-

 

“mother, _please…_ where is nana rose-.”

 

penelope drops the candelabra before she can finish her sentence.

 

flames immediately spread all over the ground, roaring and filling the room with nothing but heat, and cheryl jumps back with a scream, her skin immediately burning up with the fire that’s taking over the drawing board at lightning speed and surrounding her so quickly-

 

“MOTHER! WHAT DID YOU DO!?” cheryl screams, smoke immediately being inhaled and searing her throat as the flames roar higher and she coughs violently. cheryl jumps back again, trying to get out of the path of flames, and she turns and reaches for the doorknob to get out of the room altogether, but something hard slams into her, squeezes around her chest and holds her close-

 

“don’t fight it, cheryl! this is our destiny! we weren’t meant to survive!” penelope hisses into her ear, and god, cheryl tries to fucking hard to fight her off, but the smoke is getting worse and she can feel the flames getting closer and closer-

 

“LET GO OF ME!” cheryl stomps her booted foot down, hears the sound of crunching before penelope grunts in pain and lets her go, and she grabs the door and rips it own, her lungs searing with pain as she exists the drawing room at top speed.

 

cheryl enters the main foyer, where more flames are quickly spreading, catching the curtains and the walls, and cheryl heads for the front door before she comes to screeching halt.

 

it’s surrounded by fire, blocking her path-

 

she runs for the stairs, coughing and choking with each wheeze of breath she takes in, hoping against hope that maybe nana rose is in her room-

 

something solid and definitely metal smashes into the back of her head _hard_ , and cheryl falls to the ground, her vision turning white as she gasps in pain and braces herself on her hands and knees-

 

oh god, her head…

 

“shh, it’s going to be okay!” hands grip her, wrapping around her body, and cheryl can barely see, her head pounding and her vision blurred with white spots as penelope’s voice fills her ear once more, the woman pulling cheryl into her lap and cradling her close as cheryl feebly tries to push her off.

 

“i’m sorry…i’m sorry it has to end this way, cheryl…” penelope sobs barely coherent through her tears, and cheryl’s trying so desperately to fight her off, but her head…her head hurts, nana rose, she has to get to nana rose…

 

_toni…_

 

“mother…mother, stop, p-please…” cheryl tries to get out, but her words are slurred, her tongue heavy in her mouth, her eyes growing darker and the flames getting closer, cloyingly invading her lungs, each wheeze of breath aching more and more as penelope leans down-

 

and presses a kiss to her forehead. 

 

it’s almost enough to shock her back to consciousness, because cheryl’s quite sure it’s the only kiss penelope’s ever given her. the only loving gesture she’s ever received from her own goddamn mother in the sixteen years of life she’s breathed and of course, of course it would be in this fucking moment, where she’s sends away from dying, that penelope would show any ounce of care for her.

 

clifford killed jason. it’s only fitting that penelope kills cheryl. the blossom name forever tainted, known as the fucked up family where the parents murdered the children just a year apart from each other.

 

she’s going to die. she’s going to die in this fucking house, in the arms of her fucking mother, she can’t, she _can’t-_

 

_toni…no, i can’t die, not now, not this way, please…fight it, cheryl, fight it, please fight it!_

 

she thinks of soft, buttery lips, of pink hair and chocolate brown eyes filled with love, of caramel skin and warm arms wrapped around her waist, of the most cutest, heart-warming giggle she’s ever heard-

 

_FIGHT IT, CHERYL!_

 

toni…toni’s voice, it’s her voice-

 

she hears muffled yelling before there’s the sound of a loud bang, and she’s still trying with heavy arms that feel like fucking lead to push herself out of her mother’s lap, to get away and get out, but penelope’s holding her so tightly-

 

“PENELOPE! LET HER GO!” 

 

his voice is loud, but undeniable.

 

tom keller.

 

sheriff keller, oh thank _god-_

 

pounding footsteps as cheryl blinks rapidly, trying to bring herself back to consciousness despite how hard her head is pounding, and she can’t help the groan that escapes her when she feels her body shift in penelope’s arms as the woman holds her closer possessively. 

 

“NO! NO, THIS IS HOW IT’S SUPPOSED TO END!” penelope screams into her ear, causing cheryl to wince, but suddenly, cheryl feels her strong arms slowly begin to uncurl from around her body, a whimper of pain escaping her as her body throbs until softer, gentler arms are pulling her close-

 

“cheryl?! cheryl, it’s kevin, can you hear me? open your eyes!” 

 

she’s trying, she’s trying so hard, her eyelids fluttering repeatedly, but everything feels so heavy, her body feels so heavy, god…

 

“dad, she’s bleeding!” kevin screams, and she can feel his hands running through her hair, can feel the hot, sticky liquid pouring from the back of it-

 

_nana rose…nana rose is still in here…_

 

“KEVIN! GET HER OUT OF HERE!” tom’s voice is loud, somehow coherent over the roaring flames licking the walls of the house and quickly engulfing the entire home, and kevin goes to lift her, but cheryl finally finds the strength inside-

 

“n-no…n-nana rose….nana rose…” cheryl slurs out, her eyes finally opening to see kevin’s slightly blurred face looking down at her with panic and fear.

 

“what? cheryl, we need to go, this place is seconds away from burning to the ground-.”

 

cheryl groans and pushes him off as best she can, the boy’s arms dropping her in shock before she’s scurrying up the stairs instead of down them on her hands and knees, gritting her teeth and blinking the blurriness out of her eyes.

 

the flames are quickly making their way up the banisters of the stairs as well, and god, cheryl knows she should be getting the fuck out of here, but she won’t leave nana rose behind.

 

“KEVIN! NO!” tom keller’s voice is somehow loud enough to sound out over the roaring flames, and cheryl can hear pounding footsteps right behind her.

 

kevin’s following her.

 

_oh you loyal, loyal boy…_

 

“cheryl, stop, we need to get out of here!” he screams, reaching for her arm and actually managing to drag her upright onto her feet, and cheryl takes advantage of it and pushes him back again, swaying slightly before she grabs the railing of the stairs and uses it to keep pushing forward despite the blurred vision, despite how much her body is aching, refusing to stop. 

 

she turns the corner of the stairs and reaches for the door to nana rose’s room, her lungs aching and her chest burning as she coughs, and the second her chest squeezes, her vision blurs and she collapses to the ground just outside nana rose’s room, her head pounding as she whimpers. kevin bends down to grab her, but cheryl shakes her head and points at the door repeatedly, panting for breath-

 

“nana rose…she…nana rose, kevin…” cheryl gasps out, praying that kevin understands her despite how slurred her words are, and kevin looks at the door with a frown before his eyes widen just as tom turns the corner of the stairs and reaches out to grab kevin with a growl.

 

“WE NEED TO GO-.”

 

“HER NANA’S IN THERE!” kevin yells over the roaring flames, and tom’s eyes widen before he looks to the door and doesn’t even hesitate. he steps back before he throws his leg out against the door with a grunt, the door smashing open and causing wood to splinter everywhere before he’s dashing inside just as the flames begin to spread up the walls leading to the second level-

 

“please…please…” cheryl whimpers, gripping kevin’s hand in her own as he bends down beside her, and a few moments pass before-

 

tom walks through, carrying small, fragile roseanne blossom in his arms, fear shining in the older woman’s eyes. cheryl cries with relief, her bottom lip trembling as she grabs the railing of the stairs-

 

she yelps as the flames lick her hand, pulling back just as kevin hooks his hands under her arms to pull her up.

 

“cheryl, come on!” kevin begins dragging her toward the stairs, but cheryl gasps, her eyes widening when she remembers-

 

the photos. toni’s photos. the photos of her parents, it’s the only ones she has left, nothing else matters, but those photos, toni can’t lose them-

 

she knows she’s risking her life.

 

she does it anyway.

 

“CHERYL!”

 

she pushes kevin back, the boy’s arms flailing to grab her back as she tears across the hall towards her bedroom, her eyes burning and her head pounding, but she pushes through the insurmountable pain as she bursts through her bedroom door, ignoring kevin screaming at her to come back. she grips the doorknob before she runs straight to the dresser, reaching out with trembling hands and carefully taking the photos of toni’s parents off the wall. she tucks them into the pocket of her serpent jacket before she opens the dresser and takes out the ring box hidden beneath her clothes, the blossom family ring that she’s kept hidden from her parents, thinking that she flushed it down the toilet when polly had been trying to get it back-

 

the world sways as kevin finally catches up to her and grabs her hand to drag her out of her room. 

 

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING, COME ON!” cheryl follows him now without hesitation, letting him drag her through the hallway and toward the stairs where the flames have well and truly taken over the entire main foyer now, and she inhales sharply, the world spinning as smoke invades her lungs-

 

she stumbles, and on instinct, she lets go of kevin’s hand before she’s tumbling down the stairs, rolling uncontrollably as her body slams against each step until a pain unlike any she’s ever felt zaps up her shoulder-

 

“CHERYL!” 

 

cheryl finally comes to a stop at the bottom of the stairs, and she whimpers in pain, holding her arm to her chest and gasping for air as the flames lick her body-

 

she’s going to die, she is, she’s going to burn-

 

strong arms hook around her back and her knees before she’s being lifted off the ground, and kevin keller holds her close with a grunt, years of wrestling making the girl light as a feather in his arms before he’s carrying her out of the house as quickly as he can, her head lolling against his chest weakly until finally-

 

she feels the cool night air hit her skin, the heat dissipating the further away from it kevin carries her, and she can hear loud sobbing and yelling, but all she can focus on is the warm of kevin’s body pressed against her until the boy lays her down on the ground, gently brushing her hair away from her face.

 

“cheryl!? hey, can you hear me?” kevin croaks out, slapping her cheek lightly and causing her to wince before she looks up at kevin through her eyelashes.

 

she made it...she made it, she's safe, kevin saved her life...

 

“nana rose…” she breathes, her chest squeezing with pain as kevin smiles down at her and nods.

 

“she’s okay! dad’s got her, he’s calling an ambulance and the fire department now!” he says hurriedly, trying his best to reassure her, but cheryl can still hear the fire crackling and spreading behind her, and she whimpers and curls up against kevin’s chest as he holds her close and whispers words of comfort to her softly.

 

thistlehouse is burning. her home, the only home she had left, her home with _toni…_

 

thick tears stream down her face before she can stop them, her heart aching more than the pain in her body as she looks up at kevin with a trembling bottom lip.

 

“my home…” she whimpers, fingers gripping kevin’s shirt, and kevin sighs and pulls her closer, pressing a kiss to her brow as he does.

 

“i know, i’m so sorry, cheryl…” he whispers, his hand smoothing up and down her spine, and god, her whole body hurts so much, her shoulder is burning with pain-

 

“YOU’VE RUINED EVERYTHING!” penelope screams, her voice echoing out and reaching cheryl just as kevin suddenly sits cheryl upright with her back pressed against his chest as he shrugs off his jacket and bundles it up into a ball, holding it against the back of her head to stop the blood from flowing. 

 

she winces, her eyes heavy as she watches penelope bash her fists against tom’s chest, sobbing tears of anger, and tom is watching her in complete and utter disbelief, grabbing her wrists and yelling at her to stop as cheryl bares her teeth and blinks back tears as she looks up at the house she made a home with toni.

 

the flames are completely taking over, so reminiscent of the way thornhill burned down, but instead of watching on with a smile on her face, cheryl’s watching it all burn with nothing but grief and despair, her lungs aching and her chest heaving with dry sobs as kevin continues to press his jacket against her head roughly.

 

“cheryl, you’re shaking, just breathe…” kevin whispers into her ear, but cheryl glares up at her mother, watches as penelope blossom looks down at her with her chest heaving before she steps closer to her-

 

“STAY AWAY FROM ME!” cheryl screams at the top of her lungs, kicking her legs with as much energy as she possibly can with tears falling down her cheeks before she draws a shuddering breath in and looks at penelope with nothing but hatred and venom.

 

“you can burn down every goddamn property i choose to make my home, i will n-never, _ever_ find love in you again! toni is my _home_ , whether you like it or not!” cheryl gasps out between sharp breaths, the smoke inhalation getting the better of her as her head falls back against kevin’s shoulder. 

 

the distant sound of sirens echoes out as penelope blossom whimpers and collapses to her knees, her face in her hands, and cheryl looks past her to see nana rose also on the ground with lisa holding her close as tom keller looks up at the flames that engulf thistlehouse in complete and utter horror.

 

“my god…” he breathes, eyes flicking over the home as cheryl whimpers and sinks further into kevin, wishing more than ever that is was smaller, more petite arms wrapped around her right now…

 

she’s not the only one who’s lost her home tonight.

 

“toni…” cheryl whines, her heart breaking at the thought of toni not even knowing right now that she’s lost _everything,_ at the thought that toni herself is probably in just as much danger as cheryl was just a few moments ago…

 

“i…the lakeside, i…k-kevin, i n-need to go-.”

 

“cheryl, you’re not going anywhere but straight to a hospital, do you hear me? just hang on, the ambulance is almost here!” kevin says urgently, pressing his soaked jacket deeper against the back of her head as cheryl simply collapses against him compliantly.

 

her hand is burning, and so is a spot on her thigh along with her shoulder and her chest with each shuddering breath she takes in, but nothing compares to the pain her heart as she watches thistlehouse, the last home she had left, go up in flames.

 

_this can’t be happening…not again…_


	19. it's like artwork, smurfette

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooof
> 
> that's all i'll say.
> 
> this one is a little shorter but it's very action packed so there's that!
> 
> hope you guys like it! you can find me on twitter at @endofdaysforme or you can leave a comment letting me know what you think! we're getting close to the end now guys!

toni’s grip around jughead’s waist tightens, her heart pounding in her ears as the lakeside slowly comes into view, the town of riverdale eerily quiet despite the complete and utter chaos happening within.

 

nothing but worry has completely taken over toni’s mind, worry for the lakeside, worry for her grandfather, for sweet pea, for fangs, but more than anything…worry for cheryl.

 

she can’t believe they’ve been forced to separate, can’t believe she’s not at thistlehouse right now helping cheryl with whatever her mother has planned, and she can’t help but feel like she’s abandoned cheryl, the guilt gripping her the entire ride here, but cheryl had reassured her that this is what they had to do, and toni clings to those last words cheryl had told her before she had kissed her deeply and taken off for thistlehouse on her bike.

 

_“i love you, toni. i’ll see you when this is all over. we’re going to be okay, t.t. i promise.”_

 

but the last time they were separated, toni had been stabbed and had almost died, and she knows it’s weighing heavily on cheryl’s mind as well, that they’ve been forced to do another serpent mission apart, but she can’t help but feel like this is all going to go to shit, that they should’ve just stuck together…

 

but it’s too late to do anything about it now, and at the end of the day…fuck, cheryl was right. she couldn’t leave nana rose in penelope blossom’s clutches, and toni was needed at the lakeside…all toni can do is pray that cheryl is safe, that she’s okay and that whatever penelope has planned isn’t putting her life in danger, prays that penelope has some ounce of care for her daughter somewhere deep down in her heart to not do anything to hurt her…

 

they’ve been through too much at this point. toni is so fucking _exhausted…_ how much more bullshit did her and cheryl have to go through before they got some fucking peace and quiet? when will her and cheryl finally have a moment alone together that didn’t involve worry about injuries or the serpents or their friends or the ghoulies or a million other things?

 

_we’re going on a fucking holiday once this is over…_

 

she has no idea what’s waiting for them once they reach the lakeside, jughead had told her that sweet pea’s voice had sounded strained, but not panicked when he had called the serpent king to tell him that the ghoulies were at the lakeside, so toni knows there’s at least not a fight happening, but the ghoulies were _at the lakeside_ , and that’s enough to get toni’s blood boiling and her heart panicking with whatever _could_ be happening now…they left pop’s ten minutes ago now, toni unable to move for a few moments as she had watched cheryl tear out of the parking lot on her bike, toni gripping cheryl’s bow and quiver in her hands as she watched her go in despair.

 

_“take them, t.t. i want you to have something to defend yourself with in my absence…”_

 

cheryl refused to take no for an answer, but toni just fucking prays she’s made the right decision…if she’s left cheryl defenseless by taking her bow and arrows…

 

toni bites down on her bottom lip as the sound of loud jeering suddenly echoes out the closer they get to the lakeside, and she frowns, trying to discern what’s going on, but whatever it is, it can’t be good…sweet pea had said the ghoulies were at the lakeside but he hadn’t said anything about them attacking-

 

toni’s heart sinks regardless, her fingers digging into jughead’s side and gripping his serpent jacket tightly as the boy turns his head and yells at her with a frown of concern clearly showing underneath the visor of his helmet. 

 

“hang on!” he yells over the roar of his bike, and toni grits her teeth and clings to his serpent jacket, the pain in her side intensifying just a little as jughead accelerates faster, the bike thrusting forward quickly as they turn the corner and finally enter the lakeside. 

 

toni’s eyes immediately take in the horde of ghoulies that have clearly come from the bridge between the north and southside as jughead’s bike roars to life, dirt and mud flying everywhere, and toni sees the serpents standing in their jackets in front of the trailers and the lakeside protectively become a sudden blur, the two groups in a clear stand off before jughead skids to halt next the closest trailer with the tires squelching in the mud, violently spraying dirt all over the place. 

 

toni’s eyes settle on the group of ghoulies just ahead of them, and her heart drops.

 

penny and malachai are at the forefront, at least fifteen to twenty ghoulies behind them, a wicked glint in both their eyes as they stare and jughead and toni with malevolent grins on their faces, clearly waiting for the serpent king to make his arrival before they decide to make a move, because now…now they look _excited._

 

_fuck…fuck, fuck, fuck-_

 

toni swings her leg off the bike, ripping her helmet off and rushing straight toward the serpents to the right of her. they’re all forming a defense line across the lakeside, clearly doing whatever it takes to prevent the ghoulies from getting into their safe hold, and toni can see that f.p, sweet pea, fangs, and thomas are just a little ahead of the other serpents, standing out amongst the crowd-

 

no, what is her grandfather doing, he shouldn’t be anywhere near this, it isn’t safe-

 

she comes to a skidding halt in front of sweet pea, who reaches out to grab her, his eyes falling on the bow and arrow attached to her body with a raised eyebrow.

 

“where’s cheryl?” he asks immediately. toni quickly swallows the lump in her throat, trying her best not to panic at the thought of cheryl at thistlehouse all alone as she looks at f.p, sweet pea, fangs and thomas anxiously.

 

“she had to go thistlehouse. her mother, she’s got nana rose hostage, she…she had no choice.” toni whispers back hoarsely. she hears f.p inhale sharply beside her before jughead’s gripping toni’s shoulder and whispering quickly into her ear.

 

“get that bow ready, toni.” he says firmly before he’s turning to face penny and malachai, and toni licks her lips and looks to sweet pea and fangs with a nod just as penny calls out loudly.

 

“nice of you to join us, serpent king!” she shouts, her cackles echoing out into the night sky as jughead simply glares at her with as much hatred as he can possibly muster.

 

toni’s heart is beating so fast, and as much as she’s worried about cheryl right now, she finds herself worrying about herself and the others more than anything as she grips the bow over her shoulder and pulls it up and off her body, grabbing an arrow from the quiver and nocking it into place as smoothly as she can.

 

she’s not a pro, but cheryl’s taught her the basics, and she’s hoping she looks confident as she pulls the bow taut and aims it straight for penny’s face, the bow only slightly shaking in her mixture of adrenaline and fear as she takes a few steps closer to stand beside jughead to get a clearer shot.

 

penny’s smile falters, and she shakes her head and scoffs in disbelief, and toni watches as malachai growls under his breath and touches his shoulder, which toni can see from here, is very clearly bandaged up and still bleeding heavily. he’s sweating profusely, clearly struggling with the injury, and toni feels a rush of pride hit her over the damage cheryl has caused him with one arrow as penny looks to her with nothing but hatred.

 

“getting real tired of having that _thing_ pointed at me, pinky.” she snarls, clenching her fists and her jaw as if she’s doing everything she can not to fly forward and attack toni right now, and toni feels like she should be afraid, considering this is the woman who stabbed her a month ago and left her for dead, but all she does is swallow her fear, push it aside as she pulls the bow tighter with a smirk and simply says nothing.

 

she refuses to give penny the satisfaction of thinking she can get inside toni’s head anymore. toni may still be carrying the trauma of what happened to her deep down in her heart, but she won’t let this woman play any part in her pain…not anymore.

 

“as long as you’re a threat, that bow will keep getting pointed at you, penny! now tell me what the hell you’re doing here so we can get this over with!” jughead barks out, and f.p scoffs and looks to the ghoulies in front of him with his hands crossed in front of his body and his head raised high, his jaw clenching in what toni suspects is anger as penny’s wicked grin returns. she holds her arms out high on either side of her, looking at the other ghoulies with a laugh before she’s looking back at jughead wickedly.

 

“well, we’re waiting for _you_ , serpent king! and now that you’re here, we can finish what we started when we took over the southside all those months ago!” she calls out. jughead frowns, looking to toni, who exchanges a glance with him, her arms shaking slightly from the lack of experience with holding a fucking bow taut for this long, but she thinks about cheryl, about how goddamn composed she looked when she was doing this less than a few hours ago on archie’s andrews’s porch, and she draws strength from the memory, taking a deep breath in and looking back to penny as jughead replies.

 

“first you invade the northside looking for archie and now you what? want to wipe out the serpents? what’s your goal tonight, penny?” he says through gritted teeth, but with a hint of curiosity, the goddamn true detective in him coming out to play as penny simply shrugs and looks around the place they’ve made a home with wonder.

 

“eh, that kid was one part of it, but seeing as you’ve got him in hiding now…we’ve decided to do our own thing. maybe a certain someone will get pissed at us about it, maybe not…i’m not exactly focused on that right now...just focused on taking you guys out.” penny says simply, as if they’re simply discussing menu options or something else simple instead of their lives being on the line. 

 

toni doesn’t get it, doesn’t understand what their endgame here is. they had the southside, what else did they want from the serpents? did penny really hate them that much that she was willing to jeopardize everything the ghoulies had to make sure all the serpents were done for? if that’s the case, what the _fuck_ did the serpents ever do to her to make her so vindictive towards them? all they ever did was provide her with a home and money, for god’s sake. she was their lawyer, the only serpent with a degree who could get them out of sticky situations, and yes, many of the serpents refused to work with her because of her bullshit “i scratch your back, you scratch mine tenfold” policy, but toni doesn’t remember the serpents ever doing anything to warrant all of _this…_

 

toni hears sweet pea growl behind her, pulling her out of her thoughts, and she licks her lips and swallows thickly, glancing behind her quickly to look at her grandfather with worry.

 

thomas topaz looks pale, filled with worry, and toni sees the way fangs is gripping his elbow to keep him upright. nothing but concern fills her, because he shouldn’t be here, he was the last remaining serpent elder, and toni knows the serpents can’t lose him just as much as _she_ can’t lose him, either…if he gets hurt tonight…

 

thomas makes eye contact with her before he’s lifting his head high and giving her a firm nod, nothing but pride shining in his eyes.

 

“stay focused, little bird.” he murmurs. toni purses her lips, gives him the same firm nod before she turns to look back at penny and does exactly as her grandfather says, determined to make him proud, to make cheryl proud, to do whatever it fucking takes to make sure the serpents come out of this alive-

 

“so everyone’s here then…let’s get this over with!” f.p calls out, clenching his jaw angrily and stepping in front of his son and, to her surprise, toni as well, protectively keeping them from view while still managing to allow toni’s arrow to stay poised right for penny’s heart as the woman chuckles and looks to her ghoulies behind her. the sound of knuckles cracking echoes, toni watching as the ghoulies holding weapons begin swinging them threatening in preparation, but penny raises a hand to stop them, raising an eyebrow at f.p with a smirk before she opens her mouth to continue talking, something she clearly has a fucking habit of doing-

 

“now what kind of leader would i be if i didn’t offer you and your snakes a deal, f.p?” she says slowly, causing f.p to frown as jughead scoffs and shakes his head in disbelief.

 

“a deal? we don’t take deals from ghoulies, especially ones that used to be serpents!” he hisses, eyes falling on tall boy, who toni can very clearly see is hiding behind the younger ghoulies in guilt as f.p scoffs and shakes his head angrily. there’s a few other familiar faces in the twenty or so crowd of ghoulies before them, but toni refuses to entertain them by acknowledging them. they left the serpents, they were dead to her now.

 

penny laughs before she raises a finger and shakes it at jughead while tutting, as if she’s reprimanding a child, which, toni has to remind herself, she technically _is._

 

sixteen years old and the leader of a goddamn gang…

 

_heavy weighs the crown on the serpent king’s head…_

 

“now, now, serpent king, be a good leader and hear me out, huh? your serpents lives are on the line here…” penny says, the threat only being raised higher as the ghoulies begin to murmur with excitement, clearly thirsty for serpent blood…

 

_“you take a deep breath in and release the arrow while you exhale, my love. it keeps you balanced and stops you from shaking.”_

 

cheryl’s words echo in her mind, and god, toni wishes so much that cheryl was here right now…she feels so goddamn weak without her girlfriend by her side, but she knows cheryl would give her nothing but hell for it, would tell her to be strong, to not be afraid…is she okay? is she safe? god, toni _hates_ not knowing…

 

_please let cheryl be safe, that’s all i care about, all i want…_

 

jughead waits for penny to tell him this offer of hers impatiently, bouncing from foot to foot anxiously before f.p’s fingers wrap around his son’s forearm to get him to relax, and penny gives him a lopsided smile that grows the longer she watches this silent exchange between father and son before she finally replies. 

 

“the serpents disband for good, leave riverdale behind and leave the ghoulies at the top of the food chain of this lovely town of ours…you give us archie andrews, and we don’t destroy every single trailer within our line of vision right now. we’re not afraid to shed a little blood tonight, jughead, we sure as shit are getting paid to do it. we’ll watch it all burn, and you along with it.” penny says slowly, making sure that jughead hears every single word and processes them, and toni bites down on her bottom lip and looks to jughead worriedly.

 

they can’t leave riverdale, and they sure as hell can’t give them archie. but disbanding…if it saved their lives-

 

_no, no fucking way! the serpents were here first, and this is **our** land!_

 

all this over bullshit territory…toni will never understand it. this was the part of being in a gang that she fucking _hated_ with a passion. the camaraderie, the familial aspect, the loving environment, _that’s_ what appealed to toni about being a southside serpent, but all of this? dealing with turf wars and drugs and all this other shit…

 

this isn’t what her grandfather and the other elders envisioned when they created the serpents all those years ago…

 

jughead looks to his father, who scoffs and looks behind him at thomas, the former serpent king and the elder exchanging looks in an almost silent conversation before f.p’s turning around to look at penny with nothing but hatred shining in his eyes.

 

“this is uktena property! hell, we’ll fight you anywhere else but not here! you can’t shed blood on sacred land, penny! the consequences are something you wouldn’t want to face! you may be my worst enemy but not even i can condemn you to that!” he calls out. penny takes in his words before she scoffs, laughing loudly as the ghoulies do as well.

 

“you think we give a damn about some spooky, bullshit story that claims the ghosts of the uktena will haunt those who spill blood and take a life on their land? it’s all a myth, a myth that you’ve all latched onto like idiots! you think we give a shit about the uktena tribe _at all?_ god, you’re delusional!” she says derisively.

 

toni’s blood _boils._

 

that’s her _fucking family_ penny’s talking about, her family she’s disrespecting-

 

“get the hell out of here if you know what’s good for you!” toni growls, stepping closer and aiming the bow straight for penny’s heart, and god, it’s taking everything in her not to let this arrow fly right now, how the fuck does cheryl keep herself so composed-

 

penny takes one look at her, eyes flitting up and down her body before she’s laughing loudly, louder than toni’s heard her laugh the whole night as she looks at toni in amusement.

 

“look at you, lara croft! what, did strawberry shortcake give you some lessons and now you think you can let that arrow fly without missing?” she teases, the other ghoulies laughing at her as well, but toni doesn’t really care, refuses to show any signs of embarrassment as she steps closer and pulls the bow tighter.

 

“even if i miss, i could always just take an arrow from the quiver and stab you in the eye with it.” she hisses, and penny’s grin is almost dazzling as she giggles almost maniacally.

 

“if you could get close enough…” she hums. toni returns an equally sadistic grin before she nods once.

 

“trust me, i can.” she says simply. penny’s smile falters for only the briefest moment before she bites down on her lower lip, looking toni up and down once more.

 

“you know, for someone who almost died a month ago, you’re talking a lot of smack.” she chortles, cocking an eyebrow and taking that one step a little closer, causing all the serpents to tense up immediately as toni pulls the bow tighter with a growl.

 

“still here, aren’t i?!” she hisses, the feather of the tail of the arrow tickling the corner of her mouth as she talks, and penny hums and smirks as her eyes fall down to toni’s flank, no doubt eyeing the area she stabbed as if she has x-ray vision and can see the scars that rest there.

 

“and i was so sure i dug that knife in deep…” she says playfully. toni can’t help but wince, and she watches as penny reaches into the pocket of her leather jacket and pulls out a pocket knife, flicking it open and exposing it to the light of the fire-

 

a pocket knife stained with blood.

 

and toni knows, she _knows_ the second her eyes land on the crimson stain on the steel…

 

it’s _her_ blood.

 

toni’s arms shake, and she winces as the sight of it causes a pain to flare up her side, the memory of the pain she felt the second that knife had ripped through her body causing her to swallow thickly.

 

this woman is fucking _psychotic_ , there’s no other words for it. toni’s blood is still on that fucking knife, god…maybe it’s a good thing cheryl isn’t here right now, if she had seen that…

 

as it is, she feels jughead tense up beside her, hears fangs and sweet pea growl under their breaths in anger before f.p’s exhaling shakily, penny sees toni wince straight away, the smirk on her face only growing wider as she stares at toni wickedly.

 

“do you remember how it felt, smurfette? do you remember feeling this knife slide through your skin, feeling it _twist_ inside you, the blood pouring from your body as your eyes darkened?” she whispers lowly, her eyes locked dead with toni’s, who fights back a whimper, but can’t stop her bottom lip from trembling as she tries to block the memories out-

 

she crawled…she crawled on the floor like a goddamn slave and penny had placed her foot on the wound and kicked her down further without a second’s hesitation…

 

_stop thinking about it, please, toni-_

 

“did you think about your little girlfriend, toni? did you think about how you’d never see her again as you felt the life leaving you? was the taste of her lips and her skin the last thing on your mind? did you think about how you never got to say goodbye-.”

 

“SHUT UP!” toni screams before she can stop herself, the tears spilling over as the bow shakes in her trembling hands, and penny’s eyes gleam wickedly with nothing but joy as she realizes she’s found toni’s weak spot.

 

cheryl. always cheryl, always…

 

_what if you die tonight, toni? what if she dies tonight? what if-_

 

“you did, didn’t you? you thought about her even as you were laying there, bleeding out with only the serpent king for company…oh, i can’t wait to do it again, toni. i can’t wait to watch the life leave your eyes and see you think about how you failed her…maybe i’ll give her a call, make her hear you choke on your own blood, make her hear you die slowly-.”

 

“ENOUGH, PENNY!” jughead roars, glancing at toni with worry as the bow trembles violently in her hands, and f.p grips her shoulder, forcing her to loosen her hold on the bow just a little as her chest heaves with panic and despair-

 

“calm down, toni…breathe in and out slowly, don’t let her get into your head, kid.” f.p murmurs, but toni can barely see through the blur of tears, the lump in her throat making it hard to do anything but attempt to swallow it down as she gasps for air.

 

how could penny be so cruel? god, the thought of cheryl having to hear that-

 

_it’s not gonna happen, toni. it’s not gonna happen, stay fucking focused and none of that will happen!_

 

“no deal, penny! you want the serpents dead so badly, then fine! hit us with your best shot! but don’t think we’re going to go down so goddamn easily! this is _our_ home, and if you’re willing to suffer the consequences of taking a life on uktena land, then by all means…we’re standing right here, united as always!” jughead calls out, his voice surprisingly calm and clear for someone who’s just fucking declared war.

 

toni’s heart is pounding so hard and so goddamn fast, and she glances behind her to see the serpents preparing for a fight as well, brass knuckles covering hands and chains swinging, and she’s so thankful that this time around, they’re more better prepared, but she doesn’t want this to happen here…not here…not now when she doesn’t know what’s happening with cheryl-

 

“you’re really going to cause a full out war just to save that red haired boy, jughead? and i thought maybe you would actually be a smarter leader than your father…” penny says with a scoff of disbelief, looking to f.p, who simply grins and claps his son’s shoulder proudly.

 

“my boy knows what loyalty means, unlike you. i really can’t believe you’re going this far to get revenge on us for kicking you out, penny…” he murmurs. penny’s grin immediately fades, her jaw clenching as her lip curls in disgust and she glares at f.p with hatred.

 

“you kicked me out because you were afraid of me!” she snarls, and f.p glares at her with equal amounts of anger and disgust.

 

“i kicked you out when i came back because i discovered what you were going to do with jughead if he took your deal to help get me out of prison! you think i don’t know that you planned on having my case fall through, planned on having jughead get caught selling _your_ drugs so that he’d end up in a jail cell right beside me?! i know what you were planning, penny, and lucky for me, you never got the goddamn chance to see it through! i kicked you out because you were going to betray us all long before the ghoulies became an option! you’re nothing but a liar and a thief!” f.p growls angrily, malice dripping in his tone as penny’s eyes widen, taking in his words with shock.

 

clearly, she didn’t realize f.p knew of her plans.

 

and with the way everyone else is staring at f.p in shock, no one else did either. 

 

so that’s why penny’s got such a vendetta against them, against f.p and jughead…because the former serpent king kicked her out of the crew for attempting to stab him in the back from the get go…

 

god, if cheryl hadn’t decided to forgive f.p and talk to the judge, god only knows where they’d all be right now…

 

cheryl blossom saved the goddamn southside serpents without even realizing it before she had even become one.

 

_and she did it for you, toni, remember? she forgave f.p so he could keep you safe, god…no wonder he’s so protective of you, no wonder he got so pissed at jughead when you got stabbed…he’s gonna make sure that promise is fulfilled no matter what because if it wasn’t for her…there would be no southside serpents right now…_

 

penny stares at f.p for a long time, the both of them in this silent exchange of glares and expressions that tell a story of nothing but betrayal, anger, and grief before she finally responds. 

 

“so you’re really not gonna take my deal?” penny says in a low voice, turning her gaze to jughead now, and when the serpent king doesn’t answer, she simply purses her lips and nods once.

 

“so be it.” she whispers, any traces of her usual humor gone as she looks to the ghoulies behind her.

 

toni grips the bow tighter just as penny whistles loudly, and the ghoulies begin stalking forward, clutching their weapons and growling under their breaths eagerly before they break out into a run-

 

before toni can even think, she lets the arrow fly, the force of it whipping past her cheek, and it misses her target of penny, the woman moving too fast for it to catch her, and sinks into the leg of a ghoulie behind her, the boy falling to his knees in pain as penny falters for just a moment before she runs straight for her-

 

toni growls and hooks the bow back over her body, knowing she doesn’t have time to nock another arrow as penny brandishes the pocket knife in her hand with a growl-

 

“TONI!”

 

f.p runs forward without hesitation and tackles penny to the ground, the woman groaning in pain as jughead rushes to his father, and toni hears her name once more, spins around quickly and sees sweet pea and fangs fighting three different ghoulies while her grandfather stumbles back helplessly, looking around in shock and horror-

 

“GRANDPA!” toni runs forward, forgetting the fight with penny, jughead and f.p for now and reaching for her grandfather desperately. she grips his hand in her own as he looks up at her with a wince.

 

“i’m fine-.” he tries to say through gritted teeth, but toni growls and begins tugging him away from the fight, desperately trying to get him back to one of the trailers surrounding them, but she’s scared to put him there. if the ghoulies made true on their promise and tried to burn down the trailers with him inside-

 

but where the fuck else is there? oh god, oh god-

 

“toni!” she turns at the sound of her name, watches as f.p rushes toward her quickly, gripping her by the elbow of her serpent jacket and tugging her back before he shakes his head and breathlessly looks all around them at the fight that’s quickly escalating, shouts of pain and anger and bats swinging and chains slamming to the ground-

 

“i’ve got your grandfather, don’t worry! look…” f.p looks around wildly before his eyes land on the ladder on the side of one of the trailers that leads to the roof of it. he purses his lips and nods, sweat dripping down his brow as he grips toni’s shoulders and looks her in the eyes anxiously.

 

“get up there and keep shooting those arrows, i want you as far away from this fight as possible!” he hisses under his breath quickly. toni looks at him in complete and utter shock.

 

“what? i can fight-.”

 

“you’re still injured, toni, and i made a promise to that girlfriend of yours that i was gonna do everything in my power to keep you safe for as long as i’m alive! get your ass up there and fire those arrows! i’ve got thomas, alright? go!” he growls, pushing her lightly toward the ladder, and toni hesitates, looking back at her grandfather. 

 

he’s breathing so heavily, he can’t handle this-

 

“go, little bird!” he croaks out, and toni blinks back her tears before she grips the rungs of the ladder and begins making her way up them slowly.

 

she doesn’t want to leave him behind, but fuck, what choice does she have right now? 

 

is she ever going to get a say in what fucking happens tonight? 

 

_please, please, let everyone i love get through this night in one piece, i can’t…i’m not strong enough to handle this right now…_

 

toni exhales shakily, her hands scrambling on the top of the roof of the trailer before she pushes herself up and heads to the front of the trailer, boots clomping on the metal loudly. she pauses right before she reaches the windshield of the trailer, observing the complete and utter chaos below her. it’s a full blown war, screams of pain and anger echoing out in the night sky around her, and toni licks her dry lips and swallows thickly before pulling the bow up off her body and nocking an arrow into it with shaking hands.

 

“come on, toni, focus…” toni breathes, pulling the bow taut and scanning her eyes over the crowd of bodies below her. she can barely tell the serpents from the ghoulies apart, everything is just a fucking blur of black leather jackets, but she spots a black mop of hair just beside the trailer she’s standing on and hears the familiar sound of sweet pea yelling as he punches a ghoulie in the face, and her eyes catch movement to his side that he doesn’t see-

 

toni takes a deep breath in and exhales before she lets go, and the arrow shoots down and sinks right through the ghoulie’s shoulder, a scream of pain echoing out in the night sky as he falls to his knees. sweet pea pauses before he looks around, his eyes landing on toni on top of the trailer, and he gives her a thumbs up before he’s moving on to the next ghoulie. toni doesn’t waste time, pulling another arrow out of the quiver and placing it in the string before pulling it, and it’s almost comforting, having the bow with her.

 

it feels like cheryl is right beside her, urging her on, telling her to breath, to inhale and exhale slowly, to relax her shoulders but keep her biceps firm…

 

she lets the arrow fly once more, and it sinks into the grass instead of making contact with the ghoulie she’s aiming at. 

 

“fuck!” she curses under her breath and goes to put another arrow into place, panic slowly beginning to rise in her as the screams and shouts get louder and louder around her-

 

something red flashes above her over the horizon, catching her attention, and toni pauses for a moment, looking up with a frown to observe what it is.

 

it looks like flames. she can see the black plumes of smoke beginning to rise and curl into the sky once more, and suddenly…

 

suddenly she’s hit with a wave of déjà vu.

 

_she watches the smoke curl up into the sky from the northside of riverdale with a frown as she stands up from the seat of her bike, a cloud of smoke escaping her mouth from the cold air as she shrugs her leather jacket around her body to keep herself warm…the fire looks big, way too big to be something small like a forest fire of some sort…it must be a house, a house on the northside that’s burning…_

 

a fire. a fire over the horizon, in the exact same spot she saw one the night uncle jake had his seizure and she ended up in the hospital with him.

 

a fire on the northside…the same goddamn spot that there was a fire the night cheryl was in the hospital too, with her mother suffering third degree burns-

 

a fire that looks like it’s taking place way too close to the blossom estate…in almost the exact same spot that thornhill burned…

 

no…no, no, no, it can’t be, it’s not the blossom estate, it can’t be, it mustn’t be, no, please-

 

“no, no, no, please, please, it can’t be, please…” toni breathes, watching as the fire only grows larger and larger, more smoke curling up into the sky, and toni is frozen for just a beat longer before she runs straight back for the ladder, bile in the back of her throat as she climbs down it so fast, she almost stumbles and falls off it completely at least twice.

 

_it can’t be the blossom estate, please don’t let it be the blossom estate, cheryl, cheryl, **cheryl-**_

 

not this…not now, she can’t, please, please-

 

she runs straight towards jughead’s bike in her delirium, not even thinking about the fact that she doesn’t have the keys and that she’s in the middle of a fucking turf war right now, all she can think about is getting her hands on some fucking transportation and getting to the fucking blossom estate right fucking now- 

 

something hard makes contact with the side of her body, slamming into the wounds at her side, and she slams into the ground with a grunt and a cry of pain before penny peabody’s voice echoes in her ear.

 

“got you!” she growls wickedly, cackling as toni scrambles to push her off desperately with a loud whine of pain, tears falling into her hair because no, no, she needs to get to the blossom estate-

 

“if your…little girlfriend…hadn’t have forgiven him…this wouldn’t have happened…” penny growls between pants for air as toni continues trying to fight her off, the bow digging into her back painfully as penny straddles her lap and pins her arms down with her knees. she raises the knife in her hands and holds it to toni’s neck, the girl instantly freezing beneath her as her heart pounds against her chest, a whimper of panic escaping her before she can stop herself as penny grins and laughs loudly above her.

 

_not again, not now, please, i have to get to cheryl-_

 

“let’s take a look at my work, shall we?” she teases, moving the knife down flatly between toni’s breasts and causing the girl to completely freeze up in fear before she’s hooking it beneath the hem of her shirt and raising it up to expose the scars on toni’s side.

 

toni lets out a whimper, tries desperately to swallow it down with no use as penny hums, her eyes trailing down toni’s body until she’s gazing at the slightly raised skin that’s a few shades darker than toni’s caramel skin, and god, toni is trying so goddam hard to get her off, but penny’s knees are digging into her wrists, and it hurts so fucking badly-

 

_cheryl…there’s a fire, i have to get to her, please-_

 

“mmm, it’s like artwork, smurfette. my own personal canvas, you are…” penny murmurs, her fingers brushing over the scars on toni’s side and causing goosebumps to immediately crawl all over her skin as she grits her teeth and glares up at penny with nothing but disgust.

 

penny’s returning smile is as sadistic as ever.

 

“maybe i’ll send you back to cheryl with a few more scars, huh? mark you as mine…show her whose bitch you really are.” penny murmurs, leaning down as her nails dig into toni’s scars harshly.

 

toni lets out a loud wail of pain, unable to contain it as tears fall into her hair and her back arches off the grass, penny’s laughter mixing with her screams of anguish before she’s gripping toni’s chin and forcing her to look right into her eyes.

 

“it hurts, doesn’t it?! come on, smurfette, tell me how much it hurts you! look!” penny forces her head to the side, cackling as toni’s eyes land on the smoke billowing up from the northside, from what she suspects is thistlehouse, their home, their fucking home, _CHERYL-_

 

she thrashes underneath penny, unable to contain her loud sobs of anguish at the sight as penny scratches at her scars, letting out the filthiest moan as if she’s getting off on the torture she’s putting toni through, and maybe she is, the complete and utter fucking _trash_ that she is-

 

“you can watch her burn while you feel every inch of what i’m doing to you! god, i hope f.p’s watching me hurt one of his own like this, you’re at my fucking mercy now, topaz, do you hear me!?” penny hisses into her ear, grabbing a fistful of her hair and pushing her face further to the side into the grass, and god, toni feels her tongue sliding from her jawline up over her face as she screws her eyes shut and silently begs for someone to help her, anyone-

 

_someone get this fucking bitch off me, i need to get to cheryl…god, cheryl, please, please hang on baby, please-_

 

“she’s probably burning in that fire right now, begging for you to save her, but you can’t, can you? because you're _mine_ , smurfette. maybe i’ll take you back to the southside, chain you up on the ground like a dog and let my ghoulies have their way with you, and if that bitch of a girlfriend of yours is miraculously still alive? i’ll just grab her too, put her right down beside you, make you watch each other suffer-.”

 

it’s strange, how quickly things can change at the drop of a single word or sentence.

 

penny utters those words, and toni finds nothing but rage and anger flooding her as penny shifts her hips slightly and the pressure lifts off toni’s thighs-

 

her knee bends and she swings it up, slamming right into penny’s spine and causing the woman to gasp in pain as she falls forward, her knees buckling off to the sides, and toni’s now free arms wrap around the woman’s back before she’s spinning them around and pinning the blonde woman down to the ground instead, knees digging into penny’s forearms before she raises her fists-

 

that topaz anger her uncle was so famous for rises in her heart and explodes throughout her entire body.

 

one punch turns into two, turns into three, turns into four-

 

over and over again, toni slams her fist down into every inch of penny’s face she can reach, screams of anguish and fear and pain, god, so much _pain_ escaping her, pain over everything this snake of a woman has done to the serpents, anger over what she did to toni, stabbing her and leaving her for dead, and god, anguish for what her actions did to cheryl, her cheryl-

 

her cheryl who is stuck with her homicidal, sadistic mother right now, a fire burning at their home, and this vile, piece of shit beneath her knows, she knows what penelope has planned-

 

“WHAT IS SHE DOING TO CHERYL!?” toni screams, grabbing penny by the lapels of her jacket and pulling her up as the woman chokes on her own blood and whimpers beneath her before she’s grinning maniacally up at toni with blood stained teeth and a swollen eye-

 

“TELL ME!” toni roars, shaking penny with blurred vision and trembling hands as the woman laughs and spits out blood right at toni’s face with ferocity.

 

toni doesn’t even flinch as the blood lands on her face, she just growls and raises her fist once more until penny swallows loudly.

 

“she’s-gonna-b-bring an end t-to the b-blossom f-family…once and f-for all-.” penny chokes out through the blood, her grin only widening as toni screams in complete and utter fear and despair and raises her fist once more-

 

cheryl’s dead or dying and toni’s not with her-

 

this is what if feels like. this is what it felt like for cheryl, oh fuck, fuck, fuck, no, this can’t be happening-

 

toni can’t think of anything else to do, the rage inside her too much now to be contained.

 

she punches penny once more, relishes in the way her bones crack beneath her knuckles as she throws her back down to the ground and continues pummeling into her with as much hatred and power as she can muster, content to kill her, to watch her die right now-

 

“TONI!” 

 

strong arms wrap around her chest and pull her back, and toni kicks and screams and tries her best to fight them off, because she wants penny dead, she wants her fucking _gone, and she’ll be the fucking one to do it, she doesn’t care-_

 

“YOU’RE NOT A MURDERER, ANT!”

 

that name… 

 

it’s thomas.

 

thomas’s voice in her ear brings a wave of calm crashing over her like a tidal wave, toni’s body sagging against him in defeat as choked out sobs escape her, and thomas simply holds her close and continues to whisper into her ear…

 

“you’re not a murderer, little bird…you’re not a killer…” he murmurs, his voice trembling as toni shakes violently in his arms with uncontainable sobs of pain and anguish.

 

“ch-cheryl, sh-she-.” she can’t even get the words out, her heart aching as she looks up to see the smoke on the northside has only gotten worse-

 

“RETREAT! RETREAT NOW!” toni hears someone scream, but she doesn’t know if it’s serpents or ghoulies, doesn’t care to check, she needs to get to the northside, she needs to get to cheryl-

 

“PENNY, COME ON!” 

 

toni draws in a shuddering, aching breath as her eyes focus on the sight in front of her.

 

malachai is grabbing penny by her jacket, dragging her through the grass, and toni can see that she’s breathing, but she’s barely conscious, whimpering in pain and choking on her own blood as two other ghoulies help malachai get her off the ground, the lot of them running off back to their cars and bikes by the bridge-

 

almost every single ghoulie is injured, limping away and clutching their injuries as thomas’s grip on toni begins to slacken slightly.

 

“AND STAY THE FUCK AWAY!” toni hears sweet pea yell from somewhere behind her, and toni’s seconds away from pulling herself out of thomas’s grip and running to sweet pea to get him to drive her to thistlehouse-

 

it’s then that it starts to dawn on her, the way thomas is drawing in shuddering breaths, the way he’s stumbling back, the way his face is screwed up in pain before his hand clutches his chest-

 

“GRANDPA!” toni immediately grips his shoulders as he falls to his knees, gasping in these horrible, sucking breaths that _sound_ painful, and toni keeps screaming, her throat aching and her whole body trembling before the other serpents begin to gather around the last remaining elder in shock and horror-

 

“GET BACK, GET BACK!” toni hears f.p scream, but toni only has eyes for her grandfather, tears falling down her face as thomas looks up at her with a loud gasp and raises a trembling hand to brush away her tears-

 

"remember...the wolf...the wolf, little bird..." thomas gasps out, the smallest smile lighting up on his face as toni's bottom lip trembles and she lets out a loud wail-

 

“HELP ME! SOMEONE, PLEASE!” toni screams at the top of her lungs, looking around at the other serpents in desperation before f.p hooks his arms underneath thomas’s armpits and attempts to lift him up.

 

“he’s having a heart attack, we’ve gotta get him to the hospital! andre! bring your truck around, now!” f.p roars, looking to sweet pea’s father anxiously, and toni jumps up, her mind racing and her heart pounding against her chest painfully-

 

this is too much. it’s too much, too much is happening, she can’t _do this-_

 

“thomas, stay with me! you’re not dying tonight, old man, not on my watch!” f.p growls, dragging the serpent elder along before jughead, sweet pea and fangs all scramble to help him, toni watching them to so helplessly with her knees buckling and her heart aching and her mind spinning at a million miles an hour.

 

this is too much…

 

_no more pain…please god, no more pain…_


	20. as long as she lives

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I PROMISE THIS IS THE LAST SAD CHAPTER.
> 
> that being sad, don't kill me, i've lost count of how many times i've sad that now hahahahah kay bye *runs away*
> 
> you can yell at me on twitter at @endofdaysforme, or you can leave a comment! <3 we're so close to the end guys! :(

“can i go now, please?”

 

cheryl fidgets on top of her hospital bed, her shoulder aching as she tries to ignore the burn in her throat from each word she speaks, watching as doctor connors finishes picking off the remnants of her jeans that had been melted into her skin before he begins examining the burn on her leg with a frown, a stern gaze thrown up in her direction. 

 

“cheryl, you’ve asked me that at least ten times since you got here half an hour ago. you’re not going anywhere, you have second degree burns to your left hand and right thigh, a traumatic head wound, a concussion, a dislocated shoulder and a severe case of smoke inhalation. you’re staying put for at least the next few days, now try to relax and keep that oxygen mask on your face.” 

 

cheryl bites down on her bottom lip, hissing at the tug behind her from the doctor currently stitching up the gash to the back of her head as she winces and looks to doctor connors pleadingly just as he begins applying cream to the burn soothingly, cheryl not able to feel anything he’s doing to her due to the morphine.

 

she can’t stay here, she needs to get to the lakeside urgently-

 

“you don’t understand, toni’s out there and i don’t know if she’s okay, i have to get to her-.”

 

“i understand the severity of the situation, cheryl, but i’m your doctor and you’re my patient, so when i say you’re not going anywhere, _you’re not going anywhere._ is that understood?” 

 

cheryl hesitates, torn between what she should do and what she wants to do, her head pounding and her lungs squeezing painfully before she sighs and pulls the oxygen mask around her neck back up over her face, closing her eyes and breathing in deeply. she knows he’s right, she knows…she can’t do a single thing with all these injuries, she’s pretty much useless right now, but that doesn’t mean she won’t fight tooth and nail to get out of here and _find toni._

 

she’s already lost so much tonight, if she loses toni as well…

 

she blinks back her tears, swallowing thickly as doctor connors lets out a sigh of relief before she hears the sound of something being cut behind her head.

 

“all done! we’re lucky we managed to stop the bleeding…your blood test results should come back soon, if that oxygen mask stops helping and you feel your throat closing up even more, tell us. we may need to intubate you. i already checked and your airways are miraculously open, but that may change, so please, tell us if it does.” the doctor behind her says with a frown, and cheryl swallows down her panic as best she can, wincing at the ache in her throat before she nods once to show she understands. 

 

her chest is hurting more than anything, her lungs squeezing painfully with each breath, and god, cheryl can’t believe that this has happened…that any of what’s happened tonight has occurred. she feels like she’s living a goddamn fever dream…none of this can be real.

 

as soon as the second doctor is gone, cheryl winces as she adjusts herself in her bed and feels her shoulder burn from the action before she looks down at doctor connors, who finishes off applying a bandage over her burn with a deep sigh.

 

“your own mother…” he grumbles, shaking his head in disbelief, and cheryl closes her eyes, refuses to break down right now over the thought of penelope blossom and what she did tonight before she opens them and slips the gas mask off her face once more.

 

“doctor connors-.”

 

“cheryl, for the love of god…” doctor connors sighs in frustration and stands, and before cheryl can ask him what he’s doing, he’s reaching up and placing the gas mask back over her face sternly.

 

“you take that thing off one more time and i’ll tape it to you. smoke inhalation is no joke, cheryl, if your airways close, you could _die._ i understand you’re concerned for toni, but you’re playing with your life right now. _keep that mask on._ ” he says firmly, but not unkindly, and cheryl blinks back her tears, realizes there’s nothing she can do right now to convince him to let her go before she sinks back into her bed with a sigh.

 

_please let toni be okay, that’s all that matters…just let her be okay…_

 

“is my nana alright? is lisa? what about kevin and mr. keller-.” she starts, her voice hoarse and slightly muffled by the mask, but the ache in her chest becomes too much, a coughing fit quickly taking over before doctor connors sighs and moves around to her dislocated shoulder.

 

“i’ll check on them as soon as i set this shoulder of yours.” he murmurs, gripping her shoulder and feeling around it, poking and proding and making cheryl hiss in pain through the mask currently providing her with air before he frowns and nods to himself.

 

“feels like a clean dislocation…take a deep breath in, alright? exhale when i tell you to.” cheryl glares up at him before she does her best to inhale, her throat on fire as she holds it as best she can before doctor connors grips her shoulder tightly and nods.

 

“now.” she exhales slowly, and doctor connors grits his teeth and pulls firmly, a loud click echoing out as cheryl gasps in pain.

 

it’s like electricity sparking through her entire arm, the pain almost eclipsing anything else she feels right now before it turns into a dull ache, her body sagging in defeat against the bed as doctor connors grabs the sling resting on the table beside her bed and quickly loops it over cheryl’s non-injured shoulder, placing her arm carefully inside it as he does.

 

“good…better?” he asks. cheryl simply nods once, her eyes itching and burning as they droop tiredly, but her shoulder no longer aching as she feels something akin to pins and needles flood through her arm. doctor connors chuckles and glances up at her iv bag, a mixture of morphine and simple saline solution. 

 

“when that empties, hit the call button. i’ll go check on your nana and your friends, alright? relax, cheryl, everything’s going to be okay…” doctor connors assures her with a smile, and cheryl can only nod, hoping he’s right as he takes his gloves off and makes his way to the door, throwing them in the bin as he does.

 

as soon as he’s gone, cheryl glances down at the bandaged burn taking up half her thigh, tears immediately welling before she looks down at her right hand currently in the sling, the bandages also covering the side of it down to the wrist to hide the hideous burns from view. 

 

her mother must be so happy right now, knowing the damage she’s caused…knowing she’s given cheryl more scars to add to the plethora she’s already obtained over her almost seveteen years of life because of that woman…

 

penelope blossom had disappeared from thistlehouse the second the firefighters and the ambulance had showed up, slinking into the shadows unnoticed by everyone else as they watched thistlehouse burn to the ground in a mixture of shock and horror, despair gripping cheryl so tightly even now as she remembers that the house she made a home with toni no longer exists…

 

cheryl has no idea where she is, where she’s gone, and she doesn’t want to know, either. penelope blossom is as dead to her as clifford and jason now. but the fact remains that right now, as of this moment…she’s homeless.

 

she and toni and nana rose are homeless. they have no clothes, no money, _nothing_ , and cheryl has absolutely no idea what to do to fix it.

 

she sniffs back her tears and glances at the door apprehensively, making sure no one is about to come in before she slowly pushes herself up off the bed. she reaches out and grips her iv stand with the oxygen tank attached to it, using it to lean forward until her feet are settled on the ground, and she grits her teeth and breathes in deeply before she stands and slowly makes her way to the corner of the room where her clothes are, the only clothes she now has left…a red leather serpent jacket that thankfully was untouched by the fire, ruined jeans and an equally ruined shirt. she winces with each step as her body throbs painfully, and it’s the burn on her thigh more than anything that aches, but cheryl simply pushes through it, refusing to let herself succumb to the pain.

 

after all, she’s been through far worse than this…

 

she lets go of the stand and grips her serpent jacket, reaching for the pocket and opening the zip before she takes out the photos of toni’s parents and the box with the blossom family ring inside it, examining them carefully for any signs of damage.

 

thankfully, everything is intact and perfect, not a single mark on the photos, cheryl smiling fondly at the image of toni’s parents staring back at her and little baby toni in their arms with a happy smile on her face…

 

she brushes her fingers over little toni’s face, sighing with worry before she carefully places everything back into the pocket and settles the jacket down onto the chair once more.

 

god, if there’s one thing about this hideous night that she’s thankful for, it’s that. she has the blossom family ring that she has every intention of giving toni, and she managed to save the photos her girlfriend cherished so much…those photos mean everything to toni, and cheryl knows it. 

 

now if only she could actually leave and _find_ her girlfriend…

 

worry grips cheryl once more, attaching to her like a disease as she begins pushing the stand back over to her bed, the world slightly spinning from exhaustion and fatigue and the number of injuries her body is currently trying to heal. 

 

is toni okay? are any of the serpents okay? what was happening at the lakeside? was anyone there safe? all of these questions that she doesn’t have answers to, and it’s driving her mad.

 

she should be with her family, helping to defend their home and instead, she’s stuck at the hospital because her sadistic, psychotic mother had succeeded in burning her goddamn house to the ground and had very almost succeeded in ending cheryl’s life as well.

 

_what i wouldn’t give to have not been born in the goddamn blossom family…_

 

but part of her feels horrible for thinking that way, because jason had come into this world with her as a blossom, and as much as her parents and god, even her nana now that she knows what she did to penelope, are fucked up beyond repair, jason was at least the one blossom, the one family member she had who wasn’t as cruel or as merciless as the rest of their family was.

 

she doesn’t know if it was his love for polly that made him a better man, but cheryl has no trouble admitting that she was once very much a part of _that_ version of the blossom family, very much a mean girl with a mean heart and no soul…

 

until toni topaz came along and swept her off her feet, showed her how to be the person she’s always dreamt of being, had pulled out that version of her that was kind and soft and filled with forgiveness instead of malice…her love for toni made her a better person.

 

and now that girl, that girl whose turned her life around…that girl’s life is threatened once again and cheryl is stuck here with no way of getting to her, too injured and beaten to even walk, let alone join a gang war and a fight that she has no doubt is happening right now at the lakeside.

 

_please let toni pull through this, please…_

 

she feels helpless all over again, just like the night toni got stabbed, waiting in this fucking hospital for word on her girlfriend’s condition, and it’s fucking _tearing her apart._

 

she settles back down onto the bed slowly, breathing in as much of the oxygen pumping through her mask as she can while trying her best not to choke on the sobs that are building in her chest. she needs to be strong right now, she needs to get _better_ so she can get the hell out of here and find toni…

 

she hears a soft knock at the door before it opens, and to her surprise, kevin keller walks in, an oxygen mask over his own face that he easily pulls away with a light cough and a warm smile.

 

“hey…doctor connors said you were asking about me.” he says softly, settling his gas tank by the door, and cheryl blinks back her tears of relief at the sight of the boy as she does nothing but pull her gas mask down and open her arms, leaning up off her bed as kevin sighs and makes his way over to her with a smile.

 

“i’m okay, cheryl. so is dad, and so is your nana, and lisa. i overheard the doctors saying she’s lucky to be alive. she escaped with barely any smoke inhalation, it’s a goddamn miracle.” kevin murmurs with a chuckle, immediately walking into her embrace and allowing her to cry into his shoulder as she clings to him tightly, but she lets out a hiccup of a laugh at his words before she swallows thickly with a shaky smile against his shoulder.

 

“she’s…gonna live forever.” she wheezes out, chuckling before she leans back into her bed and pulls the gas mask back over her face with a shaky hand. kevin laughs with her, and he sighs again before he leans in and grips cheryl’s non-injured hand in his own, his laughter quickly fading.

 

“everyone’s fine, cheryl, the only one who was really injured is you. how are you feeling?” kevin asks with worry, looking into cheryl’s eyes with concern. cheryl licks her lips and swallows thickly before she simply nods, taking a deep breath in from the mask and pulling it down to talk.

 

“i’m fine. in a bit of pain, but…kevin, thank you. thank you so much for saving my life-.”

 

“of course, cheryl. you don’t have to thank me for that at all, i’m just…i’m so sorry this happened. dad and i have spent the last half an hour trying to wrap our minds around everything…god, cheryl…i am so sorry about your home. i can’t help but feel like if dad and i had come sooner-.”

 

“no…” cheryl shakes her head immediately, squeezing his hand tightly before smiling at him as best she can through the tears that fall down her cheeks in thick streams, the pain in her heart causing it to pound painfully against her chest…

 

“it’s no one’s fault but penelope’s.” she breathes, placing the gas mask back on and deciding she shouldn’t take it off again, because her lungs are finally beginning to ache less and less the more she breathes in the oxygen from the mask, and she doesn’t want to jeopardize her healing anymore, not when toni is missing in action and she has no idea where she is and no way to get to her _because_ of these injuries…

 

the sooner she heals, the sooner she can get out there and _find toni-_

 

“MOVE, MOVE! GET A GURNEY!” 

 

cheryl frowns at the sound of loud voices and even louder footsteps, wondering what the hell is going on as kevin frowns and looks to the door to her room just as cheryl sees a blur of shadows pass by the windows, barely visible through the blinds that are half shut for her privacy.

 

“PLEASE, PLEASE HELP HIM! HE’S MY GRANDFATHER-.” 

 

the second that voice hits her ears, cheryl lets out a whine, her eyes wide as she looks at kevin before she goes to push herself off the bed with a grunt, reaching out for her iv stand before she simply grunts in frustration and reaches with her injured hand through the sling to grab the needle in her elbow, ripping it out-

 

“cheryl, stop!” kevin looks at her in shock, cheryl letting out a whimper at the immediate blood that drips down her elbow, but she doesn’t care, she doesn’t-

 

“cheryl, what are you doing-.”

 

“toni…it’s toni…” cheryl gasps out, pushing him back once again and ripping the gas mask off with a trembling hand, using every inch of strength she has left to rush towards the door, ignoring the way her body is throbbing as the ache and the panic in her heart takes over.

 

_toni, it’s toni, it’s toni, oh god-_

 

she throws the door open, wheezing at the ache that’s returning in her chest, glancing up and down the hallway, and she sees a flash of pink hair disappear around the corner to her right-

 

“toni-.” she chokes out, coughing at the pain in her throat before she’s running around the corner as fast as her stupid legs will carry her, kevin right behind her with his arms held out to catch her in case she falls.

 

“HANG ON, GRANDPA, JUST HANG ON!” cheryl hears toni scream, and god, the pain in her voice breaks her fucking heart-

 

it’s thomas, something’s happened to thomas, no, please not him-

 

she rounds the corner, and at the sight of toni’s trembling figure in the arms of f.p jones, her face buried in his chest as she sobs loudly. cheryl lets out a high pitched whine of relief and almost collapses to the ground, gripping the railing on the wall just in time, her elbow throbbing with pain from the needle that was ripped out…

 

_she’s okay, she’s safe, she’s **alive** , thank you, god-_

 

“cheryl!” 

 

her vision blurs slightly, the tears of pain, but also just utter relief falling down her cheeks as she sways and hears kevin call her name before he’s gripping her tightly to keep her upright, staring at her in shock, and at the sound of her name leaving kevin’s lips, toni pulls away from f.p and spins around, eyes wide and bloodshot and filled with her own tears-

 

“CHERYL!?”

 

toni’s running down the hallway as fast as she can as cheryl’s legs tremble once again, and she’s seconds from collapsing despite kevin’s firm grip on her, her teeth gritted in pain as she lifts her non injured arm regardless to welcome toni into her arms.

 

and welcome her she does.

 

the second toni reaches her, cheryl curls her non-injured arm around toni’s body, whimpering loudly with relief as toni slams into her lightly, loud sobs escaping the pink haired serpent as her one arm wraps around her waist and the other hand squeezes the back of her neck, heavy pants and sobs escaping the both of them, and god, toni’s squeezing her so tightly, cheryl feels like her body is in danger of being crushed-

 

“cheryl! oh god, b-baby, fuck, thank g-god you’re okay-.” toni chokes out, her hand gripping the back of cheryl’s hospital gown as the one at the back of her neck squeezes once more, and cheryl lets her tears fall freely as she grips the back of toni’s serpent jacket to pull herself up with her non-injured arm. she buries her face into toni’s hair, breathing in her scent, her mind spinning and her heart pounding as she presses her lips to toni’s neck and relishes in the thrumming of toni’s heartbeat against them.

 

_she’s alive, cheryl…she’s alive…_

 

“t-toni…are…are you-.” she coughs, her lungs squeezing and burning with fire, and toni pulls away, eyes roaming over cheryl’s arm stuck in a sling, the blood dripping down her elbow and the ragged breaths she’s drawing in-

 

“shh, shh, baby, you’re hurt! kevin, get a wheelchair! f.p, help me!” toni screams, turning to face the former serpent king somewhere down the hallway, and once again, loud footsteps echo out, cheryl’s attention so solely focused on toni, the blood marking her face, but she doesn’t look injured at all-

 

cheryl feels a strong hand gripping her non-injured shoulder-

 

“here, sit down, cheryl, come on!” f.p murmurs into her ear, slowly pulling her away from toni, and cheryl immediately scrambles to find her again, a soft cry of anguish escaping her at the idea of being separated from toni right now-

 

“i’m here, baby, i’m here!” toni breathes, moving around f.p and gripping her hand tightly as she’s pushed down blindly into a wheelchair behind her by f.p and kevin. toni immediately bends down beside her, a frown of panic on her face as she reaches out presses down on the wound in her elbow, eyes wide and filled with fear-

 

“what on earth? cheryl, you’re supposed to be resting!” cheryl hears doctor connors say to the left of her in frustration, the man appearing in her peripheral vision suddenly before he notices the lack of an iv stand and the thick blood dripping down her elbow between toni’s fingers…

 

“cheryl, did you rip your iv out?” he says in shock, and cheryl purses her lips, looks down at toni anxiously with tears falling down her cheeks, her lungs aching and squeezing with each breath.

 

“i…i heard her-.” she chokes out with a trembling bottom lip, a million questions on her mind, but god, if she isn’t thankful for toni’s hand in her own, that she’s here, that she’s alive, god, she’s _alive-_

 

toni whimpers and leans up quickly, gripping the armrest of the wheelchair and pulling herself as close as possible to cheryl before she kisses her brow fiercely, a hand curling around the back of cheryl’s neck to pull her even closer to her lips.

 

“you shouldn’t have ripped your iv out, baby, it’s dangerous…” she whispers against her skin, her hand still curled around her elbow, pressing down on the wound to stop the blood flowing as doctor connors sigh with exhaustion and runs his fingers through his hair with a shake of his head.

 

“you two are going to send me into early retirement…” he murmurs with a scoff of disbelief. cheryl blocks him out, just _stares_ at toni, drinks her in despite the tears falling down her face as toni does the same, eyes roaming over cheryl’s face, a hand brushing back her hair before her eyes travel down to take in the bandage on her thigh. her eyes widen before she looks up at cheryl with a whine sounding low in her throat, and she leans in to press another kiss to cheryl’s brow.

 

“what happened, baby?” toni whispers, pulling back and looking into cheryl’s eyes in despair before she looks down at the bandage on her thigh again, the hand around her elbow squeezing a little too harshly in her panic, and cheryl simply shakes her head, a choked out wheeze escaping her-

 

“alright, that’s enough, we need to get her back to her room right now, you two can talk in there.” doctor connors says firmly, nodding once to kevin, who sighs loudly and grips the handles of the wheelchair cheryl’s bound to before he attempts to turn her around-

 

“my grandpa-.” toni hesitates, standing up and looking down the hallway with her back still crouched over so she can keep her hand on cheryl’s wound, and cheryl’s about to tell her to go to him, that she’ll be fine when f.p grips toni’s shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze, nothing but pain in his eyes as he attempts to give her a reassuring smile.

 

“i’ve got him, kid, i’ll keep you updated, you stay with cheryl.” he says firmly, and before toni or cheryl can say anything, he’s taking off down the hallway, desperate to get back to the serpent elder who could be dying right now…

 

what happened? did the ghoulies get to him? oh god, why wasn’t cheryl _there-_

 

doctor connors sighs, motioning to kevin to wheel cheryl back towards her room, and toni moves around with her goddamn hand still wrapped around cheryl’s elbow, refusing to leave her girlfriend’s side, and cheryl feels nothing but guilt flood through her.

 

_no, toni should be with her grandfather, with thomas, i’m fine, i’m okay-_

 

“cheryl, do not leave this room again, do you hear me? don’t force me to get the hand straps to tie you down to it.” doctor connors says firmly, smiling at toni, who finally lets go of cheryl’s elbow and opens the door for them. cheryl swallows thickly at the way toni’s hands are covered in blood, and kevin wheels cheryl toward the bed before he helps her stand up off the chair, blood dripping down onto the tiled floor as soon as she stands. 

 

“fuck, cheryl…” toni sighs, her hand reaching out to curl around cheryl’s elbow once more, but doctor connors moves to the other side of the bed and helps kevin ease cheryl back onto her bed slowly, cheryl trying her best to keep breathing steady despite the panic and fear gripping her.

 

and she’s not the only one.

 

toni moves to a paper towel dispenser in the corner of the room, grabbing a bunch of them and cleaning her hands of cheryl’s blood with wide eyes and a clenched jaw, and cheryl whimpers as doctor connors moves to the kit in the corner of the room and grabs out a bunch of things, resting them on the part of the bed cheryl’s body is not resting on before he immediately gets to work stopping the bleeding in her inner elbow.

 

“gas mask.” he grunts out, using his free hand to reach out and grab it before he hands it to kevin, who hooks it over her face once more as cheryl groans in protest. 

 

“you need it, baby, shh…” toni says softly, making her way back over to cheryl and sitting down by her right hip even though she still doesn’t know what happened to cheryl in the first place. cheryl whimpers, trying to reach out for her with her injured arm, but the stupid sling prevents her from moving even an inch, and toni brushes her hair back from her face with a smile to give her some form of contact as kevin frowns and reaches out to grip toni’s shoulder.

 

“toni, is…is fangs okay?” kevin asks with a frown, his voice hoarse from his own smoke inhalation, but he’s breathing just fine on his own, cheryl notices begrudgingly for a brief moment before she’s looking to toni anxiously for answers just the same. toni lets out a shaky breath before she smiles and nods once.

 

“yeah, he’s okay…he stayed behind at the lakeside with sweet pea and jughead to check on the serpents and make sure there was no life threatening injuries, but i…i couldn’t leave my grandpa behind-.”

 

“g-go to him, t-toni. kevin’s with m-me, go check on h-him.” cheryl manages to get out, her voice slightly muffled by the gas mask as she winces at the ache in her chest, and toni immediately shakes her head, eyes wide and almost filled with fury at the very thought of her leaving cheryl right now.

 

“i’m not leaving you.” she says through gritted teeth. cheryl sighs loudly, and kevin smile with a chuckle before he looks to cheryl and leans in to press a kiss to her hair.

 

“i’ll be right outside, okay? call me if you need me.” he whispers, pulling away from cheryl and looking to toni just the same. toni purses her lips and nods, thanking him before he smiles and makes his way to the door, grabbing his oxygen tank as he does. as soon as he’s gone, toni’s eyes roam over cheryl’s face softly before doctor connors suddenly sighs loudly, and cheryl looks down to see her elbow all bandaged up with gauze, wincing as he looks up at her and shakes his head.

 

“never in my life…two worst patients…so worried about each other they don’t even look after themselves…” he grumbles, and toni chuckles with a sniff to relinquish tears as he stands and goes to the kit in the corner of the room once again, grabbing another needle of what cheryl thinks is morphine, because he has a bag of saline solution in his hand as well. he begins setting it up quickly, and cheryl looks away, chooses instead to stare into toni’s eyes, to relish in the reality that toni is here, is alive, isn’t in danger anymore-

 

at least she _hopes_ that’s the case…

 

_god, what happened at the lakeside? why is thomas hurt?_

 

her girlfriend smiles before she leans in and brushes cheryl’s hair from her face with a sad look in her eyes. toni shuffles closer, her eyes falling on the bandage on her thigh before she’s brushing her thumb over the top of it gently, the action somehow making cheryl feel a little better as she sinks back into her bed and closes her eyes.

 

“what happened, cher?” toni murmurs, looking up at her in despair and leaning in a little closer, brushing cheryl’s hair away from her face gently once more. cheryl licks her lips before she opens her eyes and lets out a shaky sigh. 

 

toni shouldn’t be here, she should be with her grandfather…

 

“go…go to thomas, i’m okay-.” she wheezes, but toni shakes her head and rakes her fingers through cheryl’s hair, unable to grab either of her hands right now-

 

“you’re not okay, baby! i’m not leaving you, i…” the pain in toni’s eyes is too much for cheryl to take, and she can see how fucking torn she is right now, torn between staying here with cheryl and going to her grandfather, but toni doesn’t move an inch, keeps her fingers tangled in cheryl’s hair as her thumbs brush over either side of her neck, nails scratching at the baby hairs as she looks at her anxiously. cheryl’s eyes settle on the spots of blood on toni’s face, the scratch marks down her neck…

 

_someone hurt her again, someone fucking **touched** her-_

 

cheryl hisses suddenly, opening her eyes at the sudden pain to see doctor connors taping the needle down to the back of her hand, a rush of cold liquid flooding her veins as he shoots a needle of morphine into the iv bag with a sigh.

 

“toni, you make sure she stays here, or i’m gonna have nurses in here to strap her down to the bed, is that understood?” he demands. cheryl feels bile rise in the back of her throat, and toni knows _exactly_ what cheryl’s thinking about, because she makes eye contact with the girl before she glares at doctor connors angrily.

 

_“you think of your deviance, cheryl! you think of those horrible, horrible thoughts while you suffer.”_

 

“that won’t be necessary, doctor connors, she’ll stay put.” toni says through slightly bared teeth, and if doctor connors notices her hostily, he says nothing about it, just shakes his head before he gives cheryl another stern look before he’s making his way toward the door to leave. as soon as he’s gone, toni very visibly relaxes before she sighs and looks to cheryl, a smile playing on her lips as she reaches out to tuck a lock of hair behind cheryl’s ear.

 

“i won’t let them do anything like that to you, cheryl, i promise.” she croaks out. cheryl smiles through the gas mask, a tear falling down her cheek as her eyes burn, and toni returns her smile sadly before she lets out a shaky breath and inches even closer to cheryl, her hand reaching out to curl around the wrist of cheryl’s non-injured hand, being careful with the needle at the back of it as she does.

 

“cher…what happened?” toni whispers, licking her lips and staring at cheryl patiently, taking in all her girlfriend’s injuries with so much confusion, and the red haired girl whimpers before she swallows thickly.

 

she has to tell her, she knows she does, but god…she doesn’t want to see the pain in toni’s eyes when she does…her grandfather is already sick and possibly dying…

 

“mother, she…she locked lisa out and put…nana rose in her room…thistlehouse…” cheryl’s voice breaks, her throat aching as she wheezes in another deep breath, her lungs aching, but getting better with each breath of pure oxygen from the mask…

 

she can’t tell her, she can’t…she can’t tell her that the home they have, the home they’ve made out of thistlehouse is gone forever…can’t tell her that because of her, toni’s lost _everything…_

 

“toni…” cheryl whimpers, tears falling down her cheeks rapidly as toni’s bottom lip trembles again, tears falling down her own face as she seems to piece together what’s happened in that brilliant, beautiful mind of hers that cheryl loves so much…

 

_you have to tell her._

 

cheryl can’t keep the truth from her at the sight of the utter despair in toni’s face. she takes off her gas mask and tells her _everything_ , what happened the second she left pop’s diner and arrived at thistlehouse, how she told lisa to call kevin before she went inside, what her mother told her, about nana rose and how she was raised as a child bride to clifford, just…everything.

 

toni listens intently, and when cheryl’s about to tell her that thistlehouse is gone, her throat aches, throwing her into a coughing fit before toni’s grabbing the gas mask at her neck and placing it back over her face. she cradles cheryl’s face in her hands, thumbs stroking her cheeks underneath the straps of the gas mask tenderly as she gives her a watery, but tender smile.

 

“shh, shh, relax, baby…just breathe…” she whispers, and cheryl tries to so fucking hard, but it’s impossible, her whole body trembling and shaking with sobs as she looks up at toni in despair.

 

“it’s g-gone, toni! our h-home, everything w-we owned, sh-she b-burned it to the g-ground-.”

 

“shh, it’s okay, cher…it was just a house, okay? as long as you’re okay, that’s all that matters.” toni says hoarsely, leaning in closer and pressing a kiss between cheryl’s eyes as her thumbs keep stroking over her cheekbones. cheryl chokes on another loud sob, shaking her head against her girlfriend’s lips as her heart aches terribly.

 

she can feel the anguish and the grief coming off toni in waves, but regardless, toni leans back with a small smile, her fingers moving up to rake through cheryl’s hair gently and soothingly as she looks into her eyes with a shaky breath.

 

“we can build ourselves back up again, baby, please don’t cry…all i care about is that you’re okay, i don’t give a shit about clothes or anything else, as long as _you’re_ okay…” toni croaks out, and cheryl exhales deeply into the gas mask before she nods slowly, looking up at toni with nothing but sadness in her eyes before she licks her lips and looks over at her serpent jacket.

 

she saved one thing…she did, she saved one thing, she has to give toni some hope right now…

 

“my…my jacket, t.t…grab it for me?” she whispers. toni smiles and nods before she leans up and kisses her temple, sighing as she makes her way over to the corner of the room where her clothes are. cheryl sees her wince at the sight of her burned jeans and shirt before the girl grabs her red serpent jacket and makes her way back to cheryl, plopping down beside her with a tired sigh. 

 

cheryl reaches into the pocket with a shaking hand, trying to pull the zipper down, and toni chuckles before she helps her, nimble fingers opening the zip before cheryl reaches inside and pulls out the photos of her parents.

 

“i s-saved these…” she gasps, looking up at toni with a smile and breathing in the burst of oxygen that escapes the gas mask shakily as toni looks down at the photos with a frown before her eyes widen, lips parted in complete and utter shock…

 

“baby, i…” she breathes, taking the photos from cheryl’s hand and looking down at the photos of her parents with a trembling bottom lip. she brushes her fingers over the photos, much like cheryl did earlier before she looks up at her girlfriend with tears falling down her face.

 

“cheryl…fuck, _thank you._ ” toni whimpers, leaning in and pressing a long, lingering kiss to cheryl’s forehead. the red head’s eyes flutter closed happily, a smile taking over her face before she opens them to see toni’s still crying, looking down at the photos in despair…

 

her grandfather…the only person she has left, the only family-

 

“thomas…” cheryl croaks out. toni’s eyes fill with even more tears, a soft whine escaping her before she licks her lips and nods, placing the photos back into one of the pockets of her serpent jacket and looking up at cheryl with a shaky sigh before she begins talking.

 

“the ghoulies were all over the lakeside when jughead and i got there. they were in a stand-off with the serpents, and they were waiting for jughead to get there. there was a lot of shit talking, mostly…m-mostly penny trying to goad me into starting the fight, saying shit about the stabbing, and about you, but i…i didn’t let her win. and she got frustrated and then…a fight just broke out. we managed to keep them back, didn’t let them get _close_ to touching any of the trailers, and i used the bow and arrows to take as many of them down as i could…but when i saw the fire, i just…fuck, cheryl, i just _knew_ , and i was running to jughead’s bike to g-get to you, and…penny, she t-tackled me to the ground, and she f-forced me to look at the fire, kept telling me i c-could w-watch you d-die, and i just…lost it. i attacked her, cher, i…i almost k-killed her, but grandpa, he pulled me off her, t-told me i wasn’t a k-killer, and the ghoulies retreated, but grandpa…he j-just started h-having a h-heart attack-.” toni’s words escaped her in a jumbled and messy rush, her whole body trembling before she buries her face into her hands and begins sobbing loudly.

 

cheryl processes her words, feels her own heart ache at the idea of thomas in such a goddamn precarious position right now before she forces herself to be strong for toni, sitting up as best as she can and pulling her girlfriend to her chest with her non-injured hand by the lapels of her jacket, worry and panic gripping her over the serpent elder.

 

god, he can’t die, they can’t lose him, _toni_ can’t lose him…

she wraps her un-injured arm around toni’s shoulders, the morphine beginning to kick in now as her body feels weightless to any pain, and she’s thankful, because toni just falls forward and buries her face into cheryl’s chest, crying loudly and gripping her hospital gown between her fingers as cheryl soothes her hand up and down her back slowly with soft, nonsensible words and adjusts the arm in the sling out from under toni’s body with a wince.

 

cheryl has no words, doesn’t know how to begin to comfort her girlfriend, just holds her close and tries to keep breathing herself as they both just…cry. a few moments pass before cheryl sniffs back her tears and uses her free hand to run her fingers through toni’s hair. the pink haired serpent looks up at her with a sniff, eyes red and bloodshot and puffy, and cheryl’s heart fucking _aches_ at the sight, but she still cradles toni’s cheek in her hand, forcing her to look up into her eyes before she lets her go and pulls the gas mask down from her face.

 

“go, toni. go be with him…” she croaks out, not wanting to keep toni from the only goddamn living family member she has left any longer, but once again, toni’s eyes widen before she shakes her head furiously.

 

“cheryl, i’m not leaving you-.”

 

“i’m okay, t.t. i-.” 

 

“cheryl, don’t! don’t tell me you’re okay! i’m not leaving, alright? f.p’s with him, he’ll give me updates! so just… _stop._ just stop telling me to go, because i’m not going to, okay? every time i fucking leave you, something bad happens to one of us, and i _won’t_ let that happen again!” toni cries out, her voice hoarse from her tears before she goes to grab the gas mask to put it back over cheryl’s face, but cheryl lets out a whimper and grips her wrist to stop her, smiling sadly before she licks her lips and lets out a shaky breath. 

 

“i love you, toni.” she whispers. toni looks into her eyes before she leans up and kisses cheryl deeply, the red haired girl whining and pulling her closer as tears fall down her cheeks before toni suddenly pulls away and grips the gas mask to place it back over her face with a sad smile.

 

“i love you, too. so please let me look after you right now. stop taking the mask off, just , baby. please, just breathe.” toni whispers back.

 

god, the desperation in her voice…

 

cheryl closes her eyes, lets the tears clinging to her eyelashes fall before she nods and sinks back into her bed, and toni smiles shakily before she moves off the bed and grabs the chair in the corner, dragging it beside cheryl’s bed and falling down into it with a tired sigh. cheryl whimpers and reaches for her hand, craving contact with her, and toni instantly complies, leaning over the chair to grip her hand gently so she doesn’t disturb the needle in the back of it. 

 

cheryl notices the blood still staining toni’s knuckles, the way they’re swollen and flared up, every inch of skin black and blue, and she swallows thickly and looks up at toni anxiously, sees the pink haired serpent notice her gaze before she sighs and clenches her jaw.

 

“i…i lost control, cher. she was saying all these things about you, and threatening you and i…i couldn’t _stop._ ” toni says hollowly, her eyes distant, and cheryl feels panic rise in her, heart pounding against her chest as she grips toni’s hand tighter with a deep wheeze.

 

she didn’t…she can’t have, toni’s not…she’s not a killer-

 

“toni…d-did you-.” she chokes out, but toni catches on immediately, her bottom lip trembling before she simply shakes her head once.

 

“n-no…but i got close.” she whispers in horror. 

 

cheryl’s heart stops.

 

_oh god…oh god, she almost killed penny…_

 

she swallows down the lump in her throat, watches as toni clenches her jaw before she looks up at cheryl with tears in her eyes.

 

“i…i was gonna kill her, cheryl. i really was, if grandpa hadn’t pulled me away, i swear…i would’ve _killed_ her. and i’ve never understood this…this fucking ‘topaz’ anger that everyone keeps talking about, that uncle jake was so famous for, but in that moment…in _that_ moment, cheryl, i _felt_ it. i wanted penny dead, and no one was gonna do it but _me._ ” toni says, her voice a combination of regret, but also pride, and fuck…

 

it scares the _living hell_ out of her.

 

“toni…” cheryl disentangles her hand from toni’s before she reaches up for gas mask to take it off, and toni makes a noise of protest, leaning up out of her seat to stop her, but cheryl shakes her head with a whimper, swallowing thickly before she looks up at toni with tears in her eyes.

 

“you’re not a killer, toni. do you hear me? you’re n-not. i understand, god…i understand more than anyone else, the anger you f-feel toward h-her for everything she’s d-done to you…but you’re not a k-killer. you’re not _her_ , babe, please…please d-don’t become her.” cheryl pleads desperately, more tears falling, and toni’s eyes widen before she jumps up from the chair and reaches out to rake her fingers through cheryl’s hair, her thumb brushing over the skin of her brow as she coos softly and shakes her head.

 

“n-no, cher, i…i _know_ that. i do, i promise, okay? i felt that anger, but i _hated_ it. i hated every goddamn second of it, cheryl, and i swear to you i will never, _ever_ succumb to it again. i…i’m not gonna lie to you and tell you i feel guilty for beating the goddamn shit out of her because i don’t, but…killing her, i…that’s not who i am and i know it.” toni croaks out.

 

cheryl lets out a soft moan of relief, smiling as she looks up at toni with nothing but love, and toni returns the same look, leaning in to press a kiss to cheryl’s brow to reassure her.

 

“i didn’t mean to scare you, baby.” she whispers against her skin. cheryl smiles and shakes her head, shifting under her lips to look up at her softly.

 

“you didn’t, t.t.” she breathes simply. toni smiles and leans down to kiss her lips softly before she sighs and grabs the face mask to put it back over her face once again.

 

“stop taking it off, or doctor connors is gonna kill me.” she mumbles sternly, and cheryl smiles, actually manages to chuckle a little as toni settles back down into her chair and grips her hand once more.

 

“do you want ice for your hands?” cheryl asks, voice muffled from the gas mask, and toni simply shakes her head and gives cheryl’s hand a gentle squeeze.

 

“i’ll go check with f.p in a few, see if there’s any updates and i’ll get some ice, i promise. right now i just…i just wanna focus on the fact that you’re alive and i haven’t lost you.” toni murmurs, leaning down to press a kiss to the palm of cheryl’s hand before she’s resting her chin on the railing of the bed with a smile, staring at cheryl with nothing but love and affection that cheryl easily and happily returns with a look of her own. 

 

truth be told, cheryl has no idea when they doze off, or how long they’re even asleep for.

 

one second she’s tearing her gaze away from toni’s and settling back against the pillows with a deep sigh, closing her eyes just for a moment and breathing in the oxygen that’s helping her lungs feel better with each passing minute, and the next…

 

the next there’s a soft knock at the door.

 

cheryl’s eyes blink open slowly, blearily, still itching, but not as bad as they were before, and she frowns before she looks down to see toni fast asleep with her head on cheryl’s hip, her brow slightly furrowed, but her face relaxed in its state of unconsciousness, her hand still gripping tightly in cheryl’s own.

 

cheryl can’t help but smile at the sight, her tongue darting out to wet dry lips before the door slowly opens, and she drags her eyes up from toni’s face to meet none other than f.p jones’s.

 

cheryl knows the second she makes eye contact with him.

 

his eyes are bloodshot, puffy and red as he sniffs once, and god, cheryl has never, ever seen f.p jones cry before, but right now…

 

tears are falling down his cheeks rapidly as he stares at cheryl with a slightly wobbling chin, his gaze falling down to toni’s prone, fast asleep body resting on top of her, and cheryl closes her eyes for just the briefest moment, begs to every god she knows that when she opens them, this will all be part of a dream…

 

but when she does, f.p is still there, and when cheryl lets out a soft whimper and shakes her head, refusing to believe it for a single second, f.p sighs and bows his head in defeat, a hand reaching up to run his fingers through his hair before he looks up at cheryl once more with nothing but grief.

 

“doctors did everything they could, but…too much damage.” he croaks out. 

 

cheryl feels toni shift in her sleep, a soft sigh escaping the pink haired serpent, and cheryl closes her eyes, lets her tears fall down the side of her face as she whines and lets her body tremble with anguish and despair.

 

f.p clears his throat audibly, and cheryl opens her eyes, watches as he pushes the door open a little more, but cheryl shakes her head at him and looks down at toni before she swallows down the fear and the panic and the sadness and the million other emotions going on in her brain right now.

 

toni needs to hear it from her…so she doesn’t freak out, so she doesn’t panic…

 

“i’ll tell her. stay close.” cheryl manages to get out, her voice slightly muffled by the mask around her face, but f.p seems to understand, because he purses his lips and nods before he stays by the door, watching anxiously as cheryl lets out a shaky breath. she gently pulls her non-injured hand out of toni’s strong grip, the girl whining with a frown in her sleep before cheryl pulls the gas mask off her face and brings her hand down to rake her fingers through toni’s hair.

 

“toni…wake up, babe.” cheryl croaks out softly, her heart pounding against her chest, but she knows she has to do this…she has to calm toni down the second those words leave her lips…

 

toni fuzzes against her before she breathes in deeply and slowly blinks her eyes open, looking up at cheryl in confusion before she lets out a low whine of exhaustion.

 

“cher?” she whispers hoarsely, her voice thick with sleep, and god, cheryl tries her best to smile, but her lips are trembling, her whole body is…

 

“toni…” cheryl licks her lips, her eyes flicking up to meet f.p’s, and he wipes away his tears and gives her an encouraging nod and an equally encouraging smile, the message he’s trying to give her clear as day.

 

_she needs to know…_

 

“toni, i…your grandfather, he’s…” cheryl can’t fucking get the words out, a whimper escaping her as toni frowns and sits up slowly, looking behind her at the sound of f.p shuffling his feet, and as soon as her eyes land on him, her gaze snaps back to cheryl, her eyes wide and filled with immediate panic.

 

“no…n-no, no, cher, don’t-.”

 

“toni, he’s…he’s gone, babe, i’m so s-sorry-.” cheryl sobs, her heart aching in the worst way possible as toni jumps up so violently, the chair falls backwards and collapses to the ground-

 

“no, i h-have to see him, i-.” toni runs straight for the door, and f.p grabs her and wraps his arms around her chest to stop her, the girl whining and growling as she struggles against him ruthlessly.

 

“let go of me-.”

 

“he’s gone, toni! there’s nothing you can do, kid…” f.p murmurs, his jaw clenching as toni sobs against him, turning in his arms and beating her hands against his chest-

 

“I HAVE TO SEE HIM, LET ME SEE HIM!” she screams, fighting against f.p’s hold on her with everything in her as cheryl sobs from the bed, unable to get up because of everything that’s attached to her, the threat of being strapped down to the bed looming over her mind, but god, does it matter when toni’s reacting like this, she needs to get out of this bed-

 

“toni!” her name escapes the red head in a choked out gasp as she pushes herself up off the bed, and toni stops struggling at the sound of cheryl’s voice, a whimper escaping her before she turns to face her girlfriend with f.p’s arms still wrapped around her tightly.

 

god, the look in her eyes…cheryl wants to scrub it clean from her mind, she hates it, never wants to see that look of complete and utter grief and anguish again-

 

“l-let me see him, ch-cher, p-please…” toni rasps, her chest heaving as thick tears stream down her face-

 

_fuck this._

 

cheryl grips the sling her arm is currently trapped in and pulls her arm out of it slowly, hissing in pain before she pulls it up and over her head, and toni’s whole body is shaking in f.p’s arms before she manages to tear herself out of them, running straight for cheryl-

 

cheryl opens her arms without hesitation, not carrying for a second about any of the pain in her body as toni collapses into them with the most heartbreaking cry cheryl’s ever heard in her entire life. 

 

cheryl wraps her arms around toni’s trembling body, her shoulder aching, but the morphine quickly stepping in to drown the pain out as she runs her fingers up and down toni’s back, over stitching of the green serpent on her jacket as toni cries into her chest loudly.

 

“it’s okay…it’s okay, let it out, babe, i’m right here…” cheryl whispers, looking up in agony at f.p, who looks up at the ceiling with a deep sigh before his head just drops down in defeat, his hands resting on his hips…

 

toni doesn’t say another word. 

 

she just cries, cries and cries and cries as cheryl holds her close and refuses to let her go for a single second, lips peppering kisses into toni’s hair as she does. 

 

“i’m sorry, toni…i’m so sorry…” she keeps whispering the words over and over again, as if there’s a possibility that if she says them enough times, thomas will come back to life… 

 

first, their home. and now her grandfather…

 

it’s not fair. it’s not fair, why do bad things keep happening to good people? cheryl doesn’t understand it…

 

“ch-cher-.”

 

“shh, let it out, toni…i’m here.” cheryl says softly, and toni whimpers, gripping cheryl’s hospital gown tightly between her fingers before-

 

a loud scream erupts from the pink haired serpent, a scream that echoes out through every hallway of riverdale general hospital.

 

a scream, cheryl’s sure, she’ll never forget as long as she lives.


	21. at least it's something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long, real life got in the way. last chapter should be posted soon. leave a comment letting me know what you think or you can message me at @endofdaysforme on twitter.

it takes time…but they heal.

 

the whole town of riverdale does.

 

the weeks pass by with everyone doing their best to recover, but there’s a certain sadness that clings heavily in the air, cloyingly suffocating the residents in a way that toni can’t really begin to explain. it’s a certain knowledge that there’s a darkness in their beloved town, a certain puppet master that may be unnamed and unknown to everyone else, but who a small group of individuals know is running the show that is causing the chaos that seems to be never-ending.

 

hiram lodge remains untouchable. and toni isn’t sure how long it will stay that way for, but for right now, it doesn’t matter. right now…right now is a time for healing, for moving past the tragic events that befell that night…hiram lodge can remain in his ivory tower, but toni knows, deep down…he will meet his inevitable end. just not _now._

 

and surprisingly…she’s okay with it.

 

in the days that followed the crazy events of the night that everything fell apart, cheryl, nana rose and lisa spent an entire day discussing where nana rose could stay now that both homes on the blossom estate are nothing but ash, and ultimately, it was decided that it was best to place nana rose in a retirement home. the elderly blossom lady was surprisingly supportive of the decision, not wanting to burden cheryl any longer, and as soon as she was discharged from the hospital, she was taken to the nearest and best home that riverdale had to offer, with a promise from both cheryl and toni that they would visit as much and as often as they could.

 

cheryl, of course, had been more than distraught at the idea of not having her nana nearby anymore, and had been even more upset at having to essentially let lisa go and leave her without a job, but lisa had understood, had thanked cheryl for everything she had done for her before returning to greendale to her family, and cheryl, god bless her heart, had managed to keep herself together and had kept it all at bay for toni.

 

toni, who in that time, had had to deal with funeral plans…toni, who had been forced to bury her grandfather three days after his death for traditional and spiritual reasons without cheryl by her side, because her poor girlfriend was still in the hospital with her injuries and smoke inhalation posing a problem for her…

 

toni’s pretty sure she’s never been through anything harder. but she pushed through it, buried three of his own personal items, including his serpent jacket, in his grave with him before helping f.p and the other older serpents bury his casket with nothing but sadness and grief gripping her heart and returning to the hospital, where she had cried in cheryl’s arms for the rest of the day, the red head holding her close and whispering comforting words into her ear as best she could…

 

she has no family left. none whatsoever…a cousin in another state that she’s never even met before and who likely has no inclination to meet her, either, but that’s it. there are no more topazes, the last of the owners of this land withering away until it’s just her left. one tiny little toni topaz left to carry on the legacy of her people…it’s a burden she never expected to be given, and a burden she doesn’t want to carry, but a burden she must face nonetheless now.

 

more than anything, toni wishes she could see her grandfather one last time, tell him that she loves him, that she’s sorry that she didn’t spend his last moments with him...had already spent hours after burying him apologizing at his grave until her voice was fucking _hoarse_ , because she should have been there. she should’ve fucking _been_ there…

 

cheryl had expressed her guilt to toni over all of it, apologizing over and over again for keeping toni from her grandfather in his dying moments, but the truth is, it was all toni’s choice. it was toni’s decision to stay with cheryl, and as much as it hurts her to know that that decision ultimately led to her grandfather dying without her by his side, she doesn’t regret it for a single second. 

 

cheryl had been hurt, and toni needed to be by her side, it’s as simple as that. and she knows her grandfather holds no resentment towards her for it. thomas loved cheryl, and he wouldn’t have wanted toni to leave her side when she was so vulnerable, injured and barely even able to breathe…

 

but it’s a guilt that weighs heavy on the both of them regardless, and toni’s pretty sure it’s a guilt that won’t ever fade no matter how hard they both try to reassure themselves that there’s nothing to feel guilty for. his family should have been there with him, and they weren’t. and it’s something toni will have to live with for the rest of her life. she’s accepted it, but she hasn’t exactly moved on from it. she’s not sure she ever will.

 

cheryl was discharged from the hospital a week after thomas’s death and the riots of riverdale, as they’ve been named, her arm still in a sling and the burns on her body still bandaged, but her lungs finally cleared of any smoke. they’ve been living in f.p’s trailer ever since, sleeping on the pull out couch like they did all those months ago when cheryl was saved from the sisters of quiet mercy, with betty, veronica and josie all bringing them clothes to borrow due to them having absolutely nothing of their own now that their home and everything that belonged to them lay in ashes at the blossom estate. it’s a situation toni’s been in multiple times, locked out of her uncle’s trailer and couch surfing between sweet pea and fangs’s trailers, but cheryl takes time to adjust. she rifles through betty and veronica’s clothes with tears falling down her cheeks that toni does her best to brush away with her lips, the both of them clinging to this idea of being each other’s strength through one of the hardest periods of their lives, and toni’s positive that if they didn’t have each other, they wouldn’t have survived these last few weeks…

 

the serpents have also been trying to heal and move past the loss of their last remaining serpent elder, all of them feeling a little lost on what exactly their future holds with jughead, f.p and cheryl working to try and come up with a long term solution on where the hell they can move to now that thomas is no longer alive to protect them with his ownership of the lakeside, but at the end of it all, they’re also thankful for the zero body count from the night the ghoulies attacked, not a single trace of the rival gang found in riverdale since. toni doesn’t know where they’ve gone, what’s happened to them, and she doesn’t really care, either. 

 

she’s not sure she’ll be able to stop herself from actually killing penny if she ever sees her face again, and the thought both terrifies her and fills her rage and desire to do nothing more than exactly that, end that woman’s life and finally bring a stop to her nefarious and continuous torture of not only toni, but all the serpents. but cheryl grips her hands in those moments that she thinks about the ghoulies and penny, presses a kiss to her still bruised knuckles in an effort to calm her down, and toni isn’t ashamed to admit it’s something that works every time without fail. because cheryl is her soulmate, and cheryl is her strength, and without her, toni’s life feels meaningless.

 

because the weeks pass by and they heal.

 

but the scars that remain hang heavy in the air for every single one of them, some of them physical, some of them emotional and spiritual. toni knows things will never be the same now…it’s almost impossible to think of things ever returning to how they were. but they’re healing…they are.

 

and right now, all toni can focus on is the feeling of cheryl’s body pressed against her own, the both of them resting on the pull out couch in the late hours of the night with f.p’s loud snoring echoing out from his bedroom, mingling with the sound of his son’s equally loud snoring, her fingers brushing over the bandaged burn on cheryl’s thigh and ghosting over the hem of her shorts, up and down up and down over the gentle skin that’s interrupted by gauze as cheryl moves her own fingers under toni’s shirt to run the pads of her fingers up and down toni’s spine tenderly, the both of them just basking in the presence of each other.

 

they’re both alive. despite all the loss they’ve suffered…they’re both still alive. and it’s the one thing, out of _all_ of this bullshit…that toni is so thankful for. because if she had been forced to lose cheryl on the same night she lost thomas…

 

the very thought pulls a deep whine out of toni, the pink haired girl burying her face into cheryl’s neck and nuzzling closer, and her girlfriend doesn’t even need an explanation, just presses a kiss to toni’s hair and holds her close before she lets out a shaky sigh.

 

“do you think it’ll scar, t.t.?” cheryl croaks out, glancing down at toni’s thumb brushing over the bandage on her thigh, toni watching the way she swallows the lump in her throat before she leans up to press a kiss to cheryl’s neck tenderly.

 

“i don’t know, cher…” toni whispers truthfully, her arms moving up to wrap around cheryl’s waist as the red head sighs and digs her nails into toni’s lower back lightly. toni knows she doesn’t need to reassure cheryl that the burns on her thigh don’t make her any less beautiful, knows that she doesn’t need to reassure cheryl that the scars are just little islands in the map that is her body, small stories, however heartbreaking they are, to indicate that she’s _lived_ , that she has a story to tell beneath the beauty and the grace she possesses. she knows, but she says it anyway, perhaps not verbally, but with gentle kisses to her jawline and her neck, over and over again, pink lips puckering against pale skin, relishing in the thrum of a heartbeat against them with every kiss…

 

it’s silent for a little longer before toni rests her chin on cheryl’s collarbone and looks up at her with a light sniff to keep the tears at bay, taking the moment to just stare in wonder at the girl who has so easily claimed her heart and her soul before she finally speaks.

 

“are you okay?” toni asks softly, not even sure where the question is coming from, just knowing that she needs to hear cheryl say that she is…needs something good to cling to after all the madness and chaos that has become their lives and the young age of seventeen. gangs and death and violence and pain, god, so much pain…

 

“i’m okay, toni…just tired. it’s been a long day.” cheryl says hoarsely, running her fingers through toni’s hair with a gentle smile before a soft hum of recognition sounds low in her throat, vibrating against toni’s lips lightly before she repeats the question to the pink haired serpent clutching her so tightly.

 

“are _you_ okay?” cheryl breathes.

 

toni doesn’t answer. can’t find it in her to lie and tell her beautiful girlfriend that she is just to keep her from worrying. because cheryl is her soulmate, and she doesn’t want to lie to her, not after how much damage lying has done to them in the past. so instead, she pushes herself up slightly and kisses her, desperately, deeply, insistently…every ounce of love and affection she has for this girl pouring into this one point of contact so that cheryl knows…no matter what...

 

“i love you.” toni whispers against her lips, again, not sure where any of this is coming from, she’s just letting her mind do what it needs to do to get her body to stop shaking, to get her heart to heal and move on from the pain that’s so readily claimed her from the moment cheryl had told her that thomas was dead, gone forever, the only family she had left to cling to, the only person who shared the same blood…

 

but of course, cheryl sees right through her, even though toni has no idea what her own thoughts are, and grips the girl’s face in her hands, staring deep into her eyes with a frown before she leans in to press her lips to her forehead affectionately.

 

“talk to me toni, please…what’s going on in that mind of yours?” she croaks out against her skin, pulling back to look into her eyes once more. toni licks her lips, tries her best to avert her gaze, but cheryl’s gripping her so tightly, she can’t look anywhere else, and it’s the most terrifying and most vulnerable thing toni’s ever been through, despite the goddamn months they’ve spent opening up to each other about _everything…_ despite the knowledge that cheryl goddamn blossom is her soulmate and she can tell her anything…

 

toni tries so goddamn hard, day in and day out, to stay strong for not only cheryl, but for sweet pea and fangs, for the other serpents, for her friends, for her _family_ , because she’s now the only living descendant of the serpents left, because every single one of them have their own stories, their own lives filled with a little dash of their own personal demons, every single one of them going through their own things right now, and she’s…god, she’s been so busy trying to be there for everyone else, to help the serpents, to help her girlfriend move past all the hell she’s been through because of her fucked up family, trying to help the serpents find a new home, trying to help cheryl and jughead and f.p and fuck…

 

she’s spread herself thin and she knows it. like a simple swipe of butter on a knife spread over a foot long piece of bread, barely covering the surface and stretching so far to do so, and she’s _tired._ she’s so fucking tired…

 

she’s crying before she can stop herself, all this unspoken pain that even _she_ doesn’t understand just bursting forth, and she tries to contain her loud sobs in an effort not to wake up f.p, especially after how much the man has done for them, letting them live in his home once more, being there for thomas in his last moments, helping toni through his funeral, god, it’s poor repayment to be waking him up in the middle of the night with her loud crying-

 

“shh…shh, come here, babe, it’s okay…” 

 

toni tries to muffle her tears, nuzzling closer into cheryl’s neck and crying against it as she grips cheryl’s shirt between her fingers, and her girlfriend, god bless her fucking heart, gives toni all the time in the world, kisses her forehead and every inch of her face she can reach with her own tears falling over seeing toni in so much pain, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes and spilling into her red hair.

 

“i…i d-don’t-.”

 

“i know. i know, toni, you don’t need to say anything, you can just…you can just cry, and i’ll be here, okay? i promise. you can cry however long you want to.” cheryl’s voice is pitched high and trembling, the girl trying so hard to do this for toni, to be strong for her, to just let her have this moment to breakdown and experience everything, and toni knows that this is another one of those moments where all they need is just…this.

 

contact. with each other while they both just…feel everything that’s happened.

 

so she presses a kiss to cheryl’s lips and whispers against them that she can cry too if she wants, for however long it takes and for however long she wants to, and the both of them just stay wrapped in each other’s embrace, allow themselves to give in to their emotions and just…cry.

 

it’s a mixture of one of the most heartbreaking, and one of the most cathartic and healing things toni’s ever been through. but she goes through it anyway, because here in cheryl’s arms, she knows she’s safe.

 

and for just a moment, she can forget the dead grandfather and the dead uncle and the dead parents, can forget the woman who is probably out there vying for her blood, healing from the wounds toni caused her…she can forget the burned down home and the loss of everything she’s ever owned and the burns that now forever mar her girlfriend’s skin…

 

for just a moment, it’s her and it’s cheryl and it’s them together, and that’s all that matters.

 

\---------------------

 

“i don’t understand. she’s just…gone?” cheryl breathes, gripping toni’s hand tightly in her own as they both stare at sierra mccoy sitting on the chair in the dining room in front of them in shock.

 

the former mayor had knocked on f.p’s door five minutes ago, asking to talk to cheryl urgently, and both girls had postponed their visit to pop’s for breakfast to let her in to talk.

 

toni’s kind of starting to wish they had just asked her to come back later, because one, she’s hungry and two, the news they’ve just received is a mixture of the best and worst news possible, and she’s quite sure cheryl’s about two seconds away from having a breakdown if the way she’s gripping toni’s hand so tightly is any indication of her current mental status…

 

sierra sighs and pulls out a thick stack of papers from her briefcase with a firm nod before she looks back up at cheryl and hands the papers to her with pursed lips in concern.

 

“it seems to be that way, cheryl. other than a few thousand missing from her account, your mother has just…vanished without a trace. left riverdale altogether. i’d consider it fleeing law enforcement under the circumstances of what happened at thistlehouse, but when i tried to bring that up with sheriff minetta, he…pretty much told me there was a lack of sufficient evidence to even blame penelope for starting the fire, despite there being a witness in yourself.” sierra says with a scoff of disbelief and a shake of her head. toni bites down on the inside of her cheek to stop herself from screaming that it’s not good enough, because it fucking isn’t. because it’s hiram pulling the strings once more, and penelope shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this, she burned their fucking house down and she almost fucking killed cheryl, she doesn’t get to just leave town and escape the fucking consequences-

 

“but regardless, i received these in my office this morning from her, and it appears she’s decided to leave you the remainder of her money and her piece of the blossom estate: the remains of thornhill. i’m not sure if she plans on ever returning, but judging by the letter she also left with these papers, i think it’s safe to say she’s gone forever.” sierra frowns before she hands cheryl an envelope, where the former mayor’s name is written on the front in cursive handwriting.

 

toni inhales sharply, looking up at sierra with a raised eyebrow, and the woman seems to understand the question she’s silently asking, because she sighs and simply shakes her head.

 

“there was no letter addressed to cheryl. just the papers and that envelope there…” she murmurs. toni scoffs, doesn’t know why she even expected penelope to have parting words for the daughter she tried to kill, and cheryl swallows thickly and squeezes toni’s hand before she reluctantly reaches out to grab the envelope with a shaky hand and an equally shaky breath, her lips pursed as she stares down at the letter with a worried look on her face. 

 

“what does this mean? what about the company? i-.”

 

“she addresses it in the letter, cheryl. it appears the company has gone to your uncle entirely, she signed over her share to him last week, because she…she wasn’t planning on surviving the fire.” sierra says hollowly, clearing her throat awkwardly and looking at cheryl apologetically before she continues, and toni quickly drops a kiss to cheryl’s shoulder in an effort to get her body to stop trembling…

 

“you and nana rose will still receive a share of the money, as nana rose is still the head of the company and is still your legal guardian, so you won’t be left with nothing, cheryl. should your grandmother pass, her position will likely pass on to you, unless her will states otherwise…there’s also a payout of insurance from thistlehouse that you’ll be receiving soon as well. in other words, cheryl…you’re going to be a very rich young girl soon.” sierra says with a smile, but to toni’s surprise, cheryl closes her eyes and lets out a deep sigh before she shakes her head slowly.

 

“i’ve had money my whole life, but it’s never meant less to me than it does right now. i don’t care about it, any of it, and i want nothing to do with that foul company anymore. it’s done nothing but corrupt my family and turn them into…” cheryl trails off, shaking her head before she bites down on her bottom lip and looks to toni with a sad smile. 

 

“whatever nana rose gets from them from now on will fund the remainder of her time at the retirement village. i’ll only dip into it if it’s a matter of urgency. as for the insurance…” cheryl trails off, and toni simply sits there, trying to be the strength her girlfriend needs as she struggles with all the information that’s just been given to them.

 

penelope blossom is gone, has left riverdale and cheryl and toni’s lives for good, and has left everything she has left to cheryl to…what? make up for trying to kill her? does she think giving cheryl all her money and the her part of the blossom estate will win her back cheryl’s love? 

 

it just pisses toni off more, because none of this is fair. penelope should be in fucking jail for everything she’s done, but she buries her emotions deep inside and focuses on cheryl, who just looks beyond confused about everything that sierra has just revealed to her. her hand is still interlaced with toni’s, squeezing tightly every once in a while as she flicks through the papers, and her eyes widen as she reads through one of them before she looks up at sierra in shock.

 

“this is the deed to the entire blossom estate?” she breathes. sierra nods down at the paper with a smile.

 

“yes, signed by your mother, too, to give you ownership of thornhill. all you need to do is sign it as well, and the blossom estate is pretty much yours. the remains of thistlehouse will still be under nana rose’s name, but again, she’s in a retirement home now and she’s your legal guardian, so thistlehouse is technically owned by you. in terms of what penelope owned, she’s signed all the papers there, cheryl. signed away everything to you…they just need your signature, too. i’ve read through everything to make sure you’re not being conned or made to sign anything that could harm you, and in my professional opinion…it’s all safe. the insurance papers for thistlehouse are there as well, you can use it to rebuild-.”

 

“no. no, i don’t want to rebuild, houses and mansions don’t survive the blossom estate. maybe one day once everything has calmed down, but…not now.” cheryl says hollowly, and toni grips her hand between her own, surprised by cheryl’s words, but still squeezing her hand reassuringly in support before cheryl smiles at her softly and looks to sierra with a firm nod.

 

“i’ll sign these papers and deliver them back to you once i’ve read through them properly myself. i trust your judgement, but still-.”

 

“of course, cheryl. take your time with it. would you like me to talk you through everything? i’d hate for you to be left confused by anything.” sierra asks with a kind smile that makes toni realize just where josie mccoy got her own kind heart from, despite her less than stellar past with the woman herself.

 

toni’s stomach grumbles loudly at that exact moment, and she bows her head in embarrassment before smiling sheepishly up at cheryl, who chuckles and leans in to press a kiss to her cheek softly.

 

“can it perhaps wait until this afternoon? we were just about to go to pop’s for breakfast-.”

 

“don’t be silly, cheryl. we can go to pop’s together right now, my treat. i’ll talk you through the papers while you eat, how does that sound?” sierra says with a soft smile, and cheryl’s responding smile takes toni’s breath away as it always does as she pushes herself up off the chair with a nod.

 

“that would be amazing. thank you, attorney mccoy.” 

 

of course, as soon as they arrive at pop’s, toni isn’t at all surprised to find archie, veronica, jughead, betty, josie, sweet pea, kevin and fangs all there already, huddled in a booth and talking in hushed whispers, and despite wanting to stick by her girlfriend’s side, toni quickly decides in no time at all that she should probably join them to give cheryl and sierra the time they need to go over the papers they need to. as much as she’s cheryl’s girlfriend and as much as she has every intention of spending the rest of her life with cheryl, she has no say in legal documents, especially where the blossoms are involved, and she doesn’t want to go and make things more complicated for cheryl by getting involved in business that has nothing to do with her.

 

“i’ll be over there with the others, cher. if you need me, just call me.” toni murmurs, gripping cheryl’s hand in her own tightly, knowing she’s made the right choice when cheryl gives her a smile and a kiss on the lips in appreciation before she nods.

 

toni does, however, make her way over to pop tate himself first to order cheryl’s favorite for her and asks pop tate to send it straight to her as her and sierra take a booth at the far end of the diner for privacy, and as soon as she’s done ordering food for herself, she makes her way over to her gang of friends, chuckling when she sees josie eyeing her mother and cheryl with a frown.

 

“what’s happened?” she asks immediately, gripping sweet pea’s hand in her own with concern, and toni simply shrugs and nods over at them once.

 

“penelope’s run out of town and left everything to cheryl. your mom’s going over all the legal papers with her.” toni grumbles under her breath, plopping down in the seat beside fangs and reaching for a piece of french toast on his plate. 

 

“whoa, really?” fangs says in surprise, eyes widening as he looks over at cheryl and sierra once more in shock. toni simply nods, and jughead whistles as archie frowns and looks to toni with a shake of his head.

 

“so she just ran off? that hardly seems fair, she can’t be allowed to get away with what she’s done-.”

 

“i know, archie. trust me, i know…” toni murmurs, sighing loudly before she takes a bite of toast and looks up at everyone around her.

 

“how are we doing?” she asks simply, wanting to change the topic away from penelope and her sudden disappearance before it just makes her angrier than she already is. archie frowns again, veronica sighs, betty shrugs, jughead bows his head, sweet pea huffs, josie bites down on her bottom lip, kevin scratches the back of his neck and fangs slumps in his seat, and it’s enough for toni to get a general indication that everyone’s doing pretty shit, to be honest.

 

so of course, in typical toni topaz fashion, despite the own shit feeling claiming her heart and mind, she tries to lighten the mood.

 

“how’s the speakeasy coming along?” she murmurs to veronica, whose face immediately lights up with a smile before she purses her lips, glances over at cheryl and sierra to make sure they aren’t even remotely listening, and nods.

 

“ready to be open by next saturday for her birthday. have you got your gift planned out?” veronica teases with a smile. toni licks her lips before she runs her fingers through her hair and nods once, trying her best not to break down in tears…

 

thomas’s trailer had been one of the ones damaged during the fight with the ghoulies, a part of the roof ripped off and the whole side of it burned and charred to a crisp, but everything else had been left intact, and toni had gone with f.p the day of thomas’s funeral to find anything they could salvage. her grandfather hadn’t had much in his last days of life, and it showed in how little he had in his trailer. cheryl had offered multiple times to help him out money wise, but thomas turned her down at every chance, something toni understood and never questioned. her grandfather was a proud man, and toni had inherited that from him, finding it hard some days to accept cheryl paying for their meals or living in her home without paying any rent despite how many times cheryl told her that thistlehouse was _their_ home, not just cheryl’s, but regardless, she already has plans to work as a bartender at veronica’s speakeasy the second it opens so she can start pulling her weight around.

 

but thomas never accepted a dime from cheryl, and even though his home is quite bare, they’d found his serpent jacket, his wedding ring that he kept by his bedside table in a chain, and a picture of him and his father when he was younger, and they were all items that toni had decided to bury with him.

 

what she hadn’t expected to find, however, was a small, diamond ring in a red velvet box inside one of the drawers of his dresser, with a goddamn note inside that was addressed to toni herself.

 

_dear ant,_

_hopefully you never have to read this letter and i can tell you this in person, but just in case i’m gone before i get the chance…this is the topaz family ring that i gave your grandmother when we got married, and my father gave my mother before me, and his father, and so on…this is also the ring your father gave your mother when they got married. when she died, the ring was given to me along with her personal items, and i decided to keep it until the day you found someone, as i’m sure your mother would have wanted. i see how you and cheryl continue to grow, and i think, little bird…it’s safe to say this ring belongs on that girl’s finger. please don’t be discouraged by the bad history this ring has…if there’s any couple who is going to break the curse of this ring, it’s you and her. if you are reading this and i never get the chance to tell you this in person…i love you. your father loves you, and your mother loves you. and we’ll always watch over you, little bird. always and forever._

_love, granddad._

 

toni had spent a good hour and a half crying in f.p’s arms upon discovering it, but she’s kept that diamond ring in the pocket of her serpent jacket every day since, planning and plotting with everyone sitting at this table on the perfect way to do what she wants without telling them anything about her plans.

 

it’s not a promise ring. it’s an engagement ring.

 

and she knows, she knows they’re too young to get married, too grief stricken over recent events to even think about a wedding or anything like that, but right now…

 

right now they need hope. and toni’s more than happy to stay engaged to cheryl for as long as her girlfriend wants, whether it’s for the next two years, or the next five, or the next ten…

 

she wants to make this promise from now. this promise that one day, they’ll come home to each other with wedding bands on their fingers and the word ‘wife’ instead of ‘girlfriend’. because cheryl goddamn blossom is her fucking soulmate, and toni has no intention of ever, _ever_ letting her go.

 

the very thought has tears of happiness springing to her eyes, but she pushes it aside and simply continues nodding as veronica watches her patiently, waiting for her to continue, but she doesn’t. she hasn’t told _anyone_ about it. f.p knows she has the ring, but he doesn’t know she’s going to be proposing to cheryl on her birthday. 

 

it’s cheryl’s first birthday without jason, and toni wants to make it a good day instead of a sad one. because despite the grief of losing their home, toni knows that once next saturday rolls around, the grief and the pain is only going to increase tenfold, knows that every year for the rest of her life is going to be spent making sure that cheryl’s birthday is a cause for celebration instead of a day of pain and anguish over her dead twin brother…

 

and to be honest, she’s perfectly fucking fine with that.

 

“fine, keep your secrets, toni topaz. but this is going to be one surprise party to remember, i’m going to make sure of it. cheryl deserves it.” veronica says with a wide smile, cuddling in closer to archie, who grins and presses a kiss to her temple affectionately. 

 

toni watches them with a warm smile, looks over at betty and jughead cuddled up beside them, then over to sweet pea and josie sharing french fries and feeding each other while giggling and chuckling, then to fangs and kevin, who grip each other’s hands under the table with soft smiles and knowing glints in their eyes…

 

maybe there's hope. maybe there's a chance that somewhere down the line, despite all this _pain_ , all the things they've had to endure...

 

maybe there's still hope for something _good._

 

“it definitely is, ronnie. it definitely is…”

 

\--------------

 

“i’ve been thinking…” 

 

cheryl purses her lips, thinking out her next words carefully as toni slightly stiffens beneath her body for just a moment before she hums softly and pushes herself up to look at cheryl patiently for her answer. cheryl smiles before she grips toni’s face in her hands and leans down to press a kiss to her lips slowly.

 

it’s something she’s been thinking about for the last few days, but something she hasn’t exactly been sure about until sierra had gone over the legal documents with her this afternoon. cheryl had more than enough money to do what she wanted from what clifford had left for her in his will, and with penelope’s money now added on top and the forthcoming insurance, as well as nana rose’s continuous income from the company now going to her, cheryl’s pretty sure she has enough to build ten houses the size of thornhill. 

 

but the truth is, she doesn’t _want_ to.

 

no, this…this is what she wants instead…

 

“a few of the serpents had some damage done to their trailers in the fight. i was thinking…i was thinking that maybe i could use some of the insurance money from thistlehouse to help them pay for the repairs and use whatever’s left…to buy us our own trailer?” cheryl says softly and a little apprehensively, smiling at the way toni immediately tenses in her arms before she’s pushing herself up and looking down at cheryl in complete and utter shock.

 

“wha…cheryl, are you sure? that’s a lot of money, and trailers aren’t cheap-.”

 

“toni, between the money my father and now my mother have left me, the insurance from thistlehouse and the money nana rose gets from the company daily, i’ll likely be rich until i’m nothing more than a decrepit old lady. and after how much _evil_ that money has caused…i want to do something _good_ with it. and it starts now, by fixing the homes of those who who need it, and buying a new home for the ones who lost theirs…meaning us.” cheryl says hoarsely, brushing her fingers up and down toni’s spine under her shirt with a warm smile, a shiver running up her own spine when toni returns it before she leans down to kiss her deeply with a low whine. 

 

“cher, what…what about the blossom estate, don’t you want to use that money to rebuild?” toni says against her lips, pulling away breathlessly and looking into her eyes with a frown of concern, and cheryl bites down on her bottom lip before she simply shrugs and lets out a shaky sigh.

 

“maybe one day…but instead, at least for right now, i was thinking…maybe we can let the serpents move their trailers there. make the blossom estate the new home of the southside serpents. it’s my property, i can do what i want with it, so why not use it to provide my family with a safe place to live? we can’t stay here on the lakeside anymore, toni. sheriff minetta is bound to come knocking on our doorstep any moment now, we need to move quickly, and there’s an entire land just sitting there…empty. it’s perhaps not a perfect solution, but at least it is one.” 

 

toni takes in cheryl’s words with wide eyes, and for the first time in a long time, cheryl wishes she could see inside her girlfriend’s mind, wishes she could hear her thoughts and know what she’s thinking, but the tears that quickly gather in her eyes are indication enough that what cheryl has just said has hit her heart in a either a good way or a bad way-

 

“you’re…the most amazing…most perfect…most _selfless_ person i have ever had the pleasure of meeting, cheryl marjorie blossom.” toni breathes, and before cheryl can even reply, toni crashes their lips together, her hand moving under cheryl’s shirt to scratch down the skin of her stomach, drawing out a loud moan from the redhead that she quickly tries to swallow down as f.p’s snoring echoes out from the room down the hall.

 

“does that…mean you like…the idea?” cheryl manages to gasp out between kisses, pulling back to look into toni’s eyes, and the pink haired serpent actually giggles for the first time in weeks, the sound making cheryl’s heart flutter before she presses another kiss to cheryl’s lips quickly with a nod.

 

“it sounds like an amazing fucking idea, baby. but…going from a home with four walls to a tiny trailer…you don’t deserve that, cher-.” toni starts, but she’s quickly silenced by cheryl pressing a finger to her lips with a furious shake of her head.

 

because a home to her is not four walls and a roof.

 

home is not a place to cheryl blossom. home is a person.

 

and that person is none other than toni topaz.

 

“ _you’re_ my home, toni. whether we live in a mansion with eighteen rooms or a tent with only one sleeping bag, without _you_ , there’s no such thing has home for me. besides, think of how domestic we’ll be in our own little trailer.” cheryl teases, the thought of something that’s so close in their future making her want to jump up from this pull out couch and find the trailer they’ll make their new home right now as toni laughs lightly once again before she purses her lips and nods slowly, reaching her hand up from under cheryl’s shirt to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear affectionately.

 

“you’re my home too, cheryl. and i want nothing more than to be domestic with you in our little trailer…cooking breakfast in our little kitchen and eating at our little dinner table…you feeding me like you always do while we share a glass of orange juice…then we can go for our morning runs around the blossom estate, and come home and take a shower together-.”

 

“have it all planned out, don’t you?” cheryl says with a loud chuckle, and toni grins down at her before she bites down on her bottom lip and nods, leaning down to brush her lips against cheryl’s lightly.

 

“i have our whole lives together planned out, cheryl. and maybe it won’t work out like i want it to, but as long as we’re together, i don’t care. but i’m still determined to make it happen.” she says firmly. 

 

the grin that spreads across cheryl’s face easily wipes away any traces of pain or worry or anguish that resides in her heart over everything they’ve been through the last few weeks, and she finds herself brushing her fingers up and down toni’s sides as she hums softly and leans up off the couch to press kisses to her neck slowly.

 

“mmm…what are your plans, babe?” she murmurs. toni gasps at the feeling of cheryl’s lips against her skin, eyes fluttering slightly before she lets out a shaky breath and lets cheryl sit up slowly until she’s straddling the red head’s lap, her girlfriend’s arms easily wrapping around her waist as toni’s own hands come to rest on cheryl’s shoulders.

 

“spoilers, cher. i like keeping you on your toes.” toni breathes, her hands moving up to thread through cheryl’s hair, and cheryl pulls back, looking up at toni with a pout of disappointment that the pink haired serpent quickly kisses away with a smile.

 

“don’t pout, baby. it’ll be worth the wait, i promise. but can…can i ask a favor of you?” toni asks suddenly, looking down at cheryl with that same sadness that’s been so prominent in her eyes returning quickly with the snap of her fingers, and the sight breaks cheryl’s heart so easily, she finds herself nodding before the word even comes out.

 

“anything.” she whispers hoarsely. tears quickly spring to toni’s eyes, ones that cheryl quickly brushes away with the tips of her fingers the second they leak from the corners of her eyes as she sniffs and smiles down at cheryl shakily.

 

“you think you can draw something for me?”

 

\-------------------

 

“cheryl, this…this is a big decision to make.”

 

f.p watches the second in command with a look of surprising shock, but also softness, a smile playing on his lips as cheryl purses her own and nods before gripping toni’s hand tightly.

 

she’s aware that this is a life changing decision to make, that the blossom estate will essentially become the home of over fifteen trailers and at least fifty southside serpents, but then she remembers the fact that she’s providing a safe place for the younger kids of those southside serpents, remembers that there’s over twelve different families within this group of fifty that makes the proud gang of riverdale, and it only reaffirms to her that her decision is the right one.

 

“i know. but it’s _my_ decision and mine alone. i won’t let the serpents rot, or continue to live in a place that poses nothing but danger to them. the blossom estate is gated and secure, the ghoulies have no chance of getting in. it’s the perfect spot for the serpents to call home, and i’m more than happy to open it to them. the serpents have been more of a family to me than clifford or penelope blossom ever have been or ever will be, and it’s about time the blossom estate was used for something _good_ , instead of being a haunted land of burned down houses and secret drug rings.” cheryl says firmly, taking in jughead’s look of complete and utter surprise with amusement.

 

to say the serpent king was surprised by cheryl’s announcement is an understatement. cheryl’s pretty sure he hasn’t moved a single muscle since she had woken them both up this morning to tell them she had an idea on how to fix their current living situation. 

 

jughead looks to toni before he looks to f.p as if he’s trying to understand what exactly cheryl is proposing here, and it only seems to sink in when f.p runs his fingers through his hair and lets out a loud chuckle.

 

“never would’ve thought i’d be living on the goddamn blossom estate…” he murmurs. 

 

cheryl finds herself grinning widely, pondering the fact that this man before her went to jail for covering up the murder of her twin brother for her own father, ponders how so much has changed in so little time…

 

just seven months ago, she _hated_ f.p jones with every goddamn fiber of her being, and now…now she was providing him with a place to call home, just like he himself has done twice now for her and toni.

 

maybe this is his way of attempting to make up for what he’s done…regardless, cheryl is thankful for f.p jones in this moment. because without him, without his leadership, there’s no way in hell that cheryl, jughead and toni would have gotten through these last few weeks.

 

losing thomas has been hard on all the serpents, every single one of them worried and afraid about what lay ahead of them now that they’d lost the last serpent elder, but now…now cheryl has come up with a solution. they didn’t need to keep watching over their shoulder for police cars at the blossom estate like they’ve had to living on the lakeside.

 

they can be free. once and for all, they can be _free._

 

“so the serpents are setting up shop on the northside, inside the estate of one of the richest families in new york…” jughead says, sighing and looking to f.p, who scoffs and shakes his head before moving off the wall he’s leaning on and gripping jughead’s shoulder tightly.

 

“hey, it doesn’t matter where we settle down, the southside stays in our _hearts._ we’ll always be the southside serpents, because the southside…that’s our home. but we need to do what we need to do to survive, jughead. and cheryl’s one of our own. the southside lives on in her, too.” f.p says firmly, smiling at the red head softly, and she raises her head high and looks to jughead, who runs his fingers through his hair before he shoves his beanie back on with a grin.

 

“there’s a pool, isn’t there?” he asks sheepishly. cheryl rolls her eyes as toni laughs loudly, and f.p chuckles before he lets out a deep breath and nods.

 

“alright. when do we move in?” he asks cheryl with a smile. 

 

“right now if you want. there’s a lot of land that’s empty, but we may need to get on top of getting rid of the remaining ruins of thornhill and thistlehouse-.”

 

“yeah, about that…fred andrews wanted me to tell you that he’s a phone call away when it comes to construction with the blossom estate, free of charge. he can’t thank you enough for saving archie’s life that night, cheryl. he said this is the least he can do to repay you.” cheryl’s eyes widen in surprise.

 

“no, i can compensate him-.”

 

“he doesn’t want your money, red. you saved his son’s life, to him, that’s priceless. the serpents will help out, too. as soon as we get the trailers settled in, i’ll put us to work getting rid of any rubble so fred can come through with the excavation truck. a few of the older serpents have already got jobs on the northside, but i’m gonna make sure everyone’s got a stable income so they can pay you some sort of rent. we’re not living there for free, cheryl, it’s out of the question.” f.p says firmly. 

 

cheryl’s about to argue, about tell him that she just wants the serpents to finally have a moment to relax and know that they’re safe, but the man gives her a stern look that instantly has her simply nodding once and settling back down on the couch into toni’s side, her pink haired girlfriend grinning and pressing a kiss to her forehead before she looks up at f.p in amusement.

 

“well then, i guess that’s settled. feel like going trailer shopping with us?” she asks with a grin. f.p rolls his eyes, but chuckles and nods once.

 

"sure thing. meet you outside in ten." he says with a grin, and cheryl presses her face into toni's hair with a soft hum as jughead makes his way out of the trailer after his father, giving them the alone time they so desperately crave in this moment...

 

cheryl immediately moves to straddle toni's lap, knees resting on either side of her hips as her fingers card through soft pink hair, and toni smiles up at her softly, her hands moving under cheryl's shirt to scratch down her back lightly before she leans up to press a kiss to cheryl's jaw tenderly.

 

"mmm...so we're buying our home today i guess..." she murmurs, eliciting a soft laugh from cheryl as she pulls back to look into toni's eyes with a smile and a firm nod.

 

"we are...and we also need to go shopping for clothes, we won't have time to any other day because of school...i want to buy a nice dress for my birthday next week." cheryl says, sighing as her thoughts turn to jason, her poor, poor brother, mind so filled with the ache of losing him that she doesn't notice the way toni's eyes light up at the mention of next saturday, doesn't notice how she lets out a shaky breath before she's grinning and leaning up to kiss cheryl's lips passionately, shocking the red haired girl back into the present and of the whirling thoughts of her brother in the process.

 

"sounds like a plan, baby. although...cher, can i be honest with you? i don't like the idea of taking your money-."

 

"you're not taking my money, toni. what's mine is yours, it's as simple as that." cheryl says almost immediately in a firm tone, desperate to cut out any of those thoughts from toni's mind immediately. she won't have her girlfriend thinking she was anything less than an equal owner of every single dime she owned. toni frowns, worry creasing her brow as she licks her lips before she shakes her head.

 

"cher, i...i just feel unworthy of it, i didn't work for it-."

 

"toni, neither did i! that money is inheritance, i haven't worked a single day in my life for that fortune, i was born into it! so your argument is completely invalid. i'm using that money, that blood stained, tainted money, to buy us a home and clothes so we can start over. it's the least i can do after it's my mother's fault you lost everything in the first place..." cheryl trails off, unable to stop her bottom lip from quivering with emotion, but toni immediately brushes her thumb over it to put a stop to it herself, a smile on her lips as she leans in to kiss away the pain softly.

 

"and isn't it amazing that i'm still here? she burned down everything i owned, cher, and i'm _still here._ because i love you. and nothing will ever, _ever_ change that. not even your crazy, pyromaniac of a mother." toni teases with a grin, causing cheryl to roll her eyes before she grips toni's face in her hands and kisses her soundly. 

 

"i love you, too. more than words can say. and i can't wait to buy a cute little trailer for us to live in." cheryl says, giggling when toni slaps a palm down over her backside with a wide grin and a raised eyebrow.

 

"then what are we waiting for? let's go!" 

 

and with a loud giggle as she's thrown onto the couch before warm fingers are interlacing with her own, cheryl comes to a stunning, heartbreaking, but also life changing conclusion.

 

a conclusion that they’re healing.

 

a conclusion that the town of riverdale will never be the same, and neither will they.

 

but they’re healing. and even if it takes a few more weeks or a few more days…at least it’s _something._


	22. i love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oooooooof....
> 
> i'm uh...how do you say...emotional.
> 
> so, uh, this is the last chapter. this fic is officially over. whew, that's quite a doozy to swallow but hey, everything comes to an end, which uh, sucks, and i hate it but it's the truth.
> 
> i wanna thank each and every single one of you who have stuck by this series, who have given me the motivation to keep writing and who have left the most amazing comments or messaged me the most amazing things on twitter. you're what keeps me going.
> 
> is this the last of this series? most likely, yes. i mean, maybe there'll be a oneshot or two in the future, but i can guarantee you i won't be writing another fic in this series of THIS caliber because holy hell does writing a twenty two chapter fic with 10K chapters take a lot out of you! fuck me, i don't think i've slept properly in six months eheh, hmm...
> 
> choni said 'i love you' for the first time in last night's episode (we gonna ignore the rest), so y'all know i got inspiration for A LOT of other fics coming your way! keep an eye out for them on here or on twitter, either way, they'll be making an appearance on both :D
> 
> anyway, i guess this is me signing off. i hope you enjoy the last chapter, and i hope you've enjoyed the journey as a whole. i know it's helped some of you with your frustrations over the writing on the actual show, and that gives me nothing but joy, because it was kind of my intention from the start lol
> 
> this is getting way too sappy and way too long, whew, lemme cut myself off right now! love you guys!

the scratching of lead against paper echoes out over the sound of a ceiling fan slowly spinning above the bed where toni topaz lays fast asleep, her chest rising and falling in deep breaths that have cheryl blossom staring for just a few seconds in awe, lips curling up into a small smile at the sight of the woman she loves so deep in her state of unconsciousness, she hasn’t moved in over an hour.

 

it’s not too early in the morning, but she’s been awake for at least an hour now, cheryl being as lithe and as quiet as possible while she occupies the chair in the corner of their room in their new trailer. the queen sized bed takes up a large space of the room, but cheryl had already been forced to compromise with the queen, as a king sized bed would’ve left them with no space at all.

 

it’s a downgrade from her bed at thistlehouse, sure, but the mattress is just as comfortable, and honestly, the only reason cheryl wanted such a large bed is because she wanted more room for…well…

 

she chuckles to herself, ignoring the lust that pounds through her as toni finally shifts and turns onto her side, the blanket falling and exposing her naked chest as her brow furrows before it relaxes once more, and cheryl pauses with her pencil above the paper for just a moment before she continues, eyes focused on the flick of each strand of fur she draws, on the way the eyes need to look soulful, piercing and filled with the emotion she wants to capture…

 

pain, but strength. grief, but remembrance. heartbreak, but unadulterated love.

 

the emotions, she feels, make up the pink haired girl lying on their bed right now, a welcome distraction from the pain that makes it’s way through her own heart as she slowly begins to settle into the day she’s been dreading for almost nine months now.

 

it’s her birthday.

 

and as much as cheryl tries not to focus on the lack of familiar warmth that should be beside her, it still rests dormant in the back of her mind, an ever growing ache that reminds her that today is her birthday. she will grow one year older, and her twin brother will not.

 

jason blossom is forever stuck at sixteen, while she will go on through many more birthdays leaving him behind further and further with each one she celebrates.

 

it shouldn’t be like this. but it is.

 

she should be celebrating her birthday with jason by her side, should be running through the hallways of thornhill right now to jason’s room, bursting through the door and jumping on top of him with nothing but glee to wake him so they don’t miss a single second of the day they share together…the day they both came into this world and started this life journey as one…

 

instead, she is in a trailer, a beautiful, fancy one that puts all the other trailers currently sprawled across the grass outside to shame because she’s cheryl fucking blossom and she refused to get anything less than the absolute best they had to offer, yes, but still a trailer nonetheless, with a naked girl in her bed, a dead twin brother and a dead father, a mother who has disappeared forever and a bunch of gang members occupying the very land her and jason once played cops and robbers on before their mother had chastised them for playing ‘silly children’s games’.

 

and yes, perhaps she does miss waking jason up in the early hours of the morning, her brother getting grumpier and grumpier at her with each passing year that she did so before he’d hold her close and wish her a happy birthday, but this…this is good, too.

 

after all, how can the sight of toni topaz laying naked on her bed be anything other than good?

 

cheryl’s eyes fall down from her sleeping girlfriend to the burn that now permanently marks her thigh, the skin stretched and twisted, just a little paler than the rest of her skin…

 

the skin that toni had laid kisses upon just hours ago, her girlfriend choosing to welcome her into her seventeenth year of life with an orgasm that cheryl’s pretty sure she’s still feeling the aftershocks of, a slight buzz of pleasure coursing through her veins that hasn’t faded since toni had whispered ‘happy birthday’ into her ear an hour into the new day while cheryl had gasped for air and twitched beneath the weight of her body, the laziest, but happiest smile on her face as she did…

 

the burn changed nothing. not for toni, at least. but for cheryl, it was harder to move past. the one on her hand has faded, a simple superficial layer of her skin melted off that has now fully healed and become smooth once more, but the one on her thigh had been deeper. second degree edging closer to third, and try as she might to reassure herself that the burns really do change nothing, cheryl can’t help herself from feeling disgusted at the sight of it every time.

 

she already has scars. a plethora of small, faint lines that have marred her body since she was a child, all courtesy of clifford and penelope blossom, but this one…this one took up so much more of her, was so much more evident, ugly and warped and so visible to the naked eye when everything else has been so easy to cover…

 

it’s not the perfection she’s strived so hard to achieve for so many years. it’s a permanent mark against that attempt at beauty, at flawlessness, the mask that she’s so easily slipped on for seventeen years now forever tainted by… _this._

 

it’s hideous, and cheryl hates looking at it, but for all the money she has, she refuses to waste a dime of it on getting it fixed like her mother did when she had been burned by the fires of thornhill. 

 

because that money won’t be used for vanity, for selfish reasons or for something as silly as self-esteem. because this scar is a part of her now, and because the money she has needs to go to something _more._

 

keeping the serpents alive. keeping _her family_ alive. 

 

a soft whine echoes out, breaking cheryl out of her thoughts as she tears her gaze away from the burn on her thigh and looks up to see toni rolling onto her back on the bed, a deep sigh escaping her as cheryl glances at the clock on the wall above their bed.

 

hmm…perhaps it is time to rouse her sleeping beauty.

 

she looks down at the drawing, feeling accomplished and ready to present it to the girl before her, and she adds a few more finishing touches before she stands up from the chair and makes her way over to the bed slowly, the silk robe she’s wearing barely covering anything, truthfully, worn loosely around her body and untied around the waist as she leans down and runs her fingers through pink hair tenderly.

 

“toni?” she whispers, voice slightly hoarse from lack of use before she leans down to rest her pillowy, swollen lips to toni’s hairline, the taste of salt invading her tastebuds for just a moment before she pulls away, and toni inhales sharply before her eyes slowly blink open, fluttering repeatedly as she looks up at the sight before her.

 

it’s a mixture, really, of awe and worship and affection and love that quickly invades the chocolate brown warmth of toni’s eyes, but it’s a sight cheryl’s quite sure she’ll never really get sick of seeing.

 

it’s a sight that reminds her that she’s loved. for the first time in her life, she’s loved and adored and held in such high praise to _someone else_ , and granted, she never, ever could have predicted it would be this small, petite girl from the southside with pink hair and a serpent jacket to match, but fuck…

 

here they are, aren’t they? here they fucking are…

 

“mmm, good morning, baby. happy birthday.” toni croaks out, arms immediately reaching up to wrap around cheryl’s neck before she’s pulling the girl down towards her and spinning her around until her back falls flat against the bed, a giggle of surprise escaping cheryl at the action. she drops the book and the pencil over the side of the bed and melts into the mattress while toni simply collapses on top of her and begins pressing kisses to her bruised and bitten neck, the vibrations from her lips as she hums causing cheryl to gasp despite herself until toni pulls back and looks down at her with a lazy, half-asleep smile.

 

“thank you, t.t.” cheryl whispers, leaning up with a smile to press her own lips to toni’s jawline in a loving kiss as the girl’s hands immediately move under cheryl’s robe to brush across the pale, creamy skin that’s still flushed from their rendezvous in the early hours of the morning.

 

“i’m dating an older woman, how sexy of me.” toni murmurs, chuckling as cheryl rolls her eyes and scratches the skin at her sides gently with a shake of her head.

 

“your birthday is two months away, it’s hardly that much of a difference.” she grumbles, her cheeks turning red despite herself, and toni grins widely before she ducks down and begins peppering kisses all over cheryl’s face lovingly.

 

“still…” toni grins, and cheryl throws a playful glare at her before she leans up to nip at her bottom lip in reprimand.

 

“be careful, mon petite amour…today is _my_ day, i might just choose to do something… _drastic_ , as payback for your teasing.” she purrs, grinning at the way toni shivers above her as she presses a chaste kiss to her pulse point firmly.

 

“mmm, if that’s what you want. like you said, today’s _your_ day, cher. we’re gonna do whatever you want, baby. as long as tonight is in my hands. i have plans.” toni says softly, tucking a lock of hair behind cheryl’s ear and grinning sheepishly at the way cheryl’s brow furrows in confusion.

 

“toni, what-.” toni interrupts her with a quick kiss to her brow as she rests a finger upon her lips to silence her.

 

“shh. it’s a surprise. the night may be mine, but the day is yours. so tell me, miss cheryl ‘bombshell’ blossom…what will make this birthday one to remember until we’re old and grey?” toni says with a warm smile, and cheryl kind of short circuits as she processes toni’s words.

 

until _we’re_ old and grey…

 

god, she could cry. she really could, how did she get so lucky…

 

she blinks back her tears and simply interlaces one of her hands with toni’s, staring at their fingers for a few moments before she begins to map out what exactly she wants to do…

 

“i…we have to see jason, toni. today is his day, too.” she whispers, looking up at toni with nothing but sadness, and of course, of course her girlfriend’s eyes also fill with grief, her smile quickly fading as she purses her lips before leaning down to press them to cheryl’s in a kiss that instantly has her feeling better.

 

“of course, baby. if you want, we can take some food and some blankets and have breakfast with him? just spend a few hours talking and filling him in on everything-oh! we gotta tell him about the trailer!” toni says excitedly, glancing around said trailer with a happy grin, and cheryl doesn’t even really how it happens, it just kind of…does.

 

she grips toni’s waist and forces her to straddle her lap before she’s kissing her, teeth tugging on full, buttery lips eagerly as toni responds with enthusiasm, whining against her and gripping cheryl’s face between her hands before she pulls away with a gasp of shock.

 

“what was that for?” she breathes, and cheryl wraps her arms around her and knocks her forehead against toni’s with an equally breathless gasp before she shakes her head.

 

“i just… _i love you_ , toni, i love you so fucking much-.”

 

“wow, you must, i think that’s the first time i’ve heard you swear in a long time.” toni laughs, but it’s quickly cut off by cheryl’s lips attacking her own once more, needing just that one kiss more before she pulls back and reaches a hand up to brush toni’s hair away from her face fondly.

 

jason isn’t the only family she wants to see today, however…

 

“can we see thomas, too? and your parents? i want to spend some time with them, too, tell them that that we’re doing okay-.”

 

this time it’s toni that cut her off with a kiss that leaves cheryl’s head spinning, the lack of air she’s getting barely an issue as toni inhales sharply through her nose against her, nails scratching at the sides of her neck before she sighs against her heavily.

 

“god, i hate that there’s so many graves we have to visit…they should be here with us, all of them.” toni whispers against her lips. cheryl sighs, but before she can even let the grief settle in, toni’s kissing her once more, lips moving in perfect synchronization with her own until she pushes cheryl back down onto the bed gently with a smile.

 

“no more sad talk. i need to give you your first present.” toni murmurs, causing cheryl to cock an eyebrow in amusement as she looks at toni with a playful grin.

 

“mmm, i think present number one was given earlier this morning, toni.” she teases, and toni laughs loudly before she grins back at cheryl with nothing but amusement shining in those eyes of hers that cheryl’s gotten so lost in on a number of occasions.

 

“true…then i guess present number two is just a continuation of present number one…so will present number three…and four…” she mumbles against gentle kisses to her lips that trail down to her neck, her fingers gripping the robe and flipping it open to expose cheryl’s naked body underneath.

 

the red haired girl lets out a loud whine before she can stop herself, but she manages to tuck a finger under toni’s chin to lift her gaze up, forcing herself to focus on what she wants to do before this day begins.

 

“i have a present for you, too.” she whispers. toni raises an eyebrow and rolls her eyes before she shakes her head.

 

“cher, it’s your birthday, not mine-.”

 

“i know, but i have a present for you, anyway. beside the bed, the book on the floor…” cheryl says, smiling as she nods to its position. toni licks her lips before she reluctantly pulls away from cheryl and leans down over the side of the bed to grab the book, exposing her bare backside to cheryl, who really can’t help herself as she slaps an open palm onto it playfully.

 

“hey, watch it.” toni growls with a grin before she’s pushing herself back up and positioning herself over cheryl once more. she flips the book over, and the grin immediately fades and is replaced with shock as she stares at the picture before her.

 

“i finished the drawing you asked me to do.” cheryl says simply, hands roaming up and down toni’s thighs on either side of her body as toni looks down at her with tears shining in her eyes.

 

“fuck, cher, it’s…it’s _beautiful_ , thank you so much, baby!” toni breathes, bending down to kiss her quickly before she’s staring at the photo in amazement, taking in each stroke of the pencil that has formed a wolf with nothing but awe shining in her eyes. cheryl watches her happily for a few moments before she speaks once more.

 

“after we finish visiting everyone, we can come back here and ask sweet pea to do it-.”

 

“actually…i was kind of hoping _you_ could do it, cher.” toni says softly, looking at her with nothing but determination and pride as she grips the book between her hands while cheryl looks at her with nothing but fear and horror.

 

her? do the tattoo? but…

 

“wh-what? toni, i…i’ve never tattooed someone before, i don’t even know how to-.”

 

“sweet pea can teach you, but you’ve already got the talent, baby. it’s not that much different from drawing, it’s like using a pencil that just vibrates, yeah? you can do it…and there’s no one else i want to do it for me, and i know grandpa would want you to do it, too. it’ll mean so much more coming from you…” toni says firmly, but not unkindly, and cheryl hesitates, because of course she does.

 

this isn’t just a serpent tattoo, this is something that signifies toni’s place as a member of the topaz family, and more than that…this is her spirit animal. something so close to her culture, to her native side, cheryl can’t screw this up, it isn’t even remotely an option…

 

“toni, i-.”

 

“you can do it, cher. i know you can.” toni whispers, leaning down and resting those full lips of hers to cheryl’s forehead in a tender kiss that has cheryl sighing shakily against her.

 

fuck, it’s terrifying, but toni believes in her, and cheryl doesn’t want to disappoint her…

 

“i…okay, t.t. i’ll do it, but i want sweet pea there the whole time-.”

 

“of course, cher, he’ll be there. i’ll message him now, okay? but for now…let me give you present number two and three so we can get breakfast ready and go see jason…” toni grins, settling the book on their bedside table before she hums softly and trails her lips from cheryl’s forehead to her lips slowly, taking her time to cherish each and every ounce of cheryl’s skin and body…

 

\------------------

 

“and now we have a trailer…and all the serpents live here on the estate, too, jay jay. this place is finally filled with love and happiness.” cheryl breathes out, wiping away the tears that fall down her cheeks as toni’s fingers grip her own tightly. 

 

“the trailer’s amazing, jason. cheryl has really good taste, although i should’ve known that considering she’s dating me.” toni grins widely, nudging cheryl’s shoulder with her own teasingly before she grabs a grape from the basket in front of them.

 

cheryl laughs despite herself, sniffling as she squeezes toni’s hand and rests her head on toni’s shoulder. it’s quiet for a few moments, the both of them basking in each other’s presence before toni hears cheryl sigh beside her tiredly.

 

“do you think he can hear us, t.t.?” she whispers. toni feels her heart break at just how defeated cheryl’s voice sounds, but she turns her head and rests her lips on the crown of cheryl’s head regardless, resting her hand on cheryl’s thigh and giving it a firm squeeze as she puckers her lips into a gentle kiss. 

 

“of course he can, baby. he’s here with us, i know he is…just like thomas, and my mom and dad…” the lump in her throat seems to form immediately at the mention of her grandfather’s name, the pain still fresh despite the weeks that have passed, but she pushes through it because today is about cheryl.

 

but something that toni knows exists, but has never really been able to explain, is the bond that she and cheryl have. because cheryl immediately pulls away as if she can feel toni’s pain, a whimper escaping her as she reaches up and cradles toni’s face in her hands before she’s kissing her soundly, toni’s hands gripping her elbows to pull her closer as the pain seems to kind of just…melt away. 

 

it’s crazy, just how easily they’re able to bring out this strength in one another, this strength that keeps them _going._

 

“i love you.” toni whispers, pulling away from her and staring into her eyes to make sure the message gets across loud and clear, and cheryl doesn’t hesitate in doing the same, smiling as toni’s thumb brushes across her cheekbone tenderly.

 

“i love you.” cheryl whispers back. 

 

and out of nowhere, really…toni feels that familiar rush of euphoria, of complete and utter peace that she felt when she and cheryl had visited her parents after jacob’s funeral, one she can’t explain, but one she _knows_ is jason-

 

cheryl gasps softly, her eyes widening, and toni can’t stop herself from crying as she nods and wipes away cheryl’s tears with a whimper.

 

“i feel him, too, cher…i feel him, too.” she breathes. cheryl whines before she’s wrapping her arms around toni and sobbing into her shoulder, and toni just holds her close and tries not to breakdown with her, her eyes roaming all around the blossom cemetery as if she maybe, just _maybe_ , will be able to catch a glimpse of the twin brother who gave cheryl so much happiness for the first sixteen years of her life that toni wasn’t a part of…

 

cheryl just continues to cry into her shoulder loudly, her fingers gripping the back of toni’s shirt tightly to ground herself, and toni grips the back of her neck and presses kiss after kiss to the side of her face. 

 

she knows it’s not only pain cheryl feels, knows it’s excitement, too, because what they both feel right now…

 

it’s jason. and toni’s willing to fucking eat her hand if she’s wrong, but she knows she’s not. her twin brother is here with them, maybe not physically, but spiritually…

 

“he h-heard me, t-toni, h-he h-heard m-me-.”

 

“i know…i know, baby, i told you h-he’s here with us, talk to him, cher…talk to him, he’s here…” toni whispers, running her fingers up and down cheryl’s spine as the girl shudders at her touch before she pulls away, gulping down air shakily with bloodshot eyes as she looks around the cemetery with pursed lips-

 

her eyes settle on jason’s headstone, and a whimper escapes her as she hiccups and moves her eyes up just that little bit higher…

 

“i…i miss you so much, jason! i really do, i…i’m sorry, i’m so sorry, you _should be here_ , and i d-don’t understand _why you’re n-not,_ i d-don’t, i-.”

 

toni pulls cheryl into her arms the second she begins getting hysterical, deep gasps escaping her shakily as she tries to breathe, and toni does her best to just rub her back and murmur encouragingly into her ear to just keep breathing…

 

“shh, it’s okay, baby…i’m here, cher, i’m here…”

 

it breaks toni’s heart, but she knew it was inevitable. that cheryl would have at least one breakdown today, because jason’s death will forever haunt her, will forever be the worst thing to ever happen to the girl she loves, the loss of her twin brother an ache in her heart that will never, ever fade…

 

but toni will do her best to mend it. to fix the part of cheryl’s heart that’s so broken over her brother’s death, because god, she _loves_ her, and seeing her broken like this is something toni just…can’t handle.

 

she’ll do her best…however long it takes…

 

she just hopes tonight can be the beginning of it…

 

\------------------

 

“tiny, are you sure you wanna let her-.”

 

“shut up, you’re making her more nervous! cher, baby…” 

 

cheryl stares down at the tattoo gun with bile resting stagnant in the back of her throat, her hands shaking no matter how hard she wills them not to as her heart continues pounding against her chest faster and faster with each passing second.

 

she can’t do it, she can’t, what if she fucks this up-

 

gentle fingers wrap around her wrist, gripping tightly as cheryl swallows thickly and looks up at toni with nothing but fear, but toni’s eyes are filled with nothing but affection as she smiles encouragingly and leans in to kiss her forehead softly.

 

“cheryl, you’ve got this. you nailed the practice round on the mannequin, there wasn’t a line out of place-.” 

 

“a mannequin is different from a living, breathing person, toni! i…oh god, i’m gonna throw up…” cheryl’s head sinks down into the palm of her hand as she swallows down the bile in her throat once more, and toni actually laughs loudly before she presses a kiss to the back of her head with a light giggle.

 

“cheryl, i wouldn’t let you do this if i thought you were gonna screw it up, okay? i trust you.” toni says firmly, and cheryl looks up at her with a scoff of disbelief that she can’t even remotely hold back, shaking her head as she shrieks almost deliriously.

 

“i…you don’t even like needles, toni! you _hate_ them!” she barks, groaning as she presses the palm of her hands into her eyes, causing toni to laugh loudly once more.

 

“i know i don’t, but i’m kinda used to them now after my stay at the hospital, so-.”

 

“you’re not helping, reminding me of that!” cheryl growls. toni rolls her eyes before she grips cheryl’s face between her hands firmly with a frown.

 

“cher, just...stop freaking out, please, baby? please…if you really don’t want to do this, that’s fine…”

 

but god, cheryl can hear the disappointment in her voice and she _hates_ it. she doesn’t want to disappoint toni, that’s not something she can just allow herself to do-

 

_suck it up, do it **for her.**_

 

cheryl takes a few deep breaths in, gripping toni’s hand in her own and closing her eyes to really calm herself down before she licks her lips and nods slowly.

 

“no, i…i’ll do it, toni. just…sweet pea, please stay right by my side-.”

 

“hey, i got you, red. if i see you stuffing up, i’ll stop you.” sweet pea says with a chuckle, causing cheryl’s eyes to snap open as she glares at him, and toni sighs before she presses a kiss to cheryl’s brow and reaches for the tattoo gun beside her.

 

“the stencil’s right there on my wrist, cher. you just gotta go over the lines-.”

 

“toni, all your veins are exposed there, it’s gonna hurt…” cheryl whispers in fear, running her fingers over the purple stencil harrowingly as toni simply smiles and shrugs.

 

“i’ve been through worse-.”

 

“god, i know, toni, i _know_ you have, but i don’t want to put you through any pain…i love you.” cheryl whimpers, her bottom lip trembling, and toni’s face contorts into one of nothing but love and affection as she slowly leans in and grips cheryl’s chin between her fingers, kissing away her quivering bottom lip softly.

 

“cher, you’re not gonna hurt me, okay? you just stay focused on the tattoo and everything’s gonna be just fine.” toni reassures her.

 

cheryl tries to drink in her words, to take them to heart as sweet pea takes the tattoo gun from toni’s hand and squeezes it. the sound echoes out, and cheryl can’t help but wince, but he holds it out to her with his lips pursed as he nods firmly.

 

“come on, red. if you can pull a bow and arrow and keep it notched, you can do this with a steady hand, too. just remember to keep breathing, and keep your eyes focused on the lines, alright?” cheryl swallows the bile down once again before she nods and takes the tattoo gun from sweet pea’s hand.

 

she’s used to the feeling of it in her hand now, spent over forty five minutes tattoo a mannequin while sweet pea prepared the stencil for toni’s wrist, but she’s still nervous…she just can’t help it.

 

but she still inhales deeply through her nose and out of her mouth before she pulls the lamp down closer to toni’s wrist as her girlfriend lays it flat on top of the chair she’s sitting on with a smile.

 

“there you go, cher. you’ve got this.” toni whispers. cheryl purses her lips, squeezing the tattoo gun and letting it echo loudly around them before she dips it into the ink and looks up at sweet pea, who draws his chair between the middle of cheryl and toni and stares down at toni’s wrist with a frown.

 

“breathe…that’s the main thing you gotta remember.” he murmurs. cheryl nods, and she squeezes the tattoo gun to life and finally bends down to begin her first line.

 

she feels toni tense up the second the gun hits her skin, hears her inhale sharply, but she does as sweet pea told her and focuses entirely on the lines, forcing herself to treat this just as any other drawing she’s done, toni’s skin nothing but paper, the tattoo gun in her hands, a pencil…

 

and somehow…somehow it works.

 

cheryl spends a good hour tattooing the wolf onto toni’s skin, being careful with each stroke she makes, not wanting anything less than perfection, and sweet pea doesn’t even make any comments about it, just watches her in fascination as she slowly settles into the feeling of the vibrations from the tattoo gun.

 

the shading is a little more difficult to do, but sweet pea talks her through it step by step, and somehow, cheryl miraculously pulls it off as well without fucking it up, toni watching her with a slight wince, but nothing but happiness before cheryl finally sits up and groans at the stiffness that runs up her neck and back.

 

she stares down at the tattoo with a happy grin, satisfied with the way it looks as she smiles up at toni.

 

“i think i’m done.” she whispers.

 

toni inhales sharply before she looks down at tattoo slowly, leaning down to take in every inch of it with awe and adoration, and cheryl can see how red and irritated the skin is beneath the tattoo, feels nothing but guilt flood her until toni’s suddenly reaching a hand up to cradle cheryl’s face in her hand and leaning in to kiss her deeply.

 

cheryl returns her kiss eagerly, sighing against her before she pulls away and rests her forehead against cheryl’s with a smile.

 

“it’s perfect, cher. i knew you could do it.” she whispers.

 

“damn, she did a _really_ good job, tiny, i don’t think i could’ve pulled this off to be honest…” sweet pea chuckles, staring down at the tattoo and slowly nodding as he takes in the lines, clearly impressed with cheryl’s job. 

 

“it’s beautiful. it’s exactly what i wanted. you’re amazing, cheryl.” toni breathes, pressing another kiss to cheryl’s lips, and cheryl feels nothing but elation at the fact that she’s really pulled this off, and toni’s _so happy_ with her tattoo…

 

cheryl did that for her…the tattoo itself might be personal to toni, but it’s _cheryl_ that made the mark on her…

 

cheryl bites down on her bottom lip to stop herself from grinning widely as sweet pea begins wiping down the tattoo with a chuckle.

 

“i gotta ask, tiny…why a wolf?” he asks, being careful with the sensitive skin but still making sure to remove any excess ink as toni smiles and looks at cheryl, winking at her once before she shrugs.

 

“it’s a long story, sweets. a really long story…”

 

\--------------

 

toni brushes her fingers over the new tattoo marking her forearm with a smile as she hears the sound of shuffling footsteps behind her before she feels the zipper at her lower back suddenly slide up slowly, bringing the dress together and causing it to hug her body tightly as cheryl presses a kiss to her shoulder and hums softly.

 

“all done, t.t. you ready to go?” cheryl whispers, hot breath ghosting over toni’s skin and causing a shiver to run up her spine as she slowly turns in cheryl’s arms with a smile, the redhead’s hands gripping her waist as she wraps her own around cheryl’s neck.

 

“i am. veronica just texted me, the speakeasy is all ready to go. can’t believe we’re finally here at opening night…”

 

“mmm, although i’m a little peeved that it’s fallen on the same night as my birthday…” cheryl grumbles. toni simply smiles and leans up to press a kiss to the corner of her mouth before she really takes a second to take in cheryl’s dress.

 

long sleeved, red and sparkling under the lights of their trailer, bright red lipstick and red hair straightened and falling down her back softly…

 

_god, she’s beautiful. so, so fucking beautiful…_

 

toni licks her lips and pulls away from cheryl slowly, reaching for her purse on the vanity, her purse that’s carrying the most important gift of the night…

 

she can do this. she has it all planned out…

 

she grabs her phone and lights it up, smiling at the wallpaper of her and cheryl cuddled close and laughing before she looks at the time and sighs.

 

“the limo will be here in five, courtesy of miss lodge herself. her birthday gift to you.” toni says with a smile, watching as cheryl’s eyes light up before she lets out a groan of appreciation and reaches out to squeeze toni’s hand in her own.

 

“thank god, t.t. because there’s no way we could’ve driven on your bike in these dresses.” she says with a breathless laugh. toni grins before she checks herself over once more in the mirror and drags cheryl out of their room to the front of the trailer.

 

as predicted, the limo arrives five minutes later, pulling up to the front gates, and cheryl and toni wave to the few serpents who have decided to sit out the opening of veronica’s speakeasy as they make their way toward the entrance to the blossom estate.

 

the limo is fancy, toni will give veronica that, and the girl also has sparkling champagne waiting for them in a bucket of ice as soon as they clamber into the backseat, toni immediately grabbing it and popping it open with a cheer before she pours a glass for herself and cheryl.

 

“cheers, babe!” cheryl grins, clinking her glass to toni’s as they intertwine their arms and take a sip just as the limo driver takes off slowly.

 

cheryl stays cuddled up to toni’s side the whole drive there, toni trying desperately to stay in control because all she can think about is ripping that dress of cheryl’s body and ravaging it in this backseat, but everyone’s waiting at the speakeasy to surprise her girl, and she doesn’t want to keep them waiting just because she can’t keep it in her pants…

 

they make it to pop’s diner, toni hurriedly texting veronica as soon as the car rolls to a stop and scrambling to the door before holding her hand out for cheryl the second she steps outside, and cheryl takes it with a smile as they thank the limo driver, who takes off a few moments later. toni leads her towards the entrance to pop’s, and cheryl hums softly as the door opens and reggie mantle appears, wearing a tuxedo and looking quite dashing as he winks at toni and bows his head to cheryl.

 

“ladies…right this way.” he says, turning around as soon as they walk through the door and leading them toward the basement of pop’s with a certain swag in his walk that has toni raising an eyebrow at cheryl.

 

she didn’t expect veronica to choose reggie mantle of all people as host, but even the guy is as dumb as a doorknob, he has a good heart, and he also saved toni’s life that night of the riots, there’s no denying that…

 

toni’s heart begins pounding erratically as soon as reggie leads them down the secret staircase, cheryl frowning before she leans in close to toni and whispers-

 

“it’s quiet, t.t. what-.”

 

the second they reach the bottom and turn the corner into darkness, the place is suddenly flooded with light, a whole room full of people screaming-

 

“SURPRISE!”

 

cheryl shrieks, stumbling back as toni grips her tightly with a laugh, and cheryl stares at the crowd before her in complete and utter shock, toni unable to hide her grin as she looks at the decorations around the speakeasy.

 

it looks like an old nineteen fifties bar, but there’s a banner hanging over the stage where josie suddenly begins singing, the banner reading-

 

**HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHERYL AND JASON.**

 

toni smiles fondly, watches as tears immediately well in cheryl’s eyes before she looks at toni with a trembling bottom lip.

 

“you…did you-.”

 

“yeah. we all did…we want this night to be a good night for you, cher. now come on, baby, let’s go greet your friends.” 

 

cheryl simply walks forward in a daze, still in shock as the fellow students of riverdale high greet her and wish her a happy birthday, some of them students toni barely even knows until they finally, _finally_ reach their friends.

 

sweet pea is watching josie sing with an almost goofy grin on his face, kevin and fangs are slow dancing and laughing nearby, archie is seated at a table with veronica planted firmly in his lap, and betty and jughead are seated beside them in separate seats, their hands intertwined on top of the table.

 

“cheryl! happy birthday!” veronica jumps up from archie’s lap the second toni and cheryl make their way over, a huge smile on her face that only grows wider the closer they get, and toni grins as cheryl hugs her close with tears in her eyes that she quickly sniffs away.

 

“thank you, ronnie. it’s beautiful, all of it, i…just, _thank you._ ” cheryl whispers, and toni rubs her exposed upper back tenderly as veronica presses a kiss to cheryl’s cheek lightly. 

 

“of course, cheryl. only the best for miss bombshell, especially if her dashing girlfriend has anything to say about it.” veronica teases, grinning at toni as cheryl absolutely _beams_ at toni beside her.

 

archie is the first to jump up from his chair and hug cheryl close, whispering happy birthday to her before jughead and betty hug her at the same time to do the same. kevin and fangs pull her in for a dance as toni watches fondly, and it isn’t long before she’s dragged onto the dancefloor by them as well, her hand clasped tightly in cheryl’s as they laugh at fangs jumping around while josie’s voice echoes out beautifully.

 

the speakeasy is crowded, something that seems to make veronica nothing but insanely happy as she eventually joins in on the dancing with archie, and when josie takes a break and makes her way over to them to join the dance, grabbing sweet pea’s hand and dragging him towards the group with a laugh, toni waves betty and jughead over and rolls her eyes when jughead raises his hands and shakes his head.

 

“come on, jones!”

 

“i don’t dance!”

 

betty, however, eventually grabs him and drags him to the dancefloor, where he very awkwardly shuffles his feet, and it’s just the group together, existing in this moment where nothing else seems to matter but them.

 

they’re _happy._

 

forget the near death experiences and the struggles for power and the near arrests and juvie time, the death and destruction that’s followed them around since jason blossom’s death, really, no, forget it all…

 

in this moment, they’re a group of friends, of _kids_ , enjoying a night out, celebrating their friend’s birthday without worrying about anything else.

 

and truthfully, it’s _magical._

 

\------------

 

the group of teens don’t arrive at the blossom estate until eleven at night, veronica closing the speakeasy by ten to ensure that they can make it there before cheryl’s birthday ends to enjoy just one last bit of freedom before life returns to normal tomorrow morning.

 

and so, with one truck and an array of bikes parked right by the charred remains of thornhill some fifty or so yards away from the trailers of the serpents near the entrance to the estate, archie, veronica, betty, jughead, sweet pea, josie, kevin, fangs, cheryl and toni all jump into the pool, the one part of thornhill that remained untouched in the fire as they strip their clothes off until the boys are in their boxers and the girls are in their bra and panties before they jump into the pool with loud, raucous cheers that no doubt carry out to the trailers so far away from them, all of them too caught up in their joy to give a damn.

 

they simply flail around and splash each other and talk by the edge of the pool for a while before josie manages to get up on sweet pea’s shoulders while toni gets on top of kevin’s, and the both of them try to shove each other off playfully for a few moments as cheryl sits by the edge of the pool and watches on fondly, her grin only widening when archie props veronica on his shoulders and jughead does the same to betty so they’re joining in on the fun.

 

“whoever falls down last gets to kiss the birthday girl!” sweet pea teases, and cheryl howls with laughter as toni glares at him before she’s all but attacking the other girls with a playful growl. 

 

“no one kisses my girl but me!” toni cries out, and veronica and josie pretend to put up a fight as betty immediately jumps off jughead’s shoulders voluntarily, breaking through the water and grinning at cheryl before she shakes her head.

 

“you’re my cousin, not happening!” she sing songs. cheryl laughs as toni manages to shove off josie and veronica, and she crows with victory before fangs throws her back into the water suddenly, the girl re-emerging and spluttering before she splashes fangs with water angrily.

 

“asshole!” toni swims her way over to cheryl, grabbing the girl’s hand and pulling her down into the water, cheryl allowing her to do so with a smile as the others continue splashing each other while they simply stay wrapped in each other’s embrace, working together to keep themselves afloat…

 

“can we have a second alone?” toni murmurs, her lips brushing against the corner of cheryl’s red stained mouth, both their makeup still immaculate (god bless waterproof makeup), and cheryl nods once before they’re both pushing themselves up out of the pool, toni shouting out to the others that they’ll be back in a moment. 

 

cheryl reaches for one of the towels that toni had brought from their trailer before jumping into the pool, wrapping herself up in it with a light shiver as toni does the same, and she takes cheryl’s hand in her own and leads her back towards the trailers, cheryl gazing up at the stars with a smile as she does…

 

this has been the best birthday ever. for the last sixteen years, her birthdays have consisted of her crying in jason’s arms as her twin brother tried his best to cheer her up after receiving next to _nothing_ from her parents on her one special day each year, but this birthday…

 

this birthday, cheryl’s felt nothing but loved. and yes, there’s a deep pain, an ache in her heart over jason not being here to celebrate it with her, but still, she can’t deny that this day has been nothing short of perfection.

 

she’s spent it with the people she _loves._

 

toni suddenly turns left and begins leading them away from the trailers, toward the ruins of thistlehouse, and cheryl frowns, digs her heels just a little into the grass beneath her feet in reluctance, causing toni to pause and turn around with a soft smile and a shake of her head.

 

“trust me, cher.” she whispers.

 

cheryl hesitates for only the briefest second once more before she lets out a shaky breath and lets toni continue leading her towards the ruins of their home, her heart aching more and more the closer they get until toni’s stepping over the ruined foundation and pulling cheryl onto the charred and empty remains with a deep and sorrowful sigh.

 

cheryl doesn’t understand why toni’s brought her here, it doesn’t make any sense and it’s just upsetting the both of them-

 

“i…i know this is kind of the last place you wanna be right now, cheryl…but i promise there’s a reason why i’ve brought you here.” toni says softly, dropping her purse that cheryl didn’t even realize she had on her to the ground beside her. cheryl simply nods, tries to focus instead on the beads of water that trail over toni’s bare stomach, clinging to her silver belly button ring and her legs and arms…the towel around her shoulders falling slightly to expose her chest just a little more, water soaked bra and panties making the white color just a little darker-

 

“cher, i…we’re standing in the home we lost. a home that represented so much for us…a life of freedom, a life of independence, a life…fuck, a life _together._ and losing this home, it hurt me and it hurt you, so much more than i could’ve anticipated a place with four walls ever hurting. i’ve…been couch surfing my whole life, cheryl. i’ve never had a permanent home before and this one right here…this was my first.” toni looks around the charred remains with a certain sadness in her eyes that has tears immediately welling in cheryl’s, her heart aching as she closes her eyes and lets her tears fall down her cheeks with a shaky sigh.

 

“baby…baby, don’t cry. i…this may have been my first home, cher, but the first time…the first time i’ve ever _felt_ what home is supposed to be…is the night we rescued you from the sisters of quiet mercy…is the night we lay on f.p’s couch and you cried and i held you close and i promised myself i would do whatever it takes to keep you safe as long as i live.” toni says fiercely, passionate tears falling down her cheeks as she reaches out and grip cheryl’s hands in her own.

 

cheryl isn’t even sure where these words are coming from, or _why_ toni is saying them-

 

“we lost our home, cher, but we didn’t lose each other. and god, we’ve come close…so many fucking times, from the second we met, we just kind of…crashed into each other, and we grew and we grew on and on into this…this _amazing, beautiful, perfect_ thing, that i never could’ve _dreamed_ of happening…but we’ve come so close to losing each other so many times…your mother putting you in that hideous nunnery, the both of us getting kidnapped by ghoulies, me getting stabbed, the ghoulies attacking the lakeside and your mother doing _this_ , it all just…” toni trails off, letting out a shaky breath before she looks up at cheryl with nothing but pride shining in her eyes.

 

“it all just made us _stronger_ , cheryl. it’s just proven to me, to _us_ , that no matter what happens, you and i…nothing can tear us apart. and if nothing can tear us apart, then…why not just make this something a little more official than what it already is?” 

 

toni is _shaking_ , and for some reason, cheryl doesn’t think it’s from the cold of the water drying on her skin as her pink haired girlfriend bends down and fishes through her bag, clearly searching for something before she pulls it out and suddenly rests one knee on the ground while the other keeps her upright and-

 

she’s bending.

 

she’s bending down on one knee.

 

oh god. oh god, oh god, she’s _bending down on one knee and there’s a box in her hand-_

 

toni swallows audibly, visibly, her eyes wide and filled with fear and tears as the box trembles between her fingers, but she manages to open it up to reveal the most gorgeous diamond ring cheryl’s ever laid her eyes on. 

 

cheryl’s pretty sure the world sways for just a moment before toni’s reaching her free hand out to grip her own, a high pitched whine the both of them really, before toni clears her throat and looks up at cheryl with a watery smile.

 

“i promise i didn’t use any money on this, i…i kind of found it with grandpa’s belongings. it’s the topaz family ring, cher…my dad used this ring to propose to my mom, and grandpa used it to propose to grandma…it’s a family heirloom.” toni says hoarsely, inhaling sharply and barely giving cheryl any time to react to what she’s just said before she begins talking once more, each word filled with purpose, with poise…with nothing but intention.

 

“cher, the last eight months with you have been the best of my entire life. i can’t really begin to put into words, just how much you make me feel, but if there’s one word that i know describes it more than anything, it’s…it’s that you make me feel _alive_ , cheryl. more alive than i’ve felt in the past, more alive than i’ve felt now, and more alive than i’ll ever feel in the future. every second we share together i cherish with my whole heart, because there’s nothing on this earth i love more than _you._ which is why…which is why i ask…” toni’s voice seems to close up, pitched high and trembling before she clears it and shakes her head with a small laugh, looking up into cheryl’s eyes without a single inch of hesitation in them.

 

“cheryl blossom, today is your seventeen birthday, and today is the day that i ask you to let me be a part of every single birthday from here on out. today is your seventeenth birthday, a day you should be sharing with your twin brother…today is the day i ask you to let me do everything in my power to make this day less painful for you because of his loss. today is your seventeenth birthday, and today…god, today is the day that i ask you, whether it’s tomorrow or two years from now, or ten or fifteen or twenty…today is the day i ask you to do me the absolute _honor_ of one day becoming your wife.” 

 

with a trembling bottom lip and hands that are shaking so badly, it’s a wonder the box hasn’t dropped out of her grip, little antoinette topaz reaches into the box and pulls the ring out before she’s gripping cheryl’s left hand in her spare one, tears falling down her cheeks as she holds the ring up with nothing but love shining in her eyes.

 

“cheryl marjorie blossom…will you marry me?” toni breathes, eyes roaming cheryl’s face to gauge any kind of reaction from the girl she’s just asked to be her wife.

 

and instead of verbalizing anything, instead of crying, instead of grabbing the ring and shoving it onto her finger before slapping toni silly for even _asking_ such a question…

 

instead, cheryl blossom sinks down to her knees until she’s eye level with the woman she loves, sniffing back her tears as she grips toni’s face in her hands and presses a kiss to each brow, to each cheekbone before finally pressing one to her lips, a soft, quick, barely noticeable one that no doubt leaves toni confused until cheryl’s pulling away and looking into her eyes.

 

“does it even need an answer, t.t.?” she whispers.

 

toni blinks a few times before she responds with an ear splitting grin, cheryl’s heart pounding in her ears as toni takes her left hand and quickly slides that diamond ring over her ring finger, the both of them sniffing back tears before toni looks up at her with a wobbling chin and tear filled eyes.

 

“i love you, cheryl, i love you so much…” cheryl cuts her off with a bruising kiss, unable to stop herself from smiling against her _fiancée_ as the ring on her left finger brushes against the other ones in her haste to grip toni’s face between her hands.

 

her _fiancée_ …

 

cheryl pulls away and looks into toni’s eyes before she simply grins widely.

 

“southside serpent fiancées…has a nice ring to it.” she teases. toni laughs loudly, wiping away her tears as cheryl does the same before she stares down at her new engagement ring in complete and utter awe.

 

the fact…the fact that this was once worn by toni’s mother, the woman who gave her life, it…god, it hurts, but it also makes this all so much more _real…_

 

“toni, the fact that you’ve given me this…i love you too, toni, and i w-wish i had some grand speech set up, b-but-.”

 

“you didn’t see this coming?” toni chuckles, and cheryl whines as more tears fall down her face, the shock still kind of pounding into her over and over again as she kisses toni once and nods against her forehead slowly.

 

“not at all!” cheryl laughs in disbelief, and toni simply wraps her arms around her and holds her close, the blankets around their shoulders now on the floor and long forgotten about as they stand there in their bra and panties for god’s sake, without a care in the world.

 

they’re _engaged._

 

cheryl’s getting married. maybe not today or tomorrow, or any time soon, but one day…

 

god, toni’s _promised_ herself to cheryl, completely and utterly given herself to her completely-

 

“toni, come with me.” cheryl breathes, not even giving the girl a chance to say anything as she grabs her hand and drags her up to her feet before she’s rushing out of the remains of thistlehouse towards their new home, thankful that all the serpents have appeared to retire for the night, not a single one of them out by the bonfire. toni doesn’t say anything, just follows along as cheryl holds her hand out for the key, which toni fishes around in her purse for before handing it to cheryl with a smile.

 

the red haired girl opens the door to their trailer and steps inside, instantly rushing towards their bedroom and throwing open the first drawer of the dresser before she’s rumbling through it desperately, trying to find-

 

“got it!” cheryl pulls out the red velvet box that contains the blossom family ring, grinning up at the photos of toni’s parents that she also saved in the fire that are not in frames as she opens the box and pulls the ring out, turning to face toni once more.

 

toni’s eyes widen, and she looks at cheryl in surprise before she’s stepping forward and looking down at the ring in shock.

 

“you…you saved that, too?” toni croaks out, looking at cheryl in awe as the girl smiles and grips toni’s left hand in her own.

 

“yes…and there’s no one else i’d rather give it to, toni. i…i don’t have some big speech prepared, but toni, _i love you._ and all i could ever want is _you._ and even though i know what your answer is, i’m gonna ask-.”

 

“no, you’re not, because there’s no point.” toni interrupts breathlessly before she’s crashing her lips to cheryl’s eagerly, both girls moaning into the kiss quite loudly before toni pulls away and lets cheryl grip her left hand once more, sliding the ring onto her ring finger with a wide smile as she does. cheryl finds herself giggling in the euphoria of it all, and toni wraps her fingers in cheryl’s hair, tugging her lips back to her own and kissing her feverishly before she’s using one hand to grip her waist and pull her in even closer.

 

the blossom family ring…the ring that jason once gave polly cooper, with every intention of doing everything he could to save his future wife and his kids…the ring that now rests on toni topaz’s hand, the girl who cheryl loves more than she’s ever loved anything in her life before…

 

_i’ll do the same, jay jay. i’ll do everything i can to keep toni safe like you would’ve kept polly and the twins safe…_

 

it’s crazy, how cheryl always kind of saw this coming, but to have it happen _now…_

 

god, they’re getting married. she’s actually going to become the luckiest goddamn woman on planet earth one day because she’s going to get to call antoinette topaz her _wife._

 

part of her wishes they could just get married tomorrow, but she knows, she knows they’re too young just now. but the promise, the promise of the future is now forever sealed in the rings on their fingers, and it’s that…it’s _that_ thought that has her feeling nothing but elation and happiness as the clock strikes midnight and the new day rolls in.

 

the new day that signals the beginning of the rest of her life with antoniette topaz by her side.

 

laying on their bed, in their trailer, with the sound of their friends still cheering by the pool in the background, cheryl blossom pulls her full, red stained lips away from the pink, buttery ones belonging to toni topaz with nothing but a smile on her face and love in her eyes as she reaches up to tuck a lock of hair behind the pink haired serpent’s ear, the memories of everything they’ve experienced just kind of…hitting her, out of nowhere.

 

their first interaction at the hospital, the way toni and fangs had saved her from nick st. clair, how toni had checked in on her constantly after that, they day toni got arrested and they opened up to each other at pop’s, cheryl looking after toni after jacob had hurt her, the will reading, their first kiss in cheryl’s room, visiting f.p and getting him out of jail, her being thrown into the sisters of quiet mercy, toni saving her with the others, god…

 

their first ‘i love you’s, their first time, how they’d done everything in their power to keep each other safe when they had been kidnapped by the ghoulies, cheryl becoming a serpent, finding her family, the pickens day march, cheryl getting arrested, toni getting stabbed, the complete and utter pain they both felt at the fact that toni had almost died…

 

losing thistlehouse, losing thomas, fuck, all of these things in eight months, it’s hard to even fathom how they’re still alive, but it’s this rollercoaster that they’ve somehow managed to stay on without any safety belts or harnesses because they _have each other._

 

and it’s this kind of beautiful thing that cheryl never thought she’d have in her life, really. this unconditional, brave, irrevocable, sustainable _love_ that she’s quite sure will last forever.

 

at least it will for her.

 

it’s all been leading to this, really.

 

“i love you.” cheryl breathes, and of course, without missing a beat, toni bends down and kisses her softly before she’s whispering the words back as if it’s second nature, as if the very thought of doubting those words or hesitating to say them for a single second could ever enter her mind when not that long ago, toni couldn’t even _say_ those words to her…

 

“i love you.” she whispers back against her lips. cheryl giggles despite herself and they simply, stare, for a few moments, just drink each other in before toni smiles and raises an eyebrow.

 

“the others are gonna fucking freak out when we tell them.”

 

and then they’re devolving into a fit of giggles that leave them both gasping for air until they finally decide to grab dry clothes, shoving them on quickly and leaving their trailer to make their way back to the pool where their friends are, hand in hand with their engagement rings shining in the moonlight above them with only one thought racing through both their minds.

 

that yes, maybe they don’t know what their future holds.

 

but the present? 

 

yeah…the present looks quite bright for the both of them.


End file.
